been there, done that as well! the abuse, the denial, and the "want to honor the vows" counseling did work all that out for me though...i finally talked the husband into going and we had a session, the next session was just me alone and the counselor said to me "he is a jerk!" haha how ironic...i go to counseling to SAVE the marriage and the counselor said to get out (she saw signs of abuse that was just unsafe!!!) my marriage was young and no children had spawned
months of feeling stupid for marrying this guy in the first place, feeling so lonely (i had moved away from my family & friends to HIS city and all my friends were his which i had decided to cut out of my life...so literally i was ALONE except for my bosses which are great and have since moved me away of there ) needless to say i had NO money no self esteem and no motivation...but one day i joined a gym and climbed that HUGE mountain to recovery....
i now have a WONDERFUL, fair, respectful, fun, forgiving, amazing husband who has shown me the "light" of cycling and now i am climbing mountains for the sheer joy of getting to the top!!!!

you too sound very capable of climbing out of this...keep your kids by your side and just take a peek at their faces anytime you need a little motivation...send us your grief, we will send bon-bons or cookies or something...and try to remember you did not deserve to be treated that way! I wish you happiness and strength....

now, pedal on......