I'll jump in and say that I am convinced that I am addicted to food. And I've struggled with obesity and weight gain my entire life, topping the scales at 320+ pounds. I was so big that I could not even buy clothes at Lane Bryant anymore.

Food is an addiction I still struggle with.

I hide food. I'll hide evidence of food I've eaten. Sometimes I'll eat an entire package of cookies, candy, icecream, bread, peanut butter, chips, (fill in the blank) . . . and then be so embarassed and humiliated that I run out to the store to replace the package before anyone finds out. Sometimes during those episodes I get the sensation of 'blacking-out.'

There are times I will eat and continue eating until it is physically impossible for me to put more food in my body. I eat when I'm tired, when I'm stressed, angry, sad, etc.

It's a comfort thing for me. A distraction. A way of shaming myself. Even a way to sabotage myself (I'm not good enough to succeed).

Finally accepting that this was an addiction and coming to terms that I would struggle with food every single day was a turning point for me.

I do have to write down what I eat and get on the scale every single day. When I don't do that, I relapse. Weighing in is about holding myself accountable, sort of like attending an AA meeting.

I've worked really hard to not let myself get obsessive in the other direction (anorexia, bulemia). I was afraid to have kids because of how being pregnant would affect my body. But, I did not want to be a slave to my food addiction--I didn't want it to get in the way of having a family.

This weekend I am going to Chicago. I have anxiety about eating away from home and not having complete control over my food. This is something I struggle with every time we are invited to a dinner party, take a vacation, have a pot-luck at work . . . I have to remind myself that it is okay. It is a vacation and I am allowed to enjoy myself. I can still make good decisions while I'm gone and even have a treat.

Cycling has been good therapy. I like training and working hard. I've learned how to eat a balanced diet and that food is fuel for our bodies. In other words, eating is not bad or shameful.

Now I have the challenge of teaching my children how to eat. The kids help with the meal planning every week. I talk to them about how food supplies energy to our bodies and keeps us healthy. I emphasize the importance of eating a variety of food.

It's a daily battle. Somedays more-so than others.