Dear Cat

[owlice]

Dear Little Cat,

The toilet does the.same.thing every time I flush it, I promise! You don't need to check!

Pettings,

The woman who feeds you

[skhill]

Dear Chaos kitty,

Gravity isn't going away. I promise. There's really no need to check on whether things still fall when you knock them off a high place, every single day...

--the woman who feeds you

ps the dog isn't going to feed you, no matter how much you ask him. I'm the only one aroud here with opposible thumbs...

[bmccasland]

Dear Chole kitten,
Some parts of the kitchen counter you're allowed on - as that's the only way to get to the kitchen window. But to the left of the sink and the stove is not allowed. I realize that you don't know left from right yet, but when I cook something on the stove, I don't need your help.

Signed,
the lady that bailed you out of the shelter

[bmccasland]

Dear Big Sister Cat,

The litter box is for pooping, not the floor by the litter box. Why do you do this?

the lady who cleans your messes, and who feeds you

[zoom-zoom]

Dear Little Cat,

The toilet does the.same.thing every time I flush it, I promise! You don't need to check!

Pettings,

The woman who feeds you

Ha, our youngest cat will ONLY drink from running water...he gets very upset if someone puts the lid down before flushing the toilet. He will also beg us to flush the toilet so that he can get a cold drink. We bought one of those $$ cat fountains, but it was a PITA to clean and the water wasn't cold enough for his royal highness.

Dear almost-18-year-old-girl-kitty,

We brought a litter box upstairs so that you would stop peeing in the dirty laundry and we thought maybe it's hard on you to get up and down the basement stairs, but you continued to pee in the laundry. We brought a 2nd one up, thinking that you wanted separate boxes for #1 and #2. What is your deal (she's checked-out fine at the vet)? We're going to get rid of these upstairs boxes, now, since you won't comply, the 3 boys (one of whom doesn't believe in burying his massive turds) are stinkin' up the joint, tracking litter all over the kitchen, and no longer going to the effort to use the big boxes in the basement.

Sincerely,
She who is tired of pre-washing everything you p!ss on

[Biciclista]

Dear Aggie
I am really really really tired of your constant carrying on all night long. I got DH to agree to NOT let you out in the middle of the night. It has been 3 weeks and you are still carrying on. I wish I knew what your problem was!

Dear Owlice
If you go out somewhere in your yard and cultivate a small area for the cats they will use it happily. But if all you have is grass (or weeds) they won't be able to find a "decent" place to go.

[Possegal]

Dear cat who was apparently a bell-hop in a former life,

I really would like to know two things - WHY and HOW - did you manage to move my 9.2 lb cube-shaped luggage from my bedroom to the hallway. It only weighs a pound less than you. Do you have amazingly strong teeth? Are you hiding opposable thumbs from me? Did you have help?

Puzzled,

Your fascinated owner(roommate?)

[westtexas]

Dear Black and White Kitty,

Why are you pulling all your hair out? You look terrible bald. Also, you throw up lots of hairballs now. I would appreciate it if you would just leave yourself alone and let me brush you instead. Or at least take your anti-OCD medication like a champ instead of drooling all over my floor.

Just trying to help,

Your human slave.

[badger]

Dear Kitty,

why do you come back inside to barf the grass? couldn't you just do it outside so I don't have to move the bed to clean the mess?

- Your slave.

[Bethany1]

Dear Buttons,

I know you have street smarts from living outside the first two months of your life, but going through the trash cans and stealing food from unsuspecting humans is getting annoying. The worst part is you are teaching my older cat to do the same thing as he snatched half my cupcake and started wolfing it down the other day.

Also, why do have a thing for socks? You steal them out of the laundry or the bedrooms and drag them around. Trying to get them back turns into a tug of war.

Getting out the squirt bottle now,

Your Slave

[Thorn]

Dear Black and White Kitty,

Why are you pulling all your hair out? You look terrible bald. Also, you throw up lots of hairballs now. I would appreciate it if you would just leave yourself alone and let me brush you instead. Or at least take your anti-OCD medication like a champ instead of drooling all over my floor.

Just trying to help,

Your human slave.

Psst...gluten intolerance? Had a cat that pulled out her hair. Turned out she was gluten intolerant and the hair pulling was a pain reaction. Put her on a gluten-free diet and she's got fur, she's active and I think some days the princess costs more to feed than me.

Now, if someone could explain....

Dear Boy Cat,

They are wool socks. Just socks. You can leave then in the dirty clothes pile. No need to bring them upstairs one at a time. And, really, no need to announce to the world you found another.

The Can Opener

[jessmarimba]

VELCRO!!! too cute!

Dear Skunk,
I'm out of slippers. You're going to have to find someplace else to puke. Just please let it be where I can find it, because mummified cat vomit is disturbing. Oh, and I'm with everyone else on the request to poop IN the litterbox, rather than beside it.

Sincerely,
the mean lady who won't let you outside anymore

[westtexas]

Psst...gluten intolerance? Had a cat that pulled out her hair. Turned out she was gluten intolerant and the hair pulling was a pain reaction. Put her on a gluten-free diet and she's got fur, she's active and I think some days the princess costs more to feed than me.

Well, maybe, but Theo's been on a grain-free diet since I got him 3 years ago. He only has done it when other cats have lived with us, but this time it's worse than usual. I think the move, coupled with weird apartment noises (we used to live in a very quiet, secluded neighborhood), a new kitty in our lives, and all the travelling I have been doing lately has him really stressed out. He's my sweet, sensitive boy. Amitryptilline seems to do the trick though!

[Rebecca19804]

Dear Aggie
I am really really really tired of your constant carrying on all night long. I got DH to agree to NOT let you out in the middle of the night. It has been 3 weeks and you are still carrying on. I wish I knew what your problem was!

Hi Mimi, I don't know the details of course but understand that persistent 'yowling' can indicate a thyroid problem? Just a thought.

On the other hand, maybe the neighbours got a new dog?

[Biciclista]

ick thyroid. Already went down that road with other cat. And now this time we can't afford it. !! gotta go to the veterinarian.