Study: Women make more family, finance decisions than men

[Mr. Bloom]

That's the headline on Yahoo! this morning (I can't link it because it's a video).

In your family, is this true?

(votes are anonymousbut feel free to post whatever you want)

[SouthernBelle]

Well, I do make more decisions than my cat.

[indysteel]

Well, I do make more decisions than my cat.

LOL. I'd agree with that statement, but sadly, my cats boss me around quite a bit!

Ideally, I'd like to me in a partnership/marriage where decisions were made jointly. My father has shielded my mom (and she has, for whatever reason, consented to this arrangement) from financial decisions. She's never really worked outside the home and really had very little understanding of many practical things.

I'm not my mother's daughter in that sense. I'm in a relationship with someone right now who is very responsible financially. If (and this is just an "if") we were to get married, I would anticipate that we'd make joint financial decisions. We're both cut from the same mold as "savers" versus "spenders."

[Trek420]

My father has shielded my mom (and she has, for whatever reason, consented to this arrangement) from financial decisions. She's never really worked outside the home and really had very little understanding of many practical things.

I think that's a generational thing. And hopefully this and future generations more women are more involved in day to day and planning financial issues on an individual, family and all levels.

In their 62 years of marriage my parents shared all financial decisions. While I think my Dad signed most of the checks, and he kept simply amazing track of their finances. Yet decisions ranging from daily purchases to long term investments were made jointly and often discussed around the dining room table.

For example, Dad saw no difference between inexpensive wine and the finer stuff. So they had a blind taste test one night. Dad's opinion was still that he like Trader Joe's house brand over Mom's chosen from the finest local Sonoma winery.

I've read somewhere that while none of us are assured even one more day of health as women tend to live longer than men a wise husband/partner "trains his partner for widowhood". And that my Dad did.

While I'm sure she misses him every hour of every day my 86 y.o. Mom lives independently and manages her finances well thanks not only to that she always had a talent for math and science, but thanks in no small part to the way they lived together.

In fact he taught us all a lot. In todays economy I often wonder WWJD?

And that's What Would Jack Do

For years he drove me to school we'd pick up Barrons on the way and I'd read him the stocks he'd tracked as he drove. Once when his Mom sold a stock he'd recommended and bought something on the advice of a so-called professional broker he didn't object. He did not nag her.

He just made a game/lesson for us kids from it.

We tracked the steady rise of the solid stock Dad had recommended for my Grandma, and the sudden drop of the "pro's" Hot Deal. He showed me why each stock was a good or bad buy, we calculated Grandma's potential loss and actual loss daily

I think eventually he got his "job" back

[Grog]

I happen to have a lot more financial and "money matters" (paying the bills, mortgages, retirement savings, bank accounts, taxes, etc.) than my husband, if only because I have lived away from my parents since I was 16 and have some interests in fiscal matters (go figure). However since we got married I make big efforts to get him involved and the few financial decisions we make we make together (with a financial advisor), such as the budget, our savings, etc. Thankfully we have no debt and sufficient revenue, so it's much easier and not tense.

I voted "shared" but in fact it's probably more 60% me since I do a lot of the day-to-day management still (keeping Quicken up do date and paying bills) but we'll transition to giving him that responsibility over the next year so that he can learn more about this.

Parents: don't shield your children from money matters, please. Help them learn, and learn with them!

[Aggie_Ama]

Trek- Your post brings up and excellent point and something I am trying to do with my husband. He would have no clue where to send bills if I were gone. He takes for granted he has a serious disease (but rarely fatal) and men in him family tend to not see 70 while women in mine live to be 85-90+. He just thinks he will no way outlive me and he definitely doesn't need to worry about it at 28.

My Pawpaw died 5 years ago very suddenly of a heart attack, yet he knew his heart was failing for 5 years. Still he sheltered my Nanny and took care of everything for them. She was a high level manager at her company yet didn't ever do a thing for their own finances. When we moved her to assisted living this summer and my Dad became her power of attorney he found she had buil a massive credit card debt but had a sizeable amount of money in her bank account. She had the cards on autopayment and had no clue how much money she had in the bank. Before the alzheimers started she probably couldn't have balanced a check book if she had to.

My mom's mother was perfectly capable of taking on her house and bills when she was widowed even more suddenly. She was used to it because my Pawpaw was an interstate trucker but he still took care of things for her. The woman is so smart it is scary and so strong I can only hope to be half the woman she is. At 90 years old she is still paying her insurance, taxes, phone bills all on her own. And she balances her checkbook too.

Some of it may be generational but these two women are night and day on strength. Both are smart but only one knows it.

[Mr. Bloom]

He showed me why each stock was a good or bad buy,

So, WWJD? What were his rules of stock picking?

[Trek420]

So, WWJD? What were his rules of stock picking?

I wish I knew. He stressed picking diverse stocks. We went over my 401k. I thought I'd picked a diverse group of money market funds when we read the details they were almost identical.

How's it a small cap fund when it has the same stocks as the large cap? So I changed selections to get more variety

He was a chicken farmer for a time Don't put all your eggs in one basket Where I work there's a company match in the 401k. So I requested NO company stock because the match is in their stock so I get dividends which generate more stock which ... even without asking for it I get quite a bit.

If our stock drops I'm less vulnerable.

Pick diverse funds, keep an eye on 'em.

He invested his values. Long before the advent of "socially responsible investing" and "green money market funds" he did not buy stock in companies that invested in South Africa (this was before the end of Apartheid), while he thought utilities were solid/steady he avoided those with nuclear plants.

He'd look to companies that treat employees well ... and their customers.

One thing he stressed was the Price/Earnings ratio. Are they actually earning? Making a product and a profit?

He read the annual reports and avoided or sold anything trending to be going into huge debt, that was a sign regardless of how much he liked the company to get out.

So he's look to all these things and more but always stocks with a dividend. Because stocks got up and down but the dividends are steady reliable income.

As my parents grew older their investments became more conservative as in more bonds.

There were a couple times that he walked away from opportunity for tremendous wealth. Once was when he was asked by a friend to invest in an invention called the Shopsmith. But they wanted to be farmers after the war and invested savings in the farm we kids grew up on.

As farmers we were poor, very poor, but rich in a lot ways as a family. For one thing we kids (and that includes Duck on Wheels on this board) knew what our parents did. It's not as if they just drove off and went somewhere.

My parents read ... a lot, they read the handwriting on the wall as corporations gobbled up small farms. They talked to other farmers including some of the folks I remember from this film:

www.jewishchickenranchers.com

to say it's time to sell or get out. Because of their education both had options other than farming. Mom finished her Masters degree, Dad worked for the county. They never stopped gardening. At 86 Mom still gardens and walks to the local farm market.

But they sold the farm when I was about 6. Many of their friends did not and lost all.

He was pleased to see the trend towards eating fresh, organic and local enables small farms, co-ops and groups of farms to succeed, eateries and markets featuring local and/or organic, products from soap to salsa made from real ingredients.

So WWJB as in What Would Jack Buy? Is there Ben and Jerries stock? Who makes organic Vermont Cheddar? Is there Biodiesel stock? Which companies are making solar energy panels? I think there's Cannondale stock Maybe he'd be using the same principal picking solid reliable companies and investing in the Green Economy, or sticking with bonds and telling me to do that.

So think diverse, invest for the long term, think dividends, invest your values, avoid debt ... it's a double century not a townline sprint.

[Trekhawk]

Well, I do make more decisions than my cat.

Snort

[Aggie_Ama]

I said yes only because I pay all the bills but loans and savings we discuss. So yeah, I know the car or mortgage got paid on time and I rounded it up to the nearest $10 because that is how I do but he knows what our financial picture is.

We share a bank account, I know married couples who don't (my brother was one when married) and they have no clue what is going on with the "spouse's money". My parents always shared until he was married I didn't know there was another way to do it!

[bmccasland]

I did when I was married. I kept him apprised, but he wasn't that interested. Thus unlike his previous marriages, utilities didn't get turn off. I couldn't understand how he'd "forget" to pay a bill.

And he was lost when I left.

Currently the furry beasts let me think I run the house. Although Bonnie Cat does remind me about various things, often.

[Crankin]

I don't do the actual bill paying, but I know exactly what is going on. It's all electronically done, which I don't like, but I don't like anything about technology...
We always discuss major decisions and make them together. I give my opinion much more now, though. I just took my money out of the teacher's retirement fund and opened a 401K myself. This was a huge step for me and I hated doing every minute of it. The reason I took it out instead of leaving it there for 10 more years was that in MA if you get state retirement, you don't get your SS benefits (you don't get SS taken out of your check) or your spouse's since the retirement is so high compared to other states. Since I worked for 14 years in another state and my husband's SS benefits would be about 3K a month, I decided I really would want and need that money in addition to other stuff we have. But, as I said, the whole process got on my nerves.
I don't know why I hate dealing with money, my mom always did the bills in my family. I just like having it...

[Pax]

I would have to say yes, women make more family, finance decisions than men in our household.

[Aggie_Ama]

I would have to say yes, women make more family, finance decisions than men in our household.

Hehe

[vinbek]

I have a little different situation. My husband and I were both the same age, 37,when we married. We both had good jobs/careers and owned our own homes. Initially, my husband paid the bills and I handled the invesments. I was an estate and financial planner. I rearranged my husbands investments and 401k options and taught him why, etc. Now, he handles all the bills and investments, but we discuss everything before making changes. I am very independent and totally an equal partner. WE respect and trust one another with everything. We are in the process of having our wills and trusts updated with an attorney and we agreed on how everything would be handled in the event of our untimely deaths. We are both 54 now and have a 10 year old son and 13 year old daughter. We are definitely outside the curve on the kid front. Most of our friends have grandchildren now!!!
Anything is possible!!!!