Just a warning Mimi... beware of what you hear on a widow's forum. These types of groups are notorious for people who just never are able to heal. Not just widow's groups, but all kinds of groups on the internet. I've treated people who have become more depressed over their particular situation because of all of the negativity/misinformation they have heard on line. Of course you should give yourself an A.
Of course, I don't do any forums, except TE, as I just feel weird about it. But, when I lost my first baby at 8 months of pregnancy, I went to a group for grieving parents. After going to that, I kind of snapped out of my own grief. Really quickly. There were people there whose kids had died 10-20 years ago. I didn't want to be like them.
I know it's not the same, but your statement reminded of this and I hadn't thought of that group in years.