Need wedding advice

[soprano]

I think that it's pretty typical these days for the parents to say, "We'll give you this much money towards the wedding." Some parents hand over a check for that amount. Others pay the wedding vendors directly until that amount runs out, and after that costs are the bride and groom's responsibility. If they want something, they can pay for it.

FYI if you contribute a small sum, or none at all, don't expect the happy couple to take requests from you about the guest list, religious/non-religious service, decorations, etc. Money = input. The person holding the checkbook makes the decisions.

When my husband and I got married, we didn't care to have a wedding. We wanted to have a quiet service with our parents and siblings, and then go out for a nice dinner. No dress, decorations, photographer, etc. My mother threw a fit because her extended family would not be invited. So I said, "If you want a wedding, you can pay for it." And that's how it worked. If she wanted something, she paid for it. (This got interesting when it was time to pay the officiant, because my mother thought that clergy should work for free.) My husband and I only paid for the things we wanted: our rings and the license.