Dear Cat

[Blueberry]

Dear Cats-

Thank you for not freaking out that there is an obnoxious dog in your space. I'm sorry he has to be here, but he does (since my dad has scheduled his knee replacement surgery, and the dog can't go home until he is home and recovered). We'll keep trying to give you extra scratches and treats, and please give the dog a wide berth when his food is out (since he has already snarled at you for walking past). We won't feed him when we aren't there to supervise, of course. If we haven't told you lately, you are awesome cats!

[pll]

pll, there is a dog version too...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw1C5T-fH2Y

I found the cat one funnier. The dog version is to focused on... bodily functions.

[smilingcat]

Dear cats and dogs too...

All of you are misbehaving beyond words. I love each and everyone of you. However, this latest is really trying my patience to a point where I can literally scream and throw all of you out of the house. I feed you, I play with you, I let most of you sleep on my bed with me... And all of you in return do these horrible act? What do I not understand?

I'm tired of wet vacuuming the living room carpet. Cats, you have five yes that's right you have five litter boxes. Three of them are gigaenormous plastic storage tub that I've modified to be a litter box. It's like a sand box.

GAHHHH!!!!

Would anyone like to adopt a mischievous cats? They are all bottle fed by me and raised to be a very loving house cats. Never been outside. Pampered and very loving.

[kajero]

I know you didn't like the new litter box Don bought you, but did you really have to use the guest room carpet to poop on and my beautiful quilt to pee on for two weeks? You just knew I don't check that downstairs room very often, didn't you?

Dear Cat:

What do you have against me in that downstairs room?

We couldn't get the smell out of the carpet so we re-carpeted the room. We decided to do away with the guest room and turn it in to a sewing room for me.
So now you had to get behind me when I was ironing a seam. I tripped on your tail and dropped the iron on the new carpet. The sole plate melted the carpet and now I have a impression of the bottom of the iron on my brand new carpet. Perhaps I should be thankful the melted carpet doesn't smell like the litter box episode.

And you wonder why I quit buying treats.

Love, Mom.

PS thank you for returning to use your old litter box.

[kajero]

Dear Cat:

What do you have against me in that downstairs room?

Now you had slip into the room unnoticed, jump up on the cabinet, and topple my sewing accessory box to the floor. Everything is all over the place. I better be able to find all the sewing machine feet tomorrow morning when it is light out or your name is mud! Some of those accessories will be very expensive to replace if they have gone to no-mans' land.

You are absolutely trying my patience!

Mom

[smilingcat]

Why why why??

I woke this morning to find my desk completely "wiped clean". all my pencils and pens in a small pitcher were scattered on the floor. All the letters/bills that were neatly organized were found on the floor. My cell phone, mp3 players also on the floor. Everything was on the floor. You didn't miss a thing.

Then tonight, one of you went into my bathroom and knocked a roll of paper towel, half a roll, in the sink and proceeded to turn on the faucet hot water no less. I think its been running for more than half an hour.

There were other horrible deeds but they are so horrible I can't mention it here.

Your litter boxes are clean, your water bowls have fresh clean water, your food dishes gets washed twice a day. You get fed three times a day so what is the deal??

You say because its full moon tonight? But all of you are cats not dogs. Holly is a dog but she didn't do any of this.

Good thing my digital caliper didn't get broken or else!!

[lph]

Dear sweet drama queen of the universe,

we love you dearly and we want you to be well. Is there any possible chance you could, just for a few years now, suffer from something that wasn't mysterious, fleeting, and causing huge veterinary bills? Like ordinary cats do? I don't think there is a specific insurance for Hypochondriac Cats.

[Helene2013]

HA! I hear you on this. My mom took me to the vet rush on Friday night (altough she was bed ridden with a bad cold/flu) because they had noticed I had problem peeing. Was always trying in hard in litterbox but only a few drops at a time, for the past week. They were afraid of blockage and you can die quickly of this they told me. Vet kept me in crate (what a pain!) until I had enough pee in bladder to get a needle into my stomach for a pee sample, and then shaved my beautiful long hair on tummy to get ultrasound done. Ended up I have beautiful urine (no blood, no sugar), and ultrasound showed no stone. So vet said it was psychological! Heuh! What???? So mom ended up paying a nice bill, for me. But they are still watching me in case. And they had a full panel blood test done after in case it showed something wrong with my body. I do have elevated ALT so need to be rechecked again in a month. oh well. They got a scare but I'm ok. I like to play diva.

[lph]

It just never fails. She gets sick, and not just mopey, but don't-mind-me-while-I-crawl-into-a-corner-to-die-sick only on Fridays, Saturdays or Sundays, thereby ensuring either an emergency weekend call or a stay at the vets over the weekend, which in Norway has astronomical fees.

[Helene2013]

Don't we love them heuh!

[azfiddle]

Dear Rory,

Thank you for welcoming little 4 month old Bran into our house. You know the reason he came to live with us is because you seemed to be missing the dog when she moved out with my son about 6 weeks ago, and you were pestering us humans a lot. I was a little nervous about the all the cat-wrestling at first, but it seems to be all in fun, and even though it's been less than a week, I noticed that the two of you seem to be spending a lot of time near each other. Sometimes you come up and touch noses. I noticed he gobbles his treats and tries to steal yours, so be patient with him and I'll make sure you get your share.

I hope this is the start of a long and happy cat-friendship

[smilingcat]

Dear cat,

I don't know which one of you did it but now the computer I use for surfing the internet is missing two keys!! One of you pried and peeld away two keys off this lap top. I guess you thought I don't need the closing curly bracket, closing square bracket, a vertical bar and the back slash. The brackets are very important when I write TCL code, They are an integral part of the programming language. The vertical bar is needed for ...

GAHHH!!!

Yes this lap top is old but its still working just fine and it still has enough ummph to surf the internet and do few other things.

Why are you making my life more difficult!!?

[snapdragen]

That is too funny. Did you look under the couch?

[Eden]

or down the heater vents (if you have them)

[lph]

Very funny :-D

Yesterday cat had pulled out and shredded some of my sons homework overnight. She's not usually quite that boisterous on her own and I don't think he had any food left in his school bag, so I'm guessing she had caught a mouse and it ran and hid there, and the shredding was part of the ensuing hunt.

But I guess you can still say "the cat ate my homework!!"