Ever feel your making...

[Melalvai]

Thanks Roadtrip for sharing. It's good to know I'm not alone.

We felt almost paralyzed to make a decision lest we make the "wrong" one again.

I feel like I dragged my family through several moves for my career which, well, hate is too strong a word, but for what we've been through I ought to love it. And I do not. I feel so guilty. I wonder what it would look like if we hadn't made that first move for my career, the one that led to moving several more times. It was so long ago, I am tempted to say we'd be happier, but honestly we probably wouldn't be. I'd probably be super resentful that I "gave up" my career for family.

We never really know what the right choices are. Life should be full of regrets. If it's not, we haven't really been living. Or we've been really, really lucky.

I cope by telling myself that kind of thing. But it doesn't really help.

Knowing that you all have the same feelings helps.

Your job brought you your road bike, so it wasn't a total loss. As far as your family, what if the situation were reversed? I hope that I would be a loving spouse and not resentful about moving a lot. That takes away some of the guilt. When I make mistakes, that's an opportunity for my spouse to show his love. (He cannot resist a crying woman, so it actually works out fantastic, lol!)

[shootingstar]

Hope you find an easier solution Roadtrip.

Even if a person makes and lives a great/decent decision now, doesn't mean things may change very drastically later. So the time outside of your job that is spent with famiy is more important. For some of us (including me) who have focused on one's job(s), there is a point you have to walk away at the end of the day. I have a boss who is high maintenance (but she doesn't quite realize it), gets angry alot (but usually for the right things, not at her employees that report to her), fights for her dept. (which we all appreciate), but who will retire in about 5-7 yrs. There may be some drastic organizational changes then which may not be necessarily the best.

The biggest difference is that she does appreciate her employees' effort and tries to credit accordingly...though sometimes she just ...forgets. And she swears, though not over what we do. (She has 2 university degrees.)

[OakLeaf]

(((((Roadtrip)))))

As usual I'm at a loss for advice, but just wanted to extend my sympathy.

[hebe]

I can't add anything to the great thoughts above. I hope your MIL is doing ok, it must be an extraordinarily stressful time for you, and I don't doubt that it's magnifyng everything that doesn't feel right for you. Hugs.

[shootingstar]

No doubt you will support your hubby re his mother. To manage your own stress, the onus needs to be on your hubby for his mother with you stepping in where you can best help out. Hopefully hubby understands you stuck in the demands on your employer.

It's hard to keep on in a job....because an income is necessary at times.

[Roadtrip]

I thought I'd post an update here... The annual reviews came in October and I finally decided to go to HR about some of my concerns. These were meet with honest gratitude and understanding, but i came away feeling that not much would change, so there is still that challenge. Finding something more rewarding and in line with my skills and desires.

When I last posted i had recently started a new assignment (you need a job after all) that I was less then thrilled with and I'm still posted there. I am just not happy with my placement. I've been given more roles in the department which keeps me rather busy now, but now my boss is looking to me and telling me she wants me to really take more ownership of the applications I'm supporting. I've been struggling because I am a person who honestly wants to help and work together with my co-workers and some of those that were working to transition support TO me were less then thrilled to help me help them and sorta skuttled my abilities to learn until I finally spoke up.

Another problem is my heart just isn't in it. I can do the job and I have no doubt that I am capable, but the internal politics of this place is reactive versus proactive, and the support staff is like a medic moving from one field trauma situation to another.

I took another job to get away from this type of environment. I'm on the road nearly two hours a day getting to the client location which is 2x further then I used to travel. I'm sick of it... I can't fathom taking over here and staying here for the long term... But I need this placement until I can find that next thing. I just feel so stuck right now.

Shannon

[shootingstar]

Is it because the company truly doesn't want to train up someone with some more advanced skills to support you on a regular basis? I don't know the business model of your organization and how your organization charges services which might make them cheap or maybe your organizations is intended to be reactive????

I think I made a good decision to be where I am now but I'm noticing that I'm very busy to a point where I will be overwhelmed shortly. Meanwhile another colleague sits less than 10 ft. from me, putzing away.

Nothing to do with my decision (of taking the jog) but a recurring imbalance. Fortunately I enjoy most of my work... Like you, I dislike seeing poor personnel management. I'm in an unionized environment.