Cycling goals ruining friendship

[staceysue]

Where to start?

. . . . . .started an email list of everyone we know and is coordinating tri-weekly daytime ride schedules. . . Sarah is very competitive. . . . .HATES, LOATHES BEING DROPPED). . . drove over an hour each way to ride 7 miles of single-track . . . . 1.5 miles of trail then take a 5 minute break before doing the next 1.5 miles. I want to go as hard as I can and not worry about someone's feelings being hurt. . . . she has a vendetta against 2 other friends of mine because they dropped her on a group ride. She doesn't like riding with them because she gets dropped, but then she's also mad if they don't invite her. . . . .

I did my first metric centennial last year (road biking) and I was averaging around maybe 14 mph (not on the centennial, just on regular rides) and I still haven't got up the courage to join the local group rides yet because I don't want to hold anybody back and I'm worried that they might be concerned about hurting my feelings and refuse to drop me. The last thing I would EVER want to do would be to hold anybody else back.

She's being self-centered and immature - and maybe a little manipulative. She sounds kind of high-maintenance.

On the other hand! It's always great to have group support in new endeavors and I, myself, would not want to mountain bike alone as a beginner. She went through a lot of trouble to get a group together to ride. If the others haven't surpassed her, maybe they will be willing to continue frequent group rides together and if they keep it up, she might be able to keep up with you at some point. In the mean time maybe you could go on rides with her occasionally to give her some support when the other riders can't go, but let her know that you've taken it to the next level yourself and that you're truly enjoying riding alone. If she's a good friend, she should be happy for you. You obviously care a lot for her and she should care for you as much.