I was an independent 38-year old when I met my now husband. We dated from about an hour's distance for about 15 months before buying a home together last September. We married in February. It was A LOT of change in a short period od time.

The adjustment wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it might be, largely because he understands and respects my independence. He's neither clingy nor needy. We spend a lot of time together, but there's space and time for us to pursue our own interests. He also respects that I have my own opinions, ways of doing things, points of view, etc. He's never implicitly or explicitly suggested that I become something other than what I am. I love him for a lot of reasons, but this is one of the biggies.

I honestly don't feel like I've lost who I was before. I sometimes have to make an effort to stay in touch with "her," but I had to do that at times when I was single, too. Single or married, I will always a work in progress--work that I thrill in doing. I luckily married someone who supports my efforts.

I'm also more than I was before. Not because I'm part of a couple per se, but because I gave myself some room to surprise myself and grow. Loving someone and letting someone love you is a beautiful thing.

So, if you want to pursue this relationship, give it a shot. Be honest with him, and trust that you can do this on your terms. If he's right for you, he'll get that. If he's not right for you, you might still learn something about yourself along the way.

I will say this, too. If you're not ready for this, that's just fine, too. Best wishes with whatever you decide.