Dear So and So [Archive] - Page 29 - Women's Cycling Discussion Forums

Xrayted

08-28-2014, 10:47 AM

Hmm. I've been spending a lot of time with someone who could really be someone extra special in my life for years to come. The kind of person who, no matter what, you at least know they should be a great friend at least. I have a hard time trusting these days though, after the last long "relationship" I was in. That one was personally destructive on so many levels. I didn't see it happening but it crept up on me slowly, an insidious worming into my brain and taking over of my natural senses to walk away and move on. And now... here is this exquisite creature who is my equal, grown up, handles life head on like I do, doesn't have to like everything I do but has a mind of her own and I am encouraged to have my own and stick to it. I don't have to tread delicately over every little or big thing anymore because she can handle it... and I'm realizing that I still have these Easter Eggs in my brain yet from the last one... They sneak their way out every now and again and I stop and take a moment and think... where did that come from? Oh, yeah. There. Wow. What conditioning I've gone through that now has to be recognized, thought about and dealt with so I can overcome it? So much of it is so foreign to my normal nature that I'm just stunned when it sneaks out. It has taken me the better part of a year to let down some of my defenses and relax and breathe and know that I'm so much stronger alone than I ever was with that person. I've dealt with some really big things over the last year. From Mom's cancer coming back and handling everything from 2600 miles away to how I talk to people in my life. Things even from when I was a kid or young adult have come full circle. I've made peace or at least stopped hurting so badly and started truly healing instead of pushing it under and acting like I'm okay. Which, I think, is what many of us do. We don't have time for that **** right now. So... Let's push it under and it will just go away. It doesn't. Just so you know. It really doesn't.

Since I haven't had some extremely needy person to care for nonstop, every minute, I've had time for me. Which is why I moved out to OR for over 7 years ago in the first place. My first instinct was to stay single for a while, get my own head back on straight, start my whole life over and choose my own distinct direction. And then if someone happens to fall into that direction nicely, try a relationship. But, that's not what I did. I had someone so needy in every way imaginable fall into my life and, being someone who is a care giver and can't say no, I went down that path and lost myself further than I've ever been lost. I regret that. I really can say that I totally regret that decision. I help people everyday as part of my career. I help total strangers out of politeness and that it's the right thing to do. Stop, extend a hand to your fellow man, leave them better off than when you first met them if you can. It's how we do things back where I'm from. They would do the same back for you. Because they were brought up that way as well and you can count on it being just out of kindness. I thought everyone was like that. I was naive. Some people really just want everything they can get and then when you can't give anymore, they move on to a new one who can give and give until they too are bled dry in every way. I pity people who feel they have to do that to others. It must be such a horrible existence. They will never find what they are looking for because it doesn't exist.

I've been going to counseling for a while now, and I'm glad I did it. I had a friend send me to her and it was the right fit. That means a lot. I've been taking my own path, adventuring out into the world, making new friends, hanging with the old ones now that I give myself permission to. And moving forward and in a positive direction. Getting back to my roots and growing new ones as well. I've been biking more. Kayaking. Paddle boarding. Taking classes. Napping. Smiling a whole lot more. Flying or driving off out of the blue and seeing what is out there. I've paid off all of my debt and found out that I have disposable income now that I'm single. Lol. Got closer to some special friends in my life and I appreciate everything they've helped me with and didn't say... I told you so. Just hugged me, took my hand and helped guide me to the path and encouraged me to walk it.

So, now I'm in this interesting crossroad in my life. I've never liked being in Portland OR much. No offense PDX'ers but it has never felt like "home" to me. Part of that was the disconnected way I had to live with my ex. Part of it is... I'm no hipster and I never want to be. There. I said it. I'm not a city girl at all. Never will be. But in my profession, I need to be near enough to a city for the job. And there is such a place. I've found it. I'd like to continue on my single path a while longer so I'll get a few room mates for a while and make sure that I'm not rushing the relationship. You see PDX, I prefer to hang on a few acres, take my bikes out on the trails that run all around, play with the dog, chase the cats out of the barn, ride horses, clean the barn, buck hay for the winter feeding, put in fence, pull it back out and put it in correctly, drive the tractor, mow the acreage with my iPod in my ears and tune into my own world while tuning out the rest for a bit, crank up the chainsaw and trim back the firs and pines, watch the sunset from the deck while having a soft hand to hold on one side and a margarita in the other. I don't need to be the first to hear a band. I'm okay with what I have and don't need to collect stuff to prove I'm successful. As a matter of fact, I've given away a ton of stuff I that I don't need. I just want to walk barefoot in the freshly munched grass, handing out a carrot every now and again, have one of the horses lay their head on my shoulder and fall asleep there as I sit on the fence and feel the earth around me during breakfast. I choose this path. With this person. I hope it works out for a long time. But if it's meant to be friendship, I welcome it with open arms. Because she's just that damn cool. And because I'm just fine the way I am. It's nice to finally know it and accept it. :cool:

Pax

09-03-2014, 11:57 AM

Loved reading that, X.

Eden

09-20-2014, 05:53 PM

Sigh….. Why do people have to suck so much…. so I went to the garden store today, bought some plants, some compost and a new door mat. When I got back I parked my wagon near my front porch (and my raised beds) and went in to get a pot and some gardening tools to plant what I purchased. By the time I got back out front someone had stolen my door mat - REALLY PEOPLE- you need to steal a door mat? Yeah it was cool, but come on. Keep your sticky fingers off stuff that doesn't belong to you.

salsabike

09-20-2014, 06:19 PM

Ugh, Eden. That really stinks.

malkin

09-24-2014, 04:22 AM

A doormat?!
What is wrong with people!?

Pax

09-24-2014, 05:27 AM

I've seen the change here on campus too, Eden. Seems the rule is now "if you don't lock your stuff up 100% of the time, it's your fault if it's stolen". Whatever happened to DON'T TAKE STUFF THAT ISN'T YOURS!

Veronica

09-24-2014, 06:29 AM

We're having a lot of work done on our campus right now and frequently my students have to walk by work trucks. They park adjacent to the playground. I always stop and remind them not to touch the trucks as they walk by. "If it's not yours, you don't touch it." One of the workers heard me yesterday and thanked me. They get so upset if someone messes with their stuff, but have little respect for other people's things. Bugs me!

Veronica

Pax

10-19-2014, 04:40 AM

Dear Bourbon,

I show you some love and all you offer in return is a stomach ache, that's it, I'm breaking up with you.

Signed,

Sore tummy in IL

Catrin

10-19-2014, 05:14 AM

Dear Bourbon,

I show you some love and all you offer in return is a stomach ache, that's it, I'm breaking up with you.

Signed,

Sore tummy in IL

Mean old Bourbon, how dare it treat you like that. Kick it to the curb & replace with some good port or rum - but then again, I WOULD suggest that ;-)

Pax

10-19-2014, 05:20 AM

:p

Definitely switching back to the grape.

Sky King

10-19-2014, 04:07 PM

Blueberry

10-19-2014, 04:19 PM

As I can't post this on facebook, I will post here. To me, if you consider me a "friend" and a former neighbor, than perhaps you would support my business by perhaps at least calling or emailing and asking about the bike you just bought, from someone else, even though you know we carry that brand... Such is life I guess. It will be hard to engage with you at the next social function though.

Ah Sky King - my sympathies. This must be frustrating. As someone who tries really hard to support (several) local shops, I hope this post is never written about me. I'm getting ready to order a bike from a local shop. It's the one I trust with most of my mechanical work, plus they had the bike in my size and I could test ride it - but I'm sure it will hurt feelings at another local shop (who could get the bike, but the mechanicals there aren't as solid). I consider them all friends, and I try to order small things from the other shop too - when I can.

Crankin

10-20-2014, 04:16 AM

I know the shop I bought both of my bikes from will be pissed when I buy my next bike, because they only sell "boutique" brands that I am not interested in; hence my next purchase will not be there. We have sent them a lot of business, but they have a terrible reputation for being snobby. Mechanics are good, and we occasionally use them, but DH does most of the wrenching here.
I am seriously thinking of buying a Madone, after riding one on my tour. The other local shop, even closer, sells them. We have a long standing acquaintance with them, as DS worked there in HS. The owners are getting older and are slightly nuts (I think the woman has some kind of memory issue, based on recent conversations with her), but our friend bought a Project One bike there last year, because there's a new fitter/sales guy who he found to be excellent. I have bought some accessories there over the years, as they cater to a more all around riding population.
Sky king, I would be pissed, too, if I were you.

Becky

10-20-2014, 04:41 AM

I'm struggling with this now, as the shop I race for and sometimes moonlight at doesn't sell the frame I want. I feel guilty about buying the frame and fork elsewhere, but hope to appease my guilt by ordering the build kit from "my" shop.

Sky King

10-20-2014, 04:44 AM

Thanks Crew, good insights and perhaps these "friends" think of the bike shop where they bought the Surly as the LBS for where they ride their fat bikes. It is in a resort town where they have their second home and that is where they ride said bike. I just have a hard time when it is flaunted in my face - my issue :) Crankin, We have some great customers who don't own the Surly's - how can that be - hee, hee. Yet they do buy all sorts of other items from us and I appreciate each and every one of them. I have adjusted my attitude, AGAIN all because of you thoughtful fellow bike riders.

Dogmama

10-20-2014, 04:56 AM

I am seriously thinking of buying a Madone, after riding one on my tour. .

Crankin, I'm still loving mine 2.5 years later. It is a Project One.

VeganBikeChick

10-24-2014, 02:42 PM

Dear Current Employer,

The pay rate you offered me today to switch to a department I love working in is a slap in the face. To make $10/hr less working every full weekend, nights? Are you crazy? And to have taken a $16/hr paycut to move here? I love Colorado, but their treatment of nurses is abominable. Looks like I'll be heading back to the PNW, back to all of my friends and a liveable wage. So tired of moving! At least I have it down to a science now.

Another (CO) nurse bites the dust.

katluvr

11-20-2014, 07:22 AM

Dear "Friends",
I have tried to stay in touch. I invite you to our usual Sunday night beer nights. I keep trying to keep the friendship going. I reach out. I try to plan things. Sometimes I get a response, sometimes not. I see you have new friends, new groups that you hang with (thanks FB). I try to "like" or comment on your posts. You don't seem to have time to "like" or comment on mine. Maybe we are not friends. I know I am tried of trying. Maybe we weren't really that good of friends. Maybe there are better people for me to spend my time with. If you still want to be my friend, do things with me, if you care...the balls in your court. I am moving on!
K

Sky King

11-21-2014, 06:41 AM

Right up there with the "friends" who are only around when they need you to do something for them

Dear "Friends",
I have tried to stay in touch. I invite you to our usual Sunday night beer nights. I keep trying to keep the friendship going. I reach out. I try to plan things. Sometimes I get a response, sometimes not. I see you have new friends, new groups that you hang with (thanks FB). I try to "like" or comment on your posts. You don't seem to have time to "like" or comment on mine. Maybe we are not friends. I know I am tried of trying. Maybe we weren't really that good of friends. Maybe there are better people for me to spend my time with. If you still want to be my friend, do things with me, if you care...the balls in your court. I am moving on!
K

snapdragen

11-21-2014, 08:27 AM

Right up there with the "friends" who are only around when they need you to do something for them

Thankfully, I've managed to shed those types. It's amazing what getting sick does to your "friend" pool.

Pax

11-21-2014, 08:43 AM

Thankfully, I've managed to shed those types. It's amazing what getting sick does to your "friend" pool.

Definitely (moms illness), when she finally passed away I looked around and we were down to about five friends total. The good ones. :D

redrhodie

11-24-2014, 09:10 AM

Thankfully, I've managed to shed those types. It's amazing what getting sick does to your "friend" pool.

I thought it was just me.

Hope you're feeling good snap.

snapdragen

11-24-2014, 11:51 AM

I thought it was just me.

Hope you're feeling good snap.

Feeling great, thank you!

Xrayted

12-14-2014, 09:53 PM

There are days when I feel like the universe is french kissing me and the next one, I can't even catch a green light. :rolleyes:

snapdragen

12-15-2014, 07:52 AM

There are days when I feel like the universe is french kissing me and the next one, I can't even catch a green light. :rolleyes:

What's that saying....sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield. :rolleyes:

smilingcat

12-15-2014, 03:38 PM

Dear ******,

Next year, you will be getting nothing or lumps of coal for Christmas. So you don't like what I sent to you this year. But was it really necessary to say that no one liked it, even though in years past everyone loved it. But this year not only everyone hated it but had to add that you can get the exact same thing where you live, is not only not nice, was it even necessary?

And for that, I went and cancelled a shipment of Pacific Northwest wild caught smoked Sockeye salmon. Saves me $$ while at it. BTW,our cats and dogs are getting organic free range chicken over the holiday season. And they were bit naughty this year. so PPPTTHHHH!!!

I'm very tired of the snarky comments and other not so nice comments.

Sincerely,

smilingcat

-----------
On a slightly different note: My local barista asked us if we were nice? so I said mostly and in return I asked her the same. She grinned and said no. She said may be two lumps of coal and huge beaming grin. Must have been good.

Blueberry

04-23-2015, 12:59 PM

Dear Landlord:

We're buying a house. We gave you the appropriate notice. We're doing our darnedest to be good tenants and help you rent the place. I even sent an email out to the neighborhood list on your behalf. Could you please be a little considerate?

Monday we stopped packing, cleaned up the packing mess and cleaned the house for you to not show it with 2 hours' notice. We did the same on Wednesday. Today, you showed up 10 minutes past the scheduled showing (which you apparently cancelled by telling an elderly person the house wasn't suitable for her - google Fair Housing Act, please) to take photos. I had spent over an hour cleaning, locked up my cats, and been cooling my heels (missing a glorious riding day). We (politely) asked that you not post photos (including some with our bikes) to Craigs. Apparently you are anyway. Before we move.

We will no longer be cleaning up the house for you or accommodating your showings any more than absolutely required. We will also not be leaving on the power "for your convenience until you re-rent it so you can work on it."

Catrin

04-23-2015, 03:52 PM

Blueberry, ugh. Hopefully the process will ease for you and the landlord stops trying to take advantage of your good intentions.

Pax

04-24-2015, 05:35 AM

Wow! Here that landlord would be in court so fast their head would spin. University town with huge renter protections, just to keep stuff like that from happening, what a jerk!

Blueberry

04-24-2015, 06:15 AM

Thanks Catrin and Pax. She posted it last night - but at least not the bikes and the map is about a block away (not that someone couldn't easily find it - but it's not a straight line to the house). Our housing laws are a mess here - so no help there. It would all be over before I could even get it in front of a magistrate. We would be out today except that our closing got delayed until Monday because either the plumber failed to call the city for an inspection or the city dragged its heels (had to remove a bunch of defective plumbing joints in the new house). So - they have yet to sheetrock and paint. Crossing our fingers all goes smoothly from here out.

Sorry to be so negative here lately - I need to make more of an effort to post the good stuff too!

emily_in_nc

04-25-2015, 02:43 PM

Ugh, Blueberry...sorry that your delayed closing has resulted in even more bad juju! I know you can't get out of that place fast enough.

Hopefully this will all soon be a distant memory, and you'll be enjoying rides in "the OC" very soon. SUCH a great place to ride!

OakLeaf

04-25-2015, 03:41 PM

Oh man Blueberry. Hoping you can close on Monday and get moved ASAP!

OakLeaf

06-16-2015, 03:46 PM

lauraelmore1033

06-16-2015, 07:10 PM

Dear seed companies,

I KNOW what the mature plant is supposed to look like, that's why I planted your seeds! How about decorating your seed packets with pictures of the cotyledons and first leaves so I know which ones aren't weeds???

Can't think of any weeds (around here, at least) that you can see the cotyledons on when they sprout.

OakLeaf

06-17-2015, 02:44 AM

Here, it's pretty much everything except the grasses and dandelions. Not that there isn't plenty of those, but there are all kinds of other weeds too that do sprout with their cotyledons first. At least I can recognize hairy galinsoga by now, gah, awful stuff!

IBrakeforPastry

06-17-2015, 09:32 AM

I'm a novice gardener, trying to learn from my accomplished neighbors. Last fall I planted and transplanted a bunch of stuff. Now I'm looking at all this new growth and wondering what's what. So no weeding for me until I know. My neighbors are understanding, and admit to the same problems. I have one neighbor who knows her wild plants and grasses, and has pointed out all the edible things growing in my lawn (I have everything but grass, it seems). I can invite everyone over for a pick-your-own salad bar!

OakLeaf

06-17-2015, 11:50 AM

Really there are just a couple of things that I haven't planted before. Row crops are easy since they'll be the only thing growing in a straight line. :) But I planted a few flowers for the first time and just scattered seed irregularly in the bed, and those are the ones that are desperately in need of weeding but I'm not sure what's what!

Pax

09-28-2015, 05:29 AM

Dear previous camper owner,

Don't you think perhaps it would have been more fair if you had mentioned you kept four dogs in the camper, before we flew all the way to Texas to pick it up? It's our bad for agreeing to buy it anyway and feeling like we were kind of out of choices, but you could have done the right thing and at least cleaned it.

We ended up having to stay in hotels the entire way home due to off the chart allergies, so more money than we expected on top of the mess.

Signed,

Very disappointed new owners

Helene2013

09-28-2015, 05:41 AM

Sorry Pax you had to go throug this. :(

This is one thing I've learned over the years since I am allergic to cigarette smoke is to ask if x place we are going to is smoke-free. I prefer not to go to a guest house when invited if I don't want to end up in the hospital.

Although I have pets, and they travel with us in our motorhome, it is something I would not hide for future buyers knowing some maybe allergic. Yes we keep our motorhome sparkling, we have towels/sheets anywhere a cat or dog could put his butt on or nail in but we can't prevent hair from flying. Thus the importance of mentioning to others who would come visit us.

Pax

09-28-2015, 06:34 AM

Helene, my folks had RVs my entire life and they also always had dogs, but they were kept so clean. This was an older woman and she just seems to no longer see dog hair. She invited us into her home for dinner while we were there, I was wearing navy blue slacks that looked beige by the time I left. Just don't understand not cleaning, or if you're not capable having someone else do it. I still limp horribly from my surgery and don't get around really well, but I'm going to have to clean this thing now or pay someone to do it, so not fair.

emily_in_nc

09-28-2015, 06:00 PM

That sux, Pax. So sorry! It's definitely something to ask when purchasing anything. Since we're thinking of a motorhome, I hope we can find a smoke- and pet-free unit if/when the time comes to buy. Yes, we have a dog, but I don't want to have to clean up someone else's dog hair who may not have been so diligent. I am mildly allergic to other people's dogs and very allergic to cats, so I feel your pain!

Pax

09-29-2015, 03:45 AM

Thanks, Emily. We've been home a couple of days and Marys allergies are still off the charts. Very frustrating transaction.

Honestly, if I were you I'd buy from a reputable dealer. It costs a bit more but a reputable dealer will warranty the systems for a short time so you won't roll down the road and find out you have no functioning generator.

OakLeaf

09-29-2015, 05:40 AM

Ugh Pax. That stinks - literally and figuratively! Hope you can get it cleaned without too much expense and/or pain. :( :mad:

Pax

09-29-2015, 06:50 AM

The closest Roadtrek dealer is going to detail it inside and out for $400. Well worth the money not to have asthma attacks during the process.

Crankin

09-29-2015, 04:31 PM

That is great, Pax. Asthma attacks should not be part of the package.

Pax

09-29-2015, 04:52 PM

I've had dogs in the past, I hate to think I was ever that immune to floating clouds of dogs hair and funk. We'll be really glad to get it back from the detailer and start making it ours!

emily_in_nc

09-30-2015, 09:57 AM

The closest Roadtrek dealer is going to detail it inside and out for $400. Well worth the money not to have asthma attacks during the process.

Excellent! And I totally agree about buying from a dealership vs. an individual. We are looking at Phoenix Cruisers (online), very well-made B+ units. We saw and even drove one in Tucson last year, but it was one size smaller than what we want. Still, we got to see the finishes and liked it very much. But who knows, we've been talking about and researching RVs for years now and can never seem to pull the trigger. It may not be meant to be for us, or the timing may have never been quite right. We shall see.

Hope you can enjoy your new baby once the allergens are GONE!

Pax

09-30-2015, 10:48 AM

Excellent! And I totally agree about buying from a dealership vs. an individual. We are looking at Phoenix Cruisers (online), very well-made B+ units. We saw and even drove one in Tucson last year, but it was one size smaller than what we want. Still, we got to see the finishes and liked it very much. But who knows, we've been talking about and researching RVs for years now and can never seem to pull the trigger. It may not be meant to be for us, or the timing may have never been quite right. We shall see.

Hope you can enjoy your new baby once the allergens are GONE!

We were exactly the same way, been thinking/planning/considering one for 20 years, so imagine the conversations as we rolled home from Texas! :p Did we make a mistake, holy crap we should just sell it, maybe it won't be so bad once we get it cleaned up...

I worked on it for two hours today just cleaning windows, putting on the plates and taking her stickers off the tire cover so we can add our own. Each day we seem to like it a little more.

snapdragen

09-30-2015, 06:16 PM

I find myself shopping online, looking at various motorhomes and trailers. I'm not sure I'd really enjoy having one though, since I hate driving for more than an hour or so. I can dream....

Pax

10-01-2015, 12:23 AM

I find myself shopping online, looking at various motorhomes and trailers. I'm not sure I'd really enjoy having one though, since I hate driving for more than an hour or so. I can dream....

Snap, several retired/full timer folks I know follow the 2-2-2 rule when traveling via RV; Each day, no more than 2 hours of driving, parked by 2 PM and stay for at least 2 days. You see more of the country that way, and don't wear yourself out in the process.

emily_in_nc

10-01-2015, 11:48 AM

Snap, several retired/full timer folks I know follow the 2-2-2 rule when traveling via RV; Each day, no more than 2 hours of driving, parked by 2 PM and stay for at least 2 days. You see more of the country that way, and don't wear yourself out in the process.

That's totally going to be us if we do it! Neither my DH nor I particularly enjoy driving. It's either boring or stressful, depending on traffic and where you are. We mind it less out west than in the east, though, for the wide-ranging views and usually less traffic and curvy, stressful roads. Less rain too. :-)

Pax, what did you end up getting? You mentioned a Roadtrek dealer -- is that what you got? We love their newer e-trek model, but it's way above our budget. If we wait long enough, perhaps, but they're still too new to be budget friendly, even on the used market. I bet you're gonna love it once you can make it your own. It's comforting to me to hear that you also talked about it for a long time (a very long time) before pulling the trigger! We've been talking on and off for maybe 6-7 years.

Pax

10-01-2015, 11:56 AM

Emily - it's an old Roadtrek, a 1999 190 Popular. Luckily the first owner lived in NM so it was never in a really rainy environment, he took excellent care of it cosmetically and mechanically. The second owner was diligent about the mechanical, she just didn't seem to care about the cosmetic at all... but she only had it three years so it's all fixable.

Spent another two hours in it today de-littleoldlady-ing it. Removing her cushion covers and a metric ton of plastic pink flamingo crap; it's starting to feel like ours.

snapdragen

10-01-2015, 08:14 PM

I like the sound of this...

rebeccaC

10-01-2015, 09:52 PM

i thought pink flamingos were part of the florida mystique :)...sounds like some good road trips coming up....maybe southern ca???? :D

i would luv a volkswagen eurovan camper...if i could take a year off

Pax

10-01-2015, 10:58 PM

I like the sound of this...
It really does seem like an interesting way to see the country and to step out of the ordinary. I know I'll never be a full time off the grid van dweller, but I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy spending time in the places the rig can take me.

i thought pink flamingos were part of the florida mystique :)...sounds like some good road trips coming up....maybe southern ca???? :D

i would luv a volkswagen eurovan camper...if i could take a year off
Pink flamingos are what you have to make you feel like you live in FL... before you actually do. :p

The VW's are awesome, too bad hipsters decided they're cool, the prices have gone through the roof.

emily_in_nc

10-02-2015, 10:11 AM

Spent another two hours in it today de-littleoldlady-ing it. Removing her cushion covers and a metric ton of plastic pink flamingo crap; it's starting to feel like ours.

Teehee...Sounds like it's getting better every day! I do think part of the fun would be making a motorhome into our "home", and compared to all the traveling we've been doing where we stay in hotels or other people's rentals (VRBO, Airbnb), it would be nice to have a place for everything, not have to constantly be packing and unpacking, and just have OUR own space, even though small. Also nice to be able to travel with doggie without having to rule out so many places for not being pet-friendly. These are some of the appeals of it to us.

I hope you get to do some fun traveling with your Roadtrek. Post photos when the time comes!

Eden

10-02-2015, 10:27 AM

snapdragen

10-02-2015, 06:50 PM

Hey now, nothing wrong with pink flamingos... :rolleyes: 17819

Pax

10-03-2015, 03:46 AM

Nothing at all, now 500 of them in a 20' camper...

:p

emily_in_nc

10-03-2015, 10:54 AM

My parents have been "full timing" for more than 20 years now… I couldn't live that way, but they love it. They don't have a home base period, they've been using various relatives and friends homes as their address. They criss cross around the states and Canada for the most part. They've made little forays across the border into Mexico, but haven't spent any significant time there - I don't think even over night. They follow the good weather around and try to visit all the little stuff that mostly gets missed if you are traveling quickly.

One note about dogs - if you do travel with a dog it can still be difficult to visit some places like national parks. Dogs aren't allowed on trails at all - basically not outside of parking lots and some campground areas and you cannot leave them alone at campsites or in vehicles (including motorhomes), so what you can actually do there is very limited. I think my parents (or at least my dad…) might like to have one, but they haven't for that reason.

Yes, I am very aware of this as we've been to quite a few National Parks (without our dog, of course). However, people do leave their dogs in their motorhomes often -- we've seen (and heard!) it as we've walked through quite a few campgrounds. If the campground has rules against it it is either because they worry about nuisance barking, which ours doesn't do (we're lucky if she barks one time a week!) or the pet's safety from heat or cold. If you plan to avoid the hottest or coldest times and leave fans running and plenty of ventilation, fresh water, etc, I don't see the problem. Otherwise you can't even take a bike ride or go out to dinner together. If you have full hookups, you can even leave the A/C running for them, if needed.

When we've stayed in hotels with Paisley, there have often been rules about leaving dogs in the room alone, but we've done it many times because, as I say, she is (very thankfully!) quiet, non-destructive, and just sleeps while we're gone. She doesn't jump up on the bed, so we just put her blankie on the chair (if there is one), so she can sleep there until we return from our bike ride, meal out, whatever. We use the "do not disturb" sign on the door so the housekeeper won't enter the room. We have stayed in many, many hotels over the past few years and have never once had any issues with doing this.

That said, we would be more likely to stay in state parks or boondock. National parks, while a special treat, can be very crowded, so we wouldn't necessarily concentrate on those as we prefer places with fewer people.

We are already nomadic like your folks, we just stay in rentals rather than an RV so far. We have a mail service that gets our mail to us wherever we roam, or we have it sent to my step-father to look at and scan in for us if needed. We are officially Florida residents, but really, we are full-time travelers as we have no home there or anywhere else, for that matter. So changing to an RV would not be as big a change for us as it would be to someone who has lived in the same place for awhile. We've done that, of course, but we are enjoying traveling around in our early retirement years. I am sure we'll settle down again one of these days, but where and when are far from decided. :D

Crankin

10-04-2015, 05:22 AM

I could never wander; I am just too much a creature of habit. I do love traveling, and we've considered maybe, spending 2-4 weeks in the winter back in AZ, but one of the things I like about traveling, is coming home to my own home! This makes me think there's something wrong with me. I am even getting worried that I might not be able to handle moving out to western MA, eventually. I just feel very attached to the area we live in. Maybe this is because I have moved a lot, mostly as an adult. I didn't even start seriously traveling until about 10 years ago, so hearing about a wandering lifestyle is completely new to me. I don't want to be like my extended family, who see travel as unnecessary, and almost evil (probably because they are scared to death of anyone/thing who is different from them), but I know myself. I still don't deal that well with the physical aspects of travel/time zone changes, and while I often hold it together for the time I am away, I get sick when I get home.

Pax

10-04-2015, 06:08 AM

I hear you about the physical challenges of travel. It never used to bother me, but now it does take a me a while to recover from the trips, especially anything involving air travel. I'm hoping wandering with our own little home will ameliorate those issues.

shootingstar

10-04-2015, 06:46 AM

BEcause I had sleep disruption and have had to attend to realigning my sleep patterns after my concussion, I find now that if there is a time zone difference of over 2 hrs.or more, I need to be more conscious of my sleep needs.

I'm the sort of traveller that likes at least knowing general travel plans to areas I don't know ..meaning things that we might see along the way, if right weather conditions, cycling, snowshoeing or hiking. I am not a totally outdoor traveller...ie. I want to escape to the wilderness for many weeks. After a few hikes and then in the evening, if there is no Internet, I get bored. Reading a book is nice, but doing many evenings of this, I wonder what else I am missing in the area that I'm visiting.

I do find people, culture, history and art very interesting to learn about an area. I like wilderness activities and trips which ALSO include an outing to a town, an historic point, etc. For instance in the Canadian mountain regions..there are historic markers for the Gold Rush, building of the national railway, Japanese-CAnadian internment camp sites during WWII, wineries, rail trails...all marks of human touch.

I understand some folks just want to see wild animals, vegetation, etc. in a foreign country outside of North America. Yes, the wildlife safari in Africa, etc. But you know, it almost sounds insulting, not even learn abit about the local culture nor meet the locals who live there. (beyond a local safari guide) To me that's ironic, and very "protected" way of travelling....NOT meeting the reality of locals and their real culture.

Wherever I travel, I like dropping by local bike shops, a local art gallery/arts/crafts centre, bookstore (because local books are not marketed heavily online) or if there's a farmers' market. The latter you really get a flavour of locals and foods, particularily outside of North America...but also in different regions....New Mexico market is very different from British Columbia different from Quebec! And may I add, Hawaiian farmers' market is totally different.

Crankin

10-04-2015, 08:32 AM

The best part of our recent trips were the farmer's markets in Provence and in Lisbon. I just used up the tapenade I bought in Provence.
I agree, Shooting Star. I also like to learn about local culture, even while on a bike trip. That's why things felt a little "off," on our trip to Provence. The cycling was all we hoped for, the scenery outstanding, and the food/wine, the best. But, we didn't really get to explore a lot in the 2 towns we stayed in. Some was because when we got back from riding, we wanted to chill out from riding in the heat; others did walk into town. But this was built in much more to our other trips. Having espresso at a cafe in a tiny little Portuguese village while riding was something you could not replicate in any other way. We even had to avoid a donkey that had broken lose from its owner and was running down the street, as we cycled out of the town!

Pax

10-04-2015, 08:54 AM

We are musuem junkies, we've found just about any wide spot in the road has a museum/historical markers/historical societies... So fun to discover those tiny little places on our adventures!

emily_in_nc

10-04-2015, 11:17 AM

We like learning about local culture, visiting local restaurants & farmer's markets, walking, hiking, and watching birds, and cycling in different areas (but of course)! We rarely travel more than one time zone at a time. On road trips, which is mostly what we do, we do short days and spend 2-3 days in each town/city, usually, if not a week or a month, so one time zone at a time. And where we are in Mexico is either 0 or 1 hour off from Eastern time, depending on the time of year. So I do get that. I feel icky when crossing more than one time zone too.

The last time we flew back east from Hawaii, I started having visual anomalies that next morning (after pretty much losing a full night of sleep traveling), and I was only 30 then! All was cured with a good night's sleep, but I had to take an extra day off work I felt so "off" and didn't even trust myself to drive. I can only imagine how well I'd do in my 50s. I decided after that trip that I'd prefer island destinations closer to home, so when we have gone to the tropics since, it's been the Caribbean.

Having lived in NC most of my life, over the pat few years I have been surprised to learn what a nomadic subculture there actually is out there. In addition to the obvious (RVers and sailboat cruisers), when we moved to Belize, we learned about other couples and families who were moving around nomadically with no set home base. We met two couples there who were living this lifestyle, which was all new to us. One couple moves to a different place every three months (they're now in Malta), and the other stays from 6 months to 2 years in any one place (they're now in Bali). And meeting them opened our eyes to how many others are doing just that -- from digital workers in their 20s to retirees. There are a ton of blogs written by these various nomads.

Since we have a dog, it's much harder to travel internationally, and thus we've limited our travels to within the US, plus Belize and Mexico so far, both of which are easy to take a dog in and out of. Most of the nomads we know of are traveling without pets unless they are doing it in an RV.

Crankin, I don't think there's a thing wrong with you for wanting to limit your travels to 1-2 vacations a year. I think most people feel just like you: they are ready for the comforts of home after being away for awhile. We're the odd balls -- not you! :cool:

Crankin

10-04-2015, 11:35 AM

Maybe, Emily...
One good thing, is that now that I've traveled to Europe quite a bit, when I go to California, the 3 hour time difference doesn't bother me half as much as it used to. That is good, since my son/DIL, former exchange student, and brother live there. We are planning a family vacation in Morro Bay for next August, so I don't think there will be any international travel this coming summer. But, you never know. I think we have some BA miles that have to be used soon, or we lose them, so that might be incentive for a quick trip.

shootingstar

10-05-2015, 04:06 AM

over the pat few years I have been surprised to learn what a nomadic subculture there actually is out there. In addition to the obvious (RVers and sailboat cruisers), when we moved to Belize, we learned about other couples and families who were moving around nomadically with no set home base. We met two couples there who were living this lifestyle, which was all new to us. One couple moves to a different place every three months (they're now in Malta), and the other stays from 6 months to 2 years in any one place (they're now in Bali). And meeting them opened our eyes to how many others are doing just that -- from digital workers in their 20s to retirees. There are a ton of blogs written by these various nomads.

Since we have a dog, it's much harder to travel internationally, and thus we've limited our travels to within the US, plus Belize and Mexico so far, both of which are easy to take a dog in and out of. Most of the nomads we know of are traveling without pets unless they are doing it in an RV.

Crankin, I don't think there's a thing wrong with you for wanting to limit your travels to 1-2 vacations a year. I think most people feel just like you: they are ready for the comforts of home after being away for awhile. We're the odd balls -- not you! :cool:

It's probably easiest to let go the idea of owning a lot of personal possessions. Just keep the bank account solvent.

As for moving and travelling, living in different countries, I could see myself doing it for 2 yrs. And after awhile, it would wear me down. For sure, I'm not into longtime camping, chopping your own wood, wilderness living:

I think this is heavily influenced from raised in a poor, large family. I know what it is like and how tough, disciplined it can be not to have certain home conveniences. Imagine not having a dryer for a family of 6 children. This is in Ontario. I don't think I have to invent living back to the basics...when already I don't have a cellphone nor TV. :)

After several wks. of travelling, I like coming home.

Living a car-free life for last few decades, the whole idea of wilderness living and camping long term...doesn't turn my crank. But certainly RV'ing you can bring along creature comforts.

As a cyclist, RVs scare me. I really don't like being near them on the road when we're bike touring.

Crankin, I agree that last trip of yours overseas, would been even nicer to wander around in town among the locals. But I understand the feeling of being exhausted after a bike trip and resting.

snapdragen

10-05-2015, 11:43 AM

Haaaaaaaaa!!!!! :eek:

Eden

10-05-2015, 05:15 PM

We are musuem junkies, we've found just about any wide spot in the road has a museum/historical markers/historical societies... So fun to discover those tiny little places on our adventures!

You might enjoy a peruse around my mom's blog - she hasn't had it going all 20 years… but enough that she's got a large collection of tiny places catalogued and mapped
http://rollinginarv-wheelchairtraveling.blogspot.com

emily_in_nc

10-05-2015, 05:29 PM

As for moving and travelling, living in different countries, I could see myself doing it for 2 yrs. And after awhile, it would wear me down. For sure, I'm not into longtime camping, chopping your own wood, wilderness living

Believe me, none of the people I mentioned are chopping their own wood or living in the wilderness! Most are renting very civilized flats and villas with electricity, heat, and indoor plumbing. :D But all are on a budget as one has to be to travel unless one is very wealthy. Still, there are plenty of budget-friendly accommodations out there that are nice. We also know one couple personally and know of several others who are "professional" house-sitters. They get to stay in houses that are often much nicer and larger than they could afford, while the owners travel.

As for RVing, we are interested in smaller ones, not the ones that scare you (and us!) when cycling on the road. If we do buy one, we won't be doing any wood chopping (we plan to follow warm weather) nor sleeping on the ground as in traditional "camping", but we will be living without a washer-dryer. That is an inconvenience to be sure, but is hopefully more than made up for by the places we'll get to travel to. A lot of RV parks and campgrounds have laundry facilities. We are already used to no dryer as we hang our clothes out here in Mexico and love how nice they smell after drying in the sunshine and breeze.

17824

There are definitely trade-offs with any lifestyle. I am sure we will not be nomads forever, but for now, we have no real reason to be tied to one place -- we're retired and don't have children, so we might as well travel while we're healthy and able. And one big advantage for us is to be able to stay far away from winter but still visit places that have cold winters in the summer, if we so desire. We have yet to find one single place where we like the weather year-round, so we may always live in at least two places even when we finally do settle down. We met a lot of folks in Belize who were doing just that: six months in the US or Canada, six months in Belize.

shootingstar

10-05-2015, 06:52 PM

There are definitely trade-offs with any lifestyle. I am sure we will not be nomads forever, but for now, we have no real reason to be tied to one place -- we're retired and don't have children, so we might as well travel while we're healthy and able. And one big advantage for us is to be able to stay far away from winter but still visit places that have cold winters in the summer, if we so desire. We have yet to find one single place where we like the weather year-round, so we may always live in at least two places even when we finally do settle down. We met a lot of folks in Belize who were doing just that: six months in the US or Canada, six months in Belize.

I'm sure you and hubby will find a place one day. I agree if one is healthy, go for it. Always better to travel when one is healthy.
I gave up camping for several nights on ground..about 15 years ago. On long distance bike touring, it just became an energy drainer after 3-4 consecutive days....after cycling for 5-6 hrs. with our loaded panniers, set up camp, rest and then next morning, de-camp. I always made sure such long trips by bike, 50% of accommodation was in hotel/motel/b'n b. On such trips one is so acutely reminded of Canada's vast terrain!

Just today, my former boss told me she sold her 3 bedroom house (after making sure her 2 adult children found their own rentals), sold/gave away her furniture (which meant removing frosted glass doors, etc. that the buyers didn't want) and whittled down her assets to 2 large suitcases. Rest in a rented storage rm. size of 1 small bedroom. She retired just 2 wks. ago. She's off to live temp. in Italy, then Greece and Paris.

She's not sure where she will land permanently. She did live in Greece for a few years with her lst child.

I admire her guts to sell everything. I'm not quite like that: I know a close friend who is close to 80, always been single her whole life. She has owned a home. But sold it about 15 yrs. ago.

Now...she's running out of money..she's had to downsize to a cheaper apartment that she doesn't really care for but has no choice. I know she must be living on the line because she's very careful to order modestly when we have coffee together.

I've watched my parents struggle so hard financially for us and saw that when my father died last year, at least my mother still has a warm home to live in that's hers.
At this time, I prefer just to consolidate my stuff in 1 city but that will not happen until after I retire. Much of my travel budget is spent jockeying between seeing my partner and also visiting family. Because Canada is so big and there are distinct regional differences, I do consider it as form of "travel" because I actively seek to see new things in cities /areas where I used to live (things do change!) and when I'm visiting people I know. My personal blog is one of the few blogs that blends in pacific northwest coast, prairies and Eastern Canada with very recent photos all in single blog post...because I continue to be in all those regions nearly each year and so I might as well showcase what I know/see in those regions.

British Columbia is a beautiful province and there are things I continue enjoy seeing ..and miss/know I would like to see at least once.

Pax

10-06-2015, 05:59 AM

You might enjoy a peruse around my mom's blog - she hasn't had it going all 20 years… but enough that she's got a large collection of tiny places catalogued and mapped
http://rollinginarv-wheelchairtraveling.blogspot.com

Too funny, small world time, I've been following her blog for a long time, and I "know" her from another forum.

Eden

10-06-2015, 06:42 AM

Too funny, small world time, I've been following her blog for a long time, and I "know" her from another forum.

Oh my - that is funny

Pax

10-27-2015, 11:21 AM

Dear Small Town Florida Employers,

It seems a bit short-sighted to ignore highly qualified candidates for positions because a) they don't have enough community connections yet, b) they just moved here, or c) your cousins nephews daughter needed a job (so you rewrote the qualifications and then reopened the job).

Sincerely,

Highly Qualified Applicant (you've passed over repeatedly)

I'm having zero luck with finding a professional job here, so it's (with any luck) back to part time retail for me Just got done filling out the online application for Home Depot, uploaded my resume and answered about 25 resume related questions. Then I got to answer the "assessment questions", 145 multiple guess questions to see what I know about customer service, work culture, tools, and home repair.

I just can't, for the life of me, imagine 90% of the people at my local HD answering those questions even remotely correctly.

ny biker

10-27-2015, 02:05 PM

Well that stinks. I hope you're able to land something good soon.

Pax

10-27-2015, 02:46 PM

emily_in_nc

10-27-2015, 02:59 PM

Thanks, I'm just perplexed. Why would they hire a 20 something for a library job when they could hire someone with years of excellent library experience at one of the top three libraries in the world? Just really confusing.

Because they can pay him or her much less? That's all I can figure. Sorry, Pax! I sure hope you'll find something decent soon. Does Home Depot have a good employee discount? That could come in handy, if nothing else.

Pax

10-27-2015, 03:19 PM

Because they can pay him or her much less? That's all I can figure. Sorry, Pax! I sure hope you'll find something decent soon. Does Home Depot have a good employee discount? That could come in handy, if nothing else.

Not sure, but good point. A discount would be sweet!

Eden

11-03-2015, 06:04 AM

It's bad enough to have to deal with stupid drivers… but you, dude who just had to run the stop sign (and probably at least 3 others), so you and your no fender racer boy- wanna be (and yes I know you are a wanna be - because actual racers all have fenders - their teammates wouldn't tolerate otherwise) butt could pass me and spray goo in my face - that's really uncool. And you, old dude, who must have a death wish, it's equally uncool (and unsafe) to sneak up the side of the line of cars at the light, which I have joined, then yell "on your right" in my ear just as I've pushed off because, surprise (NOT) the one in front of me is turning right, and a sidewalk appears so you've suddenly no where to go.
Oh… and all you folks who've purchased ultra bright lights. It is really great that bike light technology has improved, but it is really NOT necessary to have 3 or more miniature suns pointed straight ahead when you are on the MUP. Please, please, spare my poor eyes and turn them down from the "exploring the Marianas Trench mode" and angle them towards the road surface rather than pointing them straight at people. I keep my L&M Stella on it's 50 lumen setting and point it away from your face. It would be courteous of you to do the same.

Blueberry

11-03-2015, 08:17 AM

Dear Neighbor who owns the other 1/2 of our townhouse:

I get that you're old and hard of hearing - but must you have the TV at full volume against the wall of my office all.day.long? There's a lot of sound proofing in these walls - so god knows how loud you have that thing.
It's darned near impossible to work while listening to your "stories."

Love,
Your neighbor who is rapidly losing patience

PS: The next time you stalk me when I get off the bus to find out when my husband will be done with the (free) translation he is doing for your genealogy project we *will* have words - about stalking and the television. And perhaps the fact that your regularly block our driveway and drive down the wrong side of the road.

emily_in_nc

11-03-2015, 12:08 PM

Oh man, that really stinks, Blueberry!

I absolutely hate having to hear other people's noise, smell their smoke, or whatever it might be that infringes on my peaceful home space, so this would drive me crazy.

We've rented and/or lived in enough multi-unit buildings since selling our house (on 11 wooded acres, where we had no idea how spoiled we were) that we're finally realizing that we do not want to share walls with anyone. We thought we chose really wisely in our current space, as it's a top-floor apartment in a small building where we are the only unit on the floor, so we don't share any walls, only our floor with the unit below us. But still, we can hear doors slamming, furniture moving, cabinets slamming, smell smoke coming up under our door from the stairwell, etc. Most people are just not conscientious! We try really hard not to slam doors, keep the TV turned down, etc., but others just don't seem to realize or care.

Anyway, I am sorry. I would be so stressed out -- sounds like you're getting to that point as well.

Blueberry

11-03-2015, 12:25 PM

Anyway, I am sorry. I would be so stressed out -- sounds like you're getting to that point as well.

Thank you :-) Glad to know I'm not the only one.

The last of the 4 exams in 16 days is tomorrow - really hoping my sense of humor comes back when it's over. :-) We'll be back to every -other- week exams - which I find much more manageable. We have some nice weather coming up - looking forward to getting back out on my bike soon!

ny biker

11-03-2015, 12:43 PM

Oh you are definitely not alone. There are many things to like about my condo but two things that I cannot fix persist in making me unhappy -- food odors from downstairs and next door and the fact that I hear every single footstep from upstairs. And don't get me started on the toilet seat slamming upstairs. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Sometimes twice in less than a minute. I can hear it from every corner of my house. Is she angry at the toilet seat? Punishing it for bad behavior?

Anyway, recently I was trying to read in my living room when the neighbors came home and started slamming stuff. I went and got my white noise machine from the bedroom and turned it on, and that helped. The other thing that might help is earplugs.

Good luck!!

Crankin

11-03-2015, 04:31 PM

Sorry, Blueberry. That neighbor sounds crazy.
We are the middle unit of 3 in our new condo. It was built when they put in special sound proofing walls between the units. I have been told this is not done anymore. But, I think it wouldn't matter. I think I am going to be living in a morgue when I move. I've spent several hours there, and it's like no one is there, in any of the homes. No cars going in and out, and you don't see anyone very often. I met one of the neighbors, but the other ones, a couple, seem to never leave the house, or be gone when we are there. It's kind of depressing. I mean, I don't want noise and issues, but after deciding not to live in an age restricted community, I've ended up in one, as there appear to be no younger people. It's a small community, of 15 homes, on its own street.
I guess young people who want to move to Concord don't want to live there, although, it's very affordable, compared to most of the homes and even other townhouses.

I could never live in a huge condo complex, though. My parents lived in a typical huge, 70s style condo in San Diego. There was one self appointed older guy who walked up and down the parking lot looking for cars that were in violation of the guest parking spaces. It drove me crazy when we visited, as I didn't want this guy looking in my car. So, one day, I left a little note on my dashboard, that said "If you are reading this, you are an azzhole." Probably very immature (I was about 30), but the guy also harrassed me when I was at the pool with my baby, and he didn't recognize me. Of course, I had the properly displayed guest pass and he went to the condo office to complain. They called my parents! My dad was diplomatic, but said he had had enough of the harrassment of this guy. I never forgot this.

emily_in_nc

11-03-2015, 04:56 PM

NY Biker, did you ever find any solutions for the food odor issue? I remember your posting about it here and many of us trying to help with possible solutions. Hope you found something to help.

Crankin, your new condo sounds like the DH and my ideal! We would love to live in a very quiet spot with unobtrusive neighbors. :D Sounds like pretty much the opposite of where we live now. If you want lots of people around (most way younger than yourself) and tons of social opportunities, just come to Playa del Carmen!

rebeccaC

11-03-2015, 10:33 PM

Thanks, I'm just perplexed. Why would they hire a 20 something for a library job when they could hire someone with years of excellent library experience at one of the top three libraries in the world? Just really confusing.

I’d think possessing a mix of the confidence and the wisdom you’ve gather in your years in that field would certainly make you a better candidate than a person new to the field. Would you think about doing some part time volunteering for a while to maybe even better make that point, make you a more compelling candidate for new openings and if your experience was threatening to someone to lessen that? In any case I do hope you find something you can enjoy doing!!!!

Dear Bella, I know you’re only here for a few days while your mom is traveling for work and it has no bearing on how much I luv you but do you really have to always be within a few feet of someone?
https://farm1.staticflickr.com/749/22717021311_3ff5b3d3cb_z.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/ABqEZe)

Pax

11-04-2015, 06:30 AM

LOL!!! Great pic, Rebecca!

snapdragen

11-04-2015, 01:35 PM

Dear rebeccaC:

Yes. Yes I do.

Love, Bella

rebeccaC

11-05-2015, 08:43 PM

Dear rebeccaC:

Yes. Yes I do.

Love, Bella

:)

and thanks pax....she is precious even when being a little needy for attention :)

Pax

11-06-2015, 05:50 AM

Dear men on another forum,

Newsflash, just because you think/want it is so doesn't make it so, your mind boggling privilege is showing.

Sincerely,

Utterly disgusted by bigots

Pax

11-06-2015, 06:20 AM

Uh oh. What happened?

Just endless passive aggressive refusing to call Caitlyn Jenner Caitlin, loudly applauding the vote in Houston this week, and going on and on with their usual "this is the end of our country as we know it" BS because, heaven forbid, gays or trans people have any rights. It gets very old.

Pax

11-06-2015, 08:15 AM

Yeah, it does.

I've gotten to the point where I just refuse to read crap like that. You can't change narrow-minded, uneducated, low-intelligence people.

Saw an article recently that said middle aged white americans are committing suicide more than any other group, it indicated it was skewing towards less educated people... I can see this, so many angry, intolerant, hateful people that hold on to their bigotry even when proven wrong over and over and over. It must be depressing to always think everything sucks.

emily_in_nc

11-06-2015, 09:26 AM

Saw an article recently that said middle aged white americans are committing suicide more than any other group, it indicated it was skewing towards less educated people... I can see this, so many angry, intolerant, hateful people that hold on to their bigotry even when proven wrong over and over and over. It must be depressing to always think everything sucks.

I read the same article. But I'm pretty sure it said men were the ones killing themselves.

I believe it. I've known of four male expats (three in Belize, one here in Playa) to kill themselves just in the past couple of years. In their case I don't think any of it was related to bigotry (one was gay, fer instance) but just deep depression. One was an Afghanistan veteran in his early 40s, so undoubtedly some PTSD there. I just find it very tragic when people see no other alternative. And I think people often come to other countries to "escape to a better place", and when they find out, as you do, that you bring your problems with you no matter where you go, they can't handle it.

Crankin

11-06-2015, 09:49 AM

More women attempt suicide, but more men actually complete it.
I find that I am getting angry, too, but at all the stupid azz bigots in the world! I now have 2 trans clients, and one woman whose daughter is questioning. It has been a privilege to work with these people, help them on their journey, and learn about something that is outside my experience. Sometimes, I wonder why I can tolerate differences, when others are so prejudiced against anything that isn't within their frame of reference. Ugh. I guess it's mostly because my parents were pretty cool about stuff and my formative years were spent in a super liberal environment.

rebeccaC

11-06-2015, 10:12 AM

Just endless passive aggressive refusing to call Caitlyn Jenner Caitlin, loudly applauding the vote in Houston this week, and going on and on with their usual "this is the end of our country as we know it" BS because, heaven forbid, gays or trans people have any rights. It gets very old.

I rarely respond to those things posted online….my little way of denying some oxygen to those messages…but if I do it’s usually with kindness, a calm and intelligent response and even with thanks by pointing out those views just allow fair and reasonably minded people to more clearly see the person and those ideas for what they are.

But then….isn’t it a known fact that reason and humanism are just seductive tools of that ever crafty Satan. :eek:

Pax

11-06-2015, 10:46 AM

Yeah, Rebecca, these are guys I've "known" online for years. In the beginning I was kind and gentle, over time they've become so full of hate and self righteousness that I no longer even bother to reply. They are just miserable human beings, many I've met IRL over the years but now would actively avoid at any gathering. They take up a cause like "Bruce is still a man so I'll call HIM that forever" and they actually seem to enjoy the discord they sow. Sad and disconcerting times, but I suppose people have always been this way... they just now have a global sounding board rather than their local watering hole of yesterday.

emily_in_nc

11-06-2015, 05:12 PM

Pax

11-06-2015, 05:21 PM

I just don't get why anyone is so up in arms about Caitlyn Jenner. Why are these men so threatened? Does she affect them or their lives at ALL?

It's one thing if they have a trans person in their family and struggling with accepting them as the opposite gender than they are used to. That would be difficult for anyone just because of the dissonance of it. But to get all freaked out, angry, or nasty about a public figure they don't even know other than through the media? I just totally don't get it at all.

I think the only explanation is privilege. When you are used to calling all the shots in society you simply will not be told that your old way of thinking needs to be modified in any way, you ARE the authority and you will do as you please. Or, in other words, whiny dinosaurs that are having a hissy fit about being no longer relevant.

lph

11-07-2015, 12:02 AM

I agree, it's confusing to see how some people feel threatened by other people being given more acknowledgement. I could understand it if it actually meant that their privilege was threatened, but I just don't see how for instance recognition of trans people affects anyone elses privileges at all. It looks ugly because it implies that the privilege was based on keeping someone else down in the first place.

On a related note - there was a Octoberfest party at work recently, including a costume competition. I couldn't go. One of the men had dressed as a woman, 70s disco style, and apparently looked stunning. He's tall and lanky, and looked very glamourous in a silver lame jumpsuit with a halter neck, and a matching silver wig and make-up. The funny thing is I heard from several people afterwards, separately, that they felt a little uncomfortable about it because he "seemed to enjoy it too much". Which I found rather bizarre, because the whole point was to be in costume, and he was good at being in character.

Ok, so I wasn't there, but it struck me that people (women, in this case) seemed very quick to find a man in drag "creepy". Crossing gender lines seems to creep some people out a lot. I don't really think a woman dressing and acting successfully as a man would have had the same response. Is it that choosing to be feminine is choosing to be "weak" and therefore strange?

Crankin

11-07-2015, 02:25 AM

That could be it, lph, but I think it's more an uncomfortableness with anything outside someone's own framework of gender or sexuality. I can definitely see people describing that situation as creepy, because a lot of people have "strict" cognitive schemas of this stuff.

smilingcat

11-07-2015, 06:27 PM

Well... there are lot of things I can say about Caitlin, transgender, queer what is it LGBTQ I think its called. I really don't care. But if a man dresses up as a woman and "hit" on a woman, I would have some serious issues. I don't think that ever happens. But ya never know. As for the office guy as a glam woman, I think that's pretty funny even if he really got into the act.

--------------

Okay dear ISP,

YOU *&^%!! You said, I would have Internet connection by Nov. 3. My old ISP went out of business and now I don't have 4G connection at home. It's a good thing I still have my old personal hot spot WiFi. I've reactivated after 4 or 5 years. so I can be on the internet. And yesterday, I asked over the phone after ** minutes of wait what was the expected dated and said Nov. 19. Really!!? R U kidding? Didn't realize, there are no wires to my house and they have to install new line. Wait, there was a crew on Oct. 30 installing cables from the street to my house. Noo ma'am, there are no available lines in the street.

EXCUUUSEEEE MEEEE!!!

How much worse can it get?? oh yeah, they'll charge me $$ while I have no internet connection.

I'm not thrilled with personal hot spot either. $$$ for limited data transfer each month. And my network at home is having some issues. All my printers are on WiFi connection and now I need another WiFi for the hotspot. Windows machine no like!! Even my Linux box is no like. I hope the fiber ISP gets straightened out by the date they said they would.

AARRRGGHHHH!!!

rebeccaC

11-07-2015, 10:44 PM

But if a man dresses up as a woman and "hit" on a woman, I would have some serious issues.

I just enjoy meeting and getting to know people, regardless of their gender expression or sexual orientation. I'm always open to a having a fun and/or good conversation and sometimes they can even be unexpectedly meaningful. Besides, going any further than Hi or ending an interaction can be up to me not them. Ending even a bad interaction in a nice way leaves me feeling good about my role in it too.

Catrin

11-08-2015, 04:01 AM

Blueberry

11-08-2015, 05:20 AM

Dear Volkswagon:

You suck. Your customers are tired of being patient. I tried to trade my 2011 diesel Jetta yesterday (since I had wanted to trade it since before your little indiscretion became public for reasons like - repair cost). We have one income and a boatload of med school loans coming in. The fact that this car basically can't be traded because you cheated is infuriating. It's insulting that you are now considering offering 1200 in gift cards, most of which can't be spent anywhere but VW for your overpriced service. We found the very rare perfect used Subie yesterday. Now I have to decide whether to take a 5k bath on this car, own 2 cars, or let a car that I won't easily find again go. You are leaving me no choice but to dust off my law degree and use it.

Blueberry

11-08-2015, 06:03 AM

You have a law degree and are in medical school?!

Holy. Crap.

Hah. Yes. I practiced for 9 years, and realized I didn't want to do it for the rest of my life. Went back to the drawing board, took all the pre-med classes, and I'm in my first year of Med School. I call it my mid-life crisis. Sometimes nuts, but so worth it.

rebeccaC

11-08-2015, 09:21 AM

Guess I still kind of want a masters in creative writing, but I actually know how to do that, it would be just for myself.

Do it when you have the time!!!

Lifelong learning with things like credit or non-credit academic courses, community service and volunteerism, educational travel etc. can expand awareness, self-fulfillment and truly create a multi-dimensional life. Listening to or taking part in stimulating discussions can also help us open our minds and understand better the other side of an issue.

The on-line formats of free continuing educational courses today also helps to ensure that learning activities are accessible to anyone that is interested in participating.

Crankin

11-08-2015, 12:09 PM

I got my second master's (in clinical mental health counseling) at age 55, so it's never too late. But, I've always been in school. When you are a teacher, it's part of the plan. I love going to school, so I never minded. Finished all but the internship for a Certificate of Advanced Grad Studies in Ed Admin, then decided I was done with teaching. But, I learned a lot in those classes, and I don't regret it. I also was involved with a Spencer Foundation grant (my boss said we would never get it!) on teaching creative writing, and did 2 years of stuff around that; workshops, and retreats that were awesome. It was a ton of work, to justify the 20K they gave us.
Blueberry, all things about cars suck...

ny biker

11-08-2015, 08:36 PM

The VW situation is appalling. I know two people who are affected -- one just bought his car a few months ago.

My degrees are in marketing. When I changed careers to software development I took classes in a continuing education program at a local college. It was not inexpensive. Now I am wondering if I have a future in this field or if it's time to find something else, but I don't want to go into debt for more schooling. I also don't feel like I have the mental energy for it anymore.

Pax

11-09-2015, 04:09 AM

Helene2013

11-09-2015, 04:34 AM

I thought Pax that when you were moving to Florida it was for retirement. Sorry you are having a hard time finding a job. :(

Pax

11-09-2015, 05:02 AM

I thought Pax that when you were moving to Florida it was for retirement. Sorry you are having a hard time finding a job. :(
My retirement (early since I'm only 55) was hoped for but my pension is tied up by being on my wife's benefits. If I draw now I lose my high quality affordable health insurance.

Helene2013

11-09-2015, 05:15 AM

ah. What a bummer.

ny biker

11-09-2015, 12:26 PM

You have no idea how complicated that was -- you said flat-out you didn't believe me when I told you it would take a lot of work. You have no idea how much effort I put into it. And we sailed through the customer demo with no problems.

You're welcome.

emily_in_nc

11-09-2015, 12:30 PM

That's where I'm at here, having zero luck finding a job so giving some thought to finding a program that might offer better opportunities... but I just don't have the mental energy anymore.

I totally feel ya, Pax! I am taking online Spanish lessons, and even that is enough for me. I just can't imagine going back to school for anything significant at this point, and I'm "only" 54. "That ship has done sailed," as they say in the south! :D

I also get the health insurance thing. DH and I are living on such little income now (by choice) that we qualify for an extremely good and low-cost ACA plan (silver with cost sharing). We are toying with the idea of buying a nice RV next year, but if we do so, we have to take money out of one of our retirement accounts (which we haven't touched yet), thus increasing our income and having to pay a lot more for health insurance premiums, plus more out of pocket for any care we might need. It's a real dilemma, and we have to decide by Dec. 15th. Since we like living kinda spontaneously at this point in our lives, having to decide what we are going to do mid-next year is challenging.

Ah well, I am not complaining. We are super fortunate to be early retired and not have to work, and I don't take that for granted for a minute.

I wish you well in your job hunt!

smilingcat

11-10-2015, 08:27 AM

Hi Pax,

I know the feeling well. I "lost" my job back in 2010. People were still not hiring. Long story short, I decided to pull myself up by the boot strap and decided to farm.

I already knew lot about growing/gardening and was pretty good at it. And rather then waiting to burn through my limited funds, I jumped into farming. If it doesn't pan out, I can sell the farm property and get my money back out and only thing I lose is the sweat equity I put into it. Meanwhile I get to eat really fresh and high quality produce.

See what you are good at and something you like. And see how you could turn it into a money making venture. It doesn't have to be big. Just so that there is some money coming in. Far better than no money coming in.

If you need to break into something, start volunteering first to get your foot in the door.

Pax

11-10-2015, 11:35 AM

I started volunteering at the local marine discovery center last week, it's interesting and allows me to network a bit as most of the volunteers are younger retirees who know lots of people in town. If I wasn't so limited by this crappy knee I'd have so many more jobs to look at.

rebeccaC

11-10-2015, 12:17 PM

it's interesting and allows me to network a bit as most of the volunteers are younger retirees who know lots of people in town.

....and, if it's like the MDC in Santa Cruz here, help with environmental community stewardship work too :) hoping you meet some new interesting people!!!!

Pax

11-18-2015, 03:59 AM

....and, if it's like the MDC in Santa Cruz here, help with environmental community stewardship work too :) hoping you meet some new interesting people!!!!

Did my first day and really enjoyed it, met the executive director and mentioned I'd like to learn to work with the live exhibits, so he set up a training class for next Monday... I get to work with the sharks and turtles, and... Yay!

Helene2013

11-18-2015, 04:24 AM

Lucky you Pax...enjoy it and hoping it takes you to a paying job. :)

Pax

11-18-2015, 05:32 AM

Thanks, Helene. Sure is nice to have someplace to be once in a while.

ny biker

11-18-2015, 12:06 PM

Did my first day and really enjoyed it, met the executive director and mentioned I'd like to learn to work with the live exhibits, so he set up a training class for next Monday... I get to work with the sharks and turtles, and... Yay!

Wow! Best of luck with your new endeavor.

Pax

11-18-2015, 12:43 PM

Wow! Best of luck with your new endeavor.

It's a tiny little facility, but the displays are top notch, I imagine I'll learn a lot. And it's great getting out of the house and meeting new people.

emily_in_nc

11-19-2015, 01:03 PM

That's very cool, Pax. Sounds like an interesting gig!

Catrin

11-19-2015, 02:32 PM

Sounds like fun Pax! May the current crappy knee relent, but until then I'm glad you've found this nice gig that is both interesting and you get to network!

Pax

11-19-2015, 04:37 PM

Yeah, hanging out with the creatures is a big plus, fascinating all.

smilingcat

11-19-2015, 09:21 PM

How exciting!! It's one of those dream jobs where you get to pet animals that regular people never get to touch. I'm definitely envious.

Pax

11-20-2015, 04:33 AM

How exciting!! It's one of those dream jobs where you get to pet animals that regular people never get to touch. I'm definitely envious.

It's just a volunteer slot, but it's really fun any which way!

Xrayted

12-02-2015, 08:24 AM

Dear seller, thank you for putting this lovely little home up for sale at a really decent price. Thank you to my partner's real estate friend for letting us know the place was being offered because we got to see it before the pictures were even taken or the ad was put online. We fell in love as we walked up to it. There was no doubt it was what we were waiting for all of this time. No compromise, just perfect as is. Thank you to the boring mortgage people who are really damn good at what they do and got this financed earlier than we ever expected. My closing is just over 2 weeks out and I'm already fully okayed for the loan. Thank you to the seller for removing the wood stove insert that was too old to be certified. I was willing to pay the dude to take it but you graciously did it in time for the bank appraiser to sign off. To the underwriter, I have no damn idea what you actually do, but what ever it was, you did good. A one day turn around on that part blew my mind. If I knew what beer you like, I'd drop off a case after we close.

Thank you to my honey for being the most incredible person I've ever met in my life. You are amazing and loving and giving and I don't ever have to worry about anything. You are a hero in many ways to many people. Being a female paramedic firefighter, you see your responsibility to young girls to show them that you can do that traditionally male career as well or better than your male crew. Those guys treasure having you on their team and you are highly respected. You have been so incredible this entire time. Your ethics and integrity shine through in every part of your life and I love that about you. Your two boys are fantastic young men and you are bringing them up to be sensitive and tolerant to all people, not just those who are like them. In a small town, that can be hard to do but you go out of your way to guide them down that better path. Even the dog is cool. I've practically thrown my arm off with that border collie over the past few months. He's getting a special treat for Xmas, a ball launcher. I admit, it's as much for me as it is for him but he doesn't need to know that. He just needs to know that he's a good boy and is loved and he now has a job of fetching a ball instead of herding my 2 cats who, I must say, have been very tolerant. But... I can see the girl is about to take one of his eyes out if he doesn't give her a bit more space more often. LOL. So, life is great and I'm happy. Not stressed about the move, just excited to be living at the coast. The commute may be a long one and many wouldn't understand why I'd drive all of that way, but it's through a rain forest and not during rush hour traffic. I start later in the day so I can take time to hang with you and the kids in the mornings, drop them at school, take the dog to the beach for an hour of fetch and then head to work. And when I get home, after a 90 min drive through the rain forest, after all of the traumas I deal with all day at work, I'm decompressed and ready to crawl into bed next to my girl with a good attitude. I'll be able to hear the ocean out the window, feel the evening breezes, have a tiny but cozy home full of love. That's worth more than any amount of money.

Pax

12-02-2015, 09:41 AM

Oh HELL yeah!!

rebeccaC

12-02-2015, 11:48 AM

That just made my day even happier, ”cozy home full of love” indeed!!!!!!
….and it made me think about designing eyepatches/goggles for border collie’s who have a herding the cats problem :D

eta...and your response made me laugh pax........:)

VeganBikeChick

12-02-2015, 03:27 PM

xr, your home, life, and commute sound like a dream. Congrats.

Blueberry

12-03-2015, 04:17 AM

Yay XRayted - so, so happy for you! :)

Catrin

12-03-2015, 04:22 AM

Very big smile from reading this, so glad for you!

azfiddle

12-03-2015, 04:49 AM

Great story, happy beginnings!

Trek420

12-03-2015, 07:54 AM

….and it made me think about designing eyepatches/goggles for border collie’s who have a herding the cats problem :D

Ooh, can you make them puggle sized for small dogs with a Napolean complex?

Dear xrayted, congratulations on your new home (and love life). Wonderful!

ny biker

12-03-2015, 12:24 PM

Thank you for sharing, xrayted. I hope you and your family have many happy years in your new home.

Xrayted

12-03-2015, 01:28 PM

I may have to take you up on those doggy goggles if this launcher doesn't work. But I've never met a border collie who wasn't obsessed with a ball and this guy is no exception. He had dogs at the beach barking and growling at him and he was just keeping his eye on that ball in my hand. No other person or dog existed. Lol. He's such a sweetheart. :D

He was left at her ex's house to be a companion to the boys when they are over there but ex decided to keep him outside on a concrete pad in 20 degree temps, then decided to not feed him or bathe him or let him out of the kennel. She found out through the kids that he was doing that and went right over and rescued him. No asking permission, just took the dog and brought him home. She and her dad cut the huge matted chunks of grunge and feces off of him and took him to a doggy wash. Then in one day, he went from an outside farm dog to an inside family dog. He was still a bit stinky and scratching like crazy because he had so many hot spots so we used clippers on him and took a ton of hair off of him so we could really get down to his skin and then bathed him again. Added a few days of Benedryl, some hydrocortizone cream and better food without grains or fillers. He feels so much better now. He's such a happy dog with his boys and his moms taking care of him. Somehow, he ended up with tons of turkey over Thanksgiving. :rolleyes:

It only took 2 days to get the launcher once I ordered it. I ordered it Monday and it got to my house Weds. I'm impressed with the company. It's a really good product. Go check out videos for GoDogGo ball launcher. That thing is worth the $$. I'm going over there in a few minutes to give him his Xmas gift a bit early. He will still have some toys and bones to open but this can't wait. He's going to flip out. UPS I'm not so happy with... they put the box out on my deck with no roof instead of my front door which has a roof over it. So, the whole thing got soaked from the heavy rain we had. I have no idea why they did that. I checked it over and it seems to be okay. Time to go see if Buddy likes his gift. Have a great night, TE. I miss you ladies a lot.

rebeccaC

12-05-2015, 09:06 PM

Thinking Buddy is happy to be a loved inside family dog on this journey of his.

Ooh, can you make them puggle sized for small dogs with a Napolean complex?

not goggles but might this work?
https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5672/22924523364_ebec7c6953_z.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/AVLb7Q)

:)

smilingcat

12-07-2015, 08:36 PM

Too cute to be Napoleon besides, I think he is part of admiralty ;)

Dear handyman who had installed the microwave before we bought this house and to the manufacturer of the microwave.

Two wrongs do make it right some time. It's been a few month when the microwave that came with the house went ZZZZ ZAP FLASH then HUGE KABOOM. Replacement for it was fairly low on the list of things as we had super cheap counter top micro. We only use to heat our drinks, and thaw out or to remove chill from left overs...

Black Friday and Cyber Monday came with some descent deals so we bought a new one. We weren't too particular about the features so it made it easy to pick. Came home from big box store. Removed the old micro over the range, installed the mounting bracket for the new one. Then I pulled out the new micro out of the box. Funny thing??? Top right side had weird curve to it. It was crushed. Remove the new mounting bracket, return the crushed unit to the box store for a replacement. But none available in stock so they would have to order it with delivery charge... No thanks. So found another unit for the same price but it didn't have the features of the crushed unit. Power down feature would have been very nice but oh well.

Came home with the second micro. This time I took it out of the box and made sure it was intact and all the pieces there and it was.

Now about the handyman who had installed the last one. He had swiss cheesed the shelf over the micro because well god knows why? I couldn't use it so I had demo it out and install a new shelf. Pre-cut the opening for the vent, plug hole, mounting hole and installed. Installed cabinets are not square. :( so had to cut the shelf crooked to fit in the cabinet. made sure the shelf I installed was level left to right and front to back.

And the vent duct work. What a piece of wood work. Demo'd it out too. And I see why there was so much draft coming into the house. BTW, the broken microwave had the vent fan installed all wrong and it was set to vent into the room and not through the vent duct out of the top.

The replacement micro has the same exterior dimension so it was easy to line up the new mounting brackets. popped in the micro and raised it into place. :( :( :( The micro is tilted down on the front side by over an half an inch. Now that we think about it, it explains why the old microwave door flung open. bottom of the mounting bracket is butted up to splash board granite tile. Tried cutting with my angle grinder/saw and it just ate threw the abrasive saw. Didn't want to hammer out the tile... Long story short, I managed to mount the bracket 1/2" lower, install the microwave into place. level left to right and now its about 3/32" low in the back.

So had the micro not blow up, we would never have figured out that it was installed incorrectly. Handyman's handywork was so bad, I didn't have to think about how to make it work. It was back to the drawing board. As for the vent duct work, I think I will make it out of 1/16" thick aluminum (I happen to have sizeable sheets of it).

So now, the door doesn't fly open. Venting actually will vent to the outside, have a shelf over the micro that we can actually use. Everything is now right well except for not being quite level front to back. YAYYY!!!

So appliances either fixed or replace since my teenage days: dryer (repaired several times over), washer (repaired once or twice) dishwasher (repaired once), replaced at least half a dozen garbage disposal, install brand new sink with new faucets, replaced counter top stove, garage door opener (repaired once) and now replaced microwave. Then there was the complete rewiring of my parents house, complete rebuild of my partners deck at her house. I had to demo all of the deck including the footing.

Who says women can't do these things? Whooey to them. I'm a happy camper for now.

Pax

12-08-2015, 03:36 AM

Impressive work, Brava!!

My dad was a contractor, he charged extra when he had to work in spaces previously "remodeled", he knew that 90% of the time it would be a fiasco of dealing with prior poor/shoddy/dangerous work.

Crankin

12-08-2015, 04:09 AM

This sounds like some of the things my DH has found while remodeling our condo. While the construction and walls between the units are great (and not done this way anymore), the electrical and plumbing was done in several weird ways, only apparent when the walls were knocked out. Then there was the day that he went over there, just to drop some stuff off. While in the basement, he heard some crackling.Turns out the breakers were done all wrong, and it is very likely our new house would have burned down, before we moved in. He fixed that and several other things, but a couple of these things required an electrician or plumber.

rebeccaC

12-08-2015, 05:23 AM

Who says women can't do these things?

Not me :)

Growing up I had a neighbor with a nice wood working shop and I’d spend time helping him when I was a teen. His wife also taught me pottery and bronze casting.
The second summer of undergraduate school I bought an older house with a friend and we remolded it, including some structural/code issues, into two units. After building a good rental history we sold it to pay for graduate school and living expenses. I did enjoy the work, the process and the profit. As much as I enjoyed that learning experience, I’m also glad I bought into a recently built building when I got to the L.A. area. Maybe later in life I’ll have the time to do the designing, building or remolding thing again but just normal maintenance works better for me now….

Too cute to be Napoleon besides, I think he is part of admiralty ;) .
that looks like napoleon’s cockade on the bicorne but yeah bicorne’s were also worn in a lot of the militaries back then and especially in France. :)

Crankin

12-08-2015, 05:38 AM

My mom did all the repair work around the house. She once fixed my disposal after she had tried to put artichoke leaves down there, and there was green liquid gushing out from under the sink.

Me, I take after my dad.

VeganBikeChick

12-08-2015, 08:41 AM

I have no repair talent whatsoever; I can barely put new windshield wipers on my car without help. So I'm envious of all you DIYers.

Pax

12-08-2015, 11:01 AM

I have no repair talent whatsoever; I can barely put new windshield wipers on my car without help. So I'm envious of all you DIYers.

Don't feel bad, I can build a chunk of a house by myself but I can't change my wiper blades either. :p

ny biker

12-08-2015, 05:09 PM

I can do simple things, especially now that there always seems to be a youtube video to help. In my car I've replaced bulbs for tail lights, the cabin and engine air filters and the front and back wiper blades. I'm usually good at putting together furniture that requires at-home assembly, and am quite proud of my ability to put together bookcases and bedframes by myself even though you really need four hands to get it right. I once used six packs of Diet Coke to hold up the sides of two new bookcases so I could attach the bottom pieces to them. I was able to replace all the door knobs in my condo except for a couple where the holes were not properly drilled in the doors. I replaced most of the door hinges, too.

I wanted to replace all the electrical outlets and light switches by myself, and even posted here about it (years ago). But I couldn't get past the thought that everything would seem to be working fine but really something would be wrong and then the whole place would burn down. So I hired an electrician. Once I tried to put up new curtain rods, but I couldn't get them straight. Finally I called a friend who's really handy, the son of a plumber, and he put them up for me. He made it look so easy.

I tried to paint my kitchen cabinets when I first moved into my condo but I made a mess and didn't like the way they turned out. Luckily I found a good contractor to renovate the kitchen and bathroom -- with new custom cabinets in both rooms. The painters who did the other rooms and replaced all the door trim and base boards were a disaster -- they did a terrible job and dripped paint on my furniture.

I've enjoyed getting into the details of the kitchen and bathroom work, with the cabinet diagrams and the tile designs. But I didn't inherit a natural ability to actually do the work. I would figure it out eventually, I think, but would have to fix too many mistakes and probably a few disasters along the way. And I don't have the patience for that.

Crankin

12-09-2015, 03:58 AM

Pax

12-09-2015, 04:53 AM

I think it's all in the way we process information and the way we see the world. My wife can't put air in a bike tire, seriously; she is a highly educated and intelligent woman but no matter how many times I've shown her, she just can't get air in... and manages to let all remaining air out. She can, however, sit and learn a computer program in a very short time. I can stare at the same thing all day and it's like trying to read something written in Cyrillic. We're a good balance. :D

ny biker

12-09-2015, 08:00 AM

Dear hormones:

Enough with the hot flashes and the migraines and the water retention weight gain so I can't fit into any of my jeans anymore. Just go away. I'm so sick of you.

ny biker

12-09-2015, 09:43 AM

Blueprints and diagrams look like a jumble of shapes to me. I really cannot read them. Nor, can I follow instructions or diagrams to put together anything. Sometimes I can learn by watching someone, but it would have to be in person. Watching You Tube has the same effect on me as trying to read directions, when it's to do with assembling stuff.
This is why I don't do any of this stuff. It got me into trouble when we remodeled our kitchen and bathrooms, because I was shown plans, and said "fine," and in the end I was stunned when I saw the way the cabinets were in the bathroom. Looking at those plans gave me no clue. I get agitated just having to deal with this stuff.
Not that I don't like nice things!

It took some time for me to figure out the cabinet diagrams for my kitchen, but I was glad I did. The contractors left out a spacer in the corner, and the result was that I couldn't open one of the cabinet doors. I was glad that I was able to figure out the problem and the solution before calling the contractor -- it made the fix much easier and faster.

But of course there are plenty of other things that agitate me! I so wish I had an executive assistant to keep my life organized for me. For starters I would like someone to go online and get all my health insurance EOBs for the year, figure out why the FSA people are accusing me of trying to use my funds illegally again even though I only ever use them for doctors, prescriptions and contacts, and get reimbursed for all the copays that have been building up for months. And call the insurance company or FSA company as needed to resolve any issues. If someone would just take care of that for me, it would be awesome.

Crankin

12-09-2015, 12:29 PM

shootingstar

12-09-2015, 03:48 PM

I guess I make up for my lack of visual-spatial and fine motor skills by being very organized and verbal. I don't like doing the stuff you mentioned, and DH always is on those thigs immediately, but I know what to do and how to handle it. I seriously don't know how some of the people I work with survive. They don't do their notes and are months behind in treatment plan reviews. Of course, it's the director's fault that she allows this. We went to electronic medical records last week and now it's going to be a little more in your face if you haven't done stuff. They refuse to do work at home (where I do everything, except my notes, which I do immediately after each person), and now we can do it without getting permission to be on the server or breaking HIPPA laws.
OK, that's my rant.

I'm not very good at repairing physical things. I hated doing puzzles that involved 1,000 pieces. But I have to remind myself that sewing, viewed as somehow "lesser" because it maybe not as dirty work /involving infrastructure parts, is also quite technical with abit of artistic vision thrown in. For the several decades, I wondered why my mother would choose boring, bland colours to sew garments. Yet, she could draft simple garments without using a pattern OR use a complex sewing pattern without her ability to read English and create a well-fitted garment for other people of different sizes and shapes. Or take an existing garment, rip up nearly half it up and create a completely different style. That too is technical ability. I have strong sewing skills but not like my mother's.

I'm different, I do have natural artistic ease /tendency to compose visuals, layouts from complementary shapes, colours and natural using the Golden Mean for aesthetically pleasing proportion of space. My mother doesn't really have this. But she has natural mathematical skill which will never be fully realized. She would do certain calculations in her head while my father watched, waiting for her to spit out the numbers. Yes, my father was more artistically inclined..again never fully realized. It reflected in his interests also.

Amazing how we just have to see natural abilities/skills in others in a way/totally different light that requires several ....decades of understanding.

Only recently I've come to realize that I honestly think creatively in a non-linear way as well as linear, simultaneously. This skill/style has become accentuated because of my jobs in past few decades... You would not believe it, but some reference librarians have to sharpen simultaneously analytical/logical thinking PLUS creative, non-linear thinking to help clients....within a matter of a few minutes.

The end result is me is spouting off thoughts that sometimes jump off into another direction suddenly.... :p I love interdisciplinary thinking, cross-fertilization of subject matters for something new/ a solution.

rebeccaC

12-09-2015, 07:47 PM

I've enjoyed getting into the details of the kitchen and bathroom work, with the cabinet diagrams and the tile designs. But I didn't inherit a natural ability to actually do the work. I would figure it out eventually, I think, but would have to fix too many mistakes and probably a few disasters along the way. And I don't have the patience for that.
When I was helping the wood worker he wanted me to see the design of what was being built and went through the sequence of steps to the end…..and then he would let me help him on the project. He taught me to think through beginning to end, a few times, before I start….and to expect the unexpected but with a positive attitude. The planning part did help a lot on the remodel we did though.……still mistakes, but hey I just adjusted and learned, well sometimes maybe with a flash of crazy too

rebeccaC

12-12-2015, 08:32 PM

Dear Michael….it’ll be interesting to see if your attitude changes because of this…..i doubt it but there is always hope.

I was doing some work in San Onofre this past week. Michael is one of the people I work with each time I come. He’s the ‘and why aren’t you attracted to me’ type with overtones of misogyny…..and why someone would think that’s a good attitude escapes me. He talked a few times about his bicycling prowess after I told him I ride a little bit…..long story short he actually wanted to race me on a 12 mile stretch of a really nice quiet side road along the coast starting at the work site. After a few taunts over the last few times there I finally said sure and this time I brought my bike and we did it. I had enough time at the finish to drink some water and do some stretches before he showed up. I was gracious and kind in thanking him for the challenge.

i'm kinda glad this contract is finished in January

IBrakeforPastry

12-13-2015, 03:50 AM

Love it, Rebecca! You brought a smile (gracious, not taunting, I hope) to my face this morning. Okay, I'm actually giggling.

Pax

12-13-2015, 04:27 AM

That is flat out funny, good job Rebecca!

ny biker

12-31-2015, 05:51 PM

Dear downstairs neighbor,

I'm in my living room, as far as I can be from my bathroom, and the smoke from your barbecue grill under my bathroom window is burning my throat despite having the door closed since before you started cooking. I'm pretty sure your grill location violates local law, and I've decided to rat you out.

laura*

01-02-2016, 11:42 PM

Dear MacBook:
If you had told me your hard drive was failing, I could have ordered a replacement SSD weeks ago. And started backups to my new Time Capsule.

PS If you had told me how bad things are, I could have paid Amazon to hurry up. But I see that you are still in denial: You still claim the S.M.A.R.T. status is "verified". That's not very smart!

lph

01-06-2016, 12:17 PM

Awesome story, rebeccaC |-D What was he actually expecting, anyway... to beat you, and you be all impressed and happy about it?

rebeccaC

01-07-2016, 10:55 AM

for me it was just about riding a really hard effort on a nice scenic road without much traffic...he was kinda irrelevant....
I see the ‘Michael’s’ as helping me learn more about dealing with the separation of personality and work…..works for me :)

Dear El Nino

After two days of commuting in cold very windy rain your beginning is noted.
I’ve got a feeling your going to give me some interesting rides this winter. Looking forward to the adventures! After my ride home yesterday though I was thinking I’m going to need lots of chocolate for the hot chocolates that will be needed to get through this. I’ll send you the receipts for reimbursement.

rebecca

ny biker

01-07-2016, 11:02 AM

Dear El Nino

After two days of commuting in cold very windy rain your beginning is noted.
I’ve got a feeling your going to give me some interesting rides this winter. Looking forward to the adventures! After my ride home yesterday though I was thinking I’m going to need lots of chocolate for the hot chocolates that will be needed to get through this. I’ll send you the receipts for reimbursement.

rebecca

Indeed. I saw video of flooded highways in southern California on the news. I hope they're getting the word out to not try to drive on flooded roads -- all sorts of bad things can happen.

Perhaps TE still has some good rain gear in stock? You can probably get a good deal if they haven't moved to the new warehouse yet.

rebeccaC

01-07-2016, 11:51 AM

Some areas of southern ca are going to have problems with a lot of rain over a few days like what happens during an el nino winter, especially those areas that also had fire damage last summer. The areas I live/travel in/work/ride in have a good infrastructure to deal with it though. I have some good rain gear and kinda welcome the different riding these next few months might bring…..and the center of a good storm can have a couple days of great riding!!!!

I’m sure the rei's here are doing well in selling rain gear this year :)….and we need to think a little more about the bike room at work :eek:

eta
Indeed. I hope they're getting the word out to not try to drive on flooded roads -- all sorts of bad things can happen.
as i rode to work the first morning i actually was remembering how deep some of the pot-holes, especially the alley ones, were :)

Crankin

01-07-2016, 01:38 PM

Talked to my brother in San Diego. It's bad there... thankfully, his home is OK, but one street away, flooding, 2 feet of water running in the street and into driveways.
We had "100 year" floods 2 years in a row, in Phoenix, in 1979 and 1980. It was hell. The bridge over 1-10 was washed out, I had to leave for work at 5 AM and leave an hour early to get home in 2-3 hours, for 6 weeks, the second time. The first year, I lived/worked on the same side of the river (normally a dry wash), but I couldn't go anywhere else, including to my parents' 4 miles away, outside of Tempe. I hope the infrastructure is better today because the rain is heading east.

azfiddle

01-09-2016, 05:36 AM

I remember those Crankin- I wasn't living in Phoenix but worked on the Colorado River as a field biologist and we would go over to Tempe where our project was based- trying to get around to get paperwork done before a birding trip to Mexico and I remember it was a mess.

OakLeaf

01-13-2016, 02:59 PM

Yeah, be careful with those potholes. I have a friend who broke his neck at the very end of a ride when he hit a pothole filled with water, not realizing how deep it was. Very thankfully the fracture was non-displaced and he's back to 100%.

ny biker

01-13-2016, 05:03 PM

Dear me:

Put the laptop down! Get your a$$ out of the comfy chair and get changed and set up the bike on the indoor trainer and do some pedaling! NOW!!!

Pax

01-14-2016, 01:03 AM

Dear me:

Put the laptop down! Get your a$$ out of the comfy chair and get changed and set up the bike on the indoor trainer and do some pedaling! NOW!!!

Did it work? :D

snapdragen

01-14-2016, 10:58 AM

Dear cancer. Go to hell.

Rest well David Bowie and Alan Rickman

Pax

01-14-2016, 11:37 AM

Dear Snap,

Well said.

ny biker

01-14-2016, 12:28 PM

Did it work? :D

Yes!

azfiddle

01-18-2016, 02:51 PM

Dear jerk who stole my bike-

You were pretty brazen to steel a bike in broad daylight on busy street in front of a business! Yeah, my insurance will cover a new bike, but whoever you are, it's pretty low. Yeah, I know it was my fault to leave a road bike there for 10 minutes, and I should have brought it into the See's Candy store with me even though it had big windows and I checked on it once. Once I get over being mad at myself for being complacent and at you for stealing my bike, I might get excited about buying a new bike- but I'm not there yet.
https://farm1.staticflickr.com/355/18555918263_2d653b4339_k.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/ugHW2e)Untitled (https://flic.kr/p/ugHW2e) by Sharon Goldwasser (https://www.flickr.com/photos/133571926@N02/), on Flickr

Ms. Speedwell, I'm going to miss you.

Blueberry

01-18-2016, 03:16 PM

Dear Azfiddle - I'm so sorry. Let yourself off the hook. Hopefully this perspective (http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2015/12/08/lessons-learned-from-having-my-bike-stolen/) might help. Spoiler: his bike wasn't stolen. But still - being too careful can significantly interfere with you quality of life.

And also - make sure to call local shops, police, pawn shops, check craigs, etc. You know the drill.

Dear Bike Thieves - You suck. So much.

OakLeaf

01-18-2016, 04:04 PM

Ugh, azfiddle. That stinks. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

VeganBikeChick

01-18-2016, 04:43 PM

I'm sorry, Azfiddle. I've been a victim too. It's such a violation. Hugs.

emily_in_nc

01-19-2016, 05:17 AM

D*mn! So sorry, azfiddle. She was a real beauty. That was brazen, and low. :mad: :(

azfiddle

01-19-2016, 06:35 AM

Blueberry

01-19-2016, 08:18 AM

It's only a thing- not what really matters in life, but the 2016 models are not nearly as pretty. Plain vanilla white or charcoal gray with pink. I might look at other brands, although I know the Ruby was a great fit for me.

I wonder if Wahine could help you? As I recall, she is a guru at figuring out which bikes will work based on measurements - maybe she could tell you what's similar?

rebeccaC

01-19-2016, 08:56 AM

Sharon....the emotions connected to a theft aren’t fun to go through. I had a bike stolen when I was in college and for a couple of days I had thoughts ranging from wanting to stab the thief in the liver to just hoping they take good care of the bike I spent so much time and savings to build up to be exactly what I wanted/needed. Be thankful you have insurance coverage and can get a new bike soon!!!!! It took me too long a time to save the money to build up a good replacement for my brevet addiction at the time.

I have a hidden gps/gms tracker on my seven and waterford so if a thief can actually get past the lock that can help in finding them.

salsabike

01-19-2016, 09:08 AM

I have a hidden gps/gms tracker on my seven and waterford so if a thief can actually get past the lock that can help in finding them.

Rebecca--can you tell us a little more about this? Sounds interesting.

azfiddle

01-19-2016, 12:58 PM

I'd like to know about the gps tracker too.

azfiddle

01-19-2016, 07:18 PM

Dear Allstate claims agent:

Thank you so much for all you did to get my claim settled so quickly, and for explaining to the adjustors that cycling was so important to me so that they agreed to send the full replacement amount up front. I am starting to get excited about a new bike!

salsabike

01-19-2016, 07:36 PM

Wow! That is amazing.

Pax

01-20-2016, 04:19 AM

An insurance company doing the right thing??? Kinda blows my mind.

Eden

01-20-2016, 05:28 AM

An insurance company doing the right thing??? Kinda blows my mind.

Gotta say Allstate does seem to be OK… I got rear ended (not seriously thankfully) a couple of months ago and the person who hit me had them for insurance. I've had zero hassles with the claim. They made it very easy.

azfiddle

01-20-2016, 10:19 AM

I am tempted to just go with another Specialized Ruby because I know it fits me. My stolen bike was a 44cm. I went to the Trek store yesterday where my friend works and he put me on a 47 to try (on a trainer). We moved the seat as far forward as possible and swapped out the 90 mm stem for a 70 stem and I still felt like I wanted to be slightly further forward. That said, I rode a 47 cm Trek Lexa in Ireland for 10 days and it was set up according to the measurements from my bike fit on the Ruby- and it felt right from the start.

So I may take a look at a few other bikes - but no one ever has 44 cm frames in stock for me to try :(

azfiddle

01-20-2016, 06:03 PM

Thanks- that link was quite interesting- the comparison chart especially.

OakLeaf

01-20-2016, 06:05 PM

I've had very positive claims experiences with Allstate also, both moto and car. But, several years after my last claim (long enough that I was confident that wasn't the reason, it was just the customer churn that insurance companies like to do), they jacked my premiums up so high I really had no choice but to switch. I could've bought a new bike (motorized or non) just with what I've saved in premiums. Progressive has a good reputation, but I was and still am nervous about switching to a company that I don't have any claims experience with.

Anyway it sucks it had to happen, but enjoy the bike shopping.

rebeccaC

01-26-2016, 04:52 PM

Rebecca--can you tell us a little more about this? Sounds interesting.

I'd like to know about the gps tracker too.

just saw this....I use a tracker called Spybike. It’s made in the U. K. and I bought it last year in France. It fits into the steerer tube so you can’t tell it’s on the bike. Using a sim card it also communicates with your phone for configuration, movement warnings, battery levels etc. They were going to release one that fits inside a seat post. Don’t know if they have yet. It did take me awhile to figure out the best configuration. I only have to charge the lithium battery every two months+ to keep me in the range of 4-5 months of battery use. I’ve done test tracks a couple of times on rides into the santa monica mountains, to my office and back home and to a friends house.

There is a Portland woman, Kris Akins, who is developing one called Bike Trak, which I heard will have one model designed to fit in the handlebars. It will probably be a good one according to a friend in Portland who knows about the development of it. Akins is also doing an app that will let police officers see a pop-up on their in-car computer or smartphones when a Bike Trak equipped bike registered as stolen is within 500 yards and can then help zero in on it.

Dear Michael

I prefer saying ‘independently owned and operated’ to your saying my marital status was ‘single looking for a husband’
Thankfully…no, make that I’m grateful….this contract is now FINISHED…….

YAY :D

azfiddle

01-26-2016, 06:36 PM

Thanks- cool information on the tracking devices.

Crankin

01-27-2016, 03:24 AM

We've had excellent service from Progressive. Our rates even went down, despite the fact the Commonwealth thinks I am a bad driver, because I had 2 incidents in 3 years (one a parking lot fender bender). Unfortunately, one of the tickets was really 2 tickets, so I got to go to "bad driver" school, with the scum of the earth last summer. The teacher, who I am sure is used to dealing with the worst of society (she mentioned that she has had to have police escort people out of the room) did not believe me when I said I have a preferred driver rate from Progressive, and then she went on to tell me that I have to have high insurance rates, because I live in Concord.

ny biker

01-28-2016, 09:18 PM

Dear person who invented mail order pharmacies::

I hate you.

I have waited weeks to get a prescription that I need in order to breathe. Delays delays delays. You won't ship the prescription because it's more than $100 so you need payment but I have no idea that you need payment so I expected it to be shipped already. Then you chose the ridiculous DHL - USPS method of shipping which takes twice as long as normal packages. Then the stupid blizzard hit and that delayed things more. Now I find out through the tracking information that the post office claims to have left notice for me because my mailbox is blocked. Well my mailbox is not blocked and there's no notice anywhere. They are trying to deliver it to the wrong address. I don't even know if my local post office has it or if it's in another state somewhere. When I call the ^**%$%^&* pharmacy they say in the most patronizing voice possible that if the post office can't find it they will "investigate" and meanwhile I will be allowed to ask my doctor to send the prescription to retail pharmacy but of course tomorrow is Friday so by the time I reach the doctor it will be sometime next week. Did I mention I need this medicine to breathe?

And can I please go just one day without something going wrong?????????

Crankin

01-29-2016, 03:31 AM

I feel for you, NY. I stopped using mail order for my 2 meds. DH uses it for his Crestor, but that's it. I hope you get it resolved, the snow melts, and you feel better.

Catrin

01-29-2016, 03:30 PM

Ugh, sorry to read this NY. I also use mail order, and so far have only had a problem once with it. Quite frankly THEY should have contacted your local pharmacy to get you something today. Grrrrrrr

OakLeaf

01-30-2016, 07:37 AM

Ugh NYB. Surely hoping that your string of bad luck is over.

FWIW, if your meds are generic, sometimes you can even save money by buying them at a retail pharmacy. For me, with generic meds, even though I have to pay the insurance company's premium, to me it's worth the small monthly cost to support my local independent pharmacy (and I pretty much break even anyway, when I combine the meds that cost less than my mail-order co-pay with the ones that cost more). Most likely, your pharmacy can tell you the retail price for maintenance meds under your plan. My insurance company's website says only that they'll charge me more for buying at retail - nowhere does it say how much. But brand name drugs are another thing. I won't go mail-order unless I have to, but I switched from prescription to OTC eye drops because my cost to buy them retail is triple the mail order price (way more than it was in 2014), and I only learned that by refilling them that last time. :mad: :(

ny biker

01-31-2016, 10:56 AM

Many years ago, when I was in college in Philadelphia, I took a break from studying one afternoon and went shopping at Wanamaker's department store. While there I ran into our marching band director, a talented man who also directed several other musical groups on campus and also loved to cook. I remember he said to me, "When the going gets tough, the tough buy Cuisinarts."

Well I am not a cook. But after the emotionally exhausting experience of scaling the Great Wall of Postal Apathy to find the one person at the post office who was able to understand that the mail carrier was trying to deliver my package to the wrong address and that it contained medicine rather than something frivolous, I needed a giant dose of helpful people. So after work on Friday I went for the best kind of retail therapy. First I went to the Whole Foods near my office to stock up on yogurt. The cashiers there are always very friendly. Then I went to my LBS where I bought a clip-on fender for my mountain bike and a new Camelback bottle. I also enjoyed a nice chat with the owner. Then I went to the Container Store to look for a new tote bag or gear bag or something to keep my stash of extra jackets, tights and other layers for winter rides. For fall, winter and early spring rides I've been using a giant clear plastic bag to bring various extra clothes with me to the ride start so I can make last-minute additions or changes depending on weather conditions. But the bag is starting to tear and I would like to replace it with something more breathable. After wandering around the store several times and chatting with one of the friendly people working there, I chose a very large nylon tote bag
in a cheerful orange pattern. Then to make it easier to find small things like arm warmers and neck gaitors I chose a small nylon laundry bag from the travel section. I went with blue with orange polka dots for that. My plan is to keep the smaller bag inside the larger one. A more structured duffle bag with multiple sections would probably work a bit better but I really didn't want to spend that much money. And the colors of my new bags make me smile.

Dear Claude, I haven't seen you in decades but I hope you are doing well and enjoying a life full of music and good food. The way you arranged the songs we played taught me so much about music, the depth and layers and ways it could convey different meanings through something as simple as a tempo change. Thank you.

Crankin

01-31-2016, 01:12 PM

He sounds like an awesome guy. DS #1 was in band for years (gr. 5-12), and at his senior banquet, he gave the HS band director a huge hug. I think he meant it, too, but the guy was surprised.
I am glad you had a good experience at the container store. I have never been there, and next weekend we are going to go there, to go get organizers for the bathrooms in the condo. DH and I are going to use separate bathrooms, except for when we have guests, of course, as we are so used to having double sinks, after 20+years of that.

emily_in_nc

02-01-2016, 12:52 PM

DH and I are going to use separate bathrooms, except for when we have guests, of course, as we are so used to having double sinks, after 20+years of that.

You will love having separate bathrooms. We had that in our apartment in Mexico, and even though they weren't luxurious by any means, it was luxurious just having our own space. Of course we're back to one tiny bathroom in the motorhome, so I am back to rinsing whiskers from the sink each morning. And sometimes crossing my legs when I need a toilet and he's in there. My DH spends more time in the bathroom than I do!

Crankin

02-01-2016, 04:14 PM

emily_in_nc

02-02-2016, 05:27 AM

Right now we have 3.5 bathrooms. We still use the master bath at the same time, for "getting ready," brushing teeth, etc., as well as tandem showers. Once in awhile, DH will use the shower in the other bathroom on the same floor. It's more vying for the sink space than anything else. Plus, we won't have the storage room we have now. The only time I've ever had to "cross my legs" is when we were in our first apartment. Our first home had 2 bathrooms, no double sinks, and I did use the other bathroom quite a bit. But, we realized we needed to move when we figured out we are really only using the master bath and the half bath 90% of the time!

Yeah, I figured you had plenty of bathrooms in your current home since I know it is not a small house, but many houses are designed such that the master suite is quite separated from the other bathrooms, making them less convenient for use. We have almost always had more than one bathroom in our homes but always both used the master bath for that reason. Our Mexican apartment was unique in that it was small enough that the two bathrooms were right next to each other, so we could each use one without having to walk a mile, especially in the middle of the night! :D That was nice.

Crankin

02-02-2016, 11:16 AM

From DH's side of the bed, the other bathroom now is as close as the master!
However, when we move, I won't make him go downstairs to pee in the middle of the night!

emily_in_nc

02-02-2016, 01:28 PM

From DH's side of the bed, the other bathroom now is as close as the master!
However, when we move, I won't make him go downstairs to pee in the middle of the night!

I would probably fall! :eek: That's one thing I always think about with the tiny houses with lofts. For young folks only. :D

OakLeaf

02-09-2016, 01:54 PM

Dear dentist who thought it was a good idea to pull out half of my bicuspids (you know, the cornerstone of the bite) when I was 11 years old,

My present dentist thanks you from the bottom of his wallet.

#7crownsandcounting

(At least this one is far enough forward that it doesn't get the intense pressure that the molars do, and I can get a porcelain crown instead of another gold one. Thank goodness for small favors.)

emily_in_nc

02-09-2016, 03:23 PM

Oak,

I feel for you. I too had many teeth pulled as a child, including my two "canines" on the bottom. On the top, the teeth behind the canines, plus one other on each side (I don't know the names of them), plus four wisdom teeth. I have a small mouth, and all the original extractions were done for orthodontia; the wisdom teeth later (when I was in college), since the two on the bottom were impacted.

I have a bunch of crowns, several including root canals, an onlay, and fillings in all the teeth (other than the front and canine on the top) that don't have crowns. Crazy! And also crazy expensive! I had to have many early fillings replaced by crowns many years later after cracks developed from the old amalgam expanding. Over time, I had all the amalgams replaced with either porcelain fillings or porcelain crowns, so at least my mouth looks "pretty" when I laugh -- no metal that shows. But it cost a mint!

Crankin

02-10-2016, 08:45 AM

Dear Body,

Nooooo! I am going away tomorrow and I am sick. Not horribly sick, but a mild version of my usual winter crud. I started feeling funny in my throat Monday night. Woke up yesterday with that still there, my eyes itching and my right eye tearing. Another round of the allergic conjunctivitis. My head is "full," but I am not having intense sinus pain, just occasional pain. No sneezing. Came home half dead at 6:45 PM, got in my jammies, ate dinner and went to bed. My stomach is slightly "off," but nothing bad, just the usual I get.
I have been using the over the counter eye drops for the allergic stuff ever since it was prescribed last fall. I also have been doing a tablespoon of ACV and honey in a cup of hot water daily. Restarted Claritin and Nasacort. I had gone back to Flonase, but it just irritates my sinuses. Woke up this morning with the sore throat gone, but the eye thing is driving me nuts. Not itchy, now just tearing in the right eye. A bit achy, stomach is still off, head is still so-so. I don't think I need to go to the doctor or need an antibiotic. Just hoping the eye clears up. Went out this morning to buy food for our stay up in Vermont and got some chicken barley soup at the natural foods store, too. I have an appointment to get my hair cut and colored at 2, and I will *not* cancel that.
It is going to be frigidly cold this weekend, so I am not happy right now. We sometimes do a short ski or snow shoe when we arrive, but I think I will skip that tomorrow.

OakLeaf

02-10-2016, 10:58 AM

Ugh Crankin, feel better soon!

Crankin

02-10-2016, 12:53 PM

The eye started to not drip/tear after lunch. It's still messed up, but better. I can feel my body going into recovery mode. Got my hair cut shorter again, so less fuss. Going to rest on the couch.

Pax

02-10-2016, 01:15 PM

Glad it's getting better!

I had a mutant stye in my eye last week, it was huge... and popped up right before my interview, never been so thankful for aging droopy eyelids and glasses.

Catrin

02-10-2016, 02:04 PM

Feel better quickly Crankin! I've never had a stye but it doesn't sound like fun :(

Crankin

02-10-2016, 03:38 PM

I've never had a stye, either. I knew I was getting sick, though, because my eye looked sunken in and kind of stoned on Monday morning. Not crusty or red like regular conjunctivitis, but weird. I have now worn my glasses 3 days in a row. A record. My ear lobes are hurting from that.

emily_in_nc

02-11-2016, 08:58 AM

Hope you're feeling better, Crankin. That does not sound fun, and right before a trip, too. :(

Crankin

02-11-2016, 11:51 AM

I am about the same today. Very achy, which is either good or bad. I get these weird aches, mostly on my left side, as I am getting better from illness. Just a little worried that it is going in my chest, but, no real terrible signs of that. We got here about an hour ago; no snow, really, so we may be just snow shoeing and hiking. I need to feel better when I get up tomorrow.

Pax

02-11-2016, 12:38 PM

I recommend wine, lots and lots of wine. You won't even care if you're sick.

Crankin

02-11-2016, 01:56 PM

Ha, ha. Drinking some right now. I rested when our friends went out for a walk on the multi use trail. I feel a bit better, don't think it's just from the wine. We are planning our outdoor activity for tomorrow. I think the plan is to ski the few trails that are open at Von Trapp (the hills are alive) and then snow shoe there in the afternoon.
Will be leaving for dinner at 7.

OakLeaf

02-12-2016, 03:04 AM

Hope you're feeling better and can enjoy your snow play today!

Crankin

02-12-2016, 03:30 AM

I had a terrible night. Think I had a fever and now my sinuses are pounding. Going to have to go to Urgent Care. Not good, we only have one car and I don't want to ruin my friends' vacation.

Pax

02-12-2016, 03:53 AM

Oh, bummer! Hope CC can fix you up quickly.

Helene2013

02-12-2016, 04:30 AM

Hope you can get seen and get some relief soon.

Catrin

02-12-2016, 05:02 AM

So sorry Crankin, hope you feel better soon!

Crankin

02-12-2016, 07:56 AM

I decided to just hole up in bed. No urgent care. I just don't know if I really need an antibiotic. I took all my otc meds and a Tylenol, which I try to avoid, d/t liver side effects, but I can't take ibuprophin at all. My friend made a delicious breakfast of pecan encrusted French toast, which I dragged myself out of bed to eat. The horrible, really horrible body aches started disappearing a couple of hours ago, now I am sneezing (which is good). DH went to take our friends over to Von Trapp nordic center and then he will get me a few treats (bagels, plain yogurt). We mapped out a few local trails to hike tomorrow, Sunday, and Monday... high is going to be 2 degrees, so these are not 6 hour hikes. My goal is to stay in bed all day, and be able to go out to dinner tonight, and hike/snowshoe tomorrow. No wine for me :(. Just finished reading a really great book about a couple hiking the PCT and I have another one to start.
It's hard for me to stay in bed, but I am forcing it.

Pax

02-12-2016, 08:06 AM

That's good, rest and fluids will help the most. Maybe a steamy hot bath or shower later.

VeganBikeChick

02-12-2016, 09:43 AM

I'm so sorry, crankin. If it is sinusitis, you likely wouldn't get antibiotics until the symptoms have been around more than 10 days. I second Pax. Lots and lots and lots of fluids and rest. Tylenol if you can't take ibuprofen. The steam will help open things up. Feel better soon.

Crankin

02-12-2016, 10:57 AM

Yes, I am an expert in this.I've had an insatiable thirst, so I have been drinking tons of water. Will take the steamy shower in awhile. Mostly just stuffed up/full head and tired now.
My earlobes hurt from wearing my glasses so many days in a row!

OakLeaf

02-12-2016, 11:00 AM

Oh man. Hope it clears up soon. Take good care. Heating pad plus gravity (i.e., sitting semi-upright if it's the upper sinuses, turning from side to side if it's the ears) usually help my sinuses drain when nothing else will.

Crankin

02-12-2016, 11:32 AM

Yeah, I've been lying propped up in bed, with pillows. The ear is not full anymore. Just wish I wasn't so tired. Of course, being up all night didn't help. I do have my heating pad with me, but I don't think I can stand the thought of putting it on my head. I had a cold cloth on my forehead all night. Going to rest, as I don't think I can read anymore.

emily_in_nc

02-12-2016, 01:27 PM

With all those body aches, sounds like the flu to me. A cold should not cause anything that intense. If it is flu, you won't be doing anything tomorrow, or the next day, etc. if you're like normal people. I hope I'm wrong!

I am so sorry! :(

Crankin

02-13-2016, 04:17 AM

I thought about that, Emily, but 1) I had a flu shot, (not that it totally protects you) 2) I normally have those kind of body aches when I am sick. It's some kind of of immune reaction, almost like arthritis. It started on a regular basis when I had all of those health issues in 2007 3) I am not coughing 4) No fever... well there a couple of hours I felt like it, but it passed.
It's all in my head now, nose running, sneezing. I slept well last night. Still feel tired, though. I was able to go out for dinner last night, but I don't think any of us will be doing any outdoor activity today. The wind chill is going to be -45 F here today and tomorrow. There is a wine and chocolate festival we will probably go to and maybe a movie.
I don't do well with nose blowing/snot. Mostly, I have bronchial stuff when I get really sick, and rarely have what most people term a cold. I think this is more than a cold, but viral. I get worried about pneumonia, mostly, and the flu, which I had in 1995. I had a 104 degree fever for 4 days, and ended up with a residual cough (which may have been pneumonia) for about 8 weeks. I remember not being able to teach my aerobics class for 2 months, and having to swim for exercise, something I suck at.

ny biker

02-13-2016, 07:44 AM

It sounds kind of like the virus I had in April. Or maybe like the one from June, they've blended together in my memory. If you develop laryngitis, make sure you rest your voice. I hope you feel better soon.

Crankin

02-13-2016, 10:27 AM

So, we decided to brave the elements early enough, before the temperature starts really descending. We went out at 11:30, temperature of 2 F. No wind until the end. Hiked quite a beautiful trail area, only half a mile from where the condo we are staying at is. Lots of ups and downs. I started feeling a bit cold near the end, and when we got back, I noticed the tops of my thighs were bight red! I perhaps, could have had slightly heavier pants on, but I had my usual 3 layers on the top and bottom, plus a balaclava and my very heavy hat and gloves/liners. We hiked about 5 miles. I don't feel any worse, and thankfully, I didn't sneeze during the hike. Picked up some good sandwiches on the way back and now relaxing. Will do the chocolate and wine tomorrow. My head is still full and I have a horrible taste in my mouth from it all, but, hopefully, on the mend.

OakLeaf

02-13-2016, 12:50 PM

Glad you felt well enough to enjoy the outdoors. Keep feeling better!

emily_in_nc

02-14-2016, 01:08 PM

Oh good, so glad it's not flu, Crankin! I can't imagine hiking 5 miles in bitter cold with any sort of virus, but I am a complete wimp about illness and tend to curl up in bed with my meds, tea, and a book when I am feeling like you have been. But then again, I am not normally on a special trip when it hits -- so I am glad you went for it and feel no worse for the wear!

The wine and chocolate event sounds amazing. Can I come? :D

Crankin

02-14-2016, 01:59 PM

So, my head has significantly cleared today, but I am still tired and not right. Of course, very freaked out about getting pneumonia, but I am not coughing. Having a few twinges in the back, but it could be from all of the poling I did yesterday, while hiking. It is different than x country ski poling and I have not used my hiking poles for snow shoeing or hiking in a year.
Today, we hung out until close to noon, then went to a couple of art co-ops in town, where I bought my DIL a nice scarf for her birthday. Then we went to the Ski Museum, which was very interesting. That took another hour. The wine and chocolate tasting was in a town on the other side of the notch (Mt. Mansfield), so you can't drive there directly, as the road is closed in the winter. We stopped in Jeffersonville for lunch, and it was already 2, so we had sandwiches at a pizza place, and then on to the tasting. It's a small, but good winery. We tasted 5 pairings of their wine, paired with local artisan chocolate. All excellent and we ended up buying 3 bottles of wine. The amount of wine we drank was minuscule, but we decided to skip happy hour at the condo tonight, since it is Valentine's Day, and we are going out to a nice place, and we will have wine there.
The plans tomorrow are to either hike, snow shoe, or ski up part of the Mountain Rd (the one that is closed), around noon, come back and shower, then leave. The owner of the condo told us we didn't have to be out at any special time, as it's not rented after us. That is lucky, as it's school vacation week in MA, RI, CT and it's busy here. I hope I am OK.