Dear idiot who threw a knife at a commuter on our bike trail last night:

You suck. I hope the cops catch you. I hope they can match the knife (stuck in his helmet) with the rest of the set in your kitchen. I hope they charge you appropriately.

Dear idiot who has been exposing himself on the same bike trail:

You also suck. I really hope the cops catch you.

Dear self:

Don't ride that trail for a while.