Quote Originally Posted by gnat23 View Post
Just please don't PUNISH the poor guy for asking. Unless you had a ring or a picture of your beau on your T-shirt (or even HAD the beau with you on your arm), it probably took that guy a hefty dose of self-talk to even wring up the nerve to ask in a way that was non-creepy non-confrontational and gave you an easy out.

Give him the same respect; if you feel the need to turn down the ride, do so gracefully and honestly and take the offer as a compliment.

-- gnat! (Of all the things we put men through, I don't see any reason to make it worse on them for lack of mind-reading)
Excellent response I am married to a guy who (before my time) had to go through this stuff. He IS a nice guy but it's so hard when people are guessing ulterior motives and "omg does he like me" and if so, does that mean you can't ride with him?

When I first moved to WA, I used to do a lot of riding by myself. One day, I met up with a guy on a bike trail and as we rode, we talked about how maybe it would be great to get together for rides. We did and it was totally casual. One day I was upset and he asked what was wrong. I had been separated from my spouse (different spouse) and said that we were going through divorce proceedings and it was getting to me. The cycling partner hesitated, then said "I didn't know you were married", hesitated again, then asked if I wanted to go to dinner. I said no thanks. The point of it all was, HE wasn't hitting on me and he had no idea of my marital status. Once it was determined and he might've been hitting on me, I said no thanks and riding resumed as normal. Honesty is a great thing and as long as you are honest with this cycling guy, your BF, and yourself, you have nothing to worry about. You could just tell him (as others have suggested) that you have a bf and it's not like you're flaunting it but you wanted to make sure everything was out in the open.

DH puts peoples bikes on their cars for them and carries their stuff and does all sorts of things. Some guys are just NICE.