Cycling goals ruining friendship

[ny biker]

Okay. So any good tips on how to handle it? I'm not being facetious, I just have no clue.

I would say something to make it clear that the situation wasn't personal. Something like, I'm sorry but I really did have other plans. They fell apart at the last minute so the easiest thing was to go out for a ride by myself. But I am really looking forward to our ride on [whatever] day.

[Flybye]

There is also the good old "I message"
I feel ____
when you ____
because______
I want you to _____
instead.

I feel angry when you act like we can not have a friendship unless I cycle with you every time that I ride (because) I wish that our friendship was based on more than superficial things like bike rides. I want you to give me some room to do things on my own and still be my friend (instead).

[lph]

Thank you, these are good suggestions. I'll try to bear them in mind, and not get caught up into defending myself. I did explain what had happened (in rather explosive language, I'm afraid), and he didn't want to believe me.

I'm going to talk with him today, but with a basic background of distrust I'm not really too optimistic. There is a pattern, but I'm not a therapist and I honestly don't want that burden.

Thanks again, ladies, and sorry for hogging the thread.