Serious Issue: Advice for Dealing with Alcoholics

[Irulan]

Wonderful Feedback. Thanks! Here are some answers and the rest of the story...

• Yes, Mom is celiac and this exacerabates the problem...
• The doctors are involved and agree that "a couple of drinks a day" is manageable
• the 'source' is not an employee of the facility, and someone currently unknown to us (although I got a couple of suspects out of bed at 3AM this morning)

While understanding that no one was endorsing drinking, I understand that to restrict their access is harsh and possibly impossible. The issue:

• their care is currently costing about $8,000/mo. If they're kicked out of the facility, there are limited affordable options with the next level being private care costing about $20,000/mo. It can be done, but not forever.
• alternatively, they could drink themselves into a nursing home (which medicare would ironically cover) but this would be very bleak...and I guess I'm compelled to protect them from that outcome (even if that's what it takes for them to hit bottom...)

In our visit today:

• Mom was VERY sore and seemed to have regret over what happened (despite limited recollection)
• She's "promising" that if we'll just let her have her 6 oz....she'll live up to her "promise" THIS TIME...
• I've reminded her that her word has little meaning when she continues to lie and then break her promises
• I've told her that we'll only consider allowing continued access IF she accepts our requirement that she get counseling starting this week

So, I'm accepting that we will not mandate a change of attitude and that I can't restrict an adults will...but I'm hoping that a counselor will expand her selfish perspective and help her see the implications of her choices.

this is sad to read because it is so typical of the family dynamic of the FAMILY DISEASE OF ALCOHOLISM. Promises, deals, negotiations.... ultimately it's all BS unless the alcoholic them self decides that they are ready to quit.

Re - intervention. This is not a do it yourself project that you set up with the help of some self help books. Bring in a professional trained to manage these kinds of situations.