Should Men be allowed in a Women's Forum?

[Pax]

so why exactly do you gals hang out there if it's such a terrible place? If you don't like a board, leave. If you hang around and continue to post.. you've got no right to complain as boards are privately owned and you are choosing to be there - i.e, no one is forcing you to participate.

"Right to complain", beings how it's still a free country (and the board is located here) I figure we gals can complain til the cows come home if we want to AND still choose to participate on that board.

Sometimes folks just need to vent, that doesn't mean the board is completely without merit.

[Irulan]

I don't agree with that. I've posted on some boards that left me regularly with an icky feeling for one reason or another. It dawned on me one day that I didn't have to do that do myself - why put myself in a place that doesn't make me feel good or ok, or that just p*sses me off all the time? To me, the logical choice is to not go there, keep a little serenity in my life.

[matagi]

Now that we've slightly drifted onto the topic of other forums, I should add my 2c worth about Bikeforums. The thing I've noticed is that the smutty co-ed behaviour tends to be confined to a couple of the subforums, no doubt reflecting the average age of the posters.

If you look at the subforums where more "mature" individuals hang out, like the touring, long-distance cycling and over-50 subforums, then you get a completely different feel for the place.

TE works well on a couple of levels .... the feeling here tends to be inclusive rather than exclusive and any inappropriate posters are dealt with promptly. As far as I am concerned if someone has thoughtful and relevant information to post then I welcome them regardless of their gender.

[wannaduacentury]

TE is the only other cycling forum I go to daily. I come here for info, hang out, and cyber fun w/ this great group of ladies(and gent) and I'm community leader of Cycling & Triathlons over at ivillage.com. Since I head up that board, I keep it clean and fun like I receive here. So anyone is welcome to visit. Ivillage has strict rules too and I like them, they help keep spammers and inapproprite conversations off the boards. Jennifer

Here's the link
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-fbextreme

[East Hill]

Queen and matagi are both correct!

Queen, because this is a free country, and we get to vent.

Matagi, because the behaviour is generally confined to certain fora. I must confess that I am disappointed when I see a posting which degrades women by someone that I would have thought would know better, but I suppose we all have our lapses.

It's funny, because this evening at work, I spotted a brand new poster at BF. I clicked over to say hello, and this brand new member had already included an avatar of female anatomy, sitting on a motorcycle seat, and wearing a thong. I think that we just were talking about this!

Irulan--we understand the point. However, BF is supposed to be a family friendly website. We refuse to keep getting driven away from what is supposed to be a family friendly site just because a few people can't control themselves.

What are we supposed to do? That withdrawing from confronting bad behaviour is what causes sexual harrasment to continue. I'm not going to allow it to continue if I have my say so, and I believe that most of the women here would agree. I've seen my fill of women being harassed simply because no one would put their foot down and say 'stop'.

East Hill

[caligurl]

It's funny, because this evening at work, I spotted a brand new poster at BF. I clicked over to say hello, and this brand new member had already included an avatar of female anatomy, sitting on a motorcycle seat, and wearing a thong. I think that we just were talking about this!

ughhhhhhhhh.... that just shows me she's looking for attention.... (i have the same avatar there as i do here! cute and GURLIE!)

Irulan--we understand the point. However, BF is supposed to be a family friendly website. We refuse to keep getting driven away from what is supposed to be a family friendly site just because a few people can't control themselves.

absolutely! there's at least one mod who's willing to try to keep it family friendly... but he's only one person.... i wish they would ALL enforce the forum rules.... but alas..... they don't... buy yes... why should we be driven away because a few don't understand FAMILY FRIENDLY? it's NOT an adult forum! anyone 13 and older is welcome.... (and it's not just the kids that posting junk!)

but like i said in my previous post... i've cut back my posting a LOT due to a lot of the subject matter and innuendo that goes on... i'm a married woman and i don't wish to play sex games online with men (or women!) even moreso at a CYCLING forum!

[East Hill]

ughhhhhhhhh.... that just shows me she's looking for attention....

Actually, I think it was a man who wandered in and thought it was a motorcycle forum!

why should we be driven away because a few don't understand FAMILY FRIENDLY? it's NOT an adult forum! anyone 13 and older is welcome.... (and it's not just the kids that posting junk!)

If you want to have a site which features naked women and bikes, be my guest. But it better be a 'member only' website! If it's open to the general public to wander through, I don't need to see women in provocative poses.

but like i said in my previous post... i've cut back my posting a LOT due to a lot of the subject matter and innuendo that goes on...

Exactly. There are a few people, both women and men over there who think that it's a flirting arena, and then get annoyed when the men go too far. I'm willing to be friendly, but I love Mr. East Hill, and I let people know that, so that they don't get the wrong idea. I had noticed that I wasn't seeing much of you over there, even in the SoCal forum.

i'm a married woman and i don't wish to play sex games online with men (or women!) even moreso at a CYCLING forum!

I'm there for the cycling. I'm there to learn things about bicycles. But I'm not there to have to put up with nonsense from anybody.

East Hill

[bcipam]

Now that we've slightly drifted onto the topic of other forums, I should add my 2c worth about Bikeforums. The thing I've noticed is that the smutty co-ed behaviour tends to be confined to a couple of the subforums, no doubt reflecting the average age of the posters.

If you look at the subforums where more "mature" individuals hang out, like the touring, long-distance cycling and over-50 subforums, then you get a completely different feel for the place.

TE works well on a couple of levels .... the feeling here tends to be inclusive rather than exclusive and any inappropriate posters are dealt with promptly. As far as I am concerned if someone has thoughtful and relevant information to post then I welcome them regardless of their gender.

Matagi - I think that's the key - at Bike Forum and even here, there are threads that I might find well not interesting for me so I tend to stay out of them. At BF - there are lots of cliquey forums but thankfully there are also alot of informative forums like the over 50, MTB, road cycling etc. I have found different people find different things offensive and I guess we need to respect that. Even in the cliquey forums - I can stay out of the "chatty" threads and review, answer or post only what I find informative.

I guess where I am going with this is that there is something for everyone, especially here. TE folks tend to moderate themselves and when something gets out of hand it's ended quickly. I see no reason to change anything right now. I suspect alot of men have read, reviewed and posted here and we never knew. That's the way it should be.

One interesting note - I post on another forum that is very large, even larger than BF. It has many different topics and there is a forum for women only and even a sub-forum for women's personal issues. Neither is locked out so I suspect men go in and read those forums regularly. My thoughts, never post something on the internet that you want to be a secret. Again the whole glass house thing.

[caligurl]

"Right to complain", beings how it's still a free country (and the board is located here) I figure we gals can complain til the cows come home if we want to AND still choose to participate on that board.

Sometimes folks just need to vent, that doesn't mean the board is completely without merit.

as they would say there: +1

however i have cut back my posting there considerably!