Dear So and So

[Sky King]

In large cities it is considered careless to leave valuables in your car. She should not leave her phone! computers! and the like in her car.

Normally she keeps nothing in her car but that doesn't even seem to stop the break-ins, one time they broke in and ripped apart her glove box there wasn't anything in the car. This time they had stopped on the way home to have dinner and were parked close to the restaurant it wasn't even late - before 9pm.

[alexis_the_tiny]

Dear anorexia, oh hello, you again. This time around, I don't even know what to do with you. I'll just take my multi-vites and eat when I can make myself and maybe, eventually, you'll go away. I'm too tired to keep fighting you.

[OakLeaf]

((((((((alexis))))))))

I worried when you put up the other posts. Do you have anyone at all you can talk to? Get back in touch with a therapist you've worked with in the past?

Please take care. Try to eat. Try to do some of the things that have helped you with these feelings in the past - even if it doesn't feel like they're working now. I care.

[Crankin]

Alexis, please, please see a mental health professional.
Getting your nutrition/eating assessed and normalized should be the first thing anyone you work with does.
PM me if you want.

[indysteel]

(((Alexis))). I'm so sorry you're suffering. While I never got thin enough to be labeled as an anorexic, I used disordered eating for years as a coping mechanism when I felt out of control. Therapy, yoga and cycling were my saving grace. I hope you find the help you need. Please reach out to a professional.

[Owlie]

(((Alexis)))

[alexis_the_tiny]

Thanks a lot, guys. I've been referred and my follow up is next week. I've realized that I starve not as a way to get control but overwhelming anxiety makes it really hard to eat. And when the anxiety has eased up, I still panic when eating and eventually, whatever I've eaten will get vomited up. Not because I'm inducing myself to vomit, it just comes up. So far, I've been able to get cereal and yogurt down once a day along with the multis so I'm still getting some nutrition.

[indysteel]

I'm so glad you have some insight into what's causing these episodes, Alexis, and that you're planning to talk to someone. I hope you find some relief soon. Hugs!

[laura*]

Dear nano-climates:

I hate you.

The weather forecast is for a short dry heat wave with "Santa Ana" style wind. The wind is supposed to be significantly drying. The relative humidity is expected to drop and remain low. There was even talk of a red flag forest fire danger.

I could probably throw burning coals into my yard and they would self extinguish. Last week (a week ago!) it rained 0.1" (yes, a tenth of an inch). The road, the driveway, the ground, the weeds, everything is still wet. The afternoon high briefly reached the mid 70's - which is about 20 degrees cooler than the forecast.

[Biciclista]

It's been 3 months. 3 months of not having my main squeeze. I've gotten my health back. (Maybe not all of my mental health)
I realize that without my dear obsessive cycling husband, I will probably never ride long distances (100k's) again, but I will continue to ride and promote cycling.
The house rings with silence when I don't remember to turn on the radio. I am so lucky because my DH wrote and wrote, all over facebook, all over bike journal. His blog has over 100 posts. He left scraps of paper around the house with short poems on it, he left journals, unmailed letters to the editor. He left little time capsules in cigarboxes, where he had keepsakes, letters, photos, and then put the box away... so each one is from a different era. There's only a few of them, but you can see what he cherished during that particular time.
I am sad and lonely and I miss him, but I am enough out of the black grief to know how lucky we were. How much he gave me, my sons, our family, his friends, his community...
okay, back to your regular station...

[marni]

dear Tamoxifen,
I am sick of losing four or five day of my life to you every six weeks or so. At this point I am almost hoping ( not really but that's how I feel) that next weeks mammogram on the remaining breast shows up with something that will require surgery so I can ust be through with this. I have lost 10% of my stregth, endurance and motivation from the first mastectomy and now matter how hard I work, it seems that I am still slowly sliding backwards. I am defintiely going to talk to the Dr. about just getting rid of you but with my luck, the changes and bouts of tamoxifen "poisoning" ( hot flashes, sweats, anxiety, loss of sleep, weepeiness, depression, anger, moodiness, and temporary weight gainwill become a permanent fixture for my life whether I take the **** pills or not.

signed I want my life back.

[Biciclista]

ah, Marni, chemo SUCKS. I hope you can get done with it SOON.

[Owlie]

(((Mimi)))
(((Marni)))

[indysteel]

(((Mimi)))
(((Marni)))

+1.

[OakLeaf]

Hugs to you both.