Dear So and So

[TriMom217]

Dear upstairs neighbors--
TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN. I should not be able to pick out the lyrics.

and while we're at it....

next door neighbor, did you know that when you leave your dog barks NONSTOP until you return? Of course I can't complain to the landlord, your father, because since my daughter needed to move in I have 2 dogs when the lease only says I can have one. My daughter's dog barks EVERY time you slam the door, which you do EVERY time you close it. He also barks every time you sound like you're crashing down the stairs, which I'm sure is every time you go either up or down the stairs.

So while I'm in no position to complain, I sure wish I had a more considerate neighbor. I'm pretty sure it's my rent check that pays the mortgage on this place which was empty for quite a while before we moved in.

I won't even start on how early you feel the need to mow every Saturday morning......

[ccnyc]

Dear V.Q.G.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful consideration of the situation. I know you need to do what's best for your bottom line, but your decision will either save or kill 14 years of hard work so I ask that you take that into consideration when making your decision. I know you'll do what you think is right, so thank you in advance for making a decision that will benefit everyone.

[Eden]

Dear guy in the pick up truck yakking on the cell phone. I really did not need to see you kill that poor little dog. If you had been %^&*# paying attention to driving you would not have hit him. I was behind you and had plenty of time to see what was happening. What if next time its a little kid that runs out into the street instead of a little dog. Hang up and pay attention or get out from behind the wheel.

[BikeDutchess]

Dear famous surgeon,

We traveled 7 hours each way for this 3-month post-surgical check-up, and incurred hotel expenses as well. We were on time for our 10:30 appointment. Making us wait two-and-a-half hours in the waiting room, another 45 min in the exam room, and then breezing in for a 2 minute "fly-by" visit without even an apology for the long wait is very annoying. I know you're considered one of the "gods" who invented this procedure, and that you probably got stuck in the OR, and we are truly grateful for the good outcome of our child's surgery, but some acknowledgement of the value of our time would have been appreciated. We probably could have phoned this one in and saved ourselves a lot of time and money.

[Biciclista]

Dear famous surgeon,

We traveled 7 hours each way for this 3-month post-surgical check-up, and incurred hotel expenses as well. We were on time for our 10:30 appointment. Making us wait two-and-a-half hours in the waiting room, another 45 min in the exam room, and then breezing in for a 2 minute "fly-by" visit without even an apology for the long wait is very annoying. I know you're considered one of the "gods" who invented this procedure, and that you probably got stuck in the OR, and we are truly grateful for the good outcome of our child's surgery, but some acknowledgement of the value of our time would have been appreciated. We probably could have phoned this one in and saved ourselves a lot of time and money.

holy cow. I hope you complained somewhere else.

[lph]

Oh Eden

[lph]

I was clearing out some files at work (yes, I did have better things to do, but we were alle ordered to) and came across the following little gem I wrote back in 2001. I'm tooting my own horn here, but I found it pretty darn funny

It's in reply to a snotty note from the publishers of a computer magazine ("CM"):

"Re: unpaid CM subscription

In a letter dated Feb. 26th, you refer to our "delinquent account", as you call it, as we haven't paid for our subscription yet. You also write: "When you ordered CM, we accepted your word that you would pay your bill." I might point out that when we ordered CM, we accepted your word that you would actually deliver the magazine. So far we have not received a single regular issue, and your threat of not sending any more issues is hardly alarming.

What we have received is the trial issue we ordered last November. After two follow-up emails. In January. I presume that the point of a trial issue is to let readers decide whether or not they want a continued subscription. Sending no less than two requests for payment before the trial issue has even arrived is a bit excessive. Your claiming that you have sent four unanswered requests for payment when we in fact have emailed you twice, is downright annoying.

In spite of all this, we do actually want a subscription for CM. As we wrote to you in December, we will pay the bill in full as soon as we receive our first regular, somewhat current issue."