Quote Originally Posted by soprano View Post
FYI if you contribute a small sum, or none at all, don't expect the happy couple to take requests from you about the guest list, religious/non-religious service, decorations, etc. Money = input. The person holding the checkbook makes the decisions.
Whoa - really?? Ok, I'm pretty clueless about weddings, but I still always assumed that it was the couple who had the right to decide, especially about things like a religious/non-religious service.

No wonder I'm not married (I call him my dh anyway because partner sounds a bit too businesslike for someone I've been sharing my life with for going on 19 years.)

Crankin - are you sure your son wasn't happy with the country club reception thing too, or has he told you that he felt pressured into it? I'm just a bit sensitive about the "difficult DIL" role, since in my family I'm the difficult DIL. I do love my hyper-social MIL, but she's only too happy to blame me for decisions my dh and I take together, like not spending more than 2 or 3 days with them. I can't imagine why, really, because I make much more of an effort to be kind and polite to her than my dh does. He can be downright rude to her when she gets pushy. But I think maybe she feels my role is to force him into being "nice", so when he isn't it's my fault anyway...

ah, family. Can't live with them, can't shoot'em.