Quote Originally Posted by Dogmama View Post
Jess is right, she does need some therapy to come to terms with reality. Her actions toward her father have been passive/aggressive and up until recently her father and I have been accepting and loving. Not tooting our own horns, but it's the truth. We've overlooked many transgressions, nasty comments & hurtful actions. A year ago, I made Christmas dinner and at the last minute she called, said she was helping a friend move & could we hold dinner for two hours. That was it for me. I told her maybe we'd do it some other time but dinner was ready in 30 minutes & I could not hold it. I told her father it was "game over" as far as I was concerned.
Putting the wedding aside for a second, have you and/or your husband ever talked to your step daughter about her behavior and your hurt and resentful feelings? You haven't mentioned it in describing the dynamic. If you haven't, why not do you think that is?

I ask because I know so many families (including my own) where problems just fester until they blow up past the point of no return. I have to wonder if some of the ill will could be diffused by direct and honest communication. Obviously, it's not a cure all, but it's at least better than bottling everything up.