Dear Cat

[kajero]

Dear Cat,

Winter must be upon us. It's the only thing that explains all the trouble you are causing me lately. It must be getting boring to look out the windows and the sun doesn't shine on your cat tree this time of year.

I am desperately trying to construct and sew a very well fitting pair of pants. I put the pattern pieces on the floor as I took them off so I could use the craft table to lay the material to make sure I pinned the fabric pieces together correctly for sewing. I have already nearly destroyed the pattern with all the alterations I have made. I know I should have traced the pattern first, I kind of did, but it wasn't as accurate as I wanted it to be. So the tissue is on the floor and you have to get it into it and play in it and make an even worse mess of it. I will probably have to salvage it because I need that pattern for a class I am taking. I am hunting all over the Internet to buy it again. I think I may have found it, but it is going to cost you $14 in cat treats.


PS: Dear Cat. I have added little pictures to this story in case you look read it. I want you to understand the problem as well as possible.

[skhill]

Dear Cats,

Tonight is the time change, when the clocks are set back an hour. So I'm warning you now that your tummies will be telling you it's time for breakfast an hour before I have any intention of serving it. If the first digit on the clock is a 3 when you guys start asking I get up, I will not be happy at all.

I promise you'll have a late night snack just before I go to bed, and I'll make sure the dry food bowl is full. Just let me sleep, OK?

Love, the can opener

PS Do you have a reset switch hidden away somewhere under all that fur?

[lph]

Dear Lyra,

thank you for helping us decorate the house for Halloween, your favourite holiday I imagine. It was a lovely fat rat.

Usually, though, we put the decorations out where people can see them, instead of hiding them under the couch. On the other hand, since DS was having all his classmates over for a party and most of them are teenage girls from nice homes, your way was just fine.

[skhill]

Dear Cats,

That was definitely a 3 on the clock when you started reminding me that breakfast time was approaching-- 3:18, to be exact. Well, at least I wasn't late to my 7:30 choir call at church. And you let me sleep until nearly 5 today, so we're cool.

Yes, the new piece of cat furniture is second-hand and smells like other cats. Please don't spray it to claim it as your own. Just use your claws.

Thanks

[SheFly]

Dear Cat,

Did you really have to jump in my lap to puke this morning?

SheFly

[pll]

My apologies if this has been posted here already, but I was laughing about this video, "sad cat diary":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKffm2uI4dk

[snapdragen]

pll, that is wonderful!! I needed the laugh.

[Thorn]

pll...that was wonderful....my sides hurt and I have tears running down my face. I really need that. Thanks

[Catrin]

That was delightful, thanks for posting it! SO glad I didn't see this a couple of days ago, the laughter would have hurt far too much

"This is the 900th day that my face has been accidentally wetted"... poor kitteh!

[marni]

and tux the maine coon who constantly leaves dripping faucets behind, he of the eternally wet head,doesn't see what the problem is with a wet nose.

we have had to move the self filling water bowl to the bathtub in order to prevent waking up or coming home to a fully flooded kitchen. Miss Ikew the other cat is irritated that her favorite spa day play pen (the bathtub) is now occupied by the water monster., Life is not easy around here for the cats.

[nuliajuk]

and tux the maine coon who constantly leaves dripping faucets behind, he of the eternally wet head,doesn't see what the problem is with a wet nose.

we have had to move the self filling water bowl to the bathtub in order to prevent waking up or coming home to a fully flooded kitchen. Miss Ikew the other cat is irritated that her favorite spa day play pen (the bathtub) is now occupied by the water monster., Life is not easy around here for the cats.

Years ago I had a cat that would wait patiently under the bathtub tap for me to turn it on just a trickle so she could drink. One day I didn't get there fast enough for her liking, so she clawed at the tap, peered up into the spout to see if anything was coming out yet, then clawed at the tap some more. Good thing I didn't have those lever faucets, she'd have opened them on her own while I was away, I'm sure - and of course not turned them off again.
Yeah, she was smart, so smart it was almost scary.

[Becky]

Dear Cat-

I'm so very very sorry that I broke your foot. I'm even more sorry that the splint is cumbersome and the e-collar terrifies you. Pleasepleaseplease....be a good patient, eat and drink normally, and leave your splint alone so that maybe I can take that collar off. You tell me if you want the pain meds, cuz right now that just seems like more mental anguish on top of what you've already gone through.

Love,
Your mom, who feels like the world's worst human being right now.

[skhill]

Dear cats,

So I didn't lose my warmest mittens after all-- you just hid them under a chair. But you know, warm mittens help the dog get nice, long walks, which means more dog-free time for you!

[Xrayted]

pll, there is a dog version too...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw1C5T-fH2Y

[snapdragen]

"This is all too much, I must pee on the bed"