I assume you are also in search of friendship, so gravitate towards those who are there to ride, not form a pecking order. If such people don't exist in your group, maybe it's time to find some who DO want to ride and form your own group!
Funny you mention that. Just this past ride there was also a new rider who I assume is about my age and very friendly. We immediately were having fun chatting with one another. I hope she keeps coming to the rides.