Dear Cat

[Owlie]

Dear LuLu,

If you wish to join in my yoga practice, we need to clarify a few things. First, it's called downward-facing DOG. Dogs don't have claws, so this pose does not involve clawing at the yoga mat. Second, when my hands are resting in a mudra on my thighs, they are not available to pet you. Third, if you tickle me with your tail while I am in triangle pose, I am likely to fall on top of you and crush you. Finally, we usually chant om before and after practice, as opposed to chanting meow throughout the practice. You are, however, welcome to purr during meditation.

Namaste,
The woman who ought to seek inner peace in the feel of your fur on her fingertips

That's cute and funny! DBF's mom went through several stages of trying to work out around His Royal Highness. First she did what she wanted, but his Catness decided that she wasn't doing anything useful and was therefore available for treat retrieval. Then she tried shutting him in her bedroom, but that didn't work because he doesn't like closed doors and would complain loudly. Then she tried giving the cat the run of the house and shutting herself in the bedroom. That didn't work either, for the same reason. So she gave up and started going to the gym.

[Thorn]

Dear Izzy, you are one spoiled kitty. Because we know you love boxes, we have indulged you by leaving four of them out so that you can play in them. They are overtaking the house. But because we love you and think you're the cutest thing ever, my guess is they're not going anywhere. I particularly love when you get in the smallest of the boxes. It's perfectly Izzy sized. It's especially cute that you like to be carried around in said box. For all the things you squirm away from, the mere fact that you like to be carried in and on things is endlessly amusing to your humans.

<chuckle /> We have more boxes lying around the house than a shipping and packaging firm. Whenever I go into a "that's it!", the looks I get from the girl cat would make you think I was killing her best friend.

There is a video somewhere on the web on how to measure the volume of your cat....looks like with your perfectly Izzy sized box, you have successfully determined the volume of said Izzy.....

[bmccasland]

Chloe - your penchant for biting things has gone a bit too far. You did not need to bite my e-notebook's power cord. I'm glad you didn't get shocked, but I had plans for the money I got to spend replacing it.

[lph]

Dear Cat,

we are so so sorry you got into a fight and got bit (again). We know you are suffering and are attempting to redeem the situation with tidbits, gentle speech and fluffy blankets left around on floor level. We no longer think you are about to die, just because you do, but we will endeavour to treat you with utmost sympathy and tenderness until you feel up to ruling the world again tomorrow.

(We have the cat version of the guy with a Man Cold:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ )

[skhill]

Dear long-haired cat,

Don't look at me like that-- Mother Nature has control over the temperature, not me. But I understand; I'd be grumpy too if it was nearly 80F outside and I hadn't shed my winter coat yet.

[marni]

Dear long-haired cat,

Don't look at me like that-- Mother Nature has control over the temperature, not me. But I understand; I'd be grumpy too if it was nearly 80F outside and I hadn't shed my winter coat yet.

Our big Maine Coon kitty spends about 11 months out of the year pretending to be an animal skinf fur rug on the tile floor under the ceiling fan. Since he is double coated and doesn't really have a winter coat per se, we have been known to trim back his belly and exploding armpit hair to a somewhat shorter length to facilitate more contact with the tiles. He usually forgives us after a week or so.

marni

[chincitop]

Dear evil communal house cat,

I have grown to love you, despite your ornery nature, and my fear that one day you will cuddle me at night and I will wake up sans a kidney. But if you EVER go straight from licking your manhood to licking my face again, I will be forced to kill you.

Love,

notmykink

[Wahine]

Dear evil communal house cat,

I have grown to love you, despite your ornery nature, and my fear that one day you will cuddle me at night and I will wake up sans a kidney. But if you EVER go straight from licking your manhood to licking my face again, I will be forced to kill you.

Love,

notmykink

ROTFLMAO

I lived with a communal house cat like that once.

[chincitop]

Yeah, he's pretty much the root of all evil. He's been in that house for 6 years and his original owners aren't even there anymore. he's just been passed down through roommates. He hated EVERYONE for 5 years until last year, I was laying in my bed and he all the sudden stepped onto my chest and started purring. My friend was over and walked by & was like "Omg he's gonna steal your soul."

Ever since then, he's been periodically creepily affectionate, but is still otherwise mean and ornery, even to me, who is his "favorite"

[Bethany1]

Dear Bandit and Buttons,

You have been neutered and spayed. Why are you two going at it? She's driving me nuts with the creepy meowing and her butt up in the air all day long. He's driving me nuts by running around the house at high speed and mounting her when he's up to it.

This is the start of day two. I'm about ready to stuff both of you in different rooms and ignore the pleas.

Apparently the doc missed something or your instincts have figured it out. At least I don't have to worry about kittens. I hope he isn't hurting her as he's 10lbs and she's about 5-6.


The Mom

[skhill]

Dear Bandit and Buttons,

You have been neutered and spayed. Why are you two going at it? She's driving me nuts with the creepy meowing and her butt up in the air all day long. He's driving me nuts by running around the house at high speed and mounting her when he's up to it.

SHHH! you're giving Moses ideas. Actually, it's most likely the neighborhood semi-ferals who sometimes use our porch as the honeymoon suite that get his motor running... Mica is quite tolerant, she just lays there looking bored, most of the time...

[indysteel]

Dear Izzy and Henry: Stop with the shedding. I realize that we skipped spring, but do you have to lose all your fur at once? I can't keep up, and when the late afternoon hits the wood floors just right, I nearly have a heart attack at the accumulation of fur. It's everywhere and I just vacuumed and brushed you!

[katluvr]

Dear evil communal house cat,

I have grown to love you, despite your ornery nature, and my fear that one day you will cuddle me at night and I will wake up sans a kidney. But if you EVER go straight from licking your manhood to licking my face again, I will be forced to kill you.

Love,

notmykink

OMG...I think that is the funniest thing I have read in a long time...definitely a LMFAO moment!

K

[Brandi]

Dear cat,
Could you not throw up in the silverware drawer?
Dear husband, could you not leave the drawer's open?

[indysteel]

Dear Henry, I love that when you "escape" to an area of the house where you're not really supposed to be, you don't use it as an opportunity to be a stinker like your sister. Rather, you find the softest thing in the room on which to cuddle and sit there like a good boy until we find you. You're the sweetest boy ever. I love you.