i got yelled at today

[redrhodie]

I've been in a business relationship for the past 2 months. Right from the beginning, I told them their deadlines may not be possible for me to meet, but I'd try my best and see. I met with them (they are a married couple) a few days ago, and he wanted the product(s) in stores by Christmas. I told him right then it was not possible--I would not be able to do it. They poo-pooed me, like I didn't know what I was saying, and kept talking. They're big talkers. Well, the next morning, I got an email from him detailing an even longer list of products (than the ones I had said no to completing in time for Christmas) that were due October 24th, and he was glad we were "on the same page". It was like he never listened to anything I said. He refused to acknowledge that I had said no.

So last night, after much stress and contemplation, I emailed my collegues that I was in over my head with the project, there was no way I could meet the deadlines (which should not have been a surprise to them, had they listened to me speak), and I didn't think I was right for the job. I also referred them to another person who may be able to complete the job in the time frame they wanted.

Well, first thing this morning, I get a phone call from HIM. Right from the start, he's SCREAMING at me (at 8am, I must ad). He called me every name in the book (including the "C" word), at one point YELLING "I'M A PROFESSIONAL! I'M A PROFESSIONAL WRITER AND A PROFESSIONAL BUSINESSMAN! YOU DON'T SO THIS TO ME, YOU MEALY MOUTH *****!" (professional toddler or jerk is more like it, mr. temper tantrum!) He said so much more, but it's all a blurr. I held the phone up to DBF's ear because I couldn't believe what was being said to me by this "business colleague". His (DBF's) mouth opened in shock at the tyrade, and he claims he's never heard anyone so mad before in his life. I agree with that!

I don't know what else I could have done to end a project that I couldn't do. I thought honesty was the best route to take, but I guess they wanted to be strung along, with me missing deadline after deadline. That was my alternative to the approach I took.

I also should ad, I've not been (and will not be) paid a cent for all my work, and it was many hours of labor, meeting with them, travelling for supplies, etc. They have all the things I've made so far, and I'm out a lot of hours, but thankful for the lessons learned! There's no way I would ever work with someone who was so foulmouthed, angry, and abusive. I'm glad I found out before my name was associated with them and their product. At least I can walk away with my reputation clean. I can't imagine I'm the first person he's attacked in this way.

Oh, yeah, they came to me for this. I wasn't looking for a job. They wanted to collaborate with me.

[Eden]

wow! what a jerk (sounds like my old boss..... ).
You did the right thing to break it off with them. Better to cut your losses now before you're in that deep - no one needs toxic relationships like that.
Some people think that if they yell and scream and throw a tantrum miracles can happen and you'll somehow be able to make what they want done happen. I won't deal with jerks like that.

[Nokomis]

Oh, yeah, they came to me for this. I wasn't looking for a job. They wanted to collaborate with me.

That's miserable! And they didn't want to collaborate - they wanted to use you. Glad you're out now. If you had any kind of contract or understanding for your involvement, and if they are now in possetion of Anything that your time & effort went in to, send them a bill.

In future, I'd strongly reccomend working under contract only. Fees, schedules, etc. all in writing and signed by both parties before Any work is started.

[LBTC]

rr - I think you did the right thing in contacting them in writing to withdraw from the business commitment and provide them alternate solutions. He had no right to yell at you! And, yes, how great that you found this out early in the relationship, while you could still get out!

How did the conversation end? Did you respond in some way, or did you hang up and walk away?

Either way, give yourself a pat on the back! Some headaches just are not worth it!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[redrhodie]

The contract has been "coming this week" since July! I know, I shouldn't have begun the project without it (another lesson learned), and I know I have the right to fight for money, but I'd rather let it go and not have to think about them any more. They're very litigious, so there still may be some action (even though I had no contract and received no money), if that happens, I'll counter-sue for my costs. They claim we had an oral agreement, which should be disputable by the emails I sent stating I would not continue working without a contract we have all agreed to and signed.

There was also an issue with one of the suppliers not being paid, so I said I'd send the products I've worked on to them after that supplier had received and cashed their check. They went into a fit, said they'd come for "their stuff" (the products I made, unpaid) today with the police, which I know is laughable, but it did put their sanity into question. I called the supplier and told him if he doesn't receive the check, I'll pay him out of my pocket (which he said he wouldn't accept-- he's a good guy), and I sent the products off to them. It wasn't that they intimidated me (although the though has occurred to me that he might run me over while I'm riding--he was Clara Harris mad!) but more that I just don't want to waste another day dealing with them. Luckily, they don't live in my town!

Eden, I'm so sorry you had a boss like that! I can't imagine dealing with that kind of person on a regular basis. I told my dear friend about the phone call, and she said it sounds like her husband Yikes! I've been encouraging her to leave him for years.

LBTC, I was very calm, never raised my voice or sounded like he bothered me. I was very cool, hoping he would see he wasn't being rational. It ended with the wife taking the phone, and she was more reasonable, but still not quite professional. She claimed that my insistance that the supplier be paid was insulting, and that maybe I didn't pay my bills, so that's why I would accuse them of not paying theirs. Kind of nutty, right?

thanks for letting me vent! I love TE!

[redrhodie]

Not that I'm one for revenge, but if I were, I have the perfect plan....

This couple performs a cabaret act. No reason I shouldn't get first row tickets, is there? heh, heh. There's no way he wouldn't choke if he saw me in the audience. He'd lose all concentration. It would be divine to see him blow it in public.

[Duck on Wheels]

I'm not so sure they're nutty. I think they sound greedy and manipulative. And they've got their way, haven't they? Up to a point. They've got all your work so far for free, and a whole lot of supplies as well. They may well have pulled this stunt before, so if they do sue, try to find out who they've "collaborated" with before. Aside from that, you do seem to have come from the experience a wiser businesswoman. And you can be proud of yourself for keeping your cool. So breathe deep, and move on. Just hang onto those emails and whatever other documentation you have, since you may find yourself needing it down the line.

[Trek420]

Not that I'm one for revenge, but if I were, I have the perfect plan....

This couple performs a cabaret act. No reason I shouldn't get first row tickets, is there? heh, heh. There's no way he wouldn't choke if he saw me in the audience. He'd lose all concentration. It would be divine to see him blow it in public.

Yep, you and a whole lot of friends in the front row....or informational picket at the door.

I was very cool, hoping he would see he wasn't being rational. It ended with the wife taking the phone, and she was more reasonable, but still not quite professional. She claimed that my insistance that the supplier be paid was insulting, and that maybe I didn't pay my bills, so that's why I would accuse them of not paying theirs. Kind of nutty, right?

Hah, no, he's not going to see he's being unrational because trust me on this he's gotten others to do work for free, pay for supplies this way before.

[Zen]

Oh, i wish you hadn't given him the product.
He doesn't have any legal legs to stand on, particularly considering you have at least some record of your business dealings.

He'll finance his way right into bankruptcy and dig his own grave via aneurysm.

[redrhodie]

So now they want me to contact one of the maufacturers (the one who has still not been paid) to get the molds I had made sent to them. They'd "greatly appreciate any assistance". Sheesh! What a noive!

How does this sound for my response: "Since Bill referred to me as a "mealy mouth *****" and a "f***ing c**t" (among other things), in our conversation this morning, I am no longer wanting any involvement with either of you."?

Or, should I just call the guy, have the molds sent, and be done with it?

[Zen]

Or, should I just call the guy, have the molds sent, and be done with it?

ABSOLUTELY NOT
He's on his own. Obviously he's pi$$ed everybody off and thinks you might be malleable enough to do his dirty work.

Be done with him.

Do you have caller I.D.? Don't even deal with him on the phone, do everything else by email so you'll have records.

[teigyr]

I wouldn't talk to him, I wouldn't send anything to anybody, and I would pretend like he doesn't exist. That includes talking to his wife, other business partners, or anybody else to do with this.

That's just me though I know you did a lot of work for free but you should give up nothing else. That includes postage, time, or anything.

Rude. I read this earlier today and couldn't believe it. What a bully!

[Trek420]

The work you've done, till paid for by him .... or another client is yours to keep. If he wants to deliver a contract and pay you for the work done so far, and a hefty "I'm sorry I was such an **hole" fee I'd be done with him.

I'd report him to the BBB so prospective workers etc are warned.

As for the behavior on the phone that's unaceptable. I work in a call center and I don't tolerate it. Even when we've really f*cked things up and deserve to be called every name in the book you're talking to me, not a company, I'm a person. I will apologize up the yazoo if we blew it and even if we haven't done anything wrong as in "I'm sorry your payment that you mailed three months after it was due was late but..." and I can calm almost anyone down.

But I usually warn the caller I won't be talked to that way if they continue they go on hold till my ears stop ringing.

People are really rude these days.

[nancielle]

... (snippaty doo dah)at one point YELLING "I'M A PROFESSIONAL! I'M A PROFESSIONAL WRITER AND A PROFESSIONAL BUSINESSMAN! YOU DON'T SO THIS TO ME, YOU MEALY MOUTH *****!" (professional toddler or jerk is more like it, mr. temper tantrum!) ....

I also should ad, I've not been (and will not be) paid a cent for all my work, and it was many hours of labor, meeting with them, travelling for supplies, etc. They have all the things I've made so far, and I'm out a lot of hours

It sounds like he's more of a professional con artist...he got labor and product for not an ounce of effort or payment on his part. He sounds like a weasly slime bucket.

[Bad JuJu]

I wouldn't talk to him, I wouldn't send anything to anybody, and I would pretend like he doesn't exist. That includes talking to his wife, other business partners, or anybody else to do with this.

That's just me though I know you did a lot of work for free but you should give up nothing else. That includes postage, time, or anything.

I'm 100% with teigyr on this--don't waste any more time or energy--psychic, physical, or otherwise--on these creeps. What's almost as bad as the yelling is their refusal to listen to you. Nobody should have to put up with that.

I took a pay cut to leave one job and take a new one about 7 years ago because my boss yelled at people, sometimes in public. He never yelled at me, but it was just too hard working for a guy that I knew could go off at any moment if things weren't going his way. It was well worth the $3k a year I gave up to find a place where I could do my work in peace.