Where to start?

When I started riding I was very competitive. I did a lot of group rides with "the guys" who always tried to drop me. It was my goal to stay with them longer until one day, shazaam!, they couldn't shake me.

Then I had kids. I still rode, but with dd in the trailer bike. I found a new friend, "Sarah" to ride with. She is slower, takes a lot of breaks. It's been nice having her to ride with in the interim.

But, now my schedule has freed up and I can sneak out in the daytime. I've signed up for some late-summer and fall races this year. I'm working on dropping some weight and getting my body in shape.

I mentioned this to Sarah. Since she's her own boss, she decided she's going to sneak out so we can ride together. In fact, she's started an email list of everyone we know and is coordinating tri-weekly daytime ride schedules.

Here's the problem (it's multi-faceted): Sarah is very competitive. She wants to be fast. And she's very sensitive (HATES, LOATHES BEING DROPPED). But she's not as fast as I am, nor does she have the endurance or the drive. So when we're riding, we're taking lots of breaks. And, because she's coordinated these rides with a group of people, it takes so much more time out of my work day than I originally planned. For example, last Friday we drove over an hour each way to ride 7 miles of single-track (when I could have driven 15 minutes to ride 15 miles of single track in less time).

I do like riding with Sarah. She is a good friend. But I have very limited time to train. I have to make every (or at least most of them) workout count. I don't want to ride for 1.5 miles of trail then take a 5 minute break before doing the next 1.5 miles. I want to go as hard as I can and not worry about someone's feelings being hurt.

What a cunundrum. I didn't want to keep my riding a secret. But I didn't expect her to "take it over." And if I do a ride on my own, her feelings will be hurt that I didn't invite her. I've seen this happen before with her. She has a vendetta against 2 other friends of mine because they dropped her on a group ride. She doesn't like riding with them because she gets dropped, but then she's also mad if they don't invite her. ???

Riding is a sport to me, a game. Getting dropped is part of the deal. It's what pushes me to work harder, push myself to the limits. Sarah doesn't have that same personality . . . I think it's more social for her? I don't understand exactly where she's coming from being that she wants to race and be fast. How can you get faster if you don't push yourself?

A rock and a hard place.