on yesterday's ride, a phone #

[oxysback]

Invite him on a ride with you and your bf. That should clear up any misunderstanding.

[redrhodie]

Invite him on a ride with you and your bf. That should clear up any misunderstanding.

That's brilliant!

[tulip]

Invite him on a ride with you and your bf. That should clear up any misunderstanding.

I dunno. While it gets the point across, I agree with Lisa that just asking him of his intentions and telling him you have a boyfriend is a better way to go. Although I have not always practiced the direct approach, I'm learning that it's really the best way to do things.

[Zen]

How about just don't call him.

[Cataboo]

How about getting your best friend to check with his best friend to see if he just likes you or if he likes you likes you?

[Blueberry]

I have to be a point of disagreement here.

I'd assume he just wants to ride, unless there's a serious indication to the contrary. Go for a ride, mention the boyfriend (my boyfriend and I are going out to diner tonight, etc). That way, he knows. You could even mention it when calling to set up a ride (I can't this night, BF and I have plans). And you haven't assumed he was interested in something he might or might not be interested in.

Maybe he doesn't want to hammer with the team all the time? Maybe your riding matches with his training style? I just wouldn't see it as a problem.

CA

[redrhodie]

I would not be disappointed if he doesn't like me like me.

As for not calling him, that's what I'd normally do, but I'm sure I'll see him again. He lives across the street from my lbs, and knows my commute route.

I think I just thought of the perfect solution. I'm going to make a hair appointment for bf with his sister. Then, I can say your sister gave my bf a great haircut! next time I see him. That'll work, and no one feels weird.

[alpinerabbit]

I would do what BleekerSt Girl recommended. Just talk straight.

[Mr. Bloom]

I think I just thought of the perfect solution. I'm going to make a hair appointment for bf with his sister. Then, I can say your sister gave my bf a great haircut! next time I see him. That'll work, and no one feels weird.

red: This is a very good solution; don't call him, prepare for getting the message across indirectly and softly. It's rare, but Zen and I agree

Frankly, I'm surprised at the amount of bad advice on here:

- If you're in a committed relationship and you think this guy if pursuing you, no contact is appropriate.
- If you think he's interested in you, then don't assume he's really interested in just riding and that a subsequent, more uncomfortable, situation won't arise
- If you think he's pursuing you and you want to ride with him...and you're in a committed relationship - then it's time to reevaluate your commitment to the existing relationship 'cause you're throwing the future of your relationship into the fickle hands of fate instead of on the foundation of your own firm resolve.

Just MHO

[maillotpois]

How about getting your best friend to check with his best friend to see if he just likes you or if he likes you likes you?

SNORT! Good one!

[lph]

ooh, how flattering!

I think you thought of the perfect, diplomatic - and dare I generalize - very female solution . I think it could get a little uncomfortable if you call him for a ride and he thinks of it as a date, and only then does he find out you're not single.

Honest, I've met guys who get all kerfluffed over women who don't "understand" when a date is a date and not a friend thing. Not just disappointed, but irritated. Don't ask me why, to my mind someone wanting to be my friend is a great compliment too.