Beth, yikes! I hope that drink was a good, stiff one.

Dear landlord,

The flat I just viewed that belongs to you isn't a flat. On the charitable end of the scale, it's A Wreck. On the less charitable, it's a bleeping cra*khouse. You seem to have turned it into a place to dump crap you don't want and your current tenants have reduced it to the point where all it needs is a rat infestation to be complete. None of us want to fork over 3000 bucks a month for three bedrooms and a "store-room without windows but you can turn it into a bedroom" even if the neighborhood is lovely. The sad part is, this country's housing market is so dire that despite rust BLEEDING INTO YOUR WALLS, there will be someone offering you a thousand dollars above your asking price for it. Good grief.