Dear Princess,

I think punching me and nearly taking my left eye out (and now I have nice puncture wound and a shiner, to boot) is not how you make new friends.

I know you had a tough life being abandoned and now you've found a cozy home in the warehouse, but remember the nice lap you were on the other day, drooling away from all the attention?

I don't hate you, but next time, please don't try to take my eye out!

love,
visitor