Dear So and So

[alexis_the_tiny]

Dear _____,

If you wanted to have dinner with your teamates, SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE. Don't agree to have dinner with me, then go all Hmmm and huuuh and then tell me you'd like a post race nap and can we please cancel dinner. And then I DON'T DARE CALL YOU BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DISTURB YOUR POST RACE NAP AND LOOK LIKE AN ******* and it turns out, you FINALLY call me and YOU'RE HAVING DINNER WITH YOUR TEAMATES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M DOING THIS ANY MORE BECAUSE THIS ISN'T EVEN THE FIRST TIME.

Me.

(Excuse the caps.)

Also:

Dear best friend,

I wish you were home. I miss talking to you on the phone and being able to just go out with you. BBM, twitter and skype doesn't make being on a completely different continent from you any less hard.

[Owlie]

Dear BF--
You have no idea how much I was looking forward to seeing you next weekend...okay, I think you do. I'm sorry it can't happen and neither of us can do anything about it. (Does your boss just hate the idea of your wanting to take time off? This happened last time too.) Just survive the next month and a bit. You'll be back here before you know it.
Love,
Me.

Dear impatient driver--
Okay, so a bunch of kids tried to make an ill-advised and ill-timed street crossing. No, I was not about to start trying to move. Honking at me and the kids and then trying to cut me off on the other side of the intersection is not the correct response to the situation. You may have gotten your precious hot dogs ten seconds sooner, but you're still an a**.

Dear certain manufacturer of cycling shoes--
Apparently I'm some kind of freak. (Okay, we knew that, but not for this reason.) I actually want to put SPD pedals on a road bike? Shame on me! Maybe I want some quality, breathable road shoes one day. I don't think this should require me to buy new pedals. Telling me to go buy mountain shoes is not useful. Is it too difficult to make adaptors for your newer soles? I'm not going hiking around in the wilderness here. I don't need the testosterone-driven chunkiness of your MTB shoes that has managed to translate to its women's equivalent. The only ones that look as sleek as your road shoes are (surprise!) only available in men's. Know what? Screw you. I'm going to take my freak-heretic self and my cash and go buy myself some Keens. You clearly don't want the likes of me tarnishing the reputation of your shoes of Teh Awesome, so I clearly don't need to justify the existence of your line of MTB shoes.
--Someone who would have gladly bought your ridiculously expensive shoes had they worked with her pedals.

[MomOnBike]

Dear Body,

Please reconsider your new policy of an Annual Major Health Event. Three years in a row is quite enough.

Thank you

Me

[snapdragen]

Dear Body,

Please reconsider your new policy of an Annual Major Health Event. Three years in a row is quite enough.

Thank you

Me

I would like to second this motion -- I was joking about the surgery once a year hobby.

[bmccasland]

Listen people in Seattle, are your brains damp? That storm in the Gulf, it's become a Cat 2 hurricane, and come on shore. Am I to assume that I wasn't selected? Would you please just make the notification! Do I suck it up, accept that I'm stuck here with poor leadership, and get ready for hurricane season. Or do I get my house ready to sell? I'm scheduled for vacation starting tomorrow and all of next week - what I do kind of depends on the answer...

You notified me that the job was open. Can you get your personnel office to make the notifications? Life in limbo is not exactly a fun place to be.

[Zen]

Life in limbo is not exactly a fun place to be.

Come on over if you need to borrow a cup of sugar

[tulip]

Life in limbo is not exactly a fun place to be.

grrrr....I agree completely!

Dear Secretary Donovan,
Announce your funding decisions already! We're supposed to be on the same team--providing housing for disabled and elderly poor people. But you apparently are getting out of the housing business. Strange, give that's your reason for being. Your arrogance and vapidness are really appalling. I had such high hopes when you were appointed, but you're a real piece of work.

Yours truly,
me

[bmccasland]

Dear Esteemed People in Washington,
While we're talking about life in limbo....
Would you please renew the Federal Flood Insurance Program? My policy is up for renewal next month. It is hurricane season, and I live in an area that is a flood hazard. I pay for flood insurance, if you'd just send the bill! I do not want to be without flood insurance because you're playing politics.