Dear So and So

[snapdragen]

Dear former coworker. I no longer work there, I am not available to answer your work related questions. Our fine employer did not see fit to give me the promised promotion, so I left. I'm certainly not going to work for free now. Stop emailing me with light breezy messages, then drop a "Oh, how do I do this..." question at the end.

[lovelygamer]

Dear Friday afternoon drivers. I'll be heading for home in three hours. Please don't honk, yell or aim at me this Friday. Last Friday, you scared me to death and almost knocked me down. Thanks.

[tulip]

Dear Dishwasher,

You haven't worked in weeks, and you haven't worked consistently in six months. So why is it, when the repair guy comes out to fix you (or replace you), you suddenly hum along like a new machine? I bet when I load you up with dirty dishes, you'll find some excuse to not work again...

-Madge

[Reesha]

Dear murdering sob raccoons who keep raiding my backyard/ chickens at 4 am,

You may have gotten one last weekend while the AC unit was on, but now I have an alarm system permanently armed (my sheltie) and as you discovered this time I am not afraid to streak across my backyard in my underwear throwing bricks and swinging a 2 x 4. May your lesson be learned quickly. Otherwise there may be a humane trap and a less humane end in your future.

[solobiker]

Dear young children in the neighborhood, I know you have fun on your little electric car...but please try to stay off of our garden area and grass area. I spent quite a bit of time trying to make it look nice, spent quite a bit of money and we have sprinklers in there too. Your parents should be out there watching you I would think..(They range in ages from 4 to 8). I spoke to you last night when I stopped you from going up and down the sidewalks and I am sure your parents are mad at me know because DH saw you walking up and down the sidewalks with your kids shortly after I spoke with them. Why do I have to be the "mean" lad on the street.

[Trek420]

Dear Family of cyclists on the MUT,

I know you love riding.

I know you love your family.

Can you please find a more reasonable, sensible, less idiotic and moronic way of doing it than the one I saw you demonstrate today?

Lots of options to choose from depending on age and ability of the fruit of your loins: trailers, trail-a-bikes or the less equipment intensive formation of a parent in front, parent in back and the 3.5 children or however many there were riding in between parental units.

Whose bright idea was it to tie the entire party and their bikes together with ropes as if you're heading for an assault on Mt Ranier, ice picks in hand, crampons on the boots, all set for crossing the crevasses?

Yet there you were in formation at the side of the trail your Walmart bikes each tied stem to stern with nylon rope.

I hope I don't read in the news tonight any one of a myriad of disasters I could imagine:

little Timmy falls, drags entire family into Lake Washington ...

little Sally strays left and knocks out blind runner and her dog ...

Or maybe this was some 20/20 experiment like the "What Would You Do?" series and I should have stopped to ask "Uh, are you sure you want to do this??"

I hope someone does.

I hope one of you looks up, sees a trail-a-bike and says "Honey? Can we get some of those?" Maybe a cycling family will stop and show you the ropes so to speak.

I regret not stopping to talk with you but hope you get the idea for your and my safety.

[solobiker]

Wow Trek..although I am not suprised.. I just don't get people these days. I feel kind of bad about talking to those kids last night.. ( read my above post) but then again I don't because they were damaging things in my yard. I tend to be non-confrontational so I always feel real bad when I do and always second guess myself. Maybe I need to move away from everybody and everything.. I keep telling my husband that one day I am going to be "the crazy cat lady"

[Trek420]

I could not believe my eyes. I've seen and done some crazy things in my life but never this on a bike. The kids are likely roped together because their parents feel they lack some intrinsic basic cycling skills. They are small kids, of course they do.

How can the parents not envision the possibilities of what momentum + traffic + kids who can neither brake nor handle a bike + Cervello TT riders on the MUT for whom anyone slower than them becomes a travesty will become?

How did these two make it to adulthood and reproduce?

Take the kids out one by one and teach each one to ride. There's another sensible idea.

[indysteel]

Dear coworkers: I know; the automatic lights that we now have in the various spaces in our office are pretty nifty. There's no need to turn on the light when you go into a space; it just goes on automatically. And it will turn turn off automatically, assuming it doesn't detect any movement, in ten minutes. But, you do realize that you can still manually turn off the light, right? So, when you go to get something out of the supply closet, why not just turn off the light instead of letting the auto-feature turn it off ten minutes later? I know you're not that lazy, right.

[screeve1]

Dear Cigarettes,

For the love of all that is good and natural, leave my senses alone. I must break free of you at once and for all, forever. Why do I continue to crave your poisonous puffs? Especially now, with my aunt just out of the hospital, on oxygen probably for the rest of her life - because of YOU! You're some kind of botanical demon, offering temporary satisfaction that only leads to pain and suffering in the end. I have to be strong, stronger than you. I will not let you defeat me. Victory will be mine. I truly believe that by trusting in Spirit, I will overcome this.

Screeve1

[skhill]

Trek, I've seen some pretty dumb things on the bike path, but that takes the cake. Just curious-- was anyone wearing a helmet?

Dear VFFs,
You have spoiled me. After all the hours running in you and walking you, I can't bear to put on women's dress shoes. My toes expect space and freedom! And now, I hurt if I try to run in non-minimalist shoes. Just a spontaneous .25 miles with a bouncy dog in the park, and my ankles were aching the next day.

[Trek420]

Trek, I've seen some pretty dumb things on the bike path, but that takes the cake. Just curious-- was anyone wearing a helmet?

Good question. I was too shocked to check. I'll go back out there and see if there's 5 tiny ghost bikes all roped together.

Not to make light of crashes but

[lovelygamer]

Dear boyfriend-please take heed of my advice in traffic and don't be afraid to follow me when I jump in the flow of things. I wait safe distances, use signals and go with the right of way. We should be side by side at all intersections. Last weekend, when we rode (only the second time you went with me, so I'm trying to be patient) I was in the lane we were supposed to be in and you were in the far right two car widths and lanes away from me. You were in the right hand turn lane when we were going straight. After you went straight, you continued to stay in the far right shoulder even when we were making an immediate left turn so then I had to make the turn and wait several minutes for you to get across the traffic lanes when you could have been with me the whole time! Plus, I can't look out for you when you are two car widths away from me. Oh, and you don't use hand signals so everyone probably assumed you were going to turn right. We are lucky your still alive. I hope you heeded my advice that you could get killed riding your bike in traffic like that. I told you TWICE to not be afraid and explained what the rules were. I hope you use signals when your out riding alone. I realize your new at this but be smart. People get killed on bikes all the time in our community.

[Sky King]

Dear Assisted Living Staff,
I don't find any humor with a 7am phone call to tell me my Dad fell out of bed THREE DAYS AGO. Seeing the number on my phone so early in the morning immediately brought on feelings of fear that something was wrong. Gee, ya think my short reply may have been connected to that... OH and to so flippantly request that I get him a bed closer to the floor, gee you would think I have all the time and money in the world. Okay going to drink more coffee, and get over it now.

[solobiker]

Dear Assisted Living Staff,
I don't find any humor with a 7am phone call to tell me my Dad fell out of bed THREE DAYS AGO. Seeing the number on my phone so early in the morning immediately brought on feelings of fear that something was wrong. Gee, ya think my short reply may have been connected to that... OH and to so flippantly request that I get him a bed closer to the floor, gee you would think I have all the time and money in the world. Okay going to drink more coffee, and get over it now.

That is just wrong!! I work in long term care and families should be notified ASAP when things like this happen.