Food became a problem when I was first married and we didn't make enough money to really eat. It was feed the kids first and then take care of yourself which pretty much meant I wasn't eating much. Then when we did have food it was eat as much as you can because you don't know when your next meal would be. That was about 14 years ago and the mentality is still here. It's a double edged sword on your physical and mental health.

Later when I was diagnosed with epilepsy and bipolar most of the drugs cause weight gain with Depakote being the worst offender. With the highs/lows of bipolar eating has it's own problems. If you are depressed, you either eat to feel better or don't eat at all. If you are on the manic side, you are too busy to eat and only realize it when it's dinnertime.

Cycling has brought it's own food issues and I get torn on continuing to cycle. If you don't have enough food/calories (with the right food) when you start, you bonk. It's a terribly sick feeling and intensely frightening. When I'm done with the ride, there's this overwhelming desire for food as you've just gone through all that energy. When I ride past the BBQ restaurant, I'm dreaming of ribs, mashed potatoes, salad, and corn on the cob and end up going back with DH to inhale food. I've gained weight instead of losing it. Cycling can be physically and emotionally overwhelming. My entire metabolism has changed and no book goes over cycling for heavy people.

On the other hand my blood pressure is down and I'm gaining some better definition on my body. My back and fibromyalgia can handle the ride and there is a sense of accomplishment once you are done. For the first time in years, I'm outside almost every day.

It helps with the depression/mania even though I still get pretty cranky because of my limitations. It's helped with the anxiety of leaving the house and once I realized that my biggest fear of cycling is being stranded, I've been able to work through it. It's made me more independent and more confident.

I just wish I could manage the intense food cravings after the ride. I think because I'm heavier my body's metabolism after a ride is different than someone who doesn't weigh as much. Every book on cycling/nutrition has numbers for skinny people. The caloric intake for someone who is 150 lbs is totally different for someone who is 220. Obviously the food after the ride needs to be as healthy as the food you eat before a ride.