Dear So and So

[Selkie]

:D:D

Dear US States,

Now that studies have repeatedly shown that Daylight Savings Time wastes energy and is detrimental to human health, can we PLEASE abolish it?

What studies?

In the 70s, I recall that we reverted to DST in the winter due to the fuel crisis. I think this was just for one winter (the year I turned 10, if I'm not mistaken). The theory was that it would save energy.

No offense intended but what is your beef with DST?

[OakLeaf]

Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daylight_saving_time) has a well annotated review of the literature.

From a health standpoint, it's only the time shifts that are problematic. I'd be happy with "permanent" DST like some countries have (where clocks are set to read 1 PM at astronomical noon year round).

From an energy standpoint, there may have been clear savings when the practice was initiated during World War I, when the main use of electricity was household lighting. Nowadays, the evidence is mixed at best.

[Selkie]

I'd like DST to be permanent as well.

[sgtiger]

My internal clock takes a long time to reset, so I detest the time change. I don't care if we stay on standard or DST - just pick one and stay with it, I say!

[Crankin]

I love DST.
I hated being in AZ, where we didn't have it. It got dark so early, when it was nice out! Perhaps we should have had reverse DST, i.e., in the winter when it was decent weather, instead of in the summer.
I am so glad it starts in March now. It really has added a month onto the cycling season for me.

[Blueberry]

Dear world:

Thank you for taking care of me with the job situation. I adore my new job.

CA

(I won't post details on TE, but if anyone I know wants them, PM me).

[Suzie Green]

Dear Jeannie and Dave:

You are fabulous neighbors and we couldn't ask for anyone better to live next door to us. But the warm weather is coming and we wonder if you would mind closing your bedroom window during your twice-per-week night time escapades. You'd be surprised how well sound carries. I know that perhaps you're trying to prove to the world that 45 years of age is really the new 30, but my husband's jokes are sending me into fits of laughter and the occasional accident is slightly embarrassing.

[Becky]

Dear boss,

I cannot continue to carry this program by myself. I am so overwhelmed that it's no longer fun to be challenged, and the stress is beginning to spill over into my personal life. Oh, and I need a manager who actually helps me manage my workload, rather than just piling onto it. It's time for a new job, I think.


Dear MTB,

I'm sorry that I said I hated you and threatened to sell you yersterday. It was a bad ride, and I was already having a bad day (thinking about going back to work today). I'll make it up to you by finally naming you, and then maybe we'll head out to Fair Hill together- just us girls, no boys allowed.


Dear Grad School,

Shove it. I'm too stressed now to think about taking one more thing on. Maybe I'll take a grad-level continuing ed class this fall. It will be embarassing to tell people that I've changed my mind, but my sanity needs to come ahead of my ego.

[redrhodie]

Dear Best Friend,

Dump him.

[Biciclista]

Dear California
Thanks for the lovely weather. You are truly a state of incredible contrasts. In California so many people live the good life. Or they are desperately poor, or they are one of one of the largest prison populations in the world. California, where farms overflow with bounty, and fires rage through canyons and there isn't enough water. California, where farm labor is done by the original Californians, those that have not been deported, and unemployment and bankruptcy are at an all time high. California, who took the time to build the beautiful American River trail bursting with wildlife and no cars allowed.
Thanks California, for sharing your bounty with me for a few days. It's hard to understand what to feel besides gratitude and being overwhelmed.
m

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Mimi, this is for you.... :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-q4foLKDlcE

[uforgot]

Dear California
Thanks for the lovely weather.

Dear Missouri- April Fool's day is over. Please stop with the sleet and snow. I've had enough.

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Mountain Bike Race Director,

That was really cool that you called DH to make sure he was okay because he stopped by the EMT tent. I feel a little silly asking the EMTs clean his cut and dirt covered knee but I am sure his doc that has him on the immuno-suppresants approved. Now if he would remember to pack the first aid kit I lovingly bought him. :p

Race EMTs- Thanks for being cool and helpful, you guys had a hard job the other day!

[crazycanuck]

Dear Parents of child wandering the street I was cycling home on today,

Umm...last time I checked, a child under the age of 2 should not be wandering down the street half dressed without anyone with it :mad: Ummm...why did the child escape in the first place? Your very young child crossed a main road..twice :mad: The freeway on ramp is just metres up the road :mad: Helloooooooo..*knock* *knock*

Oh, that's right, you're too busy to notice the little sprocket doing a houdini trick. Perhaps you might want to put a lock on the torn front screen door or does someone have to come and hold your hand to explain it to you? You''re the reason I believe some people should not be allowed to breed. Perhaps while they're there explaining good parenting, they might want to tell you how to clean up the front of your house.

You're lucky I was paying attention & a local council worker just happened to be there. If i could figure out what social services department to call, i'd make a complaint.

Signed,
Confused & rather annoyed cyclist.

[redrhodie]

Dear Client,

Please don't send me your political email. We are not of the same mindset, and since this is a business relationship, it's really inappropriate. Also, since I've dreaded every project I've done for you, I'll be refusing any future requests.

Sincerely,
Your Jeweler

P.S. Your husband is a jerk.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Along similar lines.....

Dear neighbors,
I like you well enough and we do favors for each other from time to time, but...
Please, if I come over for no reason other than to bring you a bouquet of fresh flowers from my garden, don't see it as a great opportunity to try to convert me to your religion and 'save my soul'. You know my views already, please have respect for them. I don't try to convert you to my way of thinking. :mad:

[cylegoddess]

Dear Cycling food manufacturers,

could you please make SOMETHING without wheat/grain/ glucose/rice/white sugar/ soy/ egg whites/ nuts /raisins? I am allergic.Even if it is nothing but ground up dates with apricots and quinoa, I will buy it until I die. I am sick of making my own snacks, as I have to make my own bread/cookies/soup/meals and am tired of this 'pioneer' crap.
And how about some honey based, non caffeine energy shots? It would be nice to have something that would revive me from near exhaustion without poisoning myself.

Dear Goddess of winds,

please do something about that 2 km stretch off nothing but headwinds both ways, on my commute. I know its not far but having to stop three times to rest while big men zoom by is demoralizing

Dear Cycling Clothing manufacturers,

for once, jeez, can you make a jersey for flat chested women? I can store two extra water bottles in the space left. And what is with the size of elastic in leg openings? Id like for once not to lose circulation.
And please, pretty please make some arm warmers and leg warmers that fit small ladies. Ill buy them in every colour for ever, just as not to have to knot rubber bands on my upper arms and over my leg warmers.

Dear Seat Makers,
not all chix like pink. your seats suck.

[cylegoddess]

dear Goddess of the universe( whatever you are)
thank you for the kindness of strangers and my clinic nurse,who see me when I am getting my every other week IVC. You care more about my getting better from being ill, than my own family. Patients, Thank you for telling me all you cycling storys, esp the cute man who with cancer , who rides weekly 75 km, who told me that all I need to do is intervals and he'd see me racing in five years.

Thank you for sending me my best friend,who took me to buy a cycle.

Please send me someone to ride with.

Thank you for not giving me cancer, even though what I have isnt curable, I can live with it.

Please send Good day sunshine her health.

Dear Lance Armstrong,

thank you for setting a good example. Because of you and my own will, I got up on days I could hardly walk and rode my bike. Im almost better now and it sure helped to pretend I was you ,on, terrible days I could barely stand and had to work all day, standing up, for those bad years. Every day was a new Tour.
I am on my bike.

[lph]

Dears powers that be, and you're probably female,

I need some peace of mind again. Have any to spare? I know it's spring and all, but this is so unsettling and I'm getting dizzy from the mood swings. I really don't need to doubt my entire life twice a day.

thanx chix

[Selkie]

Dear Powers that Be

Please let me receive that news I've been awaiting and making it be :D:D:D:D. If it is not going to work out, please give me the courage to accept it with dignity, grace and peace.

[chatterbox]

Dear students making kissy-face in the bike lane,

I'm sure you've seen the signs in various places throughout campus declaring bike free zones. But perhaps you haven't really noticed that there are pretty much only two routes a bike can take through campus, and that they're clearly marked with little bikes painted on the pavement, not to mention the double-yellow lines. So due to the fact that I must stay on the bike path or risk a ticket for endangering the lives of pedestrians, would you please take your makeout session elsewhere? That goes triple for the young ladies walking four abreast across both directions of the bike lane. Do not look surprised when I continue to ride toward you. Do not look put out when I do not yield. Get. Out. Of. My. Bike lane.

Sincerely,
A cyclist and campus citizen

[cylegoddess]

Dear Dog ownerz, Crazy Cyclist guys

I love dogs too but I do not love you leaving their droppings on the side of the shared path.Do you have any idea how hard it is too remove dog poo from MB cleats?Do you?!! WHY must you ruin a quick sit down with a snack on fresh green grass, with your dogs! CLEAN UP.
I have to stop to remove jumpers, rest,rejuive contacts and such, and its really getting me down, Of course, I could just stop on path, like most of you do even though I have slowed down to a crawl, speaking loudly - hey! sorry cycle coming thru on left, nearly falling over but then...
I couldnt get in a near crash with the hot shot lycra lads, riding at near warp speed, who clearly would like to show me how much it hurts to stack your bike at high speeds.
I know its a fantasy of mine, hot guy cyclists- but not covered in blood AND NOT NOT NOT with my bike broken!

[cylegoddess]

Dear GOvt,

I do appreciate you redoing the cycling paths, but next time can you do me a favour and use something that isnt ROUGHER than the previous surface?
It should be smooth enough that I dont blow a tire, jiggle all water bottles out of cages or fantasize that I am riding the Paris- Roubaix, Ardenen forest leg,please.

[Owlie]

Dear immune system--
That is pollen. It is not a virus, bacterium, parasite or anything else you might want to react to. Believe it or not, it is entirely harmless. So I'd appreciate you toning it down a little. You're making it very difficult to sleep, study, or enjoy the beautiful (for a change) weather.
Go hang out around that cut in my foot. It might need that.

[cylegoddess]

Dear Weather,

I was off for three days and you decided that freezing cold and rain was on, I wouldnt mind but the hurricane force winds made it so I couldnt ride.
Now Ive stayed home with a cold and its warm, sunny and calm?
I hate you!!

[Grits]

I appreciate that you eliminate much spam from appearing on forums I go to, but, aren't you trying a little too hard? It took me 3 tries to get the string of numbers, characters, symbols, whatever it amuses you to put up there, right.
Honestly. But, maybe it's just me.

[OakLeaf]

Dear Lori,

It's not just you. :p I hate those things.

[Owlie]

I hate those things too, especially the ones that you can barely read to begin with.

[cylegoddess]

Dear Flu bug,
thanks to you: I have missed all rides for a week, have missed four days ( and counting) of work( with god knows how much to catch up to), and have had my lovely trip to Sydney ,to see a wedding ruined. I dont appreciate that you decided to make me start to throw up on a bus. Chemical toilets are not fun.Nor are public places. It was really hard to carry my bags too. I could have done without the ten hours of eye blurring nausea.
Now Im not allowed to ride for another week. I hate you, flu. Not to mention, people are going to start to think I am too thin and worry.
Oh and when you leave, please take the constipation with you. thanks.

But thanks, Universe for all the nice people I saw. The darling baby, the charming little girl and the two sweet , melancholy puppies( oh! so sad babies!) really made my day.

[Selkie]

To whom it may concern

Please make this wretched weather front and its associated lows move off the coast and take the rain with it. We need sun. Everyone is getting surly.

[Lise]

Dear students making kissy-face in the bike lane,

I'm sure you've seen the signs in various places throughout campus declaring bike free zones. But perhaps you haven't really noticed that there are pretty much only two routes a bike can take through campus, and that they're clearly marked with little bikes painted on the pavement, not to mention the double-yellow lines. So due to the fact that I must stay on the bike path or risk a ticket for endangering the lives of pedestrians, would you please take your makeout session elsewhere? That goes triple for the young ladies walking four abreast across both directions of the bike lane. Do not look surprised when I continue to ride toward you. Do not look put out when I do not yield. Get. Out. Of. My. Bike lane.

Sincerely,
A cyclist and campus citizen
Oh, man. Nothing raises my near-homicidal ire like people f'ing around in the bike lane! I had a whole rant on TE once titled "Lexus in the Bike Lane". Get the F out of the bike lane! I've been reminded that pedestrians have the right of way, etc, but c'mon people. A sticker on my Larkspur reads, "I AM TRAFFIC". If people just wander into the path of cars, they're called "crazy people". OK, rant off!

[Blueberry]

Dear soon-to-be-married couple:

It's REALLY tacky to put on your wedding website (which is the only way one finds out the details from your emailed invite) that one should make sure to include a gift receipt if choosing to give you a present.

I'm also still scratching my head as to why you're getting married in my town - when you feel it necessary to say on said website that, for one's safety, one should not go outside after dark.

Signed,

A confused and annoyed wedding guest who will now be buying a much smaller present

[Selkie]

When one door shuts, another better one opens - please let it be so.

[maillotpois]

Dear cough - Go away.

[OakLeaf]

Dear voters who voted down the school levy for, I don't even remember, the sixth or seventh time in a row: WTF. :mad::mad: Common sense and the ability to think critically are not finite resources. Denying them to children will not bring you any closer to having them.

[bmccasland]

Dear numbnut that's doing the hazmat investigation - I don't care why you didn't get the contractor to do the change order, and are now doing the work in house. Acknowledge the fact that you haven't done the work YET, and the report is due, and get your sorry a$$ out there to do the work. No you can't drive right up to the site, you'll have to hike in. We knew this, we told you this. Just get the work done, and get the site report done, so I can get the next step done. Trust me, if the date gets missed, and heads roll, it won't be mine. You're already a month behind. :mad:

[Tuckervill]

Dear My-Dad's-Neighbor,

Did you really think it would help get rid of the solicitor at the door if you got in your car and tried to run him over? Did you really think this wouldn't lead to other problems? Like hitting my car broadside on the street? Really?

Did you really think it was wise to wait until after I'd left to come out and apologize to my dad? The estimate is $2,000. I hope you have to pay every cent out of your pocket! And I hope you move away soon, or at least keep your lawn mowed this summer.

Signed,
Just another of your victims

[Eden]

Dear Frustrated Drivers,
Yes I know its bike to work month and you are seeing a lot more of us out there, but think on this. Every time you threaten me by coming up behind and repeatedly blowing your horn, scream at me or pass me with cms to spare you are telling me through your actions that my health, welfare and very life are much less important than 20 seconds of your time. Now do you understand why I get upset? Please don't devalue my existence like that. I'm a human being going about my business too. You are not more important than me.

[cylegoddess]

Dear Bike shop,

how come It took me only five( only been riding a year, just bought a Zinn's bike maint manual) to fix my brakes, when I paid money and left my bike - and you STILL gave me back a bike that I rode for 6 months, with rubbing brakes?
Ive been riding on full brakes for 6 MONTHS!
I know you are all young and keen on bikes, but could you be keen on fixing them properly? I figured it out, and Im not terribly mech minded.( Just a tread head, working on it.)
Wow , I wonder how easy it is going to be, when I stop feeling so ill and try it out again....

[ccnyc]

Why the @#$%! did you slow/brake without signaling or calling out that you're slowing/stopping for no good reason (there were no road hazards, obstacles, traffic lights, darting squirrels, or stop signs) when we were doing 18+ mph on the straightaway by the reservoir? You were taught NOT to do that. You caused 2 of us to crash, go to the hospital by ambulance, destroyed one carbon bike, and generally ruined what was a lovely ride up until that point. I will be thinking of you every time I turn my head (ouch!), roll over in bed (ouch!), lean forward (ouch!), or see my left side in the mirror (yikes!). Oh yeah, I've got to shell out for a new helmet, too. My co-leader has to shell out for a new bike!!!!

If any of you ever show up for rides that I'm leading, you're not welcome.

BTW, you don't deserve to graduate from the CSIG program. You're a danger to riders everywhere.

[MM_QFC!]

It's bike to work month and today is bike to work day here in the Seattle area. I realize that a lot more people who are brand new to riding and/or to commuting by bike may be venturing out on the roads lately.
I was hit by a car in April last year, shortly before bike-to-work month started and am still not back to commuting to work on a bike, so I've either been observing when I'm on a bus or from behind my steering wheel.

As a roadie, I know that I'm even more vigilant for riders while I'm driving a car and - for the life of me - cannot understand why so many riders, even if you're a newbie rider - would wear dark clothing, not use lights nor reflective gear - ANYTHING to make you more visible while you're riding. Honestly, every day I see 'stealth' riders in all black, no lights or 1 very faint blinkie out there. How in #ell are drivers supposed to see you? Please be aware that it isn't just darkness that can render you invisible to others sharing (or wanting to safely share!) the road; you can easily disappear into the shadows and shade even on days with bright sunshine.
It doesn't mean that you need to buy new cycling clothes...either wear a reflective or highly visible vest or use lights, reflective tape - whatever it takes to keep you from being invisible on the road!
For what it's worth, when I read the police report of the car crashing into me and destroying my bike, it had lots of information for the reporting officer to not only note the basic facts of the incident, but also to note the conditions that were present: weather (high clouds, clear, about 60 degrees F), time-of-day (bright daylight/early afternoon), road (clear and dry, painted crosswalk, numerous bicycle crossing/caution signs), traffic (trail intersection with thoroughfare), as well as specifically weather the cyclist (me!) was wearing visible/reflective clothing (yes), helmet (yes, light colored one), had lights or reflective material on their bike (yes, both), etc...it all helped in quickly establishing that the driver was completely liable for causing the injuries and property damage.
So, if not for any safety reason for yourself, it might be worth your while to be covered on this point, if the driver (or their insurance/attorney, etc) says that they couldn't see you at all...

Tailwinds!
Mary

[Duck on Wheels]

It's bike to work month and today is bike to work day here in the Seattle area. I realize that a lot more people who are brand new to riding and/or to commuting by bike may be venturing out on the roads lately.
I was hit by a car in April last year, shortly before bike-to-work month started and am still not back to commuting to work on a bike, so I've either been observing when I'm on a bus or from behind my steering wheel.

As a roadie, I know that I'm even more vigilant for riders while I'm driving a car and - for the life of me - cannot understand why so many riders, even if you're a newbie rider - would wear dark clothing, not use lights nor reflective gear - ANYTHING to make you more visible while you're riding. Honestly, every day I see 'stealth' riders in all black, no lights or 1 very faint blinkie out there. How in #ell are drivers supposed to see you? Please be aware that it isn't just darkness that can render you invisible to others sharing (or wanting to safely share!) the road; you can easily disappear into the shadows and shade even on days with bright sunshine.
It doesn't mean that you need to buy new cycling clothes...either wear a reflective or highly visible vest or use lights, reflective tape - whatever it takes to keep you from being invisible on the road!
For what it's worth, when I read the police report of the car crashing into me and destroying my bike, it had lots of information for the reporting officer to not only note the basic facts of the incident, but also to note the conditions that were present: weather (high clouds, clear, about 60 degrees F), time-of-day (bright daylight/early afternoon), road (clear and dry, painted crosswalk, numerous bicycle crossing/caution signs), traffic (trail intersection with thoroughfare), as well as specifically weather the cyclist (me!) was wearing visible/reflective clothing (yes), helmet (yes, light colored one), had lights or reflective material on their bike (yes, both), etc...it all helped in quickly establishing that the driver was completely liable for causing the injuries and property damage.
So, if not for any safety reason for yourself, it might be worth your while to be covered on this point, if the driver (or their insurance/attorney, etc) says that they couldn't see you at all...

Tailwinds!
Mary

Ditto to that! Assume drivers are pretty near blind. Do all you can to be visible, and then still do all you can to keep an eye on those crazy drivers. Two days ago a geezer in a little grey sedan pulled an unsignalled left right in front of my nose. Claimed he didn't see me, and I was driving a big, tall, fire-engine red Eurovan! Now imagine how likely he is to see a ninja cyclist all in black with no lights in the dusk on a rainy day.

[crazycanuck]

Dear Western Australians that voted NO in today's daylight savings referendum.

What is wrong with you? Why is it that change is an alien idea to people in this state? Changing Shopping hours etc are just too hard for you to grasp. In regards to putting your children to bed when it's still light :rolleyes: Where i come from in Alberta we have backwards thinking folk as well but we still accept daylight savings.

When i was young & the sun didn't go down til say 10pm in the summer, I still had to go to bed when the sun was up. It's called discipline & obviously parents nowadays don't grasp that concept either.

I'm not moving :mad: & am not applying for Aust citizenship just so i can vote on things like this. I have two already.

Fuddy duddies.

Unhappy Western Australian Resident

[Owlie]

Dear owner of the new white Trek on one of the north quad bike racks--
You have a lovely bike, and I hope you aren't just some freshman with more money than sense. I hope it was you who moved your bike and not someone who stole it. I would never leave my bike outside even with a lock, and mine cost less than yours did.

Dear self--
You have a bike. She's more than good enough for your needs right now. Please stop drooling over bikes that you are not going to be able to afford until you get out of graduate school. If you are going to look, look for a commuter bike for getting you between points A and B next year, not road bikes. She's getting jealous.

Dear bike--
I love you, really! I don't have time to ride right now, what with getting set for the new school year and taking the GRE on Saturday morning. Tell you what--Sunday morning, we go for a nice long ride with DBF and the Cannondale. Sound good to you?

[snapdragen]

Why is it every time I make plans to leave work early, all h*ll breaks loose and I get stuck. Now I get to drive over the hill to Santa Cruz in rush hour traffic....so much for arriving relaxed and calm. :(

[bmccasland]

Happy 4th Anniversary Hurricane Katrina.

We're still here, still rebuilding.

And news media - the blasted hurricane hit the Gulf coast of Mississippi and Alabama too. Just ask my colleague who lost his house in Bay St. Louis, and didn't have flood insurance. :mad: His house was hit by the out-bound wave.

[Trek420]

Typing from on top of the Hayward fault :eek: this could happen to any community here. I hope all will do whatever we can to help the Gulf Coast.

Not to politicize the thread but this is good, I think:

www.whitehouse.gov/blog/Weekly-Address-Lessons-and-Renewal-Out-of-the-Gulf-Coast/

[cylegoddess]

Dear eating disorder,ADD and chronic fatigue

I really REALLY at this point of my life want to do more than work in dept stores the rest of my life, so can you please; let me study in peace, its only 6 months and ED, please please let me relax and eat enough that I can teach cycling spin classes after that. Oh and CF please stay away wherever you have been the last three weeks, I really want this certificate. I have better things to so than worry about how fat my thighs are, or how little I ate yesterday.

sincerly,
cyclegoddess

[cylegoddess]

To the man in this photo.....


just thanks!!:D
http://www.flickr.com/photos/42034117@N08/386

[Selkie]

Dear Guardian Angel, thank you for coming back from the extended smoke break ;) The fates seemed to have line up right this time, and my prayers were answered. Just a big Thank You to all those who helped! :):):):)

[redrhodie]

Dear Twiggy,

Why must you use the litter box every time I have company over? I appreciate that you are so comfortable with your bodily functions, but really, it's unladylike to stink up the whole house like that. How embarrassing.

[Tuckervill]

Dear Lucy Doofus. Please stop staring at the visiting cat. She's going hoarse from growling at you. When are you going to get a clue?

Cat Sitter

[lph]

I appreciate that you are so comfortable with your bodily functions

*snort* :D

[lph]

Dear whoever:

I don't know what happened, but THANK YOU!

For the weather, for my luck, for smoothing out the bumps, even them huge ones, for being able to go kayaking with my dh on silkysmooth water before work yesterday morning :), and rock climbing the same afternoon in golden afternoon sun, for just making life simple and sweet. For friends who are glad to see me, and old friends become new.

For as long as it lasts, I'm grateful :)

[SadieKate]

Dear Fate:

It is not funny to kill the transmission in my Bike/Fish Mobile when my husband is trying to get back from his mom's house to rejoin the last day of his male-bonding fishing trip. He's spent the last couple days dealing with an obstinate selfish aging mother while missing a couple of days from a 25+ yr old annual ritual with friends he only sees once a year because this family meeting just had to be scheduled this week instead of next. So it's 4 pm in Pocahello* on a Friday. Could you have made it any closer to the weekend? Or ruined anymore of his very special trip?

SK

*No insult intended to residents of southeastern Idaho. I love it there. Except when the car dies and home is 600 miles away and he has a friend with him he has to get home.

[SadieKate]

Dear Fate:

One last thing that I forgot. Did you have to send his credit card on an unchaperoned shopping spree in Ohio?

I'm not sure this is going to go down as one of his better vacations. Memorable, but not better.

~SK

[cylegoddess]

Dear fate,

Its bad enough that I am struggling with school and ADD, Chronic fatigue and dealing with emotional abuse therapy( for me); but did you have to steer me into buying a plane ticket for wrong date I cannot cancel, a big hole I cut into my new ran cycling pants when opening the parcel and the shoe that fell at work and cut my face? Also, my psycho mom is stalking me on facebook and writing cruel and odd comments, what is with that?
Im very happy you sent that nice man to help fix that flat, and that the bike shop was two blocks . Also that my new friend just happened to be walking home from her ( flooded ) work today by chance.
Please , please let me study in peace. I think I may even start to retain some knowledge. Please let counseling go ok, without too much crying.
I really would be so happy if the run pf bad luck could just stop and nice things happen, please?
love,
cycle goddes

[redrhodie]

Dear CG,

A big hug. Keep looking out for the good things. That's the key. Suddenly, you'll realize you have a lot to be happy about.

RR

[Grits]

Dear fellow volunteer,

Why do you agree to take on a job and then do not do what you have volunteered to do? I guess you just don't like to tell people no, but then when you do not do the job, it causes more difficulties than if you had just said no to begin with. Then we could have found someone else who actually would do what they had signed up for! Now there is no time to find anyone else. I am in the uncomfortable position of having to nag you like I'm your mother instead of a fellow volunteer, or else just doing the blasted thing myself.

[NbyNW]

Dear obnoxious teenagers in the big honkin' pickup truck with the big honkin' trailer,

Did you really need to follow me for 140 km on the freeway, alternatively tailgating me and cutting me off, and driving at dangerously high speeds to catch up to me again when I left you behind after you stopped for gas?

The crude signs in your window also defy explanation.

Please get a job. Or go to school. Or find some way to stop wasting the valuable resources that have been given to you. And try not to kill anyone in the process.

Thanks.
NbyNW

[bmccasland]

Dear Herald,
I know you don't feel good, but you need to eat, and you have to let me give you your insulin shot. Food + shot, they go together. We can get your blood surar stablized, then you'll feel better, and hopefully your neuropathy will improve. Or are you telling me you really don't feel good, you're tired, and we need to make one final trip to the vet?

[OakLeaf]

(((((((((Beth & Herald))))))))

[tulip]

Dear Bumpkin,
Have a wonderful trip! I miss you!
-tulip

[crazycanuck]

Dear Rescue Workers in Sumatra(and Samoa) & good thoughts,

Can you please work a miracle & find my co-workers relatives alive?? Please??

Dear Earthquakes & Tsunamis,

Umm, do you mind? I think Sumatra, Banda Aceh & other areas of the Pacific have had enough. No more for the year please. Thank you though for doing this AFTER Ramadan, my co-worker appreciated it.

Dear RAAF & RNZAF-thank you for being quick of the mark & getting supplies in ASAP.

[bmccasland]

Dear Rescue Workers in Sumatra(and Samoa) & good thoughts,

Can you please work a miracle & find my co-workers relatives alive?? Please??

Dear Earthquakes & Tsunamis,

Umm, do you mind? I think Sumatra, Banda Aceh & other areas of the Pacific have had enough. No more for the year please. Thank you though for doing this AFTER Ramadan, my co-worker appreciated it.

Dear RAAF & RNZAF-thank you for being quick of the mark & getting supplies in ASAP.

We on the Gulf coast of the US have breathed a sigh of relief that we escaped a year without hurricanes. I certainly feel for those in the Pacific islands effected by the recent tsunamis. Rogue waves are nasty things.

Many thanks to the rescue and relief workers that are working to get there quickly. And will continue to work hard and methodically to help out, rescue, clean up, and rebuild.

[redrhodie]

Dear Newbie Cycling Friend who chooses not to heed my advice about properly inflating tires,

Yeah, I inflate my tires just for show. I'm making all the benefits of it up. It really doesn't make my ride faster and handling safer. I just do it so I can waste some time before going out for my dreaded ride. :rolleyes:

Sincerely,
the one on the other end of the line saying "I told you so" when you get your pinch flat.

[bmccasland]

Dear Mosquitos,
I know you sneak in on Nala's fur when I let her back in the house after her evening bathroom run.. but would you please stop biting me on my thighs and behind my knees while I sleep??? I know a small little critter like yourself has to eat too, and if I was awake, I'd kill you, but waking up with itchy welts is driving me mad. :mad:

[Flybye]

*No insult intended to residents of southeastern Idaho. I love it there. Except when the car dies and home is 600 miles away and he has a friend with him he has to get home.

No offense taken :D

[Eden]

Dear Mosquitos,
I know you sneak in on Nala's fur when I let her back in the house after her evening bathroom run.. but would you please stop biting me on my thighs and behind my knees while I sleep??? I know a small little critter like yourself has to eat too, and if I was awake, I'd kill you, but waking up with itchy welts is driving me mad. :mad:

If you end up having to make a decision between Seattle and Walla Walla - we have very, very few mosquitos over here on the west side :D (I'm from the east coast and when we moved here I thought people were *crazy* because no one has screens - turns out you don't actually need them unless you are needing to keep cats in)

[Biciclista]

um, screens are good to keep out yellow jackets and flies though! you're right, I was surprised to find no one around here had screens either when i moved in!

[bmccasland]

If you end up having to make a decision between Seattle and Walla Walla - we have very, very few mosquitos over here on the west side :D (I'm from the east coast and when we moved here I thought people were *crazy* because no one has screens - turns out you don't actually need them unless you are needing to keep cats in)

Funny you should mention Walla Walla - I still haven't heard from them.


um, screens are good to keep out yellow jackets and flies though! you're right, I was surprised to find no one around here had screens either when i moved in!

Screens are good. Keep kitties in, yellow jacket OUT! Mosquitoes are bad enough, yellow jackets are worse. Epi pen is my friend.

[cylegoddess]

Dear Cycling goddess,

thank you for that nice man who fixed my flat( even though it pinched and blew out again. It wasnt his fault, it was too windy to do it properly.)Also those crazy group ride people who thought it was a good idea to ride in a blowing gale with hail and sleet. It was fun!

Also triple big good stuff to my good friend who sent me a message , telling me that the bike race I was sad I couldnt go to, started near a point I could actually get to( rather than in bloody whoop - whoop, with no buses near the time I needed ) and please send the local govt a big hug , cos they just started a bike bus about the time I need to get a lift to race, so I can actually ride in it without getting cardiac arrest.
love
your devoted follower
Kerry

[annielynn]

Dear Roof Repair Estimate Man -

Thanks for showing up 1.5 hours early for our appointment last night. That was so nice of you to call. :rolleyes: I really didn't want to get a good ride in last night before dark when my kiddos were saftely at my mom's house. Because you were so nice to sit on the front porch and talk my ear off, I only got to ride for 18 whole minutes. Sorry that we will never see you again. ;)

[OakLeaf]

Annie, how long ya been in Florida? You're lucky if a repair person shows up at all...

[annielynn]

You are so right!! I have lived here since 1984. We just recently purchased this house (our first) and the repair people have been coming out of the wood works. My doorbell rings all the darn time. I am sure that they will be back. ;-)

[Owlie]

Dear Ankle--
You are officially warned (again). Stop hurting. You haven't given me trouble for three years--and that was when I was fencing regularly. What have I done to you? Behave, or we're taking you to health services. Talk to right big toe about how that went.

[cylegoddess]

Dear Cycle Goddess,
can you please send me a magic faiery to take me home from the Tour de femme( If I ride) as I found out that the bus I could ride home on, doesnt start for another 20 days after! #$%^
I really cant( as much as I want to) ride to the bus stop, get a part way ride, ride to the race, race 22 km, then ride to the bus, then ride home from the stop. I tried that , by riding to work, then working all day on feet and then riding home. I almost threw up and nearly fainted 3 km from home. I really dont like that much.:eek:

And I swear I will never eat sugar again:rolleyes:( I hope) if you will make me better from Chronic fatigue, for Aus Ride to Work day four days from now. I know I am allergic to it but its...its... hard! I really need to be better, as I am a sponsor, there is free fod in the park next to my work and I can check out all the cool bikes and hot guys legs:rolleyes:, while I stuff my face full of bananas!!

love
your devoted follower
Kerry

[PinkBike]

dear cough/sore throat/congestion/headache/sluggishness/achiness;

Enough!!

[Tropical Scream]

To the dear teenage boy who said, "Go granny go" as I rode by this morning. Thank you.

You're right. I'm old enough to be a granny. I'm overweight. I was in my granny gear. I didn't have enough breath left to snark at you.

But you've inspired me. One of these days I'm going to be a stronger rider. And I'm going to be watching for you. :)

[snapdragen]

Dear coaches, captains and mentors. Hope you're having a great time in Istanbul, while those of us trying to train without your guidance get ready for the Nike, Big Sur and Honolulu marathons. What would make you think it was OK to volunteer to work with the fall season team, then concentrate on your own marathon training and disregard the team. You canceled our track training sessions two months early, so you could go to Turkey.

I'm sure the Shoes and Gear clinic would have been really helpful to our new team members at the beginning of the season. Why is it scheduled for the end of October, when most of us have completed our events?

Yeah, I'm throwing you all under the bus on the end of season evaluation.

[Zen]

Dear Stinkbugs,

Get out of my car! Go back to wherever, you invasive stinky creatures!

[cylegoddess]

Dear work MGMT,

Whatever died in our office ceiling over the weekend - WONT GO AWAY! Its dead, it smells - why wont you send someone to fetch it?:eek::confused:
I had to clean up blood, from that poor lady that fell down the escalator, :(BECAUSE SOMEONE LEFT IT ALL OVER FLOOR, smearing it with paper towels and hiding it with a fixture - ewwww!! I cleaned it up and I am not mgmt and not first aid!

Im not going up there and getting it out and i:mad:f I have to, Im leaving it in the MGMT OFFICE!!!
I MEAN IT.
I love you guys but you suck.

signed disgruntled co worker

[Tuckervill]

Dear me.

Pick something, already!

Me.

[cylegoddess]

Dear MGMT,

we still want that rat removed. Im sure that over the weekend, it will get worse.
So we have installed fans to blow the smell into the hallway and thus, out the door to the selling floor.:D

I am hoping its moldering ceiling insulation from the crappy builders who made this place( and indeed ,the rest of the mall that periodically floods).

This sucks!
signed disgruntled co worker

[mtbdarby]

Dear LBS,
When I asked if you could remove my crank you said sure. When I asked you if you wanted to give me a ticket for my frame (to charge me) you said no - I'll take care of it. So why did you charge me $42 to remove it without calling me?! You knew it was on ebay and now I'm loosing money on it. I am angry - but mostly at myself for not making sure it was crystal clear. I'm peeved at you for not calling to make sure it was ok to take it off at that price knowing I was selling it via auction.

Lesson Learned

[Biciclista]

To the moron in the large crew cab truck:

Dear Fellow employee
I am so glad that you are so excited about coming to work that you had to pass me this morning. I was, after all, going the speed limit but you were in such a rush to do your job that you passed me anyway, on that blind curve. I can't tell you how surprised I was when a scant 200 feet later you parked!
You should know that I love to ride my bike in the plant because the speed limit is either 5 mph or 15 mph and I can ride the speed limit (yeah, I know, LIMIT means I can ride slower than that too, but I digress) just like the rest of the traffic. I found it amusing as well that before you could turn off the road to park you had to slow down for a forklift - he was going the speed limit too.
I really hope you pursue the rest of your work day with the same enthusiasm

yours truly,
that bicyclist you passed this morning.

[redrhodie]

Dear biking lady who pulled out in front of my car this afternoon,

If I were not a cyclist myself, paying extra attention to you due to your unique riding style, (that's me being kind :rolleyes:) you would most likely have been run over. Of course, that probably would have meant your end, since you weren't wearing a helmet. I do appreciate the embarrassed "sorry" you cried out after your blunder. We all have to start somewhere. We all make mistakes. I only hope you live to ride another day.

Next time you see a deer in the field on the other side of the road and decide to make a u-turn to get a better look, check for oncoming vehicles first. Get a helmet, and have someone who knows how to ride a bike give you a lesson. Right now, you're a hazard.

[cylegoddess]

Dear self,

next time you choose to be so ill, please dont pick the cabin at the top of the hill.

[Becky]

Dear Today,

Stop being so crappy. It's only 9:00am. I'm not happy that my parents need to have their olllld dog (from when I was in high school) put down, and I'm not happy that my insulin pump threw an error code and is being replaced under warranty *again*.

Please tell me that Tomorrow will be my friend.

Becky

[cylegoddess]

Dear Universe,
thank you for my awesome boyfriend and and my gal pal Sal who sends me cards from her vacations when I am sick.

But please, keep the earwigs out of my bed!! ( How did it get in?)

love
Bike goddes
ps please let me be well by next weekend, so I can ride in the Tour deFemme, its only 22 km . I did a yoga class and a 12 km ride today so If I dont get sick, I may be well by then.

[tulip]

Dear Pajarito,
Thank you for being such a great friend when I lived with you for those first 10 years of your too-short parrot life. You were my one and only pet and a comforting companion. You were really special. We taught you Spanish for some reason. It seemed easier for a parrot to learn than English. "Hola Pajarito," you would say whenever anyone came in the room. Such a sweet bird, such a sweet, sweet bird.

Do you remember when you were a chick and you broke your leg from the band, and the vet put a little bitty cast on? You used that cast to hide your favorite nuts so you could eat them later on. Or the time that you flew off my shoulder because I forgot you were there and I strode out on the front porch? Zoom, you were gone. We tracked you all day, and I thought you were surely lost then, especially when those grackles were chasing you across the sky. My heart was nearly broken. But you swooped down from that big tree at dusk, close enough so we could get ahold of you again.

I'm so very, very sad that you died today, particularly in a violent way. But I take comfort that you were your wonderful adorable parrot-self until the end. I hated to leave you, but I know you had a good and loving home until the end. I miss you, and I will think of you every time I see a dogwood tree.

Your always loving compai,
Tulip

[OakLeaf]

((((((Tulip)))))) I'm so sorry about Pajarito.

[Blueberry]

((((((Tulip))))))

So very, very sorry:(

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

So sad. I'm sorry for your loss.

[crazycanuck]

:( Sorry to hear about Mr Pajarito

[pfunk12]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Tulip.

[deedolce]

[[[hugs]]] Tulip! What a special bird. I love the hiding nuts in his cast story!

[deedolce]

Dear Fate,

Please lay off the bf. Enough is enough. Having his truck and UHaul, loaded with what few belongings he has left, ready to head here and having it almost towed away is over the top! He paid $80 that he really couldn't afford to have it not taken away. (Thank you to my little angel that niggled him to go out at that moment, as the driver was about to leave. *whew*.) Let the bf get here safely, driving without the sleep he needed because since he had nowhere to park it, and had to leave TONIGHT or be in danger of it being towed away while he slept.

Special brownie points to his brother-in-law who is the coolest guy on Earth, and has helped the bf in so many ways!

Sincerely,
Me

[bambu101]

Tulip-So sorry about Parajito. I have loved birds for years, and have a 12 year old Senegal parrot, so I am especially moved by your tribute to your little friend.

May he live on in your heart and memory.

[NoNo]

What a lovely rememberance, tulip. So sorry for your loss xx

[TsPoet]

{{{Tulip}}}}
I, too have a Poicephalus, Pepper is 10. Pepper is fully flighted and divebombs the dogs, some day one of them is going to retaliate, but Pois are snots by nature and Pepper won't stop. (S)he has also gotten out once and flew around the neighborhood - which is all my way of saying you gave Pajarito a wonderful life, and that's the most important thing!
If you don't let them live, nothing ever happens to them. If you let them live, sometimes things go terribly wrong. But, the life is the important part.

[tulip]

Thanks, everybody. I really appreciate your virtual hugs. He was a great little bird. I just wish he had met a more peaceful ending. But he has that now. Thanks again.

[bmccasland]

Dear people in the Seattle Personnel office - would you please process the paperwork and make notifications / offers? This waiting game is driving me crazy.

[staceysue]

Dear Father, Son, and Holy Spirit:

Please, please, please, please, please push my soil scientist application through the forest service and grant me the job! It's only 10 miles from my house verses the 67 miles I commute every day, and it would be so nice to work with people from my own community. I'd love to make some friends I can actually do things with! Although I truly appreciate the opportunities you've given me in nursing, I want to make use of my biology degree and research experience. Working outside in the beautiful forest you've created here would be a blessing I'd be grateful for every day of my life, and I'd have a job I could stay in until long past retirement age. I would be a good steward of the earth and love her and keep her!

Amen!

[deedolce]

Dear Daughter,

Yes, we have sex. I'm sorry you heard. We were quiet, but the bed squeaks more since we moved it, and I, obviously, wasn't thinking at the time. You ARE almost 21, but I'm sure at any age the idea is disturbing. Sigh....but posting 'OMFG SHOOT ME NOW' on Facebook? I hope you recover, and don't need therapy.

Mom

[HillSlugger]

Dear Daughter,

Yes, we have sex. I'm sorry you heard. We were quiet, but the bed squeaks more since we moved it, and I, obviously, wasn't thinking at the time. You ARE almost 21, but I'm sure at any age the idea is disturbing. Sigh....but posting 'OMFG SHOOT ME NOW' on Facebook? I hope you recover, and don't need therapy.

Mom

Oh, that's funny!

[Pax]

Dear Powers That Be,

Why on gods green earth do you think it's appropriate to offer a vote on civil rights? If that course of action had been followed in the 60's African Americans would still be waiting for rights. YOU DON'T VOTE ON CIVIL RIGHTS!!

Signed,

Unbelievably disappointed

[Biciclista]

Dear Citizens of the Northwestern corner of the state of Washington

Thank you for voting in great numbers for Ref. 71!

For once I can be proud of one of these referendum votes. Now my friends can have some domestic partnership rights!

[staceysue]

Dear Daughter,

Yes, we have sex. I'm sorry you heard. We were quiet, but the bed squeaks more since we moved it, and I, obviously, wasn't thinking at the time. You ARE almost 21, but I'm sure at any age the idea is disturbing. Sigh....but posting 'OMFG SHOOT ME NOW' on Facebook? I hope you recover, and don't need therapy.

Mom


ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah this is soooooooooooo funny. I'm sorry. I think I just peed myself. She put it on FACEBOOK??? ROFLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[pfunk12]

I almost spit out my soup!


Dear Daughter,

Yes, we have sex. I'm sorry you heard. We were quiet, but the bed squeaks more since we moved it, and I, obviously, wasn't thinking at the time. You ARE almost 21, but I'm sure at any age the idea is disturbing. Sigh....but posting 'OMFG SHOOT ME NOW' on Facebook? I hope you recover, and don't need therapy.

Mom

[Biciclista]

I almost spit out my soup!

I know. i didn't want to say anything though because the OP was embarrassed. but it's a classic Facebook thing. :cool::cool::cool::cool::D

[NbyNW]

Dear Powers That Be,

Why on gods green earth do you think it's appropriate to offer a vote on civil rights? If that course of action had been followed in the 60's African Americans would still be waiting for rights. YOU DON'T VOTE ON CIVIL RIGHTS!!

Signed,

Unbelievably disappointed

Amen sister.

[OakLeaf]

Dear Supreme Court,

You're the only bastion this country has against mob rule.

Please start taking that responsibility seriously, the way your predecessors did 50 years ago.

[tulip]

Dear Daughter,

Yes, we have sex. I'm sorry you heard. We were quiet, but the bed squeaks more since we moved it, and I, obviously, wasn't thinking at the time. You ARE almost 21, but I'm sure at any age the idea is disturbing. Sigh....but posting 'OMFG SHOOT ME NOW' on Facebook? I hope you recover, and don't need therapy.

Mom

So, I guess the UHaul made it, eh? :)

[OakLeaf]

Dear propane company,

We checked the gauge last week and it was at 13%. I don't know why you don't let us re-order until it's below 10%, and I don't know why it's below 0% now. We haven't been using that much propane.

I know it's good for me to HTFU and take sponge baths and wash my hair in 50° water like I did when I was a kid.

But I'm running out of wool. I don't mind wearing the same wool piece around the house for three or four days in a row, but I'd just as rather wear something clean when I go out.

So please hurry, okay?

Signed,

Wool Weenie

PS - Try not to wind up in the moat again. It's embarrassing for you to have to call your boss for a tow, and it's a PITA for us.

[deedolce]

ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah this is soooooooooooo funny. I'm sorry. I think I just peed myself. She put it on FACEBOOK??? ROFLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Thanks, I actually need this! I was mortified, but to hear from others that might have been through similar stuff and can laugh about it really helps! :p

Yep, Tulip, the UHaul made it. :D If it weren't for my dd HATING the idea of my be involved at all, it would be way fun. That's what I get for holding off getting involved while she and her brother were growing up (ie...19 years.) She never even had to consider the idea before. And this is what I get for my troubles! :rolleyes:

[Selkie]

Your DD should be happy that her parents love each other and have a healthy marriage/relationship. Sorry, I just had to say it.

I don't understand Facebook but then again, that's just me. I know people use it to keep in touch--I'm more of an old fashioned type who actually enjoys writing and receiving letters in the mail.

[Selkie]

Twenty-something girl -

You need to familiarize yourself with the rules about swimming in a crowded pool. Neither I nor the elderly gent with whom I was splitting a lane appreciated your joining us without letting us know. You almost swam into the gent, and your excuse that "I saw him" doesn't wash, sweetie. The guy is in his late 70s or early 80s. Before you join people in lane, you need to let EVERY PERSON IN THE LANE know and ask if we can circle swim. You didn't say boo to either of us.

Yes, I gave you a very loud azz chewing which attracted a lot of attention, which you deserved, particularly when you started arguing with me, acting like you knew what you were doing (trust me, you didn't). The IPOD you were wearing did not help matters, particularly since you kept passing me and the older man without letting us know.

I wasn't surprised that you unilaterally decided that we would split the lane after the old guy gave up and got out of the pool. I've never seen you before and I hope to never encounter you again. That said, if you ever ever try to get in my lane again, I will politely suggest you swim in a medium lane. If you ever act unsafely again, I will go to the pool manager so he can deal with you.

You are too fast for the slow lane. You are rude and unsafe. Karma, of course, will "reward" you for the disrespectful way you treat others. It's not all about you, sweetheart.

[cylegoddess]

Great Goddess,

Can you please send my Best friend lots of good things? His girlfriend just left him and he still is considerate enough to buy me a new 2X cycling top because it was on sale at 50 % off, and he knows I love them.
Im so glad he is my BF.

love
K

[Owlie]

Dear "friends"--
You were friends with both of us before we started dating. Generally speaking, it is polite to at least extend an invitation to both members of a couple, ESPECIALLY if both consider you a friend.

[cylegoddess]

Dear GP,
You suck.Sorry to be so blunt but your attitude is less than bedside.In fact every time I go to see you, only because I cant get to another doctor - you are patronizing arrogant and cold. Plus giving someone with a compromised immune system, and several other chronic aliments who has trouble even just getting thru some days, two days to recover from a a nasty sinus chest infection , is just negligent. I know you said, you cant give more than two days because the health people will be on you possible fraud- but I have had more days from EVERY other doctor I have ever gone to. I think you just want that extra 25 bucks when I have to come in two more times, just to get on my feet. Im never coming back even if I have to drag my poor tired suck body next time, on the half hour bus ride to the next one( who treated me a damn sight better.)When I told you that you should keep in mind that I have diagnosed with a compromised immune system, have Chronic fatigue and other things that may affect my recovery time - you said - you making this hard for me to treat!! No thanks lady.
UN -Sincerely,
Cycle goddess

[Owlie]

Dear body--
Get with the program already, will you? Do one thing or the other, and stop this hemming and hawing! While you're at it, will you stop craving chocolate? Toblerone is delicious, but it does not constitute dinner!

[Blueberry]

Dear Co-Worker:

Please stop bringing your kid's germs to work. This is the 2nd time in 6 weeks I've gotten sick 2 days after you showed up sick. At least I didn't get pink eye when you came to work with that - twice. You have sick time - use it. I'm a temp - I don't have sick time (and after an emergency hot water replacement, can't afford to not get paid), plus I have a huge deadline next Friday. Please???

[Biciclista]

Dear Mother of Weather
It's very nice of you to send your freezing cold winds down to temperate mild Seattle. It's been fun to see below freezing temperatures day after day this week. But it's not fair if we never actually get any snow out of the deal. What's up with that?

Sincerely
one very cold and dry
Mimi

[IFjane]

Mimi, I am sure there are some folks in Iowa and points beyond who would be very happy to send you some! :D

[Owlie]

Dear BF--
I love you dearly, but I do not have to do things the way that you think they should be done because that's the way you did them. By "things", I of course mean "anything related to my bike." I don't know if you know this, but the way you did it is not the only way to do it, and it may certainly not be the way that I should do things. I'm rather more risk-averse than you are, and in the long run, while clipless seems a bit scary, the prospect of using the toe cages that came with the bike scares me more. The only limiting factor here is money (mine) and the time to practice with the hypothetical new pedals. So, I'm taking myself over to the bike shop whether you like it or not. So there. :P

[bmccasland]

Dear Drivers out there...
Please let me get home safely from N. Alabama. I know you can't drive on icy roads, so just stay off them. I want out of here, and therefore that requires driving, tomorrow.

[copperlegend]

Dear Manager,

One day I will say no to working yet another weekend project. One day I will say no to a trip/project nobody else wants. One day I will refuse to 'put out another fire' when an incompetent co-worker FUBARs something up.

For now, I'll just remind myself I'm lucky to have a job at all.

Giving you fair warning,
over-worked systems engineer

[PinkBike]

Dear Tuesday,
Yesterday I paid a $181.50 fine from photo radar (my gps said i was going 75, AZ DOT said I was going 76, whoops);
then I find nobody ever processed my insurance payment I made over the phone on 12/31 - they claim no responsibility - I had to start over with a New Policy and it is now $152 more per year;
plus I get a rebate rejection for my cricket broadband mobile - they said i didnt send a receipt, i have proof i did, so the process starts over but wait! i never got this month's bill so i paid 1 day late so now my rebate is voided.
What a day.
Basically, 1 mph cost me $181.50, 1 day cost me $60 ($50 rebate + $10 late fee); 1 week (due 1/6, paid 1/12) cost me $152.
Now it's Wednesday and it's going to rain. I'm going back to bed.

[Catrin]

Dear concerned friend,

I know you are concerned about my well-being, but there is no need to continually warn me about the dangers of cycling at my age and acting shocked when you saw the bike rack on my car. I understand that you and your husband are totally against having a bike rack (though you no longer ride bicycles) but that is no reason to go ballistic on me when you saw mine. I am not your child, and you are certainly not in charge of my finances. Do you really think that all it will take to turn me against cycling is to tell me for the nth time about what can happen to a woman out on her own? What is up with that? I don't think that this has anything to do with me at all...

[Crankin]

Oy, Catrin, I would get rid of that friend. Anyone who thinks a 50 year old woman is old and shouldn't be doing something alone is nuts.
There.

[bmccasland]

Catrin - you keep ridin' girl! So long as your joints allow you. Riding is fun. Piffle on said "friend".

[Biciclista]

Dear Coworkers
I know that you are just trying to help, but suggesting that a cyclist riding in the rain
is doing a disservice to his children is a bit much. Every story you can tell me about cyclists getting killed by cars I can match with motorists killing themselves or other motorists with cars.
You're not helping. I'm not impressed. And i'm still going to ride my bike..

[crazycanuck]

Dear Uncle J,

Tonight I received news that you're not going to make it & are in very poor condition in hospital. :( I know you've battled Lupus for 20+yrs as a result of your time weapons testing in the military. You weened yourself off oxygen but then had to go back on a few years ago.

I will always remember your smile & the really bad humour :rolleyes: ;)

Thank you for being such a cool uncle. I'm happy we caught up on our trip to Canada in 08.

Your neice C

[Catrin]

Oy, Catrin, I would get rid of that friend. Anyone who thinks a 50 year old woman is old and shouldn't be doing something alone is nuts.
There.


Catrin - you keep ridin' girl! So long as your joints allow you. Riding is fun. Piffle on said "friend".

Sadly, that is pretty much what I have determined. We've been friends for years, but once I started taking my fitness, weight, and health seriously she, and a couple of others, have had this kind of reaction. Who would have thought? I have heard of men sometimes behaving this way to their wife or girlfriend out of insecurity, but this blind-sided me :confused:

So, I will continue to have fun - and every day that I work out, or play on my bike, the better and younger I feel, and better friends will be found along the way :D

[Catrin]

Dear Uncle J,

Tonight I received news that you're not going to make it & are in very poor condition in hospital. :( I know you've battled Lupus for 20+yrs as a result of your time weapons testing in the military. You weened yourself off oxygen but then had to go back on a few years ago.

I will always remember your smile & the really bad humour :rolleyes: ;)

Thank you for being such a cool uncle. I'm happy we caught up on our trip to Canada in 08.

Your neice C

I am sorry to read this, it is hard news for you and your family...Cool uncles are great and it is good that you will have good memories of him.

[Crankin]

Catrin,

This will happen more than you expect. Some women get very angry when they see someone else doing something for themselves. They are really angry at themselves, because they know what you are doing is right. I have a couple of friends who "tolerate" me and what they consider to be my eccentricities (exercising and eating right), but if I hear one more time that "I can't do what you do," I will scream.
You are now a member of a minority group. Seriously, I feel this way more and more. If it wasn't for my cycling friends, it would be awful.

[PamNY]

Catrin,

This will happen more than you expect. Some women get very angry when they see someone else doing something for themselves. They are really angry at themselves, because they know what you are doing is right. I have a couple of friends who "tolerate" me and what they consider to be my eccentricities (exercising and eating right), but if I hear one more time that "I can't do what you do," I will scream.
You are now a member of a minority group. Seriously, I feel this way more and more. If it wasn't for my cycling friends, it would be awful.

Crankin, do you really find this to be true? I find myself more and more isolated from certain people -- and yet all I'm doing is having fun on my bike! I'm not a super athlete; 40 miles is a big trip for me. The other things I do -- eating right, not drinking or smoking -- are just because I want to feel better and stronger. I'm truly not moralistic about any of this, and I don't like people who try to be the health police. But that doesn't seem to matter.

[HillSlugger]

Crankin, do you really find this to be true? I find myself more and more isolated from certain people -- and yet all I'm doing is having fun on my bike! I'm not a super athlete; 40 miles is a big trip for me. The other things I do -- eating right, not drinking or smoking -- are just because I want to feel better and stronger. I'm truly not moralistic about any of this, and I don't like people who try to be the health police. But that doesn't seem to matter.

Not with biking/fitness but several years ago I made a huge positive change in my life and my "friends" cut me out of the circle. I figure that means they really weren't my friends.

[Crankin]

Pam,
I wouldn't call myself a super athlete, either, in that I don't compete in any of the sports I do and as far as cycling goes, I am too slow to be with a fast group and too fast to be with a slow group...
I do really mean this. I just happen to be very disciplined and I have been since I started exercising in 1978. I don't *ever* talk about my "discipline," but when one of my non-exercising friends asks me what I'm doing/or did on the weekend or on one of my days off, I invariably will tell them, "Oh, I went snow shoeing, or I rode X number of miles." My life really does revolve around cycling and the winter sports I do. They don't want to hear about it. Sure, we go out to eat a lot, have a theatre subscription, watch an occasional movie. I read a lot, too. But, when it comes down to it, outdoor activity is my life. When I was a gym rat,it was "acceptable." That's what woman do; it didn't interfere with getting up early on a Sunday and going to hear a speaker at my synagogue, or doing volunteer work. That all went by the wayside when we both got into riding.
We spend a lot of time with another couple who ride, x country ski, and snow shoe with us. We go on vacation together and do the theatre thing together, too. I am doing what I want to do, also. I hate being socially isolated and I've always had an active social life. It's been a rare Saturday night that my DH and I have stayed home and we've been married 30 years. If people think that I am the "health police" by virtue of my lifestyle, well, I guess they will think it. I've talked about this with others in my cycling group, who are all older than 40 and have lived this lifestyle for many years. I couldn't begin to approximate some of the stuff they do, but I understand it and only give them kudos. But frankly, I have found that people, especially women, view this as being selfish, when it really is self care.

[PamNY]

Crankin and MDHillSlug, thanks for your thoughts. This is all something new for me. On the bright side, I am lucky to have some true, good friends. The woman who has been my biggest biking support is not active at all, but she "gets" that hello! -- we are not all alike. She has patiently listened to me discuss every fear and frustration, and celebrated with me over every mile and muscle fiber.

[bmccasland]

Dear Secretary in the Ex Office,
After finding a minor error in 26 letters, which I fixed at your direction, then, you decide that it should be a colon after the Dear So and So instead of a comma, and having me redo all 26 letters fAGAIN, then finding another minor error (spacing between paragraphs is that important?) :mad: and having me do the letters again :mad: , why don't you have me send YOU the electronic files so you can fix them? I have other projects to work on. One trip to the Ex Office you were draped over you desk lounging, another trip you were chatting up a visitor, last little bitty thing you wanted changing, you had someone bring the file folder to me. Do you not realize that these letters have to be signed TODAY, and the documents that go with them have to go out TODAY, by LAW?? Your nit-pickiness is beyond rediculous.

In answer to your question, No I don't have a secretary. Those of us in the trenches have to do our own work. If commas to colons, and spacing between paragraphs, or dashes by the page number is that important, why don't you fix the letters? I've seen that you're terribly over worked. :mad::mad:

[Pax]

Dear Body,

If I promise to try and ease up a bit, will you promise to stop breaking? I'm really getting tired of physical therapy.

Thanks

[Selkie]

Beth - Sounds like herself is on a power trip. Be interesting to know if she's as picky with the men. Isn't it her job to fix stuff like that?

Lack of secretarial/admin support for anyone not in a high level mgt job seems to be typical in the USG. Makes sense because most of us have become self-sufficient. What is annoying, however, is thatt some (not all) of the secretaries one encounters are Divas--as in, I'm important because I work for xxxxx.

[sundial]

Aw gee, Beth. There's nothing like working for a micro manager. :rolleyes: :p :eek: :mad:

[Wahine]

Thank you so much for a perfect day. I had a great ski with a good friend, perfect snow conditions and great views of Mount Hood. Then a fantastic lunch followed by an excellent recovery ride with amazing views. Then a beer on tap at the local watering hole that was brewed with love just down the road. Finally, a quiet evening with good food and a great roomie. Thank you.

[Owlie]

Dear BF--
I'm glad we're as bad at saying goodnight when we're 2000 miles apart as we are when we're in the same room.
I miss you. :(

[Wahine]

Owlie - I hear ya. Right now I'm doing the long distance thing too. My BF is still recovering from a quick trip to Scotland for a race and I can't seem to time it so that I can catch him on the phone when he's awake. It sucks to say goodnight on the phone. But I'll take that over not saying goodnight at all.

[rubywagon]

Dear misinformed person,

As a woman, who has taken time out of her career to stay home with my kids, I find it very obnoxious that you say to me "Oh you don't work?" I do work. I just don't get compensated monetarily for it, and it is a darn hard job.

[crazycanuck]

Dear Australia Day Revellers,

First off, those Australian Flag car window things aren't cool. They make me cringe because most of the people who have them also have a " F Off We're full" Sticker...:mad: Just not funny folks...

Next..Should you wish to get pissed at the beach & leave your bottles behind...:mad:

Do you mind not ruining it for the rest of the normal individuals! IE-People that don't have to be off thier trees to enjoy the day.

Thank you...I'm staying far away from the roads today!

[Maxxxie]

+infinity, Crazycanuck. Yesterday's news was full of dummies on the p!ss, screaming at the TV cameras. Yep, folks, that's what being an Australian is all about. :rolleyes:

Max

[bmccasland]

Dear head and neck,
Couldn't you wait 24 more hours before you had your temper tantrum? I know these past couple of weeks have been somewhat tense, and I know you've been storing up the migraine, plotting your attack. But I really really didn't need it TODAY :( I have a meeting to go to, another panic project. It never stops. :eek: Saturday we'll sleep in, if I can bribe Bonnie cat. And on Sunday, it's death by chocolate.

[OakLeaf]

Dear husband,

I love you desperately. But if each of us caring for our parents means we're unable to be there for each other, I think maybe we should just separate now, so that I don't have to deal with that loss on top of anything else I may need in the future.

[Tuckervill]

Oh, sad. :(

How about just a marriage sabbatical until things are better?

Karen

[spindizzy]

Dear misinformed person,

As a woman, who has taken time out of her career to stay home with my kids, I find it very obnoxious that you say to me "Oh you don't work?" I do work. I just don't get compensated monetarily for it, and it is a darn hard job.

It is the hardest job I have ever done. (and I worked in an ED for 22 years!) Give the stare (the "I can't believe you said that" one), a half-knowing smile (the "you have no idea" one) and raise an eyebrow..(the "you are a dumb a**" one)...then walk away.

[rubywagon]

It is the hardest job I have ever done. (and I worked in an ED for 22 years!) Give the stare (the "I can't believe you said that" one), a half-knowing smile (the "you have no idea" one) and raise an eyebrow..(the "you are a dumb a**" one)...then walk away.

*taking notes*

[lph]

(((OakLeaf))) ! :(

[OakLeaf]

thanks... I feel some better now that we're both HOME and I've been able to tell him what's been upsetting me for the past three weeks...

but the bottom line is we need to define where the boundaries are with our parents, which is not easy when they're in poor health and honestly may not live that much longer. :( I don't know what the solution is.

How do you balance your marriages with the needs of your extended families - especially when there's a long physical distance? Anyone have any tips?

[lph]

To be honest, I don't. I don't have parents who are that poorly yet, but the bottom line is that I have a much closer relationship with my dh than with either of my parents, and I just don't feel the need to be there much for them. At some point I will have to, since I'm my mother's only living child, but she lives abroad half of the year and chooses not to see us much even when she is in the country, so we're fairly distant and I don't feel obliged to be a very "good" daughter.

It sounds like a tough situation, my sympathies!

[Crankin]

Oakleaf, I would have to be on LPH's side. I know it's not the common opinion, but I really believe your marriage *comes first.* Before parents, before kids, before anything else, in terms of relationships. An elderly parent should not be the breaking point for your marriage. You have the right idea in sitting down and discussing the boundaries with your DH. I would suggest also, getting some outside feedback. I don't know if you have siblings, but having a discussion with a social worker/counselor/therapist who deals in elder issues would be warranted. Your DH should be included and vice-versa. Sometimes, we are not aware of services that are available. I am going through this with my dad now. He is fairly healthy, but there are other issues. My brother lives in the same city as him and has always been the caretaker, but he is sick of it. I hooked him up with the Jewish Family Services Elder Resources program, which is quite comprehensive. I am sure other family service agencies have similar programs. My DH had an emergency type of situation, where both of his parents became incapacitated and had to be hospitalized and moved into assisted care within a 3 day window. He flew to Phx and the 4 siblings found a social worker who dealt with just these issues. They had the apartment cleaned out, stuff put in storage, and the parents' medical situation under control in 3 days.
I feel for you, but I would not even consider harming my marriage for a parent. You can help, but you should not stop your life.

[channlluv]

thanks... I feel some better now that we're both HOME and I've been able to tell him what's been upsetting me for the past three weeks...

but the bottom line is we need to define where the boundaries are with our parents, which is not easy when they're in poor health and honestly may not live that much longer. :( I don't know what the solution is.

How do you balance your marriages with the needs of your extended families - especially when there's a long physical distance? Anyone have any tips?


I've recently been through this with my grandparents, mother, and aunts. As the oldest granddaughter, I'm sometimes called on to "sub" for the primary care provider when I can get back home (I live on the opposite side of the continent, but last year I visited five times, including six full weeks during the summer).

About two years ago, my grandparents were forced to move in with my mother (their oldest) because they could no longer care for themselves. They'd tried - they have a small condo of their own - but my mother and my aunt who live nearby were getting worn out carrying meals to them several times per week, and being called on every time they had a doctor visit or whatever. Granddaddy wasn't driving anymore, and it wasn't safe for Grandma, either. Granddaddy started falling a lot, so they moved in with my mother, a former nurse, and her elderly husband. So she had three elderly people to care for, and she wasn't in the best health herself.

That lasted a few months before she just couldn't handle all three of them anymore, so they moved to my aunt's house with her husband. Now, they both work full time from home, and have to travel frequently, and they had a lot of blame for my mother for not being able to manage the parents since she doesn't work at all. They did their best to care for both of them, but it began to be a huge strain on their marriage, so much so that my uncle became mean to my grandparents (although he didn't see it that way, but my grandmother did - Granddaddy was too out of it by then to notice anything). I said to my mother that caretaker aunt should not have to choose between her parents and her husband.

It was getting really, really ugly between my aunt and my mother, and my other aunt, who lives on the other side of the state and had kind of relinquished any decision making or physical contributions to the care of her parents, although she did come to visit and give my caretaking aunt and her husband a break every now and then, but there was so much bad blood between them at that point, she didn't feel welcome in their house at all.

Granddaddy was falling more, so Grandma finally relented and allowed the daughters to put him into a nursing home. She'd fought it up to then because she felt like she was failing in her marriage vows - love, honor, cherish 'til death and all that.

Grandma moved back in with my mother immediately after that, and then started the weekly commute to visit him in the nursing home, which was about 45 minutes away.

This went on for five months, until he succumbed to pneumonia and was moved to the hospital where they discovered that he had cancer and was moved to hospice. He passed away a week ago Wednesday.

Caretaker aunt still had so much anger in her that she wouldn't speak to faraway aunt without seething, and finally exploded at her in front of me.

I've always been the mediator type, but I couldn't calm her down. I tried. Faraway aunt left caretaker aunt's house upset, and I stood there and let her and her husband vent. And boy, did they need to vent.

I listened. I heard them. I took some of what they had to say back to the other family members, and faraway aunt saw how much it upset me to have them all fighting so much, and she made the effort to go see caretaker aunt and try to talk things out. They were able to start working through years of bad feelings on the part of caretaker aunt. Faraway aunt is much more zen about everything, doesn't hold grudges or anger or get upset about much.

Of course, there's a lot more to the story, but I share this because I've seen how caring for elderly parents can tear at a marriage, and how not dealing with the stresses of it can tear at an extended family. I don't know if my aunts will ever really care about each other again.

You should not have to choose between your parents at your husband. They are your family by birth. He is your family by choice. You chose him. He chose you.

It would have been better if my grandparents had gone to a nursing home where they could live together from the beginning, in the care of trained professionals, as soon as they could not care for themselves. As heartless as that may sound, as uncaring, it would have been better for all of my family if they had made that choice instead of trying to live with their daughters and their husbands. Unless you're trained in geriatric care, having your parents at home when they need more than just having meals prepared or a ride now and then is just too much of a hardship, especially if you have your own children who need you and your own careers to think about.

Not all families may go through what mine did, but Oakleaf, if there's any question at all of losing the man you love, and who loves you, I can't imagine your parents would want that. find the best situation for both sets of parents that you can, then choose love.

Good luck to you all.

Roxy
Roxy

[crazycanuck]

Dear Universe,

Can you ensure Mr Blah (and the rest of his battalion) returns safely after his (yet another) tour to Afghanistan? He left yesterday :(

Thanks

[bmccasland]

Dear flipped-your-wig co-worker,

So you're still too sick to come to work, but well enough to party? I supposed that's part of your problem. You can party with the best of them but can't deal with being a responsible adult, and earning your keep in life. What was with the taking all the pictures? At least you didn't have people taking pictures of you. I understand you're a social bird, and need positive energy around you, completely dependant on it in fact. But the positive flow must come from the inside - haven't you learned that yet during your stay in the psych ward?

Meanwhile do me one little favor, decide if you're coming back to work, or just quit. We're tired of picking up your load while you're out. Don't be surprised if you meet hositility when/if you come back. We're all tired, overworked, and to be down two people, one of which is in limbo (you) doesn't help matters.

[redrhodie]

Dear So and So,

That was quite the Freudian slip.

Me too.

[snapdragen]

Dear Friend at Work,

There is absolutely nothing funny about the horrid cold I caught from you, I've missed four days work so far.

snap "coughing up her lungs" dragen

[OakLeaf]

Dear Snap,

Try black elderberry extract.

Regardless, feel better soon!

[snapdragen]

Dear Snap,

Try black elderberry extract.

Regardless, feel better soon!

Really? Ok, I'll check it out. I've been up close and personal with my neti pot, and I've been drinking lots of juice (cranberry/blueberry...mmmm), water and Echinacea Complete Care (http://www.celestialseasonings.com/products/detail.html/wellness-teas/echinacea-complete-care)tea. I don't know if the tea helps any, but it tastes good to my stuffy headed self. :)

[Owlie]

Dear university's cycling club/company making the things:
I would rather like my jersey BEFORE I graduate...

[Pax]

Dear Doctor,

You could have been more humane when I asked "how soon until I can ride my bike?". Replying "you can't ride a bike anymore, it would be the worst thing in the world for your knee" and then seeing the crestfallen look on my face, maybe you could have shown a smidgen of compassion...you butthead.

Pax

[OakLeaf]

((((((((Pax))))))))

[Blueberry]

Awwww....Pax:(:(

I think I'd find a 2nd opinion:) They've had my grandma with her very bad knees on an exercise bike as much as she'll let them.

[Pax]

Awwww....Pax:(:(

I think I'd find a 2nd opinion:) They've had my grandma with her very bad knees on an exercise bike as much as she'll let them.

He was the third opinion... apparently the type of degeneration I have (femoral trochlear groove + patella) is "interesting" so they had three different docs consulting. My doc just got to be the butthead who told me. :(

[OakLeaf]

How much do they know about bikes? Have they considered things like very short crankarms, recumbent, ... ?

[Pax]

How much do they know about bikes? Have they considered things like very short crankarms, recumbent, ... ?

He said I should not do things that require bending my knee (that part of the joint is bone on bone), I asked him what in the blue blazes I'm supposed to do for exercise "walk, just walk". *sigh*

I figure once I'm healed up (from the most recent knee surgery) I'll do whatever I want, as long as it doesn't hurt.

[TriMom217]

Dear Winter,

I miss you already. The snow is melting fast and I did not get enough days in on my skis. Especially since I learned to snowboard this year. I think I now need winter to be twice as long so I can ski AND ride.

Thank you for your attention to this matter :)

[nc tam]

TriMom217, I'm with you on the winter seeming too short. Despite the fact that we have had one of the snowiest winters in memory I still hope for one last big (2 ft min) snow. I have to be careful to keep this to myself as most folks around here are very much over it!

[nc tam]

Dear transcription,

Discrete is not the same as discreet. They weren't the same when I got here 4 years ago and they aren't now. Please, please quit substituting one for the other with abandon. As I only use "discrete" I don't see why this should be an eternally ongoing problem.

[TriMom217]

TriMom217, I'm with you on the winter seeming too short. Despite the fact that we have had one of the snowiest winters in memory I still hope for one last big (2 ft min) snow. I have to be careful to keep this to myself as most folks around here are very much over it!

we've had a pretty snow-LESS winter around here. Luckily my local mountain does a lot of snow making early in the season, so there is still a good base. I'm heading over there after I walk the dogs.

I don't get people who live this far north and complain about winter. I moved here just FOR the winters.

[redrhodie]

Dear Dental Receptionist,

I'm so glad I called the office when you were out, and got to speak to someone who would listen to me. The extra $$$ you charged us is being refunded. Trying to make my point with you was like pulling teeth (pun intended). Trying to explain to you that we had already paid for this work was incredible stressful and frustrating, like an Abbot and Costello skit, minus the funny.

But seriously, your mistake cost me several nights' sleep. At least I now feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I really don't want to deal with you ever again, but since it's bf's mouth, it's his call as to whether to return to your office again.

[crazycanuck]

Dear Australian Distributor,

When my bike shop paid you to bring an XS Titus in, yes we do actually want the bike. Asking my bike shop 3 weeks later if we still want it isn't a good look.

I'm pondering writing a little letter to Titus & hopefully getting a bike down to me..in the next 2 months!!!

I'll be interested in the response you give tomorrow..how long will we have to wait for a bike??? Does Australia register any interest from Titus?

Sincerely,
Sad Cyclist

[OakLeaf]

Ugh. :mad::( Good luck with it CC.



Dear LBS:

Thanks for finally shipping my bike. A week was really a reasonable time frame to do the work that I asked, so I'm not too upset about that. But I'd have been a lot happier if one of your mechanics hadn't told me "three days" and the owner hadn't told me "the day after I brought it in."

Hoping it's in great condition when it gets here...

[Grits]

To my cold or allergies, but I think it's a cold,

Please go away. I am registered for my first long ride of the season on Sat., and I REALLY want to do it. thanks.

[OakLeaf]

Dear robin,

I don't know why you've been pecking at my windows ever since I woke up this morning, but there is absolutely nothing in my house that you want. Was it you who was making all the noise outside before I went to sleep, too? Please go do whatever it is you need to survive.

[pardes]

Dear Lady driving the car behind me:

And I use the term "lady" with reservation. Do you kiss people with the same mouth that shouted obscenities at me, "Granny get your !@#^&*& bike up on the sidewalk where you belong."

[malkin]

Dear Channel 4 News

Thank you for your coverage of important health issues in our community. The county has followed up regarding the reports of staph infection, however, we are unsure about how to treat the "staff infection."

Doesn't this mean that the staff should stay home?

http://www.abc4.com/content/news/slc/story/Autistic-childrens-center-to-remain-open-after/R1cQlWvEiU2tPle7s2Mssw.cspx

[lph]

Dear friend, ex-friend now, I guess:

I don't know what sparked that last bout of unprovoked nastiness - jealousy, paranoia, a bad day at work or a sore back. You were behaving like a furious, unbalanced teenager. Maybe you were trying to trigger some kind of reaction from me, I don't know. I don't really care now either. All I want to do is get it established that no, I did not lie to you. I had no reason to, you had no reason to suspect me to, and just because your version of things doesn't jive with my version of things does not "prove" that I lied. This is real life, where it's not always easy to establish exactly what happened, it's not a spy story where the slightest discrepancy is suspicious and means that the other person is in fact your enemy.

What is killing me is how nasty you turned. Arguments are one thing, but you really want it to be me being a liar. I won't be able to forget that. At some point you may apologize. But I really can't trust you again. I wish I could because I really like you and you're a lot of fun at your best.

I don't if I'll be able to really "break up" properly. Maybe we'll just drift apart and not talk much after a while. Just a bit apathetic now. I'll go hug my cat again.

[redrhodie]

(((lph))) I have nothing useful to add. I'm not great at breaking up, either.

[lph]

Thanks, red.
I sure wish someone could teach me that trick of not caring, or just turning my head off and thinking about it tomorrow.

[malkin]

I put a note over my desk that says:

Perfecting the application of pure apathy

to help with stuff like that.

[limewave]

Dear 10-Minute Mile,

I regret to inform you that your employment with Limewave Corp. Running Division (LW) is terminated effective as of May 3, 2010.

You have been a valuable asset to our company and your termination in no way reflects that I am unhappy with your performance over the last five years. In fact, you have always been reliable and unwavering in your service to LW.

LW has reevaluated its goals and, unfortunately, your services are no longer needed. I have decided that 9:30 is a better fit with the future of LW. Although it is a riskier choice, it is one I that I feel necessary at this juncture.

I will keep your information on file and hope that you would consider part-time employment. There is a space open in the Recovery Department since 11:00 M/Mile has retired.

Thank you for your years of service.
Sincerely,
Limewave, CEO
Running Division

[salsabike]

Limewave, that is a hoot. And congrats.

[Blueberry]

Dear Admin that sits near my office:

I really DO NOT want to hear the details of your life or your non work related all day. I don't want to know what you think of someone's outfit, or how much they weigh. And I really didn't want to know about the draining herpes infection in your nose. TMI. Please keep it to yourself. If I could move, I would.

Signed.
A co-worker who has been TMI'd to death

[Maxxxie]

There's such a thing as nose herpes??? :eek:

Dear neighbour's annoying kids: I'm tired of your squealing. From the moment you wake until the moment you conk out, you squeal. I can hear you from the other side of the house, through closed windows and doors. SHUT UP ALREADY! :mad:

Max

[Blueberry]

There's such a thing as nose herpes??? :eek:

I 'spect (but don't want to ask) that it's a cold sore on the nose. Could be wrong, and not gonna find out:eek::eek:

[crazycanuck]

nose herpes..sounds interesting :eek: I'll pass on those thanks

Dear Uni Tutor(s) for X Class

First off, you will not be getting any good comments from me regarding the class. Normally I don't do the evaluate thing online but this time I will and ensure you get my drift..

I appreciate you taking the time to speak to me the other day about it & super duper appreciate the extension til monday.

The assignment using Google Sketchup is way way way over my head & the few instructions you've given are pretty darned poor. You expect people to be computer whizzes in 5 min. I'm not one and would happily do with a long detailed instruction manaul to follow so i'm not sitting at a computer terminal @ uni in tears. :( I didn't want to spend too much time on this assginment as it just turned me off. Ugh :mad:. Your tutorial wasn't any help.

I would much rather work on writing a paper where I can express ideas in words!!! Words & crazycanuck=:) Computer design programs & crazycanuck :(:eek: :(

I'm so glad that my dear can help me..*phew*

[Catrin]

Dear Rain,

I know you are needed this time of the year, and I know it is spring. However, I am paying a good amount of money for this B&B and I came here to ride my bike. I would greatly appreciate it if you could cease and desist operations for the rest of the and tomorrow so I can ride my bike. You can return tonight if you like, but please give me some time today and tomorrow to explore this rail-trail on my bike.

Sincerely
Catrin

[NbyNW]

Dear Random People Out Walking Your Dogs and/or Pushing Strollers:

It's a beautiful day. Please remember to smile. I promise it won't hurt.

Peace and love,
J.

[TriMom217]

Dear SIL,

I'm sorry to say it wasn't your "prayers" that brought the situation to where it is, it was hard work and diligence on my part. I am the one who made it happen for your son, after many, many phone calls. It would be nice if you could acknowledge that him living with us has been good for him (and definitely good for you as you go gallivanting across the country) instead of spewing your vitriol and hate our way. And so, as per your wishes, you remain dead to us.

And your brother. Divorcing the only SIL I have left. CANNOT believe he is going to put his children through what he went through as a child. Why is your entire family so ****ed up? The amount of dysfunction that engulfs you is just mind boggling.

On the bright note....I never have to visit (insert State name, one where the Cowboys play) again. Thanks for that!

[Selkie]

Dear Retired-in-Place Coworker -- You're over 50 and a senior officer, so I'm unsure why you react like a 7th grader and interpret everything as a criticism/putdown. You are uncouth and lack basic manners/courtesy, always attributing your own ungracious motives to others. To make it worse, you seem to avoid any work that is commensurate with your pay rate, leaving our poor boss to dump it on me (who is not your "peer" in terms of pay or experience). I do the complex, high-pressure work while you sit around, eat crunchy food, make disgusting noises, monitor everything I do (including staring at my legs---creepy, especially since you're a woman), and crank out volumes of "easy" work a junior officer could handle. I'm not walking on eggshells on you any more.

[bmccasland]

Dear Powers-That-Be,
Would you please give my Little Sister a break? She has bad lungs, ever since she had the unfortune to inhale little microbes back in 2nd grade. But this chronic asthma/bronchitis/mono crap has got to stop. Especially since she can't even afford to see a doctor.

It tears me apart that she's been barely covered by health insurance, and is now applying for disability and medicaid. And reading between the lines from other things she said... that the social service that she and BIL saw friday also sent them to the food bank for a box of groceries, tells me that other things aren't so good either.

Some of her choices in life I've questioned, like sending her kids to private school when they can barely keep food on the table. But I've always kept my mouth shut. So I hope the gift card to Food Lion will help a bit.

And I sincerely hope that somehow they'll find a way out of this chronic short of money problem they seem to be in. They're finally not spending foolishly (to my knowledge) - but they just can't get caught up either.

Can't BIL find a decent job, with benefits to take care of them? I'm doing what I can, but it's hard to fathom that I'm paying 1/4 their annual household income too.

[limewave]

Mother dearest,

It is not a personal offense to you when I decide to "ground" dd. I am not trying to take away Gramma and Grampa--that is not even part of the equation. DD sees you every week, sometimes more than that. I think that missing one day with Gramma and Grampa would not be the end of the world. It's unfortunate that you had plans with her right then, but if we had special plans ourselves, I would have cancelled those too.

And as for your remark about the "punishment fitting the crime," well, I do think its appropriate. Furthermore, my decision to ground her had less to do with punishment than it did for her own benefit.

When DD acts out as severely as she did over the weekend I . . .
1) Cannot imagine taking a child out in public that is behaving that way
2) Think that we've had a busy schedule and maybe DD needs a quiet day at home with her mom and dad.

You have made it very clear to me in the past that how we discipline our children is my business and that you want absolutely no part in it. Why are you sticking your nose in now?

I understand that you want the kids to remember you fondly someday. That's why you spoil them. But you have an opportunity to leave them with a real legacy: character, integrity, compassion. You can help give that to them by providing some structure and boundaries for them.

It makes me feel like I'm dealing with another preschooler when you cry every time I have to put DD in time-out. Seriously, if I had acted like that when I was a kid, dad would have gotten the belt out and you would have screamed at me for hours while stomping around the house slamming doors.

Sincerely,
Me

[Owlie]

Dear BF--
I know you were teasing me in a loving way. But did you think that particular phone call was the time to do it? I'd fallen twice and wasn't feeling great. So I tell you about that one accomplishment on that ride, and you feel the need to belittle it, even in jest. :mad:
I still love you, even if I don't like you right now.
Me.

[bmccasland]

Dear Contract Project Planner,
You're a *Planner* right? So when the meeting date gets changed, don't put the date change on the outline of the up-coming meeting, call attention to it. I sat out front waiting and wondering where was everyone for the trip to BR for the meeting. Figured y'all forgot me since I haven't made the weekly meetings as you've been changing them to wednesdays, which I can't attend. It's an environmental restoration project, you'd think you would check with your Environmental Manager - that being ME - if I can make these changes, or see what other days I can attend? :mad:

[Selkie]

Dear Contract Project Planner,
You're a *Planner* right? So when the meeting date gets changed, don't put the date change on the outline of the up-coming meeting, call attention to it. I sat out front waiting and wondering where was everyone for the trip to BR for the meeting. Figured y'all forgot me since I haven't made the weekly meetings as you've been changing them to wednesdays, which I can't attend. It's an environmental restoration project, you'd think you would check with your Environmental Manager - that being ME - if I can make these changes, or see what other days I can attend? :mad:

Is this person a contractor? If so, might be time to talk to the company PM and perhaps, have the company replace this person. Not including you, particularly since you're the Subject Matter Expert, is unacceptable.

[Grits]

Dear E-Vite recipient,

Do you not realize that I can see that you viewed the e-vite and could not trouble yourself to click on yes or no and send?

I sent an e-vite specifically to make it easier for people to respond since it is apparently too much trouble to pick up the phone or send an e-mail these days, and let's don't even get into the formal invitations. No, this was just a casual thing, so an e-vite seemed perfect.

I guess you are just so popular that you are waiting until the last minute to see if you get a better offer. Honestly, weren't you taught any manners?

[Becky]

Dear E-Vite recipient,

Do you not realize that I can see that you viewed the e-vite and could not trouble yourself to click on yes or no and send? <snip>
I guess you are just so popular that you are waiting until the last minute to see if you get a better offer. Honestly, weren't you taught any manners?

I don't know all of the details, but I'm not sure that i'd read that much into it....

I just received an Evite, and opened it to read all of the who/when/where. I now have to confer with my better half, make sure that I can get off work to go, etc. etc. Maybe this is rude of me, but an immediate response just isn't gonna happen.

Just my two cents.

[Zen]

Dear Aspiring Listing Agent,
I know you think your Hummer will impress potential clients and yes, it sure did but it was not the impression you were aiming for.
I was shocked, shocked I say, to see that behemoth in my driveway.
I'm still amused at your befuddled look when I told you why I wouldn't be interested in working with you.

[lph]

Dear Mom,

your family consists of one daughter, and two grandsons. You're out of the country more than half the year. It's not like you're swimming in family, duty or social occasions, and it wouldn't kill you to be polite and say yes when the one grandson asks if you'd like to come to the circus show the entire school has been working on for weeks. If not, the least you could do is come up with a plausible excuse or white lie, instead of a stupid offputting "Ah, no, no, I don't think so.... I'm an old lady, you know, and too tired to be out and about much". Especially after you've just accepted an invitation to lunch a few days earlier - but hey, that was to celebrate YOUR birthday, wasn't it.

The kid is 12, and big enough to figure it out for himself. So you could just be up front about it, and tell him that you're not interested in anybody but yourself, and couldn't give a hoot how he feels about it. :mad:

[Zen]

That's so sad:(

[Xrayted]

Dear Mom,

your family consists of one daughter, and two grandsons. You're out of the country more than half the year. It's not like you're swimming in family, duty or social occasions, and it wouldn't kill you to be polite and say yes when the one grandson asks if you'd like to come to the circus show the entire school has been working on for weeks. If not, the least you could do is come up with a plausible excuse or white lie, instead of a stupid offputting "Ah, no, no, I don't think so.... I'm an old lady, you know, and too tired to be out and about much". Especially after you've just accepted an invitation to lunch a few days earlier - but hey, that was to celebrate YOUR birthday, wasn't it.

The kid is 12, and big enough to figure it out for himself. So you could just be up front about it, and tell him that you're not interested in anybody but yourself, and couldn't give a hoot how he feels about it. :mad:


I've got a MIL just like that. :(

[lph]

Yah, well, seems my subconscious wanted to take revenge. I noted down that I was meeting her for a birthday lunch tomorrow - and it was today...

- not sure which emoticon I should put here, to be honest. Why not a sample:
:o :( :confused: :rolleyes:

[Owlie]

Dear people upstairs--
SHUT UP. This is an old building, and it's not as well-insulated, soundwise, as we'd both like it to be. That said, your tramping around on the wood floors upstairs at all hours and yelling is not appreciated. Nor is your bringing all your equally loud friends over. Don't make me come up there.

[tulip]

Dear Terry Pro-Deal People,
So what's the deal with putting only XS and XXXL products on sale? Getting rid of the dregs of your inventory? This Medium won't bother with you anymore, since I never buy full-price and you're not offering anything that I can fit into on sale. Not a good way to build up a customer base.

[Xrayted]

Thank you honey for an incredible weekend camping. We spent time with good friends, laughing until we had tears running, fishing, cooking on our little pop can stove, warming by the campfire, looking at the sky full of stars and gasping at the beauty around us. What a wonderful life we have together. :D

[Xrayted]

Dear ******* Moms who brought your children to the one decent spot to fish from in that entire area (there was a beach access just 400yds away, btw) and let them throw rocks in, jump in the water, all while you just looked past us both as you loaded all of your stuff on our already occupied picnic table. Your bad manners aside, we simply packed up, left you behind and still had a nice quiet lunch sitting up on a boulder overlooking the park.



You are sooooooo lucky that your minivan still has air in it's tires, though. :rolleyes:

[OakLeaf]

Dear puppies,

Please either go home or let me catch you so I can take you home. I really don't want to call the dog warden. :(

[Maxxxie]

Dear stupid dog walker: Your dog does not need a 10 metre dog lead, nor does said lead need to be stretched across the bike path. Fido will quite happily walk on a 2 metre lead, one which will be far easier to use to control said Fido. After many bell rings, you decided to reel Fido in, then when I swerved to the other side of the path (because Fido was still all over the bloody path), you said indignantly "he's only small!", as if Fido's size would make any difference to Fido's condition after being taken out by a bicycle. I wasn't swerving to avoid Fido because I'm frightened of dogs! I was avoiding Fido because you are too fragging stupid to control Fido and keep him separated from other path users. Fido will inevitably be run over by some poor cyclist in the future, and you, in your addled state, will not see that it could've been prevented.

Dear idiotic woman at the train station: I was absolutely shagged after my Mt Coot-Tha failure, and all I wanted was to get on the fragging lift and up to the platform where my train awaited. Instead of controlling your children (for the record, I was ahead of you in line), you let them push into the line ahead of me, where they then proceeded to gaggle around the lift button, preventing me from pushing it. And so, the lift stayed up at the platform, empty. Moments later, I heard the sound of my train departing. Without me. Screw you for not controlling your kids and for making me miss my train. The only good part about this story is that it was also your train, and so you got to spend half an hour on the freezing cold platform with your uncontrollable little miscreants. Sucked in. I, on the other hand, caught another train, which took me 15Km out of my way, but hey.. I enjoyed the ride. Did you enjoy the cold train station? I hope so.

Dear everybody else on the ride home: I've never encountered so many nice people on the paths as I did today. You all made the ride home that much nicer. So much so that I almost forgot about Fido and the train station incidents.

Oh, one more thing - dear Mr Philippines, the cyclist I encountered near Alderley on my way to Mt Coot-Tha. You were nice to ride with, and I enjoyed chatting with you. I hope we cross paths again.

Max

[katherine]

Dear Graduate Program Head,
You are a mysoginist and small minded. My thesis will be a groundbreaking annalysis of gender, race, and nationalism regardless of your fears that I am too much of a feminsit. BTW, your repeated use of the phrase "too tied to feminism" just tells me you have no idea what your talking about. Did your PhD come from a cereal box?
K.
Dear Out-of-Towners,
I know that we have a fabulous network of trails up here in the cool pines and that it is over a 100 in the deserts right now. Nonetheless it is called trail ettiquate. How would you like it if come February I come down to your trails and act like an a**hole?
K.

(OH, I feel better now.)

[Crankin]

Dear Clueless Woman at the Day Spa:
I know you are so involved with your precious children that you couldn't have possibly read the sign that says "no cell phones" in the manicure/pedicure room. I was having a relaxing foot massage in preparation for my son's wedding, when you appeared, nosily interjecting yourself into the conversation between myself and the woman who does my nails, as we discussed cycling.
Why does your kid and other various relatives have to call you five times in a half hour? And laughing at it, stating "Oh, I thought I turned it off," wasn't funny. I felt bad for the woman doing your nails, who was too wimpy to say something to you.
Thanks. You ruined what is usually a pleasant experience that I don't do very often.

[Biciclista]

Dear Mother
you absolutely drive me crazy.
I call you on the phone to be friendly and you scold me because
MY son (who is 31 years old) hasn't written back to your request for a housesitter?
and when I explained to you that I had already explained to you in an email
why he has not answered you (which HONESTLY I HAVE NO IDEA - he doesn't live with me OR tell me why he doesn't answer emails!!!)

you told me I DID NOT.... Now just because YOU haven't checked YOUR email does not give you the right of accusing ME of not responding.

then you write me another email calling me rude and Beyitchy for being abrupt in trying to escape the tonguelashing....

Unfortunately, half the time, this is how our conversations go. I cannot get along with my own mother. SIGH....

[Tuckervill]

I feel your pain, Mimi.

Karen

[Owlie]

Dear BF:
Sometimes, it is very difficult to say goodnight and put the phone down. I miss you.:(

Dear labs:
Would one of you like to hire me? I have prior lab experience. This is something I want to do. Please read my resume. (And do it sooner rather than later, please. I have rent that needs to be paid...)

[crazycanuck]

Dear nice bike company,

Where is my bike? I know it's been sent but umm...where is it?

[Blueberry]

Dear Mother:

I do not appreciate starting my day by having you whine at me during the entire 45 minute drive to work. I do not like to start my day on a down note. Since it's the only time you have to "talk" (since ever other time I try to call you you hang up on me for a "more important" phone call), I try to accommodate you. But I might start turning off my cell phone in the mornings.

The damsel in distress act doesn't work anymore. You are nearly 60. You are college educated. You have had someone pay off your mountain of credit card debt for you. Twice. I'm sorry you're there again, but it's not my problem and I'm pretty sure no one is going to bail you out this time. I'm sorry that typing is *so* hard and that you're going to have to pay someone to do it for you, but I'm not volunteering my little free time. I'm also sorry that you're going to have to find a "moronic five year old" to help you with your computer. I've tried to help you for hours and hours. If you would have listened, instead of telling me how to live my live, we might have made more progress.

If you're going to run a business, you can't rely on the free help of friends and family for years and years. 7 years is long enough. You should be able to answer a question of what sales volume it would take to make your business profitable instead of whining about a (pretty good) review someone wrote about you 2 years ago - which is now the "sole reason" your business is failing. Asking me for ideas for how to make it work is probably not the best idea after I gave you lots of ideas that you ignored because "you didn't know how to implement them" and "figuring out shipping rates was too hard."

I'm sorry that it's *so* hard to commute 45 minutes and work an 8 hour day. That's what I've been doing for - oh - about 7 years. You should count yourself lucky that you have a day job instead of complaining about the time, your 30 minute lunch that "just isn't long enough" and that "your life is over" because you have to work. Considering quitting the day job and going back to said business is probably not a good idea. But hey - it's your life.

Grow up,

Your daughter who is going to quit being the mom

Dear Grandma:

I love you, but I really need for you to stop facilitating the above behavior. I could also do without the lectures about how my mom just "needs to talk" and "I should let her" because her life is "so hard" and you "feel sorry for her." I wonder if this could be part of the problem?

Your granddaughter who still loves you, but wishes you would stay out of certain relationships

[Biciclista]

Dear Mother:


Dear Blueberry
Maybe I can hook your mother up with my mother. My mother tries to fix her own computer sometimes with disastrous results. Sometimes maybe not. Who knows?!

What's up with mothers anyway? I mean, I AM one.

sigh...

CC, I hope your bike comes soon. it's been a LONG LONG LONG time coming.

[oxysback]

To Whom it May Concern:

Thank you SO MUCH for a mom that was loving and supportive. I just wished she would have lived passed 42. I know we would have been great friends as adults.



I'm sorry, Mimi and Blueberry. Mom's should be better at 'mom stuff.'

[redrhodie]

Dear Stepmother (staying in the mother drift!),

Thank you for everything you've done for my father. I know he would have died long ago if not for your constant and diligent care. The news of your health problems is really worrying me. I don't know what he or I would do without you. I have faith that your love of life will help you overcome all of this, but I'm still worried about you.

Your Wicked Step Daughter ;)

[tulip]

Dear Mimi and Blueberry,

(((HUGS to you both)))

[Xrayted]

Hey Mimi, your Mom sounds just like Kit's Mom. Are you sure they aren't related? :p

My Mom has been great. I've been lucky. :)

[Owlie]

Dear upstairs neighbors--
TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN. I should not be able to pick out the lyrics.

[OakLeaf]

Dear puppies (again),

Here's the deal. There aren't many places in the USA where dogs can get away with being wild, and this isn't one of them. I've tried my darndest to get you to trust me enough to catch you. I've found the guy who owns your mother, and he's done everything he can do to catch you, too. He's mentioned calling the dog warden. The fact that he didn't socialize you from birth gives you an idea of how much he cares about you, so if I have to call the dog warden, I don't expect he's going to pay the money and go through the process to get you out. And, if you go there and don't let anyone touch you, they're going to decide pretty quickly that you're not adoptable.

I can't have wild dogs living under my shrubbery. You've got until Friday to get in the trap or let me, my husband or your owner catch you. After that I'm calling the dog warden.

Signed,
Heartbroken

[TriMom217]

Dear upstairs neighbors--
TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN. I should not be able to pick out the lyrics.

and while we're at it....

next door neighbor, did you know that when you leave your dog barks NONSTOP until you return? Of course I can't complain to the landlord, your father, because since my daughter needed to move in I have 2 dogs when the lease only says I can have one. My daughter's dog barks EVERY time you slam the door, which you do EVERY time you close it. He also barks every time you sound like you're crashing down the stairs, which I'm sure is every time you go either up or down the stairs.

So while I'm in no position to complain, I sure wish I had a more considerate neighbor. I'm pretty sure it's my rent check that pays the mortgage on this place which was empty for quite a while before we moved in.

I won't even start on how early you feel the need to mow every Saturday morning......

[ccnyc]

Dear V.Q.G.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful consideration of the situation. I know you need to do what's best for your bottom line, but your decision will either save or kill 14 years of hard work so I ask that you take that into consideration when making your decision. I know you'll do what you think is right, so thank you in advance for making a decision that will benefit everyone.

[Eden]

Dear guy in the pick up truck yakking on the cell phone. I really did not need to see you kill that poor little dog. If you had been %^&*# paying attention to driving you would not have hit him. I was behind you and had plenty of time to see what was happening. What if next time its a little kid that runs out into the street instead of a little dog. Hang up and pay attention or get out from behind the wheel.

[BikeDutchess]

Dear famous surgeon,

We traveled 7 hours each way for this 3-month post-surgical check-up, and incurred hotel expenses as well. We were on time for our 10:30 appointment. Making us wait two-and-a-half hours in the waiting room, another 45 min in the exam room, and then breezing in for a 2 minute "fly-by" visit without even an apology for the long wait is very annoying. I know you're considered one of the "gods" who invented this procedure, and that you probably got stuck in the OR, and we are truly grateful for the good outcome of our child's surgery, but some acknowledgement of the value of our time would have been appreciated. We probably could have phoned this one in and saved ourselves a lot of time and money.

[Biciclista]

Dear famous surgeon,

We traveled 7 hours each way for this 3-month post-surgical check-up, and incurred hotel expenses as well. We were on time for our 10:30 appointment. Making us wait two-and-a-half hours in the waiting room, another 45 min in the exam room, and then breezing in for a 2 minute "fly-by" visit without even an apology for the long wait is very annoying. I know you're considered one of the "gods" who invented this procedure, and that you probably got stuck in the OR, and we are truly grateful for the good outcome of our child's surgery, but some acknowledgement of the value of our time would have been appreciated. We probably could have phoned this one in and saved ourselves a lot of time and money.

holy cow. I hope you complained somewhere else.

[lph]

Oh Eden :(

[lph]

I was clearing out some files at work (yes, I did have better things to do, but we were alle ordered to) and came across the following little gem I wrote back in 2001. I'm tooting my own horn here, but I found it pretty darn funny :D

It's in reply to a snotty note from the publishers of a computer magazine ("CM"):

"Re: unpaid CM subscription

In a letter dated Feb. 26th, you refer to our "delinquent account", as you call it, as we haven't paid for our subscription yet. You also write: "When you ordered CM, we accepted your word that you would pay your bill." I might point out that when we ordered CM, we accepted your word that you would actually deliver the magazine. So far we have not received a single regular issue, and your threat of not sending any more issues is hardly alarming.

What we have received is the trial issue we ordered last November. After two follow-up emails. In January. I presume that the point of a trial issue is to let readers decide whether or not they want a continued subscription. Sending no less than two requests for payment before the trial issue has even arrived is a bit excessive. Your claiming that you have sent four unanswered requests for payment when we in fact have emailed you twice, is downright annoying.

In spite of all this, we do actually want a subscription for CM. As we wrote to you in December, we will pay the bill in full as soon as we receive our first regular, somewhat current issue."

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Co-Workers,

Yes I know when someone takes vacation you have to do extra work. Yes I know it sucks. We all do it and we all make it, don't make people feel like crud because they are taking a well deserved vacation. I did your work when you took a week off so don't complain for a month before my week off it just makes you look like a self centered brat!

Thanks,
A Willing Team Player

[Zen]

In other words, "this is how it is. Deal with it" and be thankful you have a job

[bmccasland]

Dear PNW office,
Would you please make the notifications.... the waiting to know if I got the job or not is maddening. Do I get ready for hurricane season or get ready to move? :confused:
Yeah, I know it's already hurricane season, AND there's a system in the Gulf, but the weather prognosticators say it isn't a big deal - except to the ships sucking oil from the Deepwater Horizon Disaster.

So come monday, a decision, OK? :(:)

[alexis_the_tiny]

Dear _____,

If you wanted to have dinner with your teamates, SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE. Don't agree to have dinner with me, then go all Hmmm and huuuh and then tell me you'd like a post race nap and can we please cancel dinner. And then I DON'T DARE CALL YOU BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB YOUR POST RACE NAP AND LOOK LIKE AN ******* and it turns out, you FINALLY call me and YOU'RE HAVING DINNER WITH YOUR TEAMATES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M DOING THIS ANY MORE BECAUSE THIS ISN'T EVEN THE FIRST TIME.

Me.

(Excuse the caps.)

Also:

Dear best friend,

I wish you were home. I miss talking to you on the phone and being able to just go out with you. BBM, twitter and skype doesn't make being on a completely different continent from you any less hard.

[Owlie]

Dear BF--
You have no idea how much I was looking forward to seeing you next weekend...okay, I think you do. I'm sorry it can't happen and neither of us can do anything about it. (Does your boss just hate the idea of your wanting to take time off? This happened last time too.) Just survive the next month and a bit. You'll be back here before you know it.
Love,
Me.

Dear impatient driver--
Okay, so a bunch of kids tried to make an ill-advised and ill-timed street crossing. No, I was not about to start trying to move. Honking at me and the kids and then trying to cut me off on the other side of the intersection is not the correct response to the situation. You may have gotten your precious hot dogs ten seconds sooner, but you're still an a**.

Dear certain manufacturer of cycling shoes--
Apparently I'm some kind of freak. (Okay, we knew that, but not for this reason.) I actually want to put SPD pedals on a road bike? Shame on me! Maybe I want some quality, breathable road shoes one day. I don't think this should require me to buy new pedals. Telling me to go buy mountain shoes is not useful. Is it too difficult to make adaptors for your newer soles? I'm not going hiking around in the wilderness here. I don't need the testosterone-driven chunkiness of your MTB shoes that has managed to translate to its women's equivalent. The only ones that look as sleek as your road shoes are (surprise!) only available in men's. Know what? Screw you. I'm going to take my freak-heretic self and my cash and go buy myself some Keens. You clearly don't want the likes of me tarnishing the reputation of your shoes of Teh Awesome, so I clearly don't need to justify the existence of your line of MTB shoes.
--Someone who would have gladly bought your ridiculously expensive shoes had they worked with her pedals.

[MomOnBike]

Dear Body,

Please reconsider your new policy of an Annual Major Health Event. Three years in a row is quite enough.

Thank you

Me

[snapdragen]

Dear Body,

Please reconsider your new policy of an Annual Major Health Event. Three years in a row is quite enough.

Thank you

Me

I would like to second this motion -- I was joking about the surgery once a year hobby. :(

[bmccasland]

Listen people in Seattle, are your brains damp? That storm in the Gulf, it's become a Cat 2 hurricane, and come on shore. Am I to assume that I wasn't selected? Would you please just make the notification! Do I suck it up, accept that I'm stuck here with poor leadership, and get ready for hurricane season. Or do I get my house ready to sell? I'm scheduled for vacation starting tomorrow and all of next week - what I do kind of depends on the answer... :confused:

You notified me that the job was open. Can you get your personnel office to make the notifications? Life in limbo is not exactly a fun place to be. :mad:

[Zen]

Life in limbo is not exactly a fun place to be. :mad:

Come on over if you need to borrow a cup of sugar :rolleyes:

[tulip]

Life in limbo is not exactly a fun place to be. :mad:

grrrr....I agree completely!

Dear Secretary Donovan,
Announce your funding decisions already! We're supposed to be on the same team--providing housing for disabled and elderly poor people. But you apparently are getting out of the housing business. Strange, give that's your reason for being. Your arrogance and vapidness are really appalling. I had such high hopes when you were appointed, but you're a real piece of work.

Yours truly,
me

[bmccasland]

Dear Esteemed People in Washington,
While we're talking about life in limbo....
Would you please renew the Federal Flood Insurance Program? My policy is up for renewal next month. It is hurricane season, and I live in an area that is a flood hazard. I pay for flood insurance, if you'd just send the bill! I do not want to be without flood insurance because you're playing politics. :eek:

[Owlie]

Dear toilet--
I have no idea what you're doing, but stop making noises to yourself. It's annoying.

Dear self--
Get your butt back on the bike. I realize the housework needs to be done, and we need food for the week, but still. Get out for at least a little bit every evening (or during the day) this week. Have fun on some of those hills.