Question about condolences etiquette

[LBTC]

Hi, ladies

My co-worker's mom passed away last night, so he was not at work today. She had been in hospital for a month and had just gone home.

As the administrative assistant in the department it is up to me to send flowers, or what not.

I'm afraid I'm pretty shakey on the rules of etiquette.

I'd like to find out from him if they want flowers or prefer donation to a specific charity. I'll be asking him tomorrow....but if we go for flowers how do I handle it?

Do I send the flowers to my co-worker's home, or to his dad's home, where his mom passed away? Do we send a card with the flowers only, or do we give my co-worker a card when he returns to work, too?

Any of your thoughts on the best way to professionally handle this sensitive matter would be appreciated!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[whippetgirl]

If you decide to send flowers: You might want to ask if there will be a memorial service or funeral service and then send flowers (with card) to the place where the service will take place.

[SadieKate]

There might be an obit in the paper tomorrow with the name of a funeral home. The obit or the funeral home may be have information about flowers or donations.

[Deborajen]

Sending flowers either to the coworker's home or to the funeral home would be appropriate. Where I work, it's a small group (20 people) and we keep things fairly personal, so we've sent flowers or a plant and also a card (passed around the office and signed) to the coworker's home. If a funeral or memorial will be held out of town, though, it might be more appropriate to send the flowers and card to the funeral location (delivery arrangements are usually easier - you can arrange delivery in time for the service when someone is sure to be there).

Deb

[Mr. Bloom]

I agree that sending to the funeral is best. If you send something to the home, I encourage it to be a living plant, not cut flowers.

I would avoid anything presented in the work environment because he may still be a little shaky emotionally...and men don't like to cry at work - regardless of how justified it may be.

[Bikingmomof3]

If you end up sending flowers, send them to the funeral home.

[SouthernBelle]

Ditto on the funeral home. If the family has a preference for something different, it will be stated in the obit.