Dear So and So

[Catrin]

I hope you are ok Crankin, please keep us posted. Hopefully the wine & chocolate tasting cured whatever ails you, and have a nice evening!

[Pax]

Dear Airlines,

Bus travel was nicer than this in the 60's. Sitting in the Orlando airport waiting to head to Illinois, flight is delayed and I've got a small unaccompanied kid walking on all the seats and yelling, airline folks are doing nothing.

sigh


Breathe and get through it, breathe and get through it

[Crankin]

Did a 3.6 mile hike up the mountain road, to the notch. DH rode up this, from the other side, and down what we hiked up today, on our very first bike trip. I can honestly say I made the right decision back then, to get in the van. The rate approaching the top of the notch had to have been 15%, and on the bike, it was in the descending direction.
Today's hike was fun. The road was snow covered, but not deep, just wore our ice spikes. It was a bit icy near the top. We saw snow shoe-ers, hikers, one runner, and 2 snowboarders, one downhill skier going down... teens of course. Also a couple of cross country skiers and one telemarker. I got hotter than hell going up, but when we descended, the sun had gone in, and it was breezy. Now eating and getting ready to start for home.

[OakLeaf]

Crankin, glad you're feeling better. Safe travels home.

Pax ... there are so many reasons it's worth it to me to fly out of DAB instead of MCO ... but the theme park travelers are a big one. Plus, for a longer trip, the cheaper parking outstrips the higher airfare. Hope you've arrived safe and sound and have a wonderful visit!

[Crankin]

Made it home, with little issue. Some holiday traffic at one highway split, but generally, since everyone in MA is on vacation for the week (well, at least those with kids), a lot of travelers are still away.
I feel fine. Was tired after the hike, and my head is still "full," but I haven't sneezed in 2 days. Can't say I didn't enjoy myself, despite the illness and no snow. I am pissed I missed the skiing and snow shoeing on Friday, as I did not get to ski at all. The 2 places we hiked were unusual and awesome, though. And, the best restaurant we went to, was on Thursday night, when I really felt awful.
I hope we get at least one good snowstorm before the next month is over. The winter seems to have gone fast, and while I did ride outdoors a few times in January, I miss the change of activity. I haven't even been to my favorite more local touring centers this year.
"Wintry mix" tonight, sigh.

[Catrin]

Glad you're feeling better Crankin! We just had our THIRD snow of the year (that's all). It was the biggest for the season so far and we got <3 inches...

[Crankin]

Update... so I went to the doctor this morning, as I am not any better. Got my antibiotic and I know my sinuses will feel better within a few hours. I will deal with the stomach upset, as I gotta get back to real life here. She said it may well have been viral, but with me, all things go to my sinuses. My lungs are fine.
DH is sick now, and not happy.

[OakLeaf]

Yuck. Hope you and your DH feel better soon.

[Crankin]

Thanks, Oak. The sinus pain is subsiding, but I feel incredibly tired. I am very behind in my paperwork, so I completed 2/5 yearly reviews that are due in February. Very unlike me, but the first time doing this on our new electronic med records system, actually requires more work, since I can't just do the yearly treatment plan update form. That would have taken someone scanning in all of the original ones that could pre-populate the update form. So... a lot of cutting and pasting to do the original over and fill out 2 other forms. Time to rest. I really wanted to go to circuit training class tomorrow, but I am not. If I feel OK, I will do a slow walk on the treadmill, at home.

[emily_in_nc]

Sorry you're still not well, Crankin, but I am not really surprised since these things take time to run their course, no matter what you do or do not do, it seems. Sorry your husband has it now too. What a drag! Feel better soon!

[Sky King]

Rain is good, rain means the maybe the summer won't be so dry, maybe fires won't be as bad. Rain is good... Damn I wish it would stop raining as we have a bike trip planned this weekend!

[Blueberry]

Dear Mom:

I get that you are a busy person, but you need to understand that I am to. You say you want to have a good relationship with me, and that you want to talk more on the phone (something I detest, but have been trying to accommodate).

Every. Single. Time I call you you either say you'll have to call me back when it's convenient, or you hang up on me for another call and say you'll call back. Every. Single. Time. If you really value my talking to you, then maybe you should start acting like it.

Dear legislature and governor of my state:

Have you lost your minds? I'm tired of apologizing for your discriminatory, hateful, hurtful, and wholly illogical behavior. You suck.

Dear Fellow Citizens:

See above - can we please all get it together and vote some new people into office?

[shootingstar]

Wishing you better chats with your mother, Blueberry.
It's difficult enough with our mother since we've lost a lot of Chinese speaking fluency.

Many Canadians are concerned who will be elected as President in late fall. However we have our own economic challenges, never mind what is happening south of the international border.

[Blueberry]

Wishing you better chats with your mother, Blueberry.
It's difficult enough with our mother since we've lost a lot of Chinese speaking fluency.

Many Canadians are concerned who will be elected as President in late fall. However we have our own economic challenges, never mind what is happening south of the international border.

Thanks, Shootingstar. My relationship has always been challenging - I'm getting a bit tired of trying to fix it.

I'm sure the rest of the world is concerned about our Presidential - along with many of us. However, my state in it's lack of wisdom just made it illegal for local cities to put protections in place for LGBTQ++ folks - for example, requiring trans-gender people to use the gender bathroom that is stated on their birth certificate and not the one of their gender. It's so illogical it hurts my brain.

[emily_in_nc]

However, my state in it's lack of wisdom just made it illegal for local cities to put protections in place for LGBTQ++ folks - for example, requiring trans-gender people to use the gender bathroom that is stated on their birth certificate and not the one of their gender. It's so illogical it hurts my brain.

Yep, North Carolina is proving itself to be a complete embarrassment lately. I am ashamed of my home state. I can't even help vote the crazies out since I am legally a Florida resident now (full-time nomad, actually, but you have to "live" somewhere for tax/voting/car registration purposes).

[VeganBikeChick]

Dear Universe,

I think I've had enough bad karma to last a lifetime. I'm begging you to stop, please. For example, yesterday I went to get an estimate and schedule an appointment for some auto body repairs I need done to my car. Today, I scrape up the undamaged side of my car unintentionally. At least I have an appointment to get it fixed already, ha. Seriously, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Today's example pretty much illustrates my life. One step forward and two steps back.

[ny biker]

Dear Universe,

I think I've had enough bad karma to last a lifetime. I'm begging you to stop, please. For example, yesterday I went to get an estimate and schedule an appointment for some auto body repairs I need done to my car. Today, I scrape up the undamaged side of my car unintentionally. At least I have an appointment to get it fixed already, ha. Seriously, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Today's example pretty much illustrates my life. One step forward and two steps back.

Yeah I totally know this feeling. Though I notice I care less about cosmetic damage to my car since it passed 100,000 miles. But overall it does seem lately like I bounce from problem to annoyance to problem, with just enough serious stuff to make the small things wear down my last good nerve.

Fwiw, I tend to scratch my car the day *after* the body work is completed.

[smilingcat]

Dear new lawyer,

thank you for straightening out my mother's affair. My mother is lot happier that the source of the problem has been dealt with and her will now reflects what she really wanted. And thank you to her very close friend of nearly 50 years to get my mother to see the light.

I just can't thank enough to both of them. yayy!! big monkey is off my back.

[Pax]

Huge thumbs up for monkeys off backs, congrats!

[Trek420]

Yep, North Carolina is proving itself to be a complete embarrassment lately. I am ashamed of my home state. I can't even help vote the crazies out since I am legally a Florida resident now (full-time nomad, actually, but you have to "live" somewhere for tax/voting/car registration purposes).

But you can buy their beer: http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/04/13/474065811/dont-be-mean-beer-36-n-c-breweries-sign-up-to-sell-brew-aimed-at-hb2

[azfiddle]

Dear bike shop guys,

Thanks for organizing the replacement frame and wheels after the bike rack failure disaster, and for fixing the brakes (even though it took 3 trips) and continuing to try to fix that annoying tap tap tap-tap....tap....tap-tap...on the new bike. It apparently wasn't (just) the saddle but I'm really glad you swapped it out anyway and didn't charge me because I really prefer that slight extra comfort with the Oura instead of the Ruby saddle. But after 6 trips to the shop since the end of March, I really hope I don't have to see you quite so often for a while.

[OakLeaf]

Yep, North Carolina is proving itself to be a complete embarrassment lately. I am ashamed of my home state. I can't even help vote the crazies out since I am legally a Florida resident now (full-time nomad, actually, but you have to "live" somewhere for tax/voting/car registration purposes).

You could start voting the crazies out of Florida ....

[Pax]

You could start voting the crazies out of Florida ....

Working on it.

[emily_in_nc]

Working on it.

Ditto!

[azfiddle]

Dear pavement....

Yeah, I know - how can you write a letter to inanimate objects? But still, it was really, really not nice of you to trip my husband yesterday while he was running. He spent an hour- an hour! getting stitched up, and that was after spending quite a while at urgent care. Stitches on his forehead, side of his head, inside his mouth and on his hand (which was pretty gouged up though I haven't seen what's under the bandages. His teeth were okay though.

[azfiddle]

Dear DH ( the spouse)

I love you but you're really an idiot! When you tripped on your run, only you would decide to take the bus all the way home and wait to borrow the son's car and go to urgent care three hours later. Really, you couldn't have called someone to pick you up? Or gotten off the bus at urgent care on the way home? And I can only imagine what the bus riders thought when you got on looking you had been in a bar fight or something. Sheesh! Glad I didn't see you until all the blood was cleaned up and you were stitched and bandaged.

And could you look where you're going next time?

[Crankin]

You sound about like I would sound, if my DH did this.

[ny biker]

I'm glad he wasn't hurt more seriously! I can understand taking a while to decide that a doctor is necessary, especially if there's no mirror nearby to show how bad you look. But I would not have wanted a bleeding person near me on the bus -- I probably would have asked if he needed any help.

[azfiddle]

Actually, it happened (of all places) right in front of a bike shop... and although it was before their opening hours, their door was open and he went in and used their restroom to clean up, and got some first aid stuff they gave him to start with. So he would have seen how he looked. Oh, and I forgot to mention the black eye.

[Sky King]

azfiddle - Ouch! that must have been some fall.

Yesterday was my day to work at my other job. The Bike Hermit is on a bike tour this week so I had to leave the shop closed. Put a note on the door, etc. Got home (we live above the shop) and there were 4 shipping boxes sitting INSIDE the bike shop - I know all the doors were locked. Emailed our property mgr and he said none of his people unlocked our door. Sent an email to my neighbor - hoping at some point I told her where our extra key is and she put them in the shop - Did not sleep well last night !

[rebeccaC]

Dear DH ( the spouse)

I love you but you're really an idiot! When you tripped on your run, only you would decide to take the bus all the way home and wait to borrow the son's car and go to urgent care three hours later. Really, you couldn't have called someone to pick you up? Or gotten off the bus at urgent care on the way home? And I can only imagine what the bus riders thought when you got on looking you had been in a bar fight or something. Sheesh! Glad I didn't see you until all the blood was cleaned up and you were stitched and bandaged.

And could you look where you're going next time?

I’m sure he has more good qualities than faults….love and forgiveness ftw :)

Hoping he heals quickly from the nuances of gravity…….

[azfiddle]

I read these two posts to him and we had a good laugh. Sure he has lots of good qualities, and he does some amazing things (like running his age every year) but sometimes he is very eccentric/idiosyncratic.

[Crankin]

To think that even with good qualities, you might never get annoyed, or even upset with your partner is just unrealistic. If you are like AZ, you can laugh about it in the end, but this is just part of life.
I get annoyed with my DH, for what I perceive to be "stupid" things. We do things differently, despite our many similarities, so I mostly don't say anything, but occasionally, I am like AZ and say, "And what were you thinking???"After almost 38 years, so what? Guess I am not perfect, just truthful.

[rebeccaC]

I read these two posts to him and we had a good laugh.

..:)..

[Catrin]

Yikes! Glad he is ok! I also totally understand why he waited - it's like my fall last year at work that I attempted to ignore...hoping he heals quickly from his fall!

[rebeccaC]

Dear Prince
From my preteen years with my cousin Precilia and your Emancipation album to your ‘Rally 4 Peace’ concert in Baltimore last year you’ve been in my life a long time. From irritating my grandmother to the Baltimore rally with its symbolic message of our shared humanity as a catalyst for pause and reflection following Freddie Gray’s death…..I’ve enjoyed many moments with your musical spirit. I hope you get to meet Precilia……

au revoir mon amour

rebecca

Baltimore

http://youtu.be/cieZB0Ab7xk

[Pax]

Lovely, thanks Rebecca.

I feel in love with When Doves Cry playing in the background, bittersweet memories.

[OakLeaf]

Dear universe,

Whatever you've been doing taking seminal artists away from us recently, put it on hold for a while, okay? Please?



(Dear Az - glad your DH is going to be okay. Understand that he was probably a little shock-y and not in a position to make completely rational decisions. Hope he doesn't have any joint strains/displacements.)

[azfiddle]

Thanks Oakleaf- it was mostly cuts and scrapes... the hand was kind of ugly- glad I didn't have to see it before he went to the doc. He still has bad wrist from his last running incident, in which he fell on both wrists on the sidewalk just by our house.... one has never healed completely and that was 3 years ago. :(

[ny biker]

Dear person who damaged the electrical cable causing the neighborhood-wide power outage at work: Maybe the thousands of other people who had to leave their jobs early today are happy about it, but you royally screwed up my afternoon.

Dear person who drives really slowly in the left lane of the highway: There's a special level of hell just for you.

[rebeccaC]

dear mother

Thank you for always being so open and supportive to me following my dreams, even when you didn't "quite" understand them:) Your ability to be open, curious, fun and enlightening inspires me everyday. I love you and am so grateful to be your daughter!

rebecca

[OakLeaf]

Dear person who walked into my house and stole my iPad and my DH's:

You suck. Everyone in the neighborhood knows who you are, and one of these days you're going to get caught and sent back to prison, hopefully for a longer stint than before.

On the other hand, thanks for not taking anything else. This time. I wish there was a way to prevent a next time without turning myself into a paranoid lunatic. Because with you, there will be a next time. That's what really upsets me.

[Pax]

That sucks, Oak.

[Crankin]

That's terrible, Oak. I am totally the non-paranoid type, but this would get to me!

[azfiddle]

Ugh- that stinks.

[Catrin]

Oh my, that seriously sucks :mad:

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk

[Blueberry]

UGH. I'm so sorry.

I presume the police can't/won't do anything? That would definitely get to me. We actually have a security system as of the last year. We didn't want one, but we kind of thought our number might be up and decided to err on the side of caution. I don't like paying to protect my $hit, but I really do appreciate that the thing would wake me up if someone came in overnight (or when I'm sleeping weird hours thanks to the med student schedule).

[emily_in_nc]

So sorry, Oak. I don't know the circumstances, but that just doesn't sound right. If people know who did it, can't they be reported and questioned at least?

[OakLeaf]

It's not like we "know" know. It's like, these people are a known problem, they've broken into other surrounding houses and gotten caught doing that, there are only a handful of people who even know our house is back here. We're half a mile from the road on a shared lane - we try to intercept any parcel deliveries and have them held at the depot, but when that doesn't happen, half the time the delivery drivers leave the parcel at one of the other houses on our lane because *they* don't even know our house is here. So there's a pretty limited pool of people who might have done it, and most of those I know well enough to be sure they didn't, but no evidence against anyone.


Security system wouldn't help anything for the same reason, but I'm thinking about a webcam that would at least capture images and let us know if someone's inside.

[Crankin]

Our web cam helped us a lot during the sale of our house. But, the reason we got it was because we had a weird scam-like thing happen in 2008. We were in San Diego for Thanksgiving, when DH got an angry phone call from a woman berating him for stealing her credit card and using it to order things to be delivered to our house. It was surreal, when it happened; we were in Barnes and Nobles, purusing books with both of our sons. But, DH and the woman figured out that somehow her data and DH's had been compromised, and we were worried that a bunch of packages were going to be dropped off on our front door, which, as you know, isn't really visible to anyone. We called the Concord Police, and they either intercepted the scammers before anything got delivered, or the people got scared. But, it freaked us out, and as I said, I am not the paranoid type at all. It was also helpful when we were away and the weather, was bad, we could monitor the need for snow removal or if a package was delivered when we were not there.

[OakLeaf]

Mind if I ask what system you used?

[Crankin]

It is a Logitech, but it has been discontinued. There is much better technology out now.

[OakLeaf]

[snaps fingers] Dangit, I guess I have to do my own homework then. ;)

[Aromig]

Dear Bicyclists who seem to need to race during big events: You're why motorists hate bicycles, and I'm starting to hate you too.

During the Horsey 100 this weekend, I got an early start and got passed by several large groups of very fast moving cyclists. They never warned that they were passing, and they'd force us slower people to run over potholes, etc. since we had no room to avoid bad places in the pavement as large groups were passing. A few times they'd squeeze into me when other faster bikes were passing them and I ended up on grass once, and rubbed wheels another time but managed not to wreck. Seriously. It's 100 miles, you can wait to pass one at a time. It's not going to impact your time that badly. Luckily it got better later in the day as the riders thinned out.

Other times (and I realize this is the exact opposite problem), I'd be behind these groups that were riding two and three wide when cars would be trying to pass them for a few miles and they'd never cinch up.

Seriously riders, you have all day to finish. Use common sense and slow down when necessary or slow down to cinch up and allow cars to pass.

Thank goodness the local club who puts on this ride marks and advertises in advance so there weren't tons of cars, and the cars who were around seemed to be very patient with the riders.

[rebeccaC]

aromig...those are some of the reason's i don't like large organized group rides too or any ride where those things happen...there have been a few good ones though, ragbrai the week long ride across iowa had most of the rural route closed to traffic which gave everyone room to ride how they wanted to and is an amazing adventure with up to 10000+ riders and last years death ride in the sierra nevada's cuz there was so much climbing that everyone was going slower :) and most of the roads were closed too so you could do switchbacking up the steepest parts if needed....if i do one now i'll go for a closed road one first :)

glad it eased up for you!!!!!...congrats on the century!!!!

[Crankin]

This is why I don't do big rides or group rides, unless I know the riders well.

[Aromig]

I choose the large rides I do, and I can usually take precautions to make it better. Our Wednesday night local ride sometimes attracts 50 or more riders, but half of them are racing up front so I just make sure I leave in the back of the pack and I'm fine. The same goes for RAIN. I line up in the back and while it still sucks for the first ten or fifteen miles, its better after that. Now I know the Horsey Hundred is also a leave late kind of ride :-) It was an absolutely beautiful ride so I'll likely do it again next year too.

Rebecca -- I have several friends that have done RABRAI. They say wonderful things about it, and it's on my bucket list even if I can only go for a day or two (I'm pretty sure they have single day registrations in addition to the lottery for the whole week).

Crankin - its funny. I used to be very afraid of traffic. Now I've determined that I might be more likely to wreck when riding with reckless riders (but hopefully the potential damage/injuries will at least be less).

Seriously, sometimes we bikers are our own worst enemies with respect to "public relations" with non-riders. Yesterday I saw a Jimmy John delivery person darting through traffic going the wrong way on a one way street!

[Crankin]

Yes, I am now more afraid of other cyclists than cars, too. My last group ride, 2 weeks ago (that I wasn't leading) had a couple of egregious incidents. I should have gone with the faster group, as they have good manners. Thing is, though, I can barely hang on with them. The next couple of rides with this group are far to drive to, so I will give them a rest. I think some in the group I lead for think I am a Nazi when it comes to safety and cycling etiquette, but I feel a big responsibility when I lead.

[smilingcat]

Dear weather,

What is up with the wild temperature swing? Surely you not going through menopause. But what is the deal? One day, day time high is in the 50's then you decide to have a hot flash and next day the temp spikes into the 90's then back into the low 60's. Yesterday was nice comfortable 70F but this weekend, its going to top 100F then temp is going to drop into low '70s and possibly back into 60's next week. And the lows are just as bad. low 40's one night mid 60's another night... over 40degrees difference in day time high from one day to next is just too much!

Enough! Our layer hens have stopped laying eggs because of the wild temperature swing. It is also the reason why the lettuce leaves are turning bitter and tough while radishes are turning hot. heavy mulching, shade cloth and extra watering can only do so much!! cherries have burnt up without ripening. Strawberries are not doing much better either.

You are forcing us to grow indoors in a controlled environment using vertical hydroponic system and give up permaculture. I really do not want to give up permaculture principles.

GAHHH!!!

[VeganBikeChick]

Dear Girls at Work,

It was really fun to see the pics of your outing last night that you posted. But it makes me wonder if none of you like me, since I wasn't asked nor included. To be fair, I did used to work every Friday through Sunday, and everyone at work knows I work weekends. But some of you who went now know I work every other Friday. I wish I knew what people didn't like about me. It makes me sad.

[shootingstar]

Dear Girls at Work,

It was really fun to see the pics of your outing last night that you posted. But it makes me wonder if none of you like me, since I wasn't asked nor included. To be fair, I did used to work every Friday through Sunday, and everyone at work knows I work weekends. But some of you who went now know I work every other Friday. I wish I knew what people didn't like about me. It makes me sad.

Hey, Vegan either ask about it and see if an extra person is ok for next outing. But be prepared for them not to answer openly.
Otherwise don't sweat it. I've worked for over 9 different employers over past 3 decades.....after all that I didn't keep any friends. It doesn't help because I've lived in 3 different provinces over the years. Some workplaces I never went out of my way to socialize after work. I personally find it easier for reducing workplace / personal conflicts.

I do have 1 friend where she and I work currently for same employer but thankfully she and I work in totally different depts. where our workpaths don't cross. I've wondered why she doesn't invite me to any local social functions with her local personal friends that she's pals for past few decades. They're around the same age as I or older. :confused:

And these other friends of hers, also have similar backgrounds like her and I: born in Canada, Chinese background and university educated, work hard in their careers, etc.

So I have resigned to the thought, I'm "special" to her. I don't what for...except she and I can talk about work stuff and know the personalities of certain employees, talk about cycling (because her paid job involves liveable/cycleable neighbourhoods). I dunno. Or maybe because I don't golf (like these other friends which she does golfing vacations, etc.)

So we all have different friends for different facets of ourselves. And for whatever reasons, it's perceived certain friends don't mix with others. I tried this once for a housewarming party. The vibe didn't work among 4 different close friends that I acquired from different points in my life. :cool: Oh well.

[rebeccaC]

Dear Girls at Work,

It was really fun to see the pics of your outing last night that you posted. But it makes me wonder if none of you like me, since I wasn't asked nor included. To be fair, I did used to work every Friday through Sunday, and everyone at work knows I work weekends. But some of you who went now know I work every other Friday. I wish I knew what people didn't like about me. It makes me sad.

Unless I know a reason I’d assume the intentions weren’t negative. Perhaps they just didn’t think you’d want to go or a number of other innocent reasons. A comment to one of them that you feel close to like “looks like a fun time…wish I’d been invited” would be my response and I’d leave it at that.
Some people are just not sensitive in rejecting others and lack social grace…in that case I would find different people for friends. Being rejected is never fun but it can help to solidify our relationships with those who do care about us. Go for an enjoyable ride!!!...perhaps it would help to clear your mind of this...hoping you feel better

[OakLeaf]

(((VBC))) Office politics are the worst. Sure it's possible they didn't mean anything by it, but that's no reason not to honor your hurt. Take good care. Hope you find someone there to connect with.

[emily_in_nc]

A comment to one of them that you feel close to like “looks like a fun time…wish I’d been invited” would be my response and I’d leave it at that.

Or "Looks like a fun time...let me know the next time; I'd love to join you!" Because you don't want to make them feel guilty or piss them off, I wouldn't think. Keep it positive. :-) And if they don't let you know the next time, well, then you don't need "friends" like that.

[rebeccaC]

Keep it positive. :-)

of course :)

[Crankin]

I concur with Oak, that office politics are the worst. When I was teaching, I did socialize with colleagues outside of work, but in my last teaching job, I really pared that down. There is one person that I still see. And while I actually have more in common with the other therapists I work with now, it's strictly a professional relationship. A lot of them are cyclists, hikers, etc, so we have stuff to talk about at lunch. But, everyone has their own life and friends outside of work.
It feels awful to be rejected or feel left out, and from my vantage, if VBC said something, I am betting they would be surprised and confused, and perhaps angry. People generally are not used to open, honest communication. And women seem to have a herd mentality with this kind of stuff. I am not going to generalize, but I would say hold your head up high and find friends elsewhere.

[VeganBikeChick]

Thanks ladies (hug). It apparently was a last minute thing and no harm meant. Guess I'm just feeling overly sensitive these days. Appreciate your kind words of advice.

[Catrin]

So glad you found out what had happened! I am sensitive in the same way and know my fellow female coworkers do things regularly without inviting me. It used to really bother me but I decided to not allow it to do so. My interests outside work are quite different from theirs which is probably the reason. Occasionally they do something different and make a point to invite me so I don't think its really personal, at least not in that way. Used to really bother me though so I do understand.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk

[emily_in_nc]

I too am really sensitive about these sorts of things and tend to feel left out if I am not invited to do something, even if I end up declining because I don't want to do it, and that happened with some frequency back when I was working since I am introverted and pick my social occasions very carefully.

I am glad it was no big deal after all, VBC, but I too would have felt bad at the time.

[lph]

I was thinking about this topic this weekend, because I was arranging a birthday party for a family member who is a self-professed hermit... It was a bit of challenge, not least because she makes very little effort to keep in touch with people herself and has few friends. Long story, lots of denial going on. Anyway. I can be quite an introvert myself but I recognize my own need for social contact so I make an effort to socialize regularly even when I don't always feel like it. (Wow, sitting quietly at my kitchen table and suddenly the garden filled up with birds. I guess someone noticed the cat wasn't around :-))
My point was that I think everybody, no matter how social or introverted or extroverted, needs to belong to a group somehow. I think maybe the need to belong is stronger than the need for close friends. You can see close friends quite seldom, but on an everyday basis we need people who recognize us and hopefully like us, but simply having some kind of place in a group has value in itself.
Just a random thought.

[rebeccaC]

I think maybe the need to belong is stronger than the need for close friends.
I’d rather feel my need for belonging with a few very close friendships than any number of group casual relationships. Well, groups that allow reasoned non-conformity would be better :)….but yeah I do see the power of belongingness.....especially being part of something bigger and more important than ourselves.

Dear Mother
Yes! We are coming to watch the Tour de France come through Gordes during its Mont Ventoux stage …and on Bastille day!!!!

[emily_in_nc]

My point was that I think everybody, no matter how social or introverted or extroverted, needs to belong to a group somehow.

Then I am in trouble. Now that I am retired, I no longer belong to any sort of "group". I have individual friends scattered all over, some out of the US, but no social group, no work group, no clubs, etc. And since we are traveling full-time, it would be very hard to become part of any group.

Then again, other than a work group, I have never been a "group person". Never joined a sorority, never really had a group of friends; rather, individual friends, only a few of whom knew each other. I've just always been more of an individual or (usually) part of a couple. I had a boyfriend all the way through high school and college (different ones), and married youngish (24), and have been married to the same man for 31 years. Other than our extended families, which I guess you could say are a form of group, we just aren't in any groups.

I think social relationships (friendships, family, etc) are important, but groups, not necessarily. Not for we odd birds, anyway!

[rocknrollgirl]

Then I am in trouble. Now that I am retired, I no longer belong to any sort of "group". I have individual friends scattered all over, some out of the US, but no social group, no work group, no clubs, etc. And since we are traveling full-time, it would be very hard to become part of any group.

Then again, other than a work group, I have never been a "group person". Never joined a sorority, never really had a group of friends; rather, individual friends, only a few of whom knew each other. I've just always been more of an individual or (usually) part of a couple. I had a boyfriend all the way through high school and college (different ones), and married youngish (24), and have been married to the same man for 31 years. Other than our extended families, which I guess you could say are a form of group, we just aren't in any groups.

I think social relationships (friendships, family, etc) are important, but groups, not necessarily. Not for we odd birds, anyway!

Emily,
You and I need to form a group. You just described my life exactly.

I am currently on the outs with a "group" at work ( teachers) because the social politics got to be too much during a stressful year and I just said enough. I feel like I am the one in high school again and I pissed off the popular kids. When do we get to be done with this stuff?

[Crankin]

Teachers are the worst, when it comes to this stuff at work. It's a hazard, I'd say of being a female dominated profession. The mean girls rule.
However, I'd say that while I was part of a group in my last teaching job, it was based on work stuff. And, in middle schools, you work on a team, and that bond can be very strong. What got to me was teachers constantly complaining about their husbands and how stressed they were from their kids. Once in awhile I would pipe in and say, "My husband does not do that." I stopped socializing with work people long ago.
I am very social and have had several groups through out my life. But I have found the principle of "friendly, not friends," (which I used to teach my students, so they could tolerate working with others) needs to be applied at work. One of the reasons I like working in my clinic is that I don't have to socialize with anyone. I meet with my supervisor 1X a week and I casually talk to other therapists. But, I could come in and shut my door and never talk to anyone, if I wanted to. The other therapists are nice and we actually have stuff in common, but I am not going to pursue friendships there.
I am still pretty upset about our friends moving to Amherst. I get very bored without social plans and our other friends are more the just go out to dinner types. Over the years, our commonalities have diminished. I had a huge group of friends as a kid, a group of 5 close friends in HS, and tons of acquaintances, before I moved. I was active in student government and spent my childhood roaming the streets of my neighborhood with a huge group of kids, on my bike. While I do spend the majority of time with my DH, sometimes that gets on my nerves and makes me feel isolated. I even feel antsy at night, because after teaching for so long, I still am not used to not having tons of work to do when I get home. Last night, I said I was bored, and DH told me I was nuts! I'd say one of the only downsides of moving back to MA was that too many people here just hang out with their families, because a lot of them never moved away. Always obligations with parents, siblings, extended families. In AZ my friends were our family, and everyone was in the same boat.

[Helene2013]

I have very little time to "socialize" and I don't miss any of it. Used to when in my 20s but now in my 50s, I prefer to do stuff on my own ground/schedule. I turn down most work events (unless at lunch and even then!) as I have no interest to use my evening time for them. I'm very happy to work with them and have fun, but my time after work is mine. We used to be so busy going from one friend to the next that we ended up rushing to get our stuff done. So little by little, those friends stopped sending us invites and we lost contact. I don't miss it. At all.

Sure I have a friend here and there for a lunch or dinner but that limits the interaction. I have more than enough of my job, house, motorhome, hubby and my 6 pets to keep me busy. No time to whine and get bored. hihi I don't have enough in a week to do all I want to get done.

I'm sure we are far from being alone in that situation.

[shootingstar]

I guess most of my life I'm like Emily_nc. I sorta tried to belong in a group in high school but got bored or never fitted in completely in a group all the time. I even had a very close friend for over 15 yrs. of my life ...she was popular and hung out with group of "in" friends whom I related well with all but never "belonged". So she and I were pals on our own.

I just seem to collect a few very good friends who I keep for past few decades, across Canada and socialize individually when I see them. I'm fine with socializing superficially with others, but after awhile just like go off..cycling on my own.

If I didn't have the 1 very good local friend, I'd probably dislike the city where I live a lot more. I work for the municipality and for certain, working within govn't, I learned much more quickly about the city in a more intimate way and about local stuff.

[Crankin]

Wow, I can't imagine not socializing with friends. I guess I am at a point in my life that I don't have that many obligations. No kids at home, someone else cleans my house, and while I do have a bit of work from my job to do at home, it's intermittent. I'd venture to say that DH and I have been out, mostly with friends, just about every Saturday night of our marriage. Once in awhile we have a weekend of nothing, except riding alone, but that feels lonely to me. Don't get me wrong, I am not partying every night of the week, after work, I almost never go out after work. I think most of my life has been sooooo busy, I feel at a loss when there's nothing planned. At one point, I was teaching full time, had 2 young kids, taught religious school on Sundays, and also taught 3-7 classes a week at the gym. I also was on the board at the JCC. So, that is the normal for me. When I taught, I was on tons of committees and did a lot of work on curriculum and grants. It just seems like I have way too much time now; I have been pondering going up to working 4 days a week instead of 3, but I think i might regret that.

[Helene2013]

Also we get up at 4:15 a.m. for work. So normally, by 9-9:15pm we're in bed. So that leaves little time to go out or get stuff done as we get home at around 5 p.m. I don't have anyone to mow my grass, clean the house, do my laundry, walk the dogs, etc. So my downtime is used for all of this. Just last night we had to rush home to mow the grass/weed eater before another rain pour came down. We finished at 7 p.m. (in the rain), had a quick bite, took care of pets and then first thing I knew, I was already in bed. :( Time goes by way too fast. During the week, I have no time for cycling (even less socializing). If I do, it has to be on the trainer at home so I can throw a toy to a dog at same time. At least, doing my gym at home, frees a bit some time for them. And it does not bother me at all as they are a huge part of our lives.

I cannot wait to retire in 2-4 years, sell this home and get something way smaller and less time consuming. Unfortunately, by the time we are retired, probably 3 of the 6 pets (if not more) will be dead (old age and sick). I'm sure I will find that I too, have too much time on my hands. :)

[emily_in_nc]

I have tons of time on my hands now that I am retired, but I love it and only very rarely feel bored. I am reading lots, blogging, cooking, chatting with friends online, processing photos from our hikes, bike rides, and sight-seeing, and planning our travels. I spend a lot of time outdoors since we're traveling in our motorhome and staying in parks and campgrounds. I do miss going to yoga practice and doing volunteer work with the dog rescue in Playa del Carmen (tho' that was only one day per week, it was still very social), but socializing with friends is a very infrequent thing for us now. When we go back to NC, we do a little socializing, and occasionally we'll meet up with a friend in some other state in our travels, but overall, DH and I are pretty solitary folks. We're friendly to other folks we meet in the campground, but that has never progressed to having drinks or a meal together yet. And we're fine with that.

I used to love going out in the evenings when I was younger, but I hate it now. We take a long walk with our dog after dinner (great for the metabolism), then wind down and start getting ready for bed. We don't watch much TV, but I love a few shows on Create (Chef and the Farmer, America's Test Kitchen, Martha Bakes) and will relax and enjoy them in the evening. I also shower at night rather than in the mornings now since I'm not working.

[Pax]

I miss having a social life. Since moving to FL I haven't met anyone I'd want to socialize with, the activities seem to center on drinking, and while I enjoy my beverages, going out to get sloshed just doesn't appeal. I had hoped once I got back to work that would change, but apparently, I work in the only library in the western hemisphere where the staff are all hard core conservatives. Libraries are normally bastions of liberal, free thinking, social justice type folks, so this is really bizarre.

So far I've been invited to a Trump rally, the local gun range, and church. *sigh*

[Aromig]

I work in a male-dominated field and I find it much easier to socialize with the guys than the girls because its easier (the mean girls are REALLY mean). I do enjoy going to lunch with my work friends, and sometimes we'll have a quick drink (45 minutes or so) after work to socialize. I commute and lose time that way, and am always busy with kid stuff so my work friends satisfy my need to be social yet fits in with my schedule.

[lph]

Sorry, as usual I was generalizing too much :-) I didn't actually mean to say that everybody has to belong to a group. I was thinking specifically about this one person, and musing over the difference between having close friends, casual friends, and just loosely belonging to a social group, even one that doesn't necessarily like you, but where you at least have a defined place.

Ach, I was going to write more but it's really hard to make sensible sentences today. It just makes sense in my head :-P

[lph]

So far I've been invited to a Trump rally, the local gun range, and church. *sigh*

Bwa-ha-haa! Sorry, Pax, but that was pretty funny... :-D

[Pax]

Bwa-ha-haa! Sorry, Pax, but that was pretty funny... :-D

It actually is pretty funny, it's like living inside a caricature. :p

[Crankin]

Nice, Pax. I did laugh, but it's not funny.
I also get up super early, between 4:5 and 5:30 AM, even though I don't have to anymore. I go to bed around 10, but I am often in the bed, reading or watching TV at 9. I exercise in the mornings. Sometimes I do laundry. We live in a townhouse now, so no big outdoor work, but I rarely did that before. DH started out loving yard work and gardening, but after he had been cycling awhile, it took up too much time. We hired people for that, too. In Arizona, it was dirt cheap. When we first moved here, DH did it, until like I said, cycling took over our lives.
We don't have pets for the very reason mentioned by Helene. Too much work, time, and responsibility. We did have a cat for 14 years, and when she died, that was it.
Emily, I wish I could be content, like you, but when I totally (and briefly) stopped working, I felt isolated and bereft of connections. I like working part time, as for me, my job is extremely stressful, and hardly anyone does it 5 days a week. I read and exercise, but after 10 years of cycling with the same groups, I haven't made close friends with any of them, except for my friends who are moving. There are 2 other couples we know from AMC that we socialize with occasionally, and I think we may have to up that. We like them, but they won't be traveling with us, like our other friends.
Aromig, I totally feel like you do. It is often easier for me to socialize with men. Of course, I have worked in 2 female dominated fields, but I really notice it in cycling groups. In the winter, less women go on group rides, and I always find a different dynamic. I like the guys I ride with, they are down to earth and interesting. The women are OK, but not friendly, or trying to drop me!

[emily_in_nc]

So far I've been invited to a Trump rally, the local gun range, and church. *sigh*

:eek: I would much prefer no invitations to those.

[emily_in_nc]

I can't remember which thread it was, this one or Dear So-n-so, or the cycling thread, but I think I jinxed myself. Crankin said she was sick, and I mentioned that I hadn't had a cold since last fall.

DH woke up with a sore throat three days ago, and now I did today. He's been very congested, coughing, blowing nose, and even had one night of chills and sweats (but no body aches or very high fever as with the flu), so I guess that's what I have coming up. Dang it all! :mad:

[rebeccaC]

emily....It makes a lot of sense to get well soon since you have hikes and riding and other adventures waiting…:)...hoping it passes quickly!!!

[Pax]

:eek: I would much prefer no invitations to those.

Ditto, Emily. I made it very clear where I stand on issues, now they don't invite me to anything, or really engage with me at all. Far preferable to being privy to their thoughts on Hillary, guns, Muslims, immigrants, stand your ground laws, what Jesus would or would not do...

[rebeccaC]

Far preferable to being privy to their thoughts on Hillary, guns, Muslims, immigrants, stand your ground laws, "what Jesus would or would not do"...

jesus would have felt the bern :)

[Pax]

jesus would have felt the bern :)

Quite possibly, Rebecca, they like to tell me who he would have hated instead.

[Catrin]

Quite possibly, Rebecca, they like to tell me who he would have hated instead.

Sadly my family does this as well - thankfully I, nor my church, agrees with them. I'm one of those staffing our church booth at Pride this Saturday, and historically, the Episcopal section of the Pride Parade in Indy is quite large - and has been for years. Granted, it was just our parish until a few years ago - but that's ok. Others are joining us now :cool:

Pax, I'm still wrapping my brain around super-conservative librarians - it just doesn't compute.

[Crankin]

I can't imagine a librarian being conservative.
When I moved to Miami at age 15, I was told most pointedly that I would be going to hell, because I was not Christian. Geez, this was in Kendall, a very upscale section of Dade County, where there are lots of Jews. It was unnerving and I just couldn't deal with it, so I just kept my brain thinking, I am getting out of here as soon as I can. I did eventually meet like minded people, but the holy rollers and other assorted nuts were there. Arizona was worse, but I was more mature, and I did live in a university city. But I remember feeling shocked that my neighbor had a sign for Bush 1 on her front lawn.
Emily, I hope you feel better. I am definitely better, but not 100%. The only upside is I lost the last bit of weight I have wanted to lose, from the winter.

[Pax]

Sadly my family does this as well - thankfully I, nor my church, agrees with them. I'm one of those staffing our church booth at Pride this Saturday, and historically, the Episcopal section of the Pride Parade in Indy is quite large - and has been for years. Granted, it was just our parish until a few years ago - but that's ok. Others are joining us now :cool:

Pax, I'm still wrapping my brain around super-conservative librarians - it just doesn't compute.


I can't imagine a librarian being conservative.
When I moved to Miami at age 15, I was told most pointedly that I would be going to hell, because I was not Christian. Geez, this was in Kendall, a very upscale section of Dade County, where there are lots of Jews. It was unnerving and I just couldn't deal with it, so I just kept my brian thinking, I am getting out of here as soon as I can. I did eventually meet like minded people, but the holy rollers and other assorted nuts were there. Arizona was worse, but I was more mature, and I did live in a university city. But I remember feeling shocked that my neighbor had a sign for Bush 1 on her front lawn.
Emily, I hope you feel better. I am definitely better, but not 100%. The only upside is I lost the last bit of weight I have wanted to lose, from the winter.

It blows my mind as well, until I worked here I'd only met a couple of them and they were usually just deeply religious and conservative in that way.

Today, my boss was talking to my co-worker saying "there's no way those Bernie protesters would pull that crap here, if some tries to push you here, and you're carrying, you don't back down". :eek: I just sat at my station and finished up a reference question then went off to find my waiting student.

[wnyrider]

Having a drink as I sit here reading this thread : ) 18053

[rebeccaC]

Having a drink as I sit here reading this thread : ) 18053
....:)

[ny biker]

Quite possibly, Rebecca, they like to tell me who he would have hated instead.

Okay I'm kind of tired right now -- did I read this right? Who Jesus would have hated??

I had this vague idea that I would like to try to scrape up the cash for a condo in Florida so I could spend winters there. Not anymore.

[Pax]

Okay I'm kind of tired right now -- did I read this right? Who Jesus would have hated??

I had this vague idea that I would like to try to scrape up the cash for a condo in Florida so I could spend winters there. Not anymore.

Might be okay if you hang around with other retirees and don't go out much? Here in the town where I live I've seen maybe a dozen Bernie yard signs, zero Hillary signs, and hundreds of Trump signs... so I don't recommend east central FL

[shootingstar]

I miss having a social life. Since moving to FL I haven't met anyone I'd want to socialize with, the activities seem to center on drinking, and while I enjoy my beverages, going out to get sloshed just doesn't appeal. I had hoped once I got back to work that would change, but apparently, I work in the only library in the western hemisphere where the staff are all hard core conservatives. Libraries are normally bastions of liberal, free thinking, social justice type folks, so this is really bizarre.

So far I've been invited to a Trump rally, the local gun range, and church. *sigh* Well true, Pax (since I am a librarian by formal training and career-wise, until I switched out nearly a decade ago), libraries should hopefully have staff that are more forward thinking folks in town. What makes people afraid....? That's how I see it..

[Pax]

Well true, Pax (since I am a librarian by formal training and career-wise, until I switched out nearly a decade ago), libraries should hopefully have staff that are more forward thinking folks in town. What makes people afraid....? That's how I see it..

I think they can "get away with it" here because it's a graduate school medical library. The students need little assistance beyond locating things like proper peer reviewed articles, and choosing anatomical models for the correct section they're in.

[shootingstar]

I think they can "get away with it" here because it's a graduate school medical library. The students need little assistance beyond locating things like proper peer reviewed articles, and choosing anatomical models for the correct section they're in.

Ah, those librarians are never faced with the reality of community "standards/values" and censorship, never have to deal with reality diverse information literacy, information gaps with those who don't speak English, never deal with homeless locals who visit the library for a warm place to stay, never deal with people who don't understand basics of govn't structure and how to find information on the 'Net, or even which organization /authority to contact by phone, never deal with helpless poor clients who can't afford a lawyer to deal with divorce, child custody (that's why law librarians might get walk-ins from public), etc.

Information is power and the right information serves to equalize and solve problems.

One doesn't have to work in alternate organizations so I am befuddled why some of the employees are so rigid. They don't want change...

[Pax]

Yes, and the head of the library had only worked in this and a private engineering school library, so he's very accustomed to being in a strongly male environment where his views may have had more traction. He has succeeded in hiring a very conservative staff, none of whom have academic library experience, which why (I'm assuming) he hired me. I actually know how to do the job, and tend to keep my interactions professional.

[OakLeaf]

Honestly, in that town, what passes for "liberal" bugs me a lot more than people who are unabashedly reactionary. You get people who you think are allies, and then something comes out of their mouth that makes you wonder whether you even want to associate with them.

Hang in there, Pax. You still might try hanging out with the old white men at Hottie's Coffee. :D

[Pax]

Honestly, in that town, what passes for "liberal" bugs me a lot more than people who are unabashedly reactionary. You get people who you think are allies, and then something comes out of their mouth that makes you wonder whether you even want to associate with them.

Hang in there, Pax. You still might try hanging out with the old white men at Hottie's Coffee. :D

It is a strange thing to find a liberal here, then hear what comes out of their mouths; rebel flags - no problem because it's heritage, Trump v Clinton - well, Hillary is the devil so they may just not vote, young man in trouble for destroying a pride flag - well, boys will be boys, he didn't really mean anything.

My upstairs neighbor is a regular at Hottie, his wife wants him to stop going so much because his blood pressure gets sky high from arguing politics. :D

[smilingcat]

It is a strange thing to find a liberal here, then hear what comes out of their mouths; rebel flags - no problem because it's heritage, Trump v Clinton - well, Hillary is the devil so they may just not vote, young man in trouble for destroying a pride flag - well, boys will be boys, he didn't really mean anything.

My upstairs neighbor is a regular at Hottie, his wife wants him to stop going so much because his blood pressure gets sky high from arguing politics. :D

I must be a flaming commie. I been touched by the Bern.

Dear weather,

what's up with high 50's and low 60's for the daytime high? Was it a fading memory or did we really have 100F about a week ago? I'm worried for my basil and other heat loving plants. Will they survive overnight when the temp drops into the low 40's. My tomatoes, peppers, zukes have stopped growing because its too cold. all the basil variety may die from the cold spell you are inflicting on us.

And last week, I've lost most of my cool weather crop such as bok choi, tat soi, to bolting and you've managed to wreck most of my lettuce, bitter and tough from the heat.

All of this with measures taken to protect the plants.

Tomorrow is going to be a down pour. Please don't make it sleet. Yes, it was sleet and hail the other day. Thank you so much weather, we've pulled out of one of the farmers market for the season. Now we are down to just two markets for the season.

YES! WELCOME TO THE VAGARIES OF FARMING!!

[ny biker]

It's been crazy on our coast, too. One day I'm sick from trying to ride in the hot sun without being acclimated, then it's cold and windy, then back to feeling sick in the hot sun again. I don't know how badly the farms here are being affected. But I'm pretty sure they had to buy lots of non-local strawberries for the strawberry festival that I attended last month when the weather was more like March than May.

[smilingcat]

Dear chipmunk,

I'm sorry I caused your death earlier today. It's bothering me a great deal. Sure, one of your friends have gone through my germination table and dug up many a seed and had a feast. Seeds meant to be grown into plants then bear fruit (vegetables such as squash, zucchini, cucumbers and such). and other times, one of your friends went through and dug up many of the seedlings still in the 128 plug trays (128 plants in a tray). Or when your friend went through and feasted on sunflower seeds being germinated for microgreens. You and your friend have cost me much. But still, these are not a good reason for you to have lost your life.

I do more than my share of butchering chicken. There is no such thing as humane way to kill an animal. It's all euphemism. Because of it, I'm sensitive to unnecessary death. And now, I've caused your death. you were healthy, vibrant and full of life one minute then next you were no more.

I wish it didn't happen.

Rest in peace dear chipmunk

[Pax]

Aw, smilingcat, that is such a sweet thing to say.

[Sky King]

At the risk of sounding a bit smug but it was quite ironic. Attended a talk of one our customers last night. He rode and completed the Ride the Divide Bike Race and had a slide show to share his experience. Was at a local library about 4 miles from our house. We were surprised to roll up on our bikes and see the entire bike rack completely empty. The room was full but we seemed to be the only ones who arrived via bike. It was 100 degrees but we accounted for that in our trip and didn't "race to get there" Talk was interesting but if I ever ride the divide it won't be a race pace :) Took a meandering way home and rode along the river on the MUP - easily 15 degrees cooler than city streets.

[ny biker]

Around here traffic would also be an issue -- it can be hard to get to things after work on weekdays. It used to be that I would walk from my home to condo association meetings, but since my job moved further away I either drive there directly from work or miss the meeting altogether because of rush hour traffic. But I don't know if that's as much of a factor in Boise.

[Crankin]

At certain after work times of day, traffic could be an issue, too, even here in the suburbs. It is for my measly 2.5 mile commute. I have a go-around, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. If I had to go to a presentation at a local business, I would probably think about riding, but most likely I would drive. I really don't feel comfortable riding in regular clothes, although I am better; I have cycling clothes that don't look lycra-ish, so that helps, but generally, I think about this when I go to meetings or other events. My bet is racer types wouldn't think of riding for transportation. I ride for both fitness and transportation at times, but for a lot of people, this is not the case.

[shootingstar]

At certain after work times of day, traffic could be an issue, too, even here in the suburbs. It is for my measly 2.5 mile commute. I have a go-around, but sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. If I had to go to a presentation at a local business, I would probably think about riding, but most likely I would drive. I really don't feel comfortable riding in regular clothes, although I am better; I have cycling clothes that don't look lycra-ish, so that helps, but generally, I think about this when I go to meetings or other events. My bet is racer types wouldn't think of riding for transportation. I ride for both fitness and transportation at times, but for a lot of people, this is not the case.

I work for govn't and we are responsible for public cycling infrastructure, transit in our city..and also roads for building, maintenance. So part of employer's action plan has been to provide some better bike parking facilities for employees in secured areas at same workplace and at bigger, very select buildings, provide a small group of pool corporate bikes. Not exactly a bikeshare but strictly internal for signup and use. So cycling, transit or corporate vehicle is encouraged. Latter is a problem for very small fleet of cars. I have cycled to some internal meetings located less than 6-8 km. away from where I work with approx. 50% of route on pathways, not on road. The meetings involve others who are technical folks (actually GIS, drafting and surveying technical staff) so it's better I don't look overly girly/corporate 2-piece skirt-suited. There are some women in these groups and they are professional casual in attire. I show up at these meetings after biking, wearing black blazer and black jeans (for cycling).

Car, traffic and pedestrian traffic for past 12 months has been noticeably lighter...because there have been over 20,000 worker layoffs (just in our city alone) because of the dropping oil and gas economy in Alberta. Alberta is the lead Canadian province in this industry and our city is where most of such companies' head offices are located.
So yes, cycling is a lot easier along with availability of installed separated bike lanes.

From what one observes at least, in the building where I work (over 2,000 employees), I actually think signals that you are paying to your health by taking noon hr. classes, going for jog, walk or biking to work is viewed as a plus for an employee. Not a negative. While, yes women are still judged more harshly if they look too sloppy at work, overall if she is visibly engaging in any form of exercise outside of office time, it's seen as very good. We do have employee profiles several times per month on highlights of certain work one does, hobbies and....any favourite exercise activities. Yes, employees who do cycle to work have been profiled on our intranet --including myself. This intranet reaches over 10,000 employees.

[smilingcat]

Dear Farmer's market shopper,

Just because I was making zucchini pancake to sample, a nice large one about 6" diameter to be cut into one inch square, doesn't mean that you can have the whole pancake with Mango salsa. No nada... I'm not running a food cart, restaurant. NOOOO... you can see what can be done with zucchini besides bread and to taste something really different.

Getting PO with me will not get you the whole 6 inch zucchini pancake.

Yes go away all huffy and puffy.

How selfish and rude. And she was an older woman. Don't think she was in any financial hardship or going hungry. Just greedy!!

Dear clueless vendor next to me,

I'm not your honey!! It's bit outdated to say the least and it is offensive to me. I also don't need to know that guys leak or piddle on the toilette seat.

Just my rant for the day.:mad:

[Crankin]

I used to patronize a certain nail salon a few times a year; in the last year it was sold and they are steadily losing business. The new owner called me honey one too many times in the late winter/early spring, and I told him I was not his honey. He got all huffy and said "It's hard to remember everyone's name." I went in there last week, and lo and behold, he called me by my name... I also was the only person in there. Nothing else is different, except this guy, so I wonder if others feel the same way.

[Aromig]

Dear clueless vendor next to me,

I'm not your honey!! It's bit outdated to say the least and it is offensive to me.

As a new lawyer about fifteen years ago, my very first deposition was of an older real estate agent who insisted on calling me "honey." In fact, he did it 216 times during a three hour deposition. You can bet that all of the quotes I ended up using in pleadings incorporated him calling me "honey." Their main theme was how professionally they'd been during this transaction, and that they conducted their business the same as always, so not sure if the "honey" references helped us win at all -- but it sure made me feel better.

[Blueberry]

As a new lawyer about fifteen years ago, my very first deposition was of an older real estate agent who insisted on calling me "honey." In fact, he did it 216 times during a three hour deposition. You can bet that all of the quotes I ended up using in pleadings incorporated him calling me "honey." Their main theme was how professionally they'd been during this transaction, and that they conducted their business the same as always, so not sure if the "honey" references helped us win at all -- but it sure made me feel better.

My favorite: "I don't know what it is with your women lawyers. Men just hunt to eat. Women hunt to kill." (Right after I and a male attorney demolished his client's case in court - a case that never should have been brought in the first place.)

[emily_in_nc]

Dear Universe,

Thank you for facilitating my life as a full-time RVer. Who knew that we might possibly be able to get reservations at Yellowstone in August booking just 11 days ahead? I figured it would be 2017 for sure, but we are in! And a week with my DH's Senior Pass is gonna cost us all of $92 at the campground. Crazy wonderful. I am so very excited! We had planned on heading back to South Dakota's Black Hills, which we love, but we've been there before, and I have never been to Yellowstone (DH went there with his folks when he was a kid). I love my lifestyle and feel so very lucky!

[Pax]

Yay, Emily!! Sounds wonderful!!

[Sky King]

Cool, I grew up in Yellowstone and then worked seasonal all through college. I keep telling my husband I am going to work the tailend of the season when I am "retired" He isn't to excited so he'll just have to stay home, HA.
Which campground? The Re-dedication of the Teddy Roosevelt Arch at the North Entrance is Aug. 25. President Obama is speaking.

Dear Universe,

Thank you for facilitating my life as a full-time RVer. Who knew that we might possibly be able to get reservations at Yellowstone in August booking just 11 days ahead? I figured it would be 2017 for sure, but we are in! And a week with my DH's Senior Pass is gonna cost us all of $92 at the campground. Crazy wonderful. I am so very excited! We had planned on heading back to South Dakota's Black Hills, which we love, but we've been there before, and I have never been to Yellowstone (DH went there with his folks when he was a kid). I love my lifestyle and feel so very lucky!

[emily_in_nc]

Cool, I grew up in Yellowstone and then worked seasonal all through college. I keep telling my husband I am going to work the tailend of the season when I am "retired" He isn't to excited so he'll just have to stay home, HA.
Which campground? The Re-dedication of the Teddy Roosevelt Arch at the North Entrance is Aug. 25. President Obama is speaking.

Oh, how cool. We will be in Bridge Bay campground in our 32' motorhome. Not my first choice of campground, but the only one where we could get a site to fit us -- and a reservation. Although we go many places without reservations, I don't want to chance it at Yellowstone! I read that many of the no-reservation campgrounds fill up by 7 to 8 am, and we'd never get there that early. :eek:. We're hoping to do some cycling and hiking, and we'll take a bus tour around the park one day to make sure we get to see more of it than we could cover from the campground on foot or bicycle. It would hardly be a visit to Yellowstone without seeing Old Faithful!

After a week in Yellowstone, we're planning to head down to Grand Teton NP, where it sounds like the cycling is even better. Super excited!

[smilingcat]

Love Grand Teton. So beautiful. Yellowstone is pretty too. And since you are there mind as well go to Glacier NP. Visit some of the glaciers before they are all gone. Rent a boat there while there and watch trout swimming in the lake. Something my family did about 45 years ago.

There used to be lot of U-pick orchards nearby or on the way and the fruit were all very juicy and delicious. Can't beat tree ripened fruit (except pear. Pear gets mealy if left to ripen on tree).

Wow!! Enjoy your stay in Yellowstone. Been there number of times but not yet in winter time.

[emily_in_nc]

We will not make it to Glacier this time, smilingcat. It's a big destination, and we would want to be there for at least a week. We will be in eastern Montana for a few stops on the way to Yellowstone but just can't get all the way to Glacier and still make it to the other places in time, and do them all justice. We do want to go to Glacier, though - maybe next summer. We had hoped to get there this year, but timeline just wouldn't permit as we didn't want to wait any later to go to Yellowstone. It is getting cold there! We will see 30s at night when we are there, a week from today...brrrrr chilly! Don't want to get there any later as we could not handle lower temps in our motorhome. And we don't carry a lot of winter clothes along, just the basics.

[Sky King]

Hope you have a great time. Cycling wise, You can easily ride from the campground to the Lake Hotel (a must see!) You can also cycle over to Fishing Bridge and go to the museum and walk on the "beach" I have always avoided biking in Yellowstone in the summer - to much traffic and very little shoulder. The bike path in Grand Teton is great. We spread our parents ashes in Yellowstone Lake in Sept. of 2013 and had our memorial at the group camping area of Bridge Bay, it was cold and rainy so hopefully you'll have sunshine.

Oh, how cool. We will be in Bridge Bay campground in our 32' motorhome. Not my first choice of campground, but the only one where we could get a site to fit us -- and a reservation. Although we go many places without reservations, I don't want to chance it at Yellowstone! I read that many of the no-reservation campgrounds fill up by 7 to 8 am, and we'd never get there that early. :eek:. We're hoping to do some cycling and hiking, and we'll take a bus tour around the park one day to make sure we get to see more of it than we could cover from the campground on foot or bicycle. It would hardly be a visit to Yellowstone without seeing Old Faithful!

After a week in Yellowstone, we're planning to head down to Grand Teton NP, where it sounds like the cycling is even better. Super excited!

[emily_in_nc]

Hope you have a great time. Cycling wise, You can easily ride from the campground to the Lake Hotel (a must see!) You can also cycle over to Fishing Bridge and go to the museum and walk on the "beach" I have always avoided biking in Yellowstone in the summer - to much traffic and very little shoulder. The bike path in Grand Teton is great. We spread our parents ashes in Yellowstone Lake in Sept. of 2013 and had our memorial at the group camping area of Bridge Bay, it was cold and rainy so hopefully you'll have sunshine.

I hope so too! Thanks for your input/ideas. I am hoping the traffic will be a little lower this late in the summer in Yellowstone, but who knows. We think the kiddos will be heading back to school very soon, and that may keep traffic down (and explain how we could get relatively last-minute reservations too!)

[Eden]

... Imagine my surprise when I looked at your event page to see if I'd missed your event this year and found one of my own photographs from a past year advertising it... Well, no actually, I wasn't particularly surprised at that - too many people don't know how copyright works. I was, under the circumstances pretty nice. I wrote you and explained that I am typically quite generous about allowing non-profits like yourself to use my images free of charge, but it is necessary to contact me and ask first and that I request that I be credited as the photographer. I explained that I was not upset, but that I wanted you to be aware of the rules and that had the image been licensed to someone else, that it could have been a much bigger problem.

Your reply did surprise me.. astonished me in fact... You sweetly informed me that you did have permission to use the photograph in question and that I was indeed correct that you had neglected to give credit where credit was due and that you'd corrected the oversight. You even very nicely sent me a link to my photograph on your Facebook page, now with someone else's name on it. Needless to say I was rather shocked and angered..

This isn't a case in which another photographer may have been there and taken a very similar photograph. It's an image of small candle boats on a pond. I've overlaid the two images (from your page and my Flickr account) sand sent you the results. Not even had this other person been hanging over my shoulder and hit the shutter at the exact same moment, could there be two images that match in every aspect - down to the size in 100th's of an inch, the exact framing and position of everything in the photograph and even the lens flare on the candle flames...

I am now practicing a great deal of patience as I have not heard back from you that you are even looking into this. I am really, really hoping that this is simply a mistake or a miscommunication on your part and I am giving you the benefit of the doubt that it is now the weekend and maybe, just maybe you haven't seen your email from yesterday evening yet, but if Monday comes around and I haven't heard boo from you, you can look forward to my turning a DMCA takedown notice and a complaint in to Facebook and perhaps even sending you an invoice for the use of the image.

disgruntled photographer...

[rebeccaC]

Yeah that’s one of the problems of sharing our images on the net. I figure if you can see an image in a browser there is probably a way to copy it even if a site doesn’t allow it. If they don’t want to give you at least a credit make sure the DMCA takedown order is filled out properly with their whois info etc.

You also might want to change your Flickr ‘privacy & permission’ setting on who can download your images to ‘only you’ or ‘friends/family’ and the ‘largest shared image size’ to 1024. My Facebook can only be viewed by a few friends so I’m not worried about the few images I post there. Those two places, here and two other forums are the only places i post images. I also keep all my original raw files with metadata which can help in a dispute.

[Eden]

I don't post stuff to the web big enough for print, so I'm at least only vulnerable to swiping for other web uses and I do only post in a few places... I know it's one of the risks of putting stuff up, but it's one that I've been thus far willing to take. I totally know, if you can see it, you can take it and so few people really understand copyright so catching a few people swiping photos here and there is inevitable - and it's not like it's some big commercial usage - those people know better (well... usually at least - Getty images did get caught licensing stuff that's in the national archives and designated as Public Domain - and trying to charge the photographer for using it her very own web site...). It's not so much they used the image that bothers me. I'd have let them do it no problem if they'd have asked. The thing that got me going was the snotty denial that the photograph is mine... and I can certainly prove that. I'm a RAW shooter. I keep all of my original images and I keep the EXIF on my flickr files too. I really am hoping it was a stupid mistake.. and that they give me a really nice apology.

[Sky King]

Dear Gremlin, It would be awesome if you'd reveal where my new Terry bike tights are! My memory of wearing them last springs recalls them as being quite wonderful. I have torn the house apart trying to locate them, so frustrating! They were not inexpensive and dread having to purchase another pair. crude.

[rebeccaC]

Dear Gremlin, It would be awesome if you'd reveal where my new Terry bike tights are! My memory of wearing them last springs recalls them as being quite wonderful. I have torn the house apart trying to locate them, so frustrating! They were not inexpensive and dread having to purchase another pair. crude.

alex just said this morning my sdhc camera card is where i last put it :)...if the gremlin does reveal where the tights are, send it to me :)

[Dogmama]

Dear Gremlin, It would be awesome if you'd reveal where my new Terry bike tights are! My memory of wearing them last springs recalls them as being quite wonderful. I have torn the house apart trying to locate them, so frustrating! They were not inexpensive and dread having to purchase another pair. crude.

Sounds like a case for Santa.

[ny biker]

alex just said this morning my sdhc camera card is where i last put it :)...if the gremlin does reveal where the tights are, send it to me :)

Hmm. I have a mylar blanket that I keep in my bike bag during cooler months, for emergencies. I looked for it recently, couldn't find it anywhere, not in any of the places where I keep bike gear. Bought another one yesterday. OF COURSE this means that I found the first one this morning. Fortunately they're inexpensive and having two is actually a good thing -- now there's one for the car and one for the bike!

[smilingcat]

Dear AP editor,

You are getting very sloppy with headline. "Trump expands anti-abortion ban to all US global health aid" what is meant by anti-abortion ban?? Des it mean that Trump is banning anti-abortion activities, activists or what?? Or did you mean to say that Trump is banning abortion practices and pro-abortion rights activities and activists.

The "anti-abortion ban" nearly smacks the use of double negative. In fact, when you read the article, the usage is double negative. So confusing. aarrrghhh!!

Yes, his executive order stops all funding for abortion and women's right to choice for all international organization (WHO will be on the list). On slightly different note, he is allowing Keystone XL and Dakota Access pipeline to move forward. BTW, Trump is a big shareholder of Keystone XL.

[smilingcat]

And yes Trumpster has defunded International Planned Parenthood! not sure how they are related to US domestic Planned Parenthood; but, his executive order is for the world and that would include USA.

[shootingstar]

And yes Trumpster has defunded Planned Parenthood!

What is the matter with the guy? :eek: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/what-donald-trump-presidency-could-mean-for-planned-parenthood-womens-health/ Vey sick. Please let's just talk a little more here with more people.

[Blueberry]

Dear Medical School:

You have really, royally screwed an entire class of students. We are the second class in the new curriculum. When you realized that the first class tanked the major licensing exam whose score determines many of your career options (or can certainly close some doors), you started helping the third class. What did you do for us? You cancelled the review course and told us to watch it online (where the professors say "too bad for the people who didn't come that they can't hear" because it was intended to be re-offered). You started coaching the students a class below us. Us - you hung out to dry. But made sure to tell us to do well because "it's important for the reputation of the school."

I've been studying for 6 weeks straight. I'm burned out and exhausted, and I'm not doing well on the practice exams. Neither are my classmates. Why am I not doing well? Because you decided to experiment with a new curriculum and didn't teach us about 1/2 of the content. When it didn't work, you threw us to the wolves. I've asked for help - and been told that there is none. The only person who can "help" is a PhD in education and does not understand any of the content. Nor can she recommend any resources. She's given me the same (unhelpful) advice twice now. I'm completely on my own. Oh yes - and you told me I have test anxiety and need help for that. Are you flipping kidding me? Of course I have text anxiety - I'd be crazy not to. It's not the reason I'm doing poorly though - you are. I've taken big tests before. It was never a problem until I had to take one that determines my career options with a half-empty toolbox.

Sincerely,

A Stressed Out Med Student

PS - I probably *do* have test anxiety at this point (given the burn out and the lack of progression and the lack of direction) - but I'm not about to admit it to you. I think it might be time to take up meditation. I'm gonna need it to get through 2 more years of your incompetence.

[emily_in_nc]

Wow, Blueberry, I am surprised and saddened to hear this. Very surprising a good, established med school would do this to you.

That sucks! :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Pax]

Wow, Blueberry, I am surprised and saddened to hear this. Very surprising a good, established med school would do this to you.

That sucks! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Agreed, and to eschew responsibility so thoroughly, that truly sucks!

[emily_in_nc]

That would bother me too, Sheila! Seems to me that an awful lot of people are relying on gofundme (and similar) these days. In the "old days", families would help out financially if one in the extended family was having a tough time, but in this age of social networking, it seems that some are taking advantage of their social networks for things they should be able to handle on their own or within their families.

Perhaps it sounds cold and heartless, but in many of these cases, I think it's going a bit overboard to expect your friends to pitch in -- especially for something optional like a new bicycle. Hey...we want kayaks, perhaps I should set up a gofundme page! :D :D

[Crankin]

We stopped speaking to my BIL and family, when he set up a Go Fund Me page supposedly for his daughter who had leukemia. He had insurance and a good job. They wanted a new house... his daughter is fine after a bone marrow transplant (so we hear), but she got a Make a Wish Trip to "go shopping."
I think that's wrong. Her parents could take her shopping.

[ny biker]

This reminds me of a situation years ago with some friends (who are now ex-friends). They had two young children at the time. They believed that vacations were supposed to be for adults only, not children. So they planned elaborate trips to Europe just for the two of them. And expected their family and friends to take care of the kids while they were away. So grandfather took the kids for a couple of days, one friend took them for a weekend, another friend took them for a few days. I was appalled. When we were growing up, sometimes my parents would go away for a weekend on their own, but real vacations included all of us. And we never had much money so the trips were to visit relatives, or to go camping someplace close to a historic site. Anyway. What really got me about these (ex-)friends was when the wife looked me in the eye and asked me, "what days will you be taking our children while we're on vacation?" Not "can you please help out" but "when will you take them." So I said "none." I'm sure the look on my face said much more than that.

(This actually was not the reason they became ex-friends. But that's a story for another day.)

[emily_in_nc]

We stopped speaking to my BIL and family, when he set up a Go Fund Me page supposedly for his daughter who had leukemia. He had insurance and a good job. They wanted a new house... his daughter is fine after a bone marrow transplant (so we hear), but she got a Make a Wish Trip to "go shopping."
I think that's wrong. Her parents could take her shopping.

Wow. I knew people were taking advantage of it, but that's ridiculous. Don't blame you for cutting them out of your lives. Some people have zero ethical compass and feel no shame!

[Blueberry]

What really got me about these (ex-)friends was when the wife looked me in the eye and asked me, "what days will you be taking our children while we're on vacation?" Not "can you please help out" but "when will you take them." So I said "none." I'm sure the look on my face said much more than that.

On my. That's some entitlement. Don't blame you one bit. We're expecting we'll get a similar request from the BIL one day. He has one, they want more - and they are travel obsessed (while we're been saving money for retirement, etc.). Hopefully her mom will take them (they bought a gigantic house with an extra wing for her) - but nothing would surprise me.

I've also become frustrated by the many, many go fund me pages out there. It seems like half of our local news stories have funding pages attached to them. I realize there's a lot of hurt and need in the world, but at some point, it gets excessive.

Thanks also for the sympathies on the medical school situation. There's not really much we can do - graduate, get the MD, and move on. Doubt I will have forgotten when they ask for donations, though (actually, they already are). Trying to keep the debt down so that I don't have to make a decision based on earning potential - as some of my classmates who will be 200-300k in debt (for a state school) will have to.

[Crankin]

NY, that story is terrible. If you want to travel without your kids, then hire a babysitter, like I did, or ASK the grandparents. I was lucky that I had several people who I hired, some relatives, some co-workers, as well as the family of our teenaged babysitter.

[azfiddle]

Dear 7th grade student who shared the test answers: I don't know who you are but you got at least three other kids in trouble with me and the office and now everyone in all four classes will have their test score thrown out and have to take a new and harder version of the very easy quiz I gave you.

And thank you for the opportunity to stay an hour late after school on a Friday afternoon to rewrite the test for Monday.

Sincerely, your extremely annoyed teacher.

[smilingcat]

dear weather,

Last week, it was pouring rain and the daytime high didn't even hit 60F. And this coming Sunday, its predicted to hit 100F. It just seem that you do not want me farming.

Back in Mar/Apr time frame, we had several days of 90+F heat. The temperature was enough to bolt my radishes. :( Then it got super cold and most of the kale thought it was winter again... This isn't so bad but when it warmed up again, most all of my kale thought it gone through a winter, a process called vernalization, and it prompted the kale to bolt. Kale is biennial so it flowers the second season. But the heat wave then the cold then the warm weather made it think it had gone through a winter.

grrr. work from sun up around 5:30AM till about 1:00PM. siesta from 1 to about 6:00PM then work from 6:00PM till sundown around 9:30PM. My cats are not happy that they are getting their evening din din around 10:30PM.

[Crankin]

The neeve of people. I saw this on FB, your reply was perfect.

[Crankin]

Sorry for the typo. I was at work, on my phone.

[azfiddle]

I did give out some zeros and did a lot of lecturing. I know this year (and my district is a "year round school" so we're actually already in session :eek: - I will not do trade and grade on multiple choice tests. It's pretty sad!

[azfiddle]

And Muireann, the cheating was actually so widespread- way more than 3 people had the answers. I only caught 3 for sure.

[Trek420]

Dear so and so,

I'm planning to retire in about 164 days but who's counting? It's been a good ride, I am grateful for this surprisingly good job all told. Awesome bennies. And I'm not one to complain. But as I prepare to wind down and perhaps go to an encore career I'd like to speak frankly to my audience, you, the customers. Yes, I've worked all manner of customer service for a really beeeeg telco. And you need to know that ...

When you call or chat in or Tweet or however I'm going to need some kinda verification. Your first name is not enough. Have your number, the passcode if there is one and there almost always is and if you don't have that, an immediate plan to get it. Yelling at me, for 15-20 minutes "This is my account, I pay the bill, you sure want your money every month and I pay you hundreds every month .... don't you see that????? I demand to speak to your manager. I know the president of the company!!! I'll have you fired!!" is not enough.

I'm protecting your account. How would you feel if someone called, gave your name and number, we didn't verify anything and they ordered a few iPhone 7's and iPads, had them shipped to another address and you got the bill as is happening with Sprint? Not too good.

You have passcode and passwords. There are apps to save those or even a little book. Use those. Stop yelling at me.

Trek I can help you with that 420

[Crankin]

I can't say anything, except people are azzholes.

[rebeccaC]

Trek I can help you with that 420
:)

and enjoy your retirement adventures wherever they lead!!!!!

[emily_in_nc]

Trek,

I couldn't agree more! I never, ever mind giving all that info when I call (most recently to DISH, to change our local stations address since we moved from NC to FL), because I know why they need it. I would much, much rather they ask than not. Gotta be so careful these days with all the online fraud.

Congratulations on your impending retirement!

[smilingcat]

Dear nephew,

I am duly impressed and very proud of you to have bought your first house. And you are not even 30 yet.

[smilingcat]

Trek420,

I'm one of the azzholes of very different kind. I know too much of how somethings work and when I tell you that the company supplied FiOS modem is piece of garbage, I can tell you why and I just need to talk to a tech to say that the company supplied equipment fried during an electrical storm. Yes it did. Don't give me a runaround, send a tech out to replace the wall mounted unit and replace the unit by my desk. And don't tell me that my router blew out your equipment. I couldn't even ping the company equipment. Magic packet went nowhere. And dear field tech, don't BS me.

Yes I think you deserve a much needed retirement and not have to deal with unreasonable and irate customers. I could never do it. And counting days to your retirement. Congratulation!!

[Trek420]

Trek420,

I'm one of the azzholes of very different kind. I know too much of how somethings work and when I tell you that the company supplied FiOS modem is piece of garbage, I can tell you why .....

Yes I think you deserve a much needed retirement and not have to deal with unreasonable and irate customers. I could never do it. And counting days to your retirement. Congratulation!!

165 days!

Smilingcat, I love talking to customers like you! Sometimes I learn stuff. I'm not dealing with uverse anymore other than the mobile end. Yes, sometimes the modem is for instance the reason wifi calling won't work inside the home. It can be a challenge to finagle a new modem for my customer from the land line side but if the modem is effecting service, it's what we do.

Dear customer,

My job is dizzyingly complex, a lot more than just a answering the phone. As I used to mutter under my breath and/or put the phone on mute when I was on the land line side, earning almost twice as much as I do today and probably more than most of my callers earn (yes, took a pay cut to transfer) "If you were capable of doing my job you'd be doing it"

Still, this is a tough job and a good one. And it always makes my job so much easier and helps me to solve your problem faster when you jump up and down, yell, scream, hurl insults and epithets at me. This does not happen often but ... be nice. We'll get through this together faster.

Regards,

Trek counting the days 420

PS; was talking to a steward yesterday who said a recently retired coworker had a novel way of counting down. He stacked paper plates at his desk, each had a number on it. Each lunch he took the top plate. From what I heard when he got down to about 50 he took vacation and scedadled.

[Pax]

PS; was talking to a steward yesterday who said a recently retired coworker had a novel way of counting down. He stacked paper plates at his desk, each had a number on it. Each lunch he took the top plate. From what I heard when he got down to about 50 he took vacation and scedadled.

That is awesome! :D

[ny biker]

I hope these last days at work go well, Trek.

Lately I end up starting the conversation with a customer service rep by apologizing for sounding angry -- because of how hard it is to get past the stupid machine that answers the phone. Whoever designs the automated systems must really hate people. I'm not thrilled when the rep is required to try to sell me something instead of being allowed to just help with my problem, either. Some companies handle it well, but others don't really seem to want to help you, and makes it hard for the people on both sides of the conversation.

Any thoughts on what the encore career might be?

[shootingstar]

Enjoy your retirement soon, Trek.

Time passes along....starting last 2 wks., I became a.....great-aunt. Oldest nephew @31 and wife had their first baby (son).

[Crankin]

Congrats, Sjooting Star.

[ny biker]

Enjoy your retirement soon, Trek.

Time passes along....starting last 2 wks., I became a.....great-aunt. Oldest nephew @31 and wife had their first baby (son).

Congrats!!

[ny biker]

Dear Microsoft, I really don't have time to deal with your software updates breaking my laptop. You should not be pushing out updates that are not compatible with it. And I will be really mad if I have to pay to get it fixed.

Dear psycho pickup truck driver on I-270 who repeatedly changed lanes in order to cut in front of me and slam on your brakes, it was awfully easy to get you out of my life; all I had to do was pretend to take the next exit. I am worried about your family who can't get away from you so easily.

[Trek420]

130 days? Need to check the app,

Dear Florida and Texas mobile users,

You're wondering why your service is not working. A quick check outside the window should answer your question. You've just had an epic, historic storm.

Did I just hear you say that your neighbors house was destroyed and yours is fine? Quit worrying about your phone and go help them. You can post about it on Instagram later. and get likes. No, I can't actually say that to you.

We, as well as other companies I'm sure had technicians lining up to caravan down to restore you from before the storm hit. Those techs know they won't see their families till the workis done. That's what we do.

But in some areas they can't get in until it's safe to do so. So hang tight, turn wifi calling on

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT203032

and invite your neighbor over for coffee.

Signed

Trek short timer 420

[smilingcat]

So frustrating dealing with a culture so ingrained with "I want it NOW!". They just don't understand or don't care that someone has to work in torrential rain, extreme heat, or extreme cold, blizzard condition. They want it now. And the customer rep has to be polite with I want it now crowd.

Too bad someone doesn't have a telephone app like the Jolly Roger telephone company's phone app. If you don't know what that is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXVJ4JQ3SUw and there are other youtube video by jolly Roger tel. company.

You have my sympathy Trek. yeah count out the days...

[ny biker]

I think some people understand the situation on one level, but are frustrated after days with no utilities and limited or no ability to communicate with others. I know after Sandy I had family members who just got tired of being cold and trying to make the best of not being able to cook anything or see without a flashlight after dark. I also remember people reporting power outages to the utility company's facebook page for lack of any other way to contact them.

[rebeccaC]

and invite your neighbor over for coffee.

this :)

and i agree NY...There are a lot of emotional and cognitive traumatic stress reactions after disasters like Harvey and Irma that can just be expected. Not saying it’s easy for others to deal with those reactions, but there is an understanding that can help.

People can also show a number of positive responses in the aftermath though…..resilience and coping, helping save or comfort others, relief and elation at just surviving the disaster and feelings of learning about one's strength and growing from the experience.

That the continuing survivor problems that come from these disasters will be forgotten by many in just a few weeks is what bothers me.

[emily_in_nc]

Just to add a positive story: DH and I started back from our hurricane hole in Mississippi, where we spent 6 nights before heading back to Winter Garden, FL. This is a two-day drive, so we spent the night at a small campground outside of Tallahassee. When we pulled in, we were told that there were no utilities as a tree had fallen on their power lines, and without power, no water could be pumped either. We decided to stay and make do for one night since we have a generator in our motorhome; our only real issue was limited drinking water, but we had enough for the one night, just wouldn't get to take showers.

About an hour after we arrived, four Duke Energy trucks pulled in, and an hour later, the campground had power. Several others there had been four days without power, so they started dancing around, yelling, and clapping. They were soooo happy and thankful for the utility workers! We were too, of course, but we had not been without power for days in advance, which can really wear on you.

I hope they Duke guys went home happy that night, knowing that their efforts were making people's lives so much better after such a horrible storm!

[RobertBycle]

Dear Curmudgeon,

Why dont old people like for kids and dogs to play on their grass?

Sincerely,

The Grass is Always Greener on Old Vets Lawn

[Trek420]

Dear Customers,

A quick poll on a customer service forum I'm on says that our major pet peeve is the use of "you people", We find that any conversation starting with that is bound to go south. Corporations are NOT people, I'm people most specifically a people who can and will help you if you let me. But that's not my pet peeve. Mine is spelling.

News flash: I can spell. So if your name is Quigless Wbbbly, say it! I see your name on the account or will when I pull it up. But when you say "My name is Q as in quintessential, U as in undulate, I as in ....." I can see the letters. And if you, like me, have an unusual ethnic name you are used to people mispronouncing it. So give me a break, say it. Otherwise I have to go through the dance of "Do I have this right? Can I call you Quig? Do you prefer Ms Wbbbly?" Believe it or not I can be put on a PIP (personal development plan or the precursor to being fired) for opting out and just using Sir or M'Am. And I'm just trying to keep my nose clean and stay employed for 41 more days till I can start just using up all my vacation before I scram.

[smilingcat]

Dear Customers,

News flash: I can spell. So if your name is Quigless Wbbbly, say it! I see your name on the account or will when I pull it up. But when you say "My name is Q as in quintessential, U as in undulate, I as in ....." I can see the letters. And if you, like me, have an unusual ethnic name you are used to people mispronouncing it. So give me a break, say it. Otherwise I have to go through the dance of "Do I have this right? Can I call you Quig? Do you prefer Ms Wbbbly?" Believe it or not I can be put on a PIP (personal development plan or the precursor to being fired) for opting out and just using Sir or M'Am. And I'm just trying to keep my nose clean and stay employed for 41 more days till I can start just using up all my vacation before I scram.

Wow! your employer is strict! get on PIP for using Sir or Ma'am. I thought that was being polite when you don't know their name. I can see the frustration with when you have their account pulled up and they still insist on spelling out their name.

In all honesty, I wouldn't last a day in your job. I'm determined NOT to help my partner with her tech problems except to get her computer running or getting it connected to the WiFi. I've given up on keeping her computer virus free or how to keep out the virus. that concept is just too foreign. Also NOT to help my 87 yo mother with her cell phone. All I get is cauliflower ears and being chewed out. I just don't know how to explain things! or I am indifferent or don't care about their plight with tech problems. count the days and throw away the numbered paper plate every day!

ahh spelling.. Did you really graduate from high school? And you still say things like "Mom, me and Johnny is going to the store. Want something?" 8 words in the sentence "me and Johnny..." It has three mistakes. pretty amazing. High school grad no less. Another one is "Dog belongs to Johnny and I" only one mistake. Tad better. Language is fluid and dynamic. English language is quite alive so one should expect it to change over time in its grammar and spelling.

[smilingcat]

I was hoping to have some fun at jury selection. Got called for jury duty. For two days, I dutifully went and waited to be called to be o a jury. But no luck.

I was hoping to have the following conversation.

DA: "What is your profession?
me: "I'm a farmer"
DA: "Did you graduate from high school?"
me: "I didn't see any value in high school so I dropped out in my junior year." quite true I think I dropped out in late February or early March after I received my acceptance to Columbia University and Cornell.
DA: "Do you have GED?"
me: "I don't see any value in that either so no" For me it would be more of a minus to have GED. Isn't a graduate degree good enough? Maybe I should have completed my PhD program...
me: "Besides, the summer after I dropped out, I packed two suitcases and moved out to NYC" yes that is true.

I was hoping to have a "fun" conversation about women's rights and abortion issue. Really tweak right to life argument. It is so flawed and very very dangerous.

The context in how it was phrased paint a very different picture. though it is very true that high school had no value or nothing to offer for I was studying P. Chem, quantum mechanic (Schrodinger's equation, particle in a box), calculus and differential equation on my own at that time.

Well I did my civic duty without causing any raucous so that was all very good. Maybe next time.

[Trek420]

In all honesty, I wouldn't last a day in your job. I'm determined NOT to help my partner with her tech problems except to get her computer running or getting it connected to the WiFi. I've given up on keeping her computer virus free or how to keep out the virus. that concept is just too foreign. Also NOT to help my 87 yo mother with her cell phone. All I get is cauliflower ears and being chewed out. I just don't know how to explain things! or I am indifferent or don't care about their plight with tech problems. count the days and throw away the numbered paper plate every day!

Few people do. Seniority and tenure used to be a lot higher. In my view you want your CSR's to be happy, relaxed, comfy and not stressed because we are the voice of your company. I might go into this more at length later but for right now it's about 35 days till I start my using up vacation and 56 days till official retirement.

Till then one frustrating thing is especially at this time of year, it's the holidays, we're all a bit stressed and lonely.

We seem to get more calls now from the 87 year old with a smart phone. If grandma is not tech savvy get her a regular flip phone. They make them! One sad call I took recently, elderly woman in assisted living. The family got her an iPhone 4s, and they really will only respond to her texts. And she can't send texts. I figure out that the problem is her iOS is waaaaay out of date and the device has no memory, it's full. She's reluctant to delete anything from it because that phone, those are the only family photos she's got. I can help her back them up but there's no wifi in her rooom, only the community center which she can't get to. So we're stuck essentially because until she can get to the community center, have someone help her back up to the cloud, delete some stuff, update the iOS she's stuck.

If you're getting granny or gramps a smart phone for Xmas make d@mn sure it comes with a gift certificate for your time to help them set it up, manage and learn it. You don't even have to do that! Go to The free classes at Apple, they'll teach gramps, you just spring for lunch.