Dear So and So

[Catrin]

Dear Weather,

It has been almost a month since my last bike ride. Now that my leg is improving I really would like to go for a little ride - we are not THAT far north - can we please have a little warm-up and a break from the snow so the pavement will clear enough for me to have a ride? Please? Pretty Please?

It was warm enough today to go, but there was a ton of fresh salt on the roads to prepare for the expected snow tonight...

Thank you for your consideration...

[Dogmama]

Dear Lebron James & Coach Phil Jackson,

Quit your whining about having to play on Christmas Day. You make millions from your job, not to mention endorsements. I'll bet the LA Clippers would love to play in your prime time slot

Suck it up.

[Owlie]

Catrin, it's the same here, but we're not expecting that much snow. It's supposed to get up into the 50s by New Year's, though.


Dear Lebron James & Coach Phil Jackson,

Quit your whining about having to play on Christmas Day. You make millions from your job, not to mention endorsements. I'll bet the LA Clippers would love to play in your prime time slot

Suck it up.

Having spent the last four years in Cleveland, I never want to hear anything about Lebron James ever again...so would most of Cleveland, I imagine! :D

My turn:
Dear boyfriend--
Rubbing in the fact that you're seeing all of your friends over Christmas isn't very nice. Especially because most of my friends from college are now out of state, and my friends from high school are either a)out of state; b) on vacation out of state; or c) have a sufficiently short break that we can't get together. My social interaction at the moment consists of my family. While I like them, they tend to get rather grating after a while--my parents because they still won't treat me like an adult, and my sister because of the constant jabs about my weight.
Stop, please.
Me.

[Cataboo]

Dear Family,

Don't make me put you guys in timeout and send you to your rooms till you can get along. I thought we were all adults. 8:30 AM and round 2 or is it 5 is starting.

Get over yourselves, it's Christmas where we celebrate the joy of fighting with each other and giving each other gifts. How bout you guys let me enjoy opening my presents and watching you guys open yours before you make me want to throttle you to stop the bickering.

Thank you.

[Catrin]

Catrin, it's the same here, but we're not expecting that much snow. It's supposed to get up into the 50s by New Year's, though.

They couldn't make up their mind as to how much snow we would get. In the end we got an additional inch to top off what is already there - just enough fresh snow to play in :)

Poor Ms. Explorer is collecting dust, but at least the snow and salty roads are forcing me to allow my leg to heal. Resistance on the spinning bike is far easier to control than wind and hills on the bike. Part of me has this irrational fear that I will forget how to ride my bike...but I know that is silly.

It would have been nice to have seen my family this year for Christmas, but such is life.

[Owlie]

We barely got any. :rolleyes:

Dear parents--

Well done. I'm rather amused that you both managed to get me the same jacket, just in different colors. So, I could return one, or keep both...

[bmccasland]

We barely got any. :rolleyes:

Dear parents--

Well done. I'm rather amused that you both managed to get me the same jacket, just in different colors. So, I could return one, or keep both...

Return one.

My mother sent my umbrellas, two of them. I now have an umbrellla for each day of the week. I moved from a part of the country that gets twice the rainfall than Seattle - drenching soaking rain where you'll drown without an umbrella, or the wind during the rainstorm will destroy it. Like I really needed an umbrella...

And I hear her voice in my head scolding me: "it's the thought that counts." :rolleyes:

[Eden]

I never buy expensive umbrellas as I usually lose them.... If you are like me, two umbrellas (or 5 or 6...) aren't really a bad thing...

[Owlie]

I've got two umbrellas, both were free, and most of the time I have no idea where they are. I like my yellow rain coat. :D

Yeah, I'm returning one, but which I don't know. I much prefer the color of one, but the other is rather more practical. (Off-white versus blue.)

[Crankin]

Dear Body,

What is wrong with you? I can't even eat a normal healthy diet anymore, without gaining weight? No whole wheat bread? No bread, ever? And I can't even look at any type of Asian food apparently. Sure, I am not riding 100-150 miles a week now, but I am doing winter training, running, hiking, yoga... more than 98% of the country does.
Well, at least there's snow, so maybe the x country skiing and snow shoeing will help. Frustrated.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

x-country skiing and snowshoeing are HUGE calorie burners, as you probably already know.
(me, i spent a lot of time snow shoveling today- with our approx. 22" we got last night) My car is still buried...you can only do so much in one day. So I've been hiking into town this morning and tomorrow morning to work at the food pantry.
All I can say is thank goodness for wool.

[Crankin]

We only got around a foot, although some towns close to here got 18 inches. I did an interval snow shoe today. Two climbs up the 20% grade hill in our neighborhood conservation land. That, plus a little snow shoveling, to get the stuff that the snow blower can't get. Tomorrow I am going x country skiing.

[blackhillsbiker]

Dear Stupid People,
This is for the geniuses at my almost D-I-L's workplace, who when she told them she was getting married this weekend, decided it was good to inform her how a "real" wedding should be.
Geez, when did the wedding become more important than the marriage? This is the exact reason they decided not to go the traditional route. Even when they were told that they were going to have a party in the spring, she still got advice.
No wonder half the people in this country get divorced, if this where the emphasis is.
DH is a pastor. He's done fancy, expensive weddings and very simple weddings. He says that "At the end of the day, they are all just as married." The wedding day is over quickly. Hopefully the marriage lasts much longer than it takes to pay off the wedding. Sometimes I wonder. Sounds like DS and DIL-to-be have their priorities straight. Hang in there.

Deb

[bmccasland]

Dear Charlie the Horse in my calf -
Go away I tell you, go away! I don't know what I did to earn your wrath, but I'm tired of your existance. :mad: I have a rolling pin, and I'm not afraid to use it.

[Owlie]

Dear parents--
Thanks for looking over my personal statement draft, but I think you're forgetting one thing--it's a personal statement, not a scientific paper!

[blackhillsbiker]

Dear Snowstorm (aka Blizzard Conditions),

Please let up long enough for DD's DBF to make it here from Wyoming for her 21st birthday. You have no idea how miserable all of us will be today if he is unable to get here.

Grateful for your kind consideration,

Deb & family

[jelee1311]

Dear Archie my brand new baby cousin,thank you for finally making your grand entrance no matter how fashionably late(13 days). Congrats. Your mother the accountant wanted you here this year somthing about taxes. I'm so glad you and mom are doing well in spite of the c section. Welcome to this big beautiful world baby boy I can't wait to meet you!:)

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear lady who tried on the $75 smartwool turtleneck in the store before i bought it-
Thanks so much for wearing Patchouli perfume when you go clothes shopping and trying on new clothes in stores. Now I have to wash my nice brand new expensive merino top before I can wear it- simply to get your stinky perfume out of it.

[snapdragen]

Dear lady who tried on the $75 smartwool turtleneck in the store before i bought it-
Thanks so much for wearing Patchouli perfume when you go clothes shopping and trying on new clothes in stores. Now I have to wash my nice brand new expensive merino top before I can wear it- simply to get your stinky perfume out of it.

Could be worse....could be Shalimar. :rolleyes: I hope you can get the stank out.

[crazycanuck]

Dear Stingers,

Nyer Nyer :p I managed to escape much of your wrath today thanks to the vaseline trick.
Please stay away for a while as I train for the busso jetty swim.

Thank you.

open water swimmer

[bmccasland]

Dear Person that gave me bath salts:

I'm a shower person, NOT a bath person.... BUT today after doing the Christmas Bird Count, coming home and not being able to get warm despite the warm clothes I changed in to. I remembered the bath salts and thought a hot soak would warm me up.

Thank you, I'm toasty warm now, and I smell nice too. :D

[Owlie]

Dear neighborhood children--
You know, running across roads with wild abandon is probably not a good idea, especially when you don't look first.

[crazycanuck]

Dear Self,

Go and buy a good rashie!!! The stupid stingers will then miss areas one does not want stinger stings in.

AGHGHGHGHG...

I must have swum over a few as the rash is all the way across my tummy, both armpits, under my right breast..

AUGHGH..

[Becky]

OWWWW, CC! That sounds horrible! Hope your're feeling better soon!

[Zen]

Now I have to wash my nice brand new expensive merino top before I can wear it- simply to get your stinky perfume out of it.
Come on. Really.
You can afford to buy an expensive merino wool top and you're seriously complaining about this? You're better than that.

[Zen]

Dear Person that gave me bath salts:

I'm a shower person, NOT a bath person.... BUT today after doing the Christmas Bird Count, coming home and not being able to get warm despite the warm clothes I changed in to. I remembered the bath salts and thought a hot soak would warm me up.

Thank you, I'm toasty warm now, and I smell nice too. :D

Thank you, Beth.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Come on. Really.
You can afford to buy an expensive merino wool top and you're seriously complaining about this? You're better than that.


Thanks so much Zen. I needed that dressing down from you. I was displaying only self centered thoughtlessness in complaining about such a thing on a thread like this. I'm grateful you made me see how my post was a shameful embarrassment compared to all the more important ones here. I will strive to be more like you.

Then again, I figured there'd likely be consequences after 'The Little Details' thread.

[bmccasland]

Now girls, play nice in the sandbox, or I'll have to put the training wheels back on your bikes. ;)



Once the snow melts. :p I ain't go'in out in the snow. I'm a fair southern flower not used to these things. :D

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Hey, she started it!

And yes, if I buy a brand new piece of clothing and have to wash it before I can wear it because some woman tried it on while wearing stinky perfume...then I sure as heck will post my annoyance on Dear So and So, just like everyone else who posts here about inconsiderate acts by co-workers, irritating relatives, etc etc. I think it's very inconsiderate to wear heavy perfume (or heavy makeup) when trying on clothes in a store.
No need for anyone to dole out a superior lecture.

But fine! :)

Speaking of snow...

Dear Next Door Neighbor who is spending her winter in her second home in sunny Florida,
Next time you hire someone sight unseen to plow your driveway, can you please instruct him about where your property line ends, so he doesn't plow all your snow 6 feet over onto our lawn, all 22" of blizzard snow, carving big gouges out of our grass and then pushing the 4 foot mounds of your snow INTO our two lovely spruce trees that we bought and planted way over on OUR lawn, breaking many lower branches in the process? What kind of moron plows and smashes 4 foot snow banks right into beautiful growing spruce trees in the middle of a lawn?

[bmccasland]

BleekerSt - I believe you summed it up properly... "moron." Hope your trees recover from the insult in the spring. How rude.

Least neighbor and "moron with snowplow" could rectify things. But not mangle anything else in the process. I have not-so-fond memories of shoveling out the driveway after the snowplow did the street when I lived in the upper part of the lower penninsula of Michigan.

[OakLeaf]

Sometimes when you get that much snow there's no way to remove it without damaging surrounding stuff, unless you hire a backhoe, a dump truck and a place to dump it... and give the hoe operator a GPS plot of everything that's under the snow. The time we had to hire a backhoe because plows couldn't handle our lane, they damaged the stairs to our garage deck. I doubt they even knew there was anything under all that snow. It'd be no different if you lived on a public road served by government plows...



... and if you read about some of the undisclosed chemicals that they use to treat fabrics, you'd wash them before wearing regardless of how they smell ...

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Sometimes when you get that much snow there's no way to remove it without damaging surrounding stuff, unless you hire a backhoe, a dump truck and a place to dump it... and give the hoe operator a GPS plot of everything that's under the snow. The time we had to hire a backhoe because plows couldn't handle our lane, they damaged the stairs to our garage deck. I doubt they even knew there was anything under all that snow. It'd be no different if you lived on a public road served by government plows...

Your situation is very different from mine. I do live on a public road (county highway) and the 'govt plows' never use my lawn for dumping or damage my trees. Her driveway is clearly laid out and straight, it's been plowed for years with no problems- no backhoes or dump trucks needed. He chose to create a big new parking area for her on our lawn by bizarrely pushing all her driveway snow over onto our property, smashing it right into our 10 foot tall planted spruce trees that have nothing else anywhere around them (like seriously, who does that??). There is plenty of very obvious space on her property and along her two driveways for all the piles of snow you could ever possibly come up with. Sorry, but the plow guy is an idiot.
Update: My husband and I dug our trees out by hand yesterday, removing the solid packed 4 foot mounds of heavy wet snow, clearing broken branches out and unbending the branches that were doubled in on themselves but not yet snapped. We then bought some neon orange plastic snow fence and stakes and set up a marking fence along the property line so the plow guy wouldn't just do it all over again. There's no one at the house to talk to since the one inhabitant is spending her winter in her home in Florida and doesn't give out her number. So we solved the problem by putting up the temporary snow fence, but that doesn't make it any less upsetting about our trees having now been maimed. Or maybe I'm being unreasonable for not wanting my beautiful planted evergreen trees badly damaged for no good reason.




... and if you read about some of the undisclosed chemicals that they use to treat fabrics, you'd wash them before wearing regardless of how they smell ...

Actually, I wouldn't, and I especially never do with wool. I do know about fabric treatments, but thank you. I like to wash my good wool as little as possible, and I would like to have that choice when I buy something new. Second hand clothing is different of course, and I don't mind washing that first if it's needed. Got several great contra-dancing skirts last month at Goodwill for like $4.99 each- didn't need to wash them though, they didn't smell nasty.
Call me crazy, but I still prefer to not have someone else's heavy perfume saturating the new clothes i buy.

Am I being selfish and trivial and should I not be posting here in this Dear So and So thread? I know my complaints are not 'earth-shatteringly' important in the grand scheme of things, but they seem completely in keeping with many other people's posts in this thread. Can someone please enlighten me if mine don't belong here?- seriously, I'd like to know! :confused:

[mudmucker]

Am I being selfish and trivial and should I not be posting here in this Dear So and So thread? I know my complaints are not 'earth-shatteringly' important in the grand scheme of things, but they seem completely in keeping with many other people's posts in this thread. Can someone please enlighten me if mine don't belong here?- seriously, I'd like to know! :confused:

IMO, complain all you want. Everyone else does, trivial or not. You are in keeping with this thread. Sometimes people have a bad day. Sometimes people have really trying times and it's very hard to get pull a good mindframe out of that no matter how much there appears be thankful for. Sometimes on some days people take posts close to heart and are offended, hostile or not, or misinterpreted. I don't need to lecture on life lessons...it's a rhetorical question.

[kmehrzad]

And sometimes it just helps to get things 'off your chest' and vent, as in journaling.

[limewave]

Dear co-worker,

Please stop sending me emails trying to prove that you did your job. The fact is that you did it half-ssed. The project was late, incomplete, and riddled with undeniable errors. In effect causing me to spend twice as much time on my end of the project correcting all of your mistakes. Again.

The first year we worked on this project, I was patient and tried working with you to guide you through the steps. The second time, I could understand a few mishaps. But this is the fifth year on this project. There is no more excuse other than your incompetency.

When I have to work with you I can't help but think that the unemployment isn't near high enough yet.

I have no more time to spend today to listen to your excuses. I have work to do. You remember what that is????

Limewave

p.s. Work Ethic. Google it. It's in wikipedia. I know you understand that.

[snapdragen]

Can someone please enlighten me if mine don't belong here?- seriously, I'd like to know! :confused:

Your complaints are just as valid as anyone else's on this forum.

//and I agree with you on the stinky perfume...

[OakLeaf]

I didn't mean to suggest your complaints (or anyone's) weren't valid - just sharing my POV. Sorry.

[bcipam]

Long time reader...first time poster... :rolleyes:

Want another woman's perspective...

First know I am estranged from my family. I mean, I sortof keep in touch but not much. It's been years since I visited my folks or siblings. My youngest sister and I used to be very close, almost best friends. Trying to make a long story short... after a very bad and sad event, I discovered my sister is a weak willed, weak minded person whose life has been filled with poor choices and bad decisions. If we weren't family, I would have nothing at all to do with her.

My parents are both alive and doing fairly well. My dad, age 90, has Alzheimer's but physically is well. My mother, age 83, is as sharp as a tack but recently has been going through some tests because of physical complaints (doctors have suggested polymyositis; it sounds to me like scleroderma).

Anyway, my sister called me yesterday at work. She called 10 times but left no message. When I could, I called her back. She says to me "[Our brother] has cancer; it's in his liver, kidneys, spleen and other places. We all need to pray for him!" My response "OK" but I said nothing else. My sister then got mad at me and I finally asked "what's really going on?" She responded "[brother] and mom have cancer and dad is losing his mind; my world is crashing in on me!!!"

It took me awhile to think about what she said "Her world?" If my brother has cancer, what about his world? He's the one who should be worried and upset. I responded "You need to calm down; stop getting so upset about these things. You aren't help to anyone when you get so emotional". This caused her to break down more and cry and I responded by "get counseling; I'll call mom".

After calling my mom, I found out of course she does not have cancer. My dad has been DX'd with Alzheimer for over 15 years so that is no surprise. My brother was been discovered to have cancer and is most likely late stage, so that's sad but "boo-hooing" about it now won't be a help to him in the long run. He needs to know there are people he can talk to and rely on.

Like I said, estranged from the family but I am there to help my folk when they need it. The brother and sisters, really long story; just know I am not close. I have been speaking with the other sister and she is level headed like me and will step in to ask the right questions and help out the family (since I am in California and they in Mississippi).

OK I know I am complaing about stuff to but frankly I am at a lost as how to connect with the one sister who has "crisis" and "DRAMA!" in her life by her own doing (or if I should bother). She really has a wonderful life - 3 great kids, a good job, a lovely home in a lovely place and a loving man. But the drama, and crying and whining and complaining... good grief! Like get over it!

Appreciate your insight or own stories about family.

[limewave]

Your complaints are just as valid as anyone else's on this forum.

//and I agree with you on the stinky perfume...

My thoughts about posting in this thread:
When I know I'm overreacting for the situation but for some reason I just can't seem to let it go . . . I can type my complaint and ranting and raving in here instead of directing it at the person. Then its out and done. So, yes, I'm complaining. Is it valid, sometimes, sometimes not. :rolleyes:

bcipam--Sorry to hear about your situation! No advice to offer, just sending hugs your way.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Hi BCIpam,
I'm sorry about your sad family situation, it must be very upsetting.
The only thing I can offer is my own perspective-

We are all different and we all react to crisis and loss in different ways. you sound like a strong and independent person. Your sister is obviously more prone to emotional responses.
Even though it may be true that she is not helping your brother by crying or getting emotional, maybe it helps her to deal with it in some way. Perhaps she's always been used to unloading her troubles onto her mother, brother, or father, and now finds that she can no longer do that because they are are ill. She feels the slow loss of them in her life.
I'm sure she feels bad for them and may feel helpless to 'fix' the situation, but all this must surely contribute to her also feeling that her world is crashing down around her.
I know that during the times of my life when someone dear to me has died, yes I'm feeling helpless to make them better, trying to comfort them, and maybe angry at the world that they have to suffer or die....but I think it's only human to also feel a bit of sorrow for our own pain- to feel that we too need a little sympathy and comfort to ease our own despair.

Tears, anger, and outbursts can be a form of self medication in times of crisis and grief. Sometimes it can be very hard to control it precisely. Not all of us might need such emotional 'letting loose', but for some people it is an important release and actually helps them better deal with or confront what it happening. Others may not need this at all. But no matter which type of person we are, we can't really expect others to react the same way as we do to sickness, death, and crisis. Just as it would be useless for her to say to you "What's the matter with you?- have you no feelings at all?", it is also useless for you to say to her "Stop your sobbing and get over it, you're not helping anyone by crying".

I think in extreme situations, it sometimes helps to view the other person as if they were a stranger in pain. Often it is easier to be kinder to strangers than to people or family we have unfortunate 'histories' with!
When in such difficult and painful situations, I keep saying to myself that All this will pass, that everything changes over time. And sure enough, it does.

I hope you find a good way to get through it all.

[Crankin]

BCIPam, I am just like you. While I can be caring and empathetic in my job as a therapist, I have estranged relationships with most of my family, outside of my dad, brother, and of course, my own kids and DH. I can't deal with their grudges, racism, and negative attitudes to just about everything. My aunt is still grieving the death of her husband after almost 25 years.
When my mom died, I am sure people thought I was very "unfeeling." She was sick with a degenerative liver disease and went downhill quickly after an unsuccessful transplant. It got to the point that my mom didn't even tell her own sister (my aunt mentioned above) what was going on, because she couldn't stand the drama, either. Thankfully, for my mom, my aunt is here and my parents live in San Diego. So, what did I do? I went to visit my mom twice while she was dying and we had fun. I took my kids one of the times. And I prepared myself. The funeral was here, as my parents had bought burial plots years ago, when I was a kid. I took care of everything. I didn't cry or break down once. I remember feeling a little numb in the grocery store right after I got the news, but I decided I wanted to act the way my mom would have acted in the same situation. And, I wanted to remember my mom the way she was for most of her life, not dwelling on the illness or the last 5 years.
I didn't fall apart and I didn't have any "side effects" from this. My DH and kids were very solicitous of me, as were my co-workers, but my pragmatic attitude is just the way I have always dealt with hard things. It doesn't mean other people will approach things the same way, but it is hard sometimes for other people to understand my attitude. It's the same thing with my son who is in the marines; people always ask if I am worried about him. I always say no, because it just wouldn't be productive for me or him. It's his job. He chose it. He is not afraid of death. If I had been "worried" for the last 7.5 years, my own mental health would have suffered. I've sort of prepared myself mentally, if it does happen. He wouldn't want me to go off of the deep end, any more than my mom would have.

[SadieKate]

There's no one at the house to talk to since the one inhabitant is spending her winter in her home in Florida and doesn't give out her number. So we solved the problem by putting up the temporary snow fence, but that doesn't make it any less upsetting about our trees having now been maimed. Or maybe I'm being unreasonable for not wanting my beautiful planted evergreen trees badly damaged for no good reason.If it happens again what about writing her since she probably has her mail forwarded? Include a copy of the city ordinance about where snow can be dumped. For instance, snow cannot be shoveled into the streets or alleys here (much to the consternation of our neighbors who think it is fine to create gigantic ice ridges that block everyone in their driveways). She is responsible for damage to your property caused by her contractors, and I'd think if she is a good neighbor at all she'd want to know sooner rather than later.

And, I'm with you on the wool garments. If I've bought a sweater that still has the lanolin in it, why would I wash it right away? Complain away. I'd like to outlaw candle and potpourri shops from all indoor malls.

[indysteel]

Pam, I'm sorry about what you're going through.

I'm estranged from my alcoholic brother and borderline personality/alcoholic sister. Even when they were sober, they were both incredibly difficult to deal with. I don't miss them. At all.

That said, I tend to agree with Lisa in that you might try to react to your sister with some degree of compassion--at least with the current situation. Your brother's situation IS sad.

Have you ever spoken to a therapist? I have. The day I decided to disassociate from my sister, I made an appointment and have been seeing her for about seven years now. A good therapist will help you figure out the right boundaries to draw and how to draw and enforce them. Ideally, over time, you feel more secure and are better able to deal with the difficult people in your life, often from a more emphathetic place.

Short of therapy, read The Dance of Anger. It's one of the few self help books I recommend.

[Eden]

OK not the end of the world, or earth shattering or even meaningful in the larger scheme of the world, but I still feel like ranting....

Dear retailer.... I don't buy myself nice new stuff all that often, especially not wearables.... when I decided I wanted a nice pair of boots I really had made my mind up....

So I find out pretty quick that very few people make small boots... The ones I wanted in the first place don't go smaller than a 6 and its a big 6.... Search and search, so I've had a hard enough time even find a pair small enough and I was sooooo thankful when I finally found yours - they fit and they are just what I wanted, but there's where it all goes downhill.... You had a pair in my size, but you couldn't find the right one only a box with the lone left boot... right boot no where to be found in the whole shop.... but I can order them online! I'm down with that.

Ordered online. *3 days* later you just cancel my order - out of stock - no sorry, no we'll back order them, nothing but your order is cancelled - ARG! Scurry down to the store to *beg* the sales folks to search for the mate. Told that its not there anymore. It must have been sold - too bad, so sad there just aren't any more, no we can't check anywhere else (UK web store had stock), they are different than the retail stores, go away.... Now I'm getting mad.... I HAD IT IN MY HAND and you managed to find the match and sell it to someone else over the last 3 days....

Look all over for something similar - nothing.... nothing that fits, nothing black... Back home - get onto the UK web site, recheck and find that they will ship to the USA - there's still stock listed there - order boots! If you snatch these boots away from me one more time - I'm going to have a melt down - as stupid as it is, this is really, really frustrating...

(though the funny thing is the further away I go the cheaper they get.... $250+ tax at the local retail store, $250 no tax/shipping on the web, $225 no tax/shipping from UK web store favorable exchange rate?)

[PamNY]

bcipam, I am sorry to hear of your family situation.

I'd suggest taking responsibility for your own reactions rather than trying to control or dictate other people's behavior. Tell your sister that you can't deal with people when they are upset, and ask if she could call you back later. Normally I would suggest reassuring her that you love her and value your relationship with her, but it sounds like that isn't true in your case. However you could tell her that emotional displays aren't your style, and reassure her that you will help your parents and brother in other ways.

If you don't want to participate in drama, don't participate in drama. When you start reacting and issuing directives about how people should behave, you are diving right in.

I admit that as an only child I am mystified by the extent to which siblings want to control each others' behavior (I exclude serious matters such as crime, substance abuse, child abuse, etc).

However, my father was one of eleven children, and the sort of thing you describe was what pretty much what they viewed as normal. As far as I could see, it did no good and caused a great deal of harm.

My comments are based on how I dealt with them and their endless squabbling and not on sibling relationships of my own. I can't claim any brilliant result but at least I maintained a sort of integrity, and it was fun to confuse them.

I wish you the best in dealing with your family's situation, which sounds challenging indeed. I also think Lisa's advice is very good.

[Owlie]

Dear former professor--
I asked you to write a recommendation letter for me for this school in September. I asked you again in October. I gave you all the materials you asked for the first week of November. I've sent you I-don't-know-how-many e-mails with a reminder about it. It was due on the first. You still haven't filled it out. They start reviewing applications next week. I realize you're busy, but seriously, you've known about this for months, and you've had at least two to actually write and submit the damn thing.
Argh.

[Biciclista]

Dear Owlie
Call the department secretary.
she's used to being his mother/nursemaid
She can probably put the pen in his hand.


Dear former professor--
I asked you to write a recommendation letter for me for this school in September. I asked you again in October. I gave you all the materials you asked for the first week of November. I've sent you I-don't-know-how-many e-mails with a reminder about it. It was due on the first. You still haven't filled it out. They start reviewing applications next week. I realize you're busy, but seriously, you've known about this for months, and you've had at least two to actually write and submit the damn thing.
Argh.

[Becky]

Dear Owlie
Call the department secretary.
she's used to being his mother/nursemaid
She can probably put the pen in his hand.

*chuckles* So true....same thing works with doctors....

[bcipam]

That said, I tend to agree with Lisa in that you might try to react to your sister with some degree of compassion--at least with the current situation. Your brother's situation IS sad.

.

Thanks everyone for your response... I realize this probably is not the place but it seemed as good as any to vent...

Indy - I get what you say about compassion... just know there is a really long back story and at one time i was compassionate towards my sister but after too many years of my sister always being the victim and feeling sorry for herself, I became hardedned to all her drama. For instance, 4 years ago, when my brotherinlaw was going through depression and using drugs and alcohol - instead of helping him she moved out and in with another man leaving her two teen age kids to care for a drunk father. The 15 year old came home and found him dead from an OD. My sister all of a sudden started to play the "poor widow" and became totally disabled just when those kids needed her most. Thank goodness for my other sister and I to pick up pieces. Anyway, long story, I could write a book...

Found out brother has stomach cancer; its advance. I'll probably be going home shortly.

[indysteel]

Thanks everyone for your response... I realize this probably is not the place but it seemed as good as any to vent...

Indy - I get what you say about compassion... just know there is a really long back story and at one time i was compassionate towards my sister but after too many years of my sister always being the victim and feeling sorry for herself, I became hardedned to all her drama. For instance, 4 years ago, when my brotherinlaw was going through depression and using drugs and alcohol - instead of helping him she moved out and in with another man leaving her two teen age kids to care for a drunk father. The 15 year old came home and found him dead from an OD. My sister all of a sudden started to play the "poor widow" and became totally disabled just when those kids needed her most. Thank goodness for my other sister and I to pick up pieces. Anyway, long story, I could write a book...

Found out brother has stomach cancer; its advance. I'll probably be going home shortly.

Oh, I hear you. My sister has been a mess for years. Like you, I just couldn't handle it or her anymore. I do, however, feel sorry for her. I don't want her life, and I understand and feel sad for the things in her childhood and young adulthood that contributed to her dysfunction and mental illness. That doesn't mean I am not detached from her though. That much hasn't and likely won't change. I've just reached a point where I don't really need to judge her anymore for her mistakes. They're hers; not mine.

I'm truly sorry about your brother.

[bcipam]

Indy... I used to tell my sister where I thought she went wrong but decided, as you mentioned, its not my business to judge her and what she has done with her life so some time ago I stopped. I am perfectly happy minding my own business but then she tries and bring me in on the drama. I still don't know why she had to call me. I was already in touch with my mother and other sister. I know it is was to get me to feel sorry for her... I feel for my brother; I feel for my mother, I feel for my dad and I am sorry that my sister doesn't see how wonderful her own life is or can be. But I can't give in to her "victim" thing... life is just too short.

Thanks, for indulging me however. It's good to get another perspective... I tend to bottle my emotions up good and tight and I know I lack empathy...

[limewave]

Dear Limewave~
Today is a new day.

[bmccasland]

Dear Mr.C -
Why do you keep bringing up pesky little details that you want me to address on a project that's almost finished? :mad: You are aware that to address these odd little building construction details, your Environmental document due date will be delayed, again? I'm supposed to be addressing impacts to wetlands, bugs, bunnies, and fish - not the building trades or county taxes.

[snapdragen]

Dear Limewave~
Today is a new day.

*thumbs up*

[Owlie]

...and it turns out the professor is still on vacation. Classes don't start until Monday, but still! I'm starting to think something's up besides vacation, though. Even though he's busy, he's usually very good about answering e-mails and so forth.

DBF--
Why are you calling me to ask where to send the bills? That little tear-off bit has all the information you need! And guess what? We don't need to use our envelopes, because they give you one! Just stick the tear-off bit in the envelope with the check, put a stamp on it and stick it in the mailbox. This isn't rocket science. And every other month, you ask me where to send the rent! Granted, I don't have it memorized either, but it's written on the handy piece of paper they gave us when we signed the lease.

Do you live in a bubble?:confused:

Me.
P.S. Thanks for cleaning the apartment, though.

[indysteel]

Dear Fellow Board Members and Executive Director:

I've served on this board for three years now. In that time, I've been nothing but frustrated. While I believe in the mission of our organization, we can't seem to get anything done without drama and teeth gnashing. To say that there communication and follow-through problems is an understatement. I've sincerely tried to offer insight and suggestions on how we can improve, but nobody seems motivated for longer than a day.

ED, I hold you responsible for much of this. You're a lovely person, but you're also terribly disorganized and undisciplined. Others have tried to explain our collective frustrations with you away as mere "personality differences." I don't disagree, but that's a cop out. Your position requires effective communication, strategic planning, and good organization. So, while you have a lovely personality, I don't think it's best suited for this job. That, of course, begs some serious questions; questions nobody seems to want to ask.

And regarding the member of your staff that I've had to deal with for the past three years. I have long struggled with her, too. For a long time, I thought I was being too hard on her. She is young, after all. I tried and tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. To learn today that she's actually DRIVEN three other employees to quit because of her mean-spiritedness and arrogance leaves me speechless. Why does she still have a job and where were you, ED, in dealing with all of this? How has this situation persisted?

When my term is up in April, I don't currently intend to renew. I don't really want my departure to devolve into finger pointing or a blame game. I'm merely acknowledging that it's not a good fit for me. I love volunteering for a cause and people that I care about, but I think my time and engery and passion could be better used elsewhere.

Thank you.

[maillotpois]

Dear refrigerator -

I give up. What the heck is making you so stinky?

[lph]

Ick on the back wall? A blocked draining channel? We had a weird smell in ours once, which went away after I cleaned the itty-bitty channel in the back with a q-tip. Obscure greenish goop in there...

[Eden]

My parents once spilled milk in their motorhome fridge.... it took many, many cleanings and lots of Febreeze to get rid of the smell...

One thing, other than baking soda, you can do to help get rid of funk that has permeated the plastic is coffee grounds. There's a little fridge at work that is so nasty that when ever anyone opens it, I want to leave the room..... (no I don't keep any food in there). A half a cup of (new - not used) coffee grounds took care of the nastyness pretty quickly. Coffee is in all the breakrooms, and thus much more accessible at work than baking soda, with the added benefit that it smells nice.

[maillotpois]

Thanks for the tips!

[OakLeaf]

Check the drain pan under the fridge, too.

[NbyNW]

Dear Snowbirds,

Please get on the phone and tell whoever you hired to shovel your walkways to HURRY UP. The snow has gotten knee deep with more coming, and it's difficult going for us and our dog, and for postal workers (not that you care because you're forwarding your mail all winter).

I know it doesn't affect you and that technically you have until 48 hours after it stops snowing, but some of us have to live in your city all winter long.

Getting your walks shoveled would be a nice gesture to show that you have an ounce of regard for your neighbors. Or please move into a condo where it would be taken care of, and you would still be able to retain your Canadian residency and all the lovely benefits that come with it. Is it REALLY worth it to you to leave your house empty for 6 months?!!

Sincerely,
Your pushy American neighbor

[alexis_the_tiny]

Dear trash workers, I am VERY SORRY about all those pee bombs we've been chucking down the trash chute. But the bf can't walk and I don't know where to buy bio-hazard waste bags this weekend. I promise it'll end when Monday comes.

Dear Boyfriend, when your back has a nagging pain for the last 3 months, it's not a cue to keep up with 400km/week mileages on the bike. Now you can't move and we don't know what is wrong because well, you can't get to the doctor if you can't move or be moved without causing you an incredible amount of pain. I don't mind giving you round the clock care but I do wish you'd pay some attention when I tell you to go easy on the back.

Dear friend, yes, I can help you with your research paper. What I cannot help you with is pulling a research paper from the air because I know jack***t about your topic of research. And by 3 a.m. Today. Its already 8 p.m. Holy cow.

[crazycanuck]

Yup, we'll just pull an idea from one of our thought clouds in the sky...:rolleyes:

[snapdragen]

Alexis - if there is a medical supply store near you, get a plastic urinal bottle. You can dump the pee down the toilet.

[alexis_the_tiny]

Thanks for the tip, snapdragen, I'll go look for one...

[Biciclista]

he can pee in a glass jar too. All you have to do is use hot soapy water to clean it!
and get him to the doctor, doesn't sound good at all.

[tulip]

ouch, alexis's BF! Kidney stone perhaps? Why are you waiting to go to a doctor? Sounds terrible for the BF, and terrible for you!

Dear Tulip,
So far so good...keep up the good work!

[Biciclista]

he can pee in a glass jar too. All you have to do is use hot soapy water to clean it!
and get him to the doctor, doesn't sound good at all.

[snapdragen]

he can pee in a glass jar too. All you have to do is use hot soapy water to clean it!
and get him to the doctor, doesn't sound good at all.

Yes! If you have to, call an ambulance to take him to the ER.

[alexis_the_tiny]

Someone actually called the ambulance when his back froze after the ride on Friday morning when the whole thing started. He refused to be taken to the hospital so I figured a weekend of rest won't hurt him and if he still can't walk today, he's going right to the ER. Thankfully, he started walking about a little with the help of a stick this morning. We're headed to the doctor's to see what's wrong with his back.

In other news I heard today:

Dear Local Sports Council and Local Amateur Cycling Association,

It is a royally STUPID idea that you've conceived stating that no one is allowed to ride the local BMX track without paying 30 bucks for a 'certification' test that consists of:

1) an introduction to the 'history' of a 'bike park' that has been in existence since 2005 2) an introduction to the sport of BMX 3) Watching a video on 'good' and 'bad' BMX riding 4) how to use a helmet and protection 5) rules and regulations of the track and safety aspects of BMX riding. Not to mention helmet and bike fitting and a 'test' on a rider's ability to ride a bike (WTF??!)

If you're so passionate about maintaining safety standards, go provide these classes for free seeing as how all these information can be gotten off GOOGLE FOR FREE. Because right now? It just looks like shameless profiteering. I'm not waiting around for you to tell me I need to pay for a 'certification' to mountain bike, I'm headed up north to race there instead. Better terrain and competitors, lower entry fees and less officious BS.

[crazycanuck]

Dear weather/mother nature,

Enough!!!! You've ruined crops, livelihoods, families & infrastructure. Give SE/Central QLD, northern NSW, gascgoyne region of WA, (possibly parts of SA & Vic soon) a break.

At least people outside of the major flood affected areas have the opportunity to think about where thier food comes from & perhaps support local producers?

Dear Arsonist,

If the people in Lake Clifton ever find out who you are...!!!! 7 ignition areas???!!! Go and find a brain.

[alexis_the_tiny]

7 ignition areas??? o.O

[snapdragen]

Dear SNF, thank you for taking good care of my Dad, you are doing what my mother and I cannot. But. It's really not necessary to call me at 10:30 at night to let me know that you are starting the IV that I already gave the doctor permission to do, his chart would say I'm aware of it.

*sleepless in san jose*

[redrhodie]

Dear Twiggy,

Running upstairs, into our neighbors' apartment, and under their bed is not good kitty behavior. That the lady happens to love cats, and offered to take you whenever we go away, is not an open invitation for you to visit her whenever we open the door (although she may disagree). This apartment is yours, the rest of the building is not. Now stop mewing at the door to go out again. You live here.

Twiggy's reply:

That nice lady said I could come over any time. I think now is good. The rest of my house is so big! Why do you keep me cooped up in this place? I want to 'splore.

[tulip]

Dear software developers,
THANK YOU for developing such awesome software to help me keep track of my pennies. Your software is making being financially responsible actually fun! I look forward to getting my mail, and I'm amazed that I've managed to "find" several hundred bucks this month. Bucks that would have been frittered away before I found you.

So thanks alot, it's making a big difference already!
-Your Friend and now smart money chick, tulip

[sgtiger]

Tulip, please do tell what you're using?

[tulip]

Tulip, please do tell what you're using?

You Need A Budget (ynab.com). Very aptly named.

Truly revolutionizing for me (I have never been good with money, and this is helping me be really good with money).

PM me if you want more details of how it's helping me.

[bmccasland]

Like figuring out how to pay mortgage, rent, and now a whopping VISA bill for the auto repairs that I'm getting?

[jessmarimba]

Dear eyes -

Please stop conspiring to bankrupt me and/or keep me from running and biking. I can take the bad vision, but being allergic to my own sweat is not cool!

Or - Dear work - pleaase please please please, I'm begging here, will you look into a vision plan that covers something besides 15% of lasik? any sort of prescription coverage would be fantastic! (to compare, the cost of breaking my back was about equal to two years of eye care)

Thanking you blindly.

[Owlie]

Dear health insurance company--
You majorly suck.

Dear pile of stuff--
Please fit in the car!

Dear bike--
I'm sorry that I'm not taking you back. It's going to be icky until April, there's nowhere to put the trainer in the apartment (or the car!), and I don't want to risk taking you on a four-hour drive in potentially nasty weather, particularly with all the salt around. Remember Thanksgiving?
If the weather over spring break is good, DBF and I will take you and your "boyfriend" :rolleyes: out for lots of long rides to make up for it, okay? Oh, and we'll have you tweaked to fit me properly too!
Me.

[limewave]

You Need A Budget (ynab.com). Very aptly named.

Truly revolutionizing for me (I have never been good with money, and this is helping me be really good with money).

PM me if you want more details of how it's helping me.

I tried the YNAB free trial for a month. I really liked it. I haven't made the leap to buy it yet, but your recommendation is swaying me in that direction.

[tulip]

I tried the YNAB free trial for a month. I really liked it. I haven't made the leap to buy it yet, but your recommendation is swaying me in that direction.

I bought it last year but I didn't stick to it. I thought I'd give in another shot this time around...and I'm serious it's paid for itself several times over already. For the first time in a very long time, I'm looking at not being broke at the end of the month--I've already got a buffer of a few hundred and could end up with even more if all goes according to plan. And I'm not starving myself or anything, either.

I'm combining with some very important lessons by Dave Ramsey. It's waaaaay overdue for me.

[sgtiger]

I'm actually pretty good with budgeting but I'm in the process of shopping around for something other than Quicken. Not that I'm not happy with it but I'm forced to upgrade every couple of years and it's getting annoying. I never end up using all the bells and whistles that they add. Their helpful suggestions are a pain to deal with sometimes too.

[jessmarimba]

WOOHOO!

Work answered my pleas - we're going back to the health insurance we had until this past year, and glasses are soooo much cheaper!!

[Melalvai]

Not-dear-at-all ex-friend,
Blast it all, why do you have to be the one giving the bike/ped advocacy workshop here? I thought at last I could safely participate in all the bike/ped advocacy I wanted without risking running into you since we've both moved to different cities. Once again I'm faced with that awful decision of foregoing a bike/ped advocacy opportunity that I'm passionate about--or interacting with you. You can have all the rest of the world, just leave my little town for me. Will my own mistakes 4 years ago ever stop haunting me?
Frustrated Me

[limewave]

Dear Recession,

I hate you. I despise and loathe you. We had a plan, we were on good career paths. We were just getting started and then you had to sweep the rug out from under us.

I'm tired of working two jobs. I want my life back. I want to spend time with my kids. I want to take a day off of work to take a day off--not to work another job. When my kids are sick, I want to be able to stay with them, not send them to yet another babysitter. I'm exhausted from working 7 days a week.

I miss vacations. I miss being able to buy something when I need it.

You are crushing me. I have never claimed to be super-woman or to be able to do-it-all. I'm not one of those amazing mother's that we hear about all the time. I just can't do that much.

Please let up. Give us a break. We need it. I need it. My kids need it.

I know there are many others out there much worse off than we are. I feel selfish for even writing these things. If you could just let up for a moment, I'm sure I can rally again for the long haul.

Limewave

[limewave]

Dear Sleep,

Thank you, I needed that. Feeling a lot less desperate and ready to tackle what's ahead.

Limewave

[redrhodie]

(((Limewave))) I hear ya! C'mon, economy!

Glad you got some sleep.

[channlluv]

Dear Today Show:

I'll admit it. I'm not a regular Today Show viewer. I'm a children's librarian and I spend every morning in an elementary school library reading great books aloud to some of the kids who are our nation's future. I also spend time helping kids choose books. "Miss Roxy, can you recommend a book for me?" I hear it all day long. The kids in my school are hungry - HUNGRY - for quality literature, and there are millions of kids just like them all over the country.

I had the pleasure and privilege of attending the ALA Youth Media Awards ceremony on Monday morning. I sat a few seats down from the brilliant and funny author Lisa Yee, whose books I regularly recommend, and to one of the most powerful publishers on the planet, Arthur Levine, who helped bring Harry Potter to American kids, among many other high quality literary works. I also sat next to a librarian from Pennsylvania who joked about not being in a big hurry to get back home to the snow. We talked about the books we enjoyed, and as the lights went down and the ceremony commenced, the energy in the room was one of excitement and anticipation. With each name that was called, there were cheers and hoots of joy. These people, these librarians, writers, editors, publishers -- these READERS -- they love their books. These are the people who are influencing America's future. These people. These wonderful, smart, funny, thoughtful, LITERATE people are the ones creating and promoting the books our children read.

Thank god.

What you did, to promote this trashy reality TV star and her faux book at the expense of sharing two new, wonderful, smart, funny, thoughtful, literate creators of high quality children's books is an act of aggressive stupidity. One that is more a reflection on you and your producers than the state of children's literature.

I'm still not going to watch your show. We only have so many minutes on the planet. Why in the world would I want to waste any of my precious minutes on someone like Snooki? No thanks. I'm going to go read Moon Over Manifest by Clare Vanderpool, the 2011 Newbery Award Winner.


(I posted this on their viewer comments section, too, but I doubt anyone there actually cares enough to read those comments.)

[indysteel]

Dear Dad,

I suppose it's just swell that you want to help your dysfunctional daughter through yet another of her crises. That's awfully fatherly of you, but she's not a part of my life for a reason, so it's irritating when you call me repeatedly for guidance as to her latest bankruptcy case. Given that's my expertise, however, I am willing to help, so that's not what's bugging me.

What's most upsetting me is that it's the only reason you ever even call me. You never call just to talk to me about me. It's always been pretty obvious that you and mom only really pay attention when there's a crisis. And because I rarely, if ever, have a crisis, guess who doesn't ever get any attention?

Now I wouldn't trade my relatively sane life for anything, but it would be nice if recognized in your advancing years how much you've played into your elder daughter's emotional problems by enabling and encouraging her behavior. I will not stoop to her level, however, just to get your attention.

I thought about calling you back last night and telling you how hurtful your lack of attention is, but really, what's the point? I'll just talk to my therapist about it. Again. And get a hug from Brian. For better or for worse, I'm beyond letting you know that I actually need you. It just hurts to much to tell you that and to still be ignored. You'd probably take it okay, but Mom would see it as yet another opportunity to tell me that she's just never felt like I wanted a mother. That so turns parenting on its ear and distorts our family's history; I'm not going to go there again.

So have fun with the time and energy suck that is my sister. Let me know where it gets you.

[Crankin]

She's just making the rounds of all of the shows... i think she's gross, but I love the Today show. I just don't get so excited about who is on what. I'm a former English teacher, so I understand what you mean about quality children's lit.
I feel out of it, because I no longer know what is "in" middle school lit.

[withm]

Dear So and So,

Please let Pansy go in peace, with grace and dignity. That is all.

[snapdragen]

Dear So and So,

Please let Pansy go in peace, with grace and dignity. That is all.

Oh no. :(

If she must go, please, with grace and dignity.

[OakLeaf]

((((((withm, Pansy, and all who love either of them))))))

[jobob]

Dear So and So,

Please let Pansy go in peace, with grace and dignity. That is all.


Amen.

[Catrin]

Dear So and So,

Please let Pansy go in peace, with grace and dignity. That is all.

Indeed (((Withim and Pansy)))

[Biciclista]

I do believe she IS going with grace and dignity. She is an incredible lady, has inspired dozens and dozens of people, and the way she put it just a few weeks ago, she's got an arm lock on that cancer and will drag it to HELL with her.

[lph]

To whom it may concern:

- how do you break up with a friend anyway?
and
- why is it so hard to break up with someone who hasn't treated you well?
and
- how is it possible to feel relieved and sad and slightly desperate and optimistic and aggrieved all at the same time?

and to the person in question:
- please have the decency to respond well to my letter, phrased as positively and maturely as I could. I can't stand any more recriminations now, and I do honestly wish you well, whether you believe it or not.

[Biciclista]

Pansy passed sweetly away at midnight FYI

[bmccasland]

(((((Mimi))))))

So sorry to hear the news.

[lph]

I'm so sorry!

[Biciclista]

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs005.snc6/165558_1650992886696_1593235341_1403663_6708156_n.jpg

Don't be sorry for me, be sorry for the whole world that she's gone!

[Biciclista]

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs739.ash1/163119_1751789245590_1564657731_31781444_5565344_n.jpg
here she is with her loving husband

[Biciclista]

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs314.snc3/28360_1410278388032_1564657731_31010154_71265_n.jpg

and here she is when she was young and just as outrageous

[lph]

mimi, those pictures are *fantastic*

[snapdragen]

I never got to meet Pansy, but I knew of her from lurking on Bike Journal. I knew she would be someone I'd love to meet - such an outrageous and wonderful personality. She will be missed, even by those that never had the chance to meet her.

I agree, the pictures are great. I love the one with her hubby.

I picture her in heaven, trying to put red lipstick on all the angels........:p

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Pansy sounds like a fantastic woman. May her vivacious spirit live on!

[Trek420]

i never got to meet pansy, but i knew of her from lurking on bike journal. I knew she would be someone i'd love to meet - such an outrageous and wonderful personality. She will be missed, even by those that never had the chance to meet her.

I agree, the pictures are great. I love the one with her hubby.

I picture her in heaven, trying to put red lipstick on all the angels........:p


+1,000,000 :(

[NbyNW]

What an inspiring person Pansy was, in so many ways. May she rest in peace.

[marni]

so sorry for everyones' loss those who knew her and those who didn't.

[bmccasland]

Dear Ears,
Would you mind shutting off the high pitched squeel? I'm getting really tired of it. For once I'm thankful that I'm partially deaf in my right ear. If I knew how to stop the ringing I would. :mad:

And Bonnie, there IS food in your bowl, just eat it, all of it. You don't need your bowl refilled when there's a teaspoon of food remaining. I am fully aware that having hyperthyroid disease sucks. You tell me, constantly.

[marni]

Dear Rowena,

No your ribs are not showing, nor are mine. That is why we are both on a diet. It is unreasonable for a 14 lb.corgie to insist that you must eat your weight in kibble on a daily basisin order to survive.

[snapdragen]

Your corgi only weighs 14 pounds? Is she a puppy?

[channlluv]

My condolences about Pansy, too, to the people who knew her or who enjoyed her presence here. Cancer is a hard way to go. I hope her transition wasn't too painful.

Roxy

[limewave]

Dear Co-Worker,

You are digging your own grave. You have yet-again outdone yourself. Your lack of attention to detail and ability to follow direction is even lower than I imagined. And with review season right around the corner . . . I would not want to be you come Spring. The file is growing. The complaints have been issued. I tried talking to you one-on-one, but that obviously did not work. The supervisors are now involved and I have ample documentation.

Limewave.


Dear co-worker,

Please stop sending me emails trying to prove that you did your job. The fact is that you did it half-ssed. The project was late, incomplete, and riddled with undeniable errors. In effect causing me to spend twice as much time on my end of the project correcting all of your mistakes. Again.

The first year we worked on this project, I was patient and tried working with you to guide you through the steps. The second time, I could understand a few mishaps. But this is the fifth year on this project. There is no more excuse other than your incompetency.

When I have to work with you I can't help but think that the unemployment isn't near high enough yet.

I have no more time to spend today to listen to your excuses. I have work to do. You remember what that is????

Limewave

p.s. Work Ethic. Google it. It's in wikipedia. I know you understand that.

[snapdragen]

Dear manager. I've let you know for weeks now that I was going to have to be home when Dad began hospice. I've tried my best to be accommodating, offering to come in daily for a few hours, but doing the majority of my work at home.

Now, on the day dad is coming home for the last time, you tell me you want me to work 6 hours a day. Tough sh!t.

My father is dying. He takes precedence over anything you might find important.

I'm filing papers for a full leave of absence, I may turn it into early retirement, I'm that pissed.

[Owlie]

Dear self--
You really need to do this. Look at a few webpage, send one e-mail, make one phone call. Not that hard. I know you hate the phone, but this is important. If you don't, you'll be screwing yourself out of something you really want.

[indysteel]

I'm so sorry, Snap. For every bit of what you're going through right now. Even from my very limited perspective, it seems like it's all happening so fast. I can only imagine what it feels like from your perspective. I hope your dad isn't in any pain and that you and your family find the support and strength you need. Here's some more hugs to you from me and Brian.

[OakLeaf]

(((((((snap)))))))

Peace and strength to you and your dad. And phooey on your manager.

[lph]

what oak said!

[Trek420]

what oak said! what lph said.

[tangentgirl]

dear friend: are you sure you still want to be my friend? your actions dont reflect it these days. i know you are busy, but this last time you flaked, it was intentional, and that hurts. after 20+ years of friendship, i think i deserve more consideration.

i think i'm trying too hard. i'm here if you want to reach out, but i'm not initiating this any more. you know where i live. oh wait, you don't, you've blown off all my invitations to the new place. the one i've been in for like six months.

yeah.

[channlluv]

{{{{snap}}}}

I know what you're going through. It's one year ago today that my grandfather passed away in a hospice facility. Peacefully, and with my grandmother by his side, holding his hand.

And a year ago November that I went to my father's house for his final transition, too. That took a week. He had at-home, round-the-clock hospice care. Those nurses were amazing.

You're absolutely right to take some time off. I will tell you, though, that there may be times that you really need to take a break -- a mental one -- from the bedside care. I did a lot of paper grading while I was at my dad's house and he was sleeping, then comatose, and the rest of us were just waiting for the inevitable. If you can do work at home, you might welcome the diversion.

You take your time and give yourself some space to grieve. And I think if you're financially set for retirement, go ahead and take it. Your boss has no right to expect you to focus on work when your family needs you like they'll need you these next few days.

Much, much love you to and your family.

Roxy

[OakLeaf]

Dear national chain pharmacy:

What in the world were your people thinking when you decided to package each of my prescriptions in a SEPARATE sealed plastic bag, printed with my name, address, telephone number, the name of my prescription plan, the plan price of the medication (which was certainly enough to raise a thief's interest, in one case) and the difference between the plan price and the retail price? (I think my DOB was on there too, but I don't remember for sure, I was so stunned.)

I realize that waste doesn't even enter into pharmacy calculations, when you already package 30 tiny pills in a 75 ml bottle. But did they stop for one second to think that plastic bags won't pass through a shredder?

Plastic is slippery and staticky. It was just about all I could do to cut each one of those panels into enough pieces that my identifying information was more or less obliterated. My dad has a tremor and there's no WAY he'd have been able to do that. My friend has arthritis in her hands, and she wouldn't have been able to do that, either. I'll bet you have a LOT of customers who are physically unable to prevent the identity theft you're inviting.

I'll be getting my next refills somewhere else, thank you, and I certainly hope my state's new anti-pharmacy-shopping law doesn't get in the way of my doing so.

[marni]

Your corgi only weighs 14 pounds? Is she a puppy?

no she is actually two years old and full grown. She is just a very tiny, not purebred corgi. I think she is actually a borgeranian (corgie, beagle, pomeranian)or some such. She has a corgi head and ears, the typical corgi shed a rugs worth of coat every day of the year, and the corgi bunny butt but her legs are quite fine and her chest is not as broad as it should be. She is amazingly agile and can get all four feet off the floor at the same, something I have never seen another full blood corgi do.

in the picture she is sharing my lap with Tux our Main Coon who actually outweighs her but is about the same size, if you ignore the projectile shedding armpits

[snapdragen]

Oh she's cute! My corgi, Chloe, does the four footed jump, I always said it was because she grew up with cats. :)

[OakLeaf]

She is darling. :)

My Measle did the four-footed jump. By appearance, we guessed he was half Dalmatian and half greyhound. When he jumped with all four feet, he could clear the sofa. :eek: He liked to spin in the air, too, so he'd come down facing the opposite direction he started from.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

ignore the projectile shedding armpits

Um...how could anyone ignore something like that ? :eek: lol!

What a mental image!

[BikeDutchess]

Dear telephone solicitor for some firefighters organization: When I firmly, but politely, tell you that I never commit to donations over the phone, but will be happy to decide whether to donate after reviewing any written materials they care to send me, telling me "I hope your children never get burned" is NOT the way to change my mind!

[Crankin]

I hang up on any solicitor who happens to get through the do not call list. Who thought the list of non-profits that call me would be so long? This includes the ASU alumni association, who I told to quit calling me. They ask poor students to do their dirty work. I am a life member and I give almost every year, but please, let me do it by mail.

[OakLeaf]

I'm acquiring a decent sized database of call center phone numbers. Whenever I get a spam call, I program my phone to send that number straight to voicemail. Some still get through (got one this morning, actually), but you'd be surprised how many solicitors use the same call centers, thus the same numbers. The longer I do this, the more numbers are in my phone, and the fewer I have to answer.

[indysteel]

Dear telephone solicitor for some firefighters organization: When I firmly, but politely, tell you that I never commit to donations over the phone, but will be happy to decide whether to donate after reviewing any written materials they care to send me, telling me "I hope your children never get burned" is NOT the way to change my mind!

OMG. That's ridiculous. I don't care how worthy a cause is; it's not an invitation or excuse to be rude. I'd be calling the Powers that Be at that organization and giving them an earful.

[bmccasland]

I'm loving having functional caller-ID on the house phone. I can see who's calling, and choose whether to answer or let go to voice mail. Amazing how few solicitors continue to the option of leaving a message.

[OakLeaf]

Amazing how few solicitors continue to the option of leaving a message.

Mostly these days it's all machine dialed, so the worker doesn't even get connected to you if it's voicemail. Our landlines are all forwarded to our cell phones, and a lot of times even the little hesitation that goes with call forwarding will kick us out of their system (not always quick enough that the phone doesn't ring, though).

[emily_in_nc]

We gave up our landline when we moved this June. I think I've gotten maybe one solicitation call on my cell phone since then. Love it!

[KnottedYet]

Dear You-Know-Who-You-Are

I am so tired of dealing with the post-flood mess.

I complained for months that the drains were being weird. When later 14 apartments flood, do you think maybe you should have listened to me?

Now the carpet, which you refused to replace after the flood 5 weeks ago, is developing 2 or 3 new holes every fricking time I vacuum. My vacuum cleaner is older than you. I sincerely doubt that my vacuum is destroying the carpet.

Do not tell me again that *I* have to pay to have the carpet replaced.

Just give me new carpet and new padding.

Love, hugs, and juicy wet (post-flood) kisses,
Knot

[bmccasland]

Eewwww Knot. Yucky. :eek: Hope things work out.

[fincsher]

Dear Mum and Dad,

Happy Anniversary to you.. I am happy that you have very strong relationship.. For 50 years of married, you're not having personal problems.. I am so proud of you. Keep that up Mum and Dad..


Your Loving Son,
Moby

[snapdragen]

Awesome fincsher! My parents were married 62 years - I find it amazing.

[Owlie]

Dear people--

ARGH. Stop telling me that dairy/gluten/trendy food "allergen" of the week is causing my eczema. I've had it for 20 years. It's not diet-related--I can eat as much dairy/gluten/trendy "allergen" as I want and not have a problem, and I can totally abstain and have horribly red and itchy hands. It may work for you/your offspring/your cousin's best friend's college roommate, but it won't work for me. If you really want to know, it's stress-related. I'm going to go eat a bagel with cream cheese and wash it down with a big glass of milk. :P
Oh, and stop bathing your offspring in anti-bacterial soap and let the kid go play in some dirt.

Me.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear newly adopted kitty Sheba,
Can you please keep in mind now that although you used to live as a street urchin under the porch of the kind woman who brought you to the humane shelter last October, that you are now a safe and beloved indoor feline living in the lap of luxury?
I mean, was it really necessary for you to unexpectedly dash out the kitchen door between our legs this morning at 5Freakin' degrees into the snow and ice and run merrily down the driveway, thus scaring the crap out of us and causing us to chase after you coatless and gloveless in our socks in the snow before you disappear altogether? :eek:
But Thank You at least for having enough common sense in your little kitty walnut brain to then have a "Hmmm..." moment, turn around, and dash back up the driveway to the porch and back into the house, to our amazed and extreme relief! :cool:

[indysteel]

I'm glad Sheba came back inside so quickly. DH and I are totally cracking up over "little kitty walnut brain" by the way. Too funny!

[Catrin]

She had a memory lapse about what it was like to live outdoors until she got a taste from the cold, ice and snow- So glad to hear that Sheba turned around!

[Becky]

Dear current boss and potential new boss-

I suspected that applying for this lateral transfer might cause some tension and consternation. I actually thought that a chance of scenery and pace would be good for me. Now I realize that, no matter what decision I make, I will offend and upset one of you. I hate office politics. Maybe the best thing to do is to decline an interview and save everyone, including myself, a ton of trouble. But then I could ruin future opportunities for myself. I don't know what to do.

Sincerely,
Stressed out

[bmccasland]

Dear current boss and potential new boss-

I suspected that applying for this lateral transfer might cause some tension and consternation. I actually thought that a chance of scenery and pace would be good for me. Now I realize that, no matter what decision I make, I will offend and upset one of you. I hate office politics. Maybe the best thing to do is to decline an interview and save everyone, including myself, a ton of trouble. But then I could ruin future opportunities for myself. I don't know what to do.

Sincerely,
Stressed out

Becky - take the interview. You have nothing to loose, really. Your future is in your control, and you have to look out for you. Not only that, you don't have a job offer, only an interview. And when they ask you "if offered the job, would you take it?" The answer is "yes". You are not there to have fun doing an interview and that's it.

[Eden]

Dear newly adopted kitty Sheba,
Can you please keep in mind now that although you used to live as a street urchin ......

I'm not sure if they ever *totally* get over it.... I found my boy kitty abandoned by his mother outside when he was about 7-9 weeks old. He escaped once for a few hours, but otherwise hasn't been outside for years... Just last week when I had a really heavy bag of groceries in my arms he decided to pull a runner. I dropped the bag and dove after him. He got about 4 feet and ran in a bush (fortunately this is all in the little 10 foot breezeway between my house and my neighbors). I belated closed my back door (girl kitty looking out... what's all the fuss??) to keep the other cat in and dove back for Koji. He ran to the door (which I had closed), and finding the way blocked ran for my neighbors back yard. My neighbor heard the commotion and was starting out his back door, which scared the cat back into my arms - where in he was promptly deposited back in the house.... whew....

I don't know why he did it, because it scares him half to death to be outside. Still I have to watch him when I come inside, because he's always trying to stick his nose out of the door. Sometimes I wonder if I should leash train him. I'm not sure my girl (from the humane society) has ever been outside. I've never really tempted her, but I think you could leave her in front of an open door and she'd just sit there looking out.

[KnottedYet]

Dear people--

ARGH. Stop telling me that dairy/gluten/trendy food "allergen" of the week is causing my eczema. I've had it for 20 years. It's not diet-related--I can eat as much dairy/gluten/trendy "allergen" as I want and not have a problem, and I can totally abstain and have horribly red and itchy hands. It may work for you/your offspring/your cousin's best friend's college roommate, but it won't work for me. If you really want to know, it's stress-related. I'm going to go eat a bagel with cream cheese and wash it down with a big glass of milk. :P
Oh, and stop bathing your offspring in anti-bacterial soap and let the kid go play in some dirt.

Me.

<raises hand>

Guilty, as charged.

(only because my eczema is totally stress-and-gluten-related and disappeared completely when I cut it out)

[Becky]

Becky - take the interview. You have nothing to loose, really. Your future is in your control, and you have to look out for you. Not only that, you don't have a job offer, only an interview. And when they ask you "if offered the job, would you take it?" The answer is "yes". You are not there to have fun doing an interview and that's it.

Beth- You're absolutely right about taking the interview. However, I'm not really sure that the grass is any greener on the other side of this particular fence. For the sake of brevity, I've left out a lot of the office political crap about why I know that people are upset and why I'm fairly certain that this will lead to a job offer. I could be wrong though....

As it stands right now, I don't know if I would accept a potential offer. For that reason, I'm wondering if accepting a interview is fair to the hiring manager.

*sighs*

(And yes, I'm one of those analytical, contingency-plan-for-everything, overthinking types. Probably time for a pro/con list or two.)

[marni]

dear idiot texas driver turning left on 1093 in fulshear,

Yes your john deer green and yellow truck matches the john deer green and yellow trailer hauling a green and yellow john deer riding lawn mower. Never the less, that does not give you the right to zoom past me while in the right hand lane and then hang a left and pull in in front of me as I turn left with the light from the proper left turn lane.

May your tractor break down, your trailer develop a flat and your truck blow a piston as you pull into your driveway to mow your lawn, and may your lawn be infested in gopher holes, cow patties, fire ant hills at least a foot high and nasty smelly mushrooms.

thank goodness for an alert driver behind me who saw what was happening and gave me space to pull an emergency stop.

Other than that it was a lovely ride. God bless Texas drivers I always say.

[Owlie]

<raises hand>

Guilty, as charged.

(only because my eczema is totally stress-and-gluten-related and disappeared completely when I cut it out)

I actually wasn't aiming at you, or even anyone here. There's a couple people on another board I'm on who just rub me the wrong way about a lot of things. I know they're trying to be helpful (maybe), but they frequently proclaim all things gluten and dairy to be the cause of all evil in the world. Or pretty darn close. :rolleyes:

Dear self--
Yarn money, or new-bike money? You really need to find some cheaper hobbies. Or a job.

Dear Alma mater--
Stop asking for money. I don't have any money. Why? You took it all already. I wiped out most of my savings to pay for my education. Not that I didn't enjoy my time or education there, but the simple reality is that I'm not giving you any money.

[tangentgirl]

Dear Skunk Smell Under the Bathroom: Dissipate, already. You're too far under the house to clean out. Oh, and you're gross. I'd like my bathroom back.

XOXO,

TG

[Crankin]

Dear Clients,

Why do you not show up when you're "having a bad day?"
This is when you are supposed to come for counseling.

[tulip]

Crankin, do your clients get charged for the session even if they don't show up? When I was seeing a counselor, that was a huge incentive (aside from the fact that I'm considerate of other people's time and keep appointments!)

* * *
Dear Self, again,
Congratulations on continuing to be so proactive on this personal finance stuff and really starting to dig yourself out of your hole. January's been really good, and you are ready for February! Yay!!

-tulip

[indysteel]

My therapist charges 70 percent of her usual fee for sessions cancelled with less than 24 hours noticed, but she does offer her regulars one free pass a year. I've only ever cancelled at the last minute because of bad weather. I'm usually more than happy to avail myself of her services. But I also don't really have a mental disorder, minus some infrequent and episodic mild depression. I would suspect that certain populations aren't particularly compliant.

Good job with the financial stuff, Tulip. I'm glad things are looking up!

[Crankin]

Tulip and Indy,
My clients don't get charged, because I "work" in a clinic. You can do the "no show, you still have to pay," thing when you are in a private practice, whether it's an individual or group practice. As an intern, I only see clients on Mass Health; some, who are working, pay a $20.00 co-pay and they don't often miss sessions. The people I see vary in level of problems, but they are not seriously mentally ill, as it's an outpatient clinic. But, some of them have very complicated lives, with all kinds of issues, poverty, domestic violence, substance abuse. This is just a problem in the medical field in general, more in mental health than physical health, but still.
I am very proactive in calling them and getting them back in, as I need a certain amount of hours to get my credits from Lesley and for my license. And, the ones who "forget" are the ones who need to be there the most. My supervisors, both at school and in the clinic would say I am enabling them, but if they get that picture of me "reminding" them to come in and they start coming regularly, then we can build enough of a relationship, so that they don't miss sessions. I guess I spent so much time calling parents to tell them their kids didn't do their homework, that making the calls doesn't bother me.

[Owlie]

Not-dear pharmacology department--
Your website is ridiculous. It's contradictory and hard to navigate, with key pages missing, or the links are wrong. First you tell me to fill out a form, then you tell me the form is "closed" and to fill out the application, then you tell me to fill out the form anyway. The form is kind of crappy and hard to follow.
There's an option to submit recommendation letters online, but you tell me to mail them. You tell me that if I submit the application online, there's a fee that I can pay online. Then you tell me that I'll need to send a check directly to the department. HUH? Oh, and you want a degree verification. Why? I graduated. My transcript has the date my degrees were issued. At least it's free, and I can request one at the same time I request the transcript.

They weren't kidding when they said this institution was ridiculously bureaucratic. This is the sort of thing I expect from Undergraduate Studies, but their website didn't contradict itself, just made things extraordinarily difficult to find!:rolleyes:

[Cataboo]

That's graduate school. Jump through a bunch of bizarre loops and do it smiling, otherwise your thesis isn't accepted 'cause the commas are in the wrong place and never gets published. Don't start letting the hoops get to you before it starts :)


Not-dear pharmacology department--
Your website is ridiculous. It's contradictory and hard to navigate, with key pages missing, or the links are wrong. First you tell me to fill out a form, then you tell me the form is "closed" and to fill out the application, then you tell me to fill out the form anyway. The form is kind of crappy and hard to follow.
There's an option to submit recommendation letters online, but you tell me to mail them. You tell me that if I submit the application online, there's a fee that I can pay online. Then you tell me that I'll need to send a check directly to the department. HUH? Oh, and you want a degree verification. Why? I graduated. My transcript has the date my degrees were issued. At least it's free, and I can request one at the same time I request the transcript.

They weren't kidding when they said this institution was ridiculously bureaucratic. This is the sort of thing I expect from Undergraduate Studies, but their website didn't contradict itself, just made things extraordinarily difficult to find!:rolleyes:

[Owlie]

I filled out the (slightly broken) form to be safe, and am happily continuing to fill out the actual application as well. I figure it's fairly safe to submit rec letters through the mail, because every other school I've applied to has provisions to do so.
...Duh, I misread the check thing. Only thing that has me still worried is that the page says it's $80 in one place and $50 in another. Guess we'll find out when I submit the application...

[limewave]

Dear Pharmaceutical Companies, Doctor's, Insurance Agencies,

Why does it cost $250 to treat a child's common ear infection? $150 just for 7ml worth of ear drops? And $200 to treat bronchitis for a toddler? These are common ailments. As a middle-class, working mother, I can't afford traditional health-care for my children anymore.

When I ask why its so expensive, you give me the run-around. The pharmaceutical company blames health insurance. Health insurance blames the pharmaceutical company. And it turns out that the the expensive ear drops were an unnecessary prescription to begin with! Just an "added" precaution. What the frack?

I am going to be asking a lot more questions. I want some straight answers. I'm no longer going to allow you to take advantage of me and my family.

Lime.

[tulip]

Lime, was it Cipro drops? I had a stubborn ear infection a few years ago and a week's worth of drops were $200. The first antibiotics didn't work, so that's why they went with Cipro. But they did start out with the regular antibiotics.

Liquid gold...that's what my stepmother called it back in the 80s when my youngest brother had constant ear infections.

I hope your little one gets better (and stays better) soon.

[Owlie]

Not-dear BF--
:mad::mad::mad::mad:

[tangentgirl]

Crankin - sounds more like not letting them off the hook than enabling to me. Enabling would mean there were no consequences for not showing up.

Lime - that sucks. Can you tell your doc at the outset that you need a less expensive option? It's not fun to say "i don't have much extra $$ today," but sometimes they will work with you, find sample drugs or something over the counter for that precautionary thing.

Owlie - Hope things get better.

Tulip - wtg!

[bmccasland]

Dear Skinny Feline that lives here,
I'm sorry that I had to force feed you this evening. It wasn't much fun for you. But would you please eat? Why do you like the canned food at 5pm, then not want to eat it at 7pm? Your skinny little body needs the food, if you don't eat, then I'll make you. Oh, and if you were consistant about flavors that you like then maybe we wouldn't have this trouble.

1/26 - I should add that said cat is 17 and has hyperthyroid disease. She currently weighs 4.5 pounds, so is literally skin and bones (she used to weigh in at 8.5 pounds in her younger normally functioning thyroid days). It's a Catch-22, she doesn't feel good because she needs to eat, almost constantly, but the hyperthyroid also messes with her kidneys, so doesn't feel like eating, and is a tad nauseated. I think her sense of smell is also messed up, as well as her eyesight. What can I say, she's an old lady cat.

[Biciclista]

Beth, I can speak for your cat. when they get to that point in life, they are somewhat nauseated from time to time in increasing proportions. So they definitely aren't feeling hungry like they used to. When our cat got like that we bought him all sorts of things and sometimes he'd like some of them. Like clams and shrimp - sometimes he'd act like it was a feast, other times, revolting. good luck with that little kitty.

[Owlie]

Dear certain black tea--
What gives? I never had to put milk in you before. What did I do wrong? Granted, I haven't brewed you for a few months, but still! I guess we're going back to exactly two teaspoons of leaf and three minutes of brewing time and figuring it out from there.

Dear two other black teas--
Why are you both nearly gone? Your vendor has closed, sadly, and I have no idea how to replace you. :(

[OakLeaf]

http://www.rishi-tea.com/

On the expensive side, but totally worth it. Rishi's plain old sencha is nearly as good as Teavana's gyokuro.

[Owlie]

Rishi is pretty good--I have a couple of grocery store tins of their tea and it's still good. They don't have what I was looking for, though. :( (There are one or two other things, though...)

[Blueberry]

Dear certain black tea--
What gives? I never had to put milk in you before. What did I do wrong? Granted, I haven't brewed you for a few months, but still! I guess we're going back to exactly two teaspoons of leaf and three minutes of brewing time and figuring it out from there.

Dear two other black teas--
Why are you both nearly gone? Your vendor has closed, sadly, and I have no idea how to replace you. :(

PM me if you want. I might have some ideas:)

[tulip]

Carytown Teas (http://www.carytownteas.com/store/Default.aspx?alias=www.carytownteas.com/STORE/TEA). They ship (but lucky for me I can ride my bike there)

[Owlie]

Blueberry, PM sent.

Thanks for the link, Tulip! They for sure have one of the teas I was looking for (or a slightly nicer version), and they have the other, I'm just not sure about the flavor profile. The one in my stash has a nice, cocoa-y flavor to it, and not all grades of that particular tea type have that flavor. Maybe I'll send them an e-mail.

[indysteel]

Dear college student not paying attention while driving. Thanks for rear ending me. I really appreciate having to deal with insurance, car repairs and a sore neck. We were already stopped for God's sake. How hard is it to just pay attention? I've now had bodywork done on this car five times, each for no fault of my own.

[Blueberry]

Dear college student not paying attention while driving. Thanks for rear ending me. I really appreciate having to deal with insurance, car repairs and a sore neck. We were already stopped for God's sake. How hard is it to just pay attention? I've now had bodywork done on this car five times, each for no fault of my own.

That sucks:(

I'm still dealing with PT and pain (of course on my own dime) from the person at the MS Ride last year who didn't see the red light, stopped car in front of me or me stopped with a foot down, and decided to stop herself by grabbing my arm and wrenching it behind me, taking me and 2 other people down and causing some (admittedly minor) damage to my then new bike.

[Becky]

Becky - take the interview. You have nothing to loose, really. Your future is in your control, and you have to look out for you. Not only that, you don't have a job offer, only an interview. And when they ask you "if offered the job, would you take it?" The answer is "yes". You are not there to have fun doing an interview and that's it.

Heh...the plot thickens. There is no interview.

[Owlie]

Dear body--
Nonononono, you cannot be getting sick. I hope it's a combination of PMS and being tired and dehydrated and sitting too close to the radiator all afternoon. We have things to do!

Blarf.

[Catrin]

Dear college student not paying attention while driving. Thanks for rear ending me. I really appreciate having to deal with insurance, car repairs and a sore neck. We were already stopped for God's sake. How hard is it to just pay attention? I've now had bodywork done on this car five times, each for no fault of my own.

Yikes, glad to hear that your injury was not worse! Hopefully the college student has insurance...

[indysteel]

She mentioned that had recently married. She was driving a car insured by her new in-laws. Oops!

[Catrin]

Dear body--
Nonononono, you cannot be getting sick. I hope it's a combination of PMS and being tired and dehydrated and sitting too close to the radiator all afternoon. We have things to do!

Blarf.

I hope you are feeling better today!


She mentioned that had recently married. She was driving a car insured by her new in-laws. Oops!

Oh my, hopefully she has learned her lesson but it sucks that your car had to be part of that lesson. Hope the neck is better today and no other soreness is presenting itself.

[tulip]

Blueberry, PM sent.

Thanks for the link, Tulip! They for sure have one of the teas I was looking for (or a slightly nicer version), and they have the other, I'm just not sure about the flavor profile. The one in my stash has a nice, cocoa-y flavor to it, and not all grades of that particular tea type have that flavor. Maybe I'll send them an e-mail.

Well, if you send me a PM with the name of the tea, I'll go buy some and report back. I can even send you a small amount for you to try (smaller than they ship); that would allow you to try it out and decide for yourself by just trying a pot or two. Imperfect way to do it, but a good way for you to perhaps try it out and for me to try anew tea or two ...

[tulip]

She mentioned that had recently married. She was driving a car insured by her new in-laws. Oops!

And she mentioned it to an attorney, no less. Oops is right! I hope you are not injured.

[indysteel]

And she mentioned it to an attorney, no less. Oops is right! I hope you are not injured.

I actually felt sorry for her as she seemed upset. She'd never been in an accident, so I walked her through what typically happens. She was a nice young woman, and we were very cordial to one another. Thankfully, my neck and back aren't sore, and I assume the car is fixable. So, it's all okay.

Plus, my lovely husband brought me some tulips yesterday. Isn't that sweet?

[Owlie]

Well, if you send me a PM with the name of the tea, I'll go buy some and report back. I can even send you a small amount for you to try (smaller than they ship); that would allow you to try it out and decide for yourself by just trying a pot or two. Imperfect way to do it, but a good way for you to perhaps try it out and for me to try anew tea or two ...

And this is why I love you guys. PM sent.

Indy, I'm glad you're okay, and that everything should work out. :)

Dear BF:
Seriously? You can't make spaghetti without asking me questions? This isn't rocket science. I managed to figure it out when I was ten!

[crazycanuck]

Dear Tropical Cyclone Bianca, (http://www.watoday.com.au/environment/weather/perth-endures-a-sticky-scorching-day-as-cyclone-turns-up-the-heat-20110128-1a7lj.html)

Shoo, Shoo!

Please don't land near Busselton...I really won't appreciate swimming into large groups of stingers on the 6th becuase of you!!!

Also, farmers down south are already under pressure w dry conditions so don't even think about turning that wind up!! We don't need out of control bushfires..

Go bother some uninhabited island somewhere west of us in the Indian Ocean.

Shooo!Shoo!

Shoo I say!

[tangentgirl]

Wow I love this thread all of a sudden.

Dear, dear male friend: please don't yell at your girlfriend as she tries to learn to manage a road bike, with clipless pedals, in traffic for the first time. That's not helping. If you are nice, she might end up liking this sport. If not, you're going to end up riding on your own, or with a good ol sausagefest. I assume that's not why you encouraged her to ride in the first place, right? Think it through, put on your patience hat.

I'll give you some crap when we aren't all together, so as not to make you look like the idigit you are bein in front of her. But I'm sure she can tell, so, yknow.

[Catrin]

Dear Winter,

Enough already! You have been quite generous since November, but frankly, it is getting old! I have been able to ride my bike exactly ONCE since December 1. My beautiful car is unrecognizable from the amount of cr*p from the road and I've given up washing it because as soon as I spend the money to wash it, the stuff returns the next day. I can't keep throwing money at it and my car isn't happy.

NOW I hear we might get an inch of ice or more Tuesday or Wed, and points NW of us might get 10 inches of snow! Please give us a break, I do NOT want to use my vacation time because I won't drive to work during/after an ice storm. I think we might also be running out of salt and sand in the area and you have already given us more than a foot of snow than we normally get.

Please cease and desist,

Thank you.

[Owlie]

Catrin: +1. I think Cleveland usually gets more snow than Indy anyway, but I'm getting really sick of it. I haven't taken the bike out because if it's not snowing, it's wet and icky or far too cold for me to be comfortable.


Wow I love this thread all of a sudden.

Dear, dear male friend: please don't yell at your girlfriend as she tries to learn to manage a road bike, with clipless pedals, in traffic for the first time. That's not helping. If you are nice, she might end up liking this sport. If not, you're going to end up riding on your own, or with a good ol sausagefest. I assume that's not why you encouraged her to ride in the first place, right? Think it through, put on your patience hat.

I'll give you some crap when we aren't all together, so as not to make you look like the idigit you are bein in front of her. But I'm sure she can tell, so, yknow.

Oh dear. Part of the reason I like riding on my own is because DBF isn't around! His mom told me when I first started riding, "You know, most cycling guys want you to be successful. The problem is, they want you to be successful right now!"

Dear body--
Stop. I can't concentrate. I can't actually get off the couch or out of the chair for any more than about 30 seconds. I know it's only one or two days a month, but I would like to get on with my life.

[tangentgirl]

..."You know, most cycling guys want you to be successful. The problem is, they want you to be successful right now!"


Funny!

Hope you feel better soon, Owlie.

[channlluv]

I'm not the tea expert you are, but I've ordered from these folks. They've got some really cool teas -- one of them is a tea that, as it brews, unfolds into a flower shape. Pretty cool.

http://www.holymtn.com/WhatsNew.htm

[Catrin]

I'm not the tea expert you are, but I've ordered from these folks. They've got some really cool teas -- one of them is a tea that, as it brews, unfolds into a flower shape. Pretty cool.

http://www.holymtn.com/WhatsNew.htm

www.specialteas.com also have nice teas. Well, apparently they are now part of something called Tevana, but hopefully that will be ok. If you like "blooming teas" they have more here (http://www.teavana.com/The-Teas/Blooming-Teas/) I love tea myself and am very picky...too picky I am sure :o

[Owlie]

www.specialteas.com also have nice teas. Well, apparently they are now part of something called Tevana, but hopefully that will be ok. If you like "blooming teas" they have more here (http://www.teavana.com/The-Teas/Blooming-Teas/) I love tea myself and am very picky...too picky I am sure :o

I actually ordered quite a bit from SpecialTeas'--the two I'm running out of were ST's. DBF's got some of Teavana's equivalent of one, and it's not bad, but isn't quite as good. They don't have the other one. Teavana has some good (if quite expensive) stuff, but a lot of their offerings are just weird froo-froo blends. Some of them are actually good, but a lot of them are just odd...and expensive. (I'm also a little bitter because they discontinued one of my favorite teas. I'll get over it.)

Tangentgirl--Thanks. I think the drugs are finally kicking in (naproxen is my new best friend)!

[NbyNW]

What Catrin said.

[crazycanuck]

Dear ex downgraded cyclone, tropical depression

I can handle a bit o heat but not with humidty..I really don't like it when it's 25C & 100% humidity @ 430am...but it seems you've decreased the humidty!!!!

Thank you for not causing too much damage out west.

Now, if you can tell your other tropical cyclone friends to leave Northern Queensland alone, it would be appreciated.

[lph]

Dear ex-friend,
I thought we had parted on somewhat amicable terms, without undue bitterness, and that we had agreed that breaking off all but random contact is the best thing. So why exactly did you feel the need to send me yet another e-mail telling me that you had deleted all of our considerable correspondence (and at the very same time waxing sentimental about the good old days)? And when I asked you to please not tell me stuff like that because it honestly hurts, why did you then have to reveal that you'd actually deleted it all earlier at some point but changed your mind? And when I repeated that I really don't want to be told this because it upsets me - why in the name of g*d did you have to tell me that you have now changed your mind, kept it all, and for what it's worth, you still consider me a friend. Nope. We broke up two weeks ago. To be absolutely technically correct - you broke up with me.

I'll hand it to you, though: this perfectly illustrates why I have to get away from you. You're generous and funny and a terrific friend when it suits you to be so, but your love of drama and self-pity way overshadows any true empathy you might feel. Just go away. I do not want to write any more posts on this thread about you.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I'll hand it to you, though: this perfectly illustrates why I have to get away from you. You're generous and funny and a terrific friend when it suits you to be so, but your love of drama and self-pity way overshadows any true empathy you might feel. Just go away. I do not want to write any more posts on this thread about you.

Sounds like you are making a healthy decision. Such 'friends' can be way too draining. I hope you find a more positive friend soon!

[indysteel]

lph, it SO sounds you're making a great decision. Your friend sounds like she has Borderline Personality Disorder. The leading book on it is called "I Hate You Don't Leave Me." Sound familiar? That's obviously a very arm chair diagnosis but Borderlines are darn near impossible to deal with. It's sometimes better to cut your losses and run for cover. Unfortunately, Borderlines ca be very charismatic, so it's sometimes hard to recognize their toxicity at first.

Good luck. I'm sorry you lost a friend. That's never easy.

[Crankin]

Pretty good, for an armchair diagnosis!

[lph]

Thanks, peeps.

*sigh* yeah, I checked it out, and while I'll leave the diagnosing to the professionals, a lot did ring true.

Part of what has been making this difficult is this persons tendency to downplay and redefine what was said and written, and why, at a later point. Or at best blame being "a bit too spontaneous". But I'm done trying to guess what was "really" meant. If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, and when I get hit in the face with it - it feels like a duck - it doesn't really matter if the person wielding it insists that it's just a cute little duckling... :)

[limewave]

Stay strong LPH. It will be better for both of you. Just keep to the well-defined boundaries you've laid out for your relationship (or lack of).

[Dogmama]

I would set my email to automatically trash any correspondence from that person. Nobody needs to have the life sucked out of them.

[tulip]

I would set my email to automatically trash any correspondence from that person. Nobody needs to have the life sucked out of them.

I did that with someone. Works like a charm.

[malkin]

Oh ick. Sounds like a real PITA.

[alexis_the_tiny]

This might be very ill-advised but,

Dear boyfriend, go sod yourself. First you try to shunt me off with this group when you rode with another. Now you say I have to be able to ride 40km in 1 hour and 14 minutes before I can ride with this group because you're riding with them or I must go join the other group? Seriously, who died and made you god?

[marni]

This might be very ill-advised but,

Dear boyfriend, go sod yourself. First you try to shunt me off with this group when you rode with another. Now you say I have to be able to ride 40km in 1 hour and 14 minutes before I can ride with this group because you're riding with them or I must go join the other group? Seriously, who died and made you god?

Oh How I hear you! My mother's favorite statement was "you either have to learn to think of them as endearing qualities or kill them>'' Been there done that and have metaphysically killed them frequently. That is why I now ride almost exclusively solo or with a group of women. I have had quite enough of trying to keep up with anyone.

[crazycanuck]

Dear Cyclone Yasi,

Please slow down :( & don't cause too much damage to Far North Qld..:(

May it not be as bad as Cyclone Larry...

Queenslanders have certainly had enough of mother nature..what have they done to piss you off???

[Cataboo]

Dear crazy friend, I get that you have a lot on your plate with work, family, etc. But you're making some crazy bad decisions and I have to deal with your crying fits because of your self created drama this week that you're staying with me. The heart wants what the heart wants is not an excuse for you to do whatever you want, including breaking up marriages.

Next crying fit, I am tempted to try to slap some sense into you, 'cause consoling you and giving you gentle reminders of the right thing to do is apparently too easily ignored.

And call me an old judgemental cynic, but I seriously don't believe love at first sight trumps 13 years of marriage. And I guess I don't believe in love at first sight, I do believe that infactuation at first sight can grow into love.

You make my head hurt.

[limewave]

Dear crazy friend, I get that you have a lot on your plate with work, family, etc. But you're making some crazy bad decisions and I have to deal with your crying fits because of your self created drama this week that you're staying with me. The heart wants what the heart wants is not an excuse for you to do whatever you want, including breaking up marriages.

Next crying fit, I am tempted to try to slap some sense into you, 'cause consoling you and giving you gentle reminders of the right thing to do is apparently too easily ignored.

And call me an old judgemental cynic, but I seriously don't believe love at first sight trumps 13 years of marriage. And I guess I don't believe in love at first sight, I do believe that infactuation at first sight can grow into love.

You make my head hurt.

Oh dear.

[Veronica]

Dear Tucker,

I know you have a very important schedule every day - play, eat nap, chase Cassie, chitter at the birds, play with the Curlies through the window... etc. You are a very busy big baby. But could we please move the snuggle moment to an earlier time in the day? I really like snuggling with you, but I can't be late to work and I feel so badly every time I have to push you out of my lap.

Love,

Your "mom"

PS You do have the loudest rumble and it makes me smile to hear it.

[lph]

Dear Self,

If you're going to gripe and complain about how painful and difficult it is to insert earrings into your tender, newly-pierced ears and how you never would have done it if you'd known how much fuss it was, please check that you are actually aiming at the hole. Trying to stab an earring through the unbroken skin of your ear, mulitple times, is obviously going to hurt.

yrs, the exasperated rest of you

[Dogmama]

lph - try putting a little antibiotic ointment on the posts of your earrings. They will slide in easier.

Signed,

Been There, Done That

[Catrin]

I actually ordered quite a bit from SpecialTeas'--the two I'm running out of were ST's. DBF's got some of Teavana's equivalent of one, and it's not bad, but isn't quite as good. They don't have the other one. Teavana has some good (if quite expensive) stuff, but a lot of their offerings are just weird froo-froo blends. Some of them are actually good, but a lot of them are just odd...and expensive. (I'm also a little bitter because they discontinued one of my favorite teas. I'll get over it.)

I just saw this, and say it isn't so! I really did like the oolongs that Special Teas sold, but looking deeper into Teavana's offerings I see what you mean....sigh...

Speaking of oolong, I am trying to find a source for Quangzhou Oolong - it is delightful and while I do have a local source for it I am hoping that I can find it for at least a little lower price. I want to buy at least a .5 pound of it, but my local store doesn't sell in quantities larger than 1 ounce, and I suspect that I can find it in bulk for less than $65 for a half pound!

[crazycanuck]

Dear wind,

Please stop !!!! Because of you, the bushfire's threating our friends house and quite a few others in two bushfires in Perth...:mad: I really don't appreciate it. You're not supposed to calm til tomorrow :(

Dear Fires, http://www.watoday.com.au/environment/weather/bushfire-rages-out-of-control-in-perth-suburbs-20110206-1ai22.html
Stop..:(..

[alexis_the_tiny]

Crazycanuck, oh dear. Fingers crossed for a better change in the weather...

[bmccasland]

Let's see, y'all have had, fire and flood, dare I ask when is the insect invasion?
Hope your friend's house is safe.

[Owlie]

Wow, CC. You guys need a break.

Dear people upstairs--
The one time I want to go to bed before midnight, you decide to play loud music, using the stereo that is apparently right over my bed. Thanks so much.

Dear winter--
You know, I'm getting sick of you. I can't go out and ride because of the slush all over the roads and it being too d*** cold. I can't go out for a walk/jog-thing because the sidewalks are by-and-large covered in a foot of snow and ice. I'm getting cabin fever! I'm also sick and tired of the lack of fruit and veggies. I suppose this means that I appreciate spring and summer all the more.

[Becky]

Dear admin,

Rather than complaining about the project, how about offering some constructive feedback so that I can make some useful changes? "These d@mn things suck" is not helpful.

Signed,
Frustrated

[limewave]

Dear Employer,

Getting to work from home most of the time is a great benefit that I am truly thankful for. And last week, during the blizzard, giving the employees a paid "holiday" because of the weather was a good thing too. I just wish you'd extend part of that benefit to your home office employees. Every daycare and school was closed in the area. Finding babysitting for the day was really difficult. And to shovel ourselves out to deliver the children to a babysitter took hours. However I still managed to get in 4 hours of work. Had I known that the Paid time off would not have been extended to me, I would have worked on Saturday to make up the remaining time. I was hoping to save my vacation time for vacation.

Limewave.

[tulip]

Carytown Teas (http://www.carytownteas.com/store/Default.aspx?alias=www.carytownteas.com/STORE/TEA). They ship (but lucky for me I can ride my bike there)

Owlie, I sent you a PM on the tea thing.

[lph]

Dear TE'ers:

it's killing me til not comment on the dancing school spam post, but I'll be a really good girl this time and let it disappear by itself. (Or by moderator, as the case may be).

But surely here I can snicker at it.

"Dancing is a pleasurable commotion for all ages and all juncture."
"Our classes are familiarized in the direction of duos and we do not necessitate duos to spin."

Oh my. :D :D

[Catrin]

Dear TE'ers:

it's killing me til not comment on the dancing school spam post, but I'll be a really good girl this time and let it disappear by itself. (Or by moderator, as the case may be).

But surely here I can snicker at it.

"Dancing is a pleasurable commotion for all ages and all juncture."
"Our classes are familiarized in the direction of duos and we do not necessitate duos to spin."

Oh my. :D :D

Here is another one:

"In the present day, nearly all populace go to dances to dance with their collaborator" Makes it sound like an illegal activity :D

At least it IS in the "way off topic" forum :)

It does make you wonder how much spam the moderator catches, probably far more than we realize...

[crazycanuck]

I reported the post as spam...
-------
Just letting you know our friend's house is ok & was not damaged in the fire. I think they were a smidgen of a bit away from the area but they evacuated anyways.

A gent accidentally started the fire w his axle grinder..http://www.watoday.com.au/environment/weather/as-the-smoke-clears-the-bushfire-devastation-is-revealed-20110208-1akku.html. Apparently there was a TFB at the time as well...I don't know if i could live with myself knowing that i'd helped destroy 71 houses

I dearly hope the forecasted high winds this weekend don't spark another one.

[limewave]

Dear Self:

1) You do NOT want another baby.
2) Mind your own business.
3) Think spring. February is a short month. And you always get to go on a nice outdoor ride in March. Hang in there!

~Limewave

[SadieKate]

Dear manager to whom I do not report:

I don't care if you are the CEO of our big-a$$, gigandawanda company. Your title alone is not enough for me to bump you to the top of the list. If you want to meet with me, tell me WHY you come before sales and revenue-related commitments I have already made.

And b!tchy responses just make me even more likely to hold my ground to follow directives given by my manager and expectations from sales mgmt all the way to the top of our big-a$$, gigandawanda company that is in the last quarter of the fiscal year. Contracts and moolah come first, not your title.

~SK

[Owlie]

Dear parents--
Please get off my back.

[SadieKate]

Dear Owlie,

I think that's in their job description.

~SK

PS - But I am sooo with you! :)

[crazycanuck]

:( I received a message from a friend informing me that thier parents house was lost in the bushfire on the weekend :(

[Owlie]

Dear certain graduate program--
Since I know when your campus visit dates are, I think I can safely assume that I didn't make your "to interview" cut. Okay, I can accept that. It would rather nice, though, if you TOLD me that instead of leaving me to guess. I suppose mailing all of your rejection letters at one go would be easier, but still...

[channlluv]

I'm sorry to hear that, Owlie.

Roxy

[tulip]

Owlie, call them up and ask them. The worst that could happen is that they tell you that you didn't get in, which is what you already expect. But, there could be another explanation and it would be worth a call. At the very least, you will have a definitive answer and will be able to move on cleanly and swiftly.

[Owlie]

Dear former university--
I understand that you don't want people who aren't presently associated with the university using your gym's equipment. But it means that, since I don't have a university ID, I can't see the friend I haven't seen for a long time. She's up here for a frisbee tournament. :(

Dear friend--
I'm sorry. I'm guessing you're leaving right after (can't blame you), or I'd have suggested we get dinner afterward.

Dear same friend's mom--
I like you as a person, I just don't agree with your political views. Stop asking what I think of X, Y, or Z, please.

[OakLeaf]

Aw, Owlie, sorry on both counts. Hugs to you.



Dear Jay Leno: You can have your chin back now. It didn't look that good on me.

Dear Mickey Mouse: You can have your hand back too. Honestly, I don't know how you get anything done at all.

Dear bike: Nice to ride you again. :)

[Catrin]

Owlie - sorry to read that and sending hugs/good thoughts your way.

[malkin]

Owlie--maybe that school has got you as a second round draft pick.
Hang in there.

[indysteel]

Dear Afternoon: You're dragging; painfully so. All I can think about right now is my warm yoga studio and my 5:30 class. And you, boring afternoon, are standing in the way of that. Please move along a little faster. Thank you.

[Catrin]

Dear Afternoon: You're dragging; painfully so. All I can think about right now is my warm yoga studio and my 5:30 class. And you, boring afternoon, are standing in the way of that. Please move along a little faster. Thank you.

It will be here quicker than you think :) At least I really hope that it is!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

It will be here quicker than you think :) At least I really hope that it is!

and....it's already over! ;)

[Catrin]

Dear Peeps on a cycling mailing list,

Those things that you use to stop your bike are called "brakes", NOT 'breaks'. This happens on a frequent basis and it is irritating - probably because I cannot understand how the two words can be confused with each other :rolleyes:

[snapdragen]

Dear Peeps on a cycling mailing list,

Those things that you use to stop your bike are called "brakes", NOT 'breaks'. This happens on a frequent basis and it is irritating - probably because I cannot understand how the two words can be confused with each other :rolleyes:

So....what about peddles? :D:D

[Catrin]

So....what about peddles? :D:D

LOL, they do that sometimes too, but breaks for brakes seems to be more common on that particular list. I don't understand confusing pedals for peddles either :D

[OakLeaf]

I don't see the noun confused often, but I probably see "peddling" more often than "pedaling" when the latter is meant. Newspaper stories, wherever. No one knows how to spell any more, and if it passes their spell checker, it goes. :mad:

[NbyNW]

LOL, they do that sometimes too, but breaks for brakes seems to be more common on that particular list. I don't understand confusing pedals for peddles either :D

or petals

[jessmarimba]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets caught up in stuff like this! My favorite from our local newspaper is reading about people "repelling" down mountains. It'd be pretty impressive if I could repel a mountain...

[NbyNW]

My personal favorite is "please bare with me"

[PamNY]

On several dog lists I'm on, dogs are shown for "confirmation" instead of "conformation." Makes my fingers itch to correct them.

[channlluv]

Misused apostrophes make me cringe.

Roxy

[crazycanuck]

Dear Mummies w the little prince n princess @ the coffee shop today.

Hellooooooo...The cafe's NOT a playground!!! :mad: :mad: Telling little prince boy to "don't go beyond there" isn't very logical for a small child...DUH!!! :rolleyes: Also, since when do you allow YOUR child to get in the way of people SERVING others. Excuse me, your child was in the way of the waitress doing HER JOB. ALSO, your sprocket BLOCKED the door, put his hands on the glass pane on the food display area.

AGHGHHGGHHG..Go to A PARK and have coffee. Do not bother the rest of us with your sprockets.

Harumph.

[Dogmama]

"Specially prepared for you"

What happened to the "e"?

<sigh...>

[Crankin]

How about "I road my bike down the rode."
I see that one a lot here...

And, an apostrophe is not necessary every time you see an "s" at the end of a word.

Sigh,
I guess you weren't in my English class in 7th grade

[alexis_the_tiny]

Owlie, I think that might actually break some kind of contract they signed at your birth....

[HillSlugger]

Many of the race reports I read will talk about "coming down the shoot". No, it's *chute*! :rolleyes:

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I get irked by unnecessary apostrophe's too.