Should Men be allowed in a Women's Forum?

[siume99]

Interesting turn of events just happened. I just bought a dual bottle holder for the seat of my tri bike. My predicament was that I also wanted a seat bag for spare tube, tools, cell phone, etc. Today, I Googled “triathlon seat bag.” Low and behold I found a link to your forums.

I apologize that I don’t remember who said this, but someone said they wouldn’t kick George Hincapie out for asking questions about a hypothetical women’s clothing line. A salesperson should understand how the product will help a customer. Also, they should understand the short comings and how to overcome them. Your “tips-n-tricks” section caught my eye. If I sold bikes and accessories, I’d probably want to do my research on your website to “satisfy each and every customer.” (No sexual intention, it was the Sears motto.) My LBSs don’t have many female associates (if any). I might be wrong, but I’m guessing some women feel intimidated walking into situations like this. If there are men and women looking for tools to better serve their customers, then why not allow it?

I currently work as an engineer. I’ve found that diversity (age, sex, race, job duties, backgrounds…etc) create a stronger design. Having these different points of view help uncover the best answer. I mention this, because I assume you sometimes post questions on various topics that somehow relate to the men in your life; fathers, sons, boyfriends, husbands, training partners, coworkers, that idiot driver that says “nice @$$.” Not everyone has the confidence or opportunity to flat out ask sensitive/personal questions in person. That is one advantage of the WWW. Anonymity. If it makes you uncomfortable for a stranger to read what you wrote, don’t write it. Even with your sign in name you have anonymity. As Thumper’s mother told him, “if you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothing at all.” I think it’s foolish to not get all the information you can on a subject. No one says you have to agree with what you find. You are an individual who is free to make his/her own decisions.

Yeah, well if you haven’t already figured it out, I’m a guy. I do have a mom, girlfriend, female training partners, and coworkers that I care about and sometimes have questions pertaining them. I’m confident enough in myself to say that my tri bike has a “female intended saddle” from Serfas. It works for my pelvis structure. I also have long legs and a short torso. Sound familiar? There is no such thing as a “typical guy/gal.” “Averaging” is the summing of all the values and dividing by the sample number. It’s a way of simplifying the situation. It sometimes hides the good/bad outliers. Don’t let the actions of a few, dictate what happens to all. Have special “cures” for those situations. Everyone is physically and psychologically unique. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. It wasn’t intentional.

I feel that the quality of your website would go down if you “outlawed” men. I only say this because you would loose additional view points. I understand you have the option, not necessarily the right, to ban men. This is the WWW you know. How would “real” women get into the forum to search for input? If it’s by invite, not everyone knows “somebody.” Again, you still have your anonymity.

That’s my 2 cent donation….

Oh BTW, any suggestions for a seat bag if I have a Minoura twin bottle cage under my saddle?

[margo49]

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I feel that the quality of your website would go down if you “outlawed” men. I only say this because you would loose additional view points.
?

Do you mean to imply that you have raised the quality of TE??

To anyone else worried about losing additional viewpoints:
I am prepared to give more than one point of view on any subject you name. Or at least post several times on the same topic - each time raising a different *aspect* . (So it would be several one-paragraph posts instead of a longer one with paragraph indentations)

[siume99]

Do you mean to imply that you have raised the quality of TE??

To anyone else worried about losing additional viewpoints:
I am prepared to give more than one point of view on any subject you name. Or at least post several times on the same topic - each time raising a different *aspect* . (So it would be several one-paragraph posts instead of a longer one with paragraph indentations)

I wasn’t implying that I/men raise the quality of TE. I think help sustain would be a better implication. From the basic standpoint, men currently are allowed to post.

When asking a question, why would someone ask if they already knew the answer? Is it for confirmation or was it because they brainstormed before and didn’t come up with the answer that seemed to work? No one is correct all of the time. Sometimes one (or multiple) person(s) has the answer in the group. Other times it’s just a seedling that the answer grows out of.

A “forum” is successful because it’s a community of people. If I knew, without a doubt, that a particular person had the answer to my problem, why would I voice my question to everyone else? Why not personally email or call that one individual? When you limit your audience, you limit the number of opportunities.

If someone posts a question and doesn’t find a response that works for their situation, then the forum failed them. If the original poster was looking for congratulations on an accomplishment and didn’t get any, the forum failed them. If the original poster was looking for an understanding shoulder and none offered, the forum failed. But, if one person offered the celebration or shoulder, then that one person met the expectations of the original poster. The forum was successful.

I found TE because of my triathlon seat bag w/ water bottle ordeal. Obviously, my LBSs haven’t offered suggestions that fit the bill. On this one particular issue, they have failed. When I do find what works for me, I’ll stop by and share my experience. I want to maximize the chances of finding a solution, and help others at the same time.

Thanks for the welcomes Mimitabby and Salsabike.

[Pedal Wench]

Other times it’s just a seedling that the answer grows out of.

A “forum” is successful because it’s a community of people. If I knew, without a doubt, that a particular person had the answer to my problem, why would I voice my question to everyone else? Why not personally email or call that one individual? When you limit your audience, you limit the number of opportunities.

If someone posts a question and doesn’t find a response that works for their situation, then the forum failed them. If the original poster was looking for congratulations on an accomplishment and didn’t get any, the forum failed them. If the original poster was looking for an understanding shoulder and none offered, the forum failed. But, if one person offered the celebration or shoulder, then that one person met the expectations of the original poster. The forum was successful.

Absolutely brilliant. People with minds like this, and who say it so eloquently should be allowed on whatever forum they like!

Please stay. I personally welcome your input.

[mimitabby]

I

Yeah, well if you haven’t already figured it out, I’m a guy. I do have a mom, girlfriend, female training partners, and coworkers that I care about and sometimes have questions pertaining them. I’m confident enough in myself to say that my tri bike has a “female intended saddle” from Serfas. It works for my pelvis structure. I also have long legs and a short torso. Sound familiar? There is no such thing as a “typical guy/gal.” “Averaging” is the summing of all the values and dividing by the sample number. It’s a way of simplifying the situation. It sometimes hides the good/bad outliers. Don’t let the actions of a few, dictate what happens to all. Have special “cures” for those situations. Everyone is physically and psychologically unique. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. It wasn’t intentional.

I feel that the quality of your website would go down if you “outlawed” men. I only say this because you would loose additional view points. I understand you have the option, not necessarily the right, to ban men. This is the WWW you know. How would “real” women get into the forum to search for input? If it’s by invite, not everyone knows “somebody.” Again, you still have your anonymity.

That’s my 2 cent donation….

Oh BTW, any suggestions for a seat bag if I have a Minoura twin bottle cage under my saddle?

Dear Siume
Welcome to TE. I am glad you are inobtrusively reading and enjoying TE.
You have brought up some very valid points, nothing is private on this forum
and people need to be reminded of that fact every now and then.
m

[salsabike]

Siume and Roadfix, you are welcome as far as I'm concerned.

[Bluetree]

Siume and Roadfix, you are welcome as far as I'm concerned.

Roadfix and Siume, I welcome you as well. Although... if you plan on planning on more than a drive-by visit, please go to the "Getting to Know You" thread and post yer stats... we are a nosey (if overprotective) bunch!

[jeannierides]

Roadfix and Siume, I welcome you as well. Although... if you plan on planning on more than a drive-by visit, please go to the "Getting to Know You" thread and post yer stats... we are a nosey (if overprotective) bunch!

Yeah... what she said...

My SO did the same thing... He *Googled* Gunnar, and got the thread discussing the possibility of my new bike - which has btw been ordered!!

[CycleChic06]

How would “real” women get into the forum to search for input? If it’s by invite, not everyone knows “somebody.”

This is true. I still haven't figured out how to get in the women's forum on the bike forums website. It's hidden and apparently you have to email someone but I don't know who. This forum is much easier to get on to.

[Irulan]

Perhaps the owner of the other site doesn't care about alienating 25% or more of his membership.

so why exactly do you gals hang out there if it's such a terrible place? If you don't like a board, leave. If you hang around and continue to post.. you've got no right to complain as boards are privately owned and you are choosing to be there - i.e, no one is forcing you to participate.

[Pax]

so why exactly do you gals hang out there if it's such a terrible place? If you don't like a board, leave. If you hang around and continue to post.. you've got no right to complain as boards are privately owned and you are choosing to be there - i.e, no one is forcing you to participate.

"Right to complain", beings how it's still a free country (and the board is located here) I figure we gals can complain til the cows come home if we want to AND still choose to participate on that board.

Sometimes folks just need to vent, that doesn't mean the board is completely without merit.

[Irulan]

I don't agree with that. I've posted on some boards that left me regularly with an icky feeling for one reason or another. It dawned on me one day that I didn't have to do that do myself - why put myself in a place that doesn't make me feel good or ok, or that just p*sses me off all the time? To me, the logical choice is to not go there, keep a little serenity in my life.

[matagi]

Now that we've slightly drifted onto the topic of other forums, I should add my 2c worth about Bikeforums. The thing I've noticed is that the smutty co-ed behaviour tends to be confined to a couple of the subforums, no doubt reflecting the average age of the posters.

If you look at the subforums where more "mature" individuals hang out, like the touring, long-distance cycling and over-50 subforums, then you get a completely different feel for the place.

TE works well on a couple of levels .... the feeling here tends to be inclusive rather than exclusive and any inappropriate posters are dealt with promptly. As far as I am concerned if someone has thoughtful and relevant information to post then I welcome them regardless of their gender.

[wannaduacentury]

TE is the only other cycling forum I go to daily. I come here for info, hang out, and cyber fun w/ this great group of ladies(and gent) and I'm community leader of Cycling & Triathlons over at ivillage.com. Since I head up that board, I keep it clean and fun like I receive here. So anyone is welcome to visit. Ivillage has strict rules too and I like them, they help keep spammers and inapproprite conversations off the boards. Jennifer

Here's the link
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-fbextreme

[bcipam]

Now that we've slightly drifted onto the topic of other forums, I should add my 2c worth about Bikeforums. The thing I've noticed is that the smutty co-ed behaviour tends to be confined to a couple of the subforums, no doubt reflecting the average age of the posters.

If you look at the subforums where more "mature" individuals hang out, like the touring, long-distance cycling and over-50 subforums, then you get a completely different feel for the place.

TE works well on a couple of levels .... the feeling here tends to be inclusive rather than exclusive and any inappropriate posters are dealt with promptly. As far as I am concerned if someone has thoughtful and relevant information to post then I welcome them regardless of their gender.

Matagi - I think that's the key - at Bike Forum and even here, there are threads that I might find well not interesting for me so I tend to stay out of them. At BF - there are lots of cliquey forums but thankfully there are also alot of informative forums like the over 50, MTB, road cycling etc. I have found different people find different things offensive and I guess we need to respect that. Even in the cliquey forums - I can stay out of the "chatty" threads and review, answer or post only what I find informative.

I guess where I am going with this is that there is something for everyone, especially here. TE folks tend to moderate themselves and when something gets out of hand it's ended quickly. I see no reason to change anything right now. I suspect alot of men have read, reviewed and posted here and we never knew. That's the way it should be.

One interesting note - I post on another forum that is very large, even larger than BF. It has many different topics and there is a forum for women only and even a sub-forum for women's personal issues. Neither is locked out so I suspect men go in and read those forums regularly. My thoughts, never post something on the internet that you want to be a secret. Again the whole glass house thing.