It's true, change is hard for many, many people. I see it in my internship clients who come for therapy. I've seen a lot of change in my life and I am not sure how well I deal with it. I tend to "plow through" stuff, determined to deal with whatever comes my way, but in the end, I often end up with stress related physical complaints because of this. I don't like to spend time worrying about my choices!
But, I don't necessarily see it as control or fear of abandonment when someone wants to be with his/her SO and not be sitting alone at home waiting for him or her to return. I know some would suggest that the person sitting at home develop their own interests, but if this is not what you signed up for, yes, the rules have changed. This is why some people get divorced...
I guess i am lucky my DH feels the same way as me. Most of our closest friends are like us...