Cycling goals ruining friendship

[tangentgirl]

You know, whether it's about cycling or basketweaving, this whole "having a vendetta" thing against friends sucks. You shouldn't have to tiptoe around friends. You shouldn't have to worry that they will be jealous if you ride alone sometimes. That's kind of ridiculous.

[ny biker]

You know, whether it's about cycling or basketweaving, this whole "having a vendetta" thing against friends sucks. You shouldn't have to tiptoe around friends. You shouldn't have to worry that they will be jealous if you ride alone sometimes. That's kind of ridiculous.

That's what I'm thinking.

Maybe you should plan a real training ride that meets your goals (the right location and distance for you) and then just tell her, you're doing this ride but it needs to be a training ride so your goal will be x miles/hour and you will only be stopping x times (or after x miles), and she's welcome to come along. Then if she wants to join you, she comes along and you stick to your plan. But if she gets angry, either because you're not doing her group ride or because she rides with you and wants to stop but you refuse or she gets angry that you dropped her etc. etc., then you don't own that issue.

[PamNY]

You know, whether it's about cycling or basketweaving, this whole "having a vendetta" thing against friends sucks. You shouldn't have to tiptoe around friends. You shouldn't have to worry that they will be jealous if you ride alone sometimes. That's kind of ridiculous.

This is exactly what I think. Just stand firm for what you want/need. I've gotten less tolerant of demanding friends as I get older.

[Tuckervill]

When I was training for a race this winter, I would just let people know MY ride plans - "I'm riding at 10am from X location, pace will be xx mph, and I'm going for 80 miles. Let me know if you can make it." That way, I get in exactly what I need, and if anyone wants to show up, they can.

And then when they get there and they start out doing it your way but then stop every two miles to make an adjustment or get a drink or whatever, you have to be willing to say, "I'll wait for you at the turnaround point." Or, "I'll catch you on the back side".

Else you'll be just like limewave, having your ride co-opted by someone else.

Karen

[ny biker]

And then when they get there and they start out doing it your way but then stop every two miles to make an adjustment or get a drink or whatever, you have to be willing to say, "I'll wait for you at the turnaround point." Or, "I'll catch you on the back side".

Right, that's why I said that if the friend comes along you need to stick to your plan if she wants to stop to rest or gets upset about your going faster than her. Be firm but friendly.