Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Silver View Post
Raleighdon:
1) Thank you for your insightful thoughts in three of your paragraphs. As I understand from Mimi's earlier post, you have direct professional experience that gives credibility to your input (as to the matter of dealing with alcoholics). When I ask someone what they think, it's my hope that they'll tell me what they think, not what I want them to say. Your feedback is thought provoking and that's useful.

2) As to your somewhat personal attack on me:
  • You're welcome to criticize me, my motives, my shortcomings, etc.
  • But in all honesty, I'd encourage you to 'earn qualification' to do so by interacting with me directly first. Say the word, and I'll PM you my phone # and email address - Then you can analyze me thoroughly My life's an open book and is anything but perfect...but you can rest assured that "pity" is not a phrase in my vocabulary. I count my blessings everyday.
  • Don't criticize me because we see things differently. I may not hang out in macho places like you, but rest assured I'm very happy with who I am


In business, I dive in head first and confront challenges that don't have evident answers. But, personal matters are not so easy. In reality, there is no single 'right' response. That's where a forum like this is helpful...and this happens to be a very experienced, diverse, and intelligent group where, in 24 hours, I received feedback and encouragement from a culturally and geographically diverse group of people to challenge and guide me.

So, why do I dive in here before diving into the "community services available"? Well, unlike you, we live in a small city...as a matter of fact, I was the board president of a remarkable organization that is THE BEST "community service available" in this area...but it's not suited for this this situation...so I know the local options are limited.

Thanks for your thoughts. My offer of my #/email address is sincere - not for confrontation, but if you have insight into a problem that I don't see, then I'm all ears

Have a Happy New Year!
I/We don't have any problems with anyone knowing what's going on, or our reputations or anything like that. Yes, I know quite a few recovering alcoholics. We know the resources. We know where they meet. I've been to the meetings. I'm a recovering addict. I have a good picture of how these programs can help, where to get resources. But what I know and what I've seen, does not address this situation. Going to an Al-anon meeting is not going to help me navigate the decisions that I need to make today, tonight, tomorrow to meet their needs....the ins and outs of nursing home care, end of life issues.

I truly respect both of you - the more I read your posts, the more I respect you. It takes a great deal of self control and self reflection to handle everything that you are going through in the manner with which you are.

As a side note, I completely agree with #2 on Mr. Silver's list. Nothing was ever gained by criticism - it is a fruitless venting of emotion and frustration UNLESS it is done in love with good intentions, which I don't believe that it was.