Dear So and So

[channlluv]

Dear Petite, Skinny Mom,

It's really not okay to laugh along with your four-year-old when he laughs at the lady with the "great big butt." Granted, maybe you were embarrassed, but by the smirk on your face, I kinda think not.

Me.

[alexis_the_tiny]

Owlie, try sprinkling some salt into the onions next time. It sucks out the residual water and helps the sugars inside brown faster.

[Biciclista]

Dear Channlluv
I am sorry the mom was such a jerk. When my own tot (only 2 years old) kept telling me in his loud clear voice "Mommy look at that ugly ugly man" I was so astonished that all I could do was rush him away from the poor guy (who wasn't particularly ugly) he was too young to understand that he might hurt someone's feelings. On the other hand, I was proud that he was speaking in sentences. I don't think I smirked though, I was horrified!

[solobiker]

Dear Petite, Skinny Mom,

It's really not okay to laugh along with your four-year-old when he laughs at the lady with the "great big butt." Granted, maybe you were embarrassed, but by the smirk on your face, I kinda think not.

Me.

I am sorry that happened. People can be pretty pretty oblivious to others around them. Sorry I can't think of a better word then that..but I think you know what I mean. I tend to be very aware, almost to a fault. Hope you have a great day!! You rock

[Owlie]

Dear Petite, Skinny Mom,

It's really not okay to laugh along with your four-year-old when he laughs at the lady with the "great big butt." Granted, maybe you were embarrassed, but by the smirk on your face, I kinda think not.

Me.

Dear bike:
Please stop giving me that look. I want to go out too, but I'm too poor to afford clothing to take you out. We'll try for later this afternoon, after I've had some tea and it's warmer than 35 degrees. Brr!
-Your owner/ice cube
Dear BF:
What are you whining about? I'd give an arm to have riding-friendly weather right now!
-Your girlfriend, who is rapidly turning into a popsicle.

[channlluv]

Dear Channlluv
I am sorry the mom was such a jerk. When my own tot (only 2 years old) kept telling me in his loud clear voice "Mommy look at that ugly ugly man" I was so astonished that all I could do was rush him away from the poor guy (who wasn't particularly ugly) he was too young to understand that he might hurt someone's feelings. On the other hand, I was proud that he was speaking in sentences. I don't think I smirked though, I was horrified!

What was really disheartening is the setting -- we were at a place where my daughter spends a lot of time, probably with this woman's older kid, although I didn't recognize either the little one or the mom.

I've had people laugh at me before - a couple of times when I've been riding around the lake. One man even laughed as I rode past him (he was walking) and shouted ahead to his wife in a language that sounded like Russian to me -- she was about twenty yards ahead of him. She looked up just as I was riding past, at me, and then she laughed, too. Another time it was two younger college-age women on beach cruisers, also at the lake.

I've had strangers ask me when my baby is due, one saying that I look like I'm about to pop. One even said, incredulously, "You're kidding!" when I told him I wasn't pregnant, and he kept staring at my stomach like I was lying to him. I wanted to dump a vase of water over his head.

Another time, in Home Depot, I was browsing in the garden section and a little boy in a cart next to me said, "Look, Mommy, that lady has a baby in her tummy." The mom glancing up with a smile to congratulate me, then realizing I did not, sort of looked embarrassed and shushed him and moved to a different aisle.

I've heard more than once, when I was younger, "You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose some weight."

I don't know. Even my therapist has been telling me that maybe I just need to be one of those big women who just live their lives and don't give a damn.

Being fat is hard, though.

Roxy

[Biciclista]

What was really disheartening is the setting -- we were at a place where my daughter spends a lot of time, probably with this woman's older kid, although I didn't recognize either the little one or the mom.

I've had people laugh at me before - a couple of times when I've been riding around the lake. One man even laughed as I rode past him (he was walking) and shouted ahead to his wife in a language that sounded like Russian to me -- she was about twenty yards ahead of him. She looked up just as I was riding past, at me, and then she laughed, too. Another time it was two younger college-age women on beach cruisers, also at the lake.

I've had strangers ask me when my baby is due, one saying that I look like I'm about to pop. One even said, incredulously, "You're kidding!" when I told him I wasn't pregnant, and he kept staring at my stomach like I was lying to him. I wanted to dump a vase of water over his head.

Another time, in Home Depot, I was browsing in the garden section and a little boy in a cart next to me said, "Look, Mommy, that lady has a baby in her tummy." The mom glancing up with a smile to congratulate me, then realizing I did not, sort of looked embarrassed and shushed him and moved to a different aisle.

I've heard more than once, when I was younger, "You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose some weight."

I don't know. Even my therapist has been telling me that maybe I just need to be one of those big women who just live their lives and don't give a damn.

Being fat is hard, though.

Roxy

ouch. Even i did that once to a friend. I said "omigosh, don't tell me, you're pregnant!" and she wasn't...

[redrhodie]

Roxy, as the daughter of a woman who was tortured by her size, I can understand your pain. I wish my mother had been able to not care. She really let her body hate ruin her life. She pretty much hid, when she would have liked to be doing. It prevented her from enjoying life.

We don't get to choose our body, so it's really not fair that having a "nice" one is so valued. It's not like it automatically makes you a nice person. I wish we cared more about that, but it's all superficial.

But, I think you're very pretty the way you are (not that that matters ).

[channlluv]

Well, the pregnancy comment has happened enough that I know whomever is making it is trying to be thoughtful, not hurtful, so it doesn't bother me as much, but that old guy staring at my stomach and challenging me. He actually followed that up with, "I would have guessed five or six months along." Yeah, really. Thanks.

Oof.

[Owlie]

((Roxy))

Dear self:
Harden the **** up. While I can understand not wanting to ride with back cramps, given that the last time we did so, we nearly crashed, if you're going to ride for the remainder of the year, you're going to need to learn to do so in the cold.

[jobob]

((Roxy))

I'm a firm believer in karma -- of the 'what goes around comes around' variety. I truly believe people who deliberately say or do unkind things will eventually get theirs.

It may not be immediate (oh, wouldn't it be great if such people could be vaporized on the spot?!?) but perhaps someday the petite skinny mom may wake up to find herself old and flabby and have someone remark on her less-than-perfect appearance, or, owing to her marvelous 'parenting' her son will grow up to be a callous self-centered jerk who does not give her the time of day.

I suppose it's a negative thought process to take; I don't really dwell on this kind of thing but it does help me get past injustices like that.

[OakLeaf]

(((((Roxy))))) People can be so rude. I wonder if there's a snappy response you could come up with?

[channlluv]

Thanks, jobob.

Oak, mostly I just ignore them. It's embarrassing to acknowledge public scorn.

Sorry to gripe here. I'm the one actually looking forward to winter riding season because the trails are less crowded. Fewer people to mock me.

Roxy

[lph]

channlluv, if it's any consolation, the only way I see you is that big, victorious smile in your avatar, and it's gorgeous.

[maillotpois]

channlluv, if it's any consolation, the only way I see you is that big, victorious smile in your avatar, and it's gorgeous.

+1!!!

And big yay to RD and Mimi.