Obesity and addiction

[goldfinch]

Perhaps it's not helpful for him (or for you) to know that other people don't 'just eat' but it IS extremely helpful to acknowledge that this is the case for many 'regular' sized people. There are those of us with fairly extreme food issues who never got to the extreme obese situation. I realize it's different, but I don't think that it should be dismissed as eye-roll worthy, if you know what I mean.

I've been overweight (if sometimes only slightly so) my whole life and I have quite extreme food issues. Bingeing, purging, hiding food, replacing food that I've eaten, eating in private, hiding packaging, hoarding, obsessing about what others eat, obsessing about what I eat, eating until I was in physical pain and even blacking out. I also consider myself 'normal', highly well-adjusted and quite confident in most areas. And yet I've always hated my relationship with food. How I never got more than just tipping the scales into obese is beyond me. I think having always been very athletic and living with a thin family has kept my overall weight gain at bay (for the most part) despite severe food issues.

That doesn't mean that just because I don't have to struggle to fit into an airplane seat that my struggles with food are any less severe than my aunt who was morbidly obese. I was just really good at 'hiding' and internalizing it because it wasn't as outwardly obvious.

Anyway, as I mentioned, I was lucky in that I was always athletic and lived an active life, so I managed to keep the worst of the actual weight gain at bay. I have cycled up and down the scale gaining and losing the same 40 or so pounds multiple times over the course of my life. And again, I have always hated my relationship with food. I hated the power it had over me (or so it felt). I hated the shame. I hated the physical pain. I hated constantly thinking about it, constantly desiring it and never ever actually feeling GOOD about it.

Conversations like this one actually really help me these days. It helps me to remember how I used to feel and how important it is for me to stick to my new habits. I've made such a huge change in my life that sometimes I forget what it felt like to be controlled by food (no, I'm not exaggerating) and how freeing it is to be done with that. The bad habits can creep back in when I am not thinking about it, so I do think it's important to remember and to be ever on guard.

Thanks you for your response. My comparison was with those who maybe struggled with a few pounds here and there or would push away a second helping because they shouldn't have it, not with an eating disorder. And I agree, you can't tell by looking at someone what there struggles are. Bulimia and anorexia are extremely difficult and life threatening issues as well. I just do not want to minimize the extreme difficulty it is for people to deal with obesity by saying that everyone has issues.