Thread Drift

[Pax]

Wow, Helene, hope yours starts to feel better ASAP!

I was raring to go this morning, get out and run some errands, but the knee isn't cooperating. We're making the the best of it and sitting around reading, drinking coffee, and relaxing,

[Helene2013]

Try to encourage yourself Pax and say it is only for a little while. Then we'll be back to our "normal" lives. hihi My husband went to purchase me a pair of crutches. I prefer to spend 40$ and keep them forever than rent them at $10 a week++. Always good to have a pair handy anyway.

Feels weird though not doing anything at all but sit on sofa on a Saturday. Sooooo not like me. hihi

Will grab a book or my tablet and read magazines. Catch up on my internet stuff I never have time to do. Let hubby spoil me and have a pet or 2 sleeping beside me. Life is still good. :)

[Trek420]

Try to encourage yourself Pax and say it is only for a little while. Then we'll be back to our "normal" lives. hihi My husband went to purchase me a pair of crutches. I prefer to spend 40$ and keep them forever than rent them at $10 a week++. Always good to have a pair handy anyway.

Feels weird though not doing anything at all but sit on sofa on a Saturday. Sooooo not like me. hihi

Will grab a book or my tablet and read magazines. Catch up on my internet stuff I never have time to do. Let hubby spoil me and have a pet or 2 sleeping beside me. Life is still good. :)

MTB, touring, tri, running .... We need an "injured reserve" section on TE. ((All our gimpy athletes)) :p

[Helene2013]

I know... my injury is not related to cycling (the only sports I'm allowed to do for now - that and swimming but not that easily accessible for time-being) and our pool is now freezing and being closed in the coming days. Luckily I have an excellent PT and she will make it ok sooner than later. :)

[Owlie]

MTB, touring, tri, running .... We need an "injured reserve" section on TE. ((All our gimpy athletes)) :p

That would be fun! I'm starting to think that between my hip/knee/foot and grad school (and the awful student insurance that goes with it), I won't be able to ride a bike for another 4 years!

[Pax]

Since I can't go outside and do anything fun... I stayed inside and put on a big pot of chili!!!

[OakLeaf]

Mmmmmm, chili.

[Pax]

It was sooooo good! Leftovers tonight and another batch in the freezer for later.

[Trek420]

Mmmmmm, chili.

With beer.

[Pax]

Leftovers were fantastic!!! Had wine instead of beer though, I had an open bottle of Pinot Noir to finish. :D

[salsabike]

Just overheard the weirdest thing through my office door at work from one of the Natural Resources wildlife rehabilitators.

"Oh, no! If that had been a snake, I wouldn't have put it in the fridge...."

I can't imagine the rest of that conversation.

Love that. :)

[Pax]

Muirenn - my desk is near a door connecting to a hallway where students gather waiting to get into the lecture hall across the corridor, I hear bits and pieces of their conversations all day... but nothing quite that interesting! :p

[Catrin]

This made me laugh!

[lph]

I had the joy of overhearing two young teenage girls, psyched from the climbing gym, loudly and very eagerly discussing exactly how dishonest one could be towards ones parents. One of them had obviously lost or broken some item. They agreed that she didn't have to say how it happened, and pretending that she forgot and put it into the washing machine by mistake was fine. But she could NOT say that her mother had put it into the washing machine by mistake, because that was LYING. "You have to take the responsibility yourself, right?"
On and on. Very amusing :-D

[Helene2013]

The things we can hear those "darling" teenagers say heuh!

Someone related (hey!!! I'm not like her!) who was in her teenage years stole from a bank (at teller) and was honest enough to tell her dad (long story short as it is pretty complicated). But she was telling her dad who obviously was very very upset and turned her in, that "it is ok dad as it was not a real gun!" The dad turned white and although stayed calm while pedaling under water - trying to explain to her that a teller does not have time to question if it is for real or not!!!! What if the police shot you, etc. And she was dumb enough to not even cover herself! So she was totally opened for cameras. hihi He was trying to tell her that police don't question when such robbery it taking place. And what she did for drug (and her then boyfriend) was totally wrong and could have very high-price to pay. If I wrote the whole story, some of you would freak out. Unbelievable sometimes what those kids can come up with. Luckily she turned around and seems ok as a young adult now. But still...

Imagine being a parent and finding out your kid not only robbed a bank, but 2, and one he was doing his business with! And some restaurant chain. Shishhh. And she was well-raised, etc. Go figure what is in their right mind sometimes! At least he was man enough to turn in his own kid to the police so she could understand how the system works and learn from it. She did. I think...

[salsabike]

So here's one of my favorite "overheard" things: Not long after I returned to school psychology in 2002 or so, after spending a decade away working in public policy at the state level, I was walking down the hall of my elementary school and I heard a 2nd grade teacher say to his class, "Okay, everyone who's been wearing paper moustaches, please take them off and put them back in your desks."

Didn't hear THAT kind of thing in the state government agencies. It still makes me smile.

[rocknrollgirl]

I teach high school...you would not believe what I overhear....:eek:

[Pax]

Well, talking with the investment/retirement guy was like being a goldfish, listening to a martian. I have NO idea what 90% of the words he used meant; I just sat there like "huh" Thankfully Mary understood, all I had to do was sign my name.

[snapdragen]

I used to feel that way too Pax. My dad would start talking to me about my finances, investments, and what I should do. My eyes would glaze over halfway through the conversation. I'm sure he would have hated that I rolled my 457b (Public Emplyees version of a 401K, sort of) into my regular pension plan. It added five year to my days of service though. :cool:

[Pax]

It was weird, I can write you a multi million dollar HUD grant, but financial stuff is as confusing to me as basketball!

[Crankin]

I hate listening to financial stuff. I understand quite a bit of it, but I would avoid it if I could. I let DH handle this. I am aware of all of the stuff, but I don't have the inclination to watch the market daily and make transactions. I put my $ in a socially responsible fund, so I wouldn't have to deal with it. When the growth wasn't so spectacular, I gave DH permission to pull it out and do the investments himself. It's doubled, so I guess he knows what he is doing.

[OakLeaf]

Yeah, it makes my eyes glaze over too, when it isn't plain terrifying ... pretty much the same as electrical stuff. :cool: Both life skills that can wind up costing me badly if I trust too much to others. But I just don't really get it.

I wonder whether it's a matter of what we were exposed to as kids? Growing up, my parents never shared money stuff with us kids. My dad, really, my mom was in the dark too, and after he passed away, she had to learn what she could and trust entirely too much to her broker. At least, thankfully, her 401(k) gives her access to a broker who's salaried to manage all her investments without commission. And then, for most of my young adult life I lived so close to the edge that saving wasn't even possible. So, now DH tries to involve me, but his understanding is so far beyond mine that it's hard for him even to explain things in terms that I can integrate. Discrete concepts, yeah, I can get, but how it all works together, it might as well be Sumerian.



On a completely different note ... I had a little epiphany this morning about my own reactions to some things, triggered by the graffiti thread. I realized that I get cranked at any kind of "other-ing" of bad behavior.

Sometimes it's just a way to feel superior, insulting but basically harmless. ("I didn't do X when I was young, and so when I read about young people doing X now, it means that my generation was superior to the current crop of young people.")

Sometimes it's a way to deflect self-examination, to the detriment of both the person and their community at large. (The meme that racism happens only in the American South, or that intolerant Christian Americans live only in rural areas. Or that only certain genres of popular music contain violent misogynist lyrics.)

Sometimes it costs lives, and means that some truly bad people are punished much worse than others. (The idea that mass violence is terrorism only if it's committed in the name of certain religions and not others.)

From small to large, it all ticks me off, the idea that people do bad things because they're members of groups that just coincidentally the speaker doesn't belong to.

[salsabike]

On a completely different note ... I had a little epiphany this morning about my own reactions to some things, triggered by the graffiti thread. I realized that I get cranked at any kind of "other-ing" of bad behavior.

Sometimes it's just a way to feel superior, insulting but basically harmless. ("I didn't do X when I was young, and so when I read about young people doing X now, it means that my generation was superior to the current crop of young people.")

Sometimes it's a way to deflect self-examination, to the detriment of both the person and their community at large. (The meme that racism happens only in the American South, or that intolerant Christian Americans live only in rural areas. Or that only certain genres of popular music contain violent misogynist lyrics.)

Sometimes it costs lives, and means that some truly bad people are punished much worse than others. (The idea that mass violence is terrorism only if it's committed in the name of certain religions and not others.)

From small to large, it all ticks me off, the idea that people do bad things because they're members of groups that just coincidentally the speaker doesn't belong to.

Well said, Oak. Thank you for this.

[Pax]

Well said, Oak. Thank you for this.

Agreed. Been thinking about this a bunch.

[Crankin]

I did lots of bad stuff when I was young, so I rarely think in terms of "that younger generation." Plus, i think it's pretty hard to generalize a whole generation. My own kids look like angels compared to me (and my DH), and they are part of the entitled group, according to the media.
From what I've observed in my new career (and somewhat while I was teaching), "bad things" are experienced in every culture, walk of life, neighborhood. It's how the particular people deal with the "bad thing," or the community response, that is different. I always have to laugh when one of my friends says, "that happened in .....???!!" Over the years, I've set them straight, so this doesn't happen much, but I am quite sure others think the same way.

[shootingstar]

It works the reverse also, millenials having certain impressions of boomers in general. What it annoying is in work-related literature is separating employees in generational groups... and how to treat them, their perceived work habits. Or blaming the car-dominant culture on boomers for ruining the environment, schlepping the kids around (unless they are shown other options)... as if all of us fall into that single category.

The single reason why I don't give my exact age at work, is being branded for being Luddite, etc. etc. I may not have a cellphone yet...but I am a person that is coming into your dept...to convert manual processes to electronic..

[Crankin]

This is total thread drift; I really want to post this on Facebook, but don't particularly want the nasty responses.
Since when did Halloween become a real holiday? I mean, I have fond memories of dressing up in simple store bought costumes, trick or treating, and going to a party at school, run by the PTA, on Halloween night. I stopped dressing up after 6th grade. After I moved to AZ, I thought maybe it was a regional thing that adults dressed up at work and "celebrated" Halloween. Now, I see that it's not, and people are talking about Halloween weekend, like it's Thanksgiving.
I don't like scary stuff and I'm OK with this as a kid's thing, but really, it just seems silly to me. I know it's just my opinion, and it's not hurting me, but sometimes I think my idea of fun is radically different than a lot of others!

[Helene2013]

I don't care at all for Halloween. Maybe because we have no kids. And stores are already into xmas trees, etc....and we're 2 months away, and Halloween is not even over! We live in a crazy world I think....all to make you spend! hihi

[shootingstar]

I'm actually amazed how different things are in the workplace ....nowadays compared a few decades ago where adults in the workplace,not necessarily a lot, love dressing up. There's a woman in our dept. who brought a whole box of Hallowe'en decorations and went around during her lunch hr. with another colleague to decorate our cubicles.So I have lots of funky mini witch hats festooning my cubicle.:D

Much to my surprise, 1 of my sisters and her husband really get into Hallowe'en festivities with their 2 young children (under 6 yrs. old) ...they decorate inside and outside of their house several wks. before Hallowe'en which also includes several of their own home carved pumpkins. I was not aware of this because I live in another province. They rent a local community centre rm. and throw a largish Hallowe'en party for parent-friends and their children with games, food (+some stuff that people bring), everyone in costumes.. this is 60+ people. She corrals teen nephews and niece to help out with the party. The neighbourhood is very popular trick or treating area..300 children showed up last year at their door, in the evening for candy... :eek: The older teens who help out, find it fun.

This is completely foreign to her other family members, because we never grew up with much emphasis on Hallowe'en at all.

[lph]

Halloween is getting bigger here too, but I like it, for one because I enjoy the whole vibe of it, but also because I don't feel any pressure to celebrate. That's not completely correct, I do feel that I have to go buy candy for the kids as a minimum, but it's a nice way to meet and interact with the neighbourhood. The "holidays" I really don't like are Valentine's, and mother's and fathers day, with ads everywhere trying to give you a bad conscience if you don't show how much you love someone by buying them something.

[Pax]

Thanksgiving used to be my favorite, the whole family got together, there was great conversation and food, and there were no presents to buy... just a nice day together.

[Crankin]

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite, since it's all about the food, getting together, fun. I liked Chanukah when my kids were small, now, it's less of a celebration for us. I also used to love Valentine's Day, as my Dad always made a big deal of it while I was growing up, with jewelry for my mom, and candy/small gifts for me. DH and I go out a lot, so it's not such a big deal now. I usually cook a nice dinner and sometimes we exchange small gifts.
I also love Patriot's Day, a quintessential Massachusetts Day. It's the celebration of the "shot heard round the world," and now that I live 3 miles from where that actually happened, it's quite meaningful. I also have marched in the parade as part of a military family group, and it's just amazing.

[Pax]

This is my first "orphan" year. My parents are gone now, my brother and I are okay with each other now, but our lives are very separate so we won't see much of each as time goes on. This holiday season is going to be strange, mom was the glue that kept us together as a family, now we'll go our own ways and hopefully, create new traditions.

[Helene2013]

Pax,
I hear you on this. Very often parents are the ones who keep us together. My parents and hubby parents are gone so there is really nothing much left to "celebrate". Very often, it is just the 2 of us and we're fine with it. The hardest holiday I think is Xmas and New year's eve. Other than that, I don't care much for holidays. Thanksgiving in Canada goes unnoticed for most of us, at least those I know, in Canada. So yep. We need to be creative in our own ways.

[Pax]

I'm thankful Mary and I will get to spend xmas/new years/ and our 25th anniversary at our new place in FL. Seems like a good way to get some new traditions started!

[PamNY]

On a completely different note ... I had a little epiphany this morning about my own reactions to some things, triggered by the graffiti thread. I realized that I get cranked at any kind of "other-ing" of bad behavior.

Sometimes it's just a way to feel superior, insulting but basically harmless. ("I didn't do X when I was young, and so when I read about young people doing X now, it means that my generation was superior to the current crop of young people.")

Sometimes it's a way to deflect self-examination, to the detriment of both the person and their community at large. (The meme that racism happens only in the American South, or that intolerant Christian Americans live only in rural areas. Or that only certain genres of popular music contain violent misogynist lyrics.)

Sometimes it costs lives, and means that some truly bad people are punished much worse than others. (The idea that mass violence is terrorism only if it's committed in the name of certain religions and not others.)

From small to large, it all ticks me off, the idea that people do bad things because they're members of groups that just coincidentally the speaker doesn't belong to.

Very well stated. I could go on about this for pages, but I won't. You've done a good job of saying what needs to be said.

[Helene2013]

Talking about Halloween...could not help but share that one! Valid anytime as a matter of fact (while riding!) hihi
click to enlarge
17437

[Veronica]

Sometimes it's just a way to feel superior, insulting but basically harmless. ("I didn't do X when I was young, and so when I read about young people doing X now, it means that my generation was superior to the current crop of young people.")



I have to disagree. I've been working with the same basic age group of children 9 - 11 year olds for 20+, and they have changed. They know a whole more about the world, sex, drugs, movies, videos than they did 20 years. The first time I showed the sex video to my fifth graders in 1996 shot from the point of view of a sperm, they had no idea that when the sperm entered the "large cave" that the man had just ejaculated. My students today know about condoms and golden showers.

Further their ability to deal with interpersonal relationships has changed. They no longer ignore people who bother them. They yell at them or hit them. Their ability to perform academically has changed as well. When material is challenging, they are more likely to give up. If something has too many words, they won't read it.

i do believe overall the ten year olds of 1996 were superior to the ten year olds of today.

Veronica

[rocknrollgirl]

I have to agree with Veronica. I have been 27 years at the same school, 19 with the same age group of high school kids. Things are not the same, and not in a good way. I don't think it is the typical situation of the older generation thinking that these "wild and crazy kids are going to ruin the world." The kids have changed. What I am able to teach has changed, parent interactions have changed.

[Crankin]

I agree with both points of view, if that makes sense.
Society has changed, not just the kids or teens. However, every generation still says, "Those kids are going to ruin the world." Since I work with both adolescents and adults now, I can truly say that it's not just the kids. A lot of the teens I work with are funny, smart, and have great potential. They just have parents who are clueless, who have actually contributed to making their kid's mental health worse, mostly by ignoring it.
I know a lot of millennial, through my kids. Most of them (including my own kids) view the world quite differently, but this is not necessarily a bad thing.

[shootingstar]

"Since I work with both adolescents and adults now, I can truly say that it's not just the kids. A lot of the teens I work with are funny, smart, and have great potential. They just have parents who are clueless, who have actually contributed to making their kid's mental health worse, mostly by ignoring it.
I know a lot of millennial, through my kids. Most of them (including my own kids) view the world quite differently, but this is not necessarily a bad thing."

+1

[DebSP]

17438

"All this technology is making us antisocial."

Perception is everything. I have read the argument that reading the newspaper is fundamentally different and shouldn't be compared, to today's technology, but I disagree with that argument. But I am guilty of thinking that cell phones make us not so much antisocial but lessens our social skills and makes us a ruder generation. I don't know if that is true. Do I think that it is an "age" related problem? No.I have seen people older than myself (and I am in my 50's) talking on their cell while ordering food or paying at a check out instead of engaging with the person serving them. Spray cans were invented in the late 40's. Maybe if they had been earlier and more available, graffiti would have been a problem in a different generation. (which is where this discussion started). I think the whole generational problem goes hand in hand with technological advances and how we adapt to them not based on your birth year.

[lph]

Well, many people have been taught good manners, but not necessarily true thoughtfulness and empathy. People who grew up without cell phones never got the beady eye from a disapproving parent when using a cell phone at an inappropriate moment :-)

[rebeccaC]

You know toddlers today are just terrible. I’d call them ‘generation sociopath’….they will pull your hair, pee on themselves, their attention span is almost non-existent and they throw full bowls of cereal without even thinking of the consequences.....terrible, terrible, terrible.......

" Children today love luxury too much. They have detestable manners, flout authority; have no respect for their elders. They no longer rise when their parents and teachers enter the room. What kind of awful creatures will they be when they grow up?"
Socrates on Athenian youth….or not

perhaps it's best to learn and embrace what's positive about each generation and more importantly each person

[Crankin]

Why is it, that about once a week, my allergies act up, and I generally feel crappy? Did the nasal rinse (almost everyday), taking Nasacort, and took a Claritin. My eyes feel like sandpaper. Went for a little 11 mile hill ride this afternoon, because it was close to 70 and that just made it worse. DH is kind of the same right now, so there just may be something in the air, but I have this all of the time. Am I so delicate that I can't stand any stress or exercise? This pisses me off! I am done with allergists... shots just make me feel worse and my house is environmentally the best it could be (no carpet, etc).
I'm going to bed.

[Veronica]

" Children today love luxury too much. They have detestable manners, flout authority; have no respect for their elders. They no longer rise when their parents and teachers enter the room. What kind of awful creatures will they be when they grow up?"
Socrates on Athenian youth….or not

perhaps it's best to learn and embrace what's positive about each generation and more importantly each person

I was in the middle of teaching math yesterday - rounding decimals - and one of my students blurts out in the middle of the lesson, no hand, no waiting to be called on... "Can I go outside to fart?" You can imagine how the other ten year olds in the classroom reacted. Yeah, it would be a funny scene in a movie, not so much when I'm actually trying to teach.

I have too much data to show that children have changed in less than positive ways in the last twenty years.

Veronica

[Pax]

I think behavior is cyclical, perhaps generational. One generation is raised by autocratic parents, they rebel and raise theirs with complete free rein, who in turn raises theirs in a loving but understanding home, who feel like things would have been better with a firmer hand, who raise theirs tougher, etc. etc.

[OakLeaf]

Crankin, if you don't mind looking like you're suffering from Ebola paranoia, a mask REALLY helps me when the pollens are through the roof or when I'm going to be working with moldy mulch. If you decide to try it, get the N95 masks - the non-rated ones they sell for dust and pollen are pretty much useless IMO.

[OakLeaf]

I have too much data to show that children have changed in less than positive ways in the last twenty years.


Data, or anecdotes? Because in the 42 years my mom's been teaching, she hasn't noticed people getting "worse."

When your colleagues, or your students' parents, behave in ways that displease you, is that because of their respective ages, too?



(I might also note that going outside to fart IS the polite thing to do, most of the time. I'm reminded of when one of my 9th grade classmates asked our science teacher, "Do fish sh*t?" Sure it cracked up the class. Sure the kid seemed like he was being audacious, and sure he was embarrassed too. But he was also genuinely curious, and the teacher understood both that, and that the kid just didn't know the word "defecate" and would have been even more embarrassed to use whatever euphemism he used at home as a toddler. Yep, a kid used a 4-letter word in class! Yep, the rest of the class laughed! And the kids involved are now old enough to be your students' grandparents.)

[rebeccaC]

I have too much data to show that children have changed in less than positive ways in the last twenty years.

Veronica

I have a good friend who teaches in a tough L.A. school…..she always looks at research on how students the ages she teaches process information and she likes learning how their digital and family worlds impact them, that approach and a flexible enough teaching style helps her be effective in engaging them. She also is always looking for positive ways to help her students learn and stay engaged rather than studies that show how bad they are. That empathic, focused and positive approached is also why I like having discussions with her!!! Even though she makes less money than I do we both work long hours to do the best work we can.

[lph]

As rebeccaC pointed out, older people have always felt that younger people have too little respect for their elders. But I do think that in general young people today have less respect for authorities than before, and in many ways that's a good thing. I have a 17 year old. My impression is that this is a generation who not only feel that they have the right to stand up and be heard, but also actually know how to do so. They're vocal, used to standing in front of the class and presenting topics, they have political views that they're not afraid to discuss with adults, and they know waaaay more about the complicated world they live in than I did at 17. I'm not saying it's ok to be rude, or to think one is the center of the universe, just that being aware, vocal and ready to stand for what you believe in are good things, in a world where huge corporations spend enormous amounts of money to subtly change your opinions and actions to their benefit.
I don't doubt that this is a group that it's much more challenging to be a teacher for. I could never be one, I find it challenging enough to be a parent. But all in all I'm very impressed by teenagers today.

[Crankin]

Oak, I can't really correlate the onset of allergies with riding or other outside stuff. It just makes it worse! It always starts with me waking up feeling like I've just been run over. I have a long history of this, it's just running in shorter cycles since the end of the summer.
I'll be honest, I don't think I can go out with a mask, Ebola has nothing to do with it!
I have to go to work, it's my day to go the high school. How did I ever go to work at 6:30 AM for 30 years?????

[shootingstar]

I don't doubt that this is a group that it's much more challenging to be a teacher for. I could never be one, I find it challenging enough to be a parent. But all in all I'm very impressed by teenagers today.

Agree. But probably a mixed bag of stuff.
What is very disturbing is some strange/violent/inappropriate Internet information which children can access far more easily than we ever could in the non-Internet world. That alone can make parenting harder in terms of external influences.

By the way, I've just signed for a pilot course that our organization is offering on working with millenials in the workplace. I'm curious how they plan to handle the course content..! To me, it's just nearly as awkward as a course on working in a diverse cross-cultural workplace (another course which I didn't sign up). They are pilot..for obvious reasons: tendency to pigeonhole people in certain groups according to perceived behaviours, etc.



I

[PamNY]

Fellow cyclists on a bike ride today:

"You doing halloween candy this year?"

"Nope. Don't have any to give out. I ate it all."

And he was serious!

~~~~~

Maybe you had to be there, but that was funny.

Sounds like my kind of guy.

[rebeccaC]

Skittles???????

now if I'm going to eat it all before.....a tin of La Maison du Chocolat Tobago's ….individually wrapped squares of milk and dark chocolate. :)

http://rchauvin.smugmug.com/photos/i-Vt9Tp2Z/0/L/i-Vt9Tp2Z-L.jpg

[Pax]

Drooooool!

[OakLeaf]

He obviously didn't buy enough candy to begin with!

When I lived in town, a few churches bussed the rural kids into our neighborhood for trick-or-treat. It was a working poor neighborhood where they knew people would be generous. We'd go through 20 bags of candy and have to turn our porch light off before trick-or-treat hours ended!

I can totally eat a movie-sized bag of Skittles before the closing credits roll....

[Catrin]

Crankin - I hope you can find a resolution to your problem, that would be quite frustrating! Have you added anything new to your diet since summer, or perhaps changed the frequency of something you used to only eat occasionally? I've noted that food sensitivities can present in rather unexpected ways that may not appear to be food-related at all. Wishing you the best on figuring this out.

Looking back to my own teenage years - the only way that I can see that things have changed for the current teens is their over-exposure to social media and highly inappropriate internet content exposure. To be fair, I was a wild child that couldn't stay out of trouble with the juvenile authorities - so my perspective might differ from some. All of that being said, it WAS the early 70's when I got their attention and frankly, back then, the behaviors that got us in trouble were far milder than the kind of trouble teens get into these days. Sadly there are all of those bad examples in social media and the internet to give them ideas :(

Oakleaf, it sounds like those rural kids had fun! I've lived in apartments for years now, and there isn't any trick-or-treating there. At least not in anywhere I've lived, though there may have been something at the clubhouse if there was on.

[Crankin]

Catrin, I can't think of any egregious changes I've made in my diet. I hardly eat dairy, just plain Greek yogurt and a little cheese and very high quality whole wheat or spelt breads, in small amounts. I know it in my stomach, if I've had too much dairy. I'm going to track the pattern, because there is one... I am wondering if there's something in my office,
Ack, I was wild as hell as a teen and I don't regret a minute of it. I wasn't rude, though, and school was always a priority. So, for someone who spent a few years hanging out on the Boston Common and in Coconut Grove in Miami, doing lots of bad stuff, and protesting everything, I think my attitude is different. All of my friends did the same and they are all very successful professionals. I do think social media has added in something bad to the mix, though. I am just glad both of my kids seem to take an old person's view of all of this stuff. My older son got his Facebook hacked and had shut it down over a year ago. He had like 400 friends and it has impacted his connections to some people. My younger son got on after he got out of the Marines. He never posts anything, but he does have "friends." I talk to him on Messenger sometimes. They both think Twitter and Instagram are stupid, which for 32 and 29 year olds is interesting.

[Pax]

Soooo, anyone from San Francisco? My honey has to go to the ALA annual conference next summer in San Francisco, we chatted about it and decided I'd go along. Never been there and always wanted to... then I find out we'll be there for PRIDE! Seems like it will be a fun time!

[rebeccaC]

Soooo, anyone from San Francisco? My honey has to go to the ALA annual conference next summer in San Francisco, we chatted about it and decided I'd go along. Never been there and always wanted to... then I find out we'll be there for PRIDE! Seems like it will be a fun time!

Pride has been a great weekend longer than I’ve been alive :)…..a wonderful Saturday festival and of course the parade on Sunday! You should have a great time!!!

Luv San Fran…..the Lexington and El Rio Clubs in the Mission district. The Women’s Building, for a great sense of the community, also in the Mission. Watching the Bay Area Derby Girls!!!!, GREAT dim sum and other restaurants like Radish, Gracias Madre, Arizmendi bakery and pizzeria and the Off the Grid food trucks……and more and more and more

leaving for a weekend of riding, rock climbing and bouldering in Josuha Tree..Yay!!!!

[Pax]

LOL Rebecca, I went to my first Pride the year I came out, 1978, it was a revelation. :D the SF Pride is like Mecca, so I'm thrilled I'll get to see it. That, and I want to see a redwood.

[lph]

Muirenn, it's a rite of passage. You are now a certified Bike Commuter. Welcome :-D
(A good tip is to always keep a ratty pair plus bra, you know, the ones you're on the brink of throwing away, permanently at work, for that day in the future when you will forget again...)

[Pax]

Life is simpler when you live commando. :D I ditched panties back in 1974 when I was on swim team and lifeguarding after school, too many "issues" with being in a wet nylon suit that many hours a day. Any time I have to wear them now I feel like I'm wearing a diaper.

[Pax]

Ha ha. That would get rid of panty lines. :)
It really does. :p

[Crankin]

+1.
I keep a spare bra/underwear in with my hygeine supplies in a desk drawer. They are underneath, way in the back. I'm a little nervous, though, because every other Wednesday the child psychiatrist who helped me get this job uses my office and we share the desk drawers. He does not use the drawer with my stuff. He's a kindly man in his seventies, and I don't think he'd be freaked out by seeing a bra, but still...
When I was teaching, I had a stand alone closet with one side where you could hang stuff, with a shelf above. The other side was for book storage. I kept lots of stuff there, a strapless bra that could be worn with anything, a pair of black flats, a black jacket, and hygeine stuff. I was always freaked out when I would open the closet to get books out. The bra and such were hidden, but not totally out of sight. No students ever saw it, though!

[Sky King]

:D too funny. I usually remember the underwear and forget the bra, which for me is worse as I have to wear the sweaty sports bra, ick

:D Rite of Passage? Cool!!

I usually do keep spare underwear in my work backpack. Unfortunately, I don't have it when I commute, because I can't keep the pack on the bike. (I use Revelate Viscacha. Which I love love love).

Okay. So underwear, towels, maybe an extra outfit. The weather has been crazy, I dressed for cold weather, and it's hot now! (Well, cold is relative. I'm about 70 km north of Savannah, GA. You know, I like cold weather better, I grew up in NE Iowa. Very close to Minnesota. Maybe I should move to Norway? (Does Norway have easy immigration? Only half-kidding here. Well, maybe just a visit).

[Pax]

I have my own office, and a wall locker that is half shelves, and half a hanging area for clothing. I've no excuse for not having suitable clothing here...
This is what my honey has; when she starts to telecommute it's going to become a work clothes locker with spare professional wear and her winter coat/boots/gloves/hat.

[ny biker]

+1.
I keep a spare bra/underwear in with my hygeine supplies in a desk drawer. They are underneath, way in the back. I'm a little nervous, though, because every other Wednesday the child psychiatrist who helped me get this job uses my office and we share the desk drawers. He does not use the drawer with my stuff. He's a kindly man in his seventies, and I don't think he'd be freaked out by seeing a bra, but still...

You could put them in a large envelope, or even in one of those white mesh bags that you can buy for washing delicates -- then no one but you would know they were there.

(I bought a few extra mesh bags last year, and use one to store my booties and toe covers between rides. I don't wash them every time I use them, and I figure the bottoms are unclean since I walk in restrooms and portapotties with them on, so I like to keep them separate from the other clothes in my Big Bag of Winter Bike Gear.)

[Trek420]

Soooo, anyone from San Francisco? My honey has to go to the ALA annual conference next summer in San Francisco, we chatted about it and decided I'd go along. Never been there and always wanted to... then I find out we'll be there for PRIDE! Seems like it will be a fun time!

Pride SF; where are you staying? If you're staying in the East Bay (generally cheaper and easier to park) a lovely thing is to take BART to the parade. The atmosphere on the train is great. Be sure to check the routes so you don't end up at the station that does not have the SF line on Sundays etc. :p

Exit at Embarcadero and get there early. I like to walk around the parade staging areas. You'll want to get back to Market a little before the parade start and find a spot. The roar of the motorcycles is not to be missed. Have fun. Bring sunscreen.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EqlnhH6YHP0

[Pax]

Won't know where we'll staying until the conference registration opens in January, we have to stay in one of the approved hotels. Once I know I'll be bugging you for tips and tricks! :p

ETA - HOLY COW, that's a lot of bikes!!!! I don't think there's that many women riders in this entire state.

[Trek420]

ETA - HOLY COW, that's a lot of bikes!!!! I don't think there's that many women riders in this entire state.

Ok so you want to see a redwood? Many great places to hike, Santa Cruz is nice and we'll discuss that. I like Armstrong Redwoods. So you could plan to go there and tour the Russian River areas.

http://www.sonomacounty.com/blog/gay-guerneville

[Pax]

Have to see if we can rent a car and take some time away from SF. She is usually swamped at conferences... so if we don't have car transport, are there any redwoods to see via bus/train?

[snapdragen]

You could try Muir Redwoods. http://www.sftodo.com/muirwoodssanfrancisco.html

[Pax]

You could try Muir Redwoods. http://www.sftodo.com/muirwoodssanfrancisco.html
Oooh, that looks so cool, thanks!

[snapdragen]

It's very cool. You might be able to find a tour that goes up there.

[Pax]

It's very cool. You might be able to find a tour that goes up there.

We know some people in Marin that we might be meeting up with, if we make it up there that seems kinda close.

[rebeccaC]

Ok so you want to see a redwood? Many great places to hike, Santa Cruz is nice and we'll discuss that. I like Armstrong Redwoods. So you could plan to go there and tour the Russian River areas.


Muir can be tourist heavy during the middle of the day but it's close for just a quick trip to hug a redwood :)....for a longer day trip I'm with Trek420 about going farther north (http://www.tripadvisor.com/Travel-g60713-c139373/San-Francisco:California:Day.Trip.North.html)......actually I'd take a couple of more days and head to the Redwood National Park for old growth redwoods.

the DOB's always lead the parade....they have a party at the El Rio on Saturday afternoon and that's the place to find someone to ride on the back of their bike if you want to do that

[Pax]

Muir can be tourist heavy during the middle of the day but it's close for just a quick trip to hug a redwood :)....for a longer day trip I'm with Trek420 about going farther north (http://www.tripadvisor.com/Travel-g60713-c139373/San-Francisco:California:Day.Trip.North.html)......actually I'd take a couple of more days and head to the Redwood National Park

the DOB's always lead the parade....they have a party at the El Rio on Saturday afternoon and that's the place to find someone to ride on the back of their bike if you want to do that

Speaking of bikes, I've thought about renting a bike from Dubbleju (http://www.dubbelju.com/) to see some of the city, I could easily run up the coast if Mary is in meetings all day!

[rebeccaC]

Speaking of bikes, I've thought about renting a bike from Dubbleju (http://www.dubbelju.com/) to see some of the city, I could easily run up the coast if Mary is in meetings all day!

if you do that, you and Mary could ride in Pride too. :)

DOB's registration (http://www.dykesonbikes.org/images/RegPDF/REGISTRATION%20FORM%202014.pdf)

[Pax]

if you do that, you and Mary could ride in Pride too. :)

DOB's registration (http://www.dykesonbikes.org/images/RegPDF/REGISTRATION%20FORM%202014.pdf)

Soooo tempting! But I think I want to watch the parade... I'm going to have to give that some thought though, a once in a lifetime chance. Hmmm

[Trek420]

Soooo tempting! But I think I want to watch the parade... I'm going to have to give that some thought though, a once in a lifetime chance. Hmmm

Not once in a lifetime, you'll be back. First time. My recommendation is either go early, stroll the line of bikes at the staging area, do not drool on the bikes and then go to parade start and watch em roll by. I can't explain how moving the sight and sound is especially last year with all the progress. Or .....

Find someone to ride with and go for it. You're the first people in the parade so at the end presumably you just get off the bike. Profound thanks for the ride and walk backwards to see it all.

The parade is kind of a mobile experience, you find a good spot, stand and watch, see someone you know or a group you're involved in and pop in and walk for a while. Step out and walk backwards or forwards. .... Or you can just stay put. Keep in mind the side of Market you are on determines if you'll freeze in shade or boil in sun. think layers.

As for a motorbike tour I think you should head south out of San Francisco to Half Moon Bay perhaps taking 92 up over the hill. stop for a break in Half Moon Bay, keep going down the coastal highway to here for lunch at Duarte's perhaps

http://www.pescadero-california.com

You could continue to Santa Cruz. the boardwalk's fun but more important there are redwoods to hug.

[Pax]

If I head south I'll have to stop and pay the customary homage to Mavericks. :D

[Trek420]

You could. Could also take the train through the redwoods. I do not know if you can get off the train and hug a tree;

http://www.roaringcamp.com/steamtrain

[rebeccaC]

To make it more enticing :)….they close off a street to park the motorcycles just a few blocks from the end of the parade route so you can walk back and watch. You’ll only miss the first couple of groups in the lineup out of the 200+ that participate. DOB's should have all that info.



As for a motorbike tour I think you should head south out of San Francisco to Half Moon Bay perhaps taking 92 up over the hill. stop for a break in Half Moon Bay, keep going down the coastal highway to here for lunch at Duarte's perhaps

You could continue to Santa Cruz. the boardwalk's fun but more important there are redwoods to hug.

and continue on to Big Sur!!!!!!

[Trek420]

You'll miss Mike's on Bikes, maybe AIDS Lifecycle riders ... About it.

Oh yeah, Big Sur!

[lph]

Oh dear lord. The literary Bad Sex nominations are out. This article is half as funny as the comments below, which have given me a stomach ache from laughing so hard. NSFW http://www.theguardian.com/books/poll/2014/nov/12/literary-review-bad-sex-award-shortlist-2014?CMP=twt_gu

[PamNY]

Oh dear lord. The literary Bad Sex nominations are out. This article is half as funny as the comments below, which have given me a stomach ache from laughing so hard. NSFW http://www.theguardian.com/books/poll/2014/nov/12/literary-review-bad-sex-award-shortlist-2014?CMP=twt_gu

That's wonderful. I needed a laugh.

[Crankin]

Jeez, these have to be from really bad romance novels! Not too graphic and really bad writing.

[PamNY]

Jeez, these have to be from really bad romance novels! Not too graphic and really bad writing.

I thought the same thing but was wrong.
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/nov/12/bad-sex-award-booker-winner-shortlist-haruki-murakami-kirsty-wark

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Just dropping by to say hi to all the old TD buds. Nice to recognize so many names.
It's been a long time, and I have not been riding much.
Anyway, Hi all! :)

[ny biker]

Just dropping by to say hi to all the old TD buds. Nice to recognize so many names.
It's been a long time, and I have not been riding much.
Anyway, Hi all! :)

Hi! I hope all is well with you.

[salsabike]

Just dropping by to say hi to all the old TD buds. Nice to recognize so many names.
It's been a long time, and I have not been riding much.
Anyway, Hi all! :)

Howdy, girl! Nice to hear from you and wishing you well.

[Owlie]

Just dropping by to say hi to all the old TD buds. Nice to recognize so many names.
It's been a long time, and I have not been riding much.
Anyway, Hi all! :)

Hi! I was wondering about you not long ago. :D

[Catrin]

Just dropping by to say hi to all the old TD buds. Nice to recognize so many names.
It's been a long time, and I have not been riding much.
Anyway, Hi all! :)

Howdy, it is good to "see" you :D

[OakLeaf]

Hey BSG! Welcome back, good to see you! I haven't been riding either ...

[Crankin]

Hey, how are you, Bleeker? I always think about you when I go to the Berkshires.
I still get sale notices from the Arcadian Shop!

[Pax]

Hey BSG!! Long time no see, hope all is well with you.

[cosc]

Bleeker, nice to hear from you. I know we purchased snowshoes about the same time and so far I haven't been able to use mine much. I hope you've been able to enjoy some snowshoeing.

[Trek420]

Howdy, girl! Nice to hear from you and wishing you well.

Bleeker st! :)

[PamNY]

Just dropping by to say hi to all the old TD buds. Nice to recognize so many names.
It's been a long time, and I have not been riding much.
Anyway, Hi all! :)

Nice to hear from you. Hope you are doing well.

[OakLeaf]

Ha!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Thanks for the warm hellos everyone!
Yes I am well, am 60 now... This year my signif other and I finally got officially married after being together for 15 years, so that was kinda cool. Had a lovely wedding and everything, and my older daughter walked me down the aisle. :p
Still playing lots of music at home, still working, still veggiegardening, keeping bees, and of course the usual quota of 3 cats is maintained.
Crankin- we just had breakfast at Ralph's this morning. ;) Though Ralph is really wanting to sell his place and retire.
Hope you all have a nice holiday season! We are pretty cold here in NY right now.... =8-*

[rebeccaC]

Thanks for the warm hellos everyone!


from reading your post and then The Ruby Pages i can see why the warm hellos!!!!

[Crankin]

Congratulations, Lisa! I know getting married is no big deal to some, but it sounds like you had a lovely celebration.
I still have that goofy picture of us at Ralph's. It makes me remember that rather unpleasant ride back to Gt. Barrington, after a delicious lunch.

[OakLeaf]

Congratulations BSG! You sound happy. :)

[Catrin]

Congratulations on the wedding, that is great news!

[crazycanuckoz]

It's like old times round here kids! (I know the wording might be off but i'm taking a mental break from writing uni papers atm..)

I thought it might be nice to give an update on where i've ventured to...I'm still in love with trail running and have embraced my innnerrr weeeeeeeeeeee & feel happy when i'm out there.

I've basically finished my planning degree & only have my two electives left to do starting late nov. I'm impatiently awaiting my dissertation to be marked and my poor supervisor probably grew a few hairs dealing with my fears/tears as I typed.

I have a coolio run adventure next weekend and will tell you more when i finish it :)

We moved from Australia to Oman 2 yrs ago but i was back n forth to aust for uni as online classes drove me nuts.....I'm finally moving moving in 3 1/2 weeks..eeee! The driving is the hardest thing for me..! Great opp to travel to places neither of us have been for running or cycling.

Anywho, i'll venture along again to say howdy.

[shootingstar]

Big hello to Bleekergirl (and congrats. on the wedding occasion!) and crazycanuckoz. CC, you should blog about some of your experiences in Oman...so different. Best of luck for your running.

[Pax]

Hiya CC!

BSG, it looks like it was the year of weddings, congrats!! My honey and I tied the knot as well, feels pretty awesome doesn't it?

[Pax]

Freedom!

I'm having one of those small yet momentous days today. I've had my civil service earliest-possible-retirement date circled on my calendar for the last year. As of last Saturday (I did have to work today to lock in the time) I have my time in to retire. I can walk out the door of this place any time I want to now and they have to pay me my retirement pittance (and it is a pittance, but it's MY pittance) for the rest of my life!!! I feel very free all of a sudden. :D

Our plan is to work until May and then move to our little place in FL while my honey telecommutes for a while... but as of today we can go whenever the hell we want!!!!!

[snapdragen]

Congrat Pax! It's a liberating feeling, isn't it? :D

[Pax]

Congrat Pax! It's a liberating feeling, isn't it? :D

Thanks, it really is! I'm just sitting here at my desk grinning... and partially hoping no one pisses me off today, it's a whole new ballgame. :D

[Blueberry]

Freedom!

Happy dance for you!!! Sometimes things become so much more pleasant when you *know* you can end them *whenever you need to*! Congratulations!!

[Helene2013]

So happy for you Pax. I can't wait to get there...3 or 5 years to go and it seems soooooo far.

[ny biker]

I will never be there. Please enjoy it for me. Congrats!!

[IBrakeforPastry]

Thanks, it really is! I'm just sitting here at my desk grinning... and partially hoping no one pisses me off today, it's a whole new ballgame. :D

Congratulations! I reached my earliest retirement date on Oct 31, and left. I submitted my papers in September (I think) and for the next several weeks, my manager kept looking at me and saying, "She's still smiling". So, keep smiling!

[Pax]

I will never be there. Please enjoy it for me. Congrats!!


Congratulations! I reached my earliest retirement date on Oct 31, and left. I submitted my papers in September (I think) and for the next several weeks, my manager kept looking at me and saying, "She's still smiling". So, keep smiling!

If it was an amount I could live on I'd be gone today, :D but it's very small and will only cover our housing costs on the condo in FL when we move in May. But, hey, I'll take it!!

[Catrin]

Congratulations!

[OakLeaf]

Woot!

[Trek420]

Thanks, it really is! I'm just sitting here at my desk grinning... and partially hoping no one pisses me off today, it's a whole new ballgame. :D

Looking forward to the call where the customer says
"whatcha gonna do about that for me, huh?"
"Hmmm. I quit!" Click release call

[Pax]

Looking forward to the call where the customer says
"whatcha gonna do about that for me, huh?"
"Hmmm. I quit!" Click release call

Absolutely!

[Trek420]

Absolutely!

Ya know I've gotten to see so many reps take that last call. We knew these reps who are retiring the next day so you know that last call of the day, that's it. Invariably just excellent. I do think there was one rep that I could not help just pausing to listen and obviously the customer thanked and complimented him and it was just "I retire tomorrow. After 35 years mam, you are my last call" I don't think I'd just be able to hang up. We can't bring ourselves to.

Call of the day today; grandma got her 11 year old grandson an iPhone 6 :eek: (when I was your age we were happy with crayons). The rep told him, with her on the line, we need to reset it by resetting network settings.

Kid threw it against the wall.

Phone still works and granny gave it back to him. The wall reset would be the end for me.

[snapdragen]

Thanks, it really is! I'm just sitting here at my desk grinning... and partially hoping no one pisses me off today, it's a whole new ballgame. :D

That's how my work life ended. Manager pissed me off for the last time, I walked. It was awesome. She was stunned. :D

[bmccasland]

Making a reappearance.... :o
In the past couple of years, I've had ACL repair (bike crash related), had whooping cough, had two bad wasp stings (with ambulance trips to the ER), sold my Louisiana house, bought a condo, and gained weight. So I've now lost 15 pounds, still don't like riding in rain, but am trying to increase my exercise.

Hi everyone!! I have missed y'all.

[Crankin]

Glad you are back, Beth!
My son had whooping cough in 8th grade, and by the time he was diagnosed, I thought for sure he was dying. I hope you rested well!
It's never too late to come back to cycling.

[lph]

Welcome back! :-D

[Pax]

Welcome back, Beth!

[OakLeaf]

Beth! Heya!

[Pax]

Uuurrpp!

17472

[OakLeaf]

Tell me that isn't real ... (though I guess as a fan of Cel-Ray I shouldn't turn up my nose ...)

[Pax]

Tell me that isn't real ... (though I guess as a fan of Cel-Ray I shouldn't turn up my nose ...)

I searched it and it came up real. *shudder*

[IBrakeforPastry]

Tell me that isn't real ... (though I guess as a fan of Cel-Ray I shouldn't turn up my nose ...)

Yes, but cold Cel-Ray is refreshing (gosh I haven't had that in years!). Cold turkey and gravy? Umm... I'm still thinking. Meat flavored soda...

[Trek420]

Welcome back, Beth!

[SheFly]

Beth - so good to see you back!

SheFly

[salsabike]

Hi, Beth! Any time you want to go on a local ride, let me know. Nice to see you.

[OakLeaf]

Here's something to eat while you drink that turkey pop. Yes, it's made from chickpeas. 17473

[Pax]

Here's something to eat while you drink that turkey pop. Yes, it's made from chickpeas. 17473

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

[Catrin]

Ummm. No.

[bmccasland]

Must come to confession...
Have been thinking about selling my road bike. In the 4 years (!) that I've been here in the Pacific Northwet, I've ridden it only a few times. I have been riding my 3-speed around town in the summer months, for short jaunts.

Although in my flood watch patrol (one of those "other duties as assigned") I've seen parts of a lovely rails-to-trails path along the Puyallup River that I've been tempted to see where it goes - during daylight non-flooding hours.

Maybe sell both bikes and get a hybrid??? :o



Turkey beer and pumpking hummus look nasty.

[ny biker]

Some would say to keep both and buy a third (hybrid). I say, get a bike you'll enjoy riding, let the others go to someone who (hopefully) will enjoy them -- if you think they will just collect dust if you keep them.

[Crankin]

Well, I would agree; buy a nice hybrid, but don't sell your road bike yet. Give it some more time and just enjoy riding whatever bike you want to.
I say this, as despite the fact I have 2 very nice road bikes (one a little more touring oriented), I wish I had not sold my Jamis Coda, which was essentially a hybrid. That bike gave me so much joy as I rode it around town to do errands or go to farm stands. Having choice is a good thing.

[Pax]

Beth - I'm dealing with yet another knee injury, I'm planning to buy an Electra Townie in a couple of weeks, just so I can ride something! I'll keep the 7.4 until I find out if I can ever (want to) ride it again.

[shootingstar]

Buy a hybrid , keep 1 road bike a bit longer.

The point is to encourage yourself to bicycle more frequently.

[NbyNW]

Happy Holidays everyone!

I haven't been around much as life has gotten in the way of cycling. Maybe 2015 will be the year I get back into it.

Peace and joy to all of you---

[ny biker]

Happy Holidays everyone!

I haven't been around much as life has gotten in the way of cycling. Maybe 2015 will be the year I get back into it.

Peace and joy to all of you---

And to you, too.

[Crankin]

Sitting here bored. What is wrong with me??? It's pouring rain out, DH is at a week long meeting, and the rest of the world around me is obsessed with the football play-off. I already exercised, so not much else left to do, except go grocery shopping and maybe drop some cash at the Loft.
I am so used to filling up weekend days with hours of riding or x country skiing, it's really hard for me to not have "plans." I am avoiding doing some work, which is not really at the critical point for having to get done.

[Catrin]

I hear you Crankin, I an much the same way. This probably feeds into my overuse injury rate. As my hands are hurting too much for needlework I am broadening my reading topics for down time.

I was at Trader Joe's today and had a major problem getting the seal off a can of coffee so I could grind it. It was very obvious, and very painful. I noticed someone watching me, I hadn't realized it was so obvious. So very painful afterwards. As aggravating as all this is, it makes me think of those worse off than me. Even with the severe joint space restriction, the radiology report said my thumb/wrist/hand osteoarthritis is moderate. If this is moderate, I really feel for those with severe!

[Crankin]

I know this is a first world problem, but I've been feeling more isolated lately. I am in the process of changing my work schedule, which will not take place until the school year is over. My original intention was to work M, T, Th. But, there was no office space available for me on TH when I started, so the director asked me to go to Hudson HS, where we have a contract to provide services. I said yes, as it's my old district, I know the culture, etc. Not my old school. It took awhile to get my CORI check done for the district, so in the interim, I added a few clients on Friday morning. So, I am working more than I want, even though Thursday and Friday are half days, they often are busier with clients than my long days on M and T. Friday mornings are nice,a s most therapists don't work on Friday, and it is quiet. But I want to work 3 full days... not 4, with 2 half days, and I am resenting having to be at the HS at 7:30 AM! I get up early enough, but I have to rush out of here to get there for my first client. After 30+ years of that schedule, I don't like it, now that I can get up early, go to the gym or ride, and then not have to work until 9 or 10. What does this have to do with being bored? For me, it's a fine line between being too involved with my job and being so bored that i start obsessing on stuff that is not healthy. This is what happened when i stopped teaching. I really don't have any interests except the sports stuff I do, other than reading and theatre. I did my share of volunteering, and I came to feel that it's slave labor. It started to feel like work! So, by working 3 days a week, I won't be so work obsessed, because I worry that the same thing will happen to me when I cut down even more, like in 5 or so years. I feel like I need to make new friends. Except for the couple we do everything with, none of my other friends are as involved in outdoor stuff and are very sedentary. One of them, though, does ride and do Cross Fit, but she has a second home and is gone for most of the summer. She also is busier than I am, despite the fact she hasn't worked in a few years. I ride and hike with her, despite the fact she's slower than me, and a bit opinionated!
I used to be friendly with people I work with, but I don't do that anymore. There is one woman from my old school, that I still see, a couple of times a year. She's busy with work and has a 6th grader at home, so, she's not so available. On and off I have seen a few people from TE, for riding, but that seems to have calmed down. I've also cut all ties with the family I have here (cousins and an aunt), because I couldn't take their constant preaching at me, with their political views, which are radically opposite from mine.
I could increase my volunteering with AMC, which I do like, but most of that I do with DH, but not all.
I am rambling here, but, yes, there are always people worse off. I feel very lucky to live the life I have, but I have always been extremely social and something feels off.

[Catrin]

I know this is a first world problem, but I've been feeling more isolated lately...I am rambling here, but, yes, there are always people worse off. I feel very lucky to live the life I have, but I have always been extremely social and something feels off.

I am noticing the same myself and I've never been what you would call extremely social - I've been pondering this and from my observations it seems a more common trend. Unsure if it is because our society is so youth-centric or if the assumptions that people above a certain age are placed into rigid "holes" regarding our interests and activities. While I do have new friendly acquaintances my age that may become friends over time, I've noticed they aren't interested in physical/athletic activities at all. Those who do read, another of my interests, read very different things than I and don't seem to be interested in broadening their reading horizons. I find that I am interacting more with younger folk as I can't seem to find friends in my own age group locally who have similar interests. I am also 55 with no partner, children, grandchildren, etc - and this seems to be unusual in my circles. I am not holding my breath for holding for that first one to change (though it would be nice). So I get on with those things that I am interested in and am thankful for all that I DO have.

Perhaps things might change as more and more of the +50 crowd are Boomers, or not. Our rather large generation is now entirely over 50, so it will be interesting to see how things develop.

[Blueberry]

I wonder if this isn't entirely age group specific. I'm in my mid-30's and in a very not-mid-30's life stage, but I too have been feeling a bit isolated lately. Since I'm stating professional school in August, I don't fit in with either my classmates (who are in their low-mid 20's) or my peers (who are having kids, and generally not interested in other things - or don't have time for them). Of my remaining friends, some are willing to bike/walk/hike, but most are much more interested in going to dinner at a fancy restaurant and then an expensive show (nothing wrong with that, but I'm trying to budget - and they sometimes aren't receptive to gently offered alternatives). I have also become a bit more cognizant of which friends are actually friends, and which find me (the lawyer) and DH (the tech guy) handy when something breaks and otherwise can't be bothered to respond. As I've been cleaning the junk out of my life, I have also been working on cleaning out the friendships that aren't really. Sad, but true.

I know that soon I'll be too busy to worry about it, so I'm focusing on getting my house (literal and figurative) in order. It's not bothering me - but it is something I had noticed.

[Helene2013]

I'm sort of in the same boat as some of you. We (hubby and I) work full time, have a big home/yard and all that comes with it to take care of, and 6 pets that need our attention/care. Weekends are going by so fast that I barely have time to breathe. No kids and in our early 50s.

So we have to make choices in order to keep our sanity and one of them, unfortunately was dropping off friends. Not that we did it on purpose, it just happened gradually. We do have dinner once in a while with those we cherished but that is about it. They don't share the same activities or goals as we do and that is ok. Makes more interesting discussions, or not. hihi They could say the same from us right! hihi

We don't really have immediate family left (parents are all dead) and what we have left is no interest to us. Why bother. Complicated story.

So hubby and I do our stuff together and truly have fun doing it (when we are not arguing that is. hahaha). And that is great. We're a great team. I don't need to see someone anyway every weekend, or even during weeknights. We're in bed early as we get up at 4:15am. So no real time for social life.

What we have as friends, none are really into the same things as we are, nor have same budget, not even same schedules. So it is not always easy to align stuff to do together.

Sure I get bored some times. But not often. And if I do, nothing a Visa or Mastercard cannot solve. haha

[Becky]

Glad to hear that it's not just me. DH and I don't have kids, and I just started a very non-traditional job that has me working some unpredictable hours and with certain limitations when I'm on-call. As a result, I'm forced to say no to a lot of the social opportunities that my friends suggest, including riding. I'm not sure how to keep some of these relationships alive, or if I even should.

[Crankin]

Well, I guess I must have a very high need to be social. I was the popular girl in middle and high school, even when I had to move in gr. 10, I found friends in my new home, although I was not in the same kind of social group. It sounds silly for a 60 something to be talking about this, but "having plans" is part of my life. We are so lucky we found our "cycling" couple friends when we did. They have no children and ours were already out of the home when we met them, 10 years ago. But, the thing is, we socialized heavily even when our kids were little. We had a babysitter almost every Saturday night. My mother was right... your spouse is there after the kids leave, so develop hobbies together. She told me this right before she died, about 5 years before we started riding together. I cannot imagine a life without friends. I think what is bringing this home, is that out of my 3 other friends we socialize with, 2 of the couples are experiencing issues related with aging that I kind of have no tolerance for. One has nothing to do with her own health (this is the friend that I've been gradually pulling away from for years, I've talked about her before), but rather a situation with her parents who are in Florida. She has already been down there for 2 weeks last month and now is gone for a month. It's a situation where she and her siblings have let their parents bully them and don't listen, and now they are incapacitated. And, my friend is doing the lion share of the care taking, because, frankly, her siblings have more of a "life," and she won't stand up to them, to make it fair. My friend's husband is gone for business 4 days a week, always has been, so I guess she doesn't care. The other couple, whom we are more compatible with in terms of some stuff, are both extremely overweight. He's huge, had a stent put in years ago and did not follow any other medical advice. Now he has prostate cancer and when he had exploratory surgery, they could barely get him out of the anesthesia. So, he had a sleep study and he has sleep apnea, which is not good for upcoming prostate surgery. She constantly complains to me about her weight, but she hates moving and sweating, and has some really unusual ideas about food. Three weeks ago, she tripped and fell down the stairs, separating her shoulder. I listen and can tolerate it better than the other one, but it's making it feel like there is not much for us to base our friendship on. Like you, Catrin, I feel younger than most people my age. Some, I think is from years of being around teens, and the rest is attitude and lifestyle. Sure, I have my "things," but I don't dwell on them or constantly talk about them.
And like Blueberry, I don't think this is age group specific. It happens when you are different than the majority.
I guess I'll be hanging out more with my bike group associates, but after 10 years, no real friendships have developed there. They are friendly, but it seems like some of them have been friends for 20-30 years. And, it seems like the men are friendlier than the women. Well, I guess this can be a goal of mine this year.

[shootingstar]

My goal continues to be to improve after my head injury/concussion (concussion=head injury). This injury has made me realize:
*How lucky I am to have at least 1 close friend locally who understand my cycling interest, but who I've known well enough for past few years in our friendship that we have other common interests. I am extremely lucky to have this local friend plus my partner who have each experienced a concussion and understand what I am going through for recovery.

*How "hidden" a head injury can be as a temporary disability. I don't look visibly disabled nor elderly/fragile that I don't look as if I need someone else's help beside me. But I do occasionally. I also had to insist on wheelchair assistance when I got off the airplane gangplank almost 2 wks. ago, to get to the baggage claim which was a long walk I didn't want to navigate with lots of people milling around.

*How isolating a "hidden" temporary disability can be for someone who "looks" fit, doesn't look old (even if 55) and healthy otherwise. And how easily misunderstood such a disability can be.

*How glad I am to have other long term passions outside of a physical activity/cycling. But still how reliant I am on being "fit" to read on computer screen ....which I can't spend much time right now. So even these non-sport passions, if taken away from me completely/forever, how confined I would feel.

*How much work our brain engages every day in order for us to function. We rely on our brain to move all our limbs, turn our head, understand everything that we see, our brain processes a lot of information in a coordinated way during our waking moments when we move around or even just to sit up. That's why yesterday, I got suddenly tired after seeing a friend (someone for the lst time within in the last 3 wks. outside of my partner, doctor) after she had dinner in our home for a few hrs. I was tired and we only had dinner and pleasant conversation!! This is someone who I wanted to see, not avoid.

*How important it is to be healthy and reasonably fit for life....because when something traumatic happens, like an injury..you can help yourself abit more easily in recovery. Your recovery will be a bit easier on yourself. ie. I just go for a short walk outdoors everyday with dearie, so my brain gets used to seeing different stuff and re-establish my balance. It's more about building brain stamina/recovery, not because I lack physical fitness to walk. Imagine if prior to the accident, I already had other medical problems with walking or other pre-existing medical condition that affected my mobility/balance.

*I wish I had more close friends locally. But there's nothing right now I can do about it except rest to get better. All my closest friends and other family members are in a different province. But at least I am comforted by the knowledge that family members contact me to check on my progress and receive real medical advice from my sister-doctor which I can cross-check (mentally) with my attending local doctor.

[Crankin]

Well, I guess I'd be screwed if I had a concussion, because if I had to lie around and rest, I'd go nuts, especially if I couldn't read. Oh, I'd have plenty of people who would offer to help, like the ones I spoke about, it's just they all seem to actually "want" to rush to these kinds of situations and help, which creeps me out. Then there's the committee from my synagogue who help those in need. Frankly, I'd rather die than have them come into my home. I didn't allow them to come to my mom's memorial observance, because it just felt so awkward. They are not my friends. And no one there even knows my dad died last summer. The best example I can give is after my mom died ( a few weeks had passed), I had a call from a woman who was one of my younger son's religious school teachers at some point. She felt the need to call me and help me "deal with my feelings," because her mom had also died in the past year. At first, I appreciated the call, as a nicety from someone I had a very tangential relationship with. Then, she would not get off of the phone. She barely knew me, let alone my mom, who lived in another state. I had a few calls like that, and I just felt totally like, "Why the hell are you calling me?" I know i deal with death, illness, and other bad things very pragmatically, plow on through, and I do not get sad very often, but it works for me. I am not unfeeling, and my mom was too young to die, but she had been sick for years and I knew it would happen. This might seem opposite of my comments of wanting more friends, but I find that the older I get, the more people just are talking about this stuff way too much. I think I am just very private about this stuff and I know people misinterpret it.
Shooting Star, you are lucky to have your partner there and a sister who can give you medical advice. I have a friend in AZ, who did that for me a few years ago, when I had all of my mystery medical stuff. A few phone calls to her made me feel better.

[NbyNW]

Sending healing thoughts to you, Shootingstar.

DS and I are moving back to Seattle sometime in March/April. DH has told me he wants out of our marriage. While I'm not yet emotionally ready to accept this, my brain knows that it's time to lawyer up. If anyone in Seattle knows a good family practice lawyer, please send me a PM.

[Catrin]

Shootingstar, take care and glad to hear that you are starting to feel a little better. SO glad your concussion wasn't any worse!

NbyNW, sending you warm hugs and peaceful thoughts in this difficult time.

[salsabike]

Sending healing thoughts to you, Shootingstar.

DS and I are moving back to Seattle sometime in March/April. DH has told me he wants out of our marriage. While I'm not yet emotionally ready to accept this, my brain knows that it's time to lawyer up. If anyone in Seattle knows a good family practice lawyer, please send me a PM.

NbyNW, I am sorry. But I will be glad to see you and I think I can give you some names; will PM soon.

Shootingstar, I am sending you my heartfelt best.

[shootingstar]

Progressing slower than thought..but getting there. Been doin' lots of thinking. Crankin: You may underestimate yourself if such a situation happens.

NBYNW- I am sorry for such a tough situation and journey ahead. You've given alot of yourself in Edmonton, UK and for DS. May you have good help and support in Seattle, etc.

[emily_in_nc]

Re. friendships, boredom, etc....I could relate to a lot of what several different folks have said above.

Although I'm not very social, being an introvert with some social anxiety, I was used to a certain amount of social interaction from working in a close-knit group setting for decades. There was always someone to talk to and to be friends with even with I didn't always have a "best friend" at work, due to people coming and going. And when I got home at night I had DH, and bike club friends over the weekend. We didn't do a lot of nighttime get-togethers with others, but we met people we were friendly at rides, and that filled all our social needs.

When I retired and moved to Belize one week later, we had lots and lots of socializing -- everyone is outside and connected on Facebook when not out and about, so we did lots of socializing. Living on a small island is like living in a small town, we eventually knew people everywhere we went, and it was hard to even take a walk without having to stop numerous times for a chat.

That got old for a couple of introverts. We found ourselves having to "hide" from and and avoid people at times, going the back way just to avoid being seen, or take trips to the mainland where we could anonymous again.

Now, we've come full circle. Everywhere we travel, whether in the US, or now, in Mexico, we're anonymous again. We have friends all over the place, but none right where we are. We're like an island. And it's been this way basically since we came back from Belize in 2013. We've met up with friends in all kinds of far-flung locations as well as in our home state of NC, but most of the time we're traveling, it's just us.

And yes, we get bored and lonely. It's really strange here especially to think how few people we know. The property manager is about it, at least of English-speaking folks.

I'm glad we aren't Extroverts; we'd be going bonkers. Sometimes we really like being away from the social pressures as we hate entertaining, but it is kinda sad not having ANY friends. We hear people having dinner parties and laughing in all the houses around us (everyone hangs out and eats outside), and we feel isolated at those times. It doesn't seem to bother my DH at all, but it does bother me from time to time.

We have lots of activities and interests to keep us busy most of the time, but it's still strange not having any friends other than DH.

[Crankin]

Emily, what you described is the reason DH and I made the decision a long time ago to stay put when we retire. Besides the fact we love the environment here, I know that when I get really old and maybe a little less active, I will want to be near familiar things/people. We decided we'd rather travel a little, but always come home. I've considered maybe going to AZ for a couple of weeks to a month in the winter, but for us, that comes with some ready made friends. But, we wouldn't buy a place there.
I guess I never realized what an extrovert I am. I love entertaining and socializing, so when the people in my bike group are "friendly," but no friendships developed, it makes me feel, like "what's wrong with me?" I also think that living in AZ kind of ruined me for this aspect of life, when I came back to Massachusetts. In AZ, there's always new people and you always make overt social invitations to include them, invite them over for dinner, etc. People here have more family around and seemed consumed with that. They also are not so outgoing/friendly. I know I can be like that, in that I am picky about who I want for real friends, but I'll talk to anyone. DH is extremely extroverted, but doesn't seem to be as bothered by this as me, although we both agree, we'd like to make more friends who live the same lifestyle as us. I really do worry that I spend so much time just with DH.

[Jolt]

Well, I guess I'd be screwed if I had a concussion, because if I had to lie around and rest, I'd go nuts, especially if I couldn't read.

I'm with you on that--I too would go stir crazy if I was forced to lie around for very long, for any reason, and yes, it would be worse not being able to even read! One of my friends had a really difficult pregnancy and was on bed rest for several months and I don't know how she managed not to end up in the loony bin. I think she did a fair amount of reading so that probably helped.

[lph]

I'll just quickly add that if you actually have a concussion, chances are you will be quite happy to just lie around and do nothing, at least for the first week or so. It can be a quite serious condition, and lets you know. I vividly remember my dh getting a concussion and being ordered on a weeks bedrest, no reading, no tv. I thought he'd go insane, but when I got home he was quietly lying on the sofa and had been there all day, happily doing nothing at all while time flew. I had the same experience a few weeks ago.

[Catrin]

Yes, I was thinking about having to stay home and rest...and not even be able to read! My heart goes out to you.

As far as friendships are concerned, it seems that it is most common, in Indiana at least, for friendships to develop out of family and work relationships. I've decided it to be a good thing that I am an introvert, it doesn't help that I am also a bit socially awkward though I can talk with anyone. I look for ways to get involved and interact with people who have similar interests, but that is difficult to find. I don't think my interests are that arcane, but people are just so busy!

[Crankin]

Jolt, I had to stay at home (not complete bedrest, but almost) for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy with DS #2. It did make me crazy. So crazy, I threw a plate down on the kitchen floor in frustration and when my 2 years saw that and started crying in fear, my DH called my mom and told her she needed to get on a plane and help!

[Pax]

We are experiencing in FL the same thing Emily did in Belize, LOADS of people to chat with, hang out, go for a drink, etc. Excellent for me (the extrovert) but at times challenging for my introvert honey. She copes by excusing herself and going away, we're both okay with that so I think it will end up being a great place to retire.

[Helene2013]

Maybe if we had more time on our hands we'd make friends easier, at least be easier to keep a friendship relationship alive and kicking.

We are not anti-social. On the contrary. But lack of time gets the best of us.

Funny though is that when we travel across Canada and USA for our dogs (yes...our dogs!), we have so many good people (we call friends) that we met over the past 10 years and we kept in touch by almost daily discussions at some point, like this board. We are closer to them, then most people I know right in my home-area.

Over the years we have been invited to spend a day or a meal at their houses we'd be treated like king and queen, dogs had gifts. Some of them we still visit on a regular basis (like one in Nashville). We are planning this coming summer to head to Minnesota to do some road cycling (mostly hubby with friend) and dog activities like agility (mostly me with friend's wife. haha) with some of them. It is so much fun to be reunited with all those people. But it can only be done during our summer vacation. I cannot go to California on a weekly thing, nor Nashville, or Ohio, etc.

Once we retire (should be 5 years but with laws and contracts changing it can be pushed - bummer), it is a guaranteed thing that we are moving out of the province, probably try being a full-timer in a motorhome. We'd be 5 months somewhere in Canada and then 7 months in a warmer climate in the USA so we can enjoy cycling and doing different things. If I want snow, I can always head up north a bit and find it for a week and be contended before returning to a more 18c day temperature (I hate big heat!).

Time will tell where all that will be. I don't need right now a close-knit group of friends right by me 24/7. Maybe as we get older we may feel the need to have a more reliable and stable group of people around us. For now, I'm ok with what I have. But it can get "lonely" or stange when people are partying for instance during the xmas time and you're home alone with hubby. Or when you are off and could visit with friends, they are working or busy themselves! But it is the life we chose and I'm ok with this.

[Catrin]

My 89 year old grandmother (step) passed during the night and I will drive down to TN on Thursday, unless they move faster than I think. It will be a hard visit for more than one reason, but a necessary one.

[Crankin]

I am sorry, Catrin. It sounds like the visit will be worse than the death.
Families...

[rocknrollgirl]

I am reading through this thread and the friendship thing strikes a chord, and obviously that are a number of us that are feeling the same way and experiencing the same thing. I have been mulling it over for a day or two and I think the only reasonable thing to do is form our own society, where we can be friends, real friends, but stay introverts. It is the only sensible answer:)

Just kidding. I wish it did not hit so close to home but it does. We are friendly at work, have biking friends and two really close couples. One lives 7 hours away and the other has 3 teens. So basically, it is just us. Not too many people our age that our as active as we are. Bit of a bummer. We are planning early retirement in 2 years, I sure hope we finds some friends to play with. Oh and as a point of interest, it does not bother my hubs much either. Bothers me a lot more.

And not to be gun shy, but the last really close friend I had just stopped talking to me out of the blue a year ago. No explanation, just dropped me. I tried to talk to her, emailed, nothing. It stung pretty badly and made me feel even more isolated. Took a long time to realize that it was not me and the issue is hers.

[emily_in_nc]

Crankin, one thought I had about your bike club folks who are friendly but not actively seeking socializing outside of the club rides, etc. is that there seem to be a lot of folks around like DH and me -- introverts who are very friendly during rides but who get most our social needs met that way and then don't feel the need for more socializing in the evening or off the bike. I think a lot of introverts are drawn to cycling, as it's an individual sport rather than a team sport, and especially those who love to ride alone and get lost in their thoughts are introverts, more often than not.

So in all likelihood, it's not you, it's them.

I wish I loved to have people over and to entertain. To me it's about on par with a dental visit, I kid you not!

[Helene2013]

Emily,
Love your last sentence. Lol

So much like hubby and I. Stress before guests are here then stress when they are gone to clean up. Too much cooking, cleaning, getting the dogs to behave, etc. So we opt out lol and we end up meeting them at restaurant.

I like to meet people but once I'm done with x activity I just want to chill quietly at home.

[rocknrollgirl]

Emily and Helen, I agree 100%. My husband would have folks every weekend. I would rather have root canal. The entire ordeal makes me tired thinking about it. I am the same way. Better off at a restaurant because when I am done socializing I am done. Tough to do when they are in your kitchen!

I am way better if we are going to have company, if we just have over one or two friends.

[Jolt]

Jolt, I had to stay at home (not complete bedrest, but almost) for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy with DS #2. It did make me crazy. So crazy, I threw a plate down on the kitchen floor in frustration and when my 2 years saw that and started crying in fear, my DH called my mom and told her she needed to get on a plane and help!

I'm picturing this scene...seems like the kind of thing that might happen if I were in that situation as well! (I'm sure having a two-year-old in the mix didn't make it any easier.)

[Crankin]

As soon as that plate smashed on the kitchen floor and Josh started screaming and clinging to my leg, I had a vision of what kids become when they see violence all the time! I've only done something like that one other time, but no one witnessed it. He doesn't remember it, even though he does remember little bits here and there of that time, especially staying at our friends the day I went to the hospital to actually deliver. The worst part of those six weeks was the fact that we lived behind the field of an elementary/middle school. Although they built another street of houses behind us right after that, at the time I was on house arrest there was a bit of desert, and then the school. I used to sit on a rocking chair on my patio and all I could hear were the voices of kids playing, the school PA, and teachers talking to their kids. I missed my students so much, it was like torture. My mom was taking care of Josh, all I could do was read and have visits from my friends, most of whom did not work. A few of my colleagues came to see me, too. I can't imagine how it would have been, if I had actually had to stay in bed. The only thing i looked forward to were my weekly trips to the OB's office!
When I talk about having friends over, it's not large scale entertaining! Having one couple over for dinner is not really any more work than we do for ourselves. We used to have a couple of parties a year, back in AZ, but now, that only happens for special occasions, and most of the time it's pot luck, or catered. Usually, when we socialize, we are going out to a restaurant.
We often do go out after long bike rides, but that's after a couple of hours of rest and relaxation, especially on nice summer weekends, or if we're traveling locally with our friends. I guess it comes down to the fact that I love food/cooking/dining out as much as riding, so that is as much a part of my life as the riding.
Emily, you might be right about some of the people in my bike group being introverts, but they do not seem it. They are very busy doing things, seem to socialize/go out a lot. I feel like there's some kind of code I haven't broken. A lot of them live in or closer to the city, so maybe it's that their lifestyle is a bit different. They are coming out to ride in my area. While there are a number of us that live around here, it does feel different.

[VeganBikeChick]

Hugs to everyone feeling isolated. Add me to the group! :)

I work weekends, overnight (Fri-Sun), and Mon-Thurs are spent doing my online coursework for grad school. I literally have no interaction besides work, and even there it's hard to "make friends" as everyone has their own lives going on. I'm viewed as an outcast, being in my late 30's with no spouse or kids. I feel like it's very hard to relate to others my age because I don't fit the "mold". I moved here for the weather/environment and haven't been able to meet a single soul. I'm pretty introverted as well, and find when I try to socialize, at the end of the night I just want to melt into a puddle a la the Wicked Witch. I've tried meetup groups, but in my limited exposure, it seems as if the groups I've joined attract the dregs of society. I miss my church from the NW, but can't attend church here as services are Sunday AM, when I'm asleep after having worked all night. I really need some community outreach and don't know where to turn. I fear if things continue as they are, I'm going to end up a very lonely, miserable person. Not at all what I want.

[emily_in_nc]

Emily and Helen, I agree 100%. My husband would have folks every weekend. I would rather have root canal. The entire ordeal makes me tired thinking about it. I am the same way. Better off at a restaurant because when I am done socializing I am done. Tough to do when they are in your kitchen!

I am way better if we are going to have company, if we just have over one or two friends.

Ditto. In fact, we have not had a "party" in years unless you count family. If friends, it's only a couple. But mostly now we just meet people at restaurants. I get way too stressed with having everything perfect -- food, house, drink, etc -- when it is in my own space. I think a lot of it is just practice. The more you entertain, the better you get at it. Kinda like with public speaking -- another activity I put on par with dental visits! :D

[shootingstar]

I relate to both TE forumites who are part of a couple and those who live alone 'cause:

we maintain 2 homes in 2 provinces. My partner isn't always living in the same city where I work full-time. We spend time together in each home city location for chunks of the year which gets compounded by my limited vacation time due to a full-time job. Hence, my motivation to form more deeper friendships in my job-oriented city is less. After working for several employers in my career, my incentive to create personal friendships via other employees, dropped off a long time ago. The only local good friend is someone who works for the same employer but she is in a totally different dept. where our work roles would never cross. (Thank goodness!) Instead she and I met initially...in the employee collective bike cage. A friendship can begin in a collective bike cage, not during a bike ride. :p

As a couple for last 24 yrs., dearie and I just haven't joined up group rides often each year. We seem to go on one...um...1-2 times per year, if that. He and I are friendly introverts. He is well-known in the Vancouver area cycling advocacy circles and has many cycling advocacy contacts in the city and across British Columbia. But strangely, he very rarely goes cycling with these folks on his own personal trips and seldom goes out strictly just for a personal coffee/drink with such friends if there isn't some cycling matter he wants to chat up. Personally I find it abit odd, but I love dearie for being a friendly outlier. :)

I'm the one that still maintains some contact with long-time friends across Canada...even if they can't be immediately in the same city to help me. He is not like that all. But he is entirely content with this. Literally a friendly hermit but saves his personal "socializing" time for myself, his children and grandchildren.

But true, how helpful it is to have a local trustworthy friend when one is grieving, sick or injured.

[OakLeaf]

Lots here. Hugs to everyone. NbyNW, that's tough. Best wishes on the transition. Catrin, hugs to you too. Shootingstar, glad you're taking the time you need to mend.

Emily, you nailed it with me. I've heard it described before that some people gain energy from being with others, where other people have to spend it. I'm a spender for sure. When I got hurt and had to cut way back on riding, it was a major hit to my social life, but I really wasn't interested in "finding" something else to substitute. So I got even more isolated, which is one of the dysfunctional strategies I use to manage my life, and that's not good. Thank goodness for yoga.

My bike club started a slow ride and I'm actually planning on trying to ride with them in the morning. I'm a little apprehensive, both because I haven't been on the road bike for a year and a half, and because of the ride leader. During my "down time" one of the faster riders married her. I haven't met her face to face yet, but she friended me on Facebook and within two months was posting racist bile on my page. I unfriended her right away needless to say. There are people I know and like who usually do this ride too, but it's just kind of weird for me.


Oh PS I got a new motorcycle :D :D :D

[Pax]

*ears perking up*

New motorcycle?? Details please. :D

[Crankin]

Oak, that racist thing would do it for me... but if it's a ride where the pace is right and the others are OK, well, I would try. I went on a group ride last fall with a leader that's known for being "strange." It started in a nearby town, so I said, "why not?" Well, he was more than weird. This is a guy who got punched by a cyclist from another club, because he was riding erratically on a group ride through Concord Center last year. And, he's mean. So, we were kinda in the middle of nowhere, near the NH border and my GPS beeped to turn. He went straight. A few minutes later he says, we're lost! Like, OK, why didn't you turn according to the route you made up! To make a long story short, the temp was dropping, rain was threatening, and yours truly led the group back to a town where we could eat lunch and was about 5 miles from the start. It's too bad, because the other riders were nice, but I was so pissed at him, and focusing on taking responsibility for the group, I didn't talk too much.
I didn't realize how many people feel like socializing is expending energy and dread it. I guess I need to find some more extroverts like me. I do enjoy my quiet time, but not too much! I think I am so "on" at my job, that I crave good, fun social interaction with like minded people. Funny, all of the people I've met from TE seem quite out going to me.
Glad you are hanging in there, ShootingStar.

[lph]

I didn't realize how many people feel like socializing is expending energy and dread it. I guess I need to find some more extroverts like me. I do enjoy my quiet time, but not too much! I think I am so "on" at my job, that I crave good, fun social interaction with like minded people. Funny, all of the people I've met from TE seem quite out going to me.
Glad you are hanging in there, ShootingStar.

I think that's actually pretty much the definition of an introvert, someone who finds that socializing drains energy rather than giving energy.

But it's quite possible to be both outgoing and introverted, I am. I'm very social and chatty at work and in most situations, but socializing is an effort, especially at home in the evenings. It's sort of like exercise - I like it, I look forward to it, I can even feel quite "high" immediately afterwards, but boy, do I need to rest in the end. It even extends to close family, I could happily be alone at home for a week before I started to feel lonely. I try to socialize by culturing friendships at work, keeping up on Facebook and doing physical activities with people, as that keeps my home time free :-)On the other hand, my dh is very quiet and subdued in his interactions with people, but has a much higher tolerance for entertaining at home, for example.

I think the introvert/extrovert thing can be worth discussing with close friends and family, to keep from hurting peoples feelings.

[rocknrollgirl]

I had an entire class of introverts last year. We used to joke that we had found "our people". I am actually very outgoing and will talk to anybody. My DH jokes that I am famous for picking people up at trailheads. Most of our close friends I met while chatting it up in a parking lot before our after an activity.

Anyway, I used to think I was socially awkward despite my outgoing nature. I can sit and talk to a friend for hours, but a cocktail party at work. Forget it. I am lost. So I made a comment about being socially awkward in class and this brilliant young woman looked at me and said. Introverted, not awkward. She defined introverts as someone that recharges their battery by having quiet time and someone that is an extrovert recharges by being social.

Nailed it. That is me. I think part of my need for quiet at home stems from two things. One, growing up in a very dysfunctional household , and teaching high school. When I come home, and one the weekends, I need quiet down time. Fortunately I married a man that respects that and gets it. After we get back from riding and papers are graded, I love to curl up on the corner of the couch and read for an hour or two. Recharge complete.

So I told my class of brilliant introverts, marry well if you marry. Find someone that gets it. I also told them when they went off to college this year to at least make an attempt to interact with the other humans!!! I was a great class to teach, so a fun group.

What has worked for me with company and travel with friends and family is to always make sure I have a place to retreat to. We are in the process of planning a mt biking weekend with our riding friends. renting a house. So as long as the house has enough space, and DH and I have a room of our own I can retreat to, I will be fine.

[OakLeaf]

It's sort of like exercise - I like it, I look forward to it, I can even feel quite "high" immediately afterwards, but boy, do I need to rest in the end.... I think the introvert/extrovert thing can be worth discussing with close friends and family, to keep from hurting peoples feelings.

Yes and yes! And yes, RnRgirl, I definitely need to be able to retreat. Going out for a run helps a lot, but being able to close a door is super important to me too.


I got out on the club ride this morning, did around 29 at a nice relaxed pace by the time I rode to the start and back. It felt good, it was nice to ride with people, it didn't really feel like I'd been away at all. So my scientific investigation has determined that the amount of time it takes to forget how to ride a bicycle is less than ten years but greater than 14 months. :D (Well not really, I had been riding the commuter all this winter and last.)


Pax, the new moto is a little Kawasaki EX300 and so far I am really loving it. I've been downsizing lately, I'm kind of over bikes that are too big and too fast. :p It's actually not all that light (spec is like 385 wet), being liquid cooled, steel frame, etc., but it's low and narrow, much lower center of gravity than inline four 600s, has plenty of motor for passing on two-lanes when I need it, and it fits. like. a. dream. I've never had a moto that fit this well and I just couldn't be happier with it.

Picking it up from the dealer was kind of an adventure in itself. :D DH had gone out of town and needed to stay an extra day, I didn't have another ride, and I did NOT want to wait another day or two to get my bike. So I packed up all my moto gear on the commuter bici (pants and back protector in one saddlebag, jacket and gloves in the other, one boot sticking out of each and helmet cargo-netted on top :D ), rode that four miles to the bus stop, locked it up, consolidated all the gear except for the helmet in a huge drawstring bag, spent the next hour and a half on buses to the dealership, picked up the moto, rode it home, parked it in the garage, got my running gear on, ran to where I'd parked the bici and rode that home. Four modes of transport (five if you count running and walking separately) and not one of them a car. :D

[Pax]

That cracked me up Oak!! And sweet new ride, love those lighter weight bikes.

[Crankin]

Glad your ride went well, Oak. I hate to see people give up on cycling, even if it's their secondary sport!
Leaving tomorrow afternoon for Franconia, NH and 2 days of cross country skiing. So excited!!!!

[thekarens]

Wow! You really wanted that bike :)

[Helene2013]

Crankin
Love the Franconia area. Such a beautiful place. Visited mostly during fall camping.

[Crankin]

I've never been there in the fall, but mostly in the winter, a couple of times in summer. Probably will be x country skiing at Bretton Woods, they seem to be able to groom the trails well, even in low snow conditions. I like it up there, too, but it took me many years to get over NH's horrible politics and actually spend my $ there. I know, silly, but there is something wrong with a state that doesn't have free mandatory kindergarten! I prefer Vermont.
It's going to snow at home while we're gone. We will be coming home to a mess to clean up. We have a guy that plows our access driveway, but not in front of the house. I foresee several trips of carrying my gear down the hill because DH will not drive on the snow before he blows it.

[Helene2013]

Since I don't know much about "deeper" politics, I am a fan of VT, NH and MA. Grass is always greener on the other side. hihi We are so close to any of those States that this is where we spend most of our vacation. We have booked (last July) for Boston area this coming July (for a month) but are thinking cancelling and visiting Canada this time. Our exchange rate is nearing 30% (with credit card fee). That is a lot of "wasted" money. Also the gas has never been this low for us (now is just under $1/liter = nearing 4$gallon US for you). So cheaper gas for us, and higher exchange rate may be time to visit our own country. But nothing interests us in QC, so we are left with Ontario. Most places we know so we'd have to head west and no fan of flat prairies.

I think we will see a lot of USA plates in QC/Ontario this summer too....and USA will see less of those Canadian ones. Bummer. :( Good for Canada economy but bad for my own trips. hihi

Enjoy the shoveling on your return home. Our weather is sunny and warmer thant what we had laterly so far until Wed. We'll take it.

[Dogmama]

Regarding socializing - I enjoy a dinner out with friends, can make small talk, etc., but would really rather be home with a good book or NBA game.

So, how do you deal with the "research" that says people with lots of social connections are happier, live longer, etc.?

[Helene2013]

But you still may have a very high connection network, just different. Just that you choose how you want to use it. No?

I feel I am very happy, my life is the way I like it (ok...it would be more fun to be retired and do what I want when I want - but you also need some cash for this. haha), even if it meant "dumping" friends (at least those who brought less to us - both ways) because of lack of time.

Seriously, we generally set our priorities where we want right? If I did not spend the time on a computer or TV (example!) I would have more time for other stuff right?

How many of us just crash on sofa (or bed) as soon as dinner and evening chores are done? Even if early in evening? I raise my hand!

I'm just too tired after a work's day and taking care of things at home when I get there that once dinner is over, pets fed (and walked or groomed, etc.) I just need my hot bath and zombie before hitting the sack at 9pm, if not earlier. Forget me if you want to go out to a bar or visit for a coffee/chat on weeknights! It used to be like this in our "previous" life. We are getting old I guess. haha

So the "research" about happier and living longer people with lots of "network friends", I don't know what to think about it. The world is also changing with the internet. I can't recall the last time I have seen a family gathering with them playing board games like we used to. Times are changing and social meets too I suppose.

[shootingstar]

Let me know, Helene if you need info/opinion on areas in Rocky Mtns., British Columbia. I think people in Ontario forget/may not know there's a ton of national and provincial parks from Banff National Park and going west... What is interesting for myself as an ex-Ontarion (lst 45 yrs.) is that long time Albertans really don't have much interest in vacationing Ontario/Quebec unless they have family/friends. They like heading to numerous, closer wilderness areas, Okanagan wine country, coastal B.C.

VAncouverites on the other hand may tend to consider Toronto but then get "lazy"/save money to enjoy more of British Columbia or head over to Hawaii. (You don't find Vancouverites interested in Arizona at all. But Calgarians will look to that state for warmth.)

[Helene2013]

Thanks Shooting Star. We won't be going that far west this time. Been to California (by car) in 2006 but with only a month of vacation time (in motorhome), that would be not enough time to do all and relax. We can't really drive more than 400km per day with a motorhome. One driver and it is tiring as you need all your senses alert all the time.

My dream is to retire in the Okanagan. Never been there but was told so much good about it. I have a cousin who lives in Kelowna and knows the area and our big boss lives in Calgary and knows that area very well too. Only good words. So need to pay a visit before. hihi That big boss who lives in Calgary, flies to Arizona very often. They bought a cottage as they are golfers.

We don't know yet our plans for vacation, other than maybe going back to that Boston area for the 5th year in a row. Time to travel I think as we got bored last summer. Especially after seeing those gorgeous pictures here on the board. Been across the USA and my heart was for 1) Nashville - good friend lives there 2) Colorado. I never get enough 3) Arizona. What spectaculor scenary. But 1 and 3 are too hot in the summer when we have our vacation (mid-july).

So we're still in planning mode.

[NbyNW]

Regarding socializing - I enjoy a dinner out with friends, can make small talk, etc., but would really rather be home with a good book or NBA game.

So, how do you deal with the "research" that says people with lots of social connections are happier, live longer, etc.?

Does the research really say "lots"? I would think that it would be more about the quality of social connections rather than the quantity.

Interesting how quite a few regulars here identify as introverted or really enjoying/needing solitude. Count me among them.

[lph]

I agree that quality probably is more important than quantity, at the same time having a certain number of friends makes one less vulnerable than having, say, only one close friend who fulfills almost all your social needs.
I keep thinking I should be better at getting to know new people, if not all the time, at least every now and then. Like most Norwegians I take a looong time to really warm up to someone... ;-)

[OakLeaf]

I'd expect that's true, but I think the more important part is that correlation is not causation, and obviously this isn't something you can do a randomized double-blinded prospective study on. I don't think introverts will magically become "healthier" if we force ourselves into uncomfortable social situations. I know for myself that too much of that and I'll start decompensating fast, and then I guarantee no one will want to be around me even if I wanted to be around them!

[thekarens]

I can see if you have lots of friends/social connections that you'd be happier. I would think if you had lots of connections more of your needs/wants could be met. Example: your friend, Mary loves to bike, but has no interest in your love of horticulture, so for that you talk to Joe. Well, your friend Sam shares your love of Indian food, etc. etc. With a smaller social circle it's probably less likely you'll have someone for all your needs/interests.

However, you can count me among the introverts. Cycling club meeting once a month is about all the socialization I can stand.

[Crankin]

Helene, come to Boston! We can ride together, or just go out to dinner. Seriously, so much to do in my own backyard.

[emily_in_nc]

But it's quite possible to be both outgoing and introverted, I am. I'm very social and chatty at work and in most situations, but socializing is an effort, especially at home in the evenings. It's sort of like exercise - I like it, I look forward to it, I can even feel quite "high" immediately afterwards, but boy, do I need to rest in the end. It even extends to close family, I could happily be alone at home for a week before I started to feel lonely. I try to socialize by culturing friendships at work, keeping up on Facebook and doing physical activities with people, as that keeps my home time free :-)

This is me to a "t". Nice description. Many/most people I meet would never guess that I consider myself an introvert and have consistently tested that way on the Myers-Briggs (INFJ). I am capable of being chatty, silly, humorous (I use humor to overcome my social awkwardness at times), and downright outgoing in the right situation. When I used to entertain family a lot (back when my dad was still alive and our family was a lot closer), I was often the center of attention, the most outgoing person in the room. But those "efforts" wore me OUT.

When I was working I much preferred to be social at work and then leave my weeknights free for just DH and me at home. And on weekends, bike club rides were okay during the day, but I hated having actual social plans for weekends and would sometimes make up excuses not to go to parties and get-togethers as I dreaded them so. But if I did actually go to one, more often than not I had a fun time and was glad I went. But I'd need some down time after. And if either set of our parents came to stay with us for a few days, it would take days of "recharge" time for me after they left.

Being an introvert doesn't mean I never feel lonely or feel like I'm missing out on a lot by not being more social -- I do. But it's harder to overcome all the barriers and protections I have built up to avoid social interactions any deeper than a quick chat in passing. And the fact that my DH is even more introverted and less social than I doesn't help matters any!

[Crankin]

Well, even though I am an extrovert, i don't usually socialize on week nights, when it's a work day. DH and I do go out occasionally during the week, but we generally are not meeting others.

[rebeccaC]

But it's quite possible to be both outgoing and introverted

Agree....I like the quiet type of contentment, sitting reading a book, cycling/hiking alone, quiet reflection, solitude etc. but also the feeling of being in the moment, being energized and focused in outgoing social activities like leading my work group, meeting an attractive stranger in a club (giddy happiness), the energy of a crowded club concert, a large dinner party, having a good friend/s visiting for a few days etc. I just see it as making positive choices that lead me towards enjoying the moment. I guess since I prefer more degrees of freedom than an introvert or extrovert label I’m an ambivert.

[salsabike]

I guess since I prefer more degrees of freedom than an introvert or extrovert label I’m an ambivert.

Oh, "ambivert"---love that. :)

[Pax]

Agree....I like the quiet type of contentment, sitting reading a book, cycling/hiking alone, quiet reflection, solitude etc. but also the feeling of being in the moment, being energized and focused in outgoing social activities like leading my work group, meeting an attractive stranger in a club (giddy happiness), the energy of a crowded club concert, a large dinner party, having a good friend/s visiting for a few days etc. I just see it as making positive choices that lead me towards enjoying the moment. I guess since I prefer more degrees of freedom than an introvert or extrovert label I’m an ambivert.
My sister!

[rebeccaC]

My sister!

we are all sisters :)

[OakLeaf]

Heh. I've had DirecTV since before "real" internet (when it was CompuServe, AOL, GEnie, what was the other one?)! It was that or put up rabbit ears to get one channel :) Enjoy your TV!

[Catrin]

I've gone back and forth my entire adult life between having cable (just a term for some kind of subscription service unrelated to the technology). Each time it seems to take less and less time to drop it. Right now am enjoying broadcast tv, Netflix and Amazon Prime streamed to my tv. The point is to find what works for us. Let us know what you think of it. Satellite is the only technology I've yet to try.

[thekarens]

I'm with Catrin, I dropped satellite/cable tv years ago and haven't regretted a minute. I use Amazon, Netflix and Hulu for TV.

I don't find it hard to follow current news/events. I follow my favorite news services on FB and Twitter.

[OakLeaf]

Prodigy, that's what it was. It was driving me nuts. I knew DH would know!

Back then, it was TV or nothing. In those days, CNN actually had news on ...

[Crankin]

We had Direct TV in 2002, because my younger son was annoying me about not having access to "real news," and the town we lived in did not have cable until 2003. Every time the wind blew, or it rained, the signal went out. We got cable as soon as it became available.
About 3 years ago, DH went on a rant about paying for the basic cable we had and dropped it. We got a digital antenna, which gets a very good signal, but of course, only local stations. I missed CNN, and most of all HGTV. So then we got an Apple TV device for our kitchen and bedroom TVs. Of course, you have to know how to use it with the I Pad and I just never can remember how to do this. I got increasingly pissed about this, because the only shows we could watch from the Apple TV were old or crappy ones. Yes, we have occasionally streamed stuff from Amazon, but I don't care that much about movies. So, then we upgraded to get cable, so we could watch current shows through Apple TV. Just last month, I convinced DH to break down and get an HD cable box for our family room TV. And voila, I am actually watching some newer, current series on HBO. However, I mostly am watching HGTV and looking forward to not having to watch the Tour on my computer. I still wish we would get cable boxes for the other 2 TVs, because even though we now have complete access to cable shows throught he Apple TV, the damn thing never seems to work correctly, so I just ignore the thought of trying to learn how to use it.

[rebeccaC]

This is the first place I’ve had a television so I’ve never had a tv provider before. I live in a high technology building where a communications company installed and maintains the buildings directv and also the high speed internet for us. The cost is cheaper than an individual cost and is included in the hoa fees. No problems or complaints about directv from me.

There are usually just around 6+ programs I record to watch when I want (and avoid commericals) and the occasional hbo/showtime/ifc movie/doc. I’m doing something most of the time at home and music is my background most of the time rather than television programing.
If it wasn’t included in the hoa fees I’d probably not have a provider and just stream since I have a wireless capable smart tv.

[Crankin]

Funny, I don't watch TV that much (except the news), but not having what I want bothered me.

[Helene2013]

If it was only for me, I don't think I'd even own a tv. But hubby is a tv maniac. Never big enough and not enough channels. Deuh! Not that he watches a lot but he likes to have his options!

Used to have satellite and it was a nightmare. Snow: no tv; storm: no tv. We were back to cable with the zillions channels. I have to cut down on the costs or the budget would bust.

The other day I made him realize with all the media we have (cable, internet, iphones, etc) we were spending near $3000 (after taxes!) on stuff like this. Taking monthly, nothing there. But when you start to look at annual expenses, I flip! Luckily we can afford it but it is a LOT of money to watch tv and play on internet.

But I say it is better this then smoking and drinking (at least drinking too much). And as long as our chores are done, I have no issue.

I have to say that in Canada (at least for Quebec) we pay a lot for everything. Our packages are so much more expensive than anything we could get in the USA. I guess it is the price to pay for being smaller and not as many suppliers.

Personnally, I get all I need from internet. Would be better if we could catch some tv shows, etc that are blocked to Canada (from USA) but hey! Nothing I can do with the CRTC laws, etc.

[emily_in_nc]

I am missing some US TV here in Mexico, where we have only Mexican cable. There are a couple of stations that have content in English, but they are very limited: Seinfeld, Friends, and Big Bang Theory in syndication, which we enjoy; and an entire channel on crime investigations ("Investigation Discovery"), which can be pretty engaging at times. We also like watching the Spanish cooking shows and can follow them pretty well.

What I miss is HGTV, the Weather Channel, and CNN. We get International CNN in Spanish, but that's of limited use to me. My reading in Spanish is getting better all the time, but as fast as they speak on news broadcasts, I can't catch much of it. There are a couple of US network shows I keep up with (though behind the times) using Hulu.com. Was sorry to see that "Resurrection" just had its season (and probably series) finale. I really liked that show, and it appears that it will not be renewed.

[OakLeaf]

We really haven't had a lot of trouble with weather interference with our satellite. If it's snow, it's no big deal to go sweep the dish off a little. Rain has to be EXTREMELY heavy before it'll interfere, and mostly when a storm's that bad, the electric is flickering and we'd turn off the TV and satellite receiver anyway. But if you're behind a lot of tree cover, wet leaves can definitely be too much for a satellite signal. I see that more often with my fitness GPS than I do with the TV.

Like I said in another thread, we're going to try satellite Internet when we get back north in the spring. We didn't have a good enough line of sight to get HughesNet back in the day (and had to buy the receiver to find that out :mad:), but I'm hoping Exede's satellites are located differently enough and/or modern technology means we can get internet without needing a better signal than we need for TV. Our DSL is just painfully slow, to the point where we can't watch videos at all and often can't even stream audio. Bigger software updates usually mean lugging our gear to the Apple Store and swiping their bandwidth. Exede gets good reviews and I'm keeping my fingers crossed ...

[Nanci]

Just stopping in to say hi! I'm trying to figure out what the year number of the running shoes I loved was- thought I might have mentioned them here somewhere.

[Pax]

Hey Nanci! Long time no see, pop in more often.

[Trek420]

Hey Nanci! Nice to see you. Knott (who is sitting here) and I say howdy.

[VeganBikeChick]

Just poking in to say hello too. My bike riding has all but come to a halt with the snowiest February on record for CO.

I was accepted to grad school last May (yay!) except it means I have to move back to Seattle. ASAP. As I continue to struggle with making friends here, I'm ok with the move. Applied for a new job yesterday, got a call today. During the phone interview, my phone disconnected the call 5 times. I was so embarrassed. I hope the hiring manager understands. I fly out for an in-person interview in 2 weeks. Fingers crossed.

Hope all you TE'ers are doing well.

[OakLeaf]

Hey VBC!!

Good luck with the interview, and the move!

[Helene2013]

Wishing you the best of luck for the job, and school. Go get them!!!!

[Pax]

Hey VBC, congrats on grad school, happy you're getting to move as well.

[emily_in_nc]

Oh man on the dropped calls...hope it doesn't influence the manager. Technology can really be a bee-yotch!

GOOD LUCK to you!

[shootingstar]

Best of luck VeganBike Chic!

[Crankin]

Are people getting sick of TE? There seems to be much less conversation. Maybe I have too much time on my hands? I don't think so, though.

[Blueberry]

I've noticed the drop off too. I read more than I post, but still check in pretty much every day. I wonder where people have gone?

[SheFly]

I wouldn't say sick of TE - I love this place. That said, I am pretty prolific at social media (FB, Twitter and Instagram) for myself, and our bike team. I find that managing that takes up enough time that I don't get to TE as often, and certainly don't post as much. For anyone that might have read my blog in the past, that has also become a victim of social media. I do miss my TE family though, and am here reading often!

SheFly

[Pax]

I try to post when I check in, seems worthwhile to keep this place up and running.

[Catrin]

I think periodic ebbs are normal, but I've noted the same thing. Activities change, as well as time for posting. Over the years I've come to know those who post regularly, and have enjoyed meeting some in person. This is one if the reasons I continue to post here even though I can no longer ride. To me it is more about the members supporting each other rather than the activity.

[maillotpois]

I'm one of those who used to post a lot, then didn't at all and now I'm lurking and occasionally posting. Like SheFly and some others of you, I'm more active on Facebook.

I think really fondly of you all, especially the ones who were posting when I was more active, say 2005 - 2010 or so. I really treasure the friendships I have made here. I was lucky enough to most recently get to meet Blueberry while in NC for daughter's college auditions last spring. We had a GREAT time and it was so much fun to have a friendly face in such a far away place. I felt like I'd known her forever.

I'm riding a lot following a period of some orthopedic challenges (I had hip surgery in 2013). I'm aiming at the CA Triple Crown Stage Race this year (3 really hard double centuries). DD is a freshman in college in Boston. Work is very busy.

Hugs to all of you.

[Crankin]

What school is DD at?
I am on Facebook a lot, too, but I guess the difference is that I don't say much there, more respond to others. I see this as a totally different thing.

[maillotpois]

What school is DD at?


BU. She's in a BFA theater program at their college of fine arts,

[Aromig]

I've been lurking for about a year. I post occasionally if I feel I have something to add, but most often others here are so much more knowledgeable and I just like to follow and read along. I have noticed that there's not as much posting now as there was last year but I presume that's just ebb and flow (or the fact that TE has been around so long that there is such a knowledgebase already here that can be searched so people just might not be posting as many questions).

I'll probably buy a new road bike in the next few years so I'm always watching the threads talking about new things (disc brakes) or how certain bikes fit (I'll probably buy a Ruby or a Silque)

Amy

[OakLeaf]

It does seem like there's been more ebb than flow in the last couple of years. To me FB is a totally different space, but other social media may well be sucking away potential new members - it's a lot easier now to reach out to extended friend/acquaintance/business circles when someone has a question. Most of us probably came here initially with questions, and stayed for the camaraderie. :)

I wonder whether it would be helpful to TE as a business if they were to have more social media involvement. Lots of the businesses I follow on FB regularly post discussion topics to keep their customers/followers involved, as well as to data mine the responses and responders (little as many of us may like it, that's the reality of marketing in the 21st century). I wonder whether, if TE did that, whether it would have an effect on forum participation - I can see it potentially going either way.

[Helene2013]

I am on a few discussion boards (been on those for ages) and we too noticed it has toned down a lot to the benefit of FB. I don't do FB or other types - no interest as I have enough as it is.

But there sure is a trend towards those. Too bad as it is not the same format and harder to keep it all into one spot. As far as I was told.

The FB I have is a fake one for contests or other places that required FB only. But it does not mention my name and is locked anyway to almost anything. Deuh. haha

[OakLeaf]

it does not mention my name and is locked anyway to almost anything. Deuh. haha

OK, now I'm curious. How do you lock it down and yet allow enough of the scripts to participate in contests? Do you have a browser set aside just for that? Which I kind of do, but I still don't allow FB apps to run, just as a matter of principle.

(I'd be surprised if using a fake name isn't a violation of contest rules if you won, anyhow ...)

[Helene2013]

Sometimes, to access a certain contest, you need to like them on FB. So in order to do that I need a FB account. But the information they require once that is done, is your real stuff. It takes you to another window. It's like if I want to check something out on a radio station, I have to go into their Facebook and it asks me for my FB name.

Same for my city. If I want to do something, I need to be on FB and then I can send them my real information. Hard to explain but easy to do.

As to lock, I simply go into my privacy settings and check marked private, only me, etc...

[ny biker]

I'm just too busy lately. I read things and think of responses but don't have much time to type them, and then time passes and I forget.

[OakLeaf]

simply go into my privacy settings and check marked private, only me, etc...

Ah ... May I suggest using a script blocker? You realize doing it the way you are, doesn't hide your information from FB or from its advertisers, only from other users.

[Helene2013]

I don't know much about FB. But rarely using it. Never received a message to join, etc

Sorry for sounding ignorant, but how do you do a script blocker?

[OakLeaf]

The two I use are NoScript and Ghostery. It's easier to just install them and play with the settings than it is to explain. I'm far from an expert.

It makes the browsing experience ... more interactive, should I say? And these days, it's useful to have a separate browser kept wide open for when you just HAVE to interact with one of those really unsanitary websites, which is getting to be more and more of them lately. The key there is to put it in private browsing mode, enable all the security the particular site permits you, open that window and no others, and quit the browser immediately after you're done.

You could also just install Lightbeam to show you how much you're giving away. Lightbeam doesn't block anything, just illustrates it. Even with my level of security (which I would characterize as moderate, certainly not high), as I said on another forum - every time I look at Lightbeam, it makes me want to throw my computer in a hot shower with bleach and scrub brushes ... which obviously even if I did that, wouldn't clean any of my information off all the OTHER computers that now have it ...

[Helene2013]

Thanks. I'll look it up this weekend.

I know the big www is crazy. It's amazing how much information I can find on someone. Working in HR I regularly have to dig up info and it is sooooo easy. Some people are truly opened books on the net. :eek:

[emily_in_nc]

I'm not as active here as I once was partly because I'm not riding nearly as much this year since we're in Mexico, and yes, Facebook takes a lot of my online time. I also have a couple of people I email pretty regularly, and our blog, though I haven't been posting a lot there either since we've been staying in one place for months now. I still enjoy stopping by here and seeing what people are up to, but I do miss some of the "old timers" who have dropped off completely or mostly.

[PamNY]

Most of us probably came here initially with questions, and stayed for the camaraderie. :).

That's exactly what happened with me, and I will always be grateful for the help, advice and encouragement that I found in this group. Very likely it made the difference in whether I kept cycling.

I love this group, but I just don't have much to say lately, and my cycling goals are fairly modest. I do check in occasionally and hope the group continues.

[shootingstar]

I don't FB nor twitter. No interest and my personal contacts don't use these tools at all or hardly at all.

So still drop by TE forums here. I sense a lot less women participating in discussion here. Wonder the administrator can tell us if there are a lot more readers vs. participants. It does take a longer period of time to understand forum dynamics and how to communicate in a manner that facilitates useful responses. I just think some folks on social media tend to be more shorthand and prefer it that way.

[Catrin]

I use FB all the time, but not so much for fitness activities. My FB friends who ARE active are much higher level liters than I, but most are not interested in hearing about it. Occasionally I post about it anyway but much of it I keep to TE. While there aren't that many posting here right now, I want to do what I can.

[salsabike]

Me too, Muirenn. I get hit with that one often; Dad too. You have company.

[VeganBikeChick]

Hugs, murienn and salsa.

[Pax]

My mom passed away one year ago this week, I miss her so much.