Dear 10-point buck who walked through my backyard this week,

It's already bow season, and people are gearing up for gun season. You and I both know that if people are interested in population management or feeding their families, they'll shoot your sisters and your girlfriends. But I don't know whether you realize that you look exactly like a trophy to a lot of people. Shooting you would be like stealing a Picasso from a museum so that no one else can enjoy it ... and people do that, too. Take a look at the survey flags, and stay on this side of them, okay?