Dear So and So

[Wahine]

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all this hassle. I deal with this sort of thing everyday and far too often people get shuffled around and fall through the cracks.

I'll be sending out good thoughts, hoping that the powers that be get off their azzes and take care of this.

[mary9761]

thanks, I've been so frustrated that I've just wanted to take that bloody cane and beat some sense into some people. :mad: :(

[crazycanuck]

Mary..I say take that cane to the hospital & threaten them with it..:mad: :eek: UGH...i sure hope you're taken care of soon.



Dear Self,

When giving someone my address, please give the right one..I now have a clue where my package went...:o Now all i have to do is figure out how to find it...:(

ARRHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHGHGG...*sniff*..*sniff*...bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

C

[salsabike]

CC, you are SO funny.



Dear Self,

When giving someone my address, please give the right one..I now have a clue where my package went...:o Now all i have to do is figure out how to find it...:(

ARRHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHGHGG...*sniff*..*sniff*...bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

C


Dear Committee in Charge of Life Stressors,

All of the seats in my StressMobile are FULL. Please do not send any more stressors because they will have to wait on the corner in the rain for the next StressMobile to come along. In fact, if you would please allow some of them to get off the bus soon, I'd appreciate it. Thank you so much.

[LBTC]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

This will be resolved and you will get your fitness, your grandsons and your life back!

Salsa, that's a good one. I'm just going to visualize the next stressor that comes along, and put it on the bus to nowhere.....what a delightful way to deal with them!

Hugs and butterflies to you both!

~T~

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Cedar Park USPS,

Where is my mail? You say you have my forwarding order and the carrier "swears" it is being forwarded, but it has been over a month since I saw one of those yellow tags. That piece of mail I keep asking about? Don't worry, I am going to call again Monday and remind you yet again that it has been 6 weeks and it is still not here! I don't care if I got the sender to resend the information, I do my job and you need to do yours.

Thank you,
Frustrated with your post office

[doc]

Mary,

My heart goes out to you. How unbearably frustrating.

Go get what you need!!! And then get better and get back on the bike and back into the world.

[rocknrollgirl]

OK Mary,
Now we are all ticked off. Tell 'em we are coming out, all of us, en mass, to deal with them. We've got your back on this one.

Sounds like some medical people need a butt whooping, and I know just the girls to do it.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there.

[mary9761]

Dear Committee in Charge of Life Stressors,

All of the seats in my StressMobile are FULL. Please do not send any more stressors because they will have to wait on the corner in the rain for the next StressMobile to come along. In fact, if you would please allow some of them to get off the bus soon, I'd appreciate it. Thank you so much.

I do so like this imagery. I understand when the StressMobile is SRO and they're bulging out the windows too. I'd like to take that bus and push it off a cliff!

Thanks again everyone

[Bikingmomof3]

(((((((((Mary))))))))))))

I am so sorry this must be such a horrible time for you. We are here for you. My continueed prayers that they will help you SOON and you will be able to resume your usual activities. *hugs*

[Kitsune06]

Dear monthly cycle goddess:
Yes, I know it's 'that time of the month'. Yes, I know I'm stressed, excited AND looking forward to something... But you know what, you're effing late. I've PMS'd for the past week and a half, I've cramped on and off for three days, I'm breaking out like a high schooler before prom, and I'M NOT EFFING HAPPY ABOUT IT!!! Once upon a time, I'd be late and know I'd likely skip that month... now I just know you'll lie in wait for the most inopportune moment to attack.
Har har
No, I'm not really laughing,
~Kit

Dear Monday
You're a b*tch. You've been messing with me all day, and I don't know how many times I've wanted to scream out of frustration. Knock it the eff off you stupid a-hole. Between people showing up out of nowhere wanting time we don't have available to give them, trying to bypass me (because I'm a pissant assistant) to grab my manager's time (which she has *less* of) and our own quirky character quirks, today has me feeling like I'm going to either laugh or cry. Paperwork is having me climb a wall. You know what- I know what this is, this is a conspiracy. You're working with the chick from the former letter. XP AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH
~Kit
PS- If I could borrow LBTC's butterflies, I'd send over about fifty with teeny little hydrogen bombs. and teeny tanks. Eh, better send deathshead moths... they're more fitting for that. :mad:

[crazycanuck]

Dear australia post & RM

RM-thanks for sending me the package:D :)

Australia Post office in West leederville-thank you so much for holding onto the package & redirecting it to the Cloisters square post office :)


I now have faith in the postal service.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...:D :)

C

[Cella66]

Dear You,

Thank you for introducing me the love of biking.
I miss you so much.

Lu,

Me

[Kitsune06]

Dear TE "Dear So and So" thread:
You've helped me keep my sanity today. You an' my big sis.

Dear guy-who-sits-next-to-me
There is so much I don't like about you, I can't even outline them here. But what gets me most is that not only do you need to disagree with practically everything I believe in, but you also have this condescending, threatening, challenging tone in your voice with everything you say. I mean everything.
You try to soften your voice when greeting clients on the phone and you sound like a stalker. You greet men on the phone in a voice that sounds like it'd be a crushing handshake and plastered grin if in physical form.
You raise the hair on the back of my neck.
You may genuinely be a nice guy, with great kids and wife and such...
but the slime you ooze on the astral planes makes me very uncomfortable.
Please, just stay the heck away from me. Don't try to be friendly, don't try to tell me why evolution is a false 'theory', don't tell me how against abortions etc you are, don't shake your head and cough if I happen to say the word 'gay'.
...and I'll stop popping my knuckles, neck and back, sighing when you start tearing into fellow evolutionists and maybe even involuntarily shuddering when you call clients and use either of your client voices.
well... the last one IS involuntary.
You really are creepy.

[chickwhorips]

dear co-worker who has control issues.

i told you once, do not make me tell you again. since you started here i have always gone to the post office to get the mail. it is the ONLY time i get out of the office unlike you. do not take the post office trip away from me, i told you after march 29th you can get the mail any time you want, until then let me. i have gotten the mail every day since you arrived here, and much longer before that. so DO NOT GET THE MAIL. it is in MY job description NOT yours! got it?

thank you
your fellow co-worker with really bad short timers syndorme.
can't wait till i'm out of here.
only 61 working hours left to go.

[mimitabby]

Dear Rotten creep that stole my son's bike

My son looked for years for a bike that was low-end enough that
he could make into a fixie bike and be able to leave on the UW campus. He always locked it carefully using a pretty good lock (not a latte lock)

Do you really have nothing better to do than take transportation away from
others who are barely getting by?

I hope some other jerk steals it from you too. and the horse you rode in on.

PO'd mom

[Thistle]

Dear TE sisters

Thank god for this thread!

Dear co-worker

i have been here for 2 years and 364 days. tomorrow it will be 3 years. you have never failed to comment on my appearance even one of those days. every time i see you, you comment on my clothing. ENOUGH already. do i give a **** what you think of my dress choices? NO.

today, you berate me for wearing shorts instead of skirts. WHO CARES???? you commented on my breakfast (i make a smoothie at work cos i dont have time in the morning to eat at home, and when i ride in i like to eat AFTER the ride, not before). you comment on my new job and what a loser place i'm going to and how it's not a real uni. GET a FRIGGIN life.... do you think i want to stay here with you??? you deride me for no longer going to the gym.... you have no idea why i dont go anymore, yet you judge me for it. you tell me i cant finish my thesis before i start the new job, and i wont be able to finish when i start the new job. THANKS FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT! :mad: :mad: with support like that, how can i fail?

if you comment on my clothes tomorrow co-worker, i am going to tell you to SHUT UP even though you are seriously up the food chain from me. 3 years is enough for anyone and i'm pretty damn tolerant. i am damned tempted to go back round now and tell you where to go.

ENOUGH ALREADY......

[Thistle]

Dear TE "Dear So and So" thread:
You've helped me keep my sanity today. You an' my big sis.

Dear guy-who-sits-next-to-me
There is so much I don't like about you, I can't even outline them here. But what gets me most is that not only do you need to disagree with practically everything I believe in, but you also have this condescending, threatening, challenging tone in your voice with everything you say. I mean everything.
You try to soften your voice when greeting clients on the phone and you sound like a stalker. You greet men on the phone in a voice that sounds like it'd be a crushing handshake and plastered grin if in physical form.
You raise the hair on the back of my neck.
You may genuinely be a nice guy, with great kids and wife and such...
but the slime you ooze on the astral planes makes me very uncomfortable.
Please, just stay the heck away from me. Don't try to be friendly, don't try to tell me why evolution is a false 'theory', don't tell me how against abortions etc you are, don't shake your head and cough if I happen to say the word 'gay'.
...and I'll stop popping my knuckles, neck and back, sighing when you start tearing into fellow evolutionists and maybe even involuntarily shuddering when you call clients and use either of your client voices.
well... the last one IS involuntary.
You really are creepy.



this guy sounds like a 1st class jerk. my sympathies Kitsune

[Blueberry]

Dear Control Freak Partner:

I really would like a life. I mean, I know you need an SUV larger than the very large one you just bought, and that your upcoming 5000 square foot house is a necessity, and you've told me that you're paid based on how much you get me to work, but I'd like a life. I'm sick - so I worked 12 hours yesterday. I'm sure you're gonna scream when you find out I stayed home sick today - never mind the fact that I *still* did work. I'd like a weekend. I'd like to get home at a decent hour, instead of your deciding at 5pm that I'm staying in the office until 10pm for no good reason. I'd like to not be required to bill 200 hours per month. I'd like to be able to *ride* my bike - I don't want your advice on how to get a 20 minute high efficiency workout in at the gym. It's not what I want. My family would like to see me. I'd like to actually have time to clean my house before I move. You'd think you might have learned your lesson screaming at me last week when my step-dad had just had a heart attack, not nooooo........

Signed, your associate

[logdiva32]

Dear Control Freak Partner:

I really would like a life. I mean, I know you need an SUV larger than the very large one you just bought, and that your upcoming 5000 square foot house is a necessity, and you've told me that you're paid based on how much you get me to work, but I'd like a life. I'm sick - so I worked 12 hours yesterday. I'm sure you're gonna scream when you find out I stayed home sick today - never mind the fact that I *still* did work. I'd like a weekend. I'd like to get home at a decent hour, instead of your deciding at 5pm that I'm staying in the office until 10pm for no good reason. I'd like to not be required to bill 200 hours per month. I'd like to be able to *ride* my bike - I don't want your advice on how to get a 20 minute high efficiency workout in at the gym. It's not what I want. My family would like to see me. I'd like to actually have time to clean my house before I move. You'd think you might have learned your lesson screaming at me last week when my step-dad had just had a heart attack, not nooooo........

Signed, your associate
Sorry your job sucks. I had a boss like that once, only he was a divorce' who hated women and life. Even tried to fry me on evaluation on my way out. Stay positive keep planning and wait on your change. "Speak life into the desires of your heart"

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear Higher Powers in charge of the Universe,
Thank you for giving my two wonderful loving daughters who are such delights and for giving them in turn two wonderful partners, and thank you for somehow assigning me the world's most loving and caring man, and thank you also for giving us all good health (for now at least) and good work to do, decent places to live, and food. We are so incredibly lucky and blessed.
...And thank you letting us ride our bikes so much. :p

[Wahine]

Dear Bank of America,

When I electronically transfer money from my account to go towards my B of A Visa, I notice it immediately disappears from my checking account but takes 2 effing days to appear on my Visa. WTF do you think you are doing with MY money for 2 days? I need that money, in that account to pay for building materials for my house. Seeing as you think I'm a deadbeat and won't give me a decent credit limit because I "have not credit history in the US" even though I can show you how much I make per week and have a bloodly professional degree and am married to a man with a PHD, the least you could do is credit my account promptly!!

Not only that, when I add money to my account to provide increased credit above and beyond my credit limit, you still won't let me make a purchase above my credit limit at any one time. EVEN THOUGH THE MONEY IS ALREADY THERE!!

Arrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!

[lph]

Dear Powers that Be,

Thank you for five shining days in the itsy-bitsy, but surrounded by oh-so-beautiful islands and mountains, "town" of Brønnøysund. Thank you for the patience I needed but usually lack, to get through my crash course in driving something with a large and scary engine without yelling at my driving instructor. Pun not intended.

And thank you for the peace of mind at the right moment so I managed to pass my test and get my licence.

Now back to my sadly neglected bike. :)

[Duck on Wheels]

Dear Bank of America,

When I electronically transfer money from my account to go towards my B of A Visa, I notice it immediately disappears from my checking account but takes 2 effing days to appear on my Visa. WTF do you think you are doing with MY money for 2 days? I need that money, in that account to pay for building materials for my house. Seeing as you think I'm a deadbeat and won't give me a decent credit limit because I "have not credit history in the US" even though I can show you how much I make per week and have a bloodly professional degree and am married to a man with a PHD, the least you could do is credit my account promptly!!

Not only that, when I add money to my account to provide increased credit above and beyond my credit limit, you still won't let me make a purchase above my credit limit at any one time. EVEN THOUGH THE MONEY IS ALREADY THERE!!

Arrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!

This is why my parents dropped BofA way back when they were farming. They'd send in two checks on the same day in the same envelope -- one a deposit and one a bill payment. BofA would charge the bill payment the same day, but spend 2-3 days creditting the deposit -- and charge them for the overdraft that caused.

[mimitabby]

This is why my parents dropped BofA way back when they were farming. They'd send in two checks on the same day in the same envelope -- one a deposit and one a bill payment. BofA would charge the bill payment the same day, but spend 2-3 days creditting the deposit -- and charge them for the overdraft that caused.

!!!!!!!

[chickwhorips]

another dissatisfied BofA customer.

if it wasn't for Alaska Airlines having 1 mile per $1 through BofA i wouldn't keep them.

[Trekhawk]

Dear Driver
If you dont know how to use the roundabout please please please avoid it. We only have 1 in the area so it shouldnt be hard.

This cyclist is so sick of nearly ending up in your boot because you slam on your brakes to give way to cars that are not in the roundabout.:mad: Heres a tip if you are in the roundabout you have the right of way.

[lph]

Dear LBS,

Yes, you have a nice owner. Yes, you have a cute Australian mechanic. Yes, I have spent hours and hours and lotsa lotsa cash in your store this winter, chatting with the both of you and getting my bike perfectly tuned.

That is exactly why I expect a bit more. I know it's spring, I know everybody else has suddenly remembered their bikes and drug them out from the inner corners of their basements and you have a lot to do - I don't care! I'm one of your best customers, and I booked an appointment ten days ago to fix a lot of things, the biggest being changing my rear derailleur. I even talked to both of you and we decided exactly which one to use. We agreed I'd drop my bike off Monday morning, and pick it up Monday afternoon. I need this bike, it's my car, and what keeps me sane.

I delivered my bike Monday morning, today. I phoned an hour later, to remind you of the derailleur we'd decided on.

SO WHY WAS MY BIKE HANGING ON THE RACK IN PIECES WHEN I CAME OVER AN HOUR BEFORE CLOSING TIME? And why, oh why, did it take until three minutes before closing time before the mechanic noticed that the rear derailleur needed to be changed??? :eek:

I really would like to like you guys, but you're making it bl**dy difficult.

-signed, confused, and fuming

[Blueberry]

Dear Driver
If you dont know how to use the roundabout please please please avoid it. We only have 1 in the area so it shouldnt be hard.

This cyclist is so sick of nearly ending up in your boot because you slam on your brakes to give way to cars that are not in the roundabout.:mad: Heres a tip if you are in the roundabout you have the right of way.

Amen! They're putting lots of these in here (one near us, and many more coming), and the drivers have not a clue what to do with them. Perhaps we need remedial drivers ed? They also speed up, pass right before the roundabout (thinking the bike can't keep up) and then slam on brakes. ARGH!

[Trekhawk]

Amen! They're putting lots of these in here (one near us, and many more coming), and the drivers have not a clue what to do with them. Perhaps we need remedial drivers ed? They also speed up, pass right before the roundabout (thinking the bike can't keep up) and then slam on brakes. ARGH!

One of the locals I know told me when they first put the roundabout in people just drove straight over the top of it.:eek:

I guess they are improving, I havent seen anyone do that.

[LBTC]

Dear Bank of America,

When I electronically transfer money from my account to go towards my B of A Visa, I notice it immediately disappears from my checking account but takes 2 effing days to appear on my Visa. WTF do you think you are doing with MY money for 2 days?

Sorry to say, Wahine, but all of the banks do this. And do you know what they are doing with your money? They are investing and making interest on it. The interest they charge us isn't enough! Can you imagine how much they collectively invest every day? And how much interest that gets them? Seriously, if you ever have money to invest, buy bank stocks. :p

See if you can get a line of credit for your renovations, instead. Credit cards are notorious for calmly explaining...we are not a bank account. We don't treat your money as a deposit on future charges.

Good luck with your renovations!!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Wahine]

Well that's what sorta burns me. When I was in Canada and had an RBC account and an RBC Visa, when I paid my visa it came up as an immediate transfer from one account to another. I don't remember there ever being a delay unless I was paying a bill to someplace outside of my bank.

Thanks for the good wishes on the renos. We're doing a serious reno. Read - we're building a custom house!!:eek: :eek:

I do not recommend this for the faint of heart. Yikes, I'll be broke before it's all over. But hey, it's going to be on heck of a house. Designed by outdoor enthusiasts for outdoor enthusiasts. We move in late April or early May.

Dear gods of construction,

Please let my house be finished soon. At least let me have a functional laundry room in the next few weeks.

Thanks.

[KnottedYet]

My credit union credits stuff like that immediately. Maybe look into a credit union rather than a bank?

[Wahine]

Thanks for the suggestion Knott. I'll be looking into a bunch of different options once the house is finished and we can settle in.

[Cella66]

Dear All of you that helped to ruin my day,

I tried, I really tried to be calm, mature and resonable all day. You win. I give up.

Signed,

Out of tissues :(

[Wahine]

((((((((Cella66)))))))

I'm so sorry, it sounds like you had a terrible day. I wish I could hand you a tissue through cyberspace.

[LBTC]

((((((((Cella66)))))))

I'm so sorry, it sounds like you had a terrible day. I wish I could hand you a tissue through cyberspace.

Wahine, I think you just did. Cella, did you get that? {{{{{{Cella}}}}}}}}

~T~

[chickwhorips]

dear anchorage,
thank you for giving me such a warm welcome. i know i'm doing the right thing, but why is it so hard?

[Cella66]

((((((((Cella66)))))))

I'm so sorry, it sounds like you had a terrible day. I wish I could hand you a tissue through cyberspace.

Thank you so much for caring. Today is a new day and will be much better I'm sure!

[Cella66]

Wahine, I think you just did. Cella, did you get that? {{{{{{Cella}}}}}}}}

~T~

Yes I did! Thank you & I hope everyone has a lovely day!

[mountainchick]

Dear virus thingamagigs living in my chestal section,

I would appreciate if you wouldn't decide to lie dormant an hour and a half before I am about to see the doctor. This always happens. I schedule an appointment for the doctor and you magically go away. They must think I'm nuts! I really am coughing up stuff, and it is hard to breath sometimes, and it ALWAYS happens after I start riding outside more than 2 days a week since the beginning of the year.

I would also appreciate it if you would cool it and leave me alone so when I actually get motivated to commute home from work I don't feel wiped out and gross. I reallyreallyreally want to ride for more than a week and a half at a time before having to take a break because I'm sick again.

Thanks a bunch,
Me (the brains of this whole operation)

[Grog]

Dear virus thingamagigs living in my chestal section,

I would appreciate if you wouldn't decide to lie dormant an hour and a half before I am about to see the doctor. This always happens. I schedule an appointment for the doctor and you magically go away. They must think I'm nuts! I really am coughing up stuff, and it is hard to breath sometimes, and it ALWAYS happens after I start riding outside more than 2 days a week since the beginning of the year.

I would also appreciate it if you would cool it and leave me alone so when I actually get motivated to commute home from work I don't feel wiped out and gross. I reallyreallyreally want to ride for more than a week and a half at a time before having to take a break because I'm sick again.

Thanks a bunch,
Me (the brains of this whole operation)

Maybe you should consider riding your bike along with your doctor? That would keep the nasties at bay.

[ace]

Dear force in the universe that plays a role in determining my health,

OK, I get it. I need to take care of myself. I need to not smoke, eat right, exercise and think about the level of stress I'm subjected to at work. I need to cut myself a break emotionally and not beat myself up about things that go wrong in my life. I GET IT, OK??? Now can you make my knee (and this sudden weird thing with my foot that's freaking me out) better? I am going to Italy in 7 weeks with my oldest friend, and after 10 years with no substantial vacation, all I want is to stroll around Florence and ride a bike down some Tuscan roads without pain. Is that too much to ask? You have more than amply proven your sense of the absurd by letting me be extremely healthy last year while ex-bf was sick and depressed and I was driving him around and feeding him and wiping his emotional butt so he could get well enough to dump me for his ex-gf, and then a week after he dumped me you put that freaking water on the floor for me to slip on and smash my knee. And then I had the fun of spending the holiday season popping pain pills and sitting in the dark in my house because every light bulb blew out in a one day span, and I couldn't stand up long enough to change them. And then there was the funny thing with you killing my refrigerator 2 days before Xmas so I had no ice for my knee until I got a new one (fridge, not knee) after Xmas (the footwork on the last two items may have been accomplished by one of your associates, but I know you had a hand in it!). Ha ha ha! Very amusing.

I am bowing down to you in all your magnificence, ok? Now please just take the pain away until 6/5, so I can train, go, and have fun?

With great respect,
Amy

[crazybikinchic]

Dear Grade Goddess,

I know that I did not do as well on this exam as proven in the past, but PLEASE be nice and at least let me pass the exam!!!!!!

[silver]

Dear Weather Man,

What the H*ll did you do with my Spring?

signed,

shivering silver :mad:

[missymaya]

Dear Grade gods and goddesses,
Please let crazybikinchic do well on her exam. I've been there and am there right now with 2 projects, one that I will get back tonight. Please be good to us. I work hard and bust my tail so I can do well and I dont want my hard work to go down the tubes!

[Wahine]

4 flats in the last 3 rides is a little excessive. I know it's important to practice repairing flats, but really, I think I'm pretty good at it now and you can leave me alone for a while. OK?

Thanks.

[IFjane]

Dear force in the universe that plays a role in determining my health,

With great respect,
Amy


Amy - I feel exactly the way you do - though I will have to say your episodes far outdo mine! I just want to get through all this internal stuff that is happening to me and feel GOOD again. It seems someone is conspiring against me. I'm sending positive thoughts your way. You are bound to have some good luck soon - and have a WONDERFUL trip to Italy!

And SS (Shivering Silver) - Not only did the weather man take YOUR spring, he's down here right now running off with ours!! And just when I have a 5 day weekend, too...**POUT**

[crazybikinchic]

Dear Grade gods and goddesses,
Please let crazybikinchic do well on her exam. I've been there and am there right now with 2 projects, one that I will get back tonight. Please be good to us. I work hard and bust my tail so I can do well and I dont want my hard work to go down the tubes!

Pleeeeeease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[silver]

(Shivering Silver) - Not only did the weather man take YOUR spring, he's down here right now running off with ours!! And just when I have a 5 day weekend, too...**POUT**


The ladies and man of team estrogen must hunt down this scum, this low life, this....this.....stealer of warmth and retrieve our Spring.....our merry warm weather.....and punish him to....to....riding a bike without a seat, to riding in the way of our snot rockets and spit, to ride all of our rides with us and keep his mouth shut, to stay at OUR pace, to do OUR routes........

*Silver mounts her carbon steed and flings her flowing velvet cape around her shoulders and pulling her silver hood (helmet) over her head and heads out eastward on her mission*

[mimitabby]

Dear god of weather
Just because everyone else is complaining about their weather doesn't mean we don't want to keep the nice weather you sent our way yesterday and now today was even better. It is starting to seem like WE could actually have weather that is not wet/cold/rainy/dark.. Is that possible?

Thanks

[oxysback]

Dear god of weather
Just because everyone else is complaining about their weather doesn't mean we don't want to keep the nice weather you sent our way yesterday and now today was even better. It is starting to seem like WE could actually have weather that is not wet/cold/rainy/dark.. Is that possible?

Thanks

+1!!!

[Wahine]

Dear god of weather
Just because everyone else is complaining about their weather doesn't mean we don't want to keep the nice weather you sent our way yesterday and now today was even better. It is starting to seem like WE could actually have weather that is not wet/cold/rainy/dark.. Is that possible?

Thanks

+ another 1.

[dex]

Dear god of weather
Just because everyone else is complaining about their weather doesn't mean we don't want to keep the nice weather you sent our way yesterday and now today was even better. It is starting to seem like WE could actually have weather that is not wet/cold/rainy/dark.. Is that possible?

Thanks

+ another 1.

I'm with them...especially because I should be able to pick up my new bike tomorrow or Friday...

[IFjane]

The ladies and man of team estrogen must hunt down this scum, this low life, this....this.....stealer of warmth and retrieve our Spring.....our merry warm weather.....and punish him to....to....riding a bike without a seat, to riding in the way of our snot rockets and spit, to ride all of our rides with us and keep his mouth shut, to stay at OUR pace, to do OUR routes........

*Silver mounts her carbon steed and flings her flowing velvet cape around her shoulders and pulling her silver hood (helmet) over her head and heads out eastward on her mission*


I'm with you, Silver! We will hunt him down and taunt him until he retreats.....his father was a hamster and his mother smelled of elderberries....oh wait...that's another taunt....his father was a mud puddle and his mother was....help me here! :D

We have a 50% chance of SNOW tomorrow night - it's APRIL for cryin' out loud!!!! ENOUGH!!!

[Kitsune06]

Dear weather god
I wave my biking shorts at your aunties!
Now go away before I taunt you for a second time!


....
*squeak, squeak, squeak...*
FRENCH GUARDS: [whispering]
C'est un vélo, vélo de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here...
[squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...]
[clllank]
ARTHUR:
What happens now?
BEDEVERE:
Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the bike, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
ARTHUR:
Who leaps out?
BEDEVERE:
U-- u-- uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, leap out of the bike, uh, and uh...
ARTHUR:
Ohh.
BEDEVERE:
Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger--

[Fredwina]

Dear people who print the Voler catalog,
You must knwo I like thier stuff, but did you have to send me 5 copies of the catalog? I looked, all same name and address. You have heard merging dupilcates, have you not? For a slight additional fee, I can even show how to do this...

[silver]

Dear weather god

Well, now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the bike, taking the French, uh, by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!
ARTHUR:
Who leaps out?
BEDEVERE:
U-- u-- uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I, uh, leap out of the bike, uh, and uh...
ARTHUR:
Ohh.
BEDEVERE:
Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden badger--

:D :D :D I love it!!!!

'Summer changed back into Winter...'

NARRATOR:
And so, Silver and IFJane and Kitsune06 set out on their search to find the weather man of whom silver had spoken in post twenty-four. Beyond the forest, they met Lisa S. H. and Mr. silver, and there was much rejoicing.

KNIGHTS:
Yay! Yay!
[woosh]
NARRATOR:
In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Kitsusne06's minstrels.
MINSTREL: [high-pitched]
Get back! Eee!
NARRATOR:
And there was much rejoicing.
KNIGHTS:
Yay!
NARRATOR:
A year passed.
CARTOON CHARACTER:
[shivering]
NARRATOR:
Winter changed into Spring.
CARTOON CHARACTER:
Mmm, nice.
NARRATOR:
Spring changed into Summer.
CARTOON CHARACTER:
Oh. Ahh.
NARRATOR:
Summer changed back into Winter,...
CARTOON CHARACTER:
Oh?
NARRATOR:
...and Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn.
CARTOON CHARACTER:
Aah.
[snap]
Oh! Waa!
NARRATOR:
Until one day...

[Kitsune06]

.... (out of order, because I'm a bleedin' sod who can't keep things straight... ) :rolleyes:

Snapdragen:
And Saint Armstrong raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.'
And Lance did grin, and the people did feast upon the Clifbloks and sportbeans and lunabars and gatorade and protein and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--
Chickwhorips:
Skip a bit, Sister.
Snapdragen:
And Lance spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Velo towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
Xrayted:
Amen.
Everyone:
Amen.
Kitsune06:
Right!
One!... Two!... Five!
Xrayted:
Three, hon!
Kitsune06:
Three!
[angels sing]
[boom]

[Xrayted]

Thank you for the laughs, dear. ;) :D

[mary9761]

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a361/mary9761/misc%20pics/knightsnia.jpg NI!!!!

[teigyr]

There are some who call me ... TIM!

I was looking at cell phone ring tones and actually saw one for the Brave Sir Robin song.

Every time we see a rabbit, no matter where we are (and who's around) we start the "where death awaits with sharp pointy little teeth..." complete with hand gestures.

Ok, my work day just got better :D

[crazycanuck]

Dear Lost property goddess,

If you see my mtn bike mojo, can you please send it back.:(

I am out on the trails, struggling uphill through the pea gravel etc..but just not at the level I wanna beeeeee.

I know I have the mojo somewhere.

Lost in the Perth Pea gravel

c

[Cella66]

Dear Willpower,

Now that the holiday season has ended (Halloween to Easter) we would love to personally welcome you back to the fold. We must say we have enjoyed the rebellious freedom while you were gone, but we have indeed missed you. Welcome back

Love,

Hips, Bum and Belly

[KnottedYet]

Dear Professional Piercers,

The new "dry" aftercare protocol really isn't very sexy. My newest piercing didn't like it much, and I've returned to the saltwater soaks of yore.

Sweet Relief!

[northstar]

Dear Mr. Bill,

Will you please, please, PLEASE shut up. I am running out of niceness.

[KnottedYet]

Dear paranoid narcissist coworker,

You have been obssessed with me for 2 years. Get some therapy and get over it.

And don't ever call me at home in an alcoholic frenzy again.

[deena]

Dear weatherman -

Six inches of snow? Are you kidding me? I took off the whole week for Easter vacation, and the only riding I'm doing is on the trainer!!!! Get it together up there.

Tired of Winter in Wisconsin

[chickwhorips]

dear former SO,

please stop being mean. i have not said a mean word to you. last night the message with "i hope your feet heal crooked so you cant run, even though your pathetic and never could run" line really hurt. who says that? i may not be as fast of a runner as you who has ran all of your life, but i go out and do it and enjoy it! you were the one that taught me that i could run. i guess when i said you made me a better person by getting me into running and cycling, you actually listened. i just don't get why you are being so mean.

i now feel like i'm a better person for not having you in my life for saying such mean things to me. i just don't get it..... or you.

your former SO

[Trek420]

There are some who call me ... TIM!

I was looking at cell phone ring tones and actually saw one for the Brave Sir Robin song.

Every time we see a rabbit, no matter where we are (and who's around) we start the "where death awaits with sharp pointy little teeth..." complete with hand gestures.

Ok, my work day just got better :D


I laugh at your mustache, I spit in your general direction

[pooks]

Many of you graciously sent Christmas/Holiday cards to a unti in Iraq when I requested them last fall.

I just wanted to stomp my feet and curse a bit and ask for prayers and good wishes -- they have just been notified that their tours have been extended three more months (along with most everyone else over there, according to the news).

May all our soldiers come home safe.

Hmm, I put this in an ongoing thread instead of starting a new one.

Okay, I'll just amend it.

Dear ______________ in Chief.

Please. Let them come home now?

Thank you.

Pooks

(You may fill in the blank silently as you wish. In order not to offend, I decided to leave it blank, because believe me, the word I'd put there would offend.)

[trickytiger]

Dear Fate-

Thanks for providing me with the girly version of cajones, or at least letting me borrow them for a bit. I don't miss working on construction sites, open-pit mines, or highways. At all. My hair is looking much better these days now that I don't wear a hard hat. Alas, I don't sleep nearly as much anymore, but I'm sure my lab partners appreciate my hard-earned understanding of organic molecules and stoichiometry. Also, the demise of my 50-mile-round-trip commute is doing wonders for my personality, and is convieniently timed to avoid the annual mass mark-up of gasoline. I also thank you (actually the credit goes to Knotted:) ) for a new opportunity to do some volunteer work in my new potential field. For once, I'm not so freaked out about my future. What comes will come.

However, now I must move on to some points of contention. Will you mind knocking some sense into my dear friend? After knowing each other half our lives, he's decided to throw a temper tantrum because I do not want to date him. Never mind that I've had the same boyfriend for the past two-plus years, never mind that we've had this conversation before- it's been over three months since dear friend will answer email or pick up the phone, and I'm pissed. I feel rather blindsided by the sudden declaration of apparent everlasting love, and even more so by the just-as-sudden declaration of apparent everlasting hate. I feel this is indicative of exactly why I do not want to date said friend, as I really don't go for this kind of behavior. Can you at least inform my friend that he should at least talk to me in person about this so we can resolve something? (perhaps you could lend him some of those cajones).

Thanks. Much appreciated. Now, where's spring? You teased us with 70 degrees last week- let's do it again!

[mimitabby]

Dear Weather Magicians
cute trick I don' t know how sunny, partly sunny, and slightly cloudy can turn into THIS nasty stuff. Now I have to ride in it. Could you just keep the faucets turned off until nightfall? Thank you.
PS you're doing a great job of convincing the flat earth contingent that global warming is a wacky left wing notion!
sincerely
have rain coat and rain pants just in case anyway


ps chickwhorips you SOOOO do not deserve that AH! every time he spews is more
proof that you need to stay far far far away from him.

[Xrayted]

CWR - thank god you are away from that idiot and on your own finally. He's just p*ssed off because you are making it without him just fine and are happier now. Sour grapes. We all know you are a wonderful person and deserve every happiness coming to you these days. Ignore XPITA and keep smiling little sister.

Love ya lots.

~mick

[Pika]

Dear Desperate patients
When you call me at the last moment because you are sooo desperate and in sooo much pain and I promise to stay late/come in early/have no life so you can enjoy yours ...COULD YOU AT LEAST SHOW UP?- and please don't call when you remember the appointment the next day and ask again for another appointment- please use the drama on someone else- if you were that desperate you would have shown up for the first appointment.

[Wahine]

(((((((((((PIKA)))))))))))))

I hear ya sister!! That is soooooooo rude and unfortunately, not uncommon.

[KnottedYet]

ditto!!!!

[mtbdarby]

Dear Mary,
Just open the Fr^%kin' project!! Why? Because I asked you to! Do not question why I need this to get my work done. Do not send me three emails, then copy your boss - just open it:mad: . Is that too much to ask? Do you NOT have a clue with the fact that the rest of my department has quit that I'm at my wits end? I am one bad day away from walking out the door and not coming back and I don't need crap from you or anyone else that is so good about weaseling out of their work and having everyone else do it. You're the accountant - why do I have to invoice????

I am ready to go medieval on someone and you are in my sites. Just do as I ask, back away slowly and no one will get hurt.....

[SouthernBelle]

Go ahead. Go medieval with a large pike. & maybe a mace.

[mtbdarby]

I just might:rolleyes: Bi&$% hasn't opened the estimate for me..

[mimitabby]

Dear great keeper of time

why is the clock moving so slowly today while i am at work and why will i have so little time AFTER work to get everything done?

Just asking, no logic explanation or answer required.

mimi who is fit to be tied.

[mtbdarby]

Dear Verizon (People PC, Beachbody, etc) Call Center in India (can you tell I'm having a bad day??),
I realize this is a low cost alternative to a lot of companies, but all I want is to be able to ask my question and get an answer in less than the 25 minutes and 3 people you just put me through. My dsl line is hooked up - where is my modem???? And why can't you help me? I realize you gave me an estimated hookup date of 4/20 - yeah, you hooked the line up early. Just please send me my modem. No, instead, you give me yet another number to call which I doubt will much helpful than the first. All I'm asking for is a tiny bit of customer service in a really crappy day. Without the internet at home I am cut off my my TE sisters - I am not dealing well with this withdrawal. Lucky for you, you are the only dsl provider in my town and I can't drop you. Otherwise I would have told you off today and moved on to another company.

I am now going to take a deep breath and call my local number to see if they can help me. Wish me luck....

[mtbdarby]

Dear Terry (Mary's boss),
Pretty sad I had to go over her head to get the estimate open, but it's now open in time for me to leave and have to start over Monday morning. Thanks.

At least it allowed me time to make an appointment at the employment agency. I'll be calling Verizon on the way home, on my company cell phone.

********bllllllloooooowwwwwwiiiinnnngggg ooooouuuttttt**********

Done venting now. Thanks for listening:p I'm off to get my little man and a big hug. Then I get to see my mom and sister tomorrow. And 2 whole days I don't have to think about this place. Taa-Taa.

[chickwhorips]

hugs dar

hope your day gets better!

[run it, ride it]

Dear Mother Nature.

Look, we get it. You're in charge. You own us. We are at your mercy. But haven't the past few weeks been just a little unnecessarily cruel?

One week it's -20C and overcast, next it's 18C and sunny, and now it's -4C and snowing? You give us a mere TASTE of spring, then throw it back in our faces? This is hella unfair.

Regards,
Frozen Cyclist

[mountainchick]

Dear Mother Nature.

Look, we get it. You're in charge. You own us. We are at your mercy. But haven't the past few weeks been just a little unnecessarily cruel?

One week it's -20C and overcast, next it's 18C and sunny, and now it's -4C and snowing? You give us a mere TASTE of spring, then throw it back in our faces? This is hella unfair.

Regards,
Frozen Cyclist

I hear ya! Its not snowing here, but cold and rainy...Saturday was amazing but did a complete 180 and is now crappy. I hate the little TASTE the its gone...:(

[smilingcat]

To the jerky dude cyclist,

I was minding my own d*&n business riding a straight line, not weaving, not yo-yo-ing my speed. Doing a respectible 20+MPH and when you past me on my left. You didn't even call out. So why the F*&k did you lauch that snot rocket. I almost ran into it. :mad: :mad: for what ever reason, when you went past, I drifted to your left side and you Mr. A__hole, you launched it on your right side. YOU MISSED!!

Then to the two boys, one riding a brand spanking new Colnago with Record component, next time please ask if you want to draft off of me. You are a big boy and so was your friend. Back off! I not only had to keep my eye on the road, I needed a second set of eyes on back of my head to keep an eye on you two. With such nice bike and nice component, surely you could have past by me. I was only doing 23MPH. I'm out of shape pld bitty.

GRRRR

[Wahine]

Dear wind gods.

You were very tough on our good pal Denise (AKA Running Mommy) today. You whipped her hard and sent her out on the run with nothing left in her legs. Well, she worked her azz off for a PR at IMAZ. Not only did you take her PR away, she couldn't finish in time for the cut-off.

You're mean and you better make it up to her somehow this year. Maybe you can convince the lottery gods she needs a little cash, or ask the gods in charge of health to leave her alone for awhile.

[Kitsune06]

Dear so-and-so
If you told me once, three of four months ago that I could keep my bike upstairs, and I politely declined because after a 10mi hammerfest carrying a 30# bike up 4 stories felt like a death sentence, please remember that at one point in time that option was available to me.

Today, after my ride in, I didn't have my lock so I carried my bike up the 4 floors (because the building manager specified no bikes in the elevator) and asked politely if that option was still available. You not only told me you didn't remember having ever told me that, you also went to the office manager to inquire. You weren't polite about it, came back to me and said "He's not thrilled, it's only okay on an exception basis." :mad: WTF. You were the one who looked into bike parking for me!

GRRRRRRRRRRRR

[DebW]

Kit, maybe there are creative ways to get around this rule. If you disassembled your bike in the office, it wouldn't be a bike, it would be 2 wheels and some other parts. You could hide parts in dozens of different places. I think this is a challenge your devious mind can easily conquer, while making obvious the inaneness of the current policy.

[mimitabby]

Kit, maybe there are creative ways to get around this rule. If you disassembled your bike in the office, it wouldn't be a bike, it would be 2 wheels and some other parts. You could hide parts in dozens of different places. I think this is a challenge your devious mind can easily conquer, while making obvious the inaneness of the current policy.

ROTFL!
:D :D :D :D :D

[Daydrummer]

Okay, I gotta get in on this thread...

Dear Rude Patient,

Thank you for throwing the cup of grape juice at my head! Very original, as the guy in the room next door just cursed. Please keep in mind that i'm here to HELP you, to assist your doctors in finding out what is wrong and to treat you, so you can get back out there in public and throw stuff at other people. If you don't want to get better, then please go back home, so the car accident victim can have a room now.

Sincerely,
Your friendly "Wake Up Call".

[IFjane]

Dear Plastic Packaging Manufacturer,

I know you are so proud of yourselves when you make those nifty almost-hard plastic containers for whatever-it-is-I-need. You must be thrilled when you realize that your newest creation is as safe as Fort Knox. You may impress yourselves, but I, for one, am NOT IMPRESSED! I have ruined scissors, box cutters, knives, chisels, screw drivers, chain saws (ok, not chain saws)......and cut my fingers, hands, wrists and legs......and gouged furniture, floors and cabinets trying to get into the darn things!

Today I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to pick up some of those plastic "dryer balls" on the advice of a co-worker. There are wet clothes sitting in the washer and I can't get the stupid balls out of the package!!!

By the way....the package says, "The Natural Way to Soften Fabrics"......ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but these things are not only encased in plastic, but are MADE OF PLASTIC. Since when is plastic NATURAL?

Love & kisses, Jane

[divingbiker]

Dear recycling coordinator--

In what strange universe does it make sense to you to provide thousands of employees with individual plastic recycling bins for office paper when we had perfectly fine cardboard recycling bins already? Do you not get that plastic is here forever? And it takes energy and petrochemicals to produce that plastic? (And no, it doesn't make it all right just because some of the plastic is "post consumer".) And to do it in the name of Earth Day no less!

Sincerely,

A very discouraged employee of the agency whose mission is "protecting human health and the environment"

[IFjane]

A very discouraged employee of the agency whose mission is "protecting human health and the environment"


I know! You work for Exxon??? :eek:

EPA?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear mail-order clothing company (not TE)....
What posesses you to ship me one little soft t-shirt in a plastic bag, packaged inside a huge cardboard box FILLED with a ton of styrofoam peanuts!!!!!?????? :eek: :mad: :eek: :mad:
What on earth are you thinking??????? That the t-shirt might BREAK????
Dear employee who answered my stern emailed complaint- please do as you said you would and pass my complaint to the Bosses.

[pooks]

Dear WEATHER:

If you simply HAD to kick up a fuss and create a tornado warning that had to be broadcast for the entire Dallas/Fort Worth area, couldn't you have had the common decency to wait until AFTER HOUSE WAS OVER?

To play with us this way, and play nice until the LAST TEN MINUTES and THEN lower the boom?

Not polite. Not polite at all.

Now that you've had your fun and interrupted my favorite show by wiping out the entire ending, could you just be satisfied with that and forget about actually making a tornado?

Thank you.

Grrr.

[trickytiger]

Dear Fate:

Thanks for letting me rock that chem midterm. I NEVER have been the second one to finish an exam before- usually I am in the back frantically making up the answers until the very last second! As for the only other student who finished before me, thanks for making him 1.) Very Attractive and 2.) My lab partner.

Also, thanks for convincing my supervisor to lay off the hours this week. Hopefully, after my crazy schedule of midterms and whatnot, Knotted won't have to slap me awake when I show up for my volunteer shift at her work. (Which sounds like quite the dramatic place lately!).

[Kitsune06]

Dear chick at work:
my "What I'd tell you if you promised not to get mad"... I'm sorry you're still single. I think it's because you're very defensive. So afraid to look 'desperate' that maybe you fail to look interested enough? So needful of commitment (but fearful of looking like it) you give this vibe of only really wanting mr. 'right now'.
I wish I knew a nice, single guy to introduce you to, but to be honest, I think the dark shadows and phantoms in your past haunt your present in a catch-22 way. You need love and comfort to rise above them, but they cause you to chase away prospects. *sigh* *hug*

Dear Webster's:
You define "Humane" as 1 : marked by compassion, sympathy, or consideration for humans or animals
2 : characterized by or tending to broad humanistic culture : HUMANISTIC
yet in so much of life, I have never seen a more hateful and dark creature than the human. A cat will maul something to death in play, but it will not spitefully sneer, maim and mark for life, then feel better about itself for it.
the capacity that distinguishes humans has come down to something Augustine identified 1,600 years ago when he asked what "can be the purport of the injunction, know thyself? I suppose it is that the mind should reflect upon itself."
Perhaps it is our self-realization, the ability of the human to be introspective, that is the key to our internal darknesses and cruelties? Why then the mocking word 'humane'? What creature could be so cruel to a human besides another of his species?

Dear Pixies:
Where is my mind?

[logdiva32]

Dear rude Army Gateguard,
Why must you insist on giving the 2 worst options in traffic, to stop and show you my ID. Instead of allowing me to stop in line with the cars, you make me pull to the right. Then re negotiate through the early morning darkness over a quick 4 lanes to make the left. I ask you this all the time and you say it is safer. WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW... It is not...Dumb A$%.urrgghh
Or go past my turn to the cross walk and walk across 2 streets and out of the way then renegotiate myself back through traffic on a rocky road.
Well Mr. hypertensive, teeth missing, smoker guy. Hope you live long with all that.....uuggghh.

[logdiva32]

Dear so-and-so
If you told me once, three of four months ago that I could keep my bike upstairs, and I politely declined because after a 10mi hammerfest carrying a 30# bike up 4 stories felt like a death sentence, please remember that at one point in time that option was available to me.

Today, after my ride in, I didn't have my lock so I carried my bike up the 4 floors (because the building manager specified no bikes in the elevator) and asked politely if that option was still available. You not only told me you didn't remember having ever told me that, you also went to the office manager to inquire. You weren't polite about it, came back to me and said "He's not thrilled, it's only okay on an exception basis." :mad: WTF. You were the one who looked into bike parking for me!

GRRRRRRRRRRRR

I wonder do you have janitorial staff. stayed at a hotel where the janitorial staff let me lock my bike up in the basement on the level that says "no guests" cause they treat people like crap down there. They usually know all the hiding spots, and hate managers so they never tell..

[IFjane]

Dear MS 150 team leader,

Next time you hear a rumor that I will not be riding the MS 150, please ASK ME FIRST if it is true. Please do NOT take it upon yourself to contact the director of the local MS society to ask what to do with the money I have raised. Instead, check with me because I INTEND TO RIDE EVERY frickin' INCH of the ride!!!
sheesh!!!:mad: :mad:

[Batbike]

Dear Hurting Friend,

I know you are going through a hard time -- loss of spouse via divorce, loss of house via moving, loss of money (see other two losses) --can all be devastating. In your time of need, you called me and I have tried to be loving, patient, and concerned during your turmoil. Not once I have spoken of me or anything going on in my life, knowing that one day you will be whole again and we can really talk. I have made efforts to keep you focused, keeping you from that dark black hole of loneliness you enjoy, and keep you talking about your situation -- that is why I call you weekly. But, now you resent my calls and my concern. You have decided that I am intrusive and insecure because I haven't heard from you in over a week and want to know what is happening with you! Geez, you could be locked in a dark room refusing to come out (it has happened before), you could be hurt by your now drug-using ex-husband (have no idea what he would do!), or you could be pre-occupied by keeping really busy (a new concept). How am I to know if you don't return my calls in over a week?!

Ok, you finally called -- angry, but you called. I now know you are moving forward, focusing 100% you, and not realizing who you are hurting while you heal. That is OK, because you need to heal but I don't need to be hurt while you heal. I will not call again, but I will occassionally think of you and wish you the best. Maybe one day you will come back to me as my "whole friend", the person I knew before all this happened. Maybe not. Take care, friend. :(

[weathergal]

Dear God/Mother Nature/whatever,

Enough with the tornadoes. I know that they are part of what interests me about meteorology, and my paycheck after 11 hours of overtime in the last 24 hours will be nice. However, me and everyone else at work are getting tired.

If you must produce tornadoes (and from looking at the pattern it looks like you do), then could you keep them over open country? We really don't need another Greensburg.

Thanks,
weathergal

[Deborajen]

Amen, weathergal!

A big thanks to you hardworking weather people. Greensburg had some advance warning, and I'm sure the loss of life would have been much worse if not for that. The destruction is tremendous - I can't believe anyone survived such a storm.

Deb

[weathergal]

I realized that after I posted that I was being kind of whiny. I may be tired and not be getting to spend much time at home (or biking), but at least I still have a home to go to. And yes, it's good that there aren't more deaths in Greensburg. Although they found two more bodies today. :( And miraculously, two people alive and trapped under the rubble.

[Zen]

My house was flooded last year (no basement) ...lost some artwork and have had no flooring except for a concrete slab.

But at least I have a slab and a roof.

I can't begin to imagine how devastating and demoralizing it would be to lose everything.

[BellaBeauty]

Im keeping up with it on the news, and Im so sorry. I can only imagine :(

Dear Lottery Gods

can I please win? please? please? I neeed help helping my parents out :(

[LBTC]

Dear person,

I will not forget that you were instrumental in creating he** for myself and my husband a few years ago, because we showed ethics and you were more interested in "being a leader". I know you know who threatened to kill our dogs, and who stopped everyone else from riding with us for a full year. I know you were not interested in seeing the ethical side of trail usage, maintenance, and building, nor in how to treat people.

Thanks in part to you and your actions I now have a fabulous job in a great city with flowers and early spring and a thriving and inclusive cycling community.

So when I have to talk to you about this work related matter, please understand that I do so only because I am professional in my work. I take no pleasure in hearing your voice, in picturing you on the other end of the phone, or in knowing that my task is to provide you with a company perk that I know you will abuse and misuse and that I would personally not approve if it were in my power. This is just a job and I do it because they pay me well and treat me with respect.

I offer no butterflies to you, only to all the people who have to communicate with you - poor people.

~T~

[SadieKate]

Dear Local Newspaper:

I came very close to canceling my subscription today. The local phone company just installed a new land line. Less than 10 mins later and you're already calling to sell me a subscription? Get real.

SK

PS - Phone installer, you are a super nice guy but did you have to pick up all the molasses cookies to take with you? :rolleyes:

[Trek420]

Dear Local Newspaper:

I came very close to canceling my subscription today. The local phone company just installed a new land line. Less than 10 mins later and you're already calling to sell me a subscription? Get real.

SK

PS - Phone installer, you are a super nice guy but did you have to pick up all the molasses cookies to take with you? :rolleyes:

Dear Local Phone Customer,

The number you just got is new to you, but numbers are like raindrops, they are recycled.

There are no new numbers. Odds are that your local paper did not even have clue one who they were calling, they just dialed randomly or had the number for the person who had YOUR number a year ago on their list of people to bother.

Get your numbers (phone, fax, cell, business....) listed on the national do not call list. It helps, it's free

wwww.donotcall.gov

Also SK, technicians do not take anything from a customer; food, flowers, chocolates nothing, nada, zip, zilch. They are well paid by us thank you and can buy their own cookies. I'm dead serious about this.

Even if the customer says "here, take these cookies" the answer is "no, thanks"

If the cookies bother you even a little PM me, will get you direct line to repair or call 611 from any land line.

[mimitabby]

Dear Local Phone Customer,

The number you just got is new to you, but numbers are like raindrops, they are recycled.

There are no new numbers. Odds are that your local paper did not even have clue one who they were calling, they just dialed randomly or had the number for the person who had YOUR number a year ago on their list of people to bother.

Get your numbers (phone, fax, cell, business....) listed on the national do not call list. It helps, it's free

wwww.donotcall.gov

Also SK, technicians do not take anything from a customer; food, flowers, chocolates nothing, nada, zip, zilch. They are well paid by us thank you and can buy their own cookies. I'm dead serious about this.

Even if the customer says "here, take these cookies" the answer is "no, thanks"

If the cookies bother you even a little PM me, will get you direct line to repair or call 611 from any land line.

ooooo. Talk about a direct line to goddess! :eek:

[SadieKate]

Dear Phone Co Goddess Trek,

Thank you but I just wanted to gripe. I had the number registered before I even griped on TE. I register every number I can and then I go recruit my neighbors' numbers just for the satisfaction. Of course, that isn't preventing the jerks from using the automated unidentifiable methods that take way too much effort to stop but that's another story.

No worries about the cookies. It just made me laugh and I'm saved from eating them myself. But thank you.

Now the DSL thingie isn't working. After the cookie-snatcher left, I un-tached the cord to put a longer one on and the phone stops working. Works fine without the DSL filter, but doesn't work with either of the filters shipped by the LPC (somebody was a tad too overachieving in the shipping depart.:p ). The filters must be over achievers also as the dial tone is now filtered out. And, yes, I'm 'taching the cord to the spot labeled "phone." :rolleyes:

Arg.

SK (who is also enjoying the silence of a deceased cell phone)

PS - Trek, what kind of cookies do you like? :)

[Trek420]

ooooo. Talk about a direct line to goddess! :eek:

nah, more like a serf ;) I'm just a cog here.

stay tuned I'll check back in a minute when on break

[Kitsune06]

Dear Home Office:
Today has been a charming day with you folks. Like a relationship, we have our ups and downs. Some days you save my butt- some you send back all my paperwork, razz me and my clients, and make calls about things that confuse the h*ll out of me.
Today was the latter.
You called me today to tell me that if I didn't send you proof in writing that checks needed to be held, you'd send the checks out, nearly $10k out of a lady's retirement account, that may or may not be necessary.
So I freaked out and told my manager, told her I'd get to the bottom of this, as, conveniently, my system is down.
This client has gotten the run-around already. She asked for that $10k a couple weeks ago, but misspoke, asking that it be sent as a check, not put into her checking account. I was sweating bullets telling her it would take 7-10 days for her to get that check because she misspoke. I even offered to hold the checks and do all new paperwork to transfer that money as she wanted, but she was blessedly patient and understanding, said the 7-10 days was fine, but she had to buy a car and the dealership was breathing down her neck, waiting for their money.
So for you, home office, to call me today telling me that "If you don't get proof in writing that the checks need to be held, you'll send them out" I nearly sh*t a brick. That implied the poor woman didn't get her money. It implied a load of trouble for her and the dealership.
Yes, I did my job, called you back, left you a message (yay for time zone differences...) and then bit the bullet to call our client, knowing she'd be p*ssed if she didn't get her money.
As luck would have it, she thanked and thanked me, told me the checks had been overnighted apparently, and her new car was everything she needed, my service was amazing, and she didn't have to worry about the dealership being upset with her.
I pulled my jaw up off the floor and told her she was very welcome- if we could do anything else for her, she needn't hesitate to ask- and we ended our discussion.
...that leaves me with a serious discussion for you, Home Office- wtf? Why do you still think you're processing this paperwork if you clearly already have?
But you know what? As long as our client got her money when she needed it and is happy, that's all that matters. All this behind-the-scenes stuff will come out in the wash. What's important is a) she's happy, b) our expedient service looked incredibly fast c) I'm not under the gun.
I'll talk to you tomorrow. ...one of you. ;)
~rep#468000

[mary9761]

Dear Goddess in Charge of Surgeons, Recovery etc:
Please let my surgery go uncomplicated and successful Friday so I can have my life back and get back to watching my 2 grandsons and riding my bike. I know you love children too and want me to be able to be back to my grandsons Tomas and Steven. Please watch over the surgeon's scalpel and make sure while he's near my spinal cord there are no "Oops! moments". First when I wake up, I'd like to be able to actually feel my legs and feet, then know that the surgery was a success. Please be sure to remind the anesthesiologist that if they are supposed to give me a pain block before I wake up from surgery to make sure they do it. The last surgery I had when I needed the angiomyofibroblastoma removed from my labia, they forgot and when I woke to a pain level of 10+, then with an audience I couldn't see since my eyes weren't quite ready to open, but my pain receptors were WIDE AWAKE the doctor and students watching him hold onto my private areas yanking at it like a ham hock say the patient isn't REALLY in as much pain as she's acting like she is :eek: :mad:.. buddy if my legs were speaking to my brain at the time, I would have showed you what "not being in THAT MUCH PAIN" felt like :mad:
Thank you,
A nervous, but hopefully soon to be relieved of pain Mary

[northstar]

Dear guy who knocked on my door a half hour ago,

I'm sorry...I shouldn't have been sarcastic. You asked if I was the homeowner; I said I was. You stared at me and said, "So, you own the home?" And then I was a bit snarky and told you, "Yes, generally that's what it means when someone says they're the homeowner."

It was a dumb question to ask, but I shouldn't have been such a snot. Your job can't be pleasant, and I'm sorry. :o

Slinking away into the corner and feeling mean...

NS

[chickwhorips]

I'm sorry...I shouldn't have been sarcastic. You asked if I was the homeowner; I said I was. You stared at me and said, "So, you own the home?" And then I was a bit snarky and told you, "Yes, generally that's what it means when someone says they're the homeowner."

Here's your sign....

[SadieKate]

Dear Trek Phone Co Cog Serf Whatever,

Thanks for letting me vent today. Phone and DSL are working together now. Of course, it took a run to Office Max to actually get the splitter that was needed and a shim to prop open the little spring-loaded door on the jack so the splitter isn't forced out of the port disconnecting everything constantly. I love that the installer didn't know that two filters filter out all frequencies without discrimination. Maybe he does it just to be prepared, kind of like wearing a belt and suspenders.

I did take the opportunity to buy a 6 ft long printer cable to go the 2 ft from my docking station to the printer. It will be nice not to have the 25 feet of cable tangled up with the dog bed, the filing cabinet, the trash can, etc. Of course during this project, the Wonder Poodle also informed me that he liked having the sliding glass doors open so he could nap on the cool concrete patio and to heck with the flies coming in the house.

All's well that ends well. Now if my new cell phone arrives tomorrow AND the employee in charge of business line accounts would add in such nice basics as call waiting and forwarding that are standard services for telecommuters. I really don't see the need to beg for each and every standard service provided by our policy. How about letting me do my job instead of yours?

SK

[Trek420]

Dear Trek Phone Co Cog Serf Whatever,

Thanks for letting me vent today. SK

No problem, it's all part of the excellent service we provide. :p


Phone and DSL are working together now. Of course, it took a run to Office Max to actually get the splitter that was needed and a shim to prop open the little spring-loaded door on the jack so the splitter isn't forced out of the port disconnecting everything constantly. I love that the installer didn't know that two filters filter out all frequencies without discrimination. Maybe he does it just to be prepared, kind of like wearing a belt and suspenders.
SK

As well they should work together. Huh :confused: Do you have a filter on a t-adapter? Or a filter on a two-line filter? Oh heck, I don't care, I don't have to :p .....it works now, right? Have a cookie. ;)

[short cut sally]

dear unleashed dog owners.
I do not have a problem with dogs. The owners of dogs might be where my problem is. There is a thing called leash law. You have a dog outside, if you are not around, they are to be tied up. Is that so difficult to understand? I got the snot scared out of me on yesterdays bike ride. 2 dogs, one looked like a pitbull and the other was fast behind the first one. All i saw was a large head and lots of teeth. Pepper spray went flying everywhere, i unclipped to save some grace, and screamed. After my minute of increased heartrate and cadence passed, i paused for some drink. my water bottle was covered in pepper spray. Tastes rather warm and left my lips tingly all evening, and i tasted it even after dinner and the smell was still stuck in my nose. Note to self, always check water bottle if pepper spray has been used and order more spray.

[Kitsune06]

Dear dog owners
in keeping with Shellyj,
also, when I'm hiking in the park, please keep your dogs on their leashes so everyone doesn't hear you for miles yelling to/at your dog to come back/keep up. Geez.

[SadieKate]

Dear Local Phone Co Supervisor and System Tech Persons:

Thank you so much for responding in person in minutes after my call. The phone and the DSL seem to be happy with each other finally and, most wonderfully, you got rid of the jack with the nasty spring-loaded door. I even posted this note while on the phone and the DSL connection didn't bog down into oblivion.

Woohoo.

SK

[IFjane]

Dear Special Education Teacher with your umpteen advanced degrees,
When I ask you to fill out ONE simple Social/Emotional Developmental Rating form on ONE little child, could you PLEASE try not to scribble all over the paper!??? All you needed to do was fill in a few circles with a #2 pencil. I have a feeling the 4 year old student could have done a neater job!~ :mad:

Thank you for your attention to detail....

[FreshNewbie]

Dear Rollerblader-girl who wears Victoria's Secret "I love Pink" sweat suit, next time you go rollerblading in the park please lower the volume on your Ipod. You see that this park has a lot of people on their bikes, runners, walkers, kids. Why listen to music so loud that you can't hear when someone passing you yells out "On your left"?? So what do you decide to do? - swing right in front of me and then when I hit your rollerblades with my front wheel you don't even realize what happen. Maybe if you could hear someone behind you then you would not ride in zig zags and actually maintain your line? Maybe not...

[missymaya]

Dear collegiate faculty and staff (particularly faculty),
I know you signed up for a certain # of meals and that they expired on May 1 but do NOT get pissed with me b/c you decided not to read the contract! Yes you lost money or meals when the expiration date occured, but do not blame me for it, especially when you signed months in advance, giving you plenty of time to eat said # of meals. You are supposed to have a degree in higher education, I would expect you to be able to read, especially read before you sign a contract. But, maybe I'm asking for too much. Just get off of mine and my coworkers backs b/c you were too lazy to read 2 simple paragraphs.

[Kitsune06]

Dear Missymaya:
Mah spoon is too big!
~Kit

Dear L
You've been incredibly cool and supportive the past seven months. You told me this morning that God never closes a door without opening a window. You told me earlier that everything in the universe happens for a reason. Someone told me last night, that had I not gotten this job with you, I never would have, through the twisting path of circumstance, met her. There are people I love whom I would have never known, people who were hurtful whom I would have never been able to leave. You've been a guide, an inspiration and a mentor. I wish I knew how you manage such an overwhelmingly positive outlook despite setbacks and stress. Everyone has a gift, and I think those- your incredible humanity and kindness- are yours. Thank you.

[teigyr]

Dear person in my pole dancing class,

There are times it takes nerve to take this class. I realize you are much younger and apparently run marathons in record time (according to you), easily do things requiring arm/ab strength, and don't appear to have time constraints put upon you by working. There are times I struggle because I am the oldest one in class, am definitely the least flexible, and am working to getting back into the shape I was in before moving to Washington.

Imagine my surprise when I saw your Seven bike as I was going into class yesterday. I didn't know you cycled! I asked you questions about components (you didn't know what you had), gear sizes (ditto on not knowing) and you were able to deflect all by announcing that the bike was built for YOU!!! I asked you about hill climbing which has been my nemesis this year as I am getting into shape and I noticed you had a double with a fairly small cassette in the back. You said you had no problems at all with hills and the bike flies up them.

All of that is ok until you said loudly, with other people around and in a patronizing tone, "it's ok, you will climb hills better as you start to lose weight".

I don't know if you realize it but I'm pretty much the same size I was when I was working out a lot. I also don't know if you realize that I probably have a longer riding history than you do. And maybe you don't realize that I know I need to get back into shape which is why I'm riding 100+ miles a week, and have also started running, and am doing things like taking pole dancing class.

It was all I could do to stay in class. In a group where you are a bit vulnerable due to the nature of the class, I think your comment was unwarranted and uncalled for.

Oh and fellow classmate? Not that I'm spiteful but when I tearfully told DH what had happened, I gave him a brief description of you. He remembered seeing you from the one time he dropped me off at class two months ago. He said at the time that you looked like a high maintenance b&*^% and that is why he remembered seeing you. It doesn't make it all better but it goes to show that there are people who see you for what you are.

[divingbiker]

Dear TE ladies:

Thank you for being so civilized. There's a new "Dear So and So" thread over at Bikeforums.net (http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=298516), and it quickly degenerated into sophomoric sex-related posts. I'm so glad that we're not like that.

Janice

[Kitsune06]

Dear Bikeforums Dear So and So thread:
Finally! A place where I could let my inner 13 year old out to play!
...and yet...
the realization that I should have to go somewhere special to be a crass dork feels too similar to kindly getting up and leaving the room to pass gas.

*sigh* Again I am encouraged by my inner adult to confine my inner 13 year old to her room until she can play nice with others.
~Kit

[missymaya]

Dear Kitsuneo6:
~ I'm a banana

[lauraelmore1033]

Dear kind ladies near the end of the line at the post office,
thank you for defending me when the harpie behind me accused me of cutting in line when I returned to the counter (as I had been told to do) with my customs slip. I hadn't cut in line and her five minute harrangue about how, "if we were in Mexico, you'd be shot!" was really quite upsetting. Being heckled by others in line saying, "I've got the gun! I've got my knife, etc..." was also very upsetting. But then, I'm such a delicate flower:( ... Thanks for shutting them all up with your cheery, "have a nice day!:) " as I slunk away in shame, even though I hadn't done anything wrong.

[Zen]

Jeeze, I thought I lived in a redneck mecca.
I wonder where this woman got her knowledge of the Mexican Post Office?

[Pax]

Dear co-workers,

Just a little heads-up, as the new person at work I find it decidedly UN-helpful when your way of welcoming to the new job is to give me all the details of who you hate here, why you hate them, and why working here sucks so bad. I'm new, let me enjoy it for a while.

Secondly, for those of you who continuously complain about how hard it is to work 37.5 hours a week for good pay, great benefits, AND in a protected civil service job...I suggest you try a job where you work horrible hours, have to clean up poop/pee/blood/barf, low pay, rotten benefits, and no raise for four years.

Sincerely,

The new gal

[silver]

Dear Germs,

You must be strong and healthy germs and i see that you all have found my body to be a good host for your party. I apologize that my immune system is giving you such a difficult time. however this playful roughhousing that you are doing in my head and abdomen and muscles is keeping me from making my May riding goals.

Do you think that you could possibly move your party elsewhere? My immune cells are tired :( :(

silver

[Kitsune06]

Dear Missymaya
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND GOOD.... !!!" :eek: :eek: :eek:

~Kit (http://www.planetholycow.com/video.php?vid=rejected.wmv)

[Zen]

Dear Group of Five Women Who Sit In The Back Row At Every Spin Class,

Please shut up during class. Your incessant conversations not only disturb the concentration of those who are actually trying to use this class for training purposes but it is rude and disrespectful to the instructor who is a very nice woman.

Whats the matter with you?

[crazycanuck]

Hey ZenC...

Why not ask them to go on a ride & see if they can keep up with ya..:rolleyes: I'm sure they'll show up with thier make up, purses & handbaskets.. Show dem who's boss!

*slinks far away*

C

[mimitabby]

thanks for letting me see the world through your eyes. It's ugly and bitter and mean spirited. YOu accuse me of things I"ve never done, and you misinterpret my every word and action in a nasty negative and often inaccurate way.

I'm sorry, I guess I can't ever do what you need me to do. I can't figure out what it is! I have tried but I can see it's a waste of my time because no matter what I try, it's going to be wrong.
I valued our relationship so much that I sought counsel with a best friend and our mother (who would really like us to play nice together) and all that did is piss you off worse. I didn't know there was a rule in relationships that problems should be dealt with in secret. I have never lived that way. I learned a long time ago that seeking counsel is a good thing. But for some reason you find it to be an outrage that I would dare talk about you with anyone.
YOu somehow confuse my husband's letter to you as having something to do with me. If I have anything to do with that letter at all, it was to tone it down.
It's amazing that this makes you mad too. You asked for it.
I am starting to realize that you have turned into a nasty meanspirited person who I really don't want to be around, but it's too final for me to actually say this to you, so I am probably going to let your last accusatory letter just sit.
your only sister

[trickytiger]

Dear Woman-On-A-Bike,

I see you riding every Tuesday near my neighborhood as I head to chem class in the morning- you're noticeable becase a.) you have the same jersey on all the time (me too, I'm poor) and ride the same route and b.) you look like you're having so much fun. You look new at it- your mountain bike doesn't quite fit you, and your handling skills are a little wobbly. However, I'm glad to see you every week, and to tell the truth, I'm jealous that you get to ride and I have to go work problems about partial pressures of atmospheric gasses. I also admire your courage to ride alone near traffic AND be new-ish.

Don't worry about the drivers too much- I already tore some old dude a new one when he threatened to run me over simply because I was following the rules of traffic and waiting to turn left (with my hand extended, signaling my intentions) when I was riding home from volunteering the other week.

I know I shouldn't cuss at old folks, even if they yell at me to get off the road and rev the engine while blaring the horn and inching towards my back tire. Since it appeared he received his driver's license sometime in the late 1800's before cars were around, maybe he just didn't know better. Or perhaps he couldn't see well enough to notice that I'm an actual living and breathing person. It's also quite possible that they were late to some crucial Bingo game in the culturally thriving metropolis of downtown Edmonds. I'm also sorry that his wife had to witness my outburst- she looked shocked that such words could emanate from a young woman.

However, I'm both sarcastic and Scottish, and I don't like being messed with. So, there is one less driver that will bother you in this area- he backed down when I got out my cell and threatened to call the police if need be to review Washington State traffic laws.

cheers!
-tricky

[Veronica]

Wow Mimi! What a bummer about your sister. Family is ... well family. I can't imagine having a tremendous rift with any of my siblings, even my redneck brother.

I cherish my sisters and at least one of my brothers :p and our relationships. My oldest sister, Valerie was diagnosed with tongue cancer in late March. Instead of coming to visit me over spring break, she had part of her tongue removed. When they biopsied her lymph nodes they found cancer in some of them so she is now undergoing chemo and radiation treatments. She's on her third week of 7 or maybe it's 8 weeks of treatment.

We've all rallied around her, my two other sisters and my two brothers, even Mr. Redneck. And the thing is... it would be that way for any one of us. When I showed up at a family reunion covered with bruises my brother threatened to kick my husband's a$$. I had to explain how I'd gotten each and every bruise from mountain biking. :p

Reading your letter to your sister just reminded me how lucky I am. Now which one am I gonna call...

V.

[maillotpois]

Dear Veronica -

Thanks for making me cry a little.


Dear Mimi -

I am so sorry. I don't really have sisters (long story), but I am sure this is very painful for you.

Dear Teigyr -
I just read the post about the pole dancing, Seven owning b!(ch and WOW. I'm sorry. Loser. :mad:

[mimitabby]

yeah, I guess that's life.

[Wahine]

...However, I'm both sarcastic and Scottish, and I don't like being messed with....

Dear Trickytiger. Me too. I swear it's genetic, we can't help our behaviour in these situations.

Dear V. Thanks for sharing. I have 3 siblings I feel that way about, the fourth, well...see below.

Dear Mimi. I understand. I have a sister I don't talk to, becuase I'm afraid of what I might say to her (see note to TT above), and it's all I can do to be civil. You can't choose you're family. It is soooooo true.

Dear Buddha of compassion, please guide me towards a place where I can see my sister's suffering and accept it as greater than I can ever understand and allow me to find some compassion for her, even though she self destructing and is messing up her own life as well as those of her children.

[mimitabby]

Dear other TE cool cool ladies
after having a good cry I told Raleighdon about my sister. and HE said
you don't have to answer her nasty letters and you don't have to shut the door.
a great weight was lifted from my shoulders.
So although i still have no relationship with my sister, and she's not going to
ever like me because of things I did when i was 13, at least I don't have to try to defend myself or tell her to go away. Just doing nothing...
ahh
thank you all. Some of it is surely genetic, but in my sister's case, she suffered a lot of abuse and neglect by adults but continues to blame me, another child/victim. ah well.
thank you. thank you all.

[sulis]

Dear driver of the huge white truck,

Yes, I heard you. How could anyone not hear that huge engine. And I have to admit that as I heard your truck behind me my first thoughts were of an aggressive driver barreling down the road - because lets face it, that is what most people associate with those big trucks. But you know, you definitely restored my confidence in humanity by doing what you did. Thank you for noticing little old me on my bike. (Although I have no idea how you saw me from your 4 story truck). But thank you. Thank you for recognizing that when the other car pulled quickly into the bike lane cutting me off, my only options were to either ram into the back of the car or swerve into your lane forcing you to hit me. So thank you. Thank you for being an attentive driver and giving me room to swerve over so we could all avoid a horrible accident.

Very humbly and gratefully yours

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I told Raleighdon about my sister. and HE said
you don't have to answer her nasty letters and you don't have to shut the door.
a great weight was lifted from my shoulders.

This is brilliant. Sometimes we just don't think of the obvious because we are too close to the situation. Can't see the forest for the trees, etc...
Isn't it great to have an intuitive partner? :p

[smilingcat]

DEAR BOSS-MAN!!!,

I DON'T APPRECIATE YOUR FREAKIN DOUBLE STANDARD!!.

SEVERAL COMPLAINTS!!!

1. THE ENGINEER ASSIGNED TO MY PROJECT WENT AHEAD AND CREATED HIS OWN VERSION OF A DESIGN WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND YOU ALLOWED IT. THEN YOU ALLOWED HIM TO INSERT IT INTO THE DESIGN WHEN THE DESIGN WAS TO BE FROZEN SOME TIME AGO. AND ITS OKAY??? IF I DID THAT YOU WOULD HAVE FIRED ME ON THE SPOT!!!!

2. I ASKED THE SAID ENGINEER TO ATTEND A FINAL DESIGN REVIEW WITH THE CUSTOMER IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU TWO LEFT FOR A STARBUCK RUN. BOTH OF YOU COMPLETELY IGNORED ME!!! THE SAID ENGINEER SHOWED UP DURING THE LAST 5 MINUTES OF THE IMPORTANT MEETING. AND ITS OKAY?? YOU WOULD HAVE READ THE RIOT ACT AND FIRED ME ON THE SPOT!!!

3. I'M NOT IN COMPETITION WITH THE SAID ENGINEER. YET HE IS TRYING TO PROVE HE IS BETTER BY DESIGNING HIS VERSION... BTW IT FAILED MISERABLY DURING TEST. AND YOU ALLOW IT. "ITS OKAY!!" EXCUSE ME!!!!

I DON'T GET IT.... okay I do get it after 20+ years in engineering company. It's the good 'ol boy club. I don't get invited to weekend b-b-q, I don't get invited to coffee run with the boys. I don't get invited out to lunch with the boys, I really careless whas under the hood of those pee-pee extender cars.

THEY STILL DON'T GET IT AFTER HAVING TO PAY OUT $$$$ FOR LAST SEXUAL HARRASSMENT LAWSUIT.

I AM SO SO SICK OF THIS PLACE.. NO WONDER I'M HAVING HORRID MIGRANES EVERY WEEK.

ALMOST DONE WITH MY VENTING... THANK YOU!!!

almost time to sell my house, move up to Whidby Island with my roomie (her first home was built there with the help of her dad, a contractor). Buy a decent size plot and put up a cute little pre-fab for us, the two dogs and five cats. Return to our hippie lifestyle. GRRRR!!!! Oh and install solar electric and solar water heater... Just need well water, septic tank and a propane tank out in the back oh and a telephone line/DSL.

[deedolce]

Please shuffle the states around so Texas is a bit closer to California, so it would be easier to get together with my tandem Captain and enjoy his intelligence and humor...and climbing legs. :p

[northstar]

Dear Supervisor of DH:

I know you two are meeting tomorrow about the expat job. C'mon, pick him. Send us to China for a year. I can snag a teaching job while we're there and would be able to ride my bike all year round. I'd love to learn some Mandarin and it would be hilarious to see my parents in Hong Kong if they'd come to visit us. Plus we've always wanted to live abroad...I feel like this is our chance.

We want to go! Pick us! Please!!!

[salsabike]

Dear Mimitabby,

I have thought a number of times that you are one of the kindest, warmest, nicest people I've met recently. I have thought that when we've met in person and I often think it when I read your posts. I am sorry that your sister is not able to see through her own stuff to realize what a good-hearted soul you are. I'm glad the rest of us know it, though.

PS I have a difficult sister too, who does similar stuff to me. You have my total sympathy, believe me.

[Trek420]

Dear Teigyr -

I just read the post about the pole dancing.

I am so sorry you had to deal with that. Take that lil' pretentious Seven owning (sorry Bikerz, you are not like that and you deserve a Seven) b*itch out to the local hills and ride her legs off.

Also trying to think of the snappy retort like "Oh, tee hee, you'll know about gearing, equipment and how :rolleyes: you sound saying that your Seven was maaaaade for you (because they all are) when you ride as much and as well as I do"

Dear Mimitabby, Sorry about your sister.

Dear Siblings, One of whom may read this :p Thanks for being my siblings.

[chickwhorips]

Former PITA,

What has possessed you to decide to show up in front of my building to "talk" to me? I am so glad I took the bridge from the parking garage and didn't go through the front door. I have no idea how long you were waiting, but I could guess considering you started calling my office phone starting at 6 am. Your borderline stalker at that point.

I am over you. Done. Fin. No mas. We both made that quite clear through the last few emails. Maybe the fact that all of your emails are blocked from my accounts mean something to you also. Which you know this because you mentioned you couldn't get a hold of me any other way.

Lucky for you, this morning I didn't expect you and you had the upper hand. Now, I have the upper hand and I'm p!$$ed. I am not afraid of you, and if you want a face to face confrontation, that is what you will get. If you didn't get the hint from me turning back around and leaving the building this morning that I don't want to speak to you, if you try it again, trust me, you will know.

Sincerely,
A very empowered girl
who you don't want to mess with

[mimitabby]

good grief, Chick,
call the police! that's scary!

[crazycanuck]

Hey CWR-

Do you carry a cell phone with you? Do you have an emergency contact person in Anchorage to help you out?

Please ensure if you do see dork boy again that you call the police.

I don't want to hear bad news about our CWR from Anchorage ok.

Sending Kit(& X)'s boot up to Anchorage should be a last resort.

Take care of yourself & be safe.

C

[chickwhorips]

I do have a cell phone that I have with me. Yesterday I was walking in with my friend, which helped. Today there was no sign of him. If that means he gives up, good. He either A) got the reaction he wanted or B) realized I don't want to talk.

[Veronica]

Dear School Board:

Thank you so much for changing your policy regarding water related field trips one week before our field trip. I am sure that there are many legal issues involved. Now teachers need to check the ages of the life guards employed by the pool or water park? Of course you know that those places employ high schools students, not all the lifeguards will be 21 years old.

Why didn't you just have the guts to make the policy say what you really wanted? You don't want water related field trips. Just freakin' say so!

It was especially kind of you to change this policy after several schools had already made end of the year plans.

Idiots!

[Veronica]

Dear Nasty Child in the Red Van,

Clearly you have no manners. I hope you parents enjoy your teenage years.

[Veronica]

Dear Drunk Man in the Truck,

Don't make chicken noises at a woman as she is riding her bike down the road - particularly this woman, because I will confront you.

Clearly you're an idiot and a loser.

[Veronica]

Dear Fire Marshall;

I want to know if you will be measuring the surface area of my classroom walls to determine if I have more than 50% of them covered?

[mimitabby]

um, Veronica is on a roll! :D :D :D :D :D :D


Dear Self
bright yellow shells DO NOT protect you from the rain.
If there is even a SLIGHT chance of rain on your commute, CARRY a RAINcoat.
you have a good one.

Thank you.

[Zen]

Dear Drunk Man In Truck,

If you don't want to spill your beer, don't mess with Veronica. She carries dog spray. Which also works on vermin, I mean humans.

[kiwi girl]

Dear person who stole the computer and front light off my bike while it was parked outside the gym

What do you intend doing with a cycle computer without the wires?
What do you intend doing with a front bike light without the bit that attaches it to the bike?
Why did you put me in a position of having to choose between pushing my bike home (about a 45 minute walk , including through some dodgy areas) or riding in the dark without a light?

[crazycanuck]

Dear Flu.

Go away :mad: I'm tired of hacking & coughing plus it's hurting my head.

Go away flu, go away..shoo!

C

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear person who stole the computer and front light off my bike while it was parked outside the gym

What do you intend doing with a cycle computer without the wires?
What do you intend doing with a front bike light without the bit that attaches it to the bike?
Why did you put me in a position of having to choose between pushing my bike home (about a 45 minute walk , including through some dodgy areas) or riding in the dark without a light?

That's like the person who stole ONE glove from my helmet once. They didn't notice the other glove that was cushioning my frame against the metal pole, so they didn't get THAT glove. So...what the heck are you going to do with ONE GLOVE?? Ruined a brand new pair I had JUST BOUGHT. I figured it was a teenager. Obviously whoever stole your computer has no idea how they actually work.
When I lock my bike up outside a place, I now take my helmet, gloves, the main part of my bike computer which snaps on and off easily enough (because clueless kids would find it too easy and tempting even though it won't work without all the other parts), and my dog pepper spray (partly because I don't want to get sued if some kid sprays themselves while I'm not there!), and my lock key of course. At least I can toss it all into my helmet and carry it inside with me. The things we have to do.....:(

[Scarlet]

Dear Lottery Balls
could you please make sure you are lined up this Saturday ready to be picked in MY ORDER............... so I can stop going to work and have time to ride my bike,
Oh yeh and make it a few million for the jackpot cause one aint enuf!!!!!

Scarlet ;)

[shadon]

I thought it was so cool last year when you introduced me to the staff, by first telling them about my having done the AIDSLifecycle to LA. And as the days went by we "fell in love" as we realized what a perfect match I was for the job you had.

But....(isnt there always a 'but'), telling me to relax when I bring concerns to you...not aknowledging my my concerns about my performance...and finally freezing me out for a week....just isn't right.

Now..i'm gone from the job I hoped to retire from...this feels as bad as loosing a relationship. Now...I know for a fact that there's no one doing my job and someone else is gonna be faced with the very same mess I was.

Thanks...for nothing.

[chickwhorips]

Dear xPITA,
Who is still a very large PITA!!!!! I guess in your little mind its nice to set up a gmail account and have spam and other things go to it and have that account fwd to my other account so I get tons of Spam and useless junk. How old are you again? So I understand your hurt that I'm not there anymore. Well I'm not. I have moved on and I'm happy with life. Get over it! Its your fault in the first place why I left. Acting like a teenager (or who knows what) to make yourself feel like a bigger person is just annoying. You really need some sense knocked into you. Right now, I wish I had that baseball bat to knock that sense into you. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
Idiot.

[Xrayted]

Ok CWR... so when should Kit and I come up there and kick his shins in? Is tomorrow too soon? Gawd, what an idiot! :mad:

Keep on doing well and being happy in your life. That is the best revenge. :D

[Zen]

Can I come to that party too?

First it was stalking, this is harassment. It seems like there should be something you could do about this...

[lauraelmore1033]

CWR
I've been following your thread with growing concern. This guy is a stalker by any definition of the law (at least here in Washington State...). Here's a link for an organization that helps those being harrassed online that might be a good starting point: http://www.haltabuse.org/help/question.shtml . There is NO excuse for what he is doing.

[crazycanuck]

Dear dork teenage boy(s) on the Roe Hwy bike path,

I saw you & the three other boys run accross the path & up into the bush this afternoon. I wondered what you kids were doing & also thought you may have just come from bothering traffic over by the highway but thought nothing of it.

I thought it was rather funny to see you run down the embankment & towards me with your toy gun & say "pow pow". What an idiot! Do you really believe that i'm going to stop & tell you to **** off? Go play with your barbies ok.

I do hope that the next person you bothered stopped & gave you hell. I'm not that stupid to stop-there are four of you & one of me..*loser*

If i ever come accross you again, i'm calling the police. You do know motorists can probably see you from the traffic lights above the pedestrian underpass :rolleyes:

Not so CrazyCanuck on wheels
C

[mimitabby]

wow, I was going to write something funny here; but CWR, YOu need to talk to someone about this guy. (and change your email address, please!)
It's very scary to know that you are being stalked by a creep like him.

okay.

Dear Postal Carriers between here and Europe.
It is bad enough that the package I lovingly put together for my "adopted" daughter in Italy has not arrived after 5 weeks even though the postal clerk said it would take 7-10 days.
But why can't they ship tubular steel from England to my LBS so they can START to make my bike? Is there a black hole in the Atlantic ocean that all of my mail is falling into?
I'd sure like to see something reach its destination soon.
Thank you
m

[Trek420]

Dear Drunk Man and/or Moronic Teenagers with or without their parents nearby in truck,

Don't mess with Veronica. She will catch up with you on her bike.

Don't bother with that hill, it won't slow her down.

Don't try to outrun her, she has a longer range than your car/truck/SUV.

And good luck when she catches you. :D :p

Classrooms full of kids, buildings full of administrators, nothing stops her. She's a teacher and she's taking you to school :p ;)

Dear CWR,

I am worried. Any direct e-mail. or suspected forwarded from this jerk needs to be forwarded to "abuse@put_in_the_name_of your isp.com".

They can get his account/accounts closed. Some people just should not have a computer :cool:

Let the police and security at your building know. This idiot needs to get a life and leave you alone.

[mtbdarby]

Dear Lord,
I'm having a tough day here. Both my doggies are sick and I see a large vet bill coming my way with no easy solution in sight. Keep me focused and help me to make the correct decisions....


Merrill Area Public School System and the County Health Department -
I just need the form for dc signed saying you gave my son his kindergarten physical. It's not my fault you lost your paperwork but dc will not let him come if you don't sign the bloody form! I understand mistakes happen but please do your best to remedy the situation before I go postal....

Me again Lord,
Please be with my gf Gina. Her dad committed suicide and left no note. She's a new mom and the family leans on her for support. She lives 3 hours away and I can't be with her personally so I'm doing my best via phone. Take care of her cuz she's gonna have a meltdown soon and her baby needs her too. Send her some understanding, compassion and lots of healing vibes.

[chickwhorips]

Thanks girls. I did email gmail and tell them about the email address. I haven't gotten anything yet this morning, so maybe they closed the email account. If not, he knows I tried to retrieve his password for it so he knows I'm not stupid.

All I want is him out of my life. I'm starting to wonder if that's to much to ask for. And what do you do when the person who is harassing you is about 800 miles away by air?

[chickwhorips]

big hugs dar.

[Trek420]

Q: He's harassing you from 800 miles away by air yet he shows up at your work? I'd call the police.

Like I tell people who call to get their phone number changed "my safety concern is if they can't harass you remotely by phone, e-mail, will they show up at your door?"

He's shown up at the door.

Let the professionals take good care of him. :) or kit and x, kit knows where to hide the body ;) :rolleyes: :cool:

[mimitabby]

chick
not to be a pest, but can you see how serious these responses are to your situation? we're not kidding here.

[chickwhorips]

He happen to be flying through when he came into work. You have to fly through ANC to get to CDB.

[chickwhorips]

I know its serious, but he seems to be more talk (and annoyance) than action.

[Velobambina]

Please let me realize where all this loss and disappointment is leading me. Give me the courage, patience, and strength to surrender to fate and not react to the unkind, judgmental, vindictive people who surround me at work. Help me to do the right thing. Help me to keep my dignity in an undignified, unprofessional work environment.

[Xrayted]

CWR - do you work at the airport? NO! So, yes he is going out of his way to harrass and stalk you. I say let the local police know that he is doing this to you and get it on the record. When he shows up again, call them out and let them tell him to stay away. It is obvious by what he did when you were together that he doesn't respect you or what you had. He is not going to stop just on your say-so. You need someone in legal authority to put it straight for him. (remember your own advice to your little sis not so long ago?)

Take care and lots of love...

Mick.

[madscot13]

okay stalking in the state with the lowest person per square mile of the US? That is cr*p. And he is a loser. And you are awesome. Cr*p, losers, and awesome do not mix. Please remember that Chick who rips! Please don't sink to his awful level because you are better than that, keep the upper hand.:mad:

[Kitsune06]

Dear so and so...
I don't write *every day*... lord knows, I don't even write *every week* but just because you don't hear from me all the time doesn't mean I don't love you...
...and it doesn't give you license to say harsh things, either. You could always discipline me as a child with a look... so why did you always have to say such biting things? Did it make you feel better, like you have something accomplished, or said your piece? Is that it?
Thank God for selective memory. I'd completely forgotten a lot of what you'd said while I was a kid... until I found little bits of a journal I'd kept a long time ago. I repeated these horrible things as if they were empty, idle conversation. Truly hurtful things had become the norm. And I go on to wonder why I've gone through emotionally abusive relationships in my past and continually fear I will repeat my forbears' mistakes, fear hearing their words come out of my mouth without thought? You'd think that I'd know better, given my vehement dislike for such abrasiveness, but no... without thinking, I blurt these things and manage to hurt my own feelings and someone else's.
I don't ask you to be a nice person... just be accepting and warm, or leave me alone. You've done nothing significant for me since I was a cute little minor in your house. I moved away and you rewarded my efforts to contact you with hurtful words, intimidation and cruelty. I went through difficult times in my life and you comforted me with the silent treatment, telling me how wrong my decision making was, my happiness be damned.
And you wonder why I don't have this burning desire to go home?
My only real solace is the fact that you've finally ceased to ask about grandchildren. All it took was for me to tell you that my GF and I will keep trying. :rolleyes: A little shock treatment never hurt anyone, especially when it was merely a reciprocation.
Keep your bucolic fantasies to yourself. My kind of life isn't welcome there, and I will not sacrifice love, nor the freedom to hold my lover's hand and kiss her passionately in the street for what semblance of 'home' you will attempt to give me...

Sorry. Mutual rejection hurts.

[mtbdarby]

Dear Verizon North,
Quit fu@$ing with me! I have now reported you to the FCC (thanks Trek!) and feel much better now. But enough is e-freakin' nuff, you know?

I returned your stupid modem almost 3 years ago and you keep sending me to different collections agencies. ANY time I get the chance, I will forever tell people of my bad experience with you and highly recommend they not use you. I hope the FCC bites you in the behind:rolleyes:

Now I must finish my drink and go to bed, but this issue always gets my blood pumping so I doubt I'll be getting much sleep tonight....

[bmccasland]

Dear First Castle,
YOU changed servers for the ATM, quit insisting the problem is with those of us who all happen to use the same bank off site. The problem isn't our bank, we know, we checked, the problem is with your cheap server.

Just wait until all the military guys find out. :(

If my card works everywhere else but here, why do you continue to insist that the problem is with my bank?

grumble grumble grumble

[mimitabby]

To the amazing powers that be

thank you for scheduling the arrival of my bike and the arrival of my new ruby sidi's within 24 hours of each other. I can get used to both at the same time.

I am filled with wonder that my color choices look so great for the new bike
and that you can GET ON a new bike (that fits) and immediately feel more comfortable (albeit on a new unbroken in seat) than you did on the old bike!!

rainbows and butterflies to all, current events be d@mned...

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Yay Mimi!!!!!!!! :p :p :p :p

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Aetna,

This is the second time I have endured a sinus infection because you wouldn't fill an allergy medicine without the 5 day wait to get paperwork to my doctor saying he really intended to prescribe it. My only joy is knowing that the $36 bottle of allergy pills you didn't want to fill is costing you an extra doctor visit and antibiotics. Sneeze on you!

[jeannierides]

To the amazing powers that be

thank you for scheduling the arrival of my bike and the arrival of my new ruby sidi's within 24 hours of each other. I can get used to both at the same time.

I am filled with wonder that my color choices look so great for the new bike
and that you can GET ON a new bike (that fits) and immediately feel more comfortable (albeit on a new unbroken in seat) than you did on the old bike!!

rainbows and butterflies to all, current events be d@mned...

Yayyyy Mimi!:p :p :p

[snapdragen]

Dear managers, directors and assistant directors. What is so difficult to understand about "not to life, push or pull more than 5 pounds". Why is it so difficult to understand, I CANNOT LIFT A 40 POUND CASE OF PAPER. Yes, I used to do it, guess what - I'm injured now. All I need is someone to come into the computer room once a week, check the inventory of paper/forms and replenish what is needed. Why must I provide a written inventory of what I think I use per week, and how often I need it replaced? If it's gone, I need more. Simple.

It shouldn't be this hard.

//don't get me started on the workstation evaluation that was ordered 3 weeks ago.

///snap - pizzed that she cried at PT today.

[Starfish]

Please remember that Chick who rips!

Aaaaaahhhhhh. Thank you!

I have always seen this as Chick Whorips. I've have been wondering what a "whorip" was! :p :o

Sometimes I do wonder what is the matter with me. :rolleyes:

[bmccasland]

Aaaaaahhhhhh. Thank you!

I have always seen this as Chick Whorips. I've have been wondering what a "whorip" was! :p :o

Sometimes I do wonder what is the matter with me. :rolleyes:

Yaaa!!! I wasn't the only one. :D :D
(I have trouble with personalized license plates too)

[lauraelmore1033]

to the pair of Paris and Nicole wannabees I passed on the Sammamish River Trail yesterday:

I know you thought you were being clever and funny as you critiqued my lycra covered behind as I passed you on the trail yesterday, but you really ruined my day. Thanks. You probably think that someone that fat and that old should not appear in public in lycra. You probably think a good dose of humiliation is just the trick for putting me in my place. Well, I have news for you; I wear appropriate biking attire for the same reasons thin people do: It is comfortable. It doesn't bind or bunch at the crotch. It doesn't have seams that rub me the wrong way where my legs touch the seat. It wicks away moisture which is important since a typical ride lasts several hours, and I am not overly fond of yeast infections and other forms of crotch rot. I do not wear it because I am under the impression I am "hot", or because I recently watched the tour de france and thought it looked cool. I'm sorry if it looks like I'm taking myself too seriously. I was riding alot faster than you...otherwise, you wouldn't have had the opportunity to comment.

I do take some small comfort in the fact that you will grow up someday and become self aware beings (hopefully) and you will cringe at the memory of what jerks you were.

[Dianyla]

I know you thought you were being clever and funny as you critiqued my lycra covered behind as I passed you on the trail yesterday, but you really ruined my day.
Maybe an appropriate response would be "Well if you don't like looking at it, maybe you should ride faster!" :p

[lauraelmore1033]

Maybe an appropriate response would be "Well if you don't like looking at it, maybe you should ride faster!" :p

The good comebacks always come when it is too late to do any good...

[Tuckervill]

Yeah, how about, "Try and keep up."

You'll be ready next time. I hope there isn't one.

Karen

[Starfish]

I know you thought you were being clever and funny as you critiqued my lycra covered behind as I passed you on the trail yesterday, but you really ruined my day.

The response:

To girls: "Well, at least I can tone up and lose weight. How are you going to grow a brain?"

To guys: "Well, at least I can tone up and lose weight. How are you going to grow your tiny pen**?"

[Trek420]

Dear womens bike clothing co's.

How about printing some snappy come-backs above on the rear of the shorts especially on plus sizes:

"Laugh all you want posser, I'm ahead of you!"

"Don't laugh, I'll crush you on the descent"

Dear TE, carry them, we'll buy 'em :)

And there's always the Churchill come back too, it's pretty close to Starfish's idea ;-)

[Starfish]

How about printing some snappy come-backs above on the rear of the shorts especially on plus sizes:
Dear TE, carry them, we'll buy 'em :)

How about: Kiss my lycra @ss!


And there's always the Churchill come back too

OK, OK, I gotta ask...

[lauraelmore1033]

Dear womens bike clothing co's.

How about printing some snappy come-backs above on the rear of the shorts especially on plus sizes:

"Laugh all you want posser, I'm ahead of you!"

"Don't laugh, I'll crush you on the descent"

Dear TE, carry them, we'll buy 'em :)

And there's always the Churchill come back too, it's pretty close to Starfish's idea ;-)

yeah, what she said!

[Starfish]

Or, on the top of the shorts, the classic:

"You lookin' at me!?!" (Insert De Niro voice here...)

[Trek420]

OK, OK, I gotta ask...

Story I read goes something like this.

Prime Ministor Winston Churchill is at a formal dinner, seating goes Duchess of such and such, Duke of Something, Winston, Princess so and so...boy girl boy girl and so on.

Winston gets sloppy drunk and Duchess of Somethingorother turns to him and says in shocked voice "Mr Churchill, you sir are drunk!"

To which he replied "That I am, and you Madam, are an idiot. And tomorrow morning I shall be sober"

I don't know if this is urban legend, somebody?

[Starfish]

"That I am, and you Madam, are an idiot. And tomorrow morning I shall be sober"

Aaah, thank you! I had heard that before!

[RolliePollie]

Dear CalTrans,

As if I don't feel priveleged enough to live in a place where the 4-lane interstate highway has three sets of stop lights through downtown, I just felt the need to express my appreciation for the way you have so graciously set the timing on the eastbound traffic signal at Spring Street during your never-ending road construction project. Tonight, it took me 35 minutes to go approximately 1 mile. It is so generous of you to allow three cars to go through the green light before it turns red again. And it so gratifying to sit at that red light and watch not a single car take advantage of the 5 minute long green that you have set up for the non-existent cross traffic. And of course, I must also mention how much I love the angle at which you have hung the temporary traffic lights from wires strung across the highway. Since it is impossible to see if the lights are red or green until you're actually in the intersection, you've provided the perfect opportunity for drivers to test their reaction time. My groceries, including my melted ice cream, had so much fun flying all over the car as I tested out my anti-lock brakes for the first time.

Sincerely,
One of the Sheep

p.s. Please tell the County DOT that I also thoroughly enjoy the cracked, pot-holed, bumpy, and missing pavement on our community's roads. My favorite are the cracks so big that goatheads are growing out of them. The green of healthy goathead weeds growing right in the middle of the lane really adds to that pastoral charm so highly regarded in our region.

[oxysback]

The good comebacks always come when it is too late to do any good...


Tell me about it. I thought of a doozy after a car full of teens hollered about my big butt a few months ago.

"I've lost more weight than your combined IQ's."

To which they'll most likely reply, "Huh?"

Point made.

[spokewench]

Well ladies, I did used to have GIANT plastered across the back of my lycra clad butt - I was sponsored by Giant and they put it on the back of the shorts! :confused:

[Zen]

That IS unfortunate.
What were they thinking?
Sideways up or down the leg would be less demeaning.

[ShubieGA]

That's what started my quote - as I am living Large:) , and trying to lose some weight. Cycling has given me the impetus to do that. I am trying to get over the idea of my tummy and butt in lyra. But at least we are all out there - rolling along! Just remember that some folks brains are the size of a pimple on the left n*t of a very small flea! :D

[mimitabby]

Dear CalTrans,
Tonight, it took me 35 minutes to go approximately 1 mile. It is so generous of you to allow three cars to go through the green light before it turns red again. And it so gratifying to sit at that red light and watch not a single car take advantage of the 5 minute long green that you have set up for the non-existent cross traffic.

p.s. Please tell the County DOT that I also thoroughly enjoy the cracked, pot-holed, bumpy, and missing pavement on our community's roads. My favorite are the cracks so big that goatheads are growing out of them. The green of healthy goathead weeds growing right in the middle of the lane really adds to that pastoral charm so highly regarded in our region.


Hey Sara, you can call them and complain. Sometimes someone will come right out and adjust the signal!

[teigyr]

I'm sorry if it looks like I'm taking myself too seriously. I was riding alot faster than you...otherwise, you wouldn't have had the opportunity to comment.

I do take some small comfort in the fact that you will grow up someday and become self aware beings (hopefully) and you will cringe at the memory of what jerks you were.

Not everyone comes to that realization but we can hope. I guess I get some small consolation in that they must be really unhappy somewhere in there...imagine their lives if that is all they can comment on. Insecurity perhaps?
And actually in many ways they were insulting themselves! The person they were making fun of them was actually passing them. I'd say they were probably too stupid to realize that but then that'd be judging ... :o

We were on that trail on monday! On sunday we were on the Centennial, the theory being that Sammamish and the B-G would be crazy due to Seafair folk.

[indigoiis]

Dear So and So.

If the city is going to repave the street outside of our office, and the only access to our parking lot is from another parking lot on the cross street, then please could you not park your big giant trucks in our parking lot, taking up all of our spaces and blocking the entrance?

Crikey!

(Wishing I could bike to work, if it were not for the freaking stupid law that one cannot bike over the bridge to get here.)

[TexanCzexican]

(Wishing I could bike to work, if it were not for the freaking stupid law that one cannot bike over the bridge to get here.)

Same thing is happening over here, except my building is getting a giant fountain.

I'm still trying to figure out if I can reasonably ride to work--there are bike racks a few buildings over (can't bring bike into building) but I can't figure where I'm going to change clothes at--my work would sh*t if I changed in the buildings bathroom.

[mimitabby]

Same thing is happening over here, except my building is getting a giant fountain.

I'm still trying to figure out if I can reasonably ride to work--there are bike racks a few buildings over (can't bring bike into building) but I can't figure where I'm going to change clothes at--my work would sh*t if I changed in the buildings bathroom.

who cares what you're doing in the bathroom??

[TexanCzexican]

who cares what you're doing in the bathroom??

My office is....different. I get looks when I go in to brush my teeth during lunch.....I also get funny looks for eating snacks at my desk. We are a very foo-foo office with high end people coming in, anything that would make us look less than stellar is frowned upon.

[mimitabby]

My office is....different. I get looks when I go in to brush my teeth during lunch.....I also get funny looks for eating snacks at my desk. We are a very foo-foo office with high end people coming in, anything that would make us look less than stellar is frowned upon.

Stellar=healthy... flaunt it. I don't suggest prancing through the atrium in your bike duds, but don't be intimidated. In fact, talk to someone in power, get their approval. I'll bet you can!

[dex]

Dear Former Co-workers,

I don't know if the empty desk or Farewell Happy Hour were any indication, but just in case they weren't: I don't work there anymore.

Part of my not working there means that you can't call me to solve your problems. Also, you can't e-mail me with screenflows or use cases and ask for solutions to sticky issues. In addition, I'm no longer available to meet with your product people over coffee to walk them through the process framework. Speaking of the process framework, that's no longer my responsibility either. Don't ping me with questions about how to structure your technology evaluations or the best way to communicate the results.

Let me reiterate: I AM NO LONGER EMPLOYED AT THAT COMPANY.

If you would like my further collaboration, input or instruction I would be happy to send over a Proposal for Work with my retainer fees as a consultant. Otherwise, unless you are calling to catch-up personally or invite me out to drinks socially, please leave me alone. I enjoyed working with many of you, but I left for a reason.

My pink mohawk and I are thrilled to be out from under the thumb of the corporate behemoth. We have no wish to return.

Thanks! :D
Dex

[lauraelmore1033]

Not everyone comes to that realization but we can hope. I guess I get some small consolation in that they must be really unhappy somewhere in there...imagine their lives if that is all they can comment on. Insecurity perhaps?
And actually in many ways they were insulting themselves! The person they were making fun of them was actually passing them. I'd say they were probably too stupid to realize that but then that'd be judging ... :o

We were on that trail on monday! On sunday we were on the Centennial, the theory being that Sammamish and the B-G would be crazy due to Seafair folk.
yes, it is hard to imagine happy people harboring such hostility toward total strangers who are doing them no harm. Trouble is, there are so many of these unhappy folk out there.

How did you like that Centennial trail? It's usually a lot less crowded than B-G, especially on the Arlington end. I usually make it up there once or twice a week

[indigoiis]

Dear Former Co-workers,

I don't know if the empty desk or Farewell Happy Hour were any indication, but just in case they weren't: I don't work there anymore.

Part of my not working there means that you can't call me to solve your problems. Also, you can't e-mail me with screenflows or use cases and ask for solutions to sticky issues. In addition, I'm no longer available to meet with your product people over coffee to walk them through the process framework. Speaking of the process framework, that's no longer my responsibility either. Don't ping me with questions about how to structure your technology evaluations or the best way to communicate the results.

Let me reiterate: I AM NO LONGER EMPLOYED AT THAT COMPANY.

If you would like my further collaboration, input or instruction I would be happy to send over a Proposal for Work with my retainer fees as a consultant. Otherwise, unless you are calling to catch-up personally or invite me out to drinks socially, please leave me alone. I enjoyed working with many of you, but I left for a reason.

My pink mohawk and I are thrilled to be out from under the thumb of the corporate behemoth. We have no wish to return.

Thanks! :D
Dex

oo. I want a pink mohawk and a big middle finger!

SOME day.
I will just do it.
I already downgraded to a sucky local cute little office job from corporate because i wanted less stress and to wear jeans to work BUT...

I still get the feeling that if I'd stuck it out in college, I'd be sitting in a different chair.

I should thank my lucky stars that someone pays me.

But at the same time, a pink mohawk would look really awesome on me.
And I dream of staying home on the farm and writing.

Note to self: buy powerball ticket at 7-11 tonight.

[teigyr]

yes, it is hard to imagine happy people harboring such hostility toward total strangers who are doing them no harm. Trouble is, there are so many of these unhappy folk out there.

How did you like that Centennial trail? It's usually a lot less crowded than B-G, especially on the Arlington end. I usually make it up there once or twice a week

I love that trail. We ended up going all the way out (Snohomish to Arlington) and then mostly back then out again. I like the latter part better than the Snohomish part just because it is less crowded plus there's that phantom hill thing going on. We got it up to 53 miles or so.

And yeah, tons of unhappy people out there. There are the self-righteous also (like Paris and Nicole) that just need to be taken down a peg or two. It'll happen.

I always used to be so betrayed when I'd see cyclist males picking up on giggling roller bladers on bike trails. I'd be thinking "hey wait...I'm doing 70 miles today and I'm greasy and sweaty and not cute but I'm TRYING". Fortunately now I just laugh at it instead of feeling hurt.

Anyway, let me know if you ever want to ride the Centennial! It isn't a bad drive at all from our house and it is peaceful compared to the B-G/Sammamish ones I normally do.

[Haudlady]

Dear Conference Call Organizer,

It was very frustrating to hear you talking the way you did today - I wish you were not so closed-minded about something that could be a very good thing. As an advocate for rights of people with disabilities, I was appalled to hear you say that you didn't want to encourage people to renovate a home to be fully accessible as "that's not what the market is looking for." You only want the home to be "visitable." Well, the way I look at it, the home is either accessible or it's not. The only way that the mainstream will accept a home with "one of those ramps out front" is if they become mainstream. If an advocate doesn't push for change, what the heck do they do? I think you, as the theoretical leader of this project, should take a longer view and be willing to take some risks.

I was very surprised to hear you refer to a fully accessible home as a "handicapped house." Language is powerful - although not everyone realizes it, YOU certainly should know that a "handicapped house" by definition, is a house that doesn't work.

I was happy when you seemed to listen to my point of view - when you acknowledged my comment that just because there is a minimum standard doesn't mean that there should also be a maximum standard. After all, I can use a ramp with my two feet (and it would make it easier to get my bike into the house); I don't have to have a disability to enjoy the benefits of accessiblity.

I was angry when I reviewed the 'minutes' you prepared for the conference call. None of my concerns or comments were included, yet your point-of-view was certainly expressed.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother... then I remember how important it is.

[HillSlugger]

Dear woman I shared a swim lane with,

I'm sorry we bumped elbows, it threw off my rhythm, too. You don't have to glare at me like it was wholly my fault. Grow up and keep swimming!

[Bad JuJu]

oo. I want a pink mohawk and a big middle finger!
I still get the feeling that if I'd stuck it out in college, I'd be sitting in a different chair.
I wish I had it in me to wear a pink mohawk. My big adventure this year has been to get a short layered spiky haircut and let my grey grow out--woooo, am I daring or what?:rolleyes:

But what I really wanted to say is that it doesn't matter what chair you're sitting in, indigo, everybody's got a boss, or at least someone to answer to. Think about it: even writers have publishers and readers, consultants have clients, anybody in business for themselves has to please their customers. It's just that some "bosses" (however you define that) are better than others.

On the other hand, that powerball ticket idea has potential! ;)

[Dianyla]

Dear Powerball,

Please? Pretty please?

:rolleyes:

[Kristi]

Dear Co-Workers -

Yes I ride a bike. And yes I do it for fun. I also hike and camp and fish. I know you're all a little less active than me, but this doesn't make me weird or crazy. It makes me healthy and fun!

According to all of you I only do this cause I'm from Oregon. Here's some news - being from Oregon doesn't make you a healthnut, a tree-hugger, or a hippie.

I do these things cause they're fun and good for you. You should pay attention and take some pointers.
:cool:

[Dianyla]

Here's some news - being from Oregon doesn't make you a healthnut, a tree-hugger, or a hippie.
Heh, too funny! :D

[RolliePollie]

Dear Vicious Dogs,

OK, thank you very much...I've had enough now. I get the idea. I completely understand your instinctual urge to chase. And the barking...yes, I know, this is how you communicate. You all have lovely sharp teeth. And the growling and frothing at the mouth are all very impressive. You all run very fast. I do recognize that it must take a lot of self esteem to feel confident in displaying such aggression towards a perfect stranger. But ENOUGH ALREADY! You're scaring me away from my favorite cycling routes. You're raising my blood pressure to near stroke levels. You're wearing out my heart...not to mention my legs. I'm losing my voice from all the screaming.

If you wanted to terrify me, you've certainly succeeded. If you think it's funny, well, it's not. Three terrifying dog encounters in two days is plenty. Soon I'll come to be known as the crazy screaming cyclist. Or perhaps as the crazy screaming cyclist who packs heat. So please, go home and enjoy the dog days of summer. And LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

Sincerely,
An animal lover who is currently not in love with dogs

[lph]

Dear Male Riding Buddy,

look, I adore you. No, not like that, but you're funny, smart, very kind and you know an enormous amount about biking that you're willing to pass on. We share the same drive and the same reasons for biking, to keep from falling over dead before our time.

But you also have a big, big mouth, and say the stupidest things about women sometimes. So it shouldn't really come as a huge surprise when I suddenly stop finding it funny and snap back.

So why the (insert expletive) are YOU acting all sensitive and hurt?? Yes, I did misunderstand you and over-react, but I apologized sincerely and immediately. And I came to talk to you and ask you out for a ride. That was four days ago, and you're still moping around being strange.

Just get over it, for crying out loud. I'm supposed to be doing these complicated relationship things with my dh, not you. My head is spinning, and all I want to do is go out and have a blast on our bikes without all this fuss.

[sulis]

Dear Guy in Truck:

Look, I know it wasn't intentional. But the fact is that you still hit my car, causing extensive damage. You were apologetic and admitted fault (which didn't matter because it was clearly your fault anyway) but still I was ok with you not getting a citation because people make mistakes. But now I need you to fess up when it matters. This has gone on long enough. Your truck is fine, my car is the one that needs to be repaired. I'm the one being inconvenienced here - no car, dealing with repairs, and having to front money for the repairs because you are not co-operating. Enough is enough - Please do the right thing and respond to your insurance company and mine...like yesterday!!!!

[DirtDiva]

Dear Daylight,

I'd like just a little more of you. A half hour or so more would be fine. Just enough so I can take full advantage of being home at four o'clock while I'm only doing casual work and get a good couple of hours out riding before dinner. Both bikes are frowning at me and I don't like it. :(

Yours,

Little Miss Impatient.

[crazycanuck]

Me too...Summer when are you coming to Perth???

Please come back soon..I'm tired of riding in the dark on my weekday rides..

C

[lph]

Dear Powers that Be,

Thank you for lightening up on me. Thanks for the sun in the morning. Thanks for giving me that little break at work I needed, and for smoothing out those social wrinkles that were bugging me.

I did notice, and I do appreciate it :)

[crazybikinchic]

Dear Intimidating, Pain in the *** Instructor,

Why are you so intimidating? Why are you such a pain? Do you not understand that people make mistakes that would not happen if YOU bothered to be up-to-date on your software? Better yet, do you not realize that some things are subjective because you and I might (and do) hear differently? I get it, you are old and do not remember what it is like to be a student taking 14 hours and working at the same time. Maybe you are just plain bitter. Just leave me alone!!! Let me pass, and I will be out of your hair in 6 weeks.

Yours truely,

Very frustrated student.

P.S. I would not be so stinking upset if this were not a stupid support class that is giving me more grief than my physics intense class.:mad:

[trickytiger]

I get it. I really do. See, I have these goals to accomplish: gaining admission to PT school, keeping afloat financially, publishing my work from my former life as a scientist, on top of taking pre-requisite classes AND working. Yes, it's a lot, and it's true that some days I wake up at 2am and freak out. So Fate, can you cut me a little slack? I'm busting my butt every single day and trying not to worry about what happens next, but it's that second part that gives me trouble. I'm not used to risk, and it's not comfortable. Help!

[Starfish]

Dear Drivers on that certain 50 mile stretch of highway:

Why, why, why can't you at least get up to the speed limit and stay there? Why can't you, when conditions allow, even dare to go just a bit faster, since the posted limits are so very conservative on that stretch? If you don't want to at least go the limit, why, oh why, can't you at least use the slow vehicle turnouts to get the h*** out of the way so that people who want to do the limit actually can? That is a law, too, you know. (And, staters, why oh why can't you enforce THAT law?) And, on the few areas where there are actually two lanes, why can't you actually use the right lane to dawdle along? Why can't you obey the signs telling you to keep right except to pass? (Again, staters, why can't you enforce THAT posted law?). Why must you simply flank the other slower-than-legal, holding-up-others drivers and create a defacto barricade to keep normal, good-driving-record, safe drivers from going about their business enjoying their drives and getting the heck down the road? Oh, and by the way, why is it that it is so often you slower-than-legal drivers who are wandering all over your lanes, and even crossing both white and yellow lines? (Oh, and staters, again, where are you for these displays of either absent-minded or plain cr@ppy driving?).

Grrrrrrrr. :mad:

[IFjane]

Dear Ex-husband,

Not that I did not already know, but you are now certified as a complete and utter a**!!! Twenty-seven year old daughter needs a stock certificate overnighted to her. Instead of just doing it, you go to the bank & get said stock certificate out of YOUR safe deposit box, drive to MY office & leave it on my desk with a note to OVERNIGHT it to her myself because you have to go to Charlottesville and DON'T HAVE TIME????? Like there is no place between here and Charlottesville to overnight a letter? And I have time to, when??? I'm working until 8:30 tonight, you jerk. Why not call and ASK?

What a piece of work you are.....:mad: :mad: :mad:

[sgtiger]

IFjane, what a pain! I would think in the same time that it took to take it to you that he could have taken it to the postal office/store instead and sent it himself. Has he always had control issues? Whatever, you're definitely better off without someone like that!

[Trek420]

Dear Real Estate G*ds,

Thank you for the recent effort lowering interest rates and such. Nice jesture but that doesn't help me.

That helps people with cash in hand to buy up homes at current fire sale prices. They don't necessarily need your help.

Right now I need you to help my neighbors stuck with ARM's, and therefore me too. Sure, I don't believe for a moment that they did not know what they were getting into. Tell anyone "your cost is $______ for the first year" and I hope the next question is "what is it the next year?". And you're going to say "It was all there in the 20,000 page document you signed".

My Dad taught me that the 30 year fixed what I should have, and I do. But if they don't sell, or sell but at blowout prices I'm trouble. We all are.

Sure nobody forced my neigbor to do a beeeyoooteeful job on her home, go buy another and now have two mortgages one rising monthly. But she did and if you don't make ARM holding banks help their customers nobody wins. When the bank takes possesion they still have to sell ... in this market.

Please fix this before I'm done with my remodel.:cool:

[IFjane]

IFjane, what a pain! I would think in the same time that it took to take it to you that he could have taken it to the postal office/store instead and sent it himself. Has he always had control issues? Whatever, you're definitely better off without someone like that!


sgtiger - Exactly! He passed I-don't-know-how-many places to send it (including his own office) before he got to me. For the record, we don't have the ability to FedEx or overnight anything from my office - so I left work, drove to the P.O. and stood in line to send it.

Yes, he has always had control issues, which is why I finally left. I AM much better off without him! :D

[salsabike]

Dear Mom and Dad,

My first Thankgiving without either of you is coming up. Won't be easy, since that was our big big family holiday. I just wanted you to know how much I miss you guys and what cool, smart, sane, loving, funny parents you were. We got lucky. Thanks.

Daddy, you will always be the Scrabble King of the Universe. Mom, I will always miss that hug.

Love to you. I miss you no end.

[deedolce]

Dear Male Friend,
I've finally realized that when I get bi*chy, and grumpy and pull away it's because I've picked up the myraid unconscious clues that you're developing feelings that have crossed the boundaries of 'friendship'. When you make suggestions of 'stopping by' my house to pick me up on the way to the group tennis game, or taking things personally and carry them from week to week if I don't compliment your shot, or apologize if I accidently nail you. Just brush it off, like we all do, and like you do for everyone else. Don't act hurt, don't drop hints of wanting me to ask you every weekend to ride, don't wonder if I'm mad if I walk off talking with someone else in our group and not wait for you. I'm not your girlfriend!!! You have a WIFE. Get her on a tandem. Worry about how she feels/thinks/does and leave me alone, thank you very much.

[lph]

(((Salsabike)))

Next one will be easier, I promise.

[nomummytummy]

Dear school kids - well I figure you are school kids. Why did you steal from my letter box? OK I could have taken the parcel out when I went to get the kids from school & pre-school, but it is exciting to find mail in the box for you when you are 5, so I left the parcel there for him to find. But no- 45 min later after going to 1 pre-school & 2 schools to collect 3 kids the parcel was gone from our mail box. Noone saw you so you are home clean. But a little 5 year old is now less innocent & naive as he know someone STOLE his birthday present from the letter box. You couldn't see our box from the street, but you came onto our property, opened the parcel & then threw the wrapping and cards into a hedge. You know that sux & karma means that it will happen to you one day too.:mad: I hope you recall the day you stole from a 5 year old who was still innocent and full of joy.

[nomummytummy]

OK now gratitude - thank you universe for our great life. We are so privileged to live here - with a beautiful view, so close to the city & yet so quite. Thankyou that I get to leave work at 2 each day to collect our 3 boys & spend the afternoons with them & they are happy, joy filled kids. thanx for my dishy DH who is supportive and makes lots of time for me to ride. I am so lucky:cool: thankyou

[crazycanuck]

(((( salsa)))

NMT-that happened to us in Auckland as well :mad:

Ok..

Dear Universe

Thank you for providing me with a wonderful kiwi man. He's been oh so extra helpful since i've been injured.

Muchly appreciated.

injuredcyclistgoingcrazy

[bmccasland]

Miss Daisy,
You are long since elegible to retire, WHY haven't you? Did you feel uncomfortable yesterday when we were hastling M because that meeting was his last since he's retiring, and he's 20 years younger than you. Do you really intend to die in your office? You're barely functionable, need a walker to get around, can't drive, can't even eat solid food. Have the good grace to retire. Please?

[bambu101]

Dear Extremely Obese Co-Worker,

It is bad enough that I am struggling to lose weight, but did you have to bring in FIVE bags of Hershey's Kisses this past Monday? There is milk chocolate, almond, hot chocolate, candy cane, and something else. Then you helpfully put them on the common table in our "quad" cubicle area so anyone can help themselves. When I complained, you had the nerve to turn on your desk fan and point it in my direction so that I could smell nothing but chocolate!

Thanks a lot.

Ps. Please skip the "cheese fudge" that you are planning on making and bringing in. Some awful recipe with Velveeta and cocoa and peanut butter!

[OakLeaf]

Dear Dad,

Get the f*** over yourself.

Love (not),

OakLeaf

[Blueberry]

Dear Mom and Dad-

Grow up. You were not parents to me - remember, my grandparents raised me?

You are not entitled to expect parenting from me. I will not loan you money the next time you buy a new truck and don't have enough money left for your house payment AND food. I will not make every decision in your lives for you. I will not bail you out the next time you ignore my advice and end up in a legal mess.

Grow up - you certainly made me!

CA