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Thread: Dear Cat

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    633

    Dear Cat

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    Dear Cats,

    You come in from outside to use the litter box. Why do you do that?

    Puzzled,

    The woman who feeds you
    __________________________________________________

    Dear Little Cat,

    What IS it with you and emery boards?? Please stop stealing them!

    Curious,

    The woman who feeds you
    __________________________________________________

    Dear Big Cat,

    Remember "the bite" back in May? The feeling in my thumb is finally starting to return.

    Scarred,

    The woman who feeds you
    Last edited by owlice; 09-12-2011 at 04:36 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    633
    Dear Little Cat,

    The toilet does the.same.thing every time I flush it, I promise! You don't need to check!

    Pettings,

    The woman who feeds you

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Posts
    942
    Dear Chaos kitty,

    Gravity isn't going away. I promise. There's really no need to check on whether things still fall when you knock them off a high place, every single day...

    --the woman who feeds you

    ps the dog isn't going to feed you, no matter how much you ask him. I'm the only one aroud here with opposible thumbs...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    around Seattle, WA
    Posts
    3,250
    Dear Chole kitten,
    Some parts of the kitchen counter you're allowed on - as that's the only way to get to the kitchen window. But to the left of the sink and the stove is not allowed. I realize that you don't know left from right yet, but when I cook something on the stove, I don't need your help.

    Signed,
    the lady that bailed you out of the shelter
    Beth

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    around Seattle, WA
    Posts
    3,250
    Dear Big Sister Cat,

    The litter box is for pooping, not the floor by the litter box. Why do you do this?

    the lady who cleans your messes, and who feeds you
    Beth

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    West MI
    Posts
    4,308
    Quote Originally Posted by owlice View Post
    Dear Little Cat,

    The toilet does the.same.thing every time I flush it, I promise! You don't need to check!

    Pettings,

    The woman who feeds you
    Ha, our youngest cat will ONLY drink from running water...he gets very upset if someone puts the lid down before flushing the toilet. He will also beg us to flush the toilet so that he can get a cold drink. We bought one of those $$ cat fountains, but it was a PITA to clean and the water wasn't cold enough for his royal highness.

    Dear almost-18-year-old-girl-kitty,

    We brought a litter box upstairs so that you would stop peeing in the dirty laundry and we thought maybe it's hard on you to get up and down the basement stairs, but you continued to pee in the laundry. We brought a 2nd one up, thinking that you wanted separate boxes for #1 and #2. What is your deal (she's checked-out fine at the vet)? We're going to get rid of these upstairs boxes, now, since you won't comply, the 3 boys (one of whom doesn't believe in burying his massive turds) are stinkin' up the joint, tracking litter all over the kitchen, and no longer going to the effort to use the big boxes in the basement.

    Sincerely,
    She who is tired of pre-washing everything you p!ss on
    Kirsten
    run/bike log
    zoomylicious


    '11 Cannondale SuperSix 4 Rival
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    '14 Seven Mudhoney S Ti/disc/Di2

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Beautiful NW or Left Coast
    Posts
    5,645
    Dear Aggie
    I am really really really tired of your constant carrying on all night long. I got DH to agree to NOT let you out in the middle of the night. It has been 3 weeks and you are still carrying on. I wish I knew what your problem was!

    Dear Owlice
    If you go out somewhere in your yard and cultivate a small area for the cats they will use it happily. But if all you have is grass (or weeds) they won't be able to find a "decent" place to go.
    I like Bikes - Mimi
    Watercolor Blog

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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    1,628
    Dear cat who was apparently a bell-hop in a former life,

    I really would like to know two things - WHY and HOW - did you manage to move my 9.2 lb cube-shaped luggage from my bedroom to the hallway. It only weighs a pound less than you. Do you have amazingly strong teeth? Are you hiding opposable thumbs from me? Did you have help?

    Puzzled,

    Your fascinated owner(roommate?)
    You too can help me fight cancer, and get a lovely cookbook for your very own! My team's cookbook is for sale Click here to order. Proceeds go to our team's fundraising for the Philly Livestrong Challenge!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Big City
    Posts
    444
    Dear Black and White Kitty,

    Why are you pulling all your hair out? You look terrible bald. Also, you throw up lots of hairballs now. I would appreciate it if you would just leave yourself alone and let me brush you instead. Or at least take your anti-OCD medication like a champ instead of drooling all over my floor.

    Just trying to help,

    Your human slave.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,336
    Dear Kitty,

    why do you come back inside to barf the grass? couldn't you just do it outside so I don't have to move the bed to clean the mess?

    - Your slave.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Greater Denver, CO
    Posts
    83
    Dear Dog-cat,

    We miss you.

    Hope you're having a good time whereever you are now - with lots of warm laps and treats to eat.

    Love, the homo sapiens and the dogs.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Southeast Nebraska
    Posts
    470
    Dear Buttons,

    I know you have street smarts from living outside the first two months of your life, but going through the trash cans and stealing food from unsuspecting humans is getting annoying. The worst part is you are teaching my older cat to do the same thing as he snatched half my cupcake and started wolfing it down the other day.

    Also, why do have a thing for socks? You steal them out of the laundry or the bedrooms and drag them around. Trying to get them back turns into a tug of war.

    Getting out the squirt bottle now,

    Your Slave

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Indianapolis, Indiana
    Posts
    10,956
    ROFLMAO...thank you so much for sharing the wonderful quirkiness of cats

    I have fond memories of when I first brought Jasmine home from the rescue shelter - he was about 10 months old at the time. He wasn't entirely certain that the stuffed black bear wasn't real and couldn't rest at night if it wasn't on the floor. The thing was 3xs his size and it was a hoot to watch him help the bear to the floor.every.single.night. I finally had mercy on him and found another place to put it

    Then there was Tigger who couldn't stand to see me in my stocking feet. Catherine's feet out of shoes and still wearing socks was in dire danger of the sock bandit! He finally broke me of doing this and I started wearing sandals around the house instead He would also dig through my laundry basket in his effort to assure that no dirty sock missed his careful attention!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    1,972
    Bethany, did Buttons ever have kittens? My friend's cat "mothers" litters of socks, since her real kittens were taken from her too early (before she was found and fixed).

    "I never met a donut I didn't like" - Dave Wiens

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Chicago suburbs
    Posts
    1,244
    My male kitty, who spends LOTS of supervised (by DH) time outdoors has never, ever pooped or pee'd outside. He will ALWAYS wait to come indoors to use the litterbox. And there are plenty of spots where he could 'go'...he just doesn't seem to like doing it outdoors. I guess he is well-trained and must think that going potty outdoors is for "uncivilized" cats.
    2012 Seven Axiom SL - Specialized Ruby SL 155

 

 

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