Hi, HP, and welcome to the TE board.

I stayed with my ex, through physical, verbal, and financial abuse, because I had a ring on my finger and had taken vows. I am ashamed to say that when I was kicked out of my home (so the new woman could move in), I still thought I could "save my marriage". I have come to believe that there IS no marriage when abuse occurs. I cannot tell you exactly what vows we took, but I imagine it was "love, honor, cherish", etc. Those were violated with the first threat, the first blow, the first foul name I was called. I was dedicated to an idea of marriage, and it's a good idea, at that. But it wasn't what was actually happening in my home.

The summer after my divorce, I started riding the world's most beat up Schwinn that a friend of my mom's found in an alley and gave me. I would wake up every morning with my heart in my throat, thinking "what am I going to DO?!?!" I rode that bike nearly every day. I rode it to work, even when the chain fell off and the brake pads rotted through. I bought a book and learned how to fix it. I trained for a triathlon on that bike, though I borrowed a friend's "real" tri bike to do the race (came in dead last, btw, and grinning my head off).

Since my divorce, I've become an athlete. I'm still digging out of the debt, but I am getting free. My heart still pounds if I see my ex, which happens about twice a year. I have friends today who would circle round me in a heartbeat. I've never been safer in my life. I've gone from isolated and terrified to loved, loving, and free.

I wish the same for you. Enjoy that bike. All best wishes, Lise