Bragg's, anyone?

[malkin]

Why not? I love SPAM

I'm all for it (especially in HI) but just not in France.

[Trek420]

And you can bring your own Bragg's Liquid Aminos to use as a dipping sauce.

Roxy

Mon dieu Oy gevalt. Well, ok you go ahead and use whatever you want but why on earth use liquid aminos (whatever that is) when I can have this on my Portuguese sausage eggs and rice!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sriracha_sauce

[channlluv]

The Liquid Aminos taste a lot like soy sauce/teriyaki sauce.

They're also supposed to be really good for your hair and boosting digestion/liver function or something to help you lose weight. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Go find a cookbook.

Roxy

[channlluv]

Medical update: The good news is, all blood work has come back normal. No celiac, no hormone problems, nothing. All my results came back in the normal ranges. A little high on the sugar, but not diabetic. A little low on the thyroid hormones, but still normal. My endocrinologist is going to have me do a 24-hour urine collection to test for Cushings, but he said today that if it's not that, he's not sure what else it could be.

I did some reading online and while I have several Cushings symptoms, I don't think it's the answer, either. He checked my abdomen and I don't have the too-much-cortisol indicators. (I have been living under a high level of stress, though, for almost twenty years. Actually, all my life. But it's not indicated in the blood tests as having any sort of effect on my system.)

Meanwhile, I'm now swimming a mile at the Y a couple days each week, and 10+-mile bike rides a couple times a week, and I'm still trying to be conscious of what I eat, although not super restrictive because I find that stressful, having to track everything so closely.

I asked him if I could have a referral to a nutritionist and he's handing me back off to my family practitioner because he's run every test he could think of (except for the Cushings thing, which will happen this weekend).

So I'm back to square one, but feeling pretty old (I turned 46 a week ago), frustrated, angry at myself for not being able to lose this weight (because obviously it's all in my head), and nowhere close to answers that will help me get fit.

I've been fat all my life, and he actually said today, "It may be that this is just what it is." Meaning my body has a set weight of 230, and unless I want to try gastric bypass, he can't help me.

I told him I don't want surgery because I wouldn't be able to eat for cycling or swimming...I wouldn't be able to train. My mom has had lap band surgery and it helped her lose 80 lbs in a year, but her diet is extremely limited, she can only eat 5oz of food at a time (although she regularly overdoes this and blames it on a faulty band adjustment), and often throws up whatever she's just eaten. I've been out to eat with her several times and she's had to excuse herself from the table to rush to the bathroom because "it's just not staying down." I don't want to live like that.

He also suggested their weight loss program, but I've done it before, and while there was some nutrition included, the teacher kept saying it was just a calories in-calories out equation and here, buy some of our chocolate shakes and chocolate-peanut butter bars and then eat a regular balanced meal once a day. No thanks.

I just want to cry. My life has been dominated by weight. I'm tired of being the fat mom. I'm embarrassed to run into women I know at the Y in the locker room, because there I am in all my pale, whale-like glory, and yeah, I just swam a mile, but who cares? I still look like a ten months pregnant pear.

I'm a bit, I don't know what I'm feeling about this, but the two tall, healthy, gorgeous friends I got into cycling a year ago are outriding me on a regular basis. I just can't keep up. I'm a hundred pounds heavier than they are. I can go farther, but nowhere near as fast. I can't even ride with them because I don't want to compromise their workout because I'm so much slower than they are. They're both training for the women-only tri in October, the one I invited them to join me for last year (I did the bike leg with two other friends for a relay team). They both had to get bikes to do it.

Ditto for the swimming. They are like dolphins. I'm a manatee.

And my knee (MCL) still hurts from that ridiculous 5K Everyday plan in August.

I'm feeling really isolated. My gut is telling me there's something wrong, but none of the medical tests back this up, so I'm wondering if I'm just deluding myself and I should just shut up and stick to the stupid whole grain-organic everything diet of the day, count the points, weigh everything, add up all the calories and deduct the exercise calories burned, if that number is even accurate for me because my body is so out of whack I have no idea if what's on the Garmin is accurate...I'm whining. I'm sorry.

I read in the October SELF that we should aim for 75 minutes of aerobic exercise every week to jump start weight loss. I had to laugh. 75 minutes a week??? I'm doing 75 minutes every other day, and a half hour on the days in between. If those skinny models are only doing 75 minutes a week to look like that, why can't all the exercise I'm doing pay off for me, too?

Whine, whine, whine...

The big update, though, is that I don't have anything showing in any blood tests that would indicate a reason why this weight isn't coming off. "It just is what it is."

Roxy

[crazycanuck]

(((Roxy)))

Ya know what..you may be the weight you are but.... you're still human & are obviously a wonderful person. You're doing what you can & obviously are dedicated to getting to your goal.

You're telling me you can't just go and make an appt with a nutritionist??? That's complete B******** . Is there one at the Y you go to???

life is complete $*$*$*$*%&&&$*$ some days & although i don't have a magic answer for you, keep believing in yourself.

Keep riding & swimming. Do not give up & keep going. Throw away the mags as much of it's gunk.

There might be some recipies on http://www.healthyfoodguide.com.au/


btw..I often feel like a manatee with the chicks in our swim group. Most of them are size 2 & are ironmans etc..Out on the trails too BUT...I just keep on going out there to prove to myself i'm not a complete dorky potato..

Keep moving & keep smiling.

[KnottedYet]

Throw away the mags as much of it's gunk.

What CC said!

Hang in there!

Stop beating yourself up with all this stuff you are reading, stop counting and measuring, stop chasing fads.

From what you said about your mom, it sounds like she may have taught some challenging food behaviors as you were growing up.

Those gut surgeries fail when people force so much food into themselves that their stomach stretches and creates a new big pouch. Please don't even consider getting it done to yourself.

I think going to a nutritionist with the goal of learning about food in general (NOT weightloss!!!) would be an excellent place to go from here. As long as it's not the charlatan you went to before.

Somewhere on this board is a piece written by a TE'er who went to her doc for a check up, and got a lecture about how she was obese and needed to exercise. She had just finished an Ironman triathlon.

So, yes, some folks have a set point that is on the sturdy side. (my sweetie, for example, riding SF to LA in the AIDS Lifecycle several times and looking cuddly every step of the way)

If that's the case with you, then learn all the aspects of how to fuel the machine in a positive way, and take on the world! Stop punishing yourself! Ask a good nutritionist to teach you how to eat without counting, without restrictions, without searching for quick cures and miraculous snake oil.

What is that Michael Pollan quote? "Eat real food. Not too much. Mostly from plants."? Something like that, anyway. Eat food that has value for the joy and fuel it brings, not for some purported magical effect it has on weight. Eat food your body likes. (if it makes you uncomfortable and gassy, don't eat it. if it feels like lead in your tummy, don't eat it) A nutritionist who isn't out to sell you crap shakes and crap bars can teach you how to gauge what foods make your body happy.

Let go of the urge to let your life be "dominated" by your weight. Find something FUN to dominate your life instead. Find something deeply meaningful to dominate your life instead. Find something that adds joy to the world and contributes to the good of society to dominate your life instead.

Eat real food. Enrich your life. F*ck the weight. (to paraphrase Mr. Pollan)

[OakLeaf]

(((((Roxy)))))

What Knott said.

You're beautiful and strong the way you are.

Ask your family doctor for a referral to a nutritionist. Not that I've ever seen one, but I think a sports nutritionist may have a better handle on weight loss in athletes. I expect you have a medical school associated with a Division I sports team ... that's where I'd look if it were me (actually I'm thinking about it, but haven't made the appointment yet).



@CC - welcome to the wonderful world of USA "health care." She can *probably* make an appointment on her own (not always true with allied health professionals, but usually), but insurance won't cover it unless she has a referral (some insurance, any MD/DO can refer, other insurance, your PCP is the gatekeeper for everything).

[Trek420]

Somewhere on this board is a piece written by a TE'er who went to her doc for a check up, and got a lecture about how she was obese and needed to exercise. She had just finished an Ironman triathlon.

I can't find the thread but found her on YouTube (warning: turn the speakers down and or OFF if at work or around small/young children).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGFx4xWnnnI

So, yes, some folks have a set point that is on the sturdy side. (my sweetie, for example, riding SF to LA in the AIDS Lifecycle several times and looking cuddly every step of the way)

((roxy))) Especially when I did my 4th AIDS ride (I had some challenges on my last ride) people were shocked by what they perceived as weight loss. I was always hearing "wow, you're losing weight". The funny thing was I weighed the same but dropped from size 20 jeans (with elastic waist band of course) to 12. I threw the scale out or put it away anyway, just found it for the TE Weight Loss Thread. I still go by "how I feel, athletic performance and how my clothes fit".

With all you do I'd bet you feel, look, ride & swim lot better than any 200 sumthin' woman who does not do any of that. Actually .... better than any skinny sedentary person.

I'll hash my thoughts out this out later, gotta get to work and the doggie needs a walk too. A very wise TE'er (Velo Girl, actually) once told me that cycling particularly is about strength to weight ratio. So "you have a choice of getting lighter, stronger, or both". My body is on the sturdy side (luckily my sweetie thinks that's cute) so I focused on strength; eating lots of good tasty nutrient dense yummy foods, adding weights and/or intervals to the regime.

I lost inches, gained a stronger engine. The weight stayed the same. But it's a hoot to feel fit.

[redrhodie]

I just want to cry. My life has been dominated by weight. I'm tired of being the fat mom. I'm embarrassed to run into women I know at the Y in the locker room, because there I am in all my pale, whale-like glory, and yeah, I just swam a mile, but who cares? I still look like a ten months pregnant pear.

I'm a bit, I don't know what I'm feeling about this, but the two tall, healthy, gorgeous friends I got into cycling a year ago are outriding me on a regular basis. I just can't keep up. I'm a hundred pounds heavier than they are. I can go farther, but nowhere near as fast. I can't even ride with them because I don't want to compromise their workout because I'm so much slower than they are. They're both training for the women-only tri in October, the one I invited them to join me for last year (I did the bike leg with two other friends for a relay team). They both had to get bikes to do it.

Ditto for the swimming. They are like dolphins. I'm a manatee.


Roxy

I have a lot of thoughts ((((and hugs, Roxy)))) about everything you've written, but I'll keep my point to this...what does "outriding" mean? If you can go farther, then you win (this is your life, and these are your rules!). Focus on your strengths. You're built for endurance. You're strong and healthy. You've got a lot going for you for cycling. If you're into doing tris, you won't even be in the same category as your friends, so you can't compare what you're doing to them. It's not the same (but it's just as good).

My ultimate goal is to be a long term cyclist. I'm going for "still riding when I'm 90". (Actually, I'm going for 100, but since no one in my family has ever lived to 90, anything over 84 will be gravy). I ride in a way to not get injured, moderate distances, and I keep a moderate pace. I see no reason that if I don't get hurt, I can't be doing this for the rest of my life. With this as my focus, I don't care if I'm fast, since speed isn't necessarily going to help me reach my goal. I just keep pedaling, because it's good for me and fun.

[channlluv]

Thank you, friends. So I should embrace my Weebleness, huh? You all make it sound so easy.

Trek, thank you. I've got size 20, elastic-waist jeans, too. I wore them yesteday.

I'm sorry for the whine fest. I should have put a Pity Party warning sign on the subject line. I appreciate all the love and support, and the really, really great advice. I can contact a nutritionist myself. I was just hoping for a qualified referral to a sports nutritionist. I guess he didn't know any. My family doctor is a runner and cyclist, too, though, so I'm sure she knows someone.

When I do tell someone how much I weigh, they're usually surprised. I don't look it from the waist up. My hips, though, and thighs...remember that SNL skit about the wide-bottomed people? I'm not quite that bad, but not too far off.

I'm a Weeble. A Weeble who can bike twenty - thirty miles and swim a whole mile without stopping.

Trek, I'm going to take your story as my inspiration here. I'd love to get down to a size 12. I know I can do it. I just have to not get injured and keep up the regular exercise.

Thank you again, everyone, for the love and support.

Roxy

[Trek420]

I'm a Weeble. A Weeble who can bike twenty - thirty miles and swim a whole mile without stopping.

Remember; that's more than many people do ... ever. You rock!

Trek, I'm going to take your story as my inspiration here. I'd love to get down to a size 12. I know I can do it. I just have to not get injured and keep up the regular exercise.

Well, I thought I'd get down to a 10 this year but my jogging buddy doggie pulled up lame (that'll be another thread) and I need to refocus on staging the condo (another thread) so I'm working out cleaning

I'd rather be fat and fit than skinny and weak any day.

[KnottedYet]

Gawd, that shot of Denise going through the finish tape just gives me shivers EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Yeah, BABY!!!!!!!!

[Trek420]

Any skinny chick can do an IM or swim a mile non stop (well, maybe not any, but you catch my drift).

Fat cyclists rock! And tomorrow, we'll be lighter or maybe just smaller jeans.

[emily_in_nc]

Roxy,

I am one of the petite ones, but I just want to reach through the miles and give you a big hug. Girl, be kind to yourself. You are doing what 99% of people, even skinny people, don't, and that is exercising and eating right and attempting to live healthy lives. I'm constantly amazed by the intelligent, educated people I work with who smoke, don't exercise, eat burgers and fries daily for lunch, and basically don't expect to live past 70, so they think "why bother" when it comes to developing healthier habits. What a heartbreaking attitude, and there's not a d*mn thing I can do to change their thinking, which I fear will just become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You, otoh, are doing the right things, your mind is in the right place, and yet, you are still overweight. I would be very suspicious of your "slightly low" thyroid. One of my best GFs had "slightly low" thyroid, and once she got herself to an excellent endocrinologist and started on thyroid hormone, lost 30 lbs. effortlessly. There are a lot of folks who are borderline on thyroid, but because they're not in the "low" range set by the powers that be, are not treated. Your ideal level may be much higher than the norm. I fully believe that our bodies are all individualistic, and what is right for most may not be right for me or for you. But finding a doctor who believes that and will work with you, trying different things until you find the magic, can be difficult. My friend lives in San Fran, where there are many good doctors who are holistic and open-minded, and that has helped her, but that's not possible everywhere.

Given all that you have told us, you should be losing weight, and you aren't, so something is wrong with this picture. The key is figuring out what that is. Yes, your setpoint will probably always be higher than mine as you say you have been overweight all your life, so unfortunately have more fat cells than you need (fat cells don't just "go away" without liposuction, they just expand and contract). But even given that, you should be able to lose weight on a healthy, reasonable diet (I totally agree with the advice that mentions Michael Pollan above - real food is key) and with an active lifestyle. If you are not losing, something is biochemically "off".

The difficult part is finding out what that is. I sure do wish you luck in this journey. Hardly a day goes by where I don't feel gratitude for being small, because I can imagine how those who are larger must feel. I was chubby in college from too many pizzas and beer, so I got a small taste of what people like you go through every day, and it was not fun.

Keep fighting!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Roxy }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[nscrbug]

Roxy...I'm going to echo what emily_in_nc said about being suspicious of the low but normal thyroid. I'm one of those that was on the low end of normal with my thyroid test results. My doctor thought that perhaps even though I wasn't technically deficient, he felt that by putting me on a low dosage of thyroid hormone might make me feel better (I was having all kinds of symptoms). Let me just say, that it did help immensely. I would go back to your endo and question the thyroid results again. I have been on the thyroid meds ever since, and am now up to taking 88mcg of Levoxyl. They your doc do a full thyroid panel including the test for antibodies?