Thread Drift

[Crankin]

Good work, Shoooting Star. You might find that as you get back into riding, the sleep issue may diminish.
Ah, warm sunshine and clear, dry pavement.

[NbyNW]

SS, sorry to hear you are still experiencing issues from your injury. I know it can be frustrating when these things seem to take so long. But it's great that you are easing back into things. Hope you continue to improve.

My own update -- I will be back in Seattle at the end of the month. Tomorrow begins some back and forth, taking DS to stay with my parents for a couple of weeks while I come back here to sort through things and supervise packing and loading; then back to Seattle to get the house ready for DS (basically re-arrange some furniture) and take care of some administrative things, then will pick DS up from my parents first week of April. And start a new chapter.

Looking forward to seeing old friends, and maybe a ride. This last couple of months have been brutal on my health. My stomach shut down for the first month and it was hard to get enough calories to keep going. I subsisted on candied ginger, soup and smoothies. I lost a lot of weight. I had been trying to lose my last 15 pounds of baby weight, but that is all gone now and then some. I may have lost some muscle too, so I'm trying to be very conscious and deliberate about my nutrition so that I don't get in too big of a hole to get healthy again. It's really hard some days. But I am hoping for some Mick Jagger fries in my future ...

[salsabike]

SS, sorry to hear you are still experiencing issues from your injury. I know it can be frustrating when these things seem to take so long. But it's great that you are easing back into things. Hope you continue to improve.

My own update -- I will be back in Seattle at the end of the month. Tomorrow begins some back and forth, taking DS to stay with my parents for a couple of weeks while I come back here to sort through things and supervise packing and loading; then back to Seattle to get the house ready for DS (basically re-arrange some furniture) and take care of some administrative things, then will pick DS up from my parents first week of April. And start a new chapter.

Looking forward to seeing old friends, and maybe a ride. This last couple of months have been brutal on my health. My stomach shut down for the first month and it was hard to get enough calories to keep going. I subsisted on candied ginger, soup and smoothies. I lost a lot of weight. I had been trying to lose my last 15 pounds of baby weight, but that is all gone now and then some. I may have lost some muscle too, so I'm trying to be very conscious and deliberate about my nutrition so that I don't get in too big of a hole to get healthy again. It's really hard some days. But I am hoping for some Mick Jagger fries in my future ...

You are ON for those fries! We'll get MM_QFC, and see who else locally wants to join us. Maybe Mimi will be back by then, too. We will welcome you back.

And I know you don't need me to say this since you already know it, but purely from the friend/well-wishing perspective---please take as good care of yourself as you can. It sounds like things have been so very hard. I am really sorry about that. To paraphrase from the Compleat Sage Dan Savage...it'll get better.

[shootingstar]

This last couple of months have been brutal on my health. My stomach shut down for the first month and it was hard to get enough calories to keep going. I subsisted on candied ginger, soup and smoothies. I lost a lot of weight. I had been trying to lose my last 15 pounds of baby weight, but that is all gone now and then some. I may have lost some muscle too, so I'm trying to be very conscious and deliberate about my nutrition so that I don't get in too big of a hole to get healthy again. It's really hard some days. But I am hoping for some Mick Jagger fries in my future ...

Take good, gentle care, NbyNW. You need energy to deal with DS when he comes back from your parents. Jagger fries sounds decadent. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The loss of muscle is a weird thing...it maybe what I have "lost" some muscle weight counterbalanced by normal meals (which my partner has done 80% of the cooking because I was too dizzy during first 2 months of rehab.) and little activity except for 30 min. daily walks to remap my standing balance. I spent so much time in bed just resting and doing nothing for brain to heal. End result: very little weight gain but more slack muscle I guess. It's actually bewildering.

We take so much for granted the muscle effort to pump along for decent distance and going up even gentle hills. It all takes effort.
After yesterday's ride, I'm certain my (minor) exhaustion was related to ..brain stimulation all over again that I had not experienced since accident. Probably rediscovered, acute sense of moving scenery as one bikes along. Doctor has told me that for some head injured folks they get dizzy just from looking at print wallpaper.

[OakLeaf]

Hugs to you, NbyNW.

Shootingstar, I think people tend to overlook the amount of energy that visual attention takes. When I had my concussion I was young and dumb (and in my defense there wasn't near as much publicity about TBIs as there is now) - but believe it or not, I had a similar experience returning from a hand injury. My first few motorcycle rides after it healed, left me completely mentally exhausted. When you're on two wheels you have to be 100% on, and when you've been away from that for a while it can be very tiring even if your brain is only "out of shape." So with your injury, I think it's completely natural that you're so worn out by it. Take it slow and easy, keep being gentle with yourself as frustrating as it probably gets sometimes. Hugs your way too.

[Crankin]

Nby, I hope things go smoothly in your transition. It's good you have your parents as support. It sounds like that french fry reunion will be fun.
Shooting Star, I echo what Oakleaf said. When I slammed my car door into my head 2 years ago, I know I had a concussion, despite not going to the hospital. I was not OK for about 2 months. Your accident was much worse; be kind to yourself. Healing overall, takes a lot more energy than we think.

[ny biker]

I will be attending a cousin's wedding in a couple of weeks, several hundred miles from where I live. I was not invited to the shower, though my mother and sister (who don't live as far away from the bride) were invited.

We get along with this part of the family but we're not especially close. For the most part I think this is due to location. When I was growing up we often spent time with my aunt and uncle (grandparents to the bride) and their kids/my cousins (one of whom is the bride's father). The bride's grandmother has passed away, but I still see my uncle and other cousins (bride's grandfather and her aunts and uncles) at most holidays -- they all live closer to my parents.

So, last month, after the shower but before the wedding, I looked up the couple's registry online, purchased something from their list and had it sent to them as a wedding present. On the card I included a general message along the lines of "wishing you love and happiness." The other day I received a thank you card, saying they were sorry I wasn't at the shower but thank you so much for the generous shower gift.

But, um, that wasn't a shower gift, that was the wedding gift. I'm not sending another gift.

Not that I want to be stingy, but I really don't know this couple very well. And I'm just not rolling in disposable income right now, for a variety of reasons. And I have to pay for a hotel room and use a vacation day in order to attend this wedding. I mean, I'm happy to attend and I do wish them well, I just don't plan to buy any more gifts.

I just hope no one at the wedding mentions "my generous shower gift," because I really don't want to have to tell them that it was the wedding gift, not the shower gift.

I supposed I've learned a lesson from this. I was following Miss Manners' advice to send wedding gifts to the couple's home sometime between one year before and one year after the wedding. From now on, I'll wait and send the gift after the wedding.

[shootingstar]

But, um, that wasn't a shower gift, that was the wedding gift. I'm not sending another gift.

Not that I want to be stingy, but I really don't know this couple very well. And I'm just not rolling in disposable income right now, for a variety of reasons. And I have to pay for a hotel room and use a vacation day in order to attend this wedding. I mean, I'm happy to attend and I do wish them well, I just don't plan to buy any more gifts.

I just hope no one at the wedding mentions "my generous shower gift," because I really don't want to have to tell them that it was the wedding gift, not the shower gift.

I supposed I've learned a lesson from this. I was following Miss Manners' advice to send wedding gifts to the couple's home sometime between one year before and one year after the wedding. From now on, I'll wait and send the gift after the wedding.

Probably wise to let it go.

If it were me, I would have simply indicated (in the card) that it was my wedding gift. Wedding preparation is a lot of details and this couple might have genuinely misunderstood or not remembered their wedding guest attendance list. One thing for certain giving wedding gifts at the wedding reception is a pain in the butt 'cause it can become a security issue or just remembering who is going to pick up the gifts after the big night.

[ny biker]

Probably wise to let it go.

If it were me, I would have simply indicated (in the card) that it was my wedding gift. Wedding preparation is a lot of details and this couple might have genuinely misunderstood or not remembered their wedding guest attendance list. One thing for certain giving wedding gifts at the wedding reception is a pain in the butt 'cause it can become a security issue or just remembering who is going to pick up the gifts after the big night.

Yes back in college I attended a wedding where the bride and groom had to ask me and a few other friends to help them take care of the gifts that were brought to the reception, and it really was a hassle finding room in people's cars and keeping track of everything to make sure nothing was lost (or stolen). This is why I usually send the gift after the wedding. It never occurred to me that it would be confusing to send it a few weeks early.

If you watch TV shows and movies like Downton Abbey, they always show wedding gifts being sent to the bride's family's house before the wedding. But I have no idea what current etiquette books (or websites) say about the issue, or if they address it at all.

[emily_in_nc]

I find it very odd that anyone would assume that a gift received from someone not even INVITED to the shower was a shower gift, especially when said person is invited to the wedding.

Just very strange to me. Someone is either scatter-brained or feeling very entitled, IMO. I would just go to the wedding and not say another word about the gift. Either they'll figure it out later or never think of it again!

[Pax]

Hotel, definitely!! I won't stay with people anymore, really need my privacy.

[Pax]

Yeah. I've learned the hard way. The money is totally worth it. It's not so much privacy for me, it's just my family are a$$h013s.

When I was 18-25 or so it was fun staying with friends and family, but as I've aged, no way!

[OakLeaf]

Glad he's doing better, anyway. I'm trying to develop some tolerance for the inevitable "someone else is sick, poor me," but I don't have a lot of patience for that attitude. That's one of the reasons for some of my own health care decisions.

Yep ... hotel when we can get away with it, which isn't always.

[Crankin]

I don't mind staying with my kids or my brother, as their homes are kind of like mine... my brother does take some work to deal with, but he has a pretty significant mood disorder. I can joke him out of his funks, so outside of that, we are strangely similar, despite a 10 year age difference and totally different lives. We do stay at hotels, or mostly B and Bs when we visit though.

[shootingstar]

One would think with several siblings who each have their own home and they all live in 1 big large city...that I would have choice for overnight stays.

There are 2 siblings that I have each stayed 1-2 nights and then do the remaining days in hotel. Sadly, I would not be happy to stay with my mother who now lives in a big enough house...she would be very picky on my messiness...in her eyes. She has always been quite controlling..

It shouldn't be like this but unfortunately some parents don't know how to see their adult children without lecturing/ordering them to do stuff. I hear enough stories from my siblings since my father has died last yr.

I know some others like me, who are unable to stay overnight with aging parent for visits. It becomes difficult when one only sees the parent once a year or less. Often, there are huge expectations on both sides on how the visit outcomes should be like. I'd rather hear stories from my mother, for she will no longer be alive, instead of instructions on how to look after her kitchen. (As if I don't know.) I suppose the positive thing about all this, is a mother is generally quite organized in doing stuff, an asset as she grows older in her 80's.