Dear So and So

[lph]

Dear friend, ex-friend now, I guess:

I don't know what sparked that last bout of unprovoked nastiness - jealousy, paranoia, a bad day at work or a sore back. You were behaving like a furious, unbalanced teenager. Maybe you were trying to trigger some kind of reaction from me, I don't know. I don't really care now either. All I want to do is get it established that no, I did not lie to you. I had no reason to, you had no reason to suspect me to, and just because your version of things doesn't jive with my version of things does not "prove" that I lied. This is real life, where it's not always easy to establish exactly what happened, it's not a spy story where the slightest discrepancy is suspicious and means that the other person is in fact your enemy.

What is killing me is how nasty you turned. Arguments are one thing, but you really want it to be me being a liar. I won't be able to forget that. At some point you may apologize. But I really can't trust you again. I wish I could because I really like you and you're a lot of fun at your best.

I don't if I'll be able to really "break up" properly. Maybe we'll just drift apart and not talk much after a while. Just a bit apathetic now. I'll go hug my cat again.

[redrhodie]

(((lph))) I have nothing useful to add. I'm not great at breaking up, either.

[lph]

Thanks, red.
I sure wish someone could teach me that trick of not caring, or just turning my head off and thinking about it tomorrow.

[malkin]

I put a note over my desk that says:

Perfecting the application of pure apathy

to help with stuff like that.

[limewave]

Dear 10-Minute Mile,

I regret to inform you that your employment with Limewave Corp. Running Division (LW) is terminated effective as of May 3, 2010.

You have been a valuable asset to our company and your termination in no way reflects that I am unhappy with your performance over the last five years. In fact, you have always been reliable and unwavering in your service to LW.

LW has reevaluated its goals and, unfortunately, your services are no longer needed. I have decided that 9:30 is a better fit with the future of LW. Although it is a riskier choice, it is one I that I feel necessary at this juncture.

I will keep your information on file and hope that you would consider part-time employment. There is a space open in the Recovery Department since 11:00 M/Mile has retired.

Thank you for your years of service.
Sincerely,
Limewave, CEO
Running Division

[salsabike]

Limewave, that is a hoot. And congrats.

[Blueberry]

Dear Admin that sits near my office:

I really DO NOT want to hear the details of your life or your non work related all day. I don't want to know what you think of someone's outfit, or how much they weigh. And I really didn't want to know about the draining herpes infection in your nose. TMI. Please keep it to yourself. If I could move, I would.

Signed.
A co-worker who has been TMI'd to death

[Maxxxie]

There's such a thing as nose herpes???

Dear neighbour's annoying kids: I'm tired of your squealing. From the moment you wake until the moment you conk out, you squeal. I can hear you from the other side of the house, through closed windows and doors. SHUT UP ALREADY!

Max

[Blueberry]

There's such a thing as nose herpes???

I 'spect (but don't want to ask) that it's a cold sore on the nose. Could be wrong, and not gonna find out

[crazycanuck]

nose herpes..sounds interesting I'll pass on those thanks

Dear Uni Tutor(s) for X Class

First off, you will not be getting any good comments from me regarding the class. Normally I don't do the evaluate thing online but this time I will and ensure you get my drift..

I appreciate you taking the time to speak to me the other day about it & super duper appreciate the extension til monday.

The assignment using Google Sketchup is way way way over my head & the few instructions you've given are pretty darned poor. You expect people to be computer whizzes in 5 min. I'm not one and would happily do with a long detailed instruction manaul to follow so i'm not sitting at a computer terminal @ uni in tears. I didn't want to spend too much time on this assginment as it just turned me off. Ugh . Your tutorial wasn't any help.

I would much rather work on writing a paper where I can express ideas in words!!! Words & crazycanuck= Computer design programs & crazycanuck

I'm so glad that my dear can help me..*phew*

[Catrin]

Dear Rain,

I know you are needed this time of the year, and I know it is spring. However, I am paying a good amount of money for this B&B and I came here to ride my bike. I would greatly appreciate it if you could cease and desist operations for the rest of the and tomorrow so I can ride my bike. You can return tonight if you like, but please give me some time today and tomorrow to explore this rail-trail on my bike.

Sincerely
Catrin

[NbyNW]

Dear Random People Out Walking Your Dogs and/or Pushing Strollers:

It's a beautiful day. Please remember to smile. I promise it won't hurt.

Peace and love,
J.

[TriMom217]

Dear SIL,

I'm sorry to say it wasn't your "prayers" that brought the situation to where it is, it was hard work and diligence on my part. I am the one who made it happen for your son, after many, many phone calls. It would be nice if you could acknowledge that him living with us has been good for him (and definitely good for you as you go gallivanting across the country) instead of spewing your vitriol and hate our way. And so, as per your wishes, you remain dead to us.

And your brother. Divorcing the only SIL I have left. CANNOT believe he is going to put his children through what he went through as a child. Why is your entire family so ****ed up? The amount of dysfunction that engulfs you is just mind boggling.

On the bright note....I never have to visit (insert State name, one where the Cowboys play) again. Thanks for that!

[Selkie]

Dear Retired-in-Place Coworker -- You're over 50 and a senior officer, so I'm unsure why you react like a 7th grader and interpret everything as a criticism/putdown. You are uncouth and lack basic manners/courtesy, always attributing your own ungracious motives to others. To make it worse, you seem to avoid any work that is commensurate with your pay rate, leaving our poor boss to dump it on me (who is not your "peer" in terms of pay or experience). I do the complex, high-pressure work while you sit around, eat crunchy food, make disgusting noises, monitor everything I do (including staring at my legs---creepy, especially since you're a woman), and crank out volumes of "easy" work a junior officer could handle. I'm not walking on eggshells on you any more.

[bmccasland]

Dear Powers-That-Be,
Would you please give my Little Sister a break? She has bad lungs, ever since she had the unfortune to inhale little microbes back in 2nd grade. But this chronic asthma/bronchitis/mono crap has got to stop. Especially since she can't even afford to see a doctor.

It tears me apart that she's been barely covered by health insurance, and is now applying for disability and medicaid. And reading between the lines from other things she said... that the social service that she and BIL saw friday also sent them to the food bank for a box of groceries, tells me that other things aren't so good either.

Some of her choices in life I've questioned, like sending her kids to private school when they can barely keep food on the table. But I've always kept my mouth shut. So I hope the gift card to Food Lion will help a bit.

And I sincerely hope that somehow they'll find a way out of this chronic short of money problem they seem to be in. They're finally not spending foolishly (to my knowledge) - but they just can't get caught up either.

Can't BIL find a decent job, with benefits to take care of them? I'm doing what I can, but it's hard to fathom that I'm paying 1/4 their annual household income too.