Dear So and So

[DebW]

Dear DGF's parents:
Hate to say it, but you have to grow up.
Your oldest daughter is almost 30 and still terrified of the thought that you might find out she has a gf.


May the day come soon when differences in sexual orientation are no more important than differences in handedness. And when beliefs are shaped by human kindness and scientific fact.

[Lise]

Again, thank you for inquiring about my services. Perhaps we can speak again when you acquire a horse. Preferably a live one.

Warmest regards,
Joy
HA! Thank you for that! Whew. I needed that chuckle. But now, the real question: Would you accept her dead, frozen horse as a subject? :eek: :D

Joy, is your avatar one of your paintings? It's beautiful. Do you have a website of your work? (I promise not to forward it to any demented rich people.)

[chickwhorips]

HA! Thank you for that! Whew. I needed that chuckle. But now, the real question: Would you accept her dead, frozen horse as a subject? :eek: :D

she can't ship it priority mail, so i don't think she would even try to send it.

[KnottedYet]

May the day come soon when differences in sexual orientation are no more important than differences in handedness. And when beliefs are shaped by human kindness and scientific fact.

Hear, hear. (I often use handedness as an example)

Interesting trivia: 60% of lesbians and 30% of gay men are left-handed.
(according to a Canadian study done about 5 years ago)

[Cassandra_Cain]

Dear Goddess...

Thank you sooooo much for propelling me up the 4000 feet to the top of the mountain last Saturday. I wanted to do it, but had some doubts, so this was a nice surprise.

Now, if it isn't too, too much to ask. I know, I know - I'm always asking for stuff...

One day can I have a date? Somebody nice, smart, honest, sweet, funny, and adventerous who isn't afraid of a very opinionated, leftist, outspoken, feminist, often volunteering, activist, bike crazy woman. Looks are secondary, chemistry a plus, flossing a must :D

[Kitsune06]

I wonder how that applies to ambidexterity?:confused:

[mimitabby]

Hear, hear. (I often use handedness as an example)

Interesting trivia: 60% of lesbians and 30% of gay men are left-handed.
(according to a Canadian study done about 5 years ago)

That explains that ! my husband often says that he's really a lesbian
in a man's body! (he's lefty)

[DebW]

I wonder how that applies to ambidexterity?:confused:

I think they divide it into right-handed and non-right-handed. So we lefties are claiming you for our team. I really wanted a left-handed child. All I got was two righties. And so far one is straight and one is undeclared. I can still hope.

[Bluetree]

HA! Thank you for that! Whew. I needed that chuckle. But now, the real question: Would you accept her dead, frozen horse as a subject? :eek: :D

Joy, is your avatar one of your paintings? It's beautiful. Do you have a website of your work? (I promise not to forward it to any demented rich people.)

Thanks Lise, I sent you the web site address vie e-mail.
And yes, I have painted many dead horses... all from photographs taken when they were still alive! :D

[Kitsune06]

That explains that ! my husband often says that he's really a lesbian
in a man's body! (he's lefty)
OMG. Hate to say it, but 9/10 of men I have ever met and actually spoken to on the topic claim that as well. ...A man who likes women does not a lesbian with convenient attachments make. ;)

[Nanci]

Um, Mimi? That's what my friend's husband of 25 years claimed. My friend ended up getting divorced from "Jenna," because she didn't want to be married to a 6'4" 260 pound lesbian.

[SalsaMTB]

Dear Livonia City Council

Thank you so much for protecting the crazy drivers from cyclist by having an ordinance so it's illegal for cyclist to ride in the road when there is a sidewalk present. Who know what kind of damage could occur to the vehicle if they were to hit a cyclist! I would think it could be extensive. It's nice to know that all the crazy, aggressive, impatient drivers in the city are protected from cyclists.

Also, I know Michigan recently dropped to the #2 spot of being the fattest state, so I thank you for doing your part to try and bring us back to #1. Hey, we need to get recognized for something, so why not for being fat. Forcing cyclist onto the sidewalk will definitely deter some people's motivation to commute and exercise.

I do have some recommendations though for you to make this a little easier and also to make a little extra money.

First, can you please start ticketing every single car that cuts off cyclist on the sidewalk as they wait to leave their driveways, side streets, etc? We're getting a little tired of slamming on our brakes every few feet because drivers don't realize a bike is coming to their left on the sidewalk

Second, can you please start ticketing all the cars that turn right on green, in the right had turn lane, and cutting off the cyclist trying to cross the street? Also, cars are constantly cutting off cyclists on sidewalks with all turns, not just at lights.

Third, please pass an ordinance to make it illegal for pedestrians to walk in the sidewalk. Think of the damage my bicycle could receive from hitting a person walking on the sidewalk. An impact of a cyclist going 15mph and hitting a person running/walking in the opposite direction could be quite severe. Anyway, isn't the grass there for walking on??

Fourth, can you please repave all sidewalks and make sure they don't continuously end in the middle of the grass? It really doesn't feel safe cutting into a busy road in the middle of a block, over a curb, because someone decided they didn't want to lay anymore concrete. Also, the sidewalk is extremely rough and damaged, it all need to be repaired. Riding on broken concrete just doesn't feel that safe.

Lastly, can you please tell the motor vehicles that I'm allowed on the road about every half of a block where the sidewalk doesn't exist? They seem to be getting a mixed message of cyclist being on the road at one point, then on the sidewalk, then on the road. Hmmm...not sure if they're motor vehicles are going to learn to share the road when you tell them bikes don't belong, just sometimes.

In summary, Livonia City Council, thank you for making my city the least bike friendly city around, encouraging obesity and road rage. Those cars really do need protection from crazy cyclists. I wonder though, how would a group of 30 cyclists in a pace line, cruising at 25mph, look on the sidewalk?? Look out joggers, there's a paceline coming through!!


Sincerely,

ROAD rider/Commuter

[mimitabby]

Dear Livonia City Council

Thank you so much for protecting the crazy drivers from cyclist by having an ordinance so it's illegal for cyclist to ride in the road when there is a sidewalk present. Who know what kind of damage could occur to the vehicle if they were to hit a cyclist! I would think it could be extensive. It's nice to know that all the crazy, aggressive, impatient drivers in the city are protected from cyclists.

Also, I know Michigan recently dropped to the #2 spot of being the fattest state, so I thank you for doing your part to try and bring us back to #1. Hey, we need to get recognized for something, so why not for being fat. Forcing cyclist onto the sidewalk will definitely deter some people's motivation to commute and exercise.

I do have some recommendations though for you to make this a little easier and also to make a little extra money.

First, can you please start ticketing every single car that cuts off cyclist on the sidewalk as they wait to leave their driveways, side streets, etc? We're getting a little tired of slamming on our brakes every few feet because drivers don't realize a bike is coming to their left on the sidewalk

Second, can you please start ticketing all the cars that turn right on green, in the right had turn lane, and cutting off the cyclist trying to cross the street? Also, cars are constantly cutting off cyclists on sidewalks with all turns, not just at lights.

Third, please pass an ordinance to make it illegal for pedestrians to walk in the sidewalk. Think of the damage my bicycle could receive from hitting a person walking on the sidewalk. An impact of a cyclist going 15mph and hitting a person running/walking in the opposite direction could be quite severe. Anyway, isn't the grass there for walking on??

Fourth, can you please repave all sidewalks and make sure they don't continuously end in the middle of the grass? It really doesn't feel safe cutting into a busy road in the middle of a block, over a curb, because someone decided they didn't want to lay anymore concrete. Also, the sidewalk is extremely rough and damaged, it all need to be repaired. Riding on broken concrete just doesn't feel that safe.

Lastly, can you please tell the motor vehicles that I'm allowed on the road about every half of a block where the sidewalk doesn't exist? They seem to be getting a mixed message of cyclist being on the road at one point, then on the sidewalk, then on the road. Hmmm...not sure if they're motor vehicles are going to learn to share the road when you tell them bikes don't belong, just sometimes.

In summary, Livonia City Council, thank you for making my city the least bike friendly city around, encouraging obesity and road rage. Those cars really do need protection from crazy cyclists. I wonder though, how would a group of 30 cyclists in a pace line, cruising at 25mph, look on the sidewalk?? Look out joggers, there's a paceline coming through!!


Sincerely,

ROAD rider/Commuter

Salsa,
If you take #3 out, (and renumber) you have an excellent letter that SHOULD be sent to your local newspaper AND to your city council. How pathetic!!!
(not your letter; the law)
mimi

[mimitabby]

Um, Mimi? That's what my friend's husband of 25 years claimed. My friend ended up getting divorced from "Jenna," because she didn't want to be married to a 6'4" 260 pound lesbian.

Nanci
you'd understand why I keep my confused partner if you read the thread "keep the bike and toss the wife" thread on bike journal. com.
He's Raleighdon.

m

[SalsaMTB]

Salsa,
If you take #3 out, (and renumber) you have an excellent letter that SHOULD be sent to your local newspaper AND to your city council. How pathetic!!!
(not your letter; the law)
mimi


Yeah, number three was a little tongue in cheek. It's a pretty sad ordinance. Our state law says we have the same rights as motor vehicles, but apparenly my city doesn't agree. I have personally never been pulled over, but yesterday a rider came into the store and told us he was pulled over by the police and told to ride on the sidewalk, so it is enforced lightly (no ticket was issued, justa slap on the wrist).

It has motivated me to try and get more involved!

[DebW]

Yeah, number three was a little tongue in cheek. It's a pretty sad ordinance. Our state law says we have the same rights as motor vehicles, but apparenly my city doesn't agree. I have personally never been pulled over, but yesterday a rider came into the store and told us he was pulled over by the police and told to ride on the sidewalk, so it is enforced lightly (no ticket was issued, justa slap on the wrist).

It has motivated me to try and get more involved!

Detroit, the Motor City. So are you going to run for City Council and change some priorities in your town?

[Cassandra_Cain]

Salsa - Geez Louise!!! I'm about right stunned by that note.

Illegal to ride on the road when there is a sidewalk present???!!

Sorry but, what the F*#K?!

Then hey, we have to make room for all those gas-guzzling, polluting, destructive, urban sprawl creating cars and SUV's. Wouldn't want some johnny or janey getting in the way :mad:

[chickwhorips]

that is really messed up salsa!

even though i don't live there it makes me want to write a letter!

stick it to 'em!

[SalsaMTB]

Detroit, the Motor City. So are you going to run for City Council and change some priorities in your town?

lol, one step at a time. I admit it, I'm not involved at all right now with local or state government. The whole process is pretty foreign to me, but there are cycling groups here who are active, so I want to start trying to get involved with them. Right now, I'm doing to research on the issue. It looks like someone requested it to be changed back on June 12. In the council meeting minutes of June 26, it says it was going to "refer this item to the Legislative Committee for its report and recommendation" and I have not been able to find any other information.

It lists the names of people who were involved, who made the initial request, so I'm going to start making contacts. Since someone just got pulled over the other day though, it looks like it didn't pass. I would like to know why though!

[SadieKate]

Avoid chocolate ice cream(s) as the cocoa inhibits Ca absorption

Dear Margo,

I know you mean well but quit spoiling my pleasure. I'm sure that the other medicinal benefits of chocolate more than make-up for the calcium issues.

SK
:D :D :D :D :D

[donnambr]

Um, didn't your governor recently sign a bill into law that makes some majorly positive changes to MI traffic law as it pertains to bicycles, which includes language that forbids municipalities from enforcing such ordinances?

Of course, this is one of many reasons why I left metro Detroit 10 years ago... My parents stopped riding their bikes in SE Michigan altogether. They're retiring to the U.P., which is far more bike friendly, and that's where they ride. Sad.

[Kitsune06]

Seriously, Salsa, It was likely passed due to a decent amount of lobbying by GM and the other detroit-based motor companies. Hooray for gas-sucking America!

[SalsaMTB]

Um, didn't your governor recently sign a bill into law that makes some majorly positive changes to MI traffic law as it pertains to bicycles, which includes language that forbids municipalities from enforcing such ordinances?


Not sure. I found an article from July about that. It mentioned a bill, but it did not say if it passed. I am really unfamiliar with government, so I have no clue how long it takes for something to pass and afterward, how long to take effect. I'm contacting our league of michigan cyclists to find out the status on the bill. Let's hope it passed so we don't have to deal with these crazy ordinances anymore!

[Bad JuJu]

Salsa, while you're doing your research, send that letter to your local paper right away, and I wouldn't even delete #3. Maybe your paper has a guest-column feature on their op/ed page, and this letter would be perfect for that. It may alert other citizens to the injustice you're concerned about.

[chickwhorips]

dear TE,

thank you so much for shipping out the new saddle so quickly! you guys have the best service ever!!!!

a loyal customer

dear weather gods,
please stop down pouring and be light on the winds tomorrow so i can enjoy my new saddle.

thank you,
the girl that lives with the weatherguy.

[mimitabby]

To whom it may concern:
thanks for holding back on the hurricanes so that my DH is now on his way home from the gulf coast instead of having to live there this month.

and thanks for the gorgeous weather we've been having here in the northwest.
Is it too much to ask for just ONE MORE day? just asking.

Mimi

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear Margo,

I know you mean well but quit spoiling my pleasure. I'm sure that the other medicinal benefits of chocolate more than make-up for the calcium issues.

SK
:D :D :D :D :D

Just sprinkle some TUMS on your sundae. :p

[Lise]

Dear People Who Ride With The Helmet Hanging From The Handlebars:

Have you already sustained a traumatic head injury? I cannot imagine any other reason why you would make such a grievous error in judgement. You get on your bike. The helmet's dangling off the handlebars. You think...what? "It looks so pretty, I'll just leave it there"? Why wouldn't you put it on your head?!? Helmets prevent 80% of traumatic head injuries. I don't know how well they protect your handlebars.

Perhaps I shouldn't care about your questionable decisions. But it bothers me. SHEESH.

Signed,

Worried About Your Brains

[Selkie]

Lise -- I've seen a lot of "helmet hangers," too. Usually on hot days. Then again, without fail, I usually see at least one doofus without a helmet either on their person or on their bike every time I'm out riding. More often than not, an IPOD is plugged into their ears and their bike handling skills are the pits.
I doubt they have much grey matter, so worrying about their brains, while generous of you, is probably futile. Maybe it's a Darwin thing.
I've also oftened wondered about people who ride without shirts (men) or chicks who just wear skimpy running bras when riding. Imagine the road rash if they were to wipe out.
Speaking of which, this summer, I saw a chick wearing a bikini top while riding her bike. A couple days later, the same chick, in the same skimpy bikini top, was jogging, holding her bouncing bosoms as she went down the trail.
Then there's the girl who bikes in shorts that say "hottie" on the back. No lie. Amazingly enough, she doesn't wear a helmet either!

[Lise]

A couple days later, the same chick, in the same skimpy bikini top, was jogging, holding her bouncing bosoms as she went down the trail.
:eek: :eek: :eek:

Holding her bosoms?

Again, I say, :eek: !

Not at all surprising that "hottie" doesn't wear a helmet. She's looking for a man rich enough to provide all her care when she's on the vent after her traumatic head injury. oooo! hiss! ;)

[Xrayted]

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Holding her bosoms?

Again, I say, :eek: !

Not at all surprising that "hottie" doesn't wear a helmet. She's looking for a man rich enough to provide all her care when she's on the vent after her traumatic head injury. oooo! hiss! ;)


I agree with Lise - :eek: :eek: :eek: !

Maybe she should hold out for a talented plastic surgeon so when they finally stretch down to her waist, she can get 'em hiked back up for free... Until then, it kinda makes it tough on the mammo tech. :( :)

[chickwhorips]

Speaking of which, this summer, I saw a chick wearing a bikini top while riding her bike. A couple days later, the same chick, in the same skimpy bikini top, was jogging, holding her bouncing bosoms as she went down the trail.

heaven forbid you wear normal workout gear that would get in the way of your tan!

on that note: glad i'm so pale and my skin hasn't seen sunshine since last december!

[Kitsune06]

um...
Is there anything so wrong with wearing a regular sports bra/top for biking in hot weather?

Sure I won't MELT or DIE if I wear a regular t-shirt, but as long as I'm wearing my helmet/glasses/gloves/hydropack, I'm not sure that I'm in any MORE danger for what I'm wearing (or not wearing)

...and YES, the ladies are properly restrained. :rolleyes:

[Lise]

I think it was more the:

skimpy bikini top
and

Imagine the road rash if they were to wipe out.

Although I know that the clothing I wear wouldn't give much protection in a real wipe out. Lycra and polyester. It's not exactly leather! And thank goodness for that. :cool:

[Kitsune06]

I DO have nice 'battle scars' on my hydrapak from crashes. Generally, as long as I have that stuff (and I usu. wear baggy shorts for short rides. I like lycra, but feel sorta exposed) I feel pretty protected...

along with the 'Dear So and So'...

Dear DGF,
Thank you for riding with me far further than we'd ever gone together this weekend. You look SOOOOOOOOOoooo good in your new helmet, with those hot red sun glasses and endearing smile. You say I have a helmet fetish, but I just see you being safe and looking happy, and it makes me happy.

Yes, it DID make me giddy when you looked at the sandy humps around our campsite and said "It'd be WILD going over those on our bikes!" I just love the idea of you really enjoying what I so love.

You rock so much.
-Foxna
PS.
I'm winning!

[Brandy]

Dear teachers and administrators at my 8 year old's school...

He's been homeschooled for the last three years. He's going to take some time to adjust to the classroom environment before he's comfortable performing for you...assessing him on the very first day of school when he's never been in a classroom before is not going to give you an accurate indication of where he is academically. Give him some time and do your best to help him adapt to this huge transition...I trust that once he's comfortable there, he'll do just fine academically.

[mimitabby]

Hey Brandy, in 6 months when your son is totally adjusted and doing fantastic the school system will re-test him and then they will say "look how much we accomplished with this child in such a short time!"



To whom it may concern.
Thanks for the amazing weather display. We woke up to a wet street and the smell of rain. We drove to pick up our friends in a downpour.
Then we headed to Enumclaw at the foot of Mount Rainier where we did our
practice ride for the uphill race we are planning in october.

The sun was out, the temperature was perfect! it never rained on any of us..
Thank you!

[Brandy]

Hey Brandy, in 6 months when your son is totally adjusted and doing fantastic the school system will re-test him and then they will say "look how much we accomplished with this child in such a short time!"


Oh mimi, you're so right. I have no doubt that they'll take the credit. Whatever...just be gentle to him and ease the way, that's all I'm asking of them.

[mary9761]

so when they finally stretch down to her waist,

Too late for me... I resemble that remark already... :( :eek:

[CyclChyk]

Dear Bike Gods/Powers that be/ANYBODY WITH PULL:

Please give me the confidence and ability to ride my bike so quickly and so effortlessly and so EXPERTLY that I finally shove my DH's words down his throat and make him EAT MY DUST cuz I keep riding circles around him!!!

Oh, and please give my DH the strength to deal with the humilitation of defeat..........

... oh its coming....... its just a matter of time. ;)

[Xrayted]

Too late for me... I resemble that remark already... :( :eek:

hehe... Getting there myself. Here's a pic before I took up biking. :rolleyes: :D :D :D (Hope it works)

[mary9761]

hehe... Getting there myself. Here's a pic before I took up biking. :rolleyes: :D :D :D (Hope it works)
ROFLMAO!!!

[chickwhorips]

Dear Bike Gods/Powers that be/ANYBODY WITH PULL:

Please give me the confidence and ability to ride my bike so quickly and so effortlessly and so EXPERTLY that I finally shove my DH's words down his throat and make him EAT MY DUST cuz I keep riding circles around him!!!

Oh, and please give my DH the strength to deal with the humilitation of defeat..........

... oh its coming....... its just a matter of time. ;)

ditto except DBF instead of DH

[mary9761]

Originally Posted by CyclChyk
Dear Bike Gods/Powers that be/ANYBODY WITH PULL:

Please give me the confidence and ability to ride my bike so quickly and so effortlessly and so EXPERTLY that I finally shove my DH's words down his throat and make him EAT MY DUST cuz I keep riding circles around him!!!

Oh, and please give my DH the strength to deal with the humilitation of defeat..........

... oh its coming....... its just a matter of time.

ditto except DBF instead of DH

Make that ditto X3 for a male FRIEND!!!http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a361/mary9761/My%20Smilies/happythoughts.gif

[Dianyla]

Dear brain,

Dairy, granola, and 3-bean chili all in one day? What were you thinking?! :eek:

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear brain,

Dairy, granola, and 3-bean chili all in one day? What were you thinking?! :eek:

Too funny!!

[Kitsune06]

Too funny!!
Plus side to working where I work-
10'x20' room, all by myself for 8 hours.

Minus side to working where I work-
10'x20' room, all by myself for 8 hours.
*glances around for someone, anyone to blame it on.*

One of those days you need a dog to follow you around.
Dogs- they take all that blame, and only ask treats and leftovers as payment.
:D

[Duck on Wheels]

Dear shipping company,
Geez! Will you get it together already?! I've waited three weeks while you sorted it out which one of you companies was supposed to handle the final stretch. Then you waited for the check from them to actually reach your bank (another week). And now you say you have to wait til next week when you've got a truck scheduled to do the drive? It's an 8-hour drive, for gosh sakes, between the first and fourth largest cities in the country, and you only send a truck up once a week?
Sigh.
At least be careful not to damage my bike! I expect to be over my bronchitis by the time it gets here and I don't want to have to wait out repair time before riding it!
Duck on Wheels.

[DDH]

Dear powers that be,

Help me learn and become confident in my new bike and my own ablities quickly, so we can ride the rodes with confidence and speed. I love the speed. Help me to like hills!!! :eek: Cause thats all I have around here. LOL

[crazybikinchic]

Deat legs,

Thank you for putting up with the 10 mile headwinds, up hill. Thank you for tolerating me going all out for the nearly 20 miles that followed. Thank you not being sore today.

Dear rain gods,

Thank you for raining all day today. We need it sooooo much.

Texas girl

[tygab]

No, you do not look cool riding on the side of the road, against traffic, with no helmet. Oh yes, I forgot to mention you're wearing dark clothes at dusk (and you don't have a light) and appear to be listening to music. I can understand why you think you might, in your baggy jeans and laid back attitude.

But you're really risking your life every time you ride like this. A helmet, some lights, taking the headphones off - this seems like common sense when biking in a car populated world. Riding on the right side of the road, maybe not something you would guess is the right thing to do, but if you learned a bit about your chosen transportation, then you'd know this too....

Signed, a concerned cyclist and car driver.

[Xrayted]

Dear idiot woman in the mercedes who p***ed me off today...
Thanks for being the free spirit that you are by throwing caution to the wind when we came upon a 4-way stop with a skittish horse in training, attached to an Amish buggy full of kids. Thanks for not understanding when we decided to allow the horse all the time he needed to calm down and resume peacefully so we didn't get hoofed to death crossing the road. I especially appreciate all of the horn blowing and expletives out the window regarding how we are holding up traffic. (You were the only car around so I'm not sure that constitutes a line being formed. :confused: ) It certainly made and impact on us and I know it made the horse so much more comfortable with his ultimate decision to bolt in our direction. :eek: The fact that we didn't get trampled amazes me still. Now I have a nice gash in my leg from falling onto a good friend of mine and her bike. My first fall, thankyouverymuch. (I thought it would come when I finally get my clipless pedals on, but no this one is all on you, oh Diva of Mayhem.)
Not being from this area, I'm sure you may not have understood some of the language I was using as I limped over to your window for a close encounter of the dangerous kind. All I can say is, try Google, it knows all. If you can't quite remember all of the commentary, feel free to come on back around and I'll remind you again.
Have a nice day! (Here's your sign.) :) :)
-X.

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Woman With the Boxer,

If your dog is so mean that it will eat a small dog you might want to reconsider having it in an apartment complex. I realize my little Heidi should not have pulled away her leash, but I was chasing her down. She is simply a social butterfly and we have tried to teach her all dogs are not friendly. I felt bad enough without being scolded by a complete stranger.

Sincerely,

Glad to be moving to my own house with a fenced yard

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear OTHER woman with the boxer,
You may think there is nothing wrong with chaining your boxer and your rottweiler to trees right in your front yard about 12 yards back from the road we ride along, as you informed me "they are on my property so I'm within my rights" when I came up to politely talk to you about it and you closed your door in my face.
But the fact is, your vicious dogs are barking and snarling and throwing themselves against their chains and collars with all their might when we pass on our bikes, threatening everyone on the public road, and one day their collar or chain may snap and from my hospital bed, covered with skin graphs, I will sue your sorry moronic a** for everything you've got. :)

[Squeaky]

Dear Losers Who Fish, Picnic, or Otherwise Populate the Banks of my River,

It's not a dump site you lazy SOBs and I don't appreciate kayaking amongst your filth. I'm surprised you can get your pathetic lazy butt off your couch. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Bad JuJu]

Dear Losers Who Fish, Picnic, or Otherwise Populate the Banks of my River,

It's not a dump site you lazy SOBs and I don't appreciate kayaking amongst your filth. I'm surprised you can get your pathetic lazy butt off your couch. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Hey, Squeaky, don't sugar-coat it--tell us how you really feel! ;)

Seriously, we've got the same problem here with people who boat on the bay and pull their boats up on little sand-bar beaches--leaving their crap all over the place when they go. It sux, big-time. Who do they think is going to clean up after them? Wonder if they'd like me to come along and leave trash in their yard like that. I'm with you, Squeaky: :mad:

[Squeaky]

I know, I get soooo mad about this. It's one of the few things that gets under my skin. And it did feel really good to vent.... :D

[Bluetree]

Dear Cycling Buddies,
Thank you so much for introducing me to the sport and helping me along in my initiation. You guys have been a constant inspiration to me and the best support group I could ask for, outside of the TE gals.
I know that when you guys ride with me (and I always appreciate your invitations) you are "slumming." Unlike you guys, I do not compete in Ironmans, triathlons, Xterras, ultramarathons, Death Rides, etc. I know that you are chafing at the bit to get moving, instead of doddling along at my 16-17mph clip. Instead, you do your 2,000 ft climbs before we meet, join me for my flat 30 miles and make sure I'm home safely before you finish the rest of your training ride.
You guys give me helpful hints, teach me the rules of the peloton, give me encouragement when I need it, spur me on when I feel lazy and generally protect me when I'm on the road. I don't mind the teasing because it shows that you have included me into your "club." And it does not go unnoticed that on windy days you ride so that you are blocking the worst of the wind for me. Dan, James, Jim and David... you guys rock.

[jsgeneroso]

Dear Digestive Tract,

I know that things have been hairy for us lately. Even though Reason claims absolute bliss for having found "the one" and the prospect of living together would be sooo much easier and just awesome until we get hitched and bike into the sunset. Please don't let parents filling the brain with seeds of doubt and disapproval get you all bent and twisted because it is mostly painful and uncomfortable to constantly feel anxiety over the future, life changing and the two of us moving on and no longer being the parent's little girl. Life changes and it will be okay.

Your Mind.

[li10up]

Dear Boss:

Please don't ask me in the middle of the day what my plans are for after 5pm. I have a life...doesn't the bike on the back of my car give a hint as to my plans? But thanks for not making me stay after 5pm just to sit in your office so you can feel "safe" interviewing a female prospective employee. Especially since I already did the initial interview last week. However, anytime before 5pm is ok....or at least a days notice.

Thank you,

Partially dedicated employee :)

[Bikingmomof3]

Dear Dr. V.,
I know you have my best interest in mind, or at least you do not want me having another stroke on your watch. I get that and I appreciate it. I took the "no driving" instructions rather well, did I not? When I mentioned cycling 3 times and words such as "intense" and "training", what part did you miss? Is there a reason you decided not to share with me the very important (IMO) information that my already low BP would drop to points where I will faint? A little heads up on the fainting business would have been greatly appreciated. Especially considering I kept telling you how important exercise, especially cycling is to me. For the record, outdoor biking and fainting do not mix!

I am fairly certain down the road I will be eternally grateful to you for fixing my brain, but right at this moment I am too weak from a low BP and depressed from a lack of cycling to care.

Your grumpy patient.

P.S. See you on the 18th, when we will discuss cycling in depth.

[mary9761]

(((((Jennifer)))))

[chickwhorips]

dear out of town hunter,
your not in the city any more your in the bush, middle of no where, BFE. there is no need to speed around. most people when they see someone out running with dogs would so down. do you? NO. yes i have well behaved dogs (not that you know that) that stay next to me and sit, but what if they jumped up for one reason or another (you flinging a rock at us as you speed by) and get infront of the car? arg! the farthest you can drive here is a whopping 10 miles, your not going to get there any faster unless you fly. speeding down the road doesn't work. the roads aren't build for that out here and the speed limit is only 25 and less then that in 'town'. your lucky it was my boss that rented you that car or else you would've had a flying rock at you. you deserve more than just a kick in the shin too. just go home and leave us alone. we don't need 'your kind' here anyhow. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
a very angry runner with dogs.

dear community people,
thank you for slowing WAY down (at a crawl) and going WAY over on the other side of the road and waving at me. i'm glad i live around people with you who look around for the dogs even when i'm not out with them. you always slow down and wave so nicely.
your fellow community memeber

dear peanut (dog),
STOP ROLLING IN STIKEY STUFF. arg! i gave you a good scrubbing and you still stink! i understand you think you smell pretty, but really, you don't. (or is it your way of saying i need a bath?)
your loving mother

[indysteel]

Dear Guys:

I realize that our club's membership reflects that cycling is male-dominated and that you get excited when a young-ish, single woman like myself shows up for group rides. But I am not chum. I come to the rides to ride, first, and to make friends, second. If you're cool with that, then great, but otherwise please stop circling.

And while I'm on the subject, you gentlemen at my local LBSs need to bone up on your manners. Please do not use the phone number I give you to place an order to call me for a date. Next time that happens, I'm calling your manager. And please don't comment on how wonderful I smell. I suppose I should appreciate the compliment, but it's unprofessional. I come to your store to shop, not to get hit on.

Thank you.

[mimitabby]

Dear Guys:

I realize that our club's membership reflects that cycling is male-dominated and that you get excited when a young-ish, single woman like myself shows up for group rides. But I am not chum. I come to the rides to ride, first, and to make friends, second. If you're cool with that, then great, but otherwise please stop circling.

And while I'm on the subject, you gentlemen at my local LBSs need to bone up on your manners. Please do not use the phone number I give you to place an order to call me for a date. Next time that happens, I'm calling your manager. And please don't comment on how wonderful I smell. I suppose I should appreciate the compliment, but it's unprofessional. I come to your store to shop, not to get hit on.

Thank you.

Dear Indysteel
I agree with you. What a bunch of jerks
enjoy it while it lasts but don't take any bs from them.

mimi who is twice your age :D

[indysteel]

[QUOTE=mimitabby;130991]Dear Indysteel
I agree with you. What a bunch of jerks
enjoy it while it lasts but don't take any bs from them.

It's hard to know how to respond. I don't exactly have the general male population falling all over me and, having just gone through a break up, a little attention doesn't hurt my ego. However, there must be a way to be approached by men that doesn't leave my skin crawling. Why can't they just treat me as a friend and let it grow--if it's going to grow--from there? Oh, and the exact quote from the LBS manager was that I "smelled delicious." I about died.

[Kitsune06]

Dear prospective employer

You had a pretty, friendly voice, and you sounded very nice, but if you're going to call me about the ...inter...w...p...ce...ss please, don't call me on your cell phone when all I can hear of your phone number is 5....3.....3...5....0... because now I'm climbing the walls freaking out that you want to hire me and I can't even call you back. My phone even recognizes you as 'unknown caller' so I can't even get your number that way. I'm sorry. I don't want to seem unprofessional, not calling you back, but I just don't have your number! My resume has my email address on it- please, use that! 99.9% of the time, I get the full email!

ok, sorry...
please call back.
Sincerely,
R....ie... N....m...

[Bluetree]

Dear Idiot Film Crew,

While it may not be the ideal way to spend your Sunday morning working, please be aware that to cyclists, Sunday mornings are the ideal time to ride...fast. So while I understand you have to work, I cannot fathom why your set-up crew would be carrying large items (i.e. conference tables, tent poles, camera booms) onto a popular bike path without first looking to see if anyone was coming.

Did you not learn to read while in film school? It's painted B-I-K-E-P-A-T-H underneath your feet. Every ten feet or so. The signs say "Watch for cyclists" at every crossing. Do you not notice that surfers stop and look both ways before crossing to get to the ocean on the other side? Did it enter your mind that setting down cables in the middle of a bike path is not a good idea? Probably not. Just because you are from the self-absorbed, narcissistic, adolescent-stunted fantasy world called the Hollywood Entertainment Industry does not mean that you are entitled to carelessly endanger the lives of other people.

To the out-of-shape smoker guy who walked out from a blind stairwell with an 8-ft. conference table... Just be glad that I'm slow and was able to brake in time to avoid a collision. Had it been a 20-strong elite paceline, your face would have found out how angry fit men can be when their $8000 bikes get trashed. Dumb*ss.

P.S. Pick up your trash before you leave.

[oxysback]

Dear Dog Owner,

Please keep both hatches on the back of your SUV locked. It was very terrifying for my 13 year old daughter to have to fend off the attacks of your dog to our little pug. I realize that you were enjoying the baseball game and were totally unaware of what your dog was doing, but now you have instilled a fear of dogs in my daughter, who came home in tears. I only hope that it hasn't ruined our pug, who is very social with any dog she comes across. You are very lucky that no one was hurt. My husband and I would have had no problem tracking you down. Why would you bring your dogs to a lovely park for a ball game and leave them in the car, anyway?

Signed,
A Concerned Mother

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear Husband,
Thank you for being so patient and cheerful when we ride together. I know you can ride way faster than me, get up steeper hills, ride longer hours. But you never ever speed ahead out of my sight, and you often ride behind me on purpose, often asking whether I want to ride in front or in back.
Today, I peddled up a steep hill that I usually go all the way into Granny gear for. But today I purposely went up that hill in one gear harder than the granny gear just to push myself. You stayed behind me on the hill, and I didn't think you would notice that little detail, but when we both reached the top, you passed by me and whispered "Way to GO, Sweetie!".
Thank you for telling me that when you bought your now 11 year old bike, before you ever knew me, you had dreamed of riding it along sunlit woodland gravel roads with the one you love, and that your dream had now come true.
Thank you for endlessly explaining the mysteries of BIKE to me, showing me how to fix and adjust a hundred things on my bike, and for never getting annoyed when I ask for the 4th time in a month which way we turn at that same intersection.
Thank you for being the best life partner AND the best biking buddy a girl could have.

[quint41]

Dear Municipal Bicycle Pathway Authority:

Thank you SO much for building the beautiful, paved bike path that you finished several years ago. Would it be too much to ask that you take a street sweeper to it once in a while to clear off the branches, rocks, broken glass, sand, and other miscellaneous crap so those of us with road bikes can use it again? Is it possible to maintain the surface to eliminate the cracks and grass growing from them?

Thanks again!

Your Community Bicycle Riders

[Kitsune06]

Dear sweet, kindhearted dayshift lady:
There are reasons why I don't make a great security officer. One of them is that I'm just too trusting. A nice lady hands me a big plate of food from the potluck today, and I don't question it. Sure I look it over and give it a quick sniff test, but eh.
Lady, thank you so much- it was so good. Frozen dinners are $$ and I never seem to bring enough, so that plate of assorted potluck items was incredibly welcome. I miss the kind of hot dishes and pasta salads Mom used to make because of all the bachelorette kibble and pizza we've had recently and some of these ladies are just excellent cooks.
thank you thank you thank you!
-Officer Fox

[Xrayted]

Dear Mother Nature: thanks!

[Xrayted]

Dear guy at the LBS last night who asked me out after trying to impress me with his BMW: :confused: No thanks!

[mimitabby]

Dear Municipal Bicycle Pathway Authority:

Thank you SO much for building the beautiful, paved bike path that you finished several years ago. Would it be too much to ask that you take a street sweeper to it once in a while to clear off the branches, rocks, broken glass, sand, and other miscellaneous crap so those of us with road bikes can use it again? Is it possible to maintain the surface to eliminate the cracks and grass growing from them?

Thanks again!

Your Community Bicycle Riders
Dear Quint41. I have had excellent luck with CALLING the city of seattle and complaining about glass on the side of the streets where I ride. One time they cleaned it the very next day.
So call them! good luck
Mimi

[Offthegrid]

Dear Fat,

I know I have welcomed you for many years. You have been a constant companion, and I welcomed your shelter. But I don't need you anymore. You need to move on, and promptly.

[doc]

Dear Mother Nature: thanks!

Ditto

Ride today was sunny and started at 50 and went to 60 degres

[CyclChyk]

Dear Powers That Be and Skinny Goddesses:
I don't know what I have done to offend you but not having lost any weight these last 3 weeks really sucks the big fat one and I'd really appreciate if you accept my sincerest apologies and grand me pardon so that the weight loss will again begin. I promise, if it tastes remotely good I will spit it out!

Oh and God, if you really are up there, thanks so much for everything you've given me. Even tho I am still a fatty by my standards I got it pretty gosh darned good.

[Kitsune06]

Dear neighbors:
Thanks for the party.
Dear judgement:
Where WERE you when I was handed the 2nd jello shot of 151?
Dear girlfriend:
As purveyor of the poison, it's only fair you feel worse than I do, but I hope you feel better... sweety? dearest?
Dear former coworker: It was good to hear you went out, too, but bad to hear that you got sick, too... here. Yuck yuck yuck, I thought I got away from that.
Dear Ronald: Thanks for cheap cheeseburgers with assorted animal parts in them to quell my grease craving.
Dear stomach: thanks for putting up with the abuse. I mean it.
Dear butt/thighs/etc: Forget it. the cheeseburgers aren't for you.
Dear boobs: Why are you always the 1st to go AWOL when I lose any % of body fat?

[Nanci]

Now that I have made the final decision to purchase my first long-distance-store-bought snake, please answer my e-mail, don't sell her to anyone else, and don't sent me the wrong one by accident!

OMG, I can't believe I'm going to do this. Happy Birthday to me!!

Nanci

PS, I already have a name picked out...

[CyclChyk]

Tangent - and that name would be........?? And what kind?


PS, I already have a name picked out...

[Xrayted]

OMG, I can't believe I'm going to do this. Happy Birthday to me!!

Nanci

So you thought you'd just sneak that in there did ya? hehehe

[Bikingmomof3]

Now that I have made the final decision to purchase my first long-distance-store-bought snake, please answer my e-mail, don't sell her to anyone else, and don't sent me the wrong one by accident!

OMG, I can't believe I'm going to do this. Happy Birthday to me!!

Nanci

PS, I already have a name picked out...

So you are buying the snake for your birthday! Good!

[Nanci]

The guy still hasn't written me back, after confirming I could buy the WRONG snake!! She's a Nelson's Milksnake.

Yeah, since probably no one else is going to buy her for my birthday, despite my demands- I'll do it myself!

She was bred in captivity, but in the wild they live in Nayarit, Jalisco and Michoacan states of Mexico- kind of central Pacific. I would name her Inez!

Nanci

[Bikingmomof3]

Nanci-
I hope Inez makes a speedy trip to your home.

[CyclChyk]

well even tho Inez (cool name BTW) may turn out to be NOT the snake you WANT, is any snake a WRONG snake? I paid for a chiwowwow, got a daschuahua, and love him every bit as much.......

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.............

[Nanci]

Inez is very expensive. Well, probably if you put her in bike terms, she'd be about like a $1700 road bike- not a Huffy, but definitely just above entry level in terms of what _could_ be spent.

WAKE UP!!! READ YOUR E-MAIL!!

The other snake is a normal cornsnake, with some cool hidden genes. But I already have a normal. If I was getting another corn, I'd probably get a Bloodred Stripe.

WAKE UP!!

[Bikingmomof3]

Ah the suspense. I am not good at waiting. Let us know what this person says about Inez. I do so hope she has not sold to someone else.

[Fredwina]

Dear co-worker:
Once again , you are promoting your changes to the test team at the last minute. Yes, you have spent all day testing the program. So what is first e-mail when I show in the morning: Same Programmer, same program, same problems, but another change:rolleyes: Well. I lied. They usually wait till the next deadline and then flood my in box. Such joy. Nothing like think thought your changes and consulting the users. As far testing, you do realize who actually maintains the test environments? Yes, that would be Moi. And don't forget not to coordinate your changes with us, so I can spend all day today redo all my work from yesterday:mad: Maybe I should dust off the old resume.

[KnottedYet]

Dear US Voters,

Thank you for voting. I don't care who you voted for or what issues you voted on, I'm just grateful you got off your butts and voted.

[Xrayted]

Dear US Voters,

Thank you for voting. I don't care who you voted for or what issues you voted on, I'm just grateful you got off your butts and voted.

Here, here! Very nicely put.

[Bad JuJu]

Dear US Voters,

Thank you for voting. I don't care who you voted for or what issues you voted on, I'm just grateful you got off your butts and voted.
Roger that.
And to all of you (including me) who were able to ride your bikes to your polling place and did, WE ROCK!

[chickwhorips]

dear brain,
shut up and relax. there is nothing you can do right now. enjoy whats going on now, don't worry about what's going to happen in the future.
thanks

[KnottedYet]

dear brain,
shut up and relax. there is nothing you can do right now. enjoy whats going on now, don't worry about what's going to happen in the future.
thanks

I hear ya on that one!

[mary9761]

Dear Maniacs on the MONON, GO AWAY!!!! I want to feel safe riding the MONON, not have to worry about thugs beating me and leaving me for dead or worse yet shooting me now that you're pulling guns on people! :eek: :( :mad:

[Xrayted]

dear brain,
shut up and relax. there is nothing you can do right now. enjoy whats going on now, don't worry about what's going to happen in the future.
thanks

I like the way you think. Take it easy, relax and have a nice vacation, CWR. You deserve it. ;) :D

[chickwhorips]

thanks x i really need to hear that. :)

[Kitsune06]

*sniff, snerk* is that Chanel? Eh! Do what you can to take care of yourself, hon, the rest will follow.

[Keely]

Dear Mother Nature,

Thankyou for the beautiful weather we're are having at the moment, but... we are in the middle of a drought, please send rain! Can you please send it at night or in the afternoon... I would like to be able to enjoy the beautiful spring sun on my morning rides.

Keely
in very dry Australia

[salsabike]

Dear Mother Nature,

Please send Keely our weather. Thank you.

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Investor,

Thank you for choosing our new neighborhood to purchase a brand new house to use as a rental. I realize renters are not always bad, but I don't want a bunch of investment property on my street. I can't wait for a new neighbor every year. :rolleyes: Maybe they will be the type who don't take care of anything and trash the place- that will help property value. :mad: I hope someone buys the house next door to you for the same purpose.

Sincerely,

Loving my new house but not YOU!

[Dogmama]

I once purchased a home and allowed the sellers to rent it from me for a couple of months until I could sell mine and they could find a place to move. Within those two months, they completely trashed it. :mad:

Never again.

[Xrayted]

Dear real world:
Please quit slappin' my friends around! They deserve better than that. Just leave 'em alone to live, love and be loved. ((((you know who)))) ;)

Thank you.

(don't make me have to talk to you again on this subject)

[mimitabby]

Dear Mother Nature
Please send Keely our weather (I second that!)

Mimi

[Kitsune06]

Dear Real World;
I second X. She might be from PA but she's got that German Farmer Girl mentality, and so do I so you better shape the **** up or you're going to have at least a couple GFGs on your butt and that does NOT = happy times.

Why can't you be more like the "happy fairytale" world we were raised with as kids, in which movies like "Over the Hedge" work because the raccoon doesn't eat the turtle and squirrel, the skunk doesn't eat everything that hasn't sat still too long and the porkies don't smell worse than the skunk in everyday life?

oh, and enough already with the hangovers. I said I didn't get them and you proved your point. Geez.

Thanks. I mean it.
~Aryn "GRR!" Fox

Dear Chanel-
Could you make a perfume that smelled like that clean sweat smell? I'm not talking BO cuz that'd upset people, but something that had that "just out of the gym, and I'm hot and sweaty yet so maul me, Tiger" appeal? I'd be *so* on it. So would all the chicas who like their menpeople and chickpeople all hot and sweaty after a hard ride or hitting the gym. Eh? Eh? You could make big bucks.
*sniffs!*
~Aryn "Whuffle" Fox

[paigette]

Dear coworker's assistant-

Look, honey, I get that I'm a newbie to the organization, but I have 4 years of full time experience in this type of position. I'm sorry you applied for this position & they didn't select you.....take that up with the people who did the hiring! And being the constant "yes" woman to your boss is really pathetic & may be why you were not selected for this position.

Thanks,

[mary9761]

“I don’t condone obesity, but I don’t think we all need to be a f—king size two. It’s a ridiculous goal. You know what’s important? Living well and not being consumed with eating boring salads that you hate.”
-- Katherine Heigl

I LOVE IT!!!

[paigette]

I LOVE IT!!!

It was in People this morning! In a summer Prevention article(yes, I read a lot) she had mentioned her family were all larger people but emphasized that they were healthy....so yeah....I'm loving her right now!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear Bike painter, UPS handlers, & Bike shop who will be putting it together in the end,

Please please don't make any more mistakes that will mean yet MORE disappoints and waiting by my poor DH who has been patiently waiting for his new bike for 5 months now. First there was the 2 month delay because of false promises of frames being available by August. Now, just when we were to pick it up finished and ready this weekend....Bike painter made a mistake with the wrong color...now it has to be sent back across the entire country AGAIN to repaint, then back again East. UPS please don't bash this bike up while throwing it off trucks while it's traveling across the country 3 times instead of once.
And Bike shop, please don't lose or misplace the no-longer-made parts that my DH painstakingly located from various parts of the world and gathered and sent to you in anticipation of the right color bike arriving this week (and which is now on it's way back to the opposite far coast again for yet another 3 weeks). Watch over that box and don't let anyone open it and mess with the stuff inside.
My DH is such a wonderful man and so kind and gentle. All he wants is one nice bike. He deserves to not have to suffer any further disappointments than there already have been! Already there are precious few days left to ride this season before the snows fly.
Please don't let anything else go wrong! :o

[Keely]

Thanks Mimitabby and Salsabike,

We got your weather! Today it has been 10 degrees C with rain, hail and snow it's supposed to be the end of spring!! We needed the rain, so, thankyou Mother Nature!

Keely

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear New Neighborhood Residents,

Please read your homeowner's association rules. DH and I picked a neighborhood with a homeowner's association so it wouldn't look like trash. You just moved in last week as well, please be considerate.

Thanks,
Cranky New Homeowners

Dear Mom,

Thanks for painting my kitchen and living room. I am so happy everytime I come home!

Love,
Your Favorite Daughter

[mimitabby]

Thanks Mimitabby and Salsabike,

We got your weather! Today it has been 10 degrees C with rain, hail and snow it's supposed to be the end of spring!! We needed the rain, so, thankyou Mother Nature!

Keely

Dear Keely
I am afraid you did not get OUR weather. We don't have hail or snow, but today it was raining buckets and there is a wind warning for the whole day. So this incredible low system is still here!!
They even might have to shut down some bridges because the wind is so strong. But I am really really glad that you got the rain you need so all the little critters and plants will survive the season.

Mimi

[Duck on Wheels]

Dear DH,
Thank you for stacking paper and wood in the oven in the morning. If I get home before you all I have to do is light a match, chuck it in, and shut the oven door. In minutes the whole house is toasty warm. :) Sorry I then promptly fall asleep and let the fire go out so you have to start it all over again an hour later. :o
Your frozen duck

[mimitabby]

Dear Miss Manners
My sister is again rehashing my husband's behavior from last christmas. We have already been through it all, and as a result he and she are still not talking (she lives in another state). She wants him to apologize, and he feels that she hurt him very badly by telling ME that he was not welcome in her house. So he is expecting an apology, and she is expecting an apology too. Fortunately for me, HE does not talk about this stuff, but SHE wants to rehash everything again.
She even suggested that I am being insensitive to HER feelings... argh..

I am torn between wanting to fix everything and stay on good terms with both of them. I really hate to remasticate old prune pits.
what should i do?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I am torn between wanting to fix everything and stay on good terms with both of them. I really hate to remasticate old prune pits.
what should i do?

How about telling them both that for whatever reason, the old garbage is fouling the air and needs to be cleaned out- therefore, if they BOTH write a simple apology note or phone call to the other....this only works if nobody is allowed to try to tell the other that they were wrong, or why they were upset, or start bringing up the whole scenario again.
Just a simple non-judgemental apology and move forward: "I'm sorry that I may have said or done things to upset you. Can we start over?" If you can get them on the phone and make them each read out that sentance (and nothing more), perhaps they can both start fresh.
The problem persists when one person continues to try to prove the other one wrong. It's old trash that needs to be thrown out already.

[Duck on Wheels]

My Iranian refugee friends have brought with them a splendid tradition for tossing out old trash like this. Some weeks before New Years (Iranian New Year, which is in the early Spring) you plant lots of seeds in pots -- grass seeds, watercress, stuff that greens up fast. On New Years you throw them all out as a symbol of last year's resentments and transgressions, gone, done, over, forgettaboutem. I'm sure there's more to it that this bare bones version, but it does seem a refreshing idea.

[mimitabby]

How about telling them both that for whatever reason, the old garbage is fouling the air and needs to be cleaned out- therefore, if they BOTH write a simple apology note or phone call to the other....this only works if nobody is allowed to try to tell the other that they were wrong, or why they were upset, or start bringing up the whole scenario again.
Just a simple non-judgemental apology and move forward: "I'm sorry that I may have said or done things to upset you. Can we start over?" If you can get them on the phone and make them each read out that sentance (and nothing more), perhaps they can both start fresh.
The problem persists when one person continues to try to prove the other one wrong. It's old trash that needs to be thrown out already.
Lisa, thanks for listening. I am afraid if they actually talk about it my sister is going to continue rehashing and then he is going to get mad and walk out (not on me, on the confrontation)

[mimitabby]

My Iranian refugee friends have brought with them a splendid tradition for tossing out old trash like this. Some weeks before New Years (Iranian New Year, which is in the early Spring) you plant lots of seeds in pots -- grass seeds, watercress, stuff that greens up fast. On New Years you throw them all out as a symbol of last year's resentments and transgressions, gone, done, over, forgettaboutem. I'm sure there's more to it that this bare bones version, but it does seem a refreshing idea.

my sister and my mother are masters of still being mad about what happened to them when they were six. my mother finally dropped all the complaints about her bad childhood after her mother died at the age of 92.
(she'll still start up about it if you ask her though!!)

[KnottedYet]

Dear Universe,

Thank you. I treasure this.

Knot.

[Xrayted]

Dearest *****...

Please grant me the wisdom to guide the one who needs it right now, a strong enough shoulder for her to cry on and a caring heart to help her move on to the best part of her life.

X.

[paigette]

my sister and my mother are masters of still being mad about what happened to them when they were six. my mother finally dropped all the complaints about her bad childhood after her mother died at the age of 92.
(she'll still start up about it if you ask her though!!)


Family drama is the 1 thing I HATE about the holidays!

My uncle's R wife(they got married a few years ago, I don't consider he an aunt...) is pissed off because we are holding Thanksgiving at my other Uncle D's house(they uncle's are twins), so now my Uncle R, his wife & his kids(my cousins) are boycotting T-giving & call my mother(the sister) repeatedly to ***** about it.

[mimitabby]

Family drama is the 1 thing I HATE about the holidays!

My uncle's R wife(they got married a few years ago, I don't consider he an aunt...) is pissed off because we are holding Thanksgiving at my other Uncle D's house(they uncle's are twins), so now my Uncle R, his wife & his kids(my cousins) are boycotting T-giving & call my mother(the sister) repeatedly to ***** about it.

This is happening in a family with TWINS? how super sad!

we're not having a normal thanks giving either. we decided early to have thanksgiving with a cousin, so now my mother is having thxgiving alone (with her husband) which was not our intent.

[paigette]

Yea, the TWIN thing wierds me out.....when I was growing up they ALWAYS had that strong bond. THen this new wife showed up & it's like R. turned off that twin super power or something!

My grams just died a few weeks ago, and mom made sure to tell her brothers & their wives that we need to have at least ONE family get together each year so that the family doesn't disintegrate.......and here it is 3 weeks later & it's already happening!

[chickwhorips]

dear truck that keeps backing up and re-hitting me mentally,
are you done yet? i don't know how much more of this i can take.

[Bluetree]

my sister and my mother are masters of still being mad about what happened to them when they were six. my mother finally dropped all the complaints about her bad childhood after her mother died at the age of 92.
(she'll still start up about it if you ask her though!!)

Mimi, I feel for you.
My mother's family has split up over an argument between two of her brothers and everyone has taken sides. Now, each side has not spoken to each other in over two years, although some live only 10 miles away. It's all about money... my grandparents' inheritance. Had they know that the money would be so devisive, they probably would have given it away to some animal shelter instead.
If there is any positive to come out of this, it is the solemn pledge my brother and I made to each other that we would never allow the same foolishness to come between us.
Family feuds are not easy to live with!

Joy

[crazycanuck]

Dear Ian thorpe,

Thank you for representing Australia in the World Champs, Commonwealth Games & Olympics. I'm sad to hear you've decided to retire. You made the sports crazy Australians proud.

Best of luck in your next endeavours.

thanks
A Canadian Fan

_-----------------

Dear Truck that is going through CWR"s mind..OI..stop at the next stop sign and remove the keys.

thanks

[Xrayted]

Dear past: Please leave our girl alone.
Dear present: Allow her take a breath, relax and be at peace. Let her know that she has all the power within her to rise above and take charge. Help her realize she is loved by many.
Dear future: Teach her to love herself as well. Give her the time to heal, feel strong and move on to better times.


thanks.

[light_sabe_r]

Dear Ian thorpe,

Thank you for representing Australia in the World Champs, Commonwealth Games & Olympics. I'm sad to hear you've decided to retire. You made the sports crazy Australians proud.

Best of luck in your next endeavours.

thanks
A Canadian Fan





Dean Ian

Your achievments are many, your legacy is great. But My favourite memory is of you and your mum eating Tip Top Bread in the lounge room when you were 16 for a TV commercial. lol You and your BIG FEET! Those lethal flippers in the water.

Good on ya Thorpie's Mum!




Dear Old Woman in the emergency X ray room
Thanks for smiling at me today. I hope you feel better soon... I'm passing your smile round the rest of the PA at the moment. ^_^

[crazycanuck]

Dear motorcycle passenger on the Roe Hwy.

Nice shiny high heels :eek: !!! Sure hope they stayed on & you made it home.

hmm..

c

[Dogmama]

Xray - beautiful post.

[lph]

Dear World,
Quit kicking me. I'm down, already.

Dear Alcohol,
Please, let me get wasted enough at the Christmas party to forget the last 6 months. But not wasted enough to cry on the wrong shoulder. Thank you.


Dear Snow,
Please come soon, we need the light.

[paigette]

Dear 212 & 222,

Look, I get that I should have taken the clue when y'all asked "Do you own dogs?" when I first moved in. At the time, I assumed you were just being curious about poop and thought nothing of saying 'Oh, yeah, 2 mini-schnauzers, don't worry, I clean up after them". A month later, I realize that y'all actually do not like dogs AT ALL.

Now, when I first moved in, I thought I was being courteous by giving you my cell numbers and stating if they ever were too loud(they do like to jump off the beds/couch etc) to call me. Never once have you called. I'm happily thinking that all is right. UNTIL FRIDAY, when I came home to find a "NOISE VIOLATION" from the apt complex that you two have complained my dogs are barking & making noise at all hours of the DAY & NIGHT! Excuse me? First off, we weren't home half the week because I was at my gram's funeral, so how could it be going on all week?!

But I have chosen to be a kind Christian soul & have already spoke to the apartment complex. December 1, I will transfer to a building that is more 'dog friendly' so I can avoid dealing with you directly.

On a slight unChristian note, the City should be calling you because someone:rolleyes: reported that you have been feeding several stray cats and they are pooping all over building 2's walkways.

[NJBikeGal]

To follow up on Paigette's stray cat issues (nice job, by the way!!).

To the black cat who likes to torment MY black cat...GO AWAY, Fuzzball! He doesn't like you and he doesn't just say it, he SPRAYS it (if you catch my meaning!). GO AWAY OR I'LL LET DH GET OUT THE BLOWGUN!!! :mad:

[mimitabby]

To follow up on the last two posts

I wasn't going to say anything after Paigette posted, because that lady was not very fair with her.
But the losers here are the cats, not the irresponsible cat owners

sincerely

frustrated cat rescuer who can't help all of the cats in need.

[paigette]

To follow up on the last two posts

I wasn't going to say anything after Paigette posted, because that lady was not very fair with her.
But the losers here are the cats, not the irresponsible cat owners

sincerely

frustrated cat rescuer who can't help all of the cats in need.


I completely agree that the cats need help (I'm an all-around animal lover)! That's why I would never think to normally complain about her helping the cats. The letter is simply meant to chastise her for her rudeness!

As for the cat poop everywhere, it would be nice if she would have fed them AWAY from the walkway(it's an open walkway with grass not 3 feet away!)

[crazycanuck]

Dear Freddie,

Has it really been 15yrs since we lost one of the best singers around? Sept 5 46-Nov 24, 1991.

I would like to say thank you for your amazing voice, awesome lyrics, funky sounds and for bringing us Roger Taylor :).

Thank you for not giving up until the end. We all saw this in the " these are the days of our lives" video...:(

From a fat bottomed girl fan makin the cyclin world go round :)

[snapdragen]

Wow cc - has it really been that long? I need to pull out my Queen cd's and put them in rotation. :cool:

snap 'missing freddie too' dragen

[crazycanuck]

Snap dear, yes it has..:( yes it has..:(

Hard to believe!@!!

c

[Xrayted]

hey CC. I've been listening to his music all day. Here's one of my favorites, just for you. Enjoy.

Somebody To Love

(Mercury)

Can anybody find me somebody to love
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in beliving you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my kness
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

(He works hard)

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody want to put me down,
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sence
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - Yeah yeah yeah

Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm OK, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love ... etc.
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

[margo49]

Dear Religiously Observant Jewish woman who I saw on my ride today,

The various Taliban and the Modesty Squads ain't never going to get you.
There you were in the autumn sunshine riding along the Jordan River trail. Accompanied by your husband, you were wearing a mid-calf black fullish skirt, thick rib-knitted white stockings, a long-sleeved white hoody and a helmet covering your hair - the picture of religious correctness.
I didn't stop to chat because I wanted you to enjoy the ride and not be stopped by me gawking and asking questions.
It was such a glorious day for a ride. I hope I see you again

from
The woman in the red-and-silver helmet and pretty socks [thanks SS]

[Bluetree]

Dear neighbors,

STOP STEALING MY SHOES!

I know that I go out to ride my bike at hours most people are sleeping. Therefore, so as not to disturb your beauty rest, I never wear my bike shoes when taking my bike through the condo complex. I know the clop-clop of my cleats would not be a welcome sound before dawn. I don't want to wear just my socks outside because I happen to like my socks and want to keep them around as long as possible. And yes, at 6am the pavement is darn COLD. So, being a good neighbor, I wear my flip-flops out to the complex entrance, park them there and put on my carbon road shoes for the ride.
Imagine my surprise when -- for the third time in the last few months -- I return from my ride and find my flip flops gone!

Folks, I AM NOT THE FLIP FLOP FAIRY. Do you wake up in the morning, go outside with coffee in hand to get the paper and think, "Oh lookie! I've been a good boy/girl so the Flip Flip Fairy left me another treat!" Does it occur to you that they belong to someone else? Does it bother you to wear flip flops my MY name written on them? I'm trying to be quiet and considerate, but you are making that harder and harder.

In the future, I would appreciate it if you kept your hands off my footwear. Or anything else that does not belong to you.
I and my flip flops thank you.

[emily_in_nc]

STOP STEALING MY SHOES!

Maybe the next time you leave a pair of flip-flops out, leave an appropriate note under them. Something like "GOTCHA! Don't even THINK about it." Or something....

Good luck - can't imagine why someone would do that!

Emily

[mimitabby]

Dear neighbors,

STOP STEALING MY SHOES!

I know that I go out to ride my bike at hours most people are sleeping. Therefore, so as not to disturb your beauty rest, I never wear my bike shoes when taking my bike through the condo complex. I know the clop-clop of my cleats would not be a welcome sound before dawn. I don't want to wear just my socks outside because I happen to like my socks and want to keep them around as long as possible. And yes, at 6am the pavement is darn COLD. So, being a good neighbor, I wear my flip-flops out to the complex entrance, park them there and put on my carbon road shoes for the ride.
Imagine my surprise when -- for the third time in the last few months -- I return from my ride and find my flip flops gone!

Folks, I AM NOT THE FLIP FLOP FAIRY. Do you wake up in the morning, go outside with coffee in hand to get the paper and think, "Oh lookie! I've been a good boy/girl so the Flip Flip Fairy left me another treat!" Does it occur to you that they belong to someone else? Does it bother you to wear flip flops my MY name written on them? I'm trying to be quiet and considerate, but you are making that harder and harder.

In the future, I would appreciate it if you kept your hands off my footwear. Or anything else that does not belong to you.
I and my flip flops thank you.

maybe it was the neighbor's dog?
why would an adult steal flipflops!
Ihope you find them soon!

[kellichou]

Chickwhorips!! You are aaaawesome! My twin sister lives in Dutch Harbor, and I got a wee taste of that wonderful Cold Bay hospitality when I got to visit her this past July! Our 30 passenger plane had to land in Cold Bay for almost 3 hours until the weather cleared to go onto Unalaska. The people in Cold Bay were so nice, and I wish I could've explored the town. Maybe someday soon I'll be able to!

Not to sound like I'm bragging, but we had a fantastic time for the week I was in Unalaska. Lots of hiking. So gorgeous! I almost want to convince my SO that both of us should get teaching jobs in the Aleutians. However, I have heard that those Aleutian winters are legendary, and the weather in Colorado is admittedly gorgeous.

<3 <3 <3



snap - i'm in a bush town called cold bay. its the last "city" at the tip of the penninsula before the aleutian islands start.

nanci - no i'm not to worried. if the did try to attack us they would get less than 60 people. i figure they would go for anchorage if they wanted to hit alaska.

ksh - thanks! i will keep enjoying it up here and rub it in her face to.... na i'm not like that. i just know it kills her that i'm happy. i don't have to say a word.

the sad thing is i've had everyone in town ask me if she's always in a bad mood or just like that when she met them. poor thing can't even crack a smile.

anyone that is a happy person and can smile :) is more than welcome to come and visit me!

[light_sabe_r]

Dear Hospital renovators...

You are idiots!!!

You cut through the main electrical supply cable and the back up emergency supply!!!

You probably gave all the Emergency, surgical, cardiac and ICU staff heart attacks... What with EVERY SINGLE POWER OUTLET and light DISCONNECTED!

The EXIT SIGN didn't even come on!!

Now for why this p!!!ed me off. I was in the TC room, which has no windows, in a lab with no windows...

So I was IN THE DARK... LITERALLY. PITCH BLACK! scarey!

Never mind the hour after (it took 2mins for power to come back on) where everyone in the lab madly rushed about turning off alarms, restting equipment, rebooting computers, restarting experiments!

You really know how to make a monday. But I'm sure the annoyance on my end was only a small percentage of the LIFE OR DEATH situations you may have put the patients in!!! It's times like these I'm glad I'm not a nurse or a doctor!!

Hope your supervisor clipped you round the ears! DON'T DO IT AGAIN!

From a very annoyed scientist

[lph]

Maybe the next time you leave a pair of flip-flops out, leave an appropriate note under them. Something like "GOTCHA! Don't even THINK about it."

How about:

"Go and buy your own, moron. These are MINE.
sign., your neighbour in no. xy"

[Bron]

Dear neighbors,

STOP STEALING MY SHOES!

I know that I go out to ride my bike at hours most people are sleeping. Therefore, so as not to disturb your beauty rest, I never wear my bike shoes when taking my bike through the condo complex. I know the clop-clop of my cleats would not be a welcome sound before dawn. I don't want to wear just my socks outside because I happen to like my socks and want to keep them around as long as possible. And yes, at 6am the pavement is darn COLD. So, being a good neighbor, I wear my flip-flops out to the complex entrance, park them there and put on my carbon road shoes for the ride.
Imagine my surprise when -- for the third time in the last few months -- I return from my ride and find my flip flops gone!

Folks, I AM NOT THE FLIP FLOP FAIRY. Do you wake up in the morning, go outside with coffee in hand to get the paper and think, "Oh lookie! I've been a good boy/girl so the Flip Flip Fairy left me another treat!" Does it occur to you that they belong to someone else? Does it bother you to wear flip flops my MY name written on them? I'm trying to be quiet and considerate, but you are making that harder and harder.

In the future, I would appreciate it if you kept your hands off my footwear. Or anything else that does not belong to you.
I and my flip flops thank you.

Dear Bluetree,

Have you thought of cleat covers? Then you can slip them into your pocket and take them with you. Obviously it will put the flip-flop fairy out of work and your neighbours will have to buy their own shoes, but I am sure they can cope.

I use these:
http://www.koolkovers.us/koolkovers.html

Bron

[snapdragen]

Pfft. If they're going to steal the flip flops, all courtesy is off. Wear your bike shoes out the door, noise be damned.

[salsabike]

Dear Contractor,

Hey, thanks for greeting us when we got back from Thanksgiving on the East Coast, with sawdust, pieces of wood and other gunk all over our belongings in the basement dungeon where we're living while you work on our house. Even after we told you eighty million times to make sure your guys didn't trash the tiny living area we have left in the house right now. I LIKE having to spend two hours cleaning up stuff after an East Coast trip. It is kind of hard to shake sawdust out of yarn skeins, not to mention my bike clothes and my computer. Bleah.

[Bikingmomof3]

Dear D***'s,
I have never had much success shopping at my local store. Unfortunately the twins wanted UA from Santa. You happen to be the only local store that carries it. And yet your employees continue to looked surprised by the mere mention of the brand. Now, personally when children know all about UA, I would think your employess would as well. FYI, you do carry UA in your store.
So imagine my joy when I learned UA was being sold through your website without sales tax and shipping! Happy Day! I can order the UA Cold Gear gloves for my twins from Santa. See, I knew it was too easy, yet I was trying to be optomistic. I received a confirmation email and was pleasantly surprised at how smoothly everything went.
*Wait for it*
I just received an email that I ordered an item not yet in stock. :eek: Nowhere on your site does it say these are items you do not currently carry. I looked. I went back and looked again. Nope, nothing. Please just get these gloves to me before the 24th! Then we can call it even and I will never ever shop with you again and you will not need to deal with my questions and phone calls.
FYI-Santa does not leave I.O.U.s

Your continually disgruntled, soon to be ex-shopper.

[mimitabby]

Dear so and so
My sister has sent me another cryptic message. Please give me the strength and the intelligence to know what to say; the right things that will not make her any madder and perhaps will calm her down and preserve what little is left in our relationship.

[lph]

Dear so and so
My sister has sent me another cryptic message. Please give me the strength and the intelligence to know what to say; the right things that will not make her any madder and perhaps will calm her down and preserve what little is left in our relationship.

This may sound a bit cryptic too, but bear with me: it makes me - well, not happy, but a bit more content - to see that other people do have difficult relationships with their siblings. As I've mentioned I had one brother who died recently, and we were not close. He was the ultimate master of the one-line reply, not answering e-mails, not returning calls, and in general being aloof and distant. Which didn't really bother me that much when he was alive, but has been bothering me more than I expected after he died. It's so definite - that's the way it was and there's no way of changing it now, even if I had wanted to try.

Long story. I'm not going to go all "carpe diem, mend your ways" on you ;) , just wanted to tell you that it's a small normalizing relief to see that other peoples sibling relationships aren't all perfect either... Good luck with your sister.

[Bikingmomof3]

Dear Head (yes you brain and vessels and arteries),
Please could I just get a break here? One day, just one, please? I would even be happy with half a day. Is it too much to ask?

A very tired body!

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Eyes,

Please, please, please stop drying out and hurting. My glasses annoy me but I can only wear my contacts 4-5 days a week. The lovely eye doctor has tried everything she can think of, can't you help?

Sincerely,
Wearing glasses and not happy with you eyes

Dear Step-MIL,

If you want people to drive you to pick up your grandson, you must ask. Don't whine about it later. Even though you annoy me and four hours in the car is my idea of torture, I would do it because you have lung cancer and I know chemo is rough. You have to ask for favors though, I don't live with you to know you need help.

With love,
A woman who cares for you because of your wonderful stepson

[mary9761]

Dear Body,
COME ON!!! Work WITH ME here!!!! I've been trying real hard to take good care of you the last couple years or so to make up for the abuse I put on you years ago. I'm giving you great exercise, trying to eat right the best that can be afforded right now. I got you off MOST of the medicines we had to take regularly, now you decide to hit me with a WHAMMY??? Muscle relaxers, Vicodin, Ibuprophen and prednisone is what you decide we need now? I need you to talk to the back, leg and nervous system and get back on the bike! PLEASE!! I don't like we had to go back on Prednisone, you know what it does to us!! :eek: And not getting our quota of cycling endorphins.... Well, we BOTH know THAT'S not going to be pretty either...
Let's nip this thing in the bud before it gets worse. We BOTH need to get back on the bike, to stay healthy..
Signed,
Becoming (Nightmare):mad:

[crazycanuck]

Dear Geoff Page-yellow wiggle

I'm sorry to hear about your illness & that you've decided to leave.

Take care of yourself.

From a non wiggles watcher but understands kids love the wiggles...
(I was wiggled at our friends house last christmas & all i could think of on a bike ride was "hot potato, potato potato potato..":eek: )

[PinkBike]

ok, it's december 1st, it is officially christmas season, so why do you morons close the street that takes me to the airport?? for light rail construction? we don't even have the rail cars yet, we wont get them til march, you have been - and will be - working on this forever, so whats the rush that you have to close the airport access from north 44th street NOW during the christmas season?????????????

okay, i feel better now

[CycleChic06]

Dear Mr. McPhelgm,
Here at work, we sit in very close quarters. We are not blessed with walls, or even graced with cubicles. We sit in carrels...lovingly referred to as 'corrals.' During this time of year I understand how people often come down with colds. But please please please cover your mouth when you cough. I really don't appreciate it when you feel the need to cough and you turn your head away from your computer towards me and cough on me instead. I understand you don't want to cough and spit all over your keyboard, but it is necessary to cough and spit on me? And it's not just any cough, it's this deep phlegmy gurgling noise that is quite possibly not even a cough, maybe a sneeze? Or maybe you are trying to clear your throat. Whatever it is, it's disgusting.

I can't tell you how much I love to sit at my desk and have you cough of phlegm in my direction all day. Your constant sneezing/coughing/throat clearing you do EVERY FIVE MINUTES has got to stop.

If you are that sick...go home. No one knows what you do here anyway.

[snapdragen]

cyclechic - have you considered having a big 'ole can of Lysol at your desk? Next time he starts bringing up a lung, start spraying away! :rolleyes: :D

[five one]

There was an article about this in our local newspaper this morning. There is even a name for it - "presenteeism".

Hope you are able to stay out of his line of fire. Eeewww :mad:

[bambu101]

This sounds exactly what I have been dealing with at work recently. We have open "quad-cubicles" , so I am sitting back to back with someone less than 2 feet away. The guy across from me spent the last few days snuffling loudly, and at one point I looked over to see him using the back of his hand as a tissue- ewwwwww!!!!!! Last winter, the previous occupant right behind me would turn his head in my direction and sneeze towards the floor (without covering his mouth, of course). I was so pissed I went to a manager and complained, and he went to the "offshore liason" , and the offender was spoken to. These programmers have never been to this country before, and I am trying to tell myself that it is just a cultural difference, but it is very disturbing.

[Velobambina]

Please invest in at least a front and rear blinkie, Ninja cyclists who insist on riding after dark, in black clothing, with NO bike lights. You are creating dangerous situations on the trails, as neither fellow cyclists nor walkers/joggers can see you until the last moment. I wonder how you manage to get home in one piece after you exit the trail and go on the busy roads? And the group of posers with no lights whom I saw on Tuesday, shame on you. Riding fast and hogging most of the trail are bad enough in broad daylight but after dark, you could seriously injure others and yourselves.

[fixedgeargirl]

Dear Ex,

You're nearly 50. Grow up already. Your mommy won't be around forever to clean up your messes.

Over it,

fixedgeargirl

[CycleChic06]

cyclechic - have you considered having a big 'ole can of Lysol at your desk? Next time he starts bringing up a lung, start spraying away! :rolleyes: :D

Lysol is a good idea, I think it's too late though, I've come down with a stupid cold! I'm so pissed.


There was an article about this in our local newspaper this morning. There is even a name for it - "presenteeism".

Hope you are able to stay out of his line of fire. Eeewww :mad:

Yeah, I was just reading about the same thing. I wanted to print out a copy and leave it on his desk. However, I don't think this guy can take a hint. People have had problems with him before for other things and subtlety doesn't seem to work.


This sounds exactly what I have been dealing with at work recently. We have open "quad-cubicles" , so I am sitting back to back with someone less than 2 feet away. The guy across from me spent the last few days snuffling loudly, and at one point I looked over to see him using the back of his hand as a tissue- ewwwwww!!!!!! Last winter, the previous occupant right behind me would turn his head in my direction and sneeze towards the floor (without covering his mouth, of course). I was so pissed I went to a manager and complained, and he went to the "offshore liason" , and the offender was spoken to. These programmers have never been to this country before, and I am trying to tell myself that it is just a cultural difference, but it is very disturbing.

I feel your pain bambu. I've considered discussing it with his manager, who's kinda a friend of mine...but I'm not sure if he could say anything about it.

[snapdragen]

I feel your pain bambu. I've considered discussing it with his manager, who's kinda a friend of mine...but I'm not sure if he could say anything about it.

It's worth a try. I work with a guy who was raised by wolves...OK, maybe not. But when he first started with us, he had never worked in a cube farm; he was a programmer and always worked off on his own. Needless to say, the first few months were horrendous. Burping, farting, you name it. Finally his manager spoke to him, things improved after that. He's still an odd one - if you look up computer geek in the dictionary his picture is there :p - but at least he now acts civilized. :cool:

[Trek420]

snapdragen "Pfft. If they're going to steal the flip flops, all courtesy is off. Wear your bike shoes out the door, noise be damned."

Or leave the flip flops covered with wadded up kleenex, make sure the kleenex are damp, maybe even a little greenish...:cool:

[CycleChic06]

Needless to say, the first few months were horrendous. Burping, farting, you name it. Finally his manager spoke to him, things improved after that.

Wow, that's really nasty. At least I'm spared of the farting. Hah, as I was in the process of writing about how I think Mr. McPhlegm has stopped his coughing/throat clearing, he turned towards me and did it again. Something has to be done. The onsite nurse has posted all these 'cough ettiquette' signs around the company, I've photo copied them and I think I'm going to wall paper his desk with them. Think he'd get it?

[mimitabby]

Wow, that's really nasty. At least I'm spared of the farting. Hah, as I was in the process of writing about how I think Mr. McPhlegm has stopped his coughing/throat clearing, he turned towards me and did it again. Something has to be done. The onsite nurse has posted all these 'cough ettiquette' signs around the company, I've photo copied them and I think I'm going to wall paper his desk with them. Think he'd get it?

nope, you need to spray Lysol immediately after he does one of those things. He probably does NOT have a CLUE that it distresses you.

[Tri Girl]

Dear irresponsible/lazy parents,
please stop expecting public and private schools to raise your children for you, by teaching them things that should be taught at home (manners, values, discipline, social skills, sex ed, and alcohol and drug awareness). We're really busy trying to teach them academics, and all these other things take up many hours of our year and require us to have less time to teach the needed skills your child will need to be successful in the world. We are drastically falling behind on the world scene.
If you are responsible or have already received this message, please disregard.
Sincerely,
time-starved teachers everywhere


while I realize that certainly not ALL parents fit this bill, sadly the numbers are rising dramatically over the years (at least in the 11 years I've been teaching).

[IFjane]

Dear irresponsible/lazy parents,
please stop expecting public and private schools to raise your children for you, by teaching them things that should be taught at home (manners, values, discipline, social skills, sex ed, and alcohol and drug awareness). We're really busy trying to teach them academics, and all these other things take up many hours of our year and require us to have less time to teach the needed skills your child will need to be successful in the world. We are drastically falling behind on the world scene.
If you are responsible or have already received this message, please disregard.
Sincerely,
time-starved teachers everywhere


while I realize that certainly not ALL parents fit this bill, sadly the numbers are rising dramatically over the years (at least in the 11 years I've been teaching).

I'm with you, Tri! I taught for 11 years, now in admin. for 6 and we are seeing it more and more. Between what some parents do not do for their kids & what the kids see when they are watching the Great American Babysitter, we have our work cut out for us!

[mimitabby]

I wish i could remember the movie, but it was rated R.
my 2nd grade son (this was 1990 ish) brought home a permission sliip from school
to watch a rated R movie (it was an action-adventure story) I had an absolute
FIT!
So now MY kid looks bad because i don't want him watching rated R movies.
I was the only mom who complained. I don't think they got to watch the movie.
(it could have been Raiders of the lost ark)

[IFjane]

Mimi - we hear/see it all the time. We have PRESCHOOLERS talking about the movies they watch & they are seeing things I don't want to see. Not only is it making our jobs much more difficult but it is having lasting effects on young minds who are not sufficiently developed to process what they are seeing on the screen. Sad.

Thanks for being the one mom who stood up and said no!

[mtbdarby]

My preschooler got into Pokemon when a big kid brought in a gameboy to dc. I thought it was too violent for him so I told him he couldn't watch it. So his dad bought him a movie. Now when he gets frustrated he tells me how "stupid" he is and that he's a "loser". Right from pokemon. Thanks ex - now you know why you're an ex..:mad:

[mimitabby]

Mimi - we hear/see it all the time. We have PRESCHOOLERS talking about the movies they watch & they are seeing things I don't want to see. Not only is it making our jobs much more difficult but it is having lasting effects on young minds who are not sufficiently developed to process what they are seeing on the screen. Sad.

Thanks for being the one mom who stood up and said no!

Yeppers, due to the fact that we had two ACTIVE boys, ALL the teachers knew us as did the principals and even some vice principals.
ahem. We were VERY involved.

[Bluetree]

Dear neighbors,
STOP STEALING MY SHOES!
Imagine my surprise when -- for the third time in the last few months -- I return from my ride and find my flip flops gone!
Folks, I AM NOT THE FLIP FLOP FAIRY. Do you wake up in the morning, go outside with coffee in hand to get the paper and think, "Oh lookie! I've been a good boy/girl so the Flip Flip Fairy left me another treat!" Does it occur to you that they belong to someone else? Does it bother you to wear flip flops my MY name written on them? I'm trying to be quiet and considerate, but you are making that harder and harder.


At 5am this morning, I'm driving out to the desert for a race and on the darkened freeway, I see debris ahead of me. I immediately slowed. After all... what is soft debris or hard? Could it damage my car? What was it?

Well... my headlights reach the scene and light it up. They're flip flops! Thousands of them! All over the freeway! Every color and size!

I couldn't stop because I was anxious to check in my bike. However, if anyone else out there is missing flip flops, I recommend going to the eastbound 91 Freeway in Orange County, just east of the 605 intersection.

Go early for best selection!

[mimitabby]

Blue tree, did you flip?
:D

[Bluetree]

Mimi,
Perhaps I flipped... when I should have flopped. ;)

[Duck on Wheels]

So what highway do all those socks that disappear from the dryer wind up on?

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Former Apartment Complex,

Thanks for sticking us with a huge bill for replacing the carpet. $832 seems really high for less than 700 sq ft of cheap carpet. I was thinking I would get a new bike soon, but I guess you can have half the money. I will try to wait patiently to save an extra $800 towards the bike. :(

Signed,
Happy to be a home owner and not a renter!

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Dodge Durango Driver,

Thank you for pulling over and blocking the pit bull and chow that was chasing me today as I rode. The honking and car coming towards them surely distracted them so I could make it safely up the hill. I was to scared to turn around to offer a friendly thank you wave, but I know you quite possibly saved me from a nasty dog encounter.

Thanks for looking out for me,
The cyclist in Liberty Hill

[Duck on Wheels]

Dear Aggie Ama,
I think that post should also go to your local paper, which maybe that driver reads. And maybe the dog owner(s) too, although they may be illiterate as well as inconsiderate, seeing as they're letting those dogs run loose, which is probably illegal. I'm glad that driver helped out; glad not all drivers are crazy bike-haters.

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Aggie Ama,
I think that post should also go to your local paper, which maybe that driver reads. And maybe the dog owner(s) too, although they may be illiterate as well as inconsiderate, seeing as they're letting those dogs run loose, which is probably illegal. I'm glad that driver helped out; glad not all drivers are crazy bike-haters.

I just sent a note to the publisher of our small town paper. I am hoping they will publish my thank you.

[five one]

Please stop bringing your leftover Christmas candy - especially chocolate - to work. It's not like I didn't have enough at home tempting me for the last few weeks. Sigh...:(

[crazycanuck]

Dear outdoor shops in Australia,

What do you mean "There's no market" for Polar insulated water bottles...!!!! :mad: :mad:

I want to keep my water cold on bike rides thank you very much..

grrrrrr..

c

[crazybikinchic]

Dear Powers that be,

This year is not starting off on a good foot. First, on New Years, we put my Mother-in-law in the hospital. DH and I seemed to be the only ones thinking this could be it for her. She reminded me so much of Megan before she passed. So on Friday, she went to see my precious Megan and be with her. Then, on the way home from the hospital, the car starts acting up again. Sunday, it wouldn't let me go to church because it decided to blow a head gasket. Then, the electricity deposit was due and we totally forgot because of my mother-in-law, so the nice people at the electric company shut off the electricity. Unfortunatly, this is coming at the worst possible time. PLEASE!!! Let some good stuff start happening again. We could really use the break.

Sincerely,

Really wanting the year to get better

[light_sabe_r]

Dear outdoor shops in Australia,

What do you mean "There's no market" for Polar insulated water bottles...!!!! :mad: :mad:

I want to keep my water cold on bike rides thank you very much..

grrrrrr..

c

I hear ya sister!!!

(shakes fist at Anaconda, BCF and Camping world)




Dear Self.

Please remember to take the Boyfriend out of the house before locking the deadbolt. That way he won't scratch the door until he is let out.

Thanks


:D

[Duck on Wheels]

Dear Powers that be,

This year is not starting off on a good foot. First, on New Years, we put my Mother-in-law in the hospital. DH and I seemed to be the only ones thinking this could be it for her. She reminded me so much of Megan before she passed. So on Friday, she went to see my precious Megan and be with her. Then, on the way home from the hospital, the car starts acting up again. Sunday, it wouldn't let me go to church because it decided to blow a head gasket. Then, the electricity deposit was due and we totally forgot because of my mother-in-law, so the nice people at the electric company shut off the electricity. Unfortunatly, this is coming at the worst possible time. PLEASE!!! Let some good stuff start happening again. We could really use the break.

Sincerely,

Really wanting the year to get better

((((((crazybikinchic))))))
Best wishes. With all these tragedies and irritations happening at once, there's got to be a lot of the good stuff left for the rest of the year.

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Aggie Ama,
I think that post should also go to your local paper, which maybe that driver reads. And maybe the dog owner(s) too, although they may be illiterate as well as inconsiderate, seeing as they're letting those dogs run loose, which is probably illegal. I'm glad that driver helped out; glad not all drivers are crazy bike-haters.


My letter was published. It was cast away in a small cluttered "letters to the editor" box, but it was there. I feel like I was able to "Thank" the motorist.

[Aggie_Ama]

((((CBC)))) I hope the electric company could have a heart and turn on the electricity without issue. Hopefully all the bad is gone for 2007, you shouldn't have so much at once. (((hugs)))

[doc]

Dear Powers that be,

This year is not starting off on a good foot. First, on New Years, we put my Mother-in-law in the hospital. DH and I seemed to be the only ones thinking this could be it for her. She reminded me so much of Megan before she passed. So on Friday, she went to see my precious Megan and be with her. Then, on the way home from the hospital, the car starts acting up again. Sunday, it wouldn't let me go to church because it decided to blow a head gasket. Then, the electricity deposit was due and we totally forgot because of my mother-in-law, so the nice people at the electric company shut off the electricity. Unfortunatly, this is coming at the worst possible time. PLEASE!!! Let some good stuff start happening again. We could really use the break.

Sincerely,

Really wanting the year to get better


Here's wishing you a major upswing in how the year progresses. Hang in and bike your frustrations away as much as possible.

[mimitabby]

My letter was published. It was cast away in a small cluttered "letters to the editor" box, but it was there. I feel like I was able to "Thank" the motorist.

fantastic! I am proud of you, letter writer!

[LBTC]

Dear accountants at our divisions who supposedly have much more training than I do:

Why is it impossible for you to follow instructions, provide complete information, or fill in the blanks despite how clear the instructions and requests are??

frustrated,
~T~

[maillotpois]

Dear pair of self-absorbed mothers pushing strollers side by side on the narrow, uphill part of the bike path this morning:

Yes, I was riding on the bike path and yes, when you saw me approaching at a fairly high speed and did not go single file I did ride just as close to you as I possibly could while maintaining my pace, scaring the bejeebers out of you.

I'm not sorry. You were coming towards me. You saw me coming from yards away as the path was perfectly clear. Yet you did not move over one millimeter. I was perfectly able to judge where I could ride in order to pass you very closely without slowing down or actually endangering you or your progeny. I am hoping that next time you see a cyclist coming towards you that you will move over.

Sincerely,

the spandex wonder :cool:

PS - kids on the bike path who don't have control of your bikes and don't really know where you're supposed to be, don't read anything into this. I will continue to slow down and give you guys a wide berth. You aren't old enough to be worrying about looking out for anyone but yourselves. :)

[KnottedYet]

Dear Costco,
thank you for selling 20-packs of my favorite pens for $9.50. It made my day!

Pilot-Pen-Afficionado

[snapdragen]

Dear Weight Watchers,

Thanks for being so quick to fix the sync problem with the On The Go program and your website - NOT! Four weeks! Four freakin' weeks! Not until someone posted the coporate phone number, and the calls started, did you even acknowledge the problem. I luv good customer service.

[Bad JuJu]

Dear neighbor-dog Mocha--
We like you and don't mind you visiting us because your worthless, bad-dog-companion people practically ignore you most of the time, but do you have to jump around like an idiot when I take you for a walk along with Cocoa? Today, you made me trip over you and fall, so I injured my knee and shoulder. So now, not only won't I be walking you and Coke for a few days, but I can't ride my bike either. This does not make me feel like being a good neighbor! I know you're just happy to have some companionship--any companionship--but jeez, chill out!
In love and frustration,
The good-dog-companion person

[SouthernBelle]

Oh poor you and Mocha both. Feel better.

[missymaya]

I didn't know this thread was on here 'til just now and how convenient:

Dear (insert jerk's name here) at the Alumni Center who is NOT the head of the dept:
I don't care where you're from, the fact that you completely disregarded my initial polite messages I left you(these messages were strong but not mean, hurtful, or harsh)prompted me to continously call, fax, and email your dept for forms in order for the caterer of your event to get paid b/c she's up my rear so far her hair is coming out of my nose! And she's contacted you as well!!Then, you have the audacity to complain that I was "being too harsh" and that you're from (place of birth) means that you don't give into intimidation YET you filed the forms shortly after you stated the comment says something: YOU DONT HAVE A CLUE!!!
The fact that you do NOT even have the ability to recognize your inactions and how these 'inactions' had triggered my message bombardment to your office tells me your should not be where you are! The basic and simple form that could be completed by a 6 year old in the matter of minutes which took you over 2 weeks leads me to say that you are inept at your job!!!
Leave me out of your ineptness!!
Ahh, that feels much better.

[PinkBike]

dear "tech support" -

why are all your techs in india? norton/symantec? hewlett packard? i can not understand them! i'm not a phobe, but i just cant get past the language barrier. and i really need help here, and i've been on the line forever, what is up with that?

but cox - thanks so much - you are always there when i have a HDTV/Internet/DVR problem and you ALWAYS fix it even in the middle of the night.

[kelownagirl]

Dear North American government leaders,

Can't you see that Climate Change is here?! We need to reduce emissions NOW. Don't you have children who will need a green place to live? Can't you look past the almightly buck and do something?

Please?
Frustrated, but riding my bike work to save my .5 kg of emissions...

[mimitabby]

to whom it may concern
I endured headaches associated with pms for over 35 years. Now I have gotten past all that and am in menopause. So what's up with this headache? enough already!
yours truly
mimitabby

[Crankin]

Dear Body,

I would like to get through one illness and have Just A Cold. I would like to go more than 2 weeks without going to see my friendly nurse practitioner, who thinks I'm crazy. I would like one of the new asthma medications to actually help me when I get sick and not make me feel worse.

How did I ride my bike 3,000 miles last year? Thankfully, this mostly happens in the winter.

Finally, I would like to be able to restrain myself from riding when I know I should wait another day....

Robyn

[Thistle]

Dear troublesome family members

Please leave us alone so we can get on with our lives. :mad:

Dear powers-that-be

Please help me find the courage to start my lit review today :(

Dear beautiful bike and tired old body

Thank you for a wonderful ride this morning. :D

[Duck on Wheels]

Dear cough,
Enough already. It's going on 10 months! At least behave like some kind of normal cough so next time I take you to the doctor I can get a useful diagnosis!

[trickytiger]

Dear Employer:

I can't believe you are making me WORK ON A MINE for FOUR MONTHS while living in a hotel room in total isolation somewhere in the middle of Nevada. While my bank account will appreciate the massive amounts of overtime that working 12/7 will accumulate, this really puts a dent in my personal life. I'm sure that my boyfriend and my bike will not remember what I look like upon return. After all, they only had two weeks to get used to the idea. Please, reconsider your decision to destroy any desire that your young female scientists have to work for you.

Sincerely, me.



Dear Me,

I really encourage you to have the guts and perseverance to follow the career that you really want to have. Yes, getting into school is tough for this career. Yes, you do have to quit work first to take the classes you need to apply for grad school. Yes, you may not make it. Sure, you feel like your mid-twenties were wasted on getting a degree that you aren't going to use anymore after four months is up(see above letter). But I applaud you for figuring out what kind of life you want to have, and what is really important to you. You only live once. Oh, and if you don't take this chance, you'll be stuck working on drill rigs, housing developments, and mine sites for the next thirty years. Your choice, babe.

Love, Me.

[five one]

Dear male evening custodian,

Why is it you decide 4:55 pm is the right time to prop the door open and clean the only women's restroom in the building? Some of us would like to leave for our commute home with an empty tank. And I don't mean the car. We're all gone by 5:15. Why not clean then?? Sheesh :mad: .

[mary9761]

Dear Morons in referral department of my PCC/NEUROSURGERY/ETC,
Is there really NO WAY for me to be seen BEFORE April 11?? I've been told you didn't have a more current MRI than 1991. That's funny my PCC who made the referral gave ME a copy of the Open MRI I had done in DECEMBER BEFORE sending a referral to YOU in the first place.
If it will speed things up, I'll be more than glad to bring you the bloody photo copy that my PCC OBVIOUSLY was able to pull up to send home with ME! You see I really would like to have my LIFE BACK sooner than later especially if I may be needing back surgery. I don't want to have that disk slip any more in EITHER direction because besides the sciatic pain, I really don't want to end up PARALYZED waiting to see you if something happens either.
Oh, and while I'm at it, dear people in charge of making sure I get refills or not of my pain meds while I'm waiting to be seen. I'm taking the VERY minimum of meds that I can but I don't want to end up being WITHOUT meds while I have to wait nearly 3 more MONTHS to be seen by Neuro surgery so please don't give me a hassle when I call to see if you've gotten that written up for me. I don't like taking the meds because they make me STUPID, but I don't want to be in terrible pain if the effects continue to wear off of the prednisone treatment I had earlier.

[Bluetree]

Dear Bad Dog-Owner Lady,

We are fortunate to live in the area where 99&#37; of dog owners pay attention to the pet laws. People pick up their dogs' poo, make sure they are well-socialized, keep them on leashes and stay off the beach bike path. I appreciate their efforts. We live in a clean and pet-friendly environment. So it was so unusual to see someone like you who are either completely ignorant of the laws or consciously think that the laws do not apply to you and your little darlings.

It was bad enough to see your two little yappy dogs run willy-nilly across the bike path and beachfront, chasing runners and cyclists, running up and barking menacingly to other peoples' (leashed) dogs, while you stand there weakly calling, "Please don't do that baby!" The guy with the two Rotties had a time of it calming his previously-well-behaved dogs, who didn't appreciate hyperpactive terriers running up and barking right into their faces.

It was worse when one of your little tots ran directly into the path of a streetsweeper truck, forcing me to ditch my ride and wave frantically to the driver to stop in time (luckily he did).

But the absolute worst was when you saw that one of your darlings almost get run over. You yelled out frantically to him and he ran back to you (the one time he did listen to you.) When he reached you, you responded by slapping him and scolding him, "Bad dog! Bad dog!" Sure that poor dog is poorly trained and uncontrollable. But he had NO IDEA why he was being punished. And there was no need to slap him. For all he knew, he was beein scolded for running back to you. If he was uncontrollable before, he'll get even worse. What are you teaching him... that to come when you call is a bad thing?! :mad:

I would have stopped and given you a stern talking to, except there was a large bern between us and you were out of earshot. As I rode away, I saw the guy with the Rotties stopping to chat with you. I hope he informed you of pet law and etiquette. I hope you learn how to train a dog properly, or better yet, refrain from being a dog owner. I hope I never see you or your yappy dogs on the bike path again.

[Bluetree]

Dear brand new Castelli jersey,

I'm so sorry about this morning.

I was sloppy with the snot rocket and got shrapnel all over your left sleeve. I know I am much better on my right, but I will have to work on my left-sided technique so as not to mess you up again. Snot aside, you performed admirably on your maiden voyage, keeping me toasty warm despite the dense fog cover and ocassional drizzle.

There you go into the washing machine.
I'll be waiting for you when you come out.:o

[Lifesgreat]

Dear boys,

P L E A S E do not bring Valentine's Day flowers to my teenage daughter. She is still my baby.

Signed,

Mama Bear

[massbikebabe]

Dear Mama Bear:

Please don't worry if my man cub shows up at your door. He spent two months worth of allowance to buy his GF roses today. He is a very handsome and loving young man. He is very good to his mother. He went out and got his mother an IPOD last year so that she could walk and listen. He calls every day after school before practice to make sure I am o.k. He does chores around the house without complaint, and cooks a mean salmon. He will make some lucky young lady a good wife.

mother of a beautiful son

[LadyinWhite]

Dear colleague:

You've known for about 5 years now that I do not like you. I don't like your arrogance. I don't like your need to insert yourself and your oh so amazing wisdom into every conversation. I don't like your incessant whining whenever you feel over worked. We are all working hard to make a living, no one, least of all me needs to hear your woe is me every time we cross paths.

Please stop trying to ingratiate yourself into my good graces. Accept the fact that I don't like you and don't want to talk to you. Nod, say good morning if you must, I will, out of pure civil courtesy sake respond with a proper greeting but then continue on your way and leave me to get through my day without being reminded of exactly why I can't stand you in the first place.

Best regards,
T.

[Velobambina]

Dear Earth -- Send us temps above freezing & some sun to melt the ice/snow/slush quickly. This February has been a killer, weather-wise, and I want to get back to riding outside regularly. While Coach Troy is surely making me stronger, I'd prefer to let the trainer rest again and to use it only occasionally.
Did Punxy Phil promise an early spring?

[Pax]

Dear White Men,

You already rule the world, please stop being such whiny winners. Every woman who does not find you witty, interesting, worthy of her time, or who does NOT want to sleep with you is not a (fill in the blank with your usual vile hate filled words). In short, get the hell over yourselves and stop acting like whiny little boys.

Sincerely,

Another woman who is tired of you.

[missymaya]

Dear Gray Matter in my skull,
Please get through this paper. All you need is 300 hundred more words on this subject and some clarification. Just get through, you'll do well. Please don't break on me! How would I get to class tonight w/o my lovely gray matter!
Please keep working 'til 8:50 pm this evening.

[Kitsune06]

Dear corporate execs, hallmark shareholders, purveyors of things cute, pink, and fuzzy:

I first want to extend to you my congratulations. Every V-day you manage to flood stores with the spoor of commercialized affection. You make it easy for someone to go buy a small gift, a token or trinket to attempt to make up for disingenuine living. You tell people that unless they receive such tokens, their partner doesn't *really* love them. You do incredible damage to the subtle natures and delicate sensibilities of those who choose to let every day be equal in amorousness... and you do damm good business as well.

But to the pith of my letter:
I regret to inform you, I will not be contributing to your business ventures. Even as I look out my window at the party supply shop, watching a woman carry a massive bouquet of balloons and jam them into her minivan, I sigh and shake my head.
There are those who protest this 'holiday' completely and refuse to acknowledge its passing...
but I feel I do it much better service by taking it at face value... with intention and not the almighty dollar in heart and mind.
Love is love, and though I rather prefer Beltaine as a celebration of Love, I'll take any other excuse I can as well. Every day should have notes of it but what an opportunity we have, twice in a year, to celebrate the tremulous joy of sharing our soul with another- the bliss of the shared experience?
And for those alone today, or unhappily committed- today is a day to celebrate love as a concept- it exists for us all, deep within us in a way no one else can touch, but is ours to give as we wish.
In closing, men in shirt and jacket with silken noose about your neck,
Good luck with everyone else. :D
Best regards,
Aryn
PS. If you start commercializing Beltaine, I don't know if I'd be upset or amused... but you *have* to tell people what that maypole represents, first! ;) :D

[mary9761]

Kitsune ROFLMAO!!! Indeed!:rolleyes: :D

[margo49]

Dear Modesty Squads in Saudi,

This week's campaign to arrest people selling decadent infidel Valentine's Day stuff or even red articles in general and to hang out undercover and arrest people for wearing red or carrying red flowers or balloons is not quite what we had in mind either.

[KnottedYet]

Dear chaotic cosmic forces,

Thanks for the chemistry!

Knot

[Aint Doody]

Dear Nincompoops who park in our business parking lot,

Please read the big sign that says the parking lot is for our customers and employees only. Do not park there and leave for an hour and then come back and complain when I've parked behind you because I had nowhere else to park. If you want to pay the taxes and the upkeep on our parking lot, we'll negotiate.

[Pax]

Dear Snow Plow Driver,

I know you're really busy and probably exhausted but could you PLEASE stop piling all the snow from the street into the parking space next to my truck...I can't even get to the door to move it out of the way. :(

Frozenly yours,

Queen

[LBTC]

Dear staff of our employee services (human resources) department:

When I told you in June last year that my husband had quit his job and no longer had any benefits, I can understand that it was up to me to change my flex benefits plan online. I did that as soon as his coverage was over.

However, when I told you that he didn't have coverage anymore, you could have automatically made the change in my extended medical coverage so that when he went to pick up the first prescription he needed the coverage would have been in place.

And when it wasn't, several months ago, and I asked you to make that change which I thought you would have done automatically, did it not occur to you to check to see if you had changed my medical coverage?

Funny thing is, those medical guys send bills that are not allowed to be forwarded so that now, 8 months later, the bill is a warning that we'll be sent to a collection agency for monies that my employment contract say that you should be paying.

When I told you that he had quit his job and had no coverage, what did you think I meant?

No hugs or butterflies for you ladies, but I sure hope you can figure out a system so that nobody else has to deal with this!

~T~

[logdiva32]

Dear overweight fitness center attendant,
Perhaps, if you place a covered bike rack out side of your fitness center, I would not ask you to move some of the old wrestling mats and boxing bags that lie at every hallway exit blocking the doors, because you will not allow me to bring my bike inside because, it is unsecured personal property and oh a "fire hazard" in the corner, that all 6 people who are in the gym might run for the same door; then I would happily lock my bike up outside and I might use your facility more and you won't have to cut your hours for lack of use. Oh, Then you wouldn't suggest driving my car like you do" who is 50 lbs overweight". But, guess it is not worth argueing over.

[CyclChyk]

Dear Biker Goddess/Powers That Be/God/Lucky Leprechan/Whoever can help the hopeless:

Pleaseeeeeeee don't let me flunk out of cycling class this weekend - please grant me the natural skills needed and confidence to know I have them so that I might pass the course with flying colors and get my learners permit and ultimately my mororcycle license so I don't have to ride b***h anymore and make my DH proud.

(I'll ask for guidance to a really cool bike once the above is obtained and I have proven to be a competent rider). :)

thank you.

Pic of a really cool bike below

[mimitabby]

Dear Snow Plow Driver,

I know you're really busy and probably exhausted but could you PLEASE stop piling all the snow from the street into the parking space next to my truck...I can't even get to the door to move it out of the way. :(

Frozenly yours,

Queen

oh, QUEEN, I AM JEALOUS!!

[snapdragen]

Dear Cash Posting Unit:

I submit electronic payment files daily, and provide you with a complete report to reconcile these payments, again, daily. Why do you wait two months to inform me that you are missing something? Do you think I just pull these things out of my a$$?

[Kitsune06]

Dear clients,
Please, just wait ONE day between when you're *going* to complain about not getting your 1099s and when you actually *do* complain. *I* do not send them out. My *manager* does not send them out. They are sent from Kansas. I am unbelievably sick of you people freaking out that you're not getting your damm 1099s only to call back the next day to inform me that oh, yes, you just got it, after I just went through a boatload of crap with our home office to get you a 2nd copy. IT MAKES ARYN GRR SMASHY. It makes her want to *backhand* you. ESPECIALLY when you KNOW you're the umpteenth person to call on it *that day* and then are totally half-@ssed about your appology. Either apologize or don't. If you don't, I don't care. Just a business transaction. When you do, it restores my faith in humanity. BUT when you do, insincerely, it makes me want to shred your documents, put them in a pretty envelope and send them to you that way. Jerks.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Cheers,
~Aryn L. Fox
Primary Accounts Administrator
Blah Blah Youcaretoomuchaboutmoney Inc.

[massbikebabe]

Dear Physical Therapy People:

Last week you told me I am going to need a new left hip in the very near future. Today my elderly mother comes to take me in for my PT, because she has a dream that one day I will no longer be handicapped. WELL, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO WOULD BE TO PUT DOWN SOME GD ROCK SALT ON THE ICE WE GOT. What do you want me to get my new hip sooner than later:mad:
AND, I feel like my complaint fell on deaf ears...I hope someone sues your pants off!!!!!!!

disgruntled handicapped person

[Aint Doody]

Dear Women's Clothing Designers:

Please remember that the baby boomers don't have ultra flat stomachs and don't really like to have pants, short, skirts hit their tummies right at the largest part. I'm tired of wearing my panty hose up around my waist and then having my pants ride down below that. Grrrrrrrr.....

[KnottedYet]

Dear Gods and Goddesses of Patience,

Please give me some.

Knot

[chickwhorips]

Dear Gods and Goddesses of Patience,

Please give me some.

Knot

ditto what knot said, and please give me the strength to do what needs to be done.

[crazycanuck]

Dear dorky male rider by Murdoch uni this afternoon,

TAKE YOUR IPOD OFF...I shouldn't have to swear at people & yell "rider" 3 times before you hear me!!!!! If i wanted to bike 10km/hr I'd go behind you..

STAY TO THE LEFT...

FREAK.

Thank you & don't have a nice day :mad:

c

[Haudlady]

Dear Giant-Department-Store Clerk,

Please understand that the first time I said I didn't want a bag for my purchase (a single t-shirt), I meant that I did not want a bag.

Please understand that the second time I said I didn't want a bag... even though you laughed and said I would look silly walking across the parking lot without a bag... I meant that I did NOT want a bag.

Please understand that the reason I left the bag on the chair just inside the door, even though I knew you (and two other clerks) were staring at me in disbelief was that I DID NOT WANT A BAG!

Geesh.

[Kitsune06]

Dear little sister-
I can't tell you, without sounding like a total sap, how proud I am that you're coming into your own and being a strong young woman, making good decisions and doing well in school.

Keep being who you are, and you'll find someone proper to spend SAABJ Day with someone who is deserving and will appreciate you for the kickazz, savvy mechanic chick you are.

I'll have to let the little things suffice, posting pics of us as kids- remember how hot those polyester softball uniforms were??!- and sending you notes now and again. As embarrassed as I was that you tackled me when I came off the plane in WI, I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world. The airport security all took a collective sh!t because of you. :D They needed it. I needed it, too.

Thank you for telling our parents that it was okay with you that I had a girlfriend when I first had a human companion to go along with my feelings. I think it made all the difference in their reaction.

You don't always need to be so dark, you have a pretty smile- You don't need to be so quiet, you always have interesting things to say. You don't need to laugh off your close connections to the past- you have been, in many ways, the closest tie I've ever had to memories that get folded under the turbulence of everyday life.

They say you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses... ...no. no, that wasn't it. You can't pick your family? Something like that. Anyway, I'd pick you anyway. I would maybe even pick your nose.

Loveya, sis. Have fun laughing at the guys who weren't good enough to spend SAABJ day with you this year.
~Aryn

[mimitabby]

Dear Supermarket bagger of highschool age
I know it is really hard to understand, but the reason I arrived with my stuff in the brown paper bag was so that I didn't have to take a plastic bag.
When I then explained to you that I wanted it all in 1 bag, so you emptied my brown bag and one of the plastic bags and stuck it all in one plastic bag, except for my parsnips which did not make it into ANY bag. So when I was driving out and you stopped me, thanks for giving me the parsnips in the second plastic bag...
(pulling out hair now)

don't they get it??

[susiej]

Dear Supermarket bagger of highschool age
I know it is really hard to understand, but the reason I arrived with my stuff in the brown paper bag was so that I didn't have to take a plastic bag.
When I then explained to you that I wanted it all in 1 bag, so you emptied my brown bag and one of the plastic bags and stuck it all in one plastic bag, except for my parsnips which did not make it into ANY bag. So when I was driving out and you stopped me, thanks for giving me the parsnips in the second plastic bag...
(pulling out hair now)

don't they get it??

Nope. And they don't get it when I say "paper, no plastic" either, and pull the paper bag out of the plast and put the plastic bag on the counter.

Nor does anyone understand why I don't want one large item (a dozen toilet paper rolls, say) in one bag.

They DO seem to get it when you hand them a non-disposable bag (like the kind Whole Foods sells).

Then again, they're getting paid to work as fast as possible, and making a decision about number of bags for every customer would slow that down.

[chickwhorips]

You don't always need to be so dark, you have a pretty smile


dear adopted little sister,
i agree with our other sister.
:)

[Grog]

Dear Bald Eagles,

You've been flying over my head since the morning, as I was coming back from the pool, and once of you even graced me with two passages right in front of my room's window as I getting ready this morning. You followed me on my way to the office, and when I was having lunch outside to enjoy the warm sun you were still high up there. It's funny to see the pigeons and blackbirds try to fly like you, but never attaining your high beauty and, I must say, efficiency. You were still there when I walked back to my office. I'm having a very poor day at school, because just when I need to be most productive at writing I have all sorts of people coming to share their problems with me. But you make my spirit soar. Please be there when I walk out of my office tonight, I'll go out just before dark so it should be pretty for you as for me. If you would like to drop by my office window you're welcome too but I know I'm on ground level and that's just not the sort of thing you do.

Thanks...

[KnottedYet]

Dear Gods and Goddesses of Patience,

Maybe you didn't notice me the first time, cuz I was so brief and to the point? Please, send me a little? Actually, right now I could use a little perspective, too.

And as long as we're at it, why do I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis? Haven't I been having these since I was 13? And what's with the hot flashes AND acne AND gray hair AND raging adolescent-style hormones? And lets not forget the incipient moustache and Andy Rooney eyebrows. If this combination weren't so darn funny, I think I'd be crying right now.

If I can't have patience and perspective and a peaceful mid-life crisis, can I at least have another bottle of wine?

Sincerely yours,
Knot

[Kitsune06]

Dear Gods and Goddesses of Patience,
Please support Knot
Dear Gods and Goddesses of Perspective
Please support Knot
Dear PNW vinyards,
Please support Knot
Dear Knot
*hug*
~aryn

[margo49]

Dear Police Sergeant F...,

Yes, I did give that 16 year old sex offender a chilly reception at the high school kiosk, but I did not refuse to sell him a sandwich, nor did I call him a sex maniac or a pervert as he cited in the complaint he laid against me. He arrived with a provocative expression on his face and smugly said that he did not want to buy anything and what had he done to deserve such a cool reception? To which I replied "Ask all those little girls"

Did it not strike you as a little bit upside down as you opened a brand new one page file in my name and slipped a copy of his complaint against me into an already bulging carton of documentation?
Did you go home that night and say to your wife "Funny old world we live in, isn't it?"

[mimitabby]

Dear great frame maker in the sky
Is there a frame for me? Am I wasting precious time and money worrying about it? and while I'm at it, will the (insert expletive here) on the east coast refund my money today?

Part of me wants to forget the whole thing; give the parts I already bought to DH and just keep on riding my perfectly lovable Bianchi.

I realize that so many people have much bigger problems, heck this doesn't even qualify as a problem! But it has vexed me.

To my credit, when I woke up last night and started worrying (and couldn't go back to sleep) It was my son that I was worrying about, not whether or not
I was ever going to find THE bike. But hey, this is a bike forum, right?
Mimi

[Susan126]

Dear weatherman, When can I expect a perfect weekend? All I ask for are two consecutive days with blue skies, sunshine, and mid 70 degree weather. Hey, I have an event coming up in less than 4 weeks and I don't know if I will be ready to do the long leg of it because you have been so uncooperative.

and Dear Trainer, thanks for pushing me when I say, "I just can't do another squat!" and you reply, "You're stronger than you think." And I discover I AM!!!!!! Then you say, "Ok I want at least 30 minutes on the treadmill after our weight session!" Groan . . . :(

[susiej]

And lets not forget the incipient moustache and Andy Rooney eyebrows. If this combination weren't so darn funny, I think I'd be crying right now.

Sincerely yours,
Knot

Dear Toddler Son,

Stop playing with Mommy's "beard." Mommy has a chin. Daddy has a beard. She hasn't had time to wax this week because she's been cleaning her bike, reading board books, playing with playdough and cleaning the house.

Dear Knotted,

Do you think they give group electrolysis discounts? ;)

(And don't tell anyone, but the Australian box wines aren't that bad and you get four bottles for the price of one.)

[Tuckervill]

Nope. And they don't get it when I say "paper, no plastic" either, and pull the paper bag out of the plast and put the plastic bag on the counter.

They don't get it when I don't put my produce in those little clear plastic baggies. I'm perfectly fine with gathering all my tomatoes and apples in my hand and ringing them separately (not snap beans, though, that would be ridiculous). It's also why I use the self-check, so no one has to be inconvenienced (and I can bag my groceries according to where they go in the kitchen). Is that anal?

Karen

[mimitabby]

Karen
all I can say is ME TOO!
You are not alone, and I am comforted by the fact that I am not the only person that does this!
Mimi

[missymaya]

Dear flubug,
Why do you have to come and infect me? What did I do to deserve this horrible bug and why during spring break and when the weather is absolutely perfect? I can't go to work, go to the beach, focus on my homework, and worst of all, ride my bike!
Please leave me alone, or at least let me hold down some liquid and crackers and let me sleep at least for 4 hours. Please doctor, help me try to hold some liquid down or at least stop throwing up. It's been 3 days and I just want to go back to normal.

[crazycanuck]

Dear Australia Post & US Postal Service,Australian Customs & quarantine service

Have you seen the package RM sent me??? I know she didn't put the honey stingers :eek: in so i'm not in trouble for that :)

People don't send packages just to have thier respective country's postal service lose the item!:mad:

Curious in Australia (& Arizona)

C

[mary9761]

Dear one department doesn't have an idea of what the other is doing, has done or should be doing!
Thank you for screwing around long enough that I've gone since Thanksgiving with a herniated disc, not being able to watch my grandchildren, ride my bike or have much of a freaking life. I haven't seen my two grandsons since Christmas
Thank you for not knowing when my PCP made the referral for Neurosurgery that I ALREADY HAD my MRI just days before! Thank you for not letting Neuro know that I'd had my MRI so they didn't even MAKE my appointment after much questioning until mid February for APRIL 11!! Thanks Neurosurgery department for NOT returning my phone calls for MONTHS!
Thanks to all of you MORONS I have gone from sciatic pain in one leg and lower back pain with a bit of slowing down to me having to dig out my cane to walk to now me having EXTREME difficulty walking some days due to the fact I now have near excruciating pain in BOTH legs now and after spending nearly 12 hours at the freaking hospital with both my husband's appointment as well as waiting 4 hours for MY OWN, that I was hurting so bad and having so much difficulty walking that you suggested the possibility of USING A WALKER to get around better!!!! Thanks for taking me from a 46 year old grandmother who was active, riding 3500+ road miles last year, having a blast with my grandsons and getting healthier every day I was on the bike to a 46 year old near invalid that you're suggesting a FREAKING WALKER to in just a matter of a few months!!!!!
When I get seen Monday, (after MUCH squawking when the second leg got bad) Please make a wise decision and if there is any chance I need surgery don't screw around until I'm PARALYZED!!!! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!
I'm losing my mind, I'm losing what few friends I have and I've lost nearly all of the fitness I had.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Oh, poor Mary!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :(
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGHUGHUG)))))))))))))))))))))